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00:16Gracias por ver el video
00:47Gracias por ver el video
01:00¿Meatloaf again?
01:01We just had meatloaf two days ago
01:03I wouldn't do this, but Ice Cube would call you a bitch right now
01:06I'm sorry, I thought you liked my meatloaf
01:09Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with you guys?
01:12Susan makes dinner for four people and a bear every night
01:15And you never even say thank you
01:16You just sit there and complain
01:18Swear to God, you guys have zero appreciation for her
01:21It's okay, Blair
01:22Everyone should have what they like
01:24What do you want instead?
01:26Oh, can we do breakfast for dinner?
01:28No fucking way
01:29Why not?
01:30Eating eggs afternoon is gay
01:32What the fuck are you talking about?
01:34Think about it
01:35The gays are up all night doing stuff to each other
01:37And they miss breakfast
01:38So they invent brunch
01:40They meet up around eleven
01:41They have their fruity little drinks
01:42They talk about hairstyles and lotions and whatever the fuck
01:45And by the time they start eating their breakfast, it's afternoon
01:48That's actually a solid theory
01:50Yeah, I got no notes
01:51So the exact cutoff time for when eggs become gay is eleven a.m.
01:55Is that the theory?
01:56Yes
01:56Oh, that's why McDonald's stopped serving breakfast at eleven
01:59Right
01:59They don't want guys banging each other in the bathroom
02:01Pretty sure that happens anyway
02:03Oh, dear
02:04What?
02:05I put two eggs in the meatloaf for structure
02:07No, no, no
02:08Eggs in stuff is okay
02:10But on their own, gay
02:11I don't want to take any chances
02:14Johnny's at a very impressionable age
02:17Hey, Dad
02:18What happens if you accidentally eat an egg afternoon?
02:21You gotta chase it with a straight food
02:22Like what?
02:23Stew
02:24Oh, my God
02:25I ate an egg the night I decided I like girls
02:28See?
02:29But I only ate half
02:30That's why I go both ways
02:32Right there
02:34They couldn't get the stew in me quick enough
02:36Hey
02:37It's not your fault, Blair
02:44Yeah
02:54Teddy, look
02:56It's Sheila Borgwart
02:57Fuck, she's gotta be the hottest drug dealer on the planet
03:01Hey, you know, I just realized something
03:03What?
03:04I ain't seen her since I turned eighteen
03:05I'm an adult now
03:06An adult buy drugs
03:08That is the main thing they do, yes
03:10I, John Bennett
03:12I'm going to buy drugs from Sheila Borgwart
03:15How do I look?
03:16Doesn't matter
03:19Hey, Sheila
03:21Hey
03:22I'm John
03:23Bennett
03:24We, uh, we met last year, remember?
03:27Um, possibly
03:29My, uh
03:30My diarrhea's gone
03:33Oh
03:34Yeah
03:35It's all normal now
03:36I mean, every so often
03:38I'll get a bum taco or whatever
03:39And something will happen
03:40But for the most part
03:41I've been solid
03:43Sheila, hi
03:44Ted
03:44We've also met
03:45Listen, John here
03:46Has recently become a man
03:48Not in a sexual way, obviously
03:50But in a biological way
03:52And he would like to purchase
03:53Some marijuana from you
03:55Uh
03:57Sure
03:57How much you want?
03:58Holy shit, really?
04:00Oh man
04:01Being an adult rocks
04:02I got birthday money
04:03From Nana and Pop Pop
04:04And I want to spend it all
04:05Two hundred dollars
04:06Two hundred?
04:08Yeah
04:09Okay
04:17Here's a quarter pound
04:18Thank you
04:19Holy shit
04:23That is a Chris Tucker amount of weed
04:25That is fucking beautiful
04:26Sheila
04:28Thanks for being my first time
04:30Please don't say that
04:31I don't know why I lied to you
04:33I have had diarrhea
04:36Okay
04:36And within the hour
04:38Enjoy your buzz
04:45You will never not be a virgin
04:50I don't
04:51I don't ever think
04:53I've been this high before
04:54Do I have human feet right now?
