- 8 hours ago
Will and Ralf Should Know Better (2024) Season 2 Episode 6
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00:08¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:38¡Suscríbete al canal!
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05:36¡Suscríbete al canal!
05:38¡Suscríbete al canal!
05:39¡Suscríbete al canal!
05:41¡Oh, Dios!
05:44Estoy en un lugar, como un charity, donde pueden aprender a ser padres.
05:51¿Qué esperamos de un bebé? ¿Cómo ser un bebé?
05:54¿Cómo ser un bebé?
05:54¡No!
05:58¡Hasta la hora de aprender!
06:01¡Hola!
06:02Hoy, hoy es el grupo de co-founder de Thomas Lynch.
06:08What's the worry about children?
06:10It's a lot of work, innit?
06:12I bought a bread maker once, and I loved making that bread.
06:16But after a little while, I was like, I just unplug it and put it under the cupboard.
06:18Put it in the garage.
06:19You can't really do that with babies, can you?
06:21That's the first time I've ever had a child compared to a bread maker.
06:24At first, all they are is, you've got to feed them and clean them.
06:29And that's sort of it for a while.
06:31You don't get much back, do you, for a while.
06:33And that can be quite soul destroying.
06:34Especially for you guys, you need that attention, right?
06:38I mean, you're not wrong, but I didn't expect to be called out quite so quickly and accurately, yeah.
06:44There is definitely a little bit that you need to give.
06:46But as soon as they make little noises, as soon as their eyes are opening, it's brilliant.
06:50Ralph, what is it that you're most afraid of, do you think?
06:55I've lived a lot of my life having a mentality where there's nothing I can't walk away from.
07:05It's actually terrifying to me, the idea of loving something so completely and irreversibly.
07:14Yeah, you can't walk away from it.
07:16I can't walk away from it intact.
07:18That's terrifying to me.
07:20I think we should go over, get some hands-on experience, change some nappies.
07:25OK.
07:25Let's go.
07:27Good evening, come on in, come on in.
07:29Are these your regulars?
07:31Yeah.
07:31The groups have run multiple times a week across Scotland, giving free advice to new and expecting dads.
07:37Knowledge is power.
07:38Look after the neck.
07:38Look after the neck.
07:39Is anyone expecting a baby?
07:41You?
07:42When is it coming?
07:43November.
07:43How are you feeling?
07:45Nervous.
07:45Excited.
07:46I'm going to show you how to put a baby in a car seat.
07:49We want to get the baby as snug as possible.
07:51What age is the baby when you sort of get your life back?
07:58So, we're going to show you how to change a nappy on a baby.
08:00This is a newborn baby, so you don't need to take it over the baby's head.
08:04And that's important for when you have what we call Poonami or Poomageddon.
08:07Ralph, so...
08:08Hi.
08:09You've got to change a nappy.
08:10Hands on.
08:15Hiya.
08:16You taking your watch off?
08:17Because I don't want to scratch the baby with me watch, do I?
08:19You don't want shit on your watch, that's what it is.
08:21I don't want shit on me watch.
08:22Right, OK.
08:25I have no skin in the game, really, in there.
08:28And it even was making me nervous.
08:29It was like, there's a lot.
08:31It was almost like just theoretically picturing the responsibility.
08:34It felt like a lot.
08:36Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
08:39Exactly.
08:39Beautiful singing.
08:42Oh, God.
08:46Michelle!
08:48This one's for you.
08:49That's how I'd play that.
08:51You've got to be careful here.
08:53Don't lift the baby too high because of the baby's neck.
08:55No, that's fine.
08:57Put the big wings to the back and keep it nice and flat.
09:00Do you know what?
09:00I was watching that today with him changing his nappy and I missed it.
09:06Even though it's really hard.
09:08And I might be looking at it through rose tinted glasses.
09:11But my kids are all grown up now.
09:13And it just, you realise how quick time goes.
09:16Yeah, I miss being a dad that the kids, you know, need and look up to.
09:20That was a magical part of it.
09:23There you go.
09:24There you go.
09:25That looks good.
09:27Amazing.
09:28Oh, it's just shit again.
09:32Fucking hell.
09:33That's life.
09:35Beautiful.
09:36Well done.
09:36Well done.
09:37Before we leave, Thomas has one little gift for Ralph.
09:41We have your very own baby to look after for at least the next 24 hours,
09:47but maybe 20 years.
09:50And you need to be responsible.
09:53You can do this.
09:54Come on, Ralph.
