- 7 weeks ago
Will and Ralf Should Know Better (2024) Season 2 Episode 5
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:07you need to pedal pedaling my ass off I'm surprised at you I thought you'd be
00:12fitter than this I just don't like it full gas big push big push have you seen me
00:19you this is will this is terrifying and this is Ralph I feel like a powerful badass we've
00:36been mates for 20 odd years now let's have a snuggle we might look like middle-aged
00:42blokes yeah this is great fun but really you're just a pair of massive noisy kids
00:53where have you got that cake from so what will it take for us to grow up embrace
00:59modern life should have gone for some subtle nails like mine and become better
01:04let it one with father survivor maturer men look at these times there's something
01:10wrong with these
01:26yes we are young we were green you know see party nice and clean I do see our
01:33friends see the sights we all right when you do like I don't clean
01:44do I still have dreams sometimes I'm late for school have you ever had them
01:48when you know are you getting going to you go to school and you're naked no I still
01:52could that shows you still mentally scarred mentally scarred why do you still
01:56have dreams I'm being at school are you like your age in your dream no no school
02:01tomorrow then wake up and go yes I'm 49 I haven't got school
02:13I feel like when you get older when you get to be an adult the stuff that you just
02:16used to just have the unbridled fun of just playing and doing stuff that you
02:20used to do as a kid you just stopped doing but but why who actually makes these
02:25rules to go you're too old to do that now people don't find farts funny oh come
02:30on man like come on disgusting it's like they're there they're there to be funny
02:35sound like that they weren't supposed to be funny you know I'm saying they smell
02:40bad so deaf people can appreciate them so then they've got a use when I was
02:56younger I used to love after eights this one day walk into the little shop at
03:01lunchtime saw a fiver on the floor and a fiver when I was 12 or 13 was like oh yeah
03:06put me foot on it look round picked it up you know what I did bought myself a
03:11full box of after eight oh my god the luxury just for me a luxury just for me
03:16tell anyone though I told no one I hid him in my room and every time I thought I
03:20would just go back and just squirrel three or four down no hi three or four
03:23well yeah but that would have been too much yeah but I didn't want him to I
03:25didn't want her to run out so he kept going back it was magical I used to eat
03:29sugar sandwiches crisp sandwiches anything I could get away with my parents
03:32exactly and then you're an adult no one can tell you not to but right don't
03:36today we're gonna be doing something that's a bit like that I'm gonna take
03:41you to a place where you can eat as much as you want right and not only that
03:46they encourage you to try and eat more what's the idea of this to sort of be
03:51like the joy and playfulness of when we were kids and the dreams that we had
03:56and this and the kind of excitement of that kind of thing can we sort of
03:59recapture that yeah yeah let's just go and see you know I mean and and also
04:03then I've got a child that still lives in me night so let's go and see if he
04:07wants to eat a load of stuff I don't know it's like a challenge I suppose I
04:14don't feel very up for this one the fact I've seen you have to force yourself to
04:19eat just so you could try and put on weight because you burn that many
04:22calories hey honestly it's ridiculous I'm naturally built like a greyhound we've
04:30come to polo bar in central London established in 1959 it's a 24 hour cafe
04:36whose speciality is competitive eating challenges it's frequented by some of the
04:42UK's best competitive eaters and hosted by maitre d Valerie what sort of
04:48challenges you do we do a pancake challenge just eat as much as you can or
04:53is it the speed if you can do it in under 15 minutes then we give the pancakes free of
04:58charge and a bottle of Prosecco well you do know I like things for free you like
05:03these for free what is the record four minutes and four seconds how many
05:07pancakes I'm not going to tell you with the challenge laid down it was time for
05:15the kitchen to bring out the pancakes oh no oh no look how much cream's there who's eating mine for
05:23you are joking me
05:29who's eaten that in four minutes I thought it'd be like four or five pancakes where do you even start
05:35oh my god I don't I don't want to do it will ready to go the timer's on good luck
05:42our 15 minute countdown
05:44starts now let's get involved what what's he doing I'm gonna take one off and just daintily
05:56oh god it's dense it's my cake I'm gonna have one pancake at a time
06:07how has someone done this in four minutes oh god I'm struggling already I really am
06:16it's dry isn't it it's dry I'm changing technique what are you doing now Ralph
06:23oh that didn't work did it ice and sugar went up my nose
06:30he's got me disqualified he's spitting it out
06:32ice and sugar went right
06:46I've gone too quick
06:49all the fruit club is on too yeah I was worried about the fruit because I'm definitely going to
06:53finish a pancake she'd be
06:58remember when you were dreaming of this as a kid
07:00them days ago
07:04you might be doing the actions but there's nothing on that spoon
07:09this is awful
07:16it was time for one final push
07:19keep going you're nearly there push to the end
07:22well yeah I will yeah
07:23get all that cream in your job
07:24just fucking carve a bit off and then hide it around the back
07:37it's the cream it's making me
07:40don't fall
07:42don't tell me
07:56I'll stop it
07:58oh no we didn't do it
08:00oh fuck we nearly made it you didn't finish the fruit
08:03I was so close
08:04oh Valerie this this is awful
08:06you tried it was a reasonable attempt
08:10Valerie that's awful Valerie Valerie that's not nice at all
08:13I did more than I thought I would
08:28look at that
08:30that wasn't fun at all
08:38I feel sick
08:38my stomach is so awful
08:42there's something bubbling up and I don't know which way it's going to come out
08:45both
08:45top or bottom it could be both
08:48I don't think
08:49just in equilibrium
08:49I don't think this is something Imodium can fix
08:51I don't think I've got the pills to stop this happening
08:55what's going to happen
08:55I don't think I don't think I don't think I've got the pills to stop this happening
09:06oh my lord
09:07you set your plea
09:12when I'm waiting for it
09:29I pulled me neck then, dancing like that.
