- 14 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:28For more information, visit www.fema.gov
00:00:35Oh, my God.
00:00:41Hello?
00:00:42Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:45I mean, it's only two days away,
00:00:47and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:50So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:54Me, too.
00:00:55Um, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:58Um, I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:01:02Uh, I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:01:06You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:07What? But you can't.
00:01:10I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:14Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:15You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:19This is bad.
00:01:20You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:22She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:32Come on, Lexi.
00:01:48So, girls, what are we going to do for a birthday?
00:01:52Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:57But this is the big one-eight.
00:01:59I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital,
00:02:02we've done something new and special,
00:02:03but this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:07So, what's something we've never done before?
00:02:10Mushrooms?
00:02:11No, not like that.
00:02:13Like something nice.
00:02:15Like maybe a trip.
00:02:16Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:18No.
00:02:22Sorry, Sue.
00:02:23I have a date.
00:02:24Oh, so do I.
00:02:26Sorry, Sue.
00:02:28Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:29We'll figure it out.
00:02:42Oh, flowers, are these from you?
00:02:44Yeah, sure.
00:02:47Here you go.
00:02:49No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:52I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:55I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:03:01Oh, Jake.
00:03:06Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:03:09Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:03:11When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:03:14The best night of my life.
00:03:16It will be, I promise.
00:03:18It'll always be amazing.
00:03:20With you and me.
00:03:22Together.
00:03:31Jake, no.
00:03:32Um, I have to go.
00:03:33I have to work on my art project.
00:03:36You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective, but I guess I should have taken
00:03:40more math.
00:03:43Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:46The Saturday?
00:03:47Of course.
00:03:52Thanks.
00:03:54Okay, bye.
00:04:05Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.
00:04:08Oh, baby, you're so hot.
00:04:10I'm going to do you so good.
00:04:12Oh, yeah, baby.
00:04:13Yeah.
00:04:13What was your name again?
00:04:15Rod.
00:04:16Sex guy.
00:04:21Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:04:26Yeah, right, I bet.
00:04:34Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:38Oh, no.
00:04:39Does not compute.
00:04:41Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:47Oh, huh.
00:04:49Hi.
00:04:51When did you go home?
00:04:53So, is it true?
00:04:54Yes, it is.
00:04:56It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:05:01I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:05:08So, I just think it's the right time.
00:05:12Lexi, tell her, losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:05:17On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:05:20Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday or maybe even like our 29th, 8th, maybe.
00:05:29Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:36I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:46But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:49We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:52Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:57It's not Jake.
00:05:58It's the male ideal.
00:06:01Like, a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:06:05Right.
00:06:07Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:06:09Me and it kind of sucks.
00:06:10I'm not really an artist.
00:06:12Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:06:14The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:06:19And I'm just not ready yet.
00:06:21I'm waiting for a sign.
00:06:23And then I'll know it's right.
00:06:24Look, I can go either way.
00:06:27I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:06:32I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:35Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:39But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:45You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:52Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:55To church.
00:06:56To pray for you.
00:06:57I want to be first in line.
00:07:00I'm getting this.
00:07:02Yeah, me too.
00:07:13Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:07:15It's been four days since my last confession.
00:07:17I accused myself of the following sins.
00:07:20Mm-hmm.
00:07:22Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...
00:07:26It's about sex.
00:07:29Mm-hmm.
00:07:31I mean, not me.
00:07:32I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:07:35Oh.
00:07:37I've never even seen a guy's...
00:07:39Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:07:43But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:47But there was nothing there.
00:07:51Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:54My best friends.
00:07:56They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:58Okay.
00:08:00Third base.
00:08:02What?
00:08:03No.
00:08:04Like, sex.
00:08:05Like, intercourse.
00:08:07With boys, they barely even know.
00:08:09I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:08:11If you know what I mean.
00:08:12All the way.
00:08:13Go all the way.
00:08:16What?
00:08:17What?
00:08:21How could you do this?
00:08:24You're a bad, bad person.
00:08:26You're a bad person.
00:08:28What?
00:08:35Yes.
00:08:36Yes.
00:08:37Run.
00:08:39Run.
00:08:39Home route.
00:08:42Damn it.
00:08:45Fucking Yankees.
00:08:49Sorry.
00:08:51Sorry.
00:09:13Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:09:17Would you have a little consideration?
00:09:18I'm trying to sleep.
00:09:21Jeez.
00:09:21Can you guys please keep it down?
00:09:25I have an announcement to make.
00:09:27I want to do it.
00:09:29Do you hear me?
00:09:30I want to do it.
00:09:33This weekend.
00:09:34On our birthday.
00:09:36Do what?
00:09:38It.
00:09:39Screw.
00:09:40You know, screwing, boning, making beasts with two backs.
00:09:43You know, shagging, fucking.
00:09:48You do.
00:09:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:09:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:56Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:09:59Really?
00:10:00Well, okay, great.
00:10:03We're all in then.
00:10:05So we'll have a big pool party, and we'll do it there.
00:10:09Right?
00:10:11Right.
00:10:13I'll start making the shopping list.
00:10:24Hey, Frank.
00:10:26Hi, Sue.
00:10:28Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:10:31I don't know.
00:10:32Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:10:33Yeah, he's blind.
00:10:35Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:10:42Wait, wait.
00:10:44Hey.
00:10:45Um, I was wondering.
00:10:47We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:10:50It's for our birthday.
00:10:51Do you want to come?
00:10:52Do you think he can see at me short?
00:11:07Well, the house looks done.