04:57I feel like I have human feet
04:59Oh no
05:00What do human feet feel like?
05:02Oh that's a good question
05:03Let's ask someone
05:06Hey boys
05:07Mom?
05:08What are you doing here?
05:10Show me your feet
05:10It's such a beautiful day
05:12I thought instead of you kids
05:14Taking the bus
05:15We could go to the mall
05:16And I could get you
05:17Some graduation underwear
05:20Underwear
05:20It goes over your butt
05:22And maybe afterward
05:24We can go to see us
05:25And get our portraits made
05:27Show me your fucking feet
05:33So Johnny
05:34I was thinking about
05:35The kind of underwear
05:36You should get
05:37And I believe
05:38A boy's underwear
05:39Should match his father's
05:41But then I prayed about it
05:43And if you want to try
05:44Something different
05:45I think it'd be okay
05:48Fuck, you're so soft
05:51Have you always been this soft?
05:53Yeah, I'm a fucking teddy bear, dude
05:56Oh
05:57I'm a fucking teddy bear
06:00What was that?
06:01Oh my god
06:02Are we on fire?
06:04It's okay, boys
06:06It's just a policeman
06:07Fuck, we got all this weed
06:09Maybe he's not a cop
06:10Maybe he's a stripper
06:11Oh, yeah
06:12Because sometimes
06:13They dress up like cops
06:15If he says you have the right
06:16To remain sexy
06:17We're in the clear
06:36Good afternoon, ma'am
06:37Can I see your license and registration?
06:39Touch his dick
06:40And see how he reacts
06:41Oh, of course
06:43Is something wrong, officer?
06:44You aware that you left brake lights out?
06:47Oh, dear
06:49My husband usually takes care of these things
06:51But he's been having solid urines
06:54Hey, if you're a cop
06:55You have to tell us
06:56Excuse me?
06:58Yeah, I know our rights
06:59And you ain't got no right
07:00To search this car
07:01Or this pocket
07:02Or this backpack
07:03Without a warrant
07:03Well, that's not at all suspicious
07:05Yeah, well
07:06I could say the same thing about you
07:07Pulling over a Laura Biden family
07:09On their way to buy clean underwear
07:11With absolutely no drugs of any kind
07:13Anywhere in the car
07:14Or on their persons
07:15Okay, everyone step out of the car
07:17Fuck
07:27Mom, I gotta tell you something
07:29What is it, honey?
07:31I'm holding
07:33Well, try to hold it as long as you can
07:35And then I can take you to the ladies' room
07:37When we get to the mall
07:38So you can do your doodos
07:40No, Mom
07:40I have marijuana in my backpack
07:42I bought it after school
07:44What?
07:45I know, I know
07:46I'm stupid and I'm sorry
07:48Oh, Johnny
07:51You're 18 now
07:53You can get the chair
07:55What do we have here?
07:58Whose is this?
08:00It's
08:01Mine
08:03It's mine
08:04What?
08:05Yours?
08:05I am hooked on the junk, officer
08:07Mom, what are you doing?
08:09I eat it
08:09And I shoot it
08:11And I take it in all the ways
08:13And I have ever since Woodstock
08:16Which is where I learned
08:18Fucking hippies
08:20Turn around
08:23Hey, I know her rights
08:25Oh, yeah?
08:25What are they?
08:27Ah, fuck
08:33Boys, there's some emergency ziti in the freezer
08:35And a stove is in the basement
08:37Watch your head
08:53He took Mom
08:54He took our weed
08:54And he took Susan
08:57As well
09:01You can't do that to Bret Hart
09:03You big fat foreigner
09:09Where the hell you been?
09:10Where's your mother?
09:12Matty
09:14Let's talk
09:16What the fuck?
09:19Run, Johnny
09:20Stay alive
09:21No matter what happens
09:22I will find you
09:23Get the fuck back here
09:24Watch these
09:30Stupid fucking moron
09:32Bastards
09:33Hey, hey, hey
09:33What the fuck is going on here?
09:35These two dumb shits got caught with drugs
09:37And let Susan get arrested for it
09:39What?
09:40Is that true?