09:55Look after the neck, remember.
09:57I've done it.
09:58It's you.
09:58There you go.
09:59You need to think of a name.
10:00Do you have a middle name?
10:02Alistair.
10:02It's a good solid Scottish name.
10:03That's a good Scottish name, yeah.
10:04There you go, call Alistair.
10:05You have a night with it tonight.
10:08It's making noises.
10:11You'll be all right.
10:12Yeah, we're fine.
10:13We believe in you.
10:14You can do it.
10:15I bet you can do it.
10:17All right.
10:17Thank you, everybody.
10:18Thanks for your time, guys.
10:20And good luck.
10:21Cheers.
10:22And thank you, everybody.
10:44Ralph.
10:45It might have shit itself.
10:46It might have...
10:47Hold on.
10:48Just calm me down.
10:48Oh, see what I mean?
10:49You've just got to hold your nerve.
10:51It'll stop.
10:54Good girl.
10:55Well, it was a boy.
10:57Good boy.
11:02I'll take care of it.
11:08Ralph.
11:09That's it.
11:09You can't get the music off.
11:10I can't hear it.
11:11Ralph.
11:12That's not the key.
11:13You've got to sort it out.
11:22Ralph.
11:23Ralph.
11:25Ralph.
11:26Ralph.
11:28Ralph.
11:28¡No, no, no, no, no, no!
11:58¡No, no, no, no, no!
12:23¿Dónde está el fondo?
12:25¿Dónde está el fondo?
12:25¡No, no, no!
12:26¿Dónde está el fondo?
12:29¿Qué haces?
12:32¡Tú, no, no, no!
12:34¡Más no, no, no!
12:36¡Más no, no!
12:36¡Más no!
12:37¡Más no!
12:37¡Gracias!
13:03No, no, no, no, no, no.
13:08I can see it threw some questions into your mind that you weren't expecting.
13:11Yeah.
13:12I could tell from your reaction that you was a bit like,
13:15maybe there is a reason, a bit deeper, why I haven't had children.
13:21For sure.
13:23No, it is.
13:24Yeah.
13:26My parents were fantastic with us and did the best that they could.
13:30Yeah.
13:31But their relationship broke down really, in a really difficult way,
13:36and that was very difficult for us.
13:37Yeah.
13:39You know, there's no way of putting this that's not blunt,
13:43but, you know, they had three kids in an idyllic family life,
13:48and then one of the kids was alive one week and dead the next.
13:51Yeah.
13:52And everything, their entire lives,
13:56crumbled right in front of their eyes from that moment on.
13:58It's like, you know, you can't protect them.
14:02My mum was really, my mum was really protective of us, really protective.
14:14And, and, and it happened anyway.
14:16It happened anyway, because you can't, you can't wrap your kids in cottonball and protect them 24-7.
14:21No.
14:22Like, it's, like, it's, it's a lot.
14:25And it's only when I'm forced to sort of say these things out loud that I realise quite, quite what
14:29a lot it is.
15:00Yeah, yeah.
15:28Do you think it's possible that you might shit yourself?
15:30Do something a little more challenging, something that might challenge fears.
15:35What?
15:40Okay, knees up, hook them on.
15:43Sit, hands off, look up.
15:46Leg straight.
15:48Up!
16:00Nice.
16:01You must be out of your fucking mind if you think we're going to be able to do that.
16:05Scott Craig started out in the circus as a child in Australia nearly 30 years ago.
16:10And now teaches trapeze here at Community Circus Paisley.
16:16This place, basically a circus school.
16:18It's now, I think, one of only two indoor flying trapeze rigs in the UK.
16:22Wow.
16:23So, what is it we're actually going to be doing?
16:25So, we're going to start with the very first trick that everyone starts with on flying trapeze, which is a
16:28knee hang.
16:29Which is literally just bringing your knees up, hooking onto the bar.
16:32Taking your hands off, hanging from your knees as you swing through towards the catcher.
16:36The catcher will grab you first and then you take your legs off the bar and you go for a
16:40swing on the catcher.
16:41That's the first thing.
16:42The way he made that sound really simple.
16:44I thought he was going to go, she's going to swing by your arms.
16:46I thought I was going to do that!
16:48Yeah, we'll start bit by bit.
16:49We'll start on the ground.
16:50It's pretty simple.
16:50It's just, if you can lie on the ground, bring your knees up to your chest.
16:54You've got it.
17:01I have to say I'm loving the outfits.