00:11:10Tomorrow's the big day.
00:11:12We finally turn 18.
00:11:14And finally lose our virginity.
00:11:16Well, we better get our baby sleep, because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:11:20So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake, and I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:11:26But, Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:11:28It's a poppy chair.
00:11:29It's easy.
00:11:30I've known for the past six years, ever since catty-kism.
00:11:36What the fuck is catty-kism?
00:11:38I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:11:41Yeah.
00:11:50My soulmate.
00:11:54Chris?
00:11:55Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:12:00I mean...
00:12:01What?
00:12:02No.
00:12:02Chris is perfect.
00:12:03He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:12:07Plus, his name's Chris.
00:12:08It's a sign.
00:12:09Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:12:15What?
00:12:16He does not.
00:12:17Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:12:19He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:12:22With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:12:26Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:12:29Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:12:32Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:12:35See you in the morning.
00:12:43I knew it would happen someday.
00:12:46I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:12:51I don't know.
00:13:20You're so perfect.
00:13:22God.
00:13:52You're so perfect.
00:13:58I knew that's what I look like.
00:14:18Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:14:37Tomorrow's the day.
00:14:38Tomorrow's the day.
00:15:01Oh, my gosh.
00:15:02They're coming.
00:15:04Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:15:09Ew, why?
00:15:11It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:15:13It's going to be really sexy.
00:15:15It's unministered.
00:15:16You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:15:19It's going to be really sexy.
00:15:20It's stupid.
00:15:22Just screw him.
00:15:23That's what he wants.
00:15:24That's what all guys want.
00:15:25Who hurt you as a child?
00:15:27Oh, Christ.
00:15:28I don't have your mouth, too.
00:15:31Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy,
00:15:34not someone they can just have sex with.
00:15:36You're an idiot.
00:15:37A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:15:42Guys, seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:15:45Oh.
00:15:50Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:15:52I love it.
00:15:55You should put that down, though, because it's like, it's very fragile.
00:15:59Yeah.
00:16:00Let's put it down.
00:16:01Hurry up.
00:16:05Those are your anal beads, right?
00:16:06Yeah.
00:16:07Okay.
00:16:07Let's go.
00:16:08Hmm.
00:16:28Whoa!
00:16:29This part of the top!
00:16:30Whoa!
00:16:32Whoa!
00:16:32Hold up!
00:16:34Oh, we're going to have some fun!
00:16:35Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts, nice!
00:16:48Happy birthday, Lex!
00:16:51No, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:16:55That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:16:59And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:17:02Oh, how did you know?
00:17:04I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:17:13Buster, such a beauty.
00:17:15Please don't touch my service time.
00:17:18All right, sorry. Are you okay now?
00:17:20Yeah, I'm fine.
00:17:21Okay, see you later.
00:17:26I can't believe you haven't heard it. This is crazy.
00:17:30Jake! Hi!
00:17:32Hey, babe.
00:17:33Happy birthday.
00:17:36Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:17:39What? You want a beer?
00:17:44No.
00:17:49Oh, hon.
00:17:50Yeah.
00:17:54I have your present here. I'll give it to you later. The time's right.
00:17:59Oh.
00:18:00You didn't have to give me anything. And I have a present for you that I want you to wrap
00:18:07later.
00:18:09Hey, Rob. We need you to settle this bed over here real quick.
00:18:13Oh, a bed.
00:18:18All right, this is my man right here.
00:18:20Hey.
00:18:21How you doing?
00:18:22Hey.
00:18:32Check it out!
00:18:35Dare me?
00:18:53Oh, dude. Look at those. Are those real? I don't know.
00:18:57Have you guys seen Cheryl? Hey! I do! Move! Come on! Lame!
00:19:01Oh, all right. Okay. I'll see you guys later.
00:19:04Go!
00:19:05Go do some push-ups or something.
00:19:06Aw, the moves.
00:19:0720 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:19:11Yeah!
00:19:13They're fake anyways.
00:19:15Who cares?
00:19:16Okay.
00:19:21Oh, dude, dude.
00:19:23I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:19:28Sue, no. It's your birthday. Here, let me.
00:19:31Joanna, no. Just go enjoy the birdie.
00:19:34Come on.
00:19:36Open.
00:19:39Hey. Do my lips look any plumper?
00:19:42I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:19:46Have you guys seen Jake? I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:19:49It just, like, disappeared.
00:20:03Are these real?
00:20:05Of course they are.
00:20:08How come I've never met you before?
00:20:10I don't know. Maybe he's gonna be around.
00:20:12Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:20:13Um, I think he's around or something.
00:20:17Maybe upstairs.
00:20:18I don't know.
00:20:20Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:20:22That's probably where he went.
00:20:28Liquid courage?
00:20:30Yeah.
00:20:31Atta girl.
00:20:36Vodka cranberry?
00:20:37It's really simple.
00:20:40Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:20:42I can go meet around.
00:20:44Sue?
00:20:45Are you okay?
00:20:47Sue?
00:20:48Relax.
00:20:50They're just eyes.
00:20:52Okay. Nothing to be scared of. Seriously.
00:20:54You're gonna be fine.
00:20:55Is Chris here?
00:20:56Okay.
00:21:02Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:21:05No.
00:21:06He does not have gay face.
00:21:08I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:21:10I'm gonna do it.
00:21:20I'm gonna do this.
00:21:27Good luck.
00:21:31Hey, you can do this.
00:21:33Just act like a slut.
00:21:35No, no.