09:42Yeah
09:43Stupid fucking moron
09:53I'll be right back
09:55You stay here and write your confession, dipshit
09:58I can't do it
10:04Oh, why not?
10:05I'm scared, Blair
10:06I can't go to jail
10:07Oh, but you're perfectly fine with your mother going in your place
10:10I swear to God
10:11This is exactly what I was talking about last night on fucking steroids
10:14Susan does everything for this family
10:16And nobody ever does shit for her
10:17But look at this face, Blair
10:19Look at his mouth
10:20It's so youthful
10:21If he goes to prison, it's gonna be filled with dicks
10:23And how does a mouth full of dicks help Susan?
10:26Fuck you guys
10:32A mouth full of dicks?
10:33I was exaggerating for effect
10:35It'll probably just be one or two dicks
10:38But they'll be big ones, Johnny
10:41Yes, they will
10:53Hey, how you doing?
10:55Oh, I'm fine, Maddie
10:58Did Johnny tell you where to find the ziti?
11:01Don't you fucking worry
11:02Johnny's gonna confess
11:03And you'll be home by tonight
11:05No, Maddie
11:06Don't make him do that
11:08It was my choice
11:10What?
11:11Johnny's 18 now
11:13He's just starting his life
11:15This could ruin his future
11:18It could keep him from going to college
11:20It could encourage him to join a breakdance gang
11:24But they were his drugs
11:26He's gotta learn responsibility
11:27Not like this
11:30Promise me you won't make him
11:32Susan
11:36Fine
11:37Besides, it's my first offense
11:39I'm sure they'll go easy on me
11:43I sentence you to 20 years in state prison
11:47Next case
11:49Commonwealth of Massachusetts versus Susan Bennett
11:52Possession of marijuana
11:54Don, don
11:55Stop doing that
11:56It's a courtroom, Blair
11:57I have to
11:58It's the law
11:59And order
12:00Don, don
12:01Ow, fuck
12:04Don, don
12:05Mrs. Bennett
12:06You're charged with possession of marijuana
12:08How do you plead?
12:10I cannot lie, Your Honor
12:13I plead
12:15Guilty
12:15Mel
12:16Thank you for your honesty
12:18Since this is your first offense
12:20And you seem to be a nice lady
12:22I'm going to be lenient
12:24I sentence you to 10 days in the county jail
12:2710 days?
12:28Christ
12:28Court is adjourned
12:31Dun, dun
12:32Ah, I like you
12:37You
12:38You
12:38You
12:39You
12:40You
12:48You
12:49You
12:49You
13:04And you
13:11Who the fuck are you?
13:14Hi, I'm Susan Bennett.
13:17I'm your new roommate.
13:23This is a nice place you have here.
13:27What's your name?
13:28Bitch Killer.
13:29Oh, well, rhymes with Mitch Miller.
13:33The fuck?
13:34Why are you here?
13:35Oh, I did a very bad thing.
13:38Did you kill a bitch or something?
13:40Marriage, Warner.
13:41No shit.
13:43Oh, no, none at all.
13:45Why are you here?
13:47Because the fucking system's corrupt.
13:49I ain't do shit.
13:50I'm innocent.
13:51Oh, no.
13:52Have you said anything to anyone?
13:55We should let them know.
13:56God, this woman's innocent.
13:59Shut the fuck up and mind your own business.
14:01We ain't friends.
14:03We aren't friends.
14:06But I bet you a piece of cinnamon toast we will be.
14:10Are you threatening me?
14:12I am Cornholio.
14:13Come on, Beavis.
14:14Take your seat.
14:16What the fuck is going on in here?
14:19We're just watching TV.
14:21You two ain't watching shit.
14:23If your mother's in jail, you're in jail.
14:25What does that mean?
14:26It means you guys are going to clean the goddamn house.
14:29You're going to do the laundry, you're going to do the fucking dishes, and you're going to cook all the
14:33meals.
14:33So get ready for fucking hell.
14:35Isn't that just Susan's daily routine?
14:37You're goddamn right it is.
14:38And that's their punishment.
14:39So get started.
14:41Okay.