17:02Thanks, mate.
17:04I noticed that you're not sporting one.
17:06Lie down on the ground.
17:07That's it.
17:09Grab the stick and hold it above your head.
17:13Imagine you're hanging down.
17:15That's it.
17:16So, the secret to getting your legs under the bar.
17:18Scott, I'm exhausted already.
17:20All I'm doing is lying down.
17:21As hard as it gets, don't worry.
17:22You're going to bring your knees up.
17:24That's it.
17:25And then roll them right up, right up, right up, right up.
17:28All right, Scott.
17:28Fuck, nice to meet you.
17:30Jesus Christ.
17:31Take binding dinner first.
17:33Yes, there we go.
17:34I'm stuck.
17:36Let's try it again.
17:37Right.
17:38Look down at your feet.
17:39Yep.
17:39Roll your feet right up to the bar if you can.
17:41Even further, even further.
17:42Keep going, keep going, keep going.
17:44That's it, right up.
17:44There we go.
17:45That's it, that's it.
17:49Jesus Christ.
17:52Scott, Scott, Scott.
17:54You said anyone could do this.
17:56This isn't easy at all.
17:58There we go, see?
18:00Hey!
18:02I don't know how it happens.
18:05OK, I've got it.
18:06Here we go.
18:07It's impossible.
18:09Oh, there we go.
18:09What happened there?
18:11I don't know.
18:14I'm not flexible.
18:15Like a piece of metal.
18:16I don't bend.
18:17When you lean out, keep your hips forward and your shoulders back.
18:20Give me all of your weight.
18:21Straight legs.
18:22Yep, feet apart a little bit more.
18:23Sorry, that was me ankles.
18:24Did you hear that snap?
18:25That was me ankles.
18:27I felt that through the floor.
18:28I think he thought we might have had experience
18:30because he was like,
18:31do that, do that, let go, done.
18:33I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
18:34You jump backwards, bring your hips and your toes forward
18:36to go down that water slide.
18:38OK.
18:39Shoulders back, imagine you're rowing a boat.
18:41Hips forwards.
18:42What?
18:42Hips forwards.
18:43None of this is hard.
18:43That's it, there we go.
18:45Did I think Scott's training was a bit rushed?
18:49I think he just thinks we can all do what he can do.
18:52Look down at your knees,
18:53bring your knees up and around,
18:54push the bar over,
18:55put your knees on,
18:56hold on tight.
18:57When I say hands off,
18:58you're going to let go and arch right back.
19:00Scott.
19:01And then we'll just come back up to here.
19:02Scott, what are you talking about?
19:04Under the bar.
19:04You've got it, you've got it.
19:06Put them on.
19:07And then hands off.
19:09I can't.
19:10I can't.
19:11I can't.
19:11You can't possibly come down.
19:12I can't let go.
19:14Scott, I can't let go.
19:15I've got all your weight.
19:15I can't let go.
19:17Wait!
19:19Seriously?
19:20I can feel my heartbeat in my eyes.
19:24Let's do it.
19:25You go first.
19:29Tell you what though, that ladder looks really sturdy.
19:31Oh, yes.
19:34You don't have to think.
19:36Just do what you're told when you're told it.
19:43No.
19:45Mental.
19:47Oh my God.
19:48No, I'm sorry.
19:48I can't let go.
19:49There's no way.
19:50There's no way, mate.
19:52You've got it.
19:52You're halfway there.
19:54No, I can't do it.
19:54I'm telling you, there's no way.
19:56You've got it.
19:57We're facing our fears.
19:58Right.
19:59But letting go of that bar,
20:01once you've got one hand on,
20:02to do that
20:03and lean over.
20:08Go on.
20:09You can do it.
20:10Have you called me?
20:12Yeah.
20:13No, I can't.
20:14Seriously.
20:15I'm shaking myself.
20:16They've got you and I've got you on the lines as well.
20:19Oh my God.
20:20Honestly, this is horrible.
20:20Let go!
20:24I can't do it.
20:25I can't.
20:25Get me down.
20:26I'm not doing it.
20:27I can't do it.
20:29I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or what, but that doubt and that fear was more than
20:37it's ever been before.
20:43You can't do it.
20:54We're ready?
20:55Yep.
20:55Go for it.
20:56There's no way.
20:58That's awful.
20:59It's awful.
21:01It's horrible.
21:06I'll tell you what, Will, it's quite high up when you look from this angle, isn't it?
21:10Oh, is it?