00:21:37Just pretend.
00:21:39Good luck.
00:21:48Yeah, my favorite chapter's song, Gmore.
00:21:51Chris, hi.
00:21:54Can I talk to you?
00:21:56Huh?
00:21:57Uh, in private?
00:22:00No.
00:22:14Oh, hey, Lexi. Hey, Lexi.
00:22:16What?
00:22:18Chris, you're so sexy.
00:22:23Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:22:26I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:22:29And I really want to...
00:22:33Oh, what are you doing?
00:22:35Is that wrong?
00:22:36Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:22:38Nothing. I'm sorry. I don't know how to do this.
00:22:42Sue.
00:22:44Sue, Sue.
00:22:48I understand these urges.
00:22:52And, you know, I like you too.
00:22:56Really? You do?
00:22:58I do. I really do.
00:23:09I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:23:15Right.
00:23:16Lexi said you were...
00:23:18Jesus.
00:23:18Oh, that man.
00:23:21Of course. What did you think?
00:23:24Oh, nothing.
00:23:25So we can still do this then?
00:23:28Oh, Sue.
00:23:29Oh, you know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about
00:23:41him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed over each other so
00:23:56delicately beneath that racket.
00:24:01Loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty, so sweaty, under that hot, hot sun, I just feel such compassion.
00:24:13I think about those things, too.
00:24:15So you understand why I can't do this.
00:24:20Not really.
00:24:21I just find it too hard.
00:24:23It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:24:32So...
00:24:35So...
00:24:44I'm going to go out there, right?
00:24:45Andy, we're going to tell you to leave on.
00:24:47Hey, Ty.
00:24:48Whoa!
00:24:50Have you seen Jake?
00:24:52Uh, no.
00:24:53No.
00:24:54All right.
00:24:59All right, focus, focus, focus.
00:25:07Oh, there he is.
00:25:11Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:25:28How could he?
00:25:33Sue, what happened?
00:25:35Did you guys do it?
00:25:37Sue?
00:25:38He doesn't want me.
00:25:40Because he's gay.
00:25:41No, he's not.
00:25:43He just really loves Jesus.
00:25:45Oh, come on, Sue.
00:25:47The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:25:53Look, the only way you are going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know
00:25:58what kind of woman you really are.
00:26:02Deep inside.
00:26:03What?
00:26:04Come with me.
00:26:06Where?
00:26:07To meet your dark side.
00:26:12Oh, come on, Sue.
00:26:15Out.
00:26:17Everyone out.
00:26:27Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:26:45I really can't.
00:26:46I really don't think I can do this.
00:26:49I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:26:55I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:27:01Sue?
00:27:02Can you see it?
00:27:05Ew.
00:27:09I'm almost...
00:27:10I'm almost there.
00:27:16Oh!
00:27:17What?
00:27:20What?
00:27:21Sue, what happened?
00:27:22What did you see?
00:27:23A raccoon?
00:27:25What?
00:27:27You overshot it.
00:27:28Aim the mirror further up.
00:27:37I can't.
00:27:38Please don't make me do that again.
00:27:40Okay, fine.
00:27:41Fine.
00:27:43I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:27:46What?
00:27:47You really need an orgasm.
00:27:50Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never even had it
00:27:55with yourself.
00:27:55Oh, this really has to be your first step.
00:27:58Les, I'm ready.
00:28:00Coming.
00:28:01Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:28:04Just find it and use it.
00:28:06Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:28:09It's black.
00:28:10It vibrates.
00:28:13Come on, Rod.
00:28:15Let's go to Sue's room.
00:28:18Don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:28:32Hey, cutie!
00:28:34Cutie!
00:28:38Oh!
00:28:40Boozeye!
00:28:41Oh, yeah!
00:28:46Bang.
00:28:48Bang.
00:28:49Bang.
00:28:51Good boy.
00:28:52Straighten up.
00:28:54Good boy.
00:28:55Good boy.
00:28:56He knows over a hundred commands.
00:29:00I'm sorry.
00:29:01I can't see anything.
00:29:03That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:29:05What a bitch.
00:29:07Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:29:09Good boy.
00:29:30Butter.
00:29:36Butter.
00:29:37Butter.
00:29:40Oh, shit!
00:29:46What's wrong with this thing?
00:30:07What is wrong?
00:30:09Lexi, it's Jake.
00:30:12He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:30:15For sure?
00:30:17I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:30:20so maybe it's my fault.
00:30:22That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:30:25No, it's awful.
00:30:27I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:30:36It's a text. It's from him.
00:30:38I can't bear myself to read it.
00:30:39Okay. He's looking for you.
00:30:42He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:30:45Oh, I can't face him.
00:30:47I have to go. I'm going.
00:30:49No, you can't just leave.
00:30:51Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:30:54I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:30:56No. He'll either deny it
00:30:58or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:31:00Either way, it's bullshit.
00:31:02I see only one option.
00:31:05I'm leaving.
00:31:06Revenge sex.
00:31:08I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:10It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out,
00:31:13and you let Jake catch you.
00:31:18Revenge sex.
00:31:20I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:22It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out,
00:31:24and you let Jake catch you.
00:31:27But he...
00:31:28I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:31:29He doesn't even care about me.
00:31:30I mean, why would...
00:31:31He's just into other girls.
00:31:33Trust me, he'll care.
00:31:36Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him.
00:31:39To his ego.
00:31:40To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:31:44Especially if it's with someone smarter,
00:31:46better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:31:50No, I...
