00:03love yourself those two words have been repeated so often they become background noise soft safe
00:13sanitized you see them on inspirational mugs in the bios of people who are falling apart
00:20whispered like a consolation prize when life has knocked you down love yourself it sounds gentle
00:27it sounds like a bubble bath and a glass of wine and a day off i am here to tell
00:32you that loving
00:33yourself is not gentle it is not soft it is the most violent uncomfortable relentless battle you
00:40will ever fight and it is the only one that matters because here is the truth no one tells you
00:47the voice that cuts you down the most the critic that lives in your skull the one that reminds you
00:54of every failure every embarrassment every moment you fell short that voice is yours it's not your
01:00parents it's not your ex it's not the people who doubted you those people are gone they left the
01:07room years ago but you kept them you took their words you built a throne for them in your own
01:15mind
01:15and now you let them rule you you wake up and the first thing you do is remind yourself of
01:21what you
01:21laugh you look in the mirror and you don't see a person you see a list of problems to fix
01:26you look at your life and you measure it against a highlight reel that doesn't exist
01:32and you call that being humble you call that being realistic
01:38you call that staying grounded i call itself destruction
01:45you are the only person who has been with yourself every single second of your life every high
01:51every low every victory every shameful moment you know all your secrets you know every time
01:59you took the easy way out you know every time you smiled while you were breaking inside and instead
02:06of looking at that person that survivor that fighter and saying thank you for enduring you look
02:12at them and say why aren't you better this stops today or at least this starts today because it
02:20doesn't stop in a day but it starts with a single decision the decision to stop negotiating with
02:27the part of you that wants you dead not physically dead but spiritually dead the part that tells you
02:34you're not smart enough to apply for that job not fit enough to start that journey not talented enough to
02:42chase that dream not lovable enough to ask for that relationship that voice is not your intuition that voice
02:51is fear wearing a mask and it has been lying to you for years loving yourself is not about looking
02:59in
02:59the mirror and reciting affirmations you don't believe that's not love that's a performance real love
03:07is action real love is discipline it's the choice to do the hard thing that benefits your future self
03:15even when your present self is screaming for the easy way out love is the discipline to put the phone
03:22down at 2am because you know that scrolling through a world that makes you feel small is not what a
03:29person
03:29who cares about themselves does love is the discipline to eat the food that fuels you to move your body
03:37even when you feel sluggish to treat your physical form like it is the only vehicle you will ever have
03:44for this journey because it is love is the discipline to walk away from people who make you feel like
03:53you
03:53have to shrink to be around them it is the courage to be the villain in someone else's story because
04:00you
04:00refuse to be a victim in your own you will be called arrogant you will be called selfish people who
04:09benefited from your silence people who relied on yourself hatred to keep you small they will be the
04:17loudest when you start to rise let them be loud their noise is the sound of you growing you have
04:26to
04:26understand that you are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm that is not love
04:34that is martyrdom and it will leave you empty you cannot pour from a vessel that you are actively cracking
04:43and this is the hardest part this is where the speech stops being motivation and becomes a command
04:50you have to forgive yourself not for the big things only for the small stupid daily things for the time
04:59you said the wrong thing five years ago and you still replay it at 3am for the opportunity you missed
05:06because you were scared for the way you let someone treat you because you thought you didn't deserve better
05:12you have to let it go that weight you are carrying it is not a lesson anymore it has become
05:20a shackle
05:21you are not paying penance by suffering you are just suffering the apology you are waiting for from
05:28the world from that person from your past you have to give it to yourself you have to look at
05:34that younger
05:34version of you the one who made the mess who made the mistake who didn't know what they knew
05:39now and you have to say you did what you could with what you had and i'm taking over from
05:44here
05:45that is the shift that is the moment you take the reins from the ghost of who you used to
05:50be
05:51stop waiting for permission who are you waiting for to tell you it's okay who is coming to save you
05:59no one is coming no one is riding over that hill to tell you that you are finally worthy
06:05that is your job that has always been your job and the longer you wait the more of your life
06:13you
06:13hand over to a rescue that isn't coming you want to know what loving yourself looks like it looks like
06:19failure because when you truly love yourself you stop fearing failure you stop fearing looking stupid
06:28you stop fearing the judgment of people who are too afraid to even try when you love yourself your
06:35dignity is no longer tied to being perfect your dignity is tied to showing up to trying to falling
06:42and getting up and dusting yourself off and laughing because you know that the person who gets up
06:49is more powerful than the person who never fell if you love yourself you become dangerous to mediocrity
06:58you become a threat to the status quo of your own life
07:03you stop accepting the job that drains your soul you stop accepting
07:09the relationship that feels like a slow erosion you stop accepting the body that you hide because you
07:18decided you weren't worth the effort it is a fight it is the fight and the opponent is not the
07:25world
07:26the opponent is the story you have been telling yourself about who you are and you wrote that story
07:35which means you can rewrite it not by wishing not by hoping by acting every time you choose the hard
07:44right over the easy wrong you are writing a new sentence every time you honor a commitment you made to
07:50yourself you are writing a new paragraph every time you look in the mirror and refuse to flinch
07:55you are turning the page you are turning the page you have one life one
08:03this is not a dress rehearsal this is not the tutorial level the clock is ticking and while you are
08:11sitting here
08:12hating yourself for not being enough you are bleeding days that you will never get back
08:18time does not care if you were ready time does not care if you felt confident time just moves
08:27so you have to move with it stop asking for permission to take up space
08:33stop apologizing for your ambition stop dimming your light because it makes other people uncomfortable
08:40your light is not for them your light is for you and it is your responsibility to protect it love
08:49yourself
08:50enough to be disliked love yourself enough to be misunderstood love yourself enough to be the one who tries and
08:59fails
09:00rather than the one who sits on the sidelines and wonders what if because at the end of your life
09:06you will not be judged by how well you conform you will be judged by how fully you live and
09:14you cannot
09:15live fully if you are at war with yourself so call a truce right now put down the weapon of
09:23comparison
09:25silence the critic who has nothing new to say look at the person you are not the person you think
09:32you
09:33should be and decide i am going to fight for myself not tomorrow not when i lose the weight not
09:41when i
09:42get the promotion not when i find a partner now because the relationship you have with yourself
09:48is the longest relationship you will ever have it is time to make it a good one it is time
09:55to make it
09:56a strong one it is time to love yourself not because it's easy but because it is the only way
10:05you will
10:06ever truly be free
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