14:42Okay.
14:43We got this.
14:44It's housekeeping.
14:44How hard can it be?
14:46Yeah.
14:46Yeah, even the name sounds like a game.
14:48Housekeeping.
14:49You idiots have no idea what you're talking about.
14:52Oh, yeah?
14:53Watch this.
14:56See that?
14:57I just kept house.
14:59I'm a housekeeper.
15:00Yeah, and look at me.
15:01I'm Betty fucking Crocker.
15:02You know what?
15:03I stand corrected.
15:05You guys got this.
15:06Good luck.
15:08All right, I'm going to dust you, then you dust me.
15:10Right.
15:26May I join you ladies?
15:32I'm Susan.
15:34I'm bunking with Miss Killop.
15:36What are your names?
15:38Eat a cock.
15:39How about you?
15:41I'm FedEx.
15:42That's 69.
15:43That's Gungina.
15:45Men die if they get in my crosshairs.
15:47Oh, these are such interesting names.
15:50Why do they call you FedEx?
15:52Because I can get you anything within 24 hours.
15:55Oh.
15:55As long as it fits up my ass.
15:57Oh.
15:58What are you ladies talking about?
16:01The fucking food here.
16:02I'm going to feed this shit to my fucking dog.
16:04I knew a dog once that liked soup.
16:08Isn't that silly?
16:10He belonged to our next-door neighbors,
16:12and he was such a sweet, sweet boy,
16:15but then he attacked a toddler.
16:17and they had to put a muzzle on him.
16:19But then he chewed through that muzzle
16:20and attacked another toddler,
16:22and then the church had to move him to another area.
16:26Oh, no, wait.
16:27That was Father O'Brien.
16:3169.
16:32What does that name mean?
16:34Listen, hoe.
16:35If you talk too much around here, you get cut.
16:37So if I were you,
16:38I'd shut my motherfucking mouth.
16:47I don't understand.
16:49All this shit,
16:50and somehow all we made was one boiled egg.
16:52I don't even know if it's any good.
16:54Wait.
16:54It's afternoon.
16:55That's a gay egg.
16:57Shit.
16:58Now I'm thinking about John Stamos pushing a lawnmower shirtless.
17:01What the fuck are you idiots doing in there?
17:04Where's dinner?
17:05It's almost ready.
17:06Okay, we gotta think of something.
17:07Mom normally goes to the store on Saturday,
17:09so there ain't much here.
17:10Okay, uh, we got Slim Jims,
17:12white bread, shredded cheese,
17:13and a shit ton of condiments.
17:15I got an idea.
17:21Okay.
17:23Gourmet hot dogs.
17:27What the hell is this?
17:29What do you mean?
17:29It's dinner.
17:30This pile of shit is dinner?
17:32We call it the Frank Further.
17:34We've taken the hot dog into the radical 90s.
17:37Whoa!
17:39Surf's up!
17:41What?
17:42I ain't eating that shit.
17:44Unbelievable.
17:45We slave away in there.
17:46We make you a delicious meal.
17:47We drop it on the floor,
17:49pick it up,
17:49and rinse it off,
17:50and this is the thanks we get.
17:52You know, I knew you two would fuck this up.
17:55Fuck it.
17:55I'll go to the grocery store,
17:57and I'll do it myself.
18:01Can I get some goddamn help here?
18:06Where's the fucking dinner aisle?
18:10This box has a picture of what I want.
18:19What the fuck?
18:21This is fucking bullshit.
18:22What's going on?
18:24Surprise inspection.
18:26Motherfucker.
18:27My bunk's a mess.
18:28I'm going to get written up again
18:29and lose my watercolor privileges.
18:31Bitch killer,
18:32get in here.
18:33Shit.
18:38This is the cleanest bunk I have ever seen.
18:41What the fuck?
18:43What's that smell?
18:45It's potpourri.
18:46See, I made it with the dry flowers
18:49from the memorial for that lady
18:50who was stamped in the shower the other day.
18:52Well, it's lovely.
18:55Congratulations, bitch killer.
18:57You passed inspection for once.
19:00But I got my eye on you.