00:31:51I couldn't.
00:31:52Plus, I mean, there's...
00:31:53There's no one smarter and better looking.
00:31:56Eric!
00:31:57He's perfect!
00:31:59Eric Hall?
00:32:00Are you kidding?
00:32:01I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:32:04He likes your type.
00:32:05Really?
00:32:06And what type is that?
00:32:07Slutty.
00:32:09Yeah.
00:32:10Trust me, he's amazing.
00:32:12I fooled around with him once.
00:32:13He has this great tongue, right?
00:32:15Oh, no.
00:32:17I can never fool around with somebody you've fooled around with.
00:32:19Okay, then.
00:32:21Fine.
00:32:21We will find someone else.
00:32:23Someone that I haven't...
00:32:25fooled around with.
00:32:30Okay, what does it matter that I've fooled around with him?
00:32:32I mean, it's like you're not gonna marry the guy.
00:32:34Okay?
00:32:35No, I just couldn't do it.
00:32:37Fine.
00:32:38If you wanna live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:32:43to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage
00:32:46and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:32:49and you chose not to do it,
00:32:51go ahead.
00:32:52But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:57I don't know.
00:33:00But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:33:04I don't know.
00:33:06Trust me.
00:33:07It's going to work.
00:33:14I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:33:18Hi, Cheryl.
00:33:19Okay, enough to chat with her.
00:33:22Oh, no!
00:33:35Hey.
00:33:37Happy birthday.
00:33:39Thanks.
00:34:04Have you guys seen Jake?
00:34:13Happy birthday.
00:34:16Happy birthday.
00:34:16Uh...
00:34:17Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:34:21But it's actually from us.
00:34:22U.S.
00:34:24America?
00:34:27United States?
00:34:28I know where we live right I know where we live right
00:34:44hey Jesus Eric are you gonna make your move or not oh you want me to move yeah
00:34:48no I can totally move I just no you're fine
00:35:06Jake so Eric do you want to do it or not I'm sorry it what um it like monkey boning
00:35:18and like pigs in a
00:35:19blanket get real nasty oh oh you mean like
00:35:27right now I mean well yeah you know the sooner the better yeah sure I mean yeah of course um
00:35:37I just
00:35:37never realized that you I mean who uh it's just you're so you're so beautiful okay um
00:35:55no cuisine right um of course sorry
00:36:03so um do you want to unwrap me oh wow uh you're wrapped up like a hot pocket or
00:36:12leftover macaroni and cheese now that you left over you're not you're fresh
00:36:22now that you left over you're not you're fresh organic yep
00:36:31so the wrap right um where's the uh it's uh the end is that I just like right over oh
00:36:40yeah here it is
00:36:41that's where I see it um let me just uh yeah uh ow ow ow sorry sorry sorry I um
00:36:49it's okay
00:36:51do it again sorry I uh about my nails so it's a little difficult you know what let me just
00:36:58lay on the bed
00:37:05okay uh let me just see oh here it is I got it all right it's um pull it
00:37:18oh geez uh Cheryl are you you okay
00:37:22uh hey Cheryl are you okay oh geez
00:37:38well that was stupid
00:37:42yeah
00:37:48how are you doing tonight you having a good time yeah good
00:37:52jake i think i saw cheryl upstairs what i can't hear you
00:37:59you know the beer chips are so damn salty
00:38:03jake sorry we're upstairs yeah hold on take the piss how much beer
00:38:25oh
00:38:26oh
00:38:27oh
00:38:28oh
00:38:28oh
00:38:29oh
00:38:43oh
00:38:47no no no no no no um don't don't worry about it what i mean i want us to be
00:38:54able to see each
00:38:59Oh. Well, okay.
00:39:00Okay.
00:39:16Finally. I, uh,
00:39:19let me just get the blinds. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:22Um, don't worry about it. What?
00:39:26I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:39:31Uh-oh. Well, okay.
00:39:34Okay.
00:40:08Uh-oh.
00:40:12Uh-oh.
00:40:14Uh-oh.
00:40:16Uh-oh.
00:40:17Uh-oh.
00:40:24Uh-oh.
00:40:25What are you doing?
00:40:27Uh...
00:40:27I think it's time, you know,
00:40:31to...
00:40:32do it.
00:40:34Um, not yet. More foreplay.
00:40:36Uh-oh.
00:40:39Uh-oh.
00:40:41Uh-oh.
00:40:43Uh-oh.
00:40:45It's so good.
00:40:47Oh.
00:40:49Yep.
00:40:51Oh, my God.
00:40:53Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:40:55What? What? What?
00:40:56Ah. Oh.
00:40:57Ah, dear.
00:40:59Lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:41:01Is that even a thing?
00:41:03I don't know.
00:41:06Ah.
00:41:07Are you okay?
00:41:11No, no, no, no. It's, uh...
00:41:14It's fine. I'm just, uh,
00:41:16I'm embarrassed.
00:41:18It's...
00:41:18probably TMJ or...
00:41:21fracture, swollen.
00:41:24You sure you're okay?
00:41:26Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:41:28Okay, great. Have fun.
00:41:29Oh.
00:41:36Now. Now, let's do now.
00:41:38No, no, no. Not yet. Not yet.
00:41:42All right, I'm gonna come.
00:41:43No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:41:47No, no, no, no, not yet.
00:41:49Lexi! Lexi!
00:41:50Oh, shit!
00:41:55No, no, no, no, not yet.
