- 22 hours ago
The Office US S09E09 Dwight Christmas Cut 1 H 264
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00:32I am leaving early today for Philly
00:36because tomorrow is the first day of my new job.
00:39So I figured I'd get in at five, check into the hotel about six
00:44so I can get a real good night of restless sleep, nervous puking.
00:49I think Jim is really nervous about his first day at the new job.
00:52I wish there was something I could do to take his mind off it.
00:54I feel so bad.
00:57He is being kind of adorable, though.
00:59Uh, excuse me, trying to get work done?
01:01Some people don't care about Jim's new sports job and phylla-whatever.
01:05So you know my job has something to do with sports,
01:07but you don't know the end of the word Philadelphia.
01:10Philadelphia, from the Greek.
01:12Philia, meaning love.
01:14And Adolf, meaning Adolf, the city that loves Adolf.
01:17Good luck with your new enterprise.
01:19And don't wear the blue striped shirt.
01:21It makes your neck look like an old mop handle.
01:26Oh.
01:27Hey, guys, the Christmas party is today.
01:30Merry Christmas, everyone!
01:32No.
01:33Is it?
01:33I mean, it says X-mas party, but I think we all know what that's code for.
01:36So we're not gonna have a Christmas party this year?
01:39Angela, how could you do this to us?
01:41Oh, right.
01:42Like, I'm responsible because I'm in charge of the party planning committee.
01:45Well, you are the one in charge.
01:47Don't blame me for something we all forgot.
01:49Yeah, let's not blame her for something we all forgot.
01:51I didn't realize how many of Angela's opinions I agreed with
01:55until she tried to have my kneecap shattered for sleeping with her husband.
01:59She makes a lot of very sound points.
02:01I knew the party was today, but nobody asked me to plan it, so I didn't.
02:05Hmm. Funny how that works.
02:07We're out there sweating our balls off every day, busting our balls.
02:12We deserve a Christmas party.
02:13Darn straight.
02:14This is America.
02:15Yes.
02:16This is America.
02:18Well, then why don't we just get some liquor and those mini cupcakes?
02:22Mini cupcakes?
02:23As in the mini version of regular cupcakes, which is already a mini version of cake?
02:29Honestly, where does it end with you people?
02:31Kev's right.
02:32That's no party.
02:33That's like a kick in our balls.
02:35I have an idea.
02:36What about an authentic Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas?
02:38Drink some Glühwein.
02:40Enjoy some Haasenpfeffer.
02:41Enjoy Christmas with St. Nicholas's rural German companion, Belschnickel.
02:47Yes.
02:48That.
02:49That.
02:50That.
02:50Definitely doing that.
02:51Are we all in agreement?
02:52No.
02:54Done, right?
02:54No.
02:55I want tropical Christmas.
02:57Topless Christmas.
02:58Topless Swissmas.
03:00Spanish tapas and Swiss-mes hot cocoa.
03:03What so hard to understand?
03:05Or, God, who was it that suggested the authentic Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas?
03:09I think it was someone really popular.
03:11We already said no.
03:12No.
03:13No.
03:13No.
03:14This is me and my family celebrating Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas in 1982 on the farm.
03:18There's me and my brother Jeb breaking the ceremonial pig rib.
03:22He doesn't come back for Christmas anymore.
03:24The sepia tint is from an app on my phone.
03:27This is the same photo Matrix style.
03:31I'm not understanding the confusion.
03:33Am I the only one who wants to try Hufflepuffs and Schnauzerhosen and meet this Glen Pickle guy?
03:40Party planning committee emergency meeting.
03:43Now.
03:47I'm on it.
03:49Right.
03:59And that is why this Christmas should be a Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas.
04:05Danke.
04:07Thank you, Dwight.
04:08We will take your idea into consideration.
04:10Please do.
04:11Thank you very much.
04:12Dwight for Christmas party.
04:17Sorry, but that looked like a cat's butt to me.
04:21Next!
04:25Good luck, chump.
04:26Thanks.
04:27I hope I get it.
04:40Kevin.
04:41Yeah.
04:43Santa.
04:45All right.