09:31Did you really?
09:31Yeah, pulled on me bleeding neck.
09:33You have?
09:34I can't even have a car party anymore.
09:37Shite!
09:41I think it's very easy to go, wasn't childhood fantastic?
09:44Wasn't it great?
09:44Wasn't it great?
09:44And look at it kind of with, like, rose-tinted glasses?
09:47Yeah, school wasn't great.
09:48I wasn't fine as well.
09:49Well, that's my point.
09:50Like, childhood was...
09:52I felt, like, a lot of pressure to kind of succeed and do well and stuff.
09:55And I think a lot of that was about school.
09:58And I know that you struggled with school.
10:00I just didn't have a good attention span, and I wanted to make everyone laugh.
10:03So teachers didn't like me, and I didn't like them,
10:05because, you know, they sort of give up on me
10:08and told me I'd be shit and whatever else.
10:10And that's why I have no confidence in it now, if I'm writing or anything,
10:13because...
10:14Well, you don't, do you?
10:15I've heard you say many a time over the years,
10:18all that thick as fuck me, I just said,
10:20It's like, you're not, though, are you?
10:21No, I'm not.
10:22I'm not thick.
10:22No, fuck, you're not.
10:22I just don't like certain things, like...
10:25To sit there and write things out, even read things,
10:29there's something that switches off, and it's because of school.
10:31And I think it's because I lost my confidence.
10:35The idea today, my friend,
10:38is to sort of see if we can confront some of those ghosts of the past
10:42and those barriers that are in our heads,
10:44just kind of maybe reclaim some of that and take it forward.
10:49So, we're going back to school.
10:51What, we're going to sit with kids?
10:52Yeah.
10:53Where's the lesson?
10:53Mm-hmm.
10:54And do what?
10:55Um, creative writing.
10:56Absolutely.
10:58I'm serious.
11:00Honestly, my stomach just went,
11:01Oh, no.
11:04School's out.
11:07Forever.
11:14We've come to the Charter School North Dulwich
11:17to join Year 10 drama students
11:19taking part in a creative writing class
11:21run by author Dr Ashley Hickson-Lovenz.
11:24He runs specialist workshops
11:26designed to get even the most reluctant of pupils writing.
11:30Hello.
11:31Hello.
11:31How's it, guys?
11:32Hiya.
11:33Will.
11:34Ralph.
11:34All right.
11:35Oh, wow.
11:40You've got to put your jumper on.
11:42Oh, hiya.
11:43Got to be part of it.
11:44What's it like having two extremely old men
11:47come and sit in your classroom?
11:48Is it a bit weird?
11:49A little bit confusing.
11:50Yeah, yeah.
11:51Meeting the kids was a strange one
11:53because I think,
11:54I don't know what Will thought,
11:56but I was, like, strangely nervous.
11:59Are you a Liverpool fan?
12:00Yeah.
12:02Well, I'm next to a Liverpool fan, are you?
12:04Oh, you've had a mare.
12:05I've had a nightmare.
12:06What did you say for?
12:07Man United.
12:08Because I'm a United fan,
12:09and you just won the league,
12:09I'm going to be getting stick all day.
12:11Yeah.
12:11They've got a Liverpool penalty case, look.
12:14That's class.
12:16Seriously, mate.
12:17It's what man meant, that.
12:18It was interesting today.
12:21Seeing 14-year-old lads
12:23and looking at them,
12:24remembering what I was like at that age,
12:27girls are quite important when you're your age.
12:29Did you get any?
12:29No.
12:30Girls?
12:31No.
12:32That's the important question.
12:34What about getting your mates to go and tell a girl
12:36that you fancied her?
12:37Do you still do that?
12:38That's, like, primary school stuff.
12:40Primary school?
12:41Oh, really?
12:41This is interesting.
12:43Okay.
12:43That was my teenage years.
12:45So what happens now?
12:46What happens now?
12:47I should try myself and then I fail him.
12:50He's nodding.
12:51I feel like we need to talk to the expert here.
12:53He's got a game.
12:54Go on.
12:55What's up, mate?
12:55What is it?
12:56What's the levels?
12:57No, you just find someone,
12:58you just start talking to them
13:00and then we'll just see what happens from there.
13:02What happens if they're, like,
13:03oh, you've misread this?
13:05It's just raps.
13:08I still think I'm like one of the kids,
13:10but I have to remind myself,
13:12you're 49, mate,
13:13and you're walking in trying to be one of the lads.
13:15Hey, what's the girls like?
13:18Shut up, mate.
13:18Leave it.
13:21Yes, yes, boys.