00:41:56Lexi! Lexi!
00:41:58Oh, shit!
00:42:01No means no!
00:42:02Huh? Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:42:04I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:42:06It's been a really long time and I just, I haven't masturbated for her or anything.
00:42:16Oh, hey, Jake.
00:42:20How you doing?
00:42:22How's it doing?
00:42:23Good.
00:42:23Eric?
00:42:26Eric, help me.
00:42:27I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:42:30Excuse me.
00:42:35Cheryl's in here.
00:42:41Sup, brother?
00:42:43What the fuck is...
00:42:46Hey, wait!
00:42:49Lexi!
00:42:49Lexi!
00:42:49Hey, still waiting.
00:42:58Oh, I'm sorry.
00:42:59I can't see. I'm blind.
00:43:02Damn it.
00:43:04I'm gonna say something to that bitch.
00:43:07Hey, you!
00:43:09You better stop making fun of the blind, or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:43:16I'm so sorry!
00:43:17I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:43:19Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh ya, OMG!
00:43:27Take one!
00:43:45Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:43:48This party's ass.
00:43:52Yeah!
00:43:57This just isn't working out.
00:44:01Nothing.
00:44:02What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?
00:44:07Lock your character, man, lock sticks.
00:44:10Spark it up!
00:44:12Yes!
00:44:16Oh, man!
00:44:17I love this game!
00:44:18What are the controllers?
00:44:19We gotta play here, here, here.
00:44:21Okay, let me find another one.
00:44:22All right, watch on!
00:44:25Woo!
00:44:27Look at this!
00:44:29Oh, my God!
00:44:31Fuel, fuel, fuel!
00:44:33Get that thing away!
00:44:34Jesus!
00:44:42Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:44:46Wasn't me.
00:44:52Whoa!
00:44:52Whoa!
00:44:53Nice!
00:44:55Are you sitting in there or something?
00:44:59Hey, you found the grenade launcher!
00:45:01Nice!
00:45:01Nice!
00:45:14Do you have the extra controller?
00:45:27Whoa!
00:45:29Whoa!
00:45:30You are the controller!
00:45:32No!
00:45:33I just...
00:45:34I didn't...
00:45:35I swear, I...
00:45:47I was the controller!
00:45:49You have the extra controller!
00:45:49I'm the extra controller!
00:45:49I can't believe it!
00:45:49Hey, Sue!
00:45:51Where are you going, man?
00:45:54It's okay, um...
00:45:56Hey, Sue!
00:46:08Hey!
00:46:09Didn't you hear me calling you?
00:46:10Yeah!
00:46:11I just needed to...
00:46:13Um...
00:46:13Oh!
00:46:14Sure!
00:46:16Listen, Sue...
00:46:18I...
00:46:18I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:46:21You were?
00:46:23You mean...
00:46:25Y-yeah!
00:46:29So you think we should give it a try?
00:46:33Can we go get a drink?
00:46:38Wow!
00:46:39Um...
00:46:39Your...
00:46:39Toilet's really...
00:46:41Oh...
00:46:42You...
00:46:43Do you know what?
00:46:44I-I gotta go!
00:46:45Um...
00:46:46Happy birthday!
00:46:47Uh, no!
00:46:47Chris!
00:46:48No, there wasn't!
00:46:48I didn't...
00:46:49Oh, God!
00:46:50Never mind!
00:47:04This is the worst idea ever!
00:47:07Never going to have sex!
00:47:09Ow!
00:47:31Hello?
00:47:32A little attention here.
00:47:34Oh, yeah.
00:47:35Sorry.
00:47:42Lex...
00:47:43Don't be selfish.
00:47:44All right.
00:47:46Sorry.
00:47:59Ugh!
00:48:00Jeez!
00:48:01Who invented this stupid position, anyway?
00:48:05Too much fucking multitasking.
00:48:08Screw it.
00:48:15Where is it?
00:48:24Get out of here.
00:48:31Wait!
00:48:32Like in the background?
00:48:32Happy birthday.
00:48:32Here we are.
00:48:34Only again will he beanielleners.
00:48:36Are you getting ready?
00:48:52Oh, no, that was bad, that was so bad.
00:49:12Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:49:17I think that guy's name starts with a J. Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:49:27Yes, it does.
00:49:29So, you're JJ?
00:49:30Uh-oh.
00:49:56Hello.
00:49:57Welcome to 1-900 Confess. Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:50:02A nun.
00:50:03Please punch in your credit card number.
00:50:10Please hold.
00:50:12Oh, my goodness.
00:50:171-900 Confession, how may I be of service?
00:50:20It's been one day since my last confession. I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:50:25One day.
00:50:28Ow!
00:50:34Is that too long?
00:50:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:50:38Go on.
00:50:40Um, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:50:44Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine.
00:50:47What's her problem?
00:50:49A washing machine touched her.
00:50:52Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:50:56All right, freak, time's up.
00:50:58What? But what do I do?
00:51:00Just unplug the thing.
00:51:01No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:51:06Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:51:10I'm serious.
00:51:11Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:51:15I'll tell you this.
00:51:17Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:51:20No contritions?
00:51:22You broke no covenant with God. It's not in the Bible.
00:51:26So, the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:51:30Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:51:33Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:51:36Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:51:39Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:51:42Huh. God's pretty cool that way.
00:51:45He sure is. Now run along.
00:51:51Wow.
00:51:53How do you know all that?
00:51:55Because I'm a nun.
00:51:57Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:52:00Huh. Accidental masturbation.