04:45Santa.
04:48Kevin.
04:49It'll make Christmas a ho ho home run.
04:57Once again, displays of support are not needed.
05:01Booze are okay.
05:02Next!
05:08Oh!
05:10Oh.
05:12Thank you.
05:16Lots of good ideas here.
05:18What was that?
05:20I'm just hoping German terrorists don't take over this Christmas party.
05:23They can go all John McClane on their asses.
05:25Wait.
05:25German terrorists?
05:26That's oddly specific.
05:28And I think, I think you mean John McCain.
05:31Die Hard reference.
05:32I haven't seen it.
05:33You haven't seen Die Hard?
05:35Why haven't you seen Die Hard?
05:36I don't know.
05:37I just haven't.
05:38Come on.
05:39You had to have at least seen some of it.
05:41Nope.
05:43Now, I have a machine gun.
05:45Ho, ho, ho.
05:47Come out to the coast.
05:48We'll get together.
05:49Have a few laughs.
05:51None of this makes any sense to me.
05:53Oh, yeah.
05:53And when he takes the gun off his back and he's like, yippie-ki-yay mother...
05:58Actually, he doesn't say that there.
06:00He says it earlier when he's on the radio with Hans.
06:04Yes, you are right.
06:06Forgive me.
06:07Oh, that's okay, bud.
06:09Nope.
06:09Common mistake.
06:10No, it's not.
06:11Nerd!
06:12Do you know every line of the movie?
06:15My brother dared me to memorize it, and I did it, and I loved doing it.
06:20Okay.
06:20Let's hear it.
06:22Hear what?
06:23Die Hard.
06:24Every line.
06:25Go.
06:26You don't like flying, do you?
06:27Don't change the subject.
06:29No, that's the...
06:31Movie is starting.
06:33We're thinking of collaborating with Mike Schmidt on some of his charity work.
06:36I love Philly.
06:37Dirty town.
06:38You gotta go to this barbecue joint under the bridge.
06:41It's a metal can with a fire in it.
06:43Do yourself a favor, get the pigeon.
06:46I'll try.
06:47Ah!
06:48Whoa!
06:49Philly!
06:50Ah, exciting stuff, man!
06:52Woo!
06:53So, you sure you remembered everything for your trip?
06:55Yeah, I think so.
06:56Think that through for a second.
06:59Yeah, Jim's going to Philly tomorrow.
07:01He said he was gonna take me with him, but that was two months ago.
07:03And I haven't heard anything since.
07:06I mean, he said that right?
07:09I'm not just making this up.
07:11Yeah, I was standing right here.
07:13Yeah.
07:14Right, and Jim was standing right there.
07:16That was the day I was mad at Andy about that Michelle Obama thing.
07:20And Jim was all like, oh, sports marketing.
07:23Oh, it's happening.
07:24It's happening.
07:26You know what would be interesting?
07:28If you asked him about it, I wonder what he's saying.
07:32It'd be interesting.
07:34What else could you possibly be forgetting?
07:38Uh...
07:38Things.
07:39People.
07:41You know who's not gonna get to work on some exciting new startup this year?
07:45George Howard Scubb.
07:47AKA the alleged Scranton Strangler.
07:50Because he's in prison for something he may not have done.
07:54I'm sorry, the Scranton who?
07:57The Scrant Strangler.
07:58George Howard Scubb.
07:59If I not told you about the jury, I was on a couple years ago.
08:03Oh, what happened?
08:04I mean, if you can talk about it, obviously.
08:06Because if you can't, I mean, I understand.
08:07I could.
08:08I could talk about it.
08:11Oh.
08:11See you next Christmas.
08:12Sure.
08:13Have a seat.
08:14I would start at the beginning, but I think I need to go farther back.
08:19We're the party planning committee.
08:21And we did not get where we are by playing it safe.
08:25We got here by being risk takers.
08:28And yeah, Dwight's party is gonna be terrible.
08:32Maybe.
08:35Maybe it's not.
08:38Maybe it's going to be great.
08:40And if it's great...
08:45I think we all know what that would mean to us.
08:52Let's do it.