13:22How are we doing?
13:23You okay?
13:26You good?
13:26Hello, hello, hello.
13:28We used to stand up
13:30when the teacher come out.
13:31What school did you go to?
13:33One that showed respect.
13:34All right.
13:35When the teacher walked in,
13:36it suddenly took me right back to being a kid
13:39and just going,
13:40oh, no.
13:42No, we've got to listen
13:43and I'm not good at that.
13:45Boys, it's a real honour,
13:46a real pleasure to be here with you guys this afternoon.
13:49My name's Ashley Hickson-Lovance.
13:50I'm a poet,
13:51I'm a writer,
13:52I'm a former teacher
13:52and I just want to get you guys writing, okay?
13:55I'm a real believer that creative writing,
13:57lived experience is really important
13:59when telling really engaging stories.
14:01When you say writing,
14:03that's like writing on writing.
14:05Yeah, I mean, like...
14:06No, because I just don't like writing.
14:09Do you know the problem I've had with writing all my life
14:11is I mix up my capitals with me joined up?
14:14Don't worry about that.
14:15Yeah, babe.
14:15You do your own thing.
14:16You do your own thing, right?
14:17The great thing about creative writing
14:18is that you make your own rules.
14:20Right.
14:20So don't worry too much about spelling,
14:23grammar, behaviour.
14:24Sound good?
14:25Yeah.
14:26Got a pen?
14:27Have I got a pen?
14:28Yeah.
14:28No.
14:29Typical.
14:30Right, I need three volunteers.
14:32I need three volunteers to do a little free write.
14:34Shane, I want you to launch that die at me.
14:36Oh!
14:37It says a man.
14:39So, on the very top of your notebook,
14:41I want you to put this down.
14:42Launch it.
14:43Oh!
14:44A man is angry.
14:46OK, I want you to start thinking already.
14:48Who is this man?
14:50Decent.
14:51OK, a man is angry on an island.
14:54We're going to do this activity in pairs.
14:56We're going to write for six minutes.
14:59Mate, I'm sorry.
15:00You've got me in.
15:01I'm the worst person.
15:02You need to help me out here, mate.
15:03Seriously.
15:04Well, I've got dyslexia.
15:05Who is this man?
15:05So have I.
15:07You're older.
15:08I've got dyslexia.
15:09OK.
15:10Well, this is going to be good, innit?
15:13It's good.
15:14Yeah.
15:15A man...
15:16A man called Jeremy is angry.
15:20Why is he angry?
15:21Because he's a Man U fan.
15:22OK.
15:23He's photo everything.
15:24I like the sun between his toes and the breeze and the smell of the sea.
15:28He's been on a beach before, right?
15:30What do you think?
15:31All right.
15:31I was next to the lad, Will.
15:33He was good as gold.
15:34He was really intelligent, articulate.
15:36Will's trying to take everything seriously.
15:38Actors are going, Man United are rubbish.
15:41I just want to see his writing.
15:42Yeah, with the capitals.
15:44I'm concentrating.
15:46I've not seen this in a long time.
15:47No, I'm concentrating.
15:48When I concentrate, look there.
15:50Capital G for Jeff.
15:51Oh, that's correct.
15:52With a man.
15:53With two capital F.
15:54Capital F.
15:55I told you.
15:59You want me to write it?
16:01A bit late now.
16:01All right, good.
16:03Finish off that line you were working on.
16:05From then on, he survived being a long-life Liverpool fan.
16:08And they won the league.
16:10Superb.
16:11Gentlemen, you did fantastically there.
16:13It's just a free write.
16:14Just to get us warmed up.
16:16It was a blank notebook before.
16:18And these guys are smashed.
16:19They're on two pages now.
16:20Two pages of absolute waffle.
16:22That's just to get us warmed up.
16:24We're now going to move on to our next writing activities.
16:27I Come From is a very popular form of list poetry.
16:30Food is a great place to start.
16:33I come from jerk chicken.
16:35I come from Morley's.
16:36Morley's is the best?
16:37Is that Morley's is the best chicken shop?
16:39Chicken shops.
16:40Just all of them.
16:40All of them.
16:41I want the food, drink.
16:43I want TV shows that you grew up with.
16:45But then I want deep lines like this.
16:47I come from heartbreak.
16:48I come from love.
16:49I come from a family of grafters.
16:51I'm going to put some music on.
16:53What do we do?
16:54Not that hard.
16:55It takes a while for my brain to kick in to what I'm going to write.
16:59I can't just write.
17:00It has to be right for me to write something that's weird and my brain works.
17:06I wrote nothing.
17:07Once I start, I'm fine.
17:08Whereabouts?
17:08Where's your ends?
17:09Where were you raised?
17:12Council Estate in Stockport.
17:14Okay, that's a great start.
17:15What was the name of the council estate?
17:17Well, girl, I moved.
17:18What the first one?
17:19I come from, be as specific as possible.
17:21Tell me the name of the estate.
17:23Yeah?
17:23Well, Shakespeare Road was where I was born.
17:26Perfect.
17:27I come from being born in Shakespeare Road.
17:29I come from a council estate.
17:31Okay, yeah, okay.
17:32I'm all right.
17:32All right, sweet.
17:33You're smashing it.