00:52:02Who'd it think?
00:52:03Who'd it think?
00:52:13Revenge sex with a stupid fucking idiot.
00:52:17God, I'm getting out of here.
00:52:21Yeah, admit it.
00:52:23I've got no game.
00:52:25I guess I'm scared if you're made like my son,
00:52:27if you don't want to hurt you.
00:52:28Okay.
00:52:31Fucking douchebag.
00:52:34Damn it.
00:52:36Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:52:39You go, girl.
00:52:41What?
00:52:43What are you doing here?
00:52:45We needed some place private.
00:52:48But hey, listen.
00:52:49If you're serious about getting laid.
00:52:51Yeah?
00:52:52If you want someone great.
00:52:53I mean, really, the best ever.
00:52:58No offense.
00:53:00Frank.
00:53:01The blind guy?
00:53:03Really?
00:53:03I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:53:07I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:53:10It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:53:13It was like we used all our senses.
00:53:16Everything.
00:53:20If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:53:23Alright.
00:53:31What about him?
00:53:32Jeremy.
00:53:33Oh yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:53:36Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:53:38I didn't know his last name though.
00:53:41It's Jones.
00:53:43Jeremy Jones.
00:53:45This all makes sense.
00:53:46Excuse me.
00:53:49Jeremy.
00:53:50Hi.
00:53:51Hey.
00:53:52Who's on the phone?
00:53:54Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:53:56You'll meet her.
00:53:57Could be here in like an hour.
00:53:58Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:54:14Oh.
00:54:16Hey, Frank.
00:54:18Sit.
00:54:22Oh, you meant...
00:54:23You meant the dog.
00:54:27Relax.
00:54:30You need to relax and calm down.
00:54:42Oh, I'm...
00:54:43I'm relaxed, I'm fine.
00:54:45Then why are you biting your nail?
00:54:47I'm not.
00:54:51How did you know that?
00:54:55Corner.
00:55:00Sit.
00:55:02Roll over.
00:55:07Oh, you mean me.
00:55:10Roll over.
00:55:14Oh, you mean me.
00:55:16Oh, how do you...
00:55:18How do you want me to...
00:55:20Just lie down.
00:55:33Oh, I...
00:55:34I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
00:55:37Considering it a teachable moment.
00:55:40Okay.
00:55:43Oh.
00:55:47See me with your hands.
00:55:53All right.
00:55:55Uh...
00:56:01You know, I should really...
00:56:03I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:56:05Really.
00:56:07Oh.
00:56:20Mmm, peanut butter.
00:56:29There.
00:56:36Frank, Frank.
00:56:39Oh.
00:56:43Oh, Frank.
00:56:53You and...
00:56:54You and...
00:57:10Yo, man.
00:57:11Yo, give me a chip.
00:57:13My chips, homeboy.
00:57:15Yo, give me a chip, man.
00:57:16My chips?
00:57:17Yo, my chips.
00:57:18Give me a chip.
00:57:21My chips?
00:57:23Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:57:26Sorry.
00:57:35It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:57:38That's all.
00:57:43No, let me do this.
00:57:44Go away.
00:57:45I got it.
00:57:46I got it.
00:57:47No, really, please.
00:57:48I want to help.
00:57:49Please.
00:57:52Okay, everybody out.
00:57:54Leave.
00:57:55I have to vacuum.
00:58:10You're not even getting the chips.
00:58:12They're over here.
00:58:14I see some dust over here, so...
00:58:19Oh, it's just so much dust on this floor.
00:58:24It's a dirty floor.
00:58:26Such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:58:54I think I got all that.
00:58:57I think I got all that.
00:59:09Frankie.
00:59:11Frankie.
00:59:12Oh, my...
00:59:12Oh.
00:59:13What's that?
00:59:14What?
00:59:15Oh, fucking shit.
00:59:17Oh, man, we got to smoke.
00:59:18Oh, we can smoke in here.
00:59:22Stop.
00:59:23Frank.
00:59:23Stop teasing Frank.
00:59:25Oh, shit.
00:59:27I'm sorry, man.
00:59:28We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:59:30Oh, I heard something.
00:59:32You want to join us?
00:59:32Uh, no, I might...
00:59:34Come on, you gotta do it.
00:59:36Come on.
00:59:37Seriously, guys.
00:59:38I need to...
00:59:38Where's your dog, man?
00:59:39Dude, what's it like being blinded?
00:59:41It's creepy.
00:59:42Oh, shit.
00:59:46Frank?
00:59:48Frank, are we going to do something soon?
00:59:52Bro, you are too funny.
00:59:57Thanks, man.
00:59:58Oh, this is some good stuff.
01:00:00I haven't smoked since junior high.
01:00:02Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
01:00:05Wait, wait, wait.
01:00:06I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
01:00:11Damn, I really can't remember.
01:00:13This is some good shit.
01:00:33Oh, no.
01:00:35You're the devil.
01:00:37No more.
01:00:42JJ, Jeremy, you have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
01:00:48Please.
01:00:48Lex, I can't.
01:00:52I mean, I got a girlfriend.
01:00:54I really like this girl.
01:00:56Fine.
01:00:57It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra and I also have on crotchless panties
01:01:06with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
01:01:12Oh.
01:01:17We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
01:01:20Perfect.
01:01:25Before she gets here.
01:01:26Perfect.
01:01:37I'm going to do it.
01:01:39Let's do it.
01:01:41Fuck me.