21:11Oh, no, no, no.
21:12Let go, Ralph.
21:13Let go.
21:13It's rather high.
21:14Let go, Ralph.
21:16You're safe.
21:16They've got you.
21:18It's horrible.
21:19I can't even reach it.
21:20I can't reach.
21:22I told you.
21:26Just grab it.
21:27There we go.
21:28There you go.
21:29You ready?
21:31Yeah.
21:32Yeah.
21:32Hey, so you're listening to me, yeah?
21:34Yeah.
21:34Everything I say at the right time.
21:35Here we go.
21:36Bend.
21:37Jump.
21:38That's it.
21:38Relax now.
21:39Knees up.
21:40Put them on.
21:41Yep, under the bar.
21:42Go, go, go.
21:43Okay, stay there.
21:43I'm going to give you a bit of swing.
21:45Okay, gently hands off.
21:47Look right up.
21:49Leg straight.
21:50Yes.
21:52Oh.
21:53So you're not sucking the guilt.
21:58What a bastard.
22:01That was actually amazing.
22:02Fuck off.
22:04Okay, truth.
22:07The...
22:07Getting the second hand on it is by far the worst bit.
22:10It's horrendous.
22:11By far the worst bit.
22:12But from the moment you go, it's like, oh, this is great.
22:15You and 1 million percent can do it.
22:17I don't think I can.
22:18You can do it.
22:19The worst thing that can possibly happen has already happened.
22:23Which is putting on that outfit.
22:26That is true.
22:27You got this.
22:29These things that you take for granted as a kid.
22:31I used to go to parks, swing from me ankles.
22:34No fear.
22:35No problem.
22:36I'm 49 now.
22:39And...
22:39You can tell.
22:41One second, Alex.
22:47The longer you're up there thinking about it, the worse it gets.
22:50So the second time I just went, just do it.
22:53Yeah, you got it.
22:54Just stay there.
22:55Stay there.
22:55That's exactly it.
22:56You're safe.
22:57He's got you.
22:57Bend, jump.
22:59One, two, three.
23:00Bend, jump.
23:00Go.
23:00Go.
23:01Go.
23:01Go.
23:01Yes.
23:02Go.
23:04Yeah.
23:05Nice.
23:06Okay, ready?
23:06Knees up now.
23:07There's fucking no chance of lifting my knees up.
23:09Knees up.
23:10Do it.
23:11I'm going to let go.
23:13I'm going to let go.
23:13Do it.
23:14Okay.
23:14When I say.
23:15When I say.
23:15Ready?
23:16I'm going to let go.
23:16Let go now.
23:17When I say.
23:18Yes.
23:19Nice one.
23:19Fuck that.
23:20Can you stay in me fucking hands?
23:22Wait there.
23:22One second.
23:25You did it.
23:26I'm proud of you.
23:27That's fantastic.
23:28That's bollocks.
23:29Once you were swinging, did you not enjoy it?
23:31Nope.
23:32Will wasn't keen on another attempt, but Scott wanted me to try for a full catch.
23:37Swinging from one trapeze over to another gymnast.
23:40Okay.
23:41Should we go for a catch?
23:43Yeah.
23:44Okay.
23:44So Adam's going to tell you to bend and jump, and then you'll listen to me, and then Adam
23:48will say leg straight, yeah?
23:50So bend and jump to start?
23:52When Adam says, yeah.
23:55Okay.
23:56So left hand on that bar.
23:59Yeah, the bar's coming up.
24:00No chance.
24:01Second hand on.
24:02It's the worst bit, innit?
24:05Okay.
24:06Ready on board.
24:07Here we go.
24:07One, two, three, jump.
24:10Good.
24:11Okay.
24:11Knees up.
24:12Hook them on.
24:13That's it.
24:14Hands off.
24:15Look up.
24:17Leg straight.
24:18Yeah, Sean.
24:20Get in there, lad.
24:22On the shield that it is.zed,
24:29I'm gonna feel like tomorrow. Google bride.
24:34Wooo.
24:35Thank you forever.
24:40Woo! That was
24:42amazing.
24:43¡Gracias!
25:13de lo que empezó a partir de lo que ha hecho.
25:15Me aprecio tu tiempo, Nolan, gracias.
25:17No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
25:18Come back any time, we'll get there.
25:20En el face de eso, parece que me ha más suceso hoy que me ha hecho.
25:24Pero no estoy scared de los heites.
25:25Will went, eso parece terrible, no voy a poder hacer nada de eso.