17:34Trust me.
17:36Every little detail counts.
17:38My brain just goes too fast.
17:40Then I write something that's not even supposed to be there.
17:43Fantastic.
17:43Right, let me get your pens, get your pens for me.
17:46Put it in front of you like that.
17:47Get your pens, put it in front of you like that.
17:48Good.
17:48Decent, decent, decent.
17:49And when I say three, two, one, you're going to mic drop it onto the table.
17:52Three, two, one.
17:53I love that sound.
17:55Superb.
17:56Superb.
17:56I'm looking for some volunteers to just read a little bit.
18:00Round of applause for Will, please.
18:01Woo!
18:03What's it called, my guy?
18:04I come from...
18:05Decent.
18:06Oh, man.
18:07Sweet.
18:08I come from a place which I could dream.
18:10Friends down the road I always want to meet.
18:12Bunty, the shopkeeper, letting me off that one pee.
18:15Fritz down in Catford, the guy you would always see.
18:17I come from chalk ices, 25p ice cream.
18:20I come from bangers and mash, pasta and noodles.
18:23I come from one parent egging me on.
18:26I come from my brothers, sharing those chalk ices.
18:29Now they're 90p.
18:31I come from that thick smell on the tube, northern line.
18:33I loved it.
18:34I come from everywhere I know at once.
18:36I come from not knowing where I am, but knowing where I'll be.
18:40Oh, wow.
18:43I thought some of the stuff the young lads came up with was fascinating.
18:46Would they ever talk like that amongst themselves,
18:48or have they been able to express a sentiment and a feeling
18:51that they've never really tapped into, apart from privately?
18:55I thought it was amazing, actually.
18:57Love.
18:58Yes, do this.
18:59Let's go, let's go, let's go.
19:02No pressure, mate, but these are really good.
19:05How clever is everyone here?
19:07They're all really good and expressive.
19:09It was weird going,
19:10oh, I hope the teacher likes this.
19:12I'm 45 years old.
19:14Okay.
19:16Mine's called Berry was a shithole, but I loved it.
19:21Best title so far?
19:22That's where I'm from, Berry.
19:23I come from green landscapes, beautiful but brutal,
19:28grey skies and wet misty windows.
19:30Market day every Saturday, bits of meat I didn't recognise,
19:34black puddings floating in an urn like turds in a bucket,
19:37smelling the same too.
19:39I come from turmoil, arguments, fights and silences,
19:42from dreams of escape to landing in a different world,
19:45but I also come from love and sacrifice.
19:51Thank you so much.
19:53Round of applause for my guy, Hector, please.
19:55Go on, Hector.
19:57Go on, mate.
19:57Yes, yes, Hector.
20:00I come from a family of Scoutsers.
20:02I come from a broken family.
20:04I come from hating my new supporters.
20:06I come from a family with dyslexia.
20:09I come from a rollercoaster of emotions,
20:11never knowing where I might end up.
20:13Oh, ho.
20:14Go on, mate.
20:17I put nothing about letting a film in mine.
20:20If I'd have known that, I'd give you loads.
20:22Shall we get Will up to read a little bit of his?
20:24Yeah.
20:25Yeah, go on, Will.
20:25Let's do it, let's do it.
20:28I haven't got as much as everybody else, but I'll have a go.
20:32I come from a house.
20:33Cheers!
20:35Go on, Will.
20:36You got this, my guy.
20:37You got this, you got this.
20:38Jesus.
20:39He's so nervous.
20:42You'd think, right,
20:43I've been on stages in front of thousands of people,
20:46I've been on TV all my life.
20:47But standing in front of a classroom of 14-year-olds
20:51was harder.
20:53OK!
20:54I come from a road called Shakespeare Road.
20:58I come from a place that I called home on a council estate
21:01full of characters.
21:04I come from playing hide-and-seek in the woods.
21:06I come from chippy tea on a Thursday.
21:10I come from getting clothes from a jumble sale.
21:13I come from the love of the big family.
21:15I come from seeing struggle.
21:18I come from hope for more.
21:20Oh, ho.
21:25Gorgeous.
21:26Gorgeous.
21:27Ah, you were like, I didn't do right, I didn't write marks.
21:29You've only just poured your heart out.
21:31Just standing up in front of the class
21:33has never been a good thing for me.
21:35They used to do it to embarrass me sometimes,
21:37because, do you want to come and show your work?
21:39As if to say, look how shitty he is.
21:43Knowing that I'd struggle.
21:45That's actually kind of beautiful.
21:46Is it?
21:47Yeah.
21:48Yeah, mate.
21:49I'm impressed.
21:50Cheers, thanks, mate.
21:51We're my new fag.
21:52From two wrong-uns, we make right, don't we?
21:54Yeah.
21:55Go on, lad.
21:57Does he come from a broken home?
21:59No.
22:00He's made up?
22:01Yeah.
22:05Ah, I mean, he sat next to each other, seriously.
22:10Ah, brilliant.
22:11Gentlemen, that was superb.
22:12Round of applause to everybody.
22:13Round of applause, round of applause, round of applause.
22:15Keep writing, keep writing.
22:17So proud of all of you, okay?
22:19Go enjoy the rest of your afternoons.