08:53Yes!
08:54Phyllis!
08:55No.
08:56I don't want my name attached to this party.
08:58What does that even mean?
08:59Where would your name appear?
09:00Please, just take my name off of everything.
09:02Just take your name off of everything.
09:04The fire has been called off, my friend.
09:08No one is coming to help you.
09:11You might as well come out and join the others.
09:14Because...
09:14I promise I won't hurt you.
09:19John McClane's not there.
09:21Where did he go?
09:22Z-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
09:24What's that sound?
09:25Tony better go check it out.
09:26Comes running down the corner.
09:27Into one...
09:28Nothing there.
09:29Into another...
09:29Nothing there.
09:30One final corner to go around.
09:33John McClane's not there again?
09:35No.
09:35How is that possible?
09:37Z-na-na-na-na.
09:38The sound he heard before.
09:39Nothing but a band song.
09:41Running in the wind.
09:43All of a sudden...
09:44Drop it, dickhead.
09:44It's the police.
09:45Z-na-na's going to.
09:46It's me.
09:46Oh, yeah? Why not?
09:48Okay, wait. I have to pee.
09:48I'll be right back.
09:49Yeah, sure.
09:50Hey, do you mind if maybe I...
09:51Just keep going?
09:53You mean, like, by yourself?
09:54Yeah.
09:55Just...
09:55Kinda in the flow.
09:58Yeah, sure.
10:00Okay.
10:04Because you hired policemen.
10:05There are rules for policemen.
10:06That's what my captain keeps telling me.
10:08Out of the face!
10:10Out of the face!
10:18My pistol!
10:19My pistol!
10:25Ahem.
10:26The party planning committee, minus Angela,
10:29has decided that we're all going to do...
10:33Dwight's Christmas.
10:34Yes!
10:36Yeah!
10:37Yeah!
10:37Okay!
10:38Yes!
10:39It's a Christmas miracle!
10:41Yeah!
10:42Woo-hoo!
10:43Dwight, there is one rule that you need to take very seriously.
10:46Uh-huh.
10:47And that is...
10:48Uh-oh.
10:50...that there are no rules.
10:51You have never been cooler.
10:54Woo-hoo!
10:56Yeah!
10:56Woo-hoo!
11:03Best Christmas ever!
11:05Woo!
11:07Best Christmas ever!
11:09You're welcome.
11:11Thank you.
11:18And Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas has officially begun.
11:23Ugh!
11:24What is this stuff?
11:25Lava?
11:25That is glue vine, otherwise known as glow wine, also used to sterilize medical instruments.
11:30And, interesting factoid, this is the very spoon that guided my soft skull through the birth canal when I was
11:38born.
11:38Enjoy.
11:39What is it?
11:40Don't touch it.
11:43Somebody's found the hog maw!
11:45What?
11:46It's a Pennsylvania Dutch specialty.
11:48Hog maw.
11:49That's a beauty, isn't it?
11:50I don't even want to tell you what it's made of until after you try it.
11:53Ugh.
11:53I'm not eating mystery meat.
11:55It is stuffed pig stomach.
11:57And after we finish it, we get to break the pig rib.
11:59Can't wait.
12:00Weird.
12:01Where are the sugar cookies?
12:02Where's the karaoke machine?
12:03This is austere, Meredith.
12:06This is celebrating Christmas for all of the right reasons.
12:10Cookies and toys and sweets are mere distractions.
12:13I mean, most people don't even know that a candy cane represents a shepherd's crook,
12:18which I assure you does not taste like peppermint.
12:20It tastes like sheep feces.
12:22How would anyone even know?
12:23Have you ever tasted a shepherd's crook?
12:25I don't know.
12:26Is it what you expected?
12:27I feel like...
12:29Dwight is holding a candle and reading a poem.
12:32So happy right now.
12:36Der einen not der helllicht kein.
12:40Wait, what is that I hear?
12:42Someone on the roof?
12:43How strange.
12:45Excuse me.
12:46I have to run to my car to take a dump.
12:52I wish my car had a bathroom.
12:55Let Heinrich plant the detonators and Theo prepare the vault.
