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The King of Queens S03E11 Ctrl Episode 11 Engsub
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00:13Hey, how you doing?
00:14Fine, thanks.
00:16Hello, I just moved in next door.
00:18So you did.
00:20Excuse me.
00:28Hey.
00:30You're not going to believe who's outside.
00:32Lou Ferrigno.
00:33Lou Ferrigno, get out of here.
00:34I'm telling you, it's him, the Incredible Hulk.
00:37He just moved in next door.
00:38You're crazy.
00:50I was just looking for something.
00:52Oh, here it is.
00:53Great, got it.
01:06Hey.
01:07Hey.
01:09Oh, everything looks good in here.
01:12Sanitation.
01:20My eyes are getting weary.
01:24My back is getting tight.
01:26I'm sitting here in traffic on the Queensborough Bridge tonight.
01:31But I don't care, cause all I want to do
01:37Is cash my check and drive right home to you
01:42Cause maybe all my life I will be driving home to you
02:03Hey guys, Merry Christmas.
02:05Can I help you with something?
02:06I got great deals here.
02:07Uh, yeah, actually looking for a gift for the wifey.
02:10Um, you know what?
02:11Can I see those two cameras right there?
02:13These are both excellent.
02:14I have them both at home.
02:17Does this one have a Zoom?
02:19Yes, it does.
02:20It doesn't say Zoom on the sticker.
02:22Then it doesn't have it.
02:24So, can I ring you up?
02:26Hang on a second.
02:27Deke.
02:29What do you think of this one?
02:30It's nice.
02:31Hey, maybe I got Kelly one too.
02:33Whoa, 80 bucks?
02:34I can't do that, man.
02:35She loses everything.
02:39Okay, I can do 40.
02:40I'm gonna go for this one.
02:42Oh.
02:42Well, thank you for making my camera look that much better.
02:45And thank you for making me look good
02:47Whenever we walk down the street together.
02:51Okay, I was just kidding
02:52and you went to a really dark place.
02:58Hey, Arthur.
03:01Douglas, tell me if this sounds repetitive.
03:04Dear Mr. Ferrigno,
03:06I thought your work on The Incredible Hulk
03:09was, in a word, incredible.
03:14Why are you writing him a letter?
03:16It's going with my screenplay.
03:18I think Lou Ferrigno is just the man
03:21to get it produced.
03:22Oh, Arthur, not the screenplay again.
03:24Don't give it to him.
03:25Just don't.
03:26Why not?
03:27He's our neighbor.
03:28I don't want him to think we're freaks.
03:30Oh.
03:31And I suppose Mr. Gary Sinise
03:33thought I was a freak
03:34when I gave him a copy?
03:35You threw it at him on the subway
03:37and yes.
03:39Listen.
03:39Once word gets out
03:41that Lou Ferrigno lives here,
03:43he'll have 50 scripts on his doorstep.
03:45I'm going to make sure
03:46the first script in that pile
03:48is Reconsidering Sandy.
03:52The title doesn't even make sense.
03:54I read it
03:55and there's no one in there named Sandy.
03:58You obviously don't understand
04:00how the business works.
04:05Hey.
04:06Hey, hon.
04:08You know, uh,
04:09how come you never greet me at the door
04:10naked like the other wives?
04:14What other wives?
04:16I don't know.
04:17You read about them.
04:19I'll get on that.
04:21Okay, almost done with my shopping.
04:23I just got to get something for Kelly.
04:25Hey, who couldn't use
04:26a totes umbrella, hmm?
04:28No, it has to be nice.
04:30Last year she got us
04:31those crystal candlesticks
04:32and we got her toilet paper
04:33that looks like money.
04:36Speaking of guests,
04:36I got you a gift today
04:37that's going to make you
04:38one happy lady.
04:40Really?
04:42What is it?
04:43Oh, no, I'll never tell.
04:44Come on, what is it?
04:44No, it's a surprise,
04:45but I will say this.
04:46It's really, really nice.
04:48All right, give me a clip.
04:49Uh, okay.
04:51Well, it's about yay, big, big.
04:52Is it a camera?
05:01Damn it!
05:02How'd you get a camera from this?
05:05He kind of held it up to your face
05:06and I think he made a snapping motion.