22:21Will and Ralph, please stay in behind.
22:24Grab some words.
22:25Sounds familiar.
22:28It was just very, sort of, safe and open and, like, no prizes, no winners, no losers.
22:37Just the very act of doing the task was the reward in itself.
22:43Bloody proud of both of you, but especially you, Will, all right?
22:46You got up there, you hated school.
22:48Look at you, you stood at the front and you read about your upbringing.
22:51Bloody well done.
22:52Thanks.
22:53And also, you didn't make me sit at the back of the class with headphones on.
22:55Like my school did.
22:57I don't know that Will's going to walk away from here and go, oh, that's great.
23:00School's great now.
23:01It would have been great.
23:03But I hope that a small part of him feels like if it had been like this for him, he
23:08might
23:08have had a different experience.
23:09Do you know, I thought you were amazing on what you did and I'm glad people like you exist
23:14so people like me don't have to exist anymore.
23:17So, the word clever gets used a lot.
23:20What is clever?
23:23I'm very good at certain things and I'm not very good at some things.
23:27So, I'd rather be the underdog, put it that way, in a situation.
23:31I'd rather people think, it's all right, he's not very clever.
23:35It's all right, he doesn't.
23:36Because they won't see me coming.
23:39Let's go.
23:39Cheers.
23:40Let's get out of here.
23:40Let's go some more football.
23:41Let's get out of school.
23:43Let's see you on the playground.
24:01Now, if I'm really honest, I'd say I probably do feel a little bit more confident now about
24:07writing.
24:08Really?
24:08Just because it made me feel like it doesn't have to be perfect.
24:12It doesn't have to be looking perfect, it's actually putting a pen on the paper.
24:16Yeah, but that's pretty amazing that you've got that thought.
24:18No, we'll see.
24:19We'll go see.
24:21If you were in charge of the curriculum, what would you change?
24:23What would you change?
24:24Yeah, or what do you think is important?
24:25Do you know what I think they should teach?
24:27What?
24:27Mortgages.
24:28About how to understand mortgages.
24:30I could not agree more.
24:32I didn't have a clue.
24:34Mortgages.
24:34Do you know what they should teach?
24:35What?
24:36Do you know what they should teach?
24:36How to make a fucking bed.
24:39Will, I can't do it.
24:40That's what the army's for.
24:41I can't.
24:42You can't make a bed.
24:42I can't do it.
24:43You don't make your bed in the morning.
24:45I try, but I can't do it.
24:47Well, some of you don't have plausible thumbs.
24:49No, look.
24:50How could you not grab a sheet and pull it over the covers?
24:52First of all, I'd like to know what you think a plausible thumb is.
24:55Well, one that you can use to grab a sheet and pull it over the bits in bed.
24:58It's not hard.
24:59I think you mean opposable.
25:01I suppose I meant it.
25:02I don't think plausible is remotely what you meant.
25:05I think both of my thumbs are entirely plausible.
25:07I don't think there's any reason to suggest they might be false or made up.
25:12They should teach.
25:13Hey, look at my plausible thumb.
25:14They should teach in school what plausible means.
25:30OK, this is a good day today.
25:32I'm taking you to Cheddar Gorge.
25:35OK.
25:35To meet a guy called Luke.
25:36Luke, this guy, cycled from Bristol to Beijing.
25:43Why?
25:44Some of you have always dreamt to go in there.
25:46So he's really inspirational, you know what I mean?
25:49I mean, someone's kicked him into life and he's gone, I want to do that.
25:53Also, he's going to pull us through our paces, right?
25:56See how we get on.
25:57Do you like cycling?
25:58I don't love cycling like I don't love swimming.
26:01Like, as long as it's not too hard.
26:04In 2020, Luke Grenfell Shaw fulfilled his childhood dream
26:08of cycling from Bristol to Beijing.
26:11Now a professional athlete and motivational speaker,
26:14today he is motivating us up the famous Cheddar Gorge,
26:18a popular five-kilometre cycling route with inclines of up to 16%.
26:22It is featured as a leg in the Tour de Britain.
26:27Luke!
26:28All right.
26:29What's up, mate?
26:31How you doing?
26:32Yes, it's Ralph.
26:33Hi, mate.
26:33Hey, how you doing?
26:34First question's first.
26:35How did you get past putting this gear on?
26:37I've only had it on three minutes.
26:39It feels like a wetsuit.
26:40It's awful.
26:41And I've got, like, a tenor lady thing under here.
26:43Like, is that for saddle?
26:44Well, yeah, that's meant to be for the saddle,
26:46but it's meant to actually kind of, like, make things more comfortable.
26:48But I like the colours and it sort of, you know, it goes with this.
26:51Yeah.
26:52So, you know, that's quite nice.
26:53Did I think I look good in this?
26:55No, I don't think I look good.
26:56It doesn't hide anything.
26:59It's literally like I'm wearing a Johnny.
27:01I can see a tandem bike, so we're cycling together.
27:04Oh, behave.
27:05So, I did my cycle from Bristol to Beijing on a tandem.
27:08I think it's harder riding a tandem.
27:10Really?
27:10It's harder.
27:11It's harder.
27:11Why?
27:12Surely four legs are better than two.