01:01:41Fuck me now.
01:01:47What?
01:01:48What's wrong?
01:01:49I can't.
01:01:50I can't get it in.
01:01:52Just try down there.
01:01:54It's a desert down there.
01:01:55It's sandpaper.
01:01:57I just...
01:01:58Okay.
01:01:58I get the picture.
01:02:00Just try it again.
01:02:04No.
01:02:05Why is this happening?
01:02:07We fooled around before.
01:02:09I was dripping wet.
01:02:10I came like four times, remember?
01:02:12Just do what you did then.
01:02:14Go on.
01:02:14I already did my thing.
01:02:16I already tried.
01:02:18What?
01:02:19What?
01:02:19What is different this time?
01:02:21I don't know.
01:02:23Last time...
01:02:27I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
01:02:30What?
01:02:32You're not JJ?
01:02:34But your name is Jeremy Jones.
01:02:36How can you not be JJ?
01:02:39Who the hell is this JJ?
01:02:42Where are you going?
01:02:44We're not done here.
01:02:45I can still do this.
01:02:47I just need a little bit of work.
01:02:48I can do this.
01:02:49I don't need JJ.
01:02:51I don't need anyone else.
01:02:52We can do this.
01:02:55Go team.
01:03:00What?
01:03:01Just keep going.
01:03:06Jeremy?
01:03:07Are you...
01:03:07Shit.
01:03:19Where's Jeremy?
01:03:20Where's Jeremy?
01:03:22We were just, you know, coming here.
01:03:25Hey babe.
01:03:26Just working out.
01:03:32How could you, you bastard?
01:03:37You might want to...
01:03:39What?
01:03:41What?
01:03:46Mariela!
01:03:48Mariela!
01:03:49You know those aren't mine.
01:03:51At least not all of them.
01:03:54What is wrong with you?
01:04:00What is wrong with you?
01:04:03It used to be so pure.
01:04:06Well, no more.
01:04:07That's it.
01:04:08Really, that's the last one.
01:04:10Or no more.
01:04:17But it's amazing.
01:04:19Shh.
01:04:21Shh.
01:04:22Shh.
01:04:24Shh.
01:04:36It's heavy.
01:04:43Cheryl. What is it? What are you doing down here?
01:04:51Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
01:04:56What? Why? Nothing. Just this blind guy and his dog and...
01:05:03Honey, it's gonna be okay.
01:05:05No, it's not okay. God. And you know whose fault it is?
01:05:12I'm sorry. It's Jake's. Jake's fault. That blind cheating bastard.
01:05:18Yes. He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him.
01:05:23Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him. I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
01:05:29Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
01:05:31You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
01:05:34Yeah, a big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it.
01:05:39Yeah.
01:05:41You know, you might wanna...
01:05:44You need to look hot while you break up with him.
01:05:46Yeah, you're right.
01:05:47Why?
01:05:48Why am I wearing a sheet?
01:05:49I know.
01:05:56I'm sorry. I'm so... I get shy around beautiful women like you.
01:06:05I got no game.
01:06:13It's not important.
01:06:28Hey, um...
01:06:29Eric, I can't talk right now.
01:06:30No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
01:06:33Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
01:06:35No, no, no, no. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna
01:06:42make it up to you.
01:06:43Eric, really?
01:06:44I don't care. It's fine.
01:06:46No, but I do. I mean, I do. I care. I haven't known how to tell you. Maybe because, I
01:06:55don't know, I'm a little shy. But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime. Soon. Because
01:07:05I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out.
01:07:08Really? Eric, you're shy. You have no game.
01:07:13No, not really.
01:07:17Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.
01:07:23Okay. Alright. I, uh...
01:07:28Happy birthday, then.
01:07:42I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss you.
01:07:53Wow.
01:07:54Oh, fuck.
01:08:06Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:08:13Oh, Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:08:17Oh, don't worry.
01:08:18Sorry. Not again.
01:08:19Oh, no, um...
01:08:19Honey, happy...
01:08:23What the fuck is this?
01:08:24Who the hell are you, dude?
01:08:26Okay, guys, don't.
01:08:31Cheryl.
01:08:33Baby.
01:08:34What is this?
01:08:36Aw, gee, Cheryl.
01:08:39You're...
01:08:40I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:08:43Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:08:45You couldn't find me?
01:08:47What about all those girls' vaginas you were in or your penis getting sucked?
01:08:53Cheryl, honey.
01:08:54No, no.
01:08:55We can work this out.
01:08:56Baby, I love you.
01:08:58Jake, no. You have to go.
01:08:59Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:09:01I promise.
01:09:02No, Jake. I can't do this. I'm sorry.
01:09:05Cheryl, come on.
01:09:07No, Jake, please.
01:09:08Just go. Just go. I'm sorry.
01:09:10You're a harmless bitch!
01:09:12How can you do it?
01:09:14Yay! You did it.
01:09:16I'm so proud of you.
01:09:17You got your revenge sex.
01:09:19You left him a mere shell of a man.
01:09:21Revenge sex?
01:09:24It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:09:28Right.
01:09:30That all makes sense now.
01:09:33Wow, I feel really stupid.
01:09:36Eric, I'm really... I'm really sorry.
01:09:40Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:09:42And he used me.
01:09:45Eric, please don't go.
01:09:46Please, Eric!
01:09:49Aren't you happy?
01:09:52Well, no.
01:09:53That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:09:56You mean the sex, was it?
01:09:59No, we didn't quite do it.