05:10You couldn't just leave it alone, could you?
05:12You had to ask for a clue.
05:13Did I know you were gonna mime
05:15taking a picture?
05:17So what do we do?
05:18Do I give it to you now
05:18or do we wait till Christmas?
05:21Well, if you give it to me now,
05:22I could actually take pictures
05:24during Christmas.
05:24Like I could bring it
05:25to my office holiday party.
05:27I guess.
05:28And I could take a picture of you
05:30doing your traditional
05:31Santa stuck-in-the-fireplace gag.
05:34That should be captured on film, yes.
05:39Wait here.
05:39It's in the closet.
05:43Hey, it looks like more passengers this trip.
05:45Keep your fingers crossed.
05:47We may have some luck.
05:48You turned on the TV?
05:49I'm giving you a gift.
05:50I'm sorry.
05:51Okay, okay.
05:52All right, well, anyways,
05:54Merry Christmas.
05:55And just remember,
05:56if we could have held out
05:57till Christmas morning,
05:58there'd be a beautiful bow
05:59on that plastic bag.
06:02It is so nice.
06:04You like it?
06:04Yeah, I love it.
06:06See, I knew you'd like it
06:06because it's got a wrist strap
06:07and it's also,
06:08you can hook it up to your belt
06:09and it comes with batteries,
06:11but like whatever, you know, whatever.
06:13This is a great camera.
06:15You did really good.
06:18So if I guess what you got me,
06:19can I get it now?
06:20Okay.
06:22A snow saucer?
06:31Sure I can't get you anything, Lou?
06:33Some Nilla wafers?
06:35No, thank you.
06:36We have some very nice popsicles
06:37if you're looking for something light.
06:41That's all right.
06:42So, let's talk turkey.
06:44What are we thinking?
06:46Do we like?
06:48Well, Arthur, I read
06:50Reconsidering Sandy
06:51and to be honest with you,
06:53I was pretty confused.
06:57Confused about what?
06:58Well, first of all,
07:00there are three different characters
07:01named Mike.
07:03Let me ask you a question, Lou.
07:07Have you ever met
07:08anyone else named Lou?
07:11Well, yes.
07:13Slice of life, my friend.
07:15I just writes it
07:16the way I sees it.
07:18So, what's the next step?
07:19Can you get us a meeting
07:20at the William Morris office?
07:22I don't think so.
07:29Oh, I get it.
07:32I understand your problem.
07:35Look,
07:36even though you're not right
07:38for the lead character
07:39of Smitty,
07:40don't worry.
07:42I have a very nice part
07:43in mind for you.
07:46Henchman number two.
07:50That's another thing.
07:51There is no henchman
07:52number one.
07:55Oh.
07:56Hi, Lou.
07:57How are you?
07:58Good.
07:58So, how are you
07:59liking the neighborhood?
08:00It's great.
08:01I grew up around here.
08:02Great to be back.
08:03Uh-huh.
08:04Um,
08:05is he bothering you?
08:07Darling,
08:08can't you see
08:08I'm in a business meeting here?
08:10Excuse me.
08:13Good Lord.
08:15You see what's going on
08:16in there?
08:17Yeah, I see it.
08:18I went in there
08:18for a ring ding
08:19and your father
08:19ran at me like a badger.
08:24Today was gift day
08:25at work.
08:26Check it out.
08:27Ah, it's ziggity.
08:28You hit the mother load.
08:29What do we got
08:30going on here, huh?
08:30Well, I got some wine,
08:32got a basket of, um,
08:33soaps and skin creams
08:34from one of the partners.
08:35Um, some homemade biscotti.
08:37Homemade?
08:39Cheapo.
08:41Oh, I didn't even
08:41open this one.
08:42This one's from
08:43Bruzan.
08:44He just made partner.
08:45He gave one of these
08:45to all the secretaries.
08:46What is it?
08:47What is it?
08:47I don't know.
08:52It's
08:53another camera.
08:56That's a small one.
08:57Is it like a keychain one?
08:59I don't know.
09:00It's called a stamp.
09:03Let the cereal box
09:03that come out of it.
09:05Yeah, I know, right?
09:07Actually, it's got
09:07a panoramic setting.
09:09That's kind of cool.
09:11Does it?
09:13It takes this new
09:14kind of film.