27:13Shogging's half is difficult.
27:14You've got double the weight.
27:15It might be, like, 25% easier, but if you don't, like, pedal together and if the balance starts
27:22going and you wobble from side to side on the road...
27:25Does it matter who's at the front or the back?
27:27Does it matter?
27:28Is that between us?
27:28Well, who's the control freak?
27:31I'll go at the front.
27:32Yeah, yeah.
27:33Let's see how we go on.
27:33And if it's not working, if you drop any bombs, we're swapping.
27:37Wait, do we have to set off at the same time?
27:39Yeah, and then basically what I would do is say, like, three, two, one, go.
27:43Why is it going to the left?
27:44Because I'm holding it here to the left.
27:45Yeah.
27:46Because our left leg is on the floor.
27:48I'm on the floor.
27:49Right, well, keep going.
27:50Stop trying to do this.
27:51It's awkward.
27:56There we go.
27:59How's that?
27:59How's my arse?
28:00Get it out of me face.
28:02Look at that.
28:03Look at that little arch that I've got going on there.
28:05No, no, I need to steer.
28:06I can't have this.
28:07I can't have you getting too tall.
28:08Stop trying to steer.
28:08It's awful.
28:09What happens if I do this?
28:10Ralph, fuck off.
28:11Seriously, it's awful.
28:14You're doing quite a good job.
28:15I don't know why Ralph was up front.
28:18I honestly don't know.
28:19I think Ralph looked at the lesser of two evils and thought,
28:23at least I'm not looking at Will's arse.
28:26That's all I've got.
28:28That shitty ring thing.
28:29I've got to tell you, are you knackered?
28:32Let it roll for a bit.
28:33We're going to attempt to stop.
28:35Here we go.
28:35How do we do this?
28:36Stop and then put your left leg down.
28:38There you go.
28:40Perfect.
28:41Right.
28:41Natural.
28:42Already, me knackers are killing.
28:44I've never ridden a tandem before.
28:45I've only seen them in passing.
28:48It was heavy, clunky, cumbersome, and flat on its feet.
28:59Just like Will.
29:00What's it like on the front?
29:01I don't love being on the front.
29:02Do you want to try it?
29:03Try being on the front.
29:04I'll be going on the front.
29:08Right.
29:08You ready?
29:09Yeah.
29:09You count me off.
29:10Three.
29:10Three, two, one, go.
29:13That is the smoothest ride I've ever seen a tandem go.
29:17Oh, are they?
29:18No, it's been up front.
29:20It is weird being up back.
29:22He's honestly not realised yet.
29:24He was halfway around the car park before he actually realised.
29:27Shuntering away to himself.
29:29Ralph.
29:30He's talking to me.
29:31Ralph.
29:33You fucking idiot.
29:34You're not even on it.
29:36I've been talking to you.
29:37You're trying to squeeze a fart out and everything.
29:40It's not easy to get off on your own, I'll tell you that.
29:43After two laps of the car park, it was time to take on Cheddar Gorge.
29:48So you've just got a little short ride up here.
29:50Nice little short climb.
29:52It'll be lovely.
29:53Let's go.
29:54Go.
29:54Go on, Ralph.
29:55Arrgh.
29:59Are you even pedalling?
30:00Yes, I am, dickhead.
30:01I'm pedalling.
30:07I'm not going to lie to you, Luke.
30:08I'm knackered already.
30:09We're almost there.
30:10You're a lying bastard, Luke.
30:13Oh, you're out of the sand.
30:15Will, get up.
30:16No, I'm just keeping it straight.
30:18That's all you said.
30:18Keep it straight.
30:19I said sit in the middle.
30:21I am sat in the middle.
30:22Okay, well then stand in the middle when we have to get up.
30:24You know, the communication was a bit off in the beginning.
30:27It was just hard.
30:28It was hot.
30:29It was uphill.
30:30And tandem doesn't make it easier because there's two of you on it.
30:34I'm looking at a lot of hill.
30:38And I'm not liking it.
30:39Who goes up fucking hill?
30:42Stay in the middle.
30:43You're wobbling.
30:44Look at these two old people going past us.
30:46They're electric, you cheating cats.
30:48They're on electric bikes.
30:49I let them know.
30:50You're on electric bikes.
30:51Thank you, ladies.
30:53My arse is killing me.
30:55This is good teamwork, to be fair, guys.
30:57That's good, Ralph.
30:58You just started pedalling, then.
31:00I've been carrying the weight.
31:01You ball bag.
31:04You've been not pedalling.
31:06You have not been pedalling.
31:07Of course I've been pedalling your taps.
31:19I'm pulling over here, Will.
31:20Are you?
31:21Yep.
31:22Right.
31:22Ralph's pulling over.
31:28Different fitness to football, isn't it?
31:31I'm surprised at you.
31:33I thought you'd be fitter than this.
31:34I just don't like it.
31:36It's not that I can't do it.
31:38I just don't want to.
31:39It's rubbish.
31:41It's the worst thing I've ever done in my life.
31:43You know, I've been through some stuff, but on my deathbed, that will be the saddest thing
31:48that ever happened to me.
31:49Yes, we had a little stop for a little rest.
31:52It was, er...
31:54It wasn't...