19:05You did this?
19:07Yeah.
19:08Why?
19:09Oh, I'm so used to picking up Johnny's room.
19:12It was easy.
19:14Also,
19:16I made you some slippers out of maxi pads.
19:20How'd you know my size?
19:22The slippers or the maxi pads?
19:24Good looking out.
19:25Oh,
19:26I don't know what that means.
19:37Teddy,
19:38dry as done.
19:39Richard Dawson!
19:43Teddy?
19:53Jesus Christ!
19:54Teddy,
19:55what happened?
19:56Next time you start that thing,
19:57fucking knock first.
19:58Hey!
19:59What the fuck is going on
20:00with the laundry, huh?
20:01Everything I own
20:02is too small
20:03and I can't find my underwear.
20:05Oh, yeah,
20:05we threw them out.
20:06What?
20:07Why?
20:07Because they were covered in skid marks.
20:09Well,
20:09I can't go to work
20:10without any underwear on.
20:12The guys will bust
20:12my fucking chops all day.
20:14How will they know
20:16you're not wearing underwear?
20:17Don't play dumb.
20:18Well,
20:18what do you want us to do?
20:19Go dig them out of the fucking trash
20:21and put some white out on them.
20:24Go!
20:25God damn it.
20:25we're fucking going.
20:40Hello, ladies.
20:42What the fuck
20:42are you doing back there?
20:44Well,
20:44you were saying
20:45you didn't like the food.
20:46So I talked to the warden,
20:47I made a few suggestions
20:49and she put me
20:50in charge of the kitchen.
20:52Is that meatloaf?
20:53Yeah.
20:54Would you like to try it?
20:59Oh, my God.
21:01They're fucking great.
21:02It reminds me
21:03of my mother's
21:03prison meatloaf.
21:04I used pigeon eggs
21:06and some pigeon,
21:07but I think
21:08it turned out okay.
21:10Hey!
21:11The fuck you want,
21:12half foot?
21:13Half foot?
21:15What a cute name.
21:17Is it because you're short?
21:19Not that it's any
21:19of your fucking business,
21:21but yeah.
21:21And also because
21:22I lost half my foot
21:23in a shovel fight.
21:24Oh, dear.
21:26Well, at least
21:27you don't have to
21:27trim your toenails.
21:29It's not that half
21:30of the foot.
21:30Oh.
21:31I was kitchen bitch
21:32until yesterday.
21:33You stole my fucking job.
21:35They put me down
21:35in the motherfucking laundry.
21:37Oh, I'm sorry.
21:38I didn't mean
21:39to take anyone's job.
21:40I was just trying
21:41to make the food better.
21:43Oh, so my food was shit?
21:44Is that what you're saying?
21:47You're dead meat.
21:5369.
21:55I could use a hug right now.
22:05Why the fuck do I got to
22:06know how to read?
22:07My mom couldn't read
22:08and she made bang
22:09from giving head.
22:10Oh, reading's wonderful
22:11for your head
22:12and it's not hard
22:13to learn at all.
22:15Now, I borrowed this
22:16from the jail library,
22:18the very hungry caterpillar.
22:21You think you've been naughty.
22:23Wait till you see
22:23what he gets up to.
22:25The fuck is all this shit?
22:27Oh, hi, half foot.
22:29I was just teaching
22:30Gungina how to read.
22:32Would you like me
22:33to teach you
22:33how to read too?
22:35What?
22:35First you stole my fucking job,
22:37now you calling me
22:38fucking illiterate?
22:39How would you like
22:40half a foot in your ass?
22:42Is there a problem here?
22:44No.
22:45No problem.
22:48I'll be seeing you, Susan.
22:50Okay.
22:51Bye-bye.
22:54Oh, excuse me, God?
22:56What?
22:57What are the plans
22:58for Easter?
22:59Easter?
23:00Well, it's this Sunday.
23:02I imagine the warden's
23:03providing the baskets,
23:04but who do I talk to
23:05about getting
23:06700 colored eggs?
23:07This is jail.
23:09There ain't no plans
23:10for Easter.
23:11But it's Jesus' big day.