09:14I guess it just
09:16pops right in there
09:17and, oh, look at that.
09:18It's already winding.
09:21Wow, you can
09:22hook it up to a computer.
09:25Huh.
09:29Huh.
09:29Oh.
09:33But the one you got me
09:35is totally, you know.
09:37Totally what?
09:40Well, you know,
09:41yours has that whole
09:43strap thing.
09:44You know what you got here?
09:45You got yourself a better camera.
09:47No, come on.
09:48Better.
09:49Who's to say better, huh?
09:50We're taking pictures
09:51of the same thing.
09:52Doesn't make the people
09:53look any better, right?
09:56Actually, this scamp
09:57can backlight you
09:57like an angel.
09:58Come on.
09:59Don't be ridiculous.
10:00No, I love your camera
10:01and I'm taking your camera
10:03to my office party
10:04tomorrow night, okay?
10:05Honey?
10:07All right.
10:08Okay.
10:09Darling,
10:10I'm losing Lou here.
10:11Would you mind
10:12making him up
10:13a 12-egg omelet?
10:21Okay.
10:23Time to party on down
10:25with the same people
10:25I see 51 hours a week.
10:29Thank you so much
10:30for my scamp.
10:31I just love it.
10:32It's just so cool.
10:34It was so above and beyond.
10:36Hey, it's a great little camera
10:38for a great little worker.
10:41Okay.
10:42Okay, here we go.
10:43Now, let's take some pictures
10:45with your great camera, huh?
10:47Okay.
10:48Okay.
10:48I got it right here.
10:50We'll just load in some film.
10:55Okay.
10:56Here we go.
10:57Easy as pie.
10:59Make sure.
10:59Okay.
10:59Ow.
10:59Okay.
11:00That pinched a little bit.
11:01Yeah.
11:01You got to line the wheels
11:02up on the sprocketing thing.
11:03Okay, good.
11:04There you go.
11:05All right.
11:05Good.
11:05That was easy.
11:06Okay.
11:07Okay.
11:08Hey, Carrie.
11:09Oh, hi, Amy.
11:10Doug, do you remember Amy?
11:10Oh, sure.
11:11Hi.
11:11How are you?
11:12So, I just loaded up some film.
11:14Let me get a shot of you two.
11:15All right?
11:15Okay.
11:16All right.
11:17Okay.
11:17Here we go.
11:21Actually, you know what?
11:22I'm looking for the flash thing.
11:24You should have brought your scamp.
11:25It's totally intuitive.
11:28Oh, no.
11:29Yeah.
11:29Doug got me this great camera.
11:30I'm going to use this.
11:31Yeah.
11:32Yeah.
11:33Okay.
11:35Okay.
11:35It just has to warm up.
11:37It just has to warm up.
11:37A second.
11:49Still warming up?
11:50Yeah.
11:51Yeah.
11:53Hey.
11:55Holidays.
11:58Okay.
11:58Okay.
11:59It's ready.
11:59Here we go.
11:59Hey, you guys.
12:00You mind if we jump in?
12:01Oh, sure.
12:02Okay.
12:02Here we go.
12:03Okay.
12:03All right.
12:04I'm going to want a copy of this one.
12:06Okay.
12:07Make sure you get the Christmas tree in the picture.
12:08Oh, I don't think I can put all that in there.
12:11You know what?
12:11Everybody squish.
12:16Squish some more.
12:17Where's your stamp?
12:18It's got that awesome panoramic setting.
12:22No, I got this one.
12:23This one's great.
12:24Okay.
12:25Here we go.
12:25Amy, I'm only getting half your face, honey.
12:27You know what?
12:28Everybody can fit a lot better without me in there, okay?
12:30I'm going to go grab some food.
12:32Okay.
12:33You know what?
12:33Everybody just hang on one second.
12:35Okay.
12:36Here we go.
12:37Panoramic setting.
12:38And everybody say, Candy Cane.
12:40Okay.
12:41Candy Cane.
12:42Candy Cane.
12:44Oh, my God.
12:47Roy, you're a scamp?
12:48No.
12:50What is this?
12:53You know what?
12:54Well, just do me a favor, okay?
12:56Return the camera I bought you.
12:58Okay.
12:59You know what happened?