31:54Listen, it's not a high point.
31:56I love negative, Ralph.
31:58It's usually me.
32:00Not being funny, but I had one guy who was 17, who hadn't ridden a bike in three years,
32:05and he did last longer than...
32:07What, on the tandem?
32:08On the tandem.
32:11Were you a little bit tired?
32:14No, it was the fucking morning I slept like a baby last night.
32:18It's about being tired.
32:19It's about being shite.
32:21We've got to accomplish it.
32:22No, we don't.
32:23He drove to Beijing from Bristol.
32:26I know, but he's nuts.
32:29You ready?
32:30Three, two, one, go.
32:33Yep.
32:34Great, Ralph.
32:35Well done.
32:35Well done.
32:35Very good.
32:37Cool gas.
32:40Big push.
32:41Big push.
32:42Have you seen me?
32:43The incline was like that.
32:45You can do that, guys.
32:46You can do anything.
32:47You're almost there.
32:48I'm not all good.
32:50I'll have to stop.
32:57It's made me really, really think about what my brain is like.
33:00If it's explosive, or there's a game to it, or there's a puzzle to solve, or whatever,
33:04I'm in, I'll just keep going, I'll still do this.
33:06But just the incessant grind of just going, keep pedaling, keep pedaling, keep pedaling.
33:13Why?
33:13Because eventually we'll get there.
33:14When?
33:25I just don't see the point.
33:30Listen, the whole point about Hill is, once you go up, sure, you've got to go back down.
33:36That's what I'm hoping.
33:37Ralph, he's like a child who spits his dummy out.
33:40It's hard to convince him everything's all right.
33:42Three, two, one, go.
33:46But we got there in the end, we found his dummy, put it back in, and away we went.
33:49The demon's speed.
33:54Come on.
33:56Come on.
33:57Making awesome progress here.
33:59Good stuff.
34:00You guys are working well together now.
34:02It's really good.
34:03Next time can make it easier and have square wheels.
34:05There were a couple of times on that last leg where I suddenly felt like just a little bit
34:10of power come through the pedals, like a little surge through the pedals, because Willard
34:13increased his pedaling.
34:14And so once we kind of got into more sync, it was a lot better.
34:18One more corner to go.
34:20Yes, Ralph.
34:21It does beg the question, what was he doing before?
34:24Slay those demons.
34:28Can we pull in there?
34:29Yeah, I think just up ahead.
34:31To the right.
34:31Just on the right side.
34:33We finally made it to the finish line.
34:35Nice.
34:39But Luke had one more hill for us to climb.
34:42What's up there?
34:43It's a good view.
34:44That's why we've come all this way.
34:46Obviously, I love a view.
34:48Well, thank you for that.
34:49That feels much better.
34:49Tandem walking.
34:50I found the new skill.
34:51Oh, look at that.
34:52Oh, it's so much better.
34:54And suddenly it's like, ah, that's what we're here for.
34:59Sometimes it takes a bit of effort to get something as beautiful as that, so it was worth it.
35:08Oh, you've killed Ralph.
35:10He's out, isn't he?
35:11I've been trying to do that for about 25 years.
35:14Right, Luke.
35:15You succeeded.
35:16I'm not being funny.
35:17Why do you do this?
35:18For me, I think there's a big feeling of, like, kind of freedom on the bike and kind of just,
35:23like, think about stuff and enjoy the nature.
35:26There must have been a point where something's changing your mind for you to go, I enjoy cycling.
35:32Now I'm going to cycle from Bristol to Beijing.
35:35So, yeah, when I was 24, like, I just graduated from university and I was like, right, I'm about to
35:40start my job, get on the career ladder.
35:43And before I kind of went and did all of that, I was like, I'm going to have a final
35:46adventure.
35:47I'm going to go to Russia.
35:47And when I was out there, I got this, like, 18 left shoulder and eventually I went and saw a
35:56doctor.
35:57I took my top off and I turned around and the doctor said,
36:02which means, like, oh, my God.
36:05Really?
36:06Yeah.
36:07What was it?
36:07So, we didn't really know what it was, but suddenly I realized it was serious.
36:12So, 48 hours later, I was back in the UK, had a biopsy, needle sticking to my back.
36:18And then three weeks after that, went to the doctors and they said, Luke, you've got cancer.
36:25Oh, wow.
36:29But then the doctor said, Luke, it's super rare, it's super aggressive, and it's already spread to your lungs.
36:37Oh, shit.
36:39And basically, they're like, you know, this isn't really one of the treatable cancers.
36:44Like, we're going to give you some chemotherapy and that might buy you some time.
36:48How much time did they give you?
36:52Months.
36:53Jesus Christ.
36:56Wow.
36:57At 24 years old?
36:58Yeah.
36:59What did your head do at that point?
37:01It just didn't make sense, you know, like, you work hard, you get a reward, you know,
37:08like, a month beforehand, I'd just run my first ever, like, 50k race.
37:12And I was like, I'm, you know, I'm 24 years old, I'm invincible, I'm super fit.
37:18How do you even compute that?
37:20Did your mindset then go from, do I just be with my loved ones,
37:25or do I go and try and do things that I've always wanted to do?