01:10:01You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:10:04Really?
01:10:04I just never found the right guy.
01:10:06Or guys.
01:10:09Anyway.
01:10:10We better get downstairs.
01:10:11People are starting to leave.
01:10:12I wonder how Sue did.
01:10:25I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:10:28This is bullshit!
01:10:30God!
01:10:31Oh!
01:10:33Oh!
01:10:33Oh!
01:10:34Oh!
01:10:34Oh!
01:10:36Oh!
01:10:37I'm out of here!
01:10:38Yeah!
01:10:39He has good hair, though.
01:10:45Don't keep you around me.
01:10:48Don't keep in my car, either.
01:11:03Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:11:06Is it from sex?
01:11:08Did you pop your cork?
01:11:09I don't think so.
01:11:11Not with the guy, anyway.
01:11:13Oh, don't ask.
01:11:14Every possible object.
01:11:17It's like every mechanical thing.
01:11:19It was like...
01:11:20Transformers.
01:11:21They just all became vibrators.
01:11:24I told you.
01:11:25It's indicting.
01:11:28So what about Chris?
01:11:30The last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.
01:11:33I told you he was gay.
01:11:35Well, I think I'm just...
01:11:37Oh.
01:11:38Cramp.
01:11:39Oh.
01:11:40Oh.
01:11:41I think it's broken.
01:11:42So wait.
01:11:44None of us cashed an RV card.
01:11:47Heh.
01:11:52Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:11:55So let's go grab some food.
01:11:57Wanna go?
01:11:58No.
01:11:59I think I should finish up here.
01:12:02Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:12:04No.
01:12:07I don't know.
01:12:07For some reason, I just realized...
01:12:09He needs to be my first.
01:12:12Or something.
01:12:13Why, do you know him?
01:12:15Sort of.
01:12:16Oh.
01:12:18Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:12:29Love him?
01:12:30Shut it.
01:12:30You wanna do it?
01:12:31I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:12:32You wanna get married?
01:12:33You wanna do it?
01:12:34All right, all right, all right.
01:12:46Oh, you wanna do it?
01:12:55No.
01:12:56You wanna do it?
01:13:03No.
01:13:05No.
01:13:23Oh well, there's always next year.
01:13:49It's you, I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:13:54Okay, J.J.
01:14:51Okay, J.J.
01:15:05Wow, that's amazing.
01:15:09Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:15:12I guess something inspired me.
01:15:16You really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:15:19Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:15:25Who's?
01:15:26Eric's.
01:15:28Well, it's him, right?
01:15:31Oh.
01:15:33Yeah.
01:15:36I have to go see him.
01:15:42Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:15:55One-nine-hundred confess.
01:15:59Sister Terese?
01:16:01Yeah, hon.
01:16:02Um, there was a problem with your credit card.
01:16:04I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:16:07Oh, sure.
01:16:10It's 271.
01:16:12Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:16:18Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you, take you back?
01:16:24Sure, hon.
01:16:25Why not?
01:16:27As long as you're on the right path.
01:16:30Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:16:32Sister, I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:16:37Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:16:42Sister, can I get up now?
01:16:45I really gotta pee.
01:16:46No!
01:16:47Hush your trap!
01:16:51Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:16:55I will.
01:16:57Thanks.
01:17:01Sister?
01:17:02Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:17:22Eric, wait!
01:17:27Cheryl?
01:17:31Eric, um...
01:17:32Look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:17:36I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:17:38At the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:17:42I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:17:45The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:17:49Um...
01:17:50I...
01:17:51I do want to go out with you.
01:17:54And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:17:58I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these...
01:18:02Eric!
01:18:04Come on, I gotta get going.
01:18:07Oh.
01:18:08Wow.
01:18:09Cheryl, this is my sister Tina.
01:18:12Tina, Cheryl.
01:18:14Hi.
01:18:15Nice to meet you.
01:18:21Um...
01:18:21So, um...
01:18:23Do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:18:25When I get back?
01:18:27Yeah.
01:18:27Sure.
01:18:34Sorry.
01:18:36No kissing.
01:18:37No kissing.
01:18:41Sorry.
01:18:43No kissing, right?
01:18:51No kissing.
01:18:52Oh.
01:18:56Mmm.
01:18:56hey did you ever get those flowers I sent you and I don't even care that you
01:19:04hooked up a plexi wait what I never did that I mean you don't have to lie about
01:19:10it she told me all about your pierced tongue
01:19:18she must have me mixed up with someone else I wonder who it was
01:19:44at least this birthday is over
01:19:58dear lord please forgive me I mean if you could just I don't know like send me a sign
01:20:09so
01:20:40Excuse me.
01:20:41Excuse me.
01:20:42Do you know where the church is?
01:20:44It's on Bountain Street.
01:20:46Um, yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:20:49Or used to go to.
01:20:51Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:20:57You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:21:00Oh, um, I don't know.
01:21:10Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:21:13Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:21:19Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:21:23I don't think so.
01:21:25But thanks.
01:21:26What's your name?
01:21:27Sue.
01:21:28What's yours?
01:21:30Jesus.
01:21:32Really?
01:21:33Si.
01:21:36Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:56Oh.
01:21:57Oh.
01:21:57Oh!
01:21:58Oh!
01:21:58Oh.
01:21:59Oh, God.
01:22:00Oh.
01:22:01Oh, God.
01:22:03Oh.
01:22:04Oh.
01:22:07Oh, God.
01:22:08Oh, God.
01:22:08Oh, God.
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