23:13How will he know
23:14we care if we don't
23:15hide eggs?
23:16Not my problem.
23:21Oh, Gungina,
23:23that's not what
23:23those holes are for.
23:31God damn.
23:32How'd this happen so fast?
23:34Dude, this is, uh...
23:36Do you use this sock for, uh...
23:37Love making, yes.
23:39Yeah.
23:40Yeah, it usually gets washed
23:41before it gets like that.
23:44Well, guess we should
23:45change the sheets.
23:46Yeah.
23:58Anything else covered
23:59in dried cum
24:00that I should know about?
24:01So I said,
24:06oh, yeah, motherfucker?
24:07And I cut half
24:09his dick off.
24:11Which half?
24:12The left half.
24:17What are you laughing at?
24:19Is it me?
24:20Is it my body?
24:22Are you laughing at my body?
24:24Are you laughing at my body?
24:24Chill out, cracker.
24:26This ain't got nothing
24:26to do with you.
24:27What did you just call me,
24:29inmate?
24:31You looking for trouble,
24:32bitch killer?
24:33Excuse me.
24:34Can I say something?
24:35Um, I don't think you ladies
24:39understand just how difficult
24:40a job Mrs. God has.
24:43Are you taking a fucking side?
24:44Well, I saw in 60 Minutes
24:46that prison guards
24:47have a very, very hard job.
24:49They put their lives
24:51at risk every day.
24:52They only make
24:53about $24,000 a year.
24:56Plus, they have to buy
24:57their own gun,
24:57which many of them
24:58use to kill themselves.
25:00Or our spouses.
25:02They're real people
25:03just like us.
25:04Thank you, Susan.
25:06That means a lot.
25:07And I think you have
25:08a wonderful body.
25:12I need to go
25:13call my mother.
25:26Michael, are you sure
25:27you know what you're doing?
25:37Is that your wedding tux?
25:38It's the only thing
25:39that's clean.
25:41Ah, what is that
25:43a puddle of?
25:43You don't want to know.
25:44Heads up,
25:45I'm going to send down
25:46the trash.
25:52Boys.
25:54Back in NAMM,
25:56we learned when it's time
25:57to abandon your post.
25:59That time is now.
26:01Hey, hey, hey,
26:02not that way.
26:03Jesus Christ,
26:04don't go near
26:05the fucking bees nest.
26:06How are we supposed
26:07to get out?
26:07There's a beaver dam
26:08blocking the kitchen door.
26:10I'm coming to the
26:11service.
26:12I'm coming to the
26:13door.
26:15I'm coming to
26:16the glue.
26:18I'm coming to the
26:20anaer säger McCartney
26:32They're still there,
26:33college camp.
26:33They're still there.
26:33They're still there.
26:35I know.
26:35They're still there.
26:35They're still if they got
26:35going to get you
26:35home.
26:35Here they're still there.
26:36So I know
26:39they'll continue to
26:39me.
26:39They're still there.
26:50¡Suscríbete al canal!
27:22¡Suscríbete al canal!
27:54¡Suscríbete al canal!
27:57¡Suscríbete al canal!
28:16¡Suscríbete al canal!
28:27¡Suscríbete al canal!
28:30¡Suscríbete al canal!
28:43¡Suscríbete al canal!
29:03¡Suscríbete al canal!
29:09¡Suscríbete al canal!
29:27¡Suscríbete al canal!
29:33¡Suscríbete al canal!
29:55¡Suscríbete al canal!
30:02¡Suscríbete al canal!
30:05¡Suscríbete al canal!
30:25¡Suscríbete al canal!
30:34¡Suscríbete al canal!
30:39¡Suscríbete al canal!
30:41¡Suscríbete al canal!
30:54¡Suscríbete al canal!
30:57¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:11¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:14¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:17¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:19¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:21¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:23¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:25¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:27¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:29¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:32¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:36¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:39¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:41¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:43¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:44¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:45¡Suscríbete al canal!
31:46¡Suscríbete al canal!
32:16¡Gracias por ver!
32:46¡Gracias por ver!
32:58¡Gracias por ver!
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