37:30I kind of thought, well, if I've only got, you know, three months left to live,
37:35don't I want to try and make this, like, the best three months of my life?
37:39Since I was about 14 or 15, I'd had this dream of, like, cycling around the world.
37:43But I was like, I should probably do that after university.
37:47And after university, I was like, I should probably get a job.
37:49And, you know, probably after that, I'd be like, I should buy a house, family.
37:53And so literally on the day that I was diagnosed, even in that, like, hit of grief and, like,
37:59horror and, like, sadness, I was like, if I do somehow get through my treatment,
38:04I want to cycle around the world.
38:07And that's what kicked it off.
38:10The other thing that happened at the same time during my first round of chemotherapy
38:14is my brother was in the Lake District sort of doing some big kind of open game with his friends,
38:21and he ended up falling.
38:24And he died.
38:25Oh, my God.
38:27Jesus.
38:30So...
38:31Your brother died?
38:32Yeah, he died.
38:33Yeah, John died.
38:38When he told us that his brother had passed away,
38:42Ralph went really quiet at that point, and I could see that it hit him.
38:49Yeah, it was quite...
38:50It was quite a shock to me, um, when he said that.
38:54Losing his brother and his brother falling.
38:58What are the chances?
39:00I didn't want to be like, oh, yo, bro, same-sies, you know?
39:05I feel like, for me, the reason I feel it's so important to talk about John
39:08is because most of the time, people would be looking at me
39:12and the situation that I was in and saying, like,
39:15it's OK for him to go after his dream, because he's got terminal cancer.
39:20But they wouldn't apply it to themselves.
39:23Yeah.
39:23And then you just...
39:24I think about what happened to John,
39:26and anyone would have thought it would be him, like, sitting here today
39:29talking about me.
39:31So it's like, none of us know.
39:33None of us know.
39:35Me and him have both lost siblings, and it does remind you of the pain.
39:41It's indescribable.
39:43Do you think cancer made you look at life through different eyes?
39:51Cancer has been a kind of strange blessing in my life,
39:55which is very easy for me to say because I'm still alive,
39:58and for so many people, it just kills them,
39:59and it just could have killed me.
40:00Yeah.
40:02But the difference in perspective it's given me,
40:06the attitude that's just like, you know,
40:09fuck it, I'm going to go for my dreams,
40:12but I've done things that I otherwise just wouldn't have the guts to do,
40:17you know, made my own documentary about this cycle ride
40:20and writing a book, and, yeah, I'm now a professional athlete,
40:24and none of those are things that I would have dared to dream of
40:28if I hadn't gone down this very different path.
40:31Where are you now with your cancer?
40:34So, I'm still in remission,
40:37but, you know, I got diagnosed seven years ago,
40:42but we just never expected to get to this point.
40:45So for me, it was like this amazing opportunity,
40:48not just show that I could do it,
40:50but, like, show that actually lots of people with cancer
40:53can live more actively, more adventurously,
40:57more optimistically than you might think, I guess.
41:05You hear the phrase, people say,
41:07live each day as if it's your last,
41:08and it's a very trite and often trotted out phrase.
41:13But there was definitely a period for you
41:16when you were literally doing that.
41:19It feels like you've carried that ethos through
41:21into how you're now living your life.
41:24Like, the way I thought about it is, you know,
41:27like, if I was to die tomorrow,
41:29would I be happy with how I've lived today?
41:32That was the kind of question I'd ask myself.
41:34I think if I die tomorrow,
41:36would I be happy with the way I've lived today?
41:38Not would I be happy with my life,
41:40but if I die tomorrow,
41:42would I be happy with the way I live today?
41:43There's an urgency and a presence to that,
41:46which I think is possibly the greatest maxim
41:50I've ever heard by which to live a life.
41:52Yeah, I agree.
41:57Luke, it's been an absolute pleasure.
41:59Oh, thanks so much.
42:00What a man.
42:01Fantastic to meet you, mate.
42:02Hey.
42:03Come on, let's go get some cheese.
42:07Oh, my ring piece.
42:10Oh, this is lovely.
42:13This is more a bit of me.
42:21Let's just take it easy.
42:23Enjoy the view.
42:27Well, we went miles.
42:28No, we did.
42:29Uphill.
42:30I did have a kind of a moment about, like, changing my life.
42:34I have been meaning for so long to sell my bike.
42:40And finally, I am getting rid of it.
42:48Pretty amazing guy, wasn't he?
42:51Yeah, Jesus, man.
42:52Yeah, unbelievable.
42:54Do you know what I liked, though, about him?
42:56He was very, sort of, matter-of-fact about it.
43:00Do the things that you've always wanted to do.
43:02Don't wait to live your dreams and do things that are scary.
43:04100%.
43:04100%.
43:05What we do next, we have to go in,
43:08and we have to go for something proper scary.
43:10Putting ourselves right on the line.
43:14Fear.
43:18Fear.
43:23I'm moving all up now.
43:28Getting out of the darkness.
43:33My life shines on.
43:36My life shines on.
43:41My life shines on.
43:43My life shines on.
43:46All life's gone and fall.
43:49My life shines on.
43:52My life shines on.
43:52No, no, no, no, no, no.
43:55No, no, no, no.
43:57Amen.
43:57được
43:58F
Comments