12:58After that...
12:58Ah!
12:59That wasn't the line.
13:01I'm sorry, Pete.
13:02That is transcribed by some fan.
13:04They make mistakes.
13:05I don't know.
13:06This looks pretty legit.
13:09Oh my gosh.
13:10I just got an email from Andy.
13:12That means they hit land.
13:14What up, shorty?
13:15We got in last night.
13:17Sold the boat.
13:18Went out.
13:18Got drunk.
13:20Saw a life of Pi.
13:22Got super depressed and introspective.
13:25Gonna hang out here a while.
13:28Maybe a couple of weeks.
13:30Figure this whole life thing out.
13:32Maybe see Hobbit.
13:34Waits.
13:38Hey, everything okay?
13:41So what comes next?
13:44Right, um...
13:45Okay.
13:46So he says, uh...
13:48After we call the police, they'll waste hours trying to negotiate.
13:51You should just watch the movie.
13:52That makes much more sense.
13:54Or we can just sit and talk, though.
13:56No.
13:56No more talking.
13:57It's movie time.
13:59I mean, are you sure?
14:02Um...
14:02Yeah, I probably have a copy or two in my car.
14:05Oh, great.
14:05Great.
14:06So we're watching Die Hard now.
14:08Good.
14:08This is a good plan.
14:10Okay.
14:12Here's the thing about moonlight.
14:14It's not sunlight.
14:16I love this hog, mama.
14:18Dwight said it's hog maw.
14:21What is maw?
14:22It's the lining of the stomach of me.
14:25Oh!
14:26Judgment is nigh.
14:27For the belshnickel is I.
14:30Yes, he is finally nigh.
14:32I am nigh!
14:33Every year, my grandfather would dress up as belshnickel at Christmas.
14:37He was...okay at it.
14:41I am great.
14:43You know how they say some people were born to be bad?
14:45Well, I was born to be belshnickel.
14:48Oh!
14:50Belshnickel has traveled from distant lands to discover how all the boys and the girls have been behaving this last
14:56year.
14:57Oh!
14:59Too much droodle.
15:00So he's kind of like Santa, except dirty and worse.
15:03No, much better.
15:04No one fears Santa the way they fear belshnickel.
15:07Wow.
15:08That's my favorite part of Christmas, the authority.
15:10And the fear.
15:10Yes, exactly.
15:12Come on, Dwight.
15:13You're making this up.
15:14No.
15:15This is a real thing.
15:16Belshnickel is a crotchety fur-clad gift giver related to other companions of St. Nicholas and the folklore of southwestern
15:22Germany.
15:23Yes, of course.
15:24Okay, great.
15:25Seriously, you guys?
15:26Now you believe in Dwight's traditions?
15:27When some Democrat looks it up on Wikipedia?
15:30His partner, Shvate Pete, or Black Peter, a slave boy, often portrayed in colorful pantaloons and blackface.
15:38Uh-uh.
15:39No, Dwight.
15:40No.
15:41Oh, come on.
15:42We don't blindly stick to every outmoded aspect of our traditions.
15:46Come on, get with the spirit of it, you guys!
15:56Okay, Carl was actually a ballet dancer in real life.
15:59Isn't that crazy?
16:00Mm-hmm.
16:04Jim, that guy.
16:07You gotta stick to your word.
16:10Like, when you say something to a buddy, a real buddy, what are you gonna do, lie to your buddy?
16:18It's awful.
16:19Take a bowl and pass it down.
16:21Thank you, Dwight.
16:22These are nice.
16:23No.
16:23These are gift bowls.
16:24When you receive a gift, it will go in the bowl, but the bowls must be returned at the end.
16:28They're a set.
16:29Now, hold your bowls forward.
16:32The belge nickel will decide if you are impish or admirable.
16:37Oh, it's like, naughty or nice.
16:39No.
16:40Impish or admirable.
16:41What's the difference then?
16:42Impish is like when you're really bad, and admirable is like when you're very kind.
16:48Naughty or nice.
16:49No, it's different than that.
16:51Quick question.
16:51Do you just decide who gets what in the moment, or did you make a list?