25:29Y él sobrecame varias leyes de miedo y lo que ha hecho.
25:34Y, en realidad, creo que es, mejoramente, probablemente un mayor suceso.
25:43¿Qué pasa si me siento que me siento que me siento que me siento que me siento que me siento
25:49que me siento que me siento que me siento que me siento que me siento.
25:49¿Como me siento que me siento que me siento que me siento?
25:49Confidence is everything, you know.
25:51Even if you're not confident, you can sell that you are.
25:54Yeah.
25:54And that is what stand-up's about.
25:56Yeah.
25:56And that's just not me confidence.
25:57So when we go to do the stand-up, I'm not going to be as confident as I would have
26:02been if I hadn't have done that.
26:04Do you think it's too late to back out?
26:09It's the afternoon of the performance,
26:10and we're meeting Susie to get our first look at the venue.
26:16Well, there's no going back now, mate.
26:19Susie.
26:20Susie.
26:20Hi, boys.
26:21How's it going?
26:22Oh, come on over.
26:23This feels like the long walk.
26:25Dead men walking on the mile.
26:29So, you will have tables and everything, I mean...
26:33That close?
26:33Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:34There?
26:34It has to be.
26:36Oh, no.
26:37Even though we've never done this, it feels like it's close enough to what we are known for doing.
26:43Even though we know it's very different, I think there's an added pressure to that.
26:47There's no way I would have signed up to do this if I thought you'd be terrible.
26:50No, thanks.
26:51So, now added pressure from Susie.
26:53Yeah, that's very good.
26:53Don't let us down.
26:54You're my comedy children.
26:56We're keeping our material secret from each other, so Susie has given us feedback in private.
27:02We won't see each other perform until tonight.
27:05Hands out your pockets.
27:07Listen off.
27:08Right.
27:09I've not learnt any of this yet.
27:11Ladies and gentlemen, please, welcome to this stage, Well Mailer!
27:16Yes, people!
27:18Why, did Will go with no notes?
27:19Did he?
27:21Shit house.
27:21I will plan and plan.
27:23I just turned 49, and shitting myself has become a bit more of a regularity.
27:28Rav will leave everything to the last minute.
27:29That's just how he is.
27:31Well, this is scary already.
27:35It's, uh, uh, thank you so much for welcoming me into this warm, dark space.
27:41It's very inviting.
27:48As always, in retrospect, I wish I'd spent longer on it.
27:52Here you go, it's a young man's game.
27:54Trusting farts is a young man's game.
27:56That's funny!
27:56Yes!
27:57I liked it when you'd done the thing about kids being spoiled.
28:01Don't always punch up, mate.
28:02You've got to punch up.
28:04That's very funny.
28:05I can...
28:05Hilarious.
28:06That's how we flip it round.
28:07That's it.
28:07That's a great shout.
28:08Thank you, Susie.
28:09Really, really appreciate your help.
28:11Right.
28:11Oh, good arse.
28:13I'm battling with this thing of going, it's a few hours away now.
28:16And as it stuns, I still have essentially nothing.
28:20But do you know what?
28:21You became less nervous as you get further into it.
28:24You look less at your nose.
28:25I think it is so much stronger than what you think it is.
28:29Okay.
28:29I really do.
28:31I really do.
28:32So, yeah.
28:34Okay.
28:35I'm going to go and spend a few hours learning this,
28:37rewriting bits of it,
28:39trying not to throw up.
28:40I'll be great.
28:41You will be great.
28:42You will be great.
28:58I did have to rewrite some stuff.
29:00You know, Susie gave me some tips that I then had to go and rewrite.
29:03I think the best stand-up is personal.
29:05I've always enjoyed stand-ups where you learn a little bit about them
29:08and the way they see life and the way they see the world.
29:12When I left Susie, I got her notes and I went back and I worked on it
29:15and I took on her advice and changed it,
29:19which made me a bit nervous because I thought,
29:21if I change it at this point, what if that just messes my whole thing up?
29:27Yes, sir.
29:29That's the music going on now.
29:30Does that mean the audience is coming in?
29:31That means the audience is coming in.
29:35The stand is a 220-person capacity venue
29:39and this evening
29:43it's sold out.
29:47We are two of seven comedians on the bill.
29:50Nice to meet you, Ralph.
29:53You got for it, Ralph, then?
29:54I'm shitting my pants.
29:56Do you, have many of your, like, sitcoms been, like, studio films?
30:01Yeah, two pints that I did with Will was...
30:03You're used to that, then, like, reacting to the laughter.
30:05Oh, yeah, 100%, but, you know, somebody else wrote that,
30:09so if it was shit, then we didn't care.
30:12The audience is all in.
30:14The night is about to begin.
30:18Season about a few boys.
30:19So, you out there?
30:20Oh, here we go.
30:22Please welcome to stage, your host, I call it, Susie McKay!
30:28Hey!
30:30Oh!
30:32Oh!
30:36Eh, give me a wee cheer if you are from Glasgow.
30:41Any English in?
30:43No.
30:45Not so fucking cocky now, are they, yeah?
30:48Eh, up here, trying to smuggle back your square sausage and tablet.
30:54Listen, hamburgers don't have to pay you to be shit.
30:57Just to make me look better.
30:59To be honest, I'm trying a lot of new stuff, so...
31:01Oh, are you?
31:01It could go anywhere.
31:03All right.
31:03What's the set-up here?
31:05My God!
31:06You're like Jesus!
31:09I mean, I am a bona fide lesbian, but fuck you, handsome!
31:14Don't fuck it all.
31:16Don't fuck it all.
31:19Please, welcome to the stage, your first act is coming!
31:32Now, I really should explain my aided entrance here, right?
31:35That I am, in fact, registered as blind, right?
31:37Just delighted I'm no next to the bins, right?
31:43Will is on next.
31:45Fuck, it just got real.
31:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
31:51You know that it's a new material night for experienced acts?
32:01So this person's going to do it for the very first time,
32:04so please give this person all the love in the world.
32:07LAUGHTER
32:09Please, welcome to the stage, Mr. Will Merler!
32:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:19Yes!
32:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:24Wow!
32:27Just like Susie said, this is my first time ever doing this.
32:32It's a thing, you know, when you get a bit older,
32:34you start thinking, I've got to challenge myself.
32:36Do things that frighten you, you know?
32:38So here I am, shitting myself.
32:41Which, do you know what?
32:42I turned 49 just a couple of months ago,
32:45so shitting myself has become a bit more of a regularity,
32:48you know?
32:49No, it's true.
32:50It's true.
32:51Trusting facts...
32:54LAUGHTER
32:55..is a thing for young people.
32:58LAUGHTER
32:58Back in the day, TV seemed a lot more innocent.
33:02You know, what do we have?
33:04Programs like Blind Date, right?
33:06Innocent.
33:07What's the equivalent we've got now?
33:09Fucking naked attractions.
33:11LAUGHTER
33:12If you'd never seen Blind Date,
33:13if you were a bit younger,
33:14you'd have a lady.
33:15I should be asking questions.
33:16So she'd be like,
33:17OK, my question's for number three.
33:20Er...
33:21Number three, if you was a biscuit...
33:24LAUGHTER
33:25..what biscuit would you be?
33:28And they'd be like,
33:29Hello, er...
33:30Well, I'd be a...
33:32I'd be a jammy dodger.
33:34Because I'm hard on the outside,
33:37and I've got a soft centre.
33:39And it's like, aw.
33:42Now it's like,
33:43Do you like a big vulva?
33:45LAUGHTER
33:48LAUGHTER
33:48It's...
33:49LAUGHTER
33:57Does the dangly clit bother you?
34:00LAUGHTER
34:02The balls are bigger than the dick,
34:03is that a problem?
34:05How have we gone
34:06from there
34:08to there
34:09in my lifetime?
34:12I'll give you a little idea
34:13of what I think's coming next.
34:15Hey,
34:16I'm glad this is being recorded,
34:17because now I own this idea.
34:20LAUGHTER
34:23So it's a man, right?
34:25This is the game.
34:25It's a man.
34:26And he's stood there,
34:28fuck all of them.
34:29Naked, like that, naked.
34:31Apart from the blindfold, like that.
34:33Blindfold.
34:34And in front of him,
34:36there's five women,
34:37also naked,
34:38but all bent over.
34:41LAUGHTER
34:41Right?
34:42And the game is,
34:44using his penis alone,
34:47he's got to guess
34:49which one
34:51is his
34:52mum.
34:54LAUGHTER
34:54LAUGHTER
34:58Hey,
35:00you've had it on series link
35:01in about five years.
35:02Trust me, it's coming.
35:04Listen, thanks for being nice to me.
35:06Thanks for having me.
35:07CHEERING
35:08I'll see you again.