16:54I decided earlier.
16:56Oh, nice.
16:56Did you check that list?
16:57Of course I checked it.
16:58But more than once?
16:59Because you could have made a mistake.
17:00I checked it more than once.
17:01Okay, so you made a list, you checked it twice, and now you're gonna find out who's...
17:05Impish or admirable.
17:06Damn.
17:06Phyllis Vance, cheer or fear?
17:09Belge nickel is here.
17:10I judge your year as...
17:14admirable.
17:17There you are.
17:18Hmm, what are these?
17:20It's a set of rubber gaskets for canning jars.
17:22I'd rather have the bowl.
17:23You can't have the bowl!
17:25Oscar Martinez, cheer or fear?
17:29Belge nickel is here.
17:30I judge your year as impish.
17:35Ow!
17:36You hit people with that thing?
17:37No, I'm carrying around the stick in order to look cool.
17:40For the kinder.
17:42Ooh.
17:43Mouse trap.
17:44In a head-to-head contest, people prefer belge nickel over Santa every time.
17:48There aren't as many songs about him, but I attribute that more to rhyming difficulties.
17:52My brother and I wrote one once.
17:54It was about a fickle pickle salesman who would tickle you for a nickel.
17:59Ippish!
18:00Ooh.
18:01Ooh.
18:02Ooh.
18:03Stop giggling.
18:05It tickles.
18:07No, it doesn't...
18:09Oh, you know what?
18:10I gotta go.
18:10Stop giggling.
18:11Oh, really already?
18:13It's a punishment.
18:14Hey, where are you going?
18:15I have to go to Philly, but this was amazing, okay?
18:18But you work tomorrow.
18:19Yeah, I know.
18:20I just like to settle in and get a good night's sleep.
18:22But we were gonna break the pig rib.
18:23Oh.
18:24Remember?
18:25That's right.
18:27No matter.
18:29Belge nickel cares not about this.
18:31Off with you.
18:32Perfect.
18:33Merry Christmas, everybody.
18:34Wait, wait, wait, wait.
18:35Don't you want to know your present?
18:37You know what?
18:38Yeah.
18:38Have at it.
18:39Jim Halpert, cheer or fear?
18:42Belge nickel is here.
18:44I judge her here as impish.
18:46Oh!
18:47Are you nuts?
18:48I judge her impish!
18:48Ow!
18:49Ow!
18:49Okay, that is three.
18:50And you didn't hit anybody that hard.
18:52They're not abandoning the party!
18:53Hey!
18:54All right!
18:55That's enough.
18:56I'm done, okay?
18:57Impish!
18:58Ah!
19:00Belge nickel!
19:01I gotta run out early, too.
19:03Oh.
19:05Oh.
19:06What was that?
19:08Now I'm gonna be all whipped for my first day of work.
19:12God.
19:15One second.
19:18Oh.
19:18Well?
19:20This is it?
19:22Probably never gonna see you again.
19:24Shut up.
19:25I'm trying to be serious.
19:26Okay, sorry, sorry.
19:30I can't believe this is actually happening.
19:32Listen, thank you so much for putting that all together.
19:35That was the perfect last Christmas party.
19:41All right.
19:42Wish me luck.
19:43Okay.
19:43Bye.
19:45Good luck.
19:46You're gonna be great.
19:47I'll call you when I get in.
19:48Okay.
19:48All right.
19:50Love you.
19:50Love you.
19:52Love you.
20:21What's going on?
20:22Party's over.
20:23You quit on Christmas, Christmas quits on you.
20:28And guess what, kids?
20:30Belge nickel isn't real.
20:32It's me, Dwight.
20:38We found some old decorations in the warehouse.
20:42Oscar ran to the store for some food and drink.
20:44And I dipped into my stash of eggnog.
20:46I guess they needed me after all.
20:48It's like in It's a Wonderful Life,
20:50when Jimmy Stewart realizes that all those people
20:52at the building alone were just jerks,
20:54and he was the real hero.
20:57Kevin.
20:57Kevin.
20:58Ah.
20:59Stop it.
21:00Thank you.