35:11APPLAUSE
35:20Ladies and gentlemen,
35:22where are we now?
35:23CHEERING
35:24It's his mum!
35:26Oh, my God!
35:28How was it?
35:28How was it?
35:29You smashed it?
35:30It was amazing.
35:31It was amazing.
35:32I just...
35:33It was amazing.
35:34Oh, God, I'm shitting it.
35:35I think it went all right.
35:37Do you think it'd go all right?
35:37I thought you smashed it.
35:38Oh, my God, look at that.
35:40You're shaking.
35:41But when you're up there,
35:42you just sort of try and sit in it.
35:43I'm shaking fucking watching.
35:44Yeah, it's scary,
35:45but if you push through that
35:47and you do something
35:49that's that scary
35:50and you come out the other side,
35:51there's no better feeling.
35:53Oh, so good!
35:54I'll be here.
35:55What a feeling.
35:57What a feeling.
35:59Thank you.
36:00Well done.
36:01I'm so delighted for you,
36:02and I'm also like,
36:03I've got to do this now.
36:04You've set the bar here.
36:06You can hit a spiral
36:08really quickly.
36:09I got laughs on looks
36:11and pause and timing
36:12and I just really enjoyed that.
36:15You were amazing.
36:16Honestly,
36:16there were...
36:17Oh, I'm so tough for you, pal.
36:19You were great.
36:21Well, honestly...
36:21Don't say that.
36:22Poor Ralph's got to go on.
36:25And please welcome back
36:26to host and content,
36:27Susie McKay!
36:29CHEERING
36:34Hey, hey!
36:36Listen,
36:37are we having a good night, folks?
36:39Right, Glasgow,
36:41I've got another newbie.
36:42Never done this before.
36:44What?
36:45Enjoy it?
36:46Believe in yourself,
36:47you've got this.
36:48Please,
36:49welcome to this stage,
36:51Mr Ralph Lettel!
37:01Evening.
37:04So,
37:04this is my first time
37:05doing this.
37:06As Susie McKay,
37:07legend,
37:07just said,
37:08she was very clear
37:09when she was giving me
37:10some tips.
37:10She was like,
37:11no memory aids are allowed
37:12whatsoever,
37:12no notes,
37:13nothing written on your hand.
37:14But I like to do things
37:15my own way,
37:16so I've written,
37:16Susie can fuck right off.
37:18LAUGHTER
37:20All you need to know
37:21about me is
37:2220 odd years ago,
37:23I was in a very
37:24successful sitcom
37:25with Will Mellor,
37:26who was on earlier,
37:27who was my co-star,
37:29and back in the day,
37:30this woman recognised me,
37:31she got really,
37:32really excited,
37:32and she was like,
37:33oh, oh,
37:34do you mind if I call my mate?
37:35I was like, yeah, sure.
37:36She called her mate,
37:36she was like,
37:37Joanne, Joanne,
37:37you won't believe
37:38who I'm stood next to.
37:39Oh, it's that lad
37:41from Two Pints.
37:42No, no,
37:43not the fit one,
37:44the other one.
37:45LAUGHTER
37:50That's all you need
37:50to know about me.
37:54I'm 45,
37:55got little kids,
37:56and a lot of people
37:58are dads at my age.
37:59A lot of people
38:00are granddads at my age.
38:02In certain parts of Glasgow,
38:04a lot of people
38:04are great granddads,
38:05aren't they?
38:09LAUGHTER
38:10LAUGHTER
38:12LAUGHTER
38:12LAUGHTER
38:13LAUGHTER
38:13I wasn't sure
38:13about that one thing,
38:14I fucked about that one.
38:16LAUGHTER
38:17Show of hands,
38:17any parents out there?
38:18Any parents?
38:20Oh, bless you,
38:21look at that.
38:22It felt like a really good idea,
38:23didn't it,
38:23at the time?
38:24Hey?
38:25Oh, in the moment,
38:25carried away during sex,
38:27you're like,
38:27oh, yeah, great.
38:28Now you live with those
38:29consequences for the rest
38:30of your lives.
38:32Like the worst STD
38:33in the world,
38:34that's what a child is.
38:36LAUGHTER
38:37LAUGHTER
38:38Cos you a fucking fortune,
38:40make you anxious,
38:40and if you ever split up
38:42and have to meet someone new,
38:43you have to disclose it
38:44straight out of the gate.
38:45There's worse than herpes,
38:46that.
38:47LAUGHTER
38:49Except,
38:50if you try and use pills
38:50to get rid of it,
38:51that's frowned upon.
38:53LAUGHTER
38:55APPLAUSE
38:57APPLAUSE
38:58APPLAUSE
38:58LAUGHTER
38:59APPLAUSE
39:00LAUGHTER
39:01I'm not making any of this up,
39:02this is like fucking therapy.
39:03Thank you so much.
39:05LAUGHTER
39:07When I was nine...
39:09When I was nine, I...
39:10LAUGHTER
39:12LAUGHTER
39:13LAUGHTER
39:15Um...
39:16My sister died when she was 14
39:17because she fell off a cliff.
39:19It made me learn from an early age
39:21that you have to try and laugh through
39:22sort of anything.
39:24Um...
39:24But I don't think generational trauma
39:26is necessarily a good foundation
39:28for fatherhood.
39:28But that said,
39:30my other sister,
39:32who survived,
39:33we call her the Spare.
39:36Um...
39:38LAUGHTER
39:38LAUGHTER
39:40LAUGHTER
39:43We call her the Spare.
39:44She has two kids
39:46and they're all right.
39:48My brother,
39:49he doesn't have that trauma
39:51because he was born
39:52a year after
39:53my sister fell.
39:55Uh...
39:56We call him the replacement.
39:58LAUGHTER
40:00LAUGHTER
40:01And he...
40:02He said to me,
40:04what was she like, Ralph?
40:06What was Kerry like?
40:08And I thought about it
40:09for a long time.
40:10And I was like...
40:14If I had to sum her up
40:15in one word,
40:16I'd say, um...
40:19Clumsy.
40:20LAUGHTER
40:38So maybe,
40:39just maybe,
40:40I'm not the most suitable
40:42material to be a dad.
40:44Thank you.
40:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:57How are you feeling?
41:00Fucking dead.
41:00Feeling so detailed
41:01with Mr Ralph Leto!
41:03You all right?
41:03Yeah, it was great.
41:05It was great.
41:05Well done.
41:06That was amazing.
41:07Fucking, you're dark, mate.
41:09You know what?
41:09I told you!
41:10I told you all my shit was dark.
41:12I feel like I need to sleep
41:13for about ten days,
41:14but it's been amazing.
41:16How do you feel?
41:18Fantastic.
41:19You got three applause breaks?
41:21No.
41:22Three applause breaks?
41:23Right for your first ever five minutes?
41:25Ah, I'm so tough for you, pal.
41:27Thanks for all your help.
41:28It was so great.
41:29Oh, lads, it was great fun.
41:31I don't know what's next.
41:32I just want to keep challenging myself
41:34and trying to get that feeling
41:36that I got tonight.
41:38It was just an unbelievable feeling.
41:41I question myself a lot.
41:43I'm always overthinking,
41:45and I want to try and stop that.
41:47I want to just accept that I'm all right.
41:50I think doing things like this
41:51is good for me.
41:53I just want to be all right
41:54and just go,
41:55do a decent job,
41:57pat yourself on the back
41:57and sleep well.
41:58Stop stressing.
42:02I've been so terrified about stand-up
42:04and yet I did it
42:05and it was great
42:05and all of my worst fears
42:07didn't happen.
42:09Can you draw that same parallel
42:11with fatherhood?
42:12I get it.
42:14I get it.
42:18Filming this bit with Will,
42:20not just the stand-up,
42:21but the, you know,
42:23the trapeze and the...
42:25Um, just all the fear stuff.
42:30Been a lot.
42:33So...
42:34I don't know.
42:35If I could do stand-up,
42:36which is legit the scariest thing
42:37I've ever done,
42:38then maybe...
42:41Maybe.
42:53What a song.
42:55Yeah?
42:56It's perfect.
42:57There's a voice
42:58that keeps on calling me
43:01Down the road
43:03That's where I'll always be
43:05And every stop I make
43:08I make a new friend
43:10Can't stay for long
43:12Just turn around
43:13And I'm gone again
43:14Maybe tomorrow
43:16I'll wanna settle down
43:19Until tomorrow
43:21I'll just keep moving on
43:23Down this road
43:25That never seems to end
43:28A new adventure
43:30A new adventure
43:31Lives just around the bend
43:32So if you wanna join me
43:35For a while
43:36Just grab your hat
43:39We'll travel like
43:40That's homo star
43:41Baby tomorrow
43:43I wanna settle down
43:46Until tomorrow
43:48L 의.....
43:49су quackpo
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