21:03There you go.
21:04You have to do it.
21:07Oh, good.
21:08Good for you.
21:09All right.
21:10Let's go again.
21:11I love it.
21:12This will keep you.
21:13I love it.
21:14I love it.
21:15This will keep you open.
21:17You look good.
21:18Mm-hmm.
21:20Mm-hmm.
21:20All right.
21:21That's great.
21:22Oh, yeah.
21:23Awesome.
21:24Yes.
21:25Oh, my God.
21:27Ah.
21:27Again.
21:28No.
21:28No.
21:29That's horrible.
21:31You can't do it.
21:32No.
21:32Oh, it sounds like the party's starting up out there.
21:36Yeah.
21:37Yeah.
21:37So, anyway, the entire jury wants me to vote guilty.
21:42But that night, I did a little research of my own
21:44and forget everything you thought you knew about fingerprinting.
21:47Meredith is a little cute.
21:49I'm just realizing.
21:52She got like an Emma Stone thing.
21:59Boo!
22:31No.
22:32I don't care.
22:33Guess how much I care
22:33on a scale of 1-10.
22:35Zero.
22:35Damnit.
22:46I'm gonna tell Jim to go
22:47f**k himself.
22:53Do you think Andy would ever
22:54jump off an exploding building
22:55tied to a hose for me?
22:59Yeah.
23:01Definitivamente.
23:10Oh no, come here. Hey, hey.
23:20I'm still Andy's girlfriend.
23:23Oh, yeah, of course. I know.
23:27But you can leave your arm.
23:32Yeah.
23:55Dwight, want me to get you some eggnog?
23:57No, thanks. I'll just have another Duma-troll.
24:01Jim taught me this really cool way to take it.
24:03You crush it into a powder and you snort it up your butt.
24:06Yep, I did say that.
24:08Jim!
24:08What's going on? Where's the bell-schnickel?
24:11Oh! Oh my God!
24:15What are you doing?
24:17Last time I saw you, you were whipping me out of the building.
24:19Shh! Let's not speak of that.
24:21The pig rib!
24:23We could totally break the pig rib!
24:25I'm gonna dig it out of the trash!
24:28What happened? Did you miss your bus?
24:31Well, I just missed my wife.
24:35I found it!
24:37And I found out that there's a bus at 5 a.m.
24:39And I found out that there's a bus at 5 a.m.
24:39Oh my God!
24:42Come on! Come on! Come on!
24:48Come on! Come on! Come on!
24:49Come on! Come on! Come on!
24:50Come on! Come on! Come on!
24:53Damn it!
24:55Jim got the bigger half!
24:57I actually am a little bit upset that Jim got the big half.
25:00Looking at it now, I wish he hadn't come back.
25:05Back for more, huh?
25:07Ooh! Nogget! Let me get some nogget!
25:14Thanks, Phyllis.
25:16You!
25:18Oh, hey, man!
25:19Oh, you know what? Before I forget again,
25:21I talked to the guys about hiring you.
25:23They're gonna bring you in for an interview.
25:24Thank you.
25:32That's great.
25:33Right?
25:35Thanks, man.
25:36Hey, of course.
25:38I shall come by your convenience.
25:41Thank you, sir.
25:43Woo!
25:43Go get him!
25:44Oh!
25:51Very impish.
26:02Two dimes, seven nickels, and one...
26:04Well, okay, no, that doesn't add up.
26:06It was one quarter, and...
26:08Shhh!
26:10What? I was just explaining what...
26:12Shhh!
26:13But why wouldn't it be...
26:14Shhh!
26:14What did you do? Why?
26:16Okay?
26:16No.
26:16What is it?
26:18Okay.
26:20Are you gonna kiss me?
26:23Yes!
26:37Toby, kisses like a fiend.
26:40I don't even know what just happened.
26:43I don't even know what just happened.
27:10What?
27:10What?
27:11I don't know what just happened.
27:11Has a ride has one.
27:15What is it?
27:17I didn't know what stuff happened.
27:17What's the night.
27:17Oh, you know.
27:19The night.
27:20Gracias por ver el video.
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