13:00I must have put this in my purse, and then I forgot that I...
13:02Carrie.
13:03That I...
13:03Take the picture with the camera you love.
13:25I have no idea what this is.
13:27I really don't.
13:28I don't know.
13:30I'm going to check it out here.
13:32Oh, the Titleized 3-Wood.
13:34This is great.
13:35Douglas, smile and hold it up.
13:41God, this thing is a joy to use.
13:45Honey, you sure you're okay with this whole camera thing?
13:48Yeah, I know I got nutty at the party the other night, but I don't know.
13:51Why shouldn't you keep the better camera, right?
13:53Plus, bonus, gave me a chance to get you even a better gift.
13:57Oh, that's probably Lou.
13:59I asked him to step by.
13:59You two, just sit, watch, and learn.
14:06Lou!
14:07Hi.
14:07Glad you could stop by.
14:10I have a present for you.
14:13Arthur, the cheese wheel was plenty.
14:18Go ahead.
14:19Open it.
14:19Okay.
14:21Oh.
14:23Your screenplay.
14:24My revised screenplay.
14:26You'll notice the lead character, Smitty, is now a 250-pound weightlifter.
14:32You played your hand well, Mr. Ferrigno.
14:36Arthur, I really can't do anything with this script.
14:38I'm sorry.
14:39I have to go.
14:40Have a nice holiday.
14:42Take these, Lou.
14:43Bye.
14:48The game continues.
14:52Come on, Lou, gift time.
14:53Let's go.
14:53Open it up.
14:54Okay, okay, okay, okay.
14:54Okay, okay, okay.
14:55Okay, okay, okay.
15:00Hi.
15:11Wow.
15:14Giraffes.
15:14Yeah.
15:14That is great.
15:16Because giraffe's your favorite animal.
15:18Your boss is not going to be giving you that, huh?
15:19No, he won't.
15:22So you like it?
15:23I love it.
15:24So try it on.
15:30Honey, I love this camera.
15:32What a great gift.
15:34Yeah, well, I thought you might like it.
15:36Oh, it's another one for me.
15:39This one is from Doug and Carrie.
15:40Hey.
15:44It's another camera.
15:46What?
15:47Oh, this is a really nice one.
15:48This came in a box.
15:50Yours just came in plastic.
15:51Wait a second.
15:53This is the same camera Doug gave to Carrie.
15:55She turned around and gave it to you.
15:56What?
15:57How do you know?
15:58Because Doug and I went out to buy cameras together.
16:00Look, the film's already in it.
16:02And they took a picture.
16:03Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
16:05You were at the store with Doug,
16:06and then you saw him buy a better camera for Carrie,
16:08and then you bought me this one?
16:10You lose cameras.
16:17Oh, ho, hi.
16:18Hi.
16:19Merry Christmas, honey.
16:20Oh, hi, baby.
16:21Oh, thank you.
16:22And I think there might be a few things for you under there.
16:25Oh, by the way,
16:25did I just see Arnold Schwarzenegger shoveling snow next door?
16:29Before I go.
16:32So we missed you this morning.
16:33Oh, I know.
16:34I'm sorry.
16:35I had a date.
16:37On Christmas morning?
16:38Yeah, it was with this Jewish guy,
16:39and it was like the only time he was free.
16:42Yeah, it doesn't matter.
16:43He didn't like me because I'm not Jewish.
16:45So did you get any good gifts?
16:47I got this from Doug.
16:51Oh, my Lord.
16:52What are those, giraffes?
16:54Six of them.
16:56It's like a car crash.
16:57It's hard to look at, yet I can't look away.
17:01Not over yet.
17:03Ooh, big one.
17:06I can't believe he taught you this.
17:08Mm-hmm.
17:09What, what, is he mad at you about something?
17:12Actually, you know what?
17:12He was mad at me,
17:13but then he said everything was fine.
17:15Oh, he was?
17:17I just meant it as a joke,
17:18but maybe this sweater was meant to send a message.
17:27So what time are Deacon and Kelly coming over?
17:29Oh, they should be here any minute.
17:31I gotta hurry up.
17:33What are we eating?
17:33A Christmas goose?
17:35I got chicken.
17:37Damn.
17:37I could really go for goose.
17:39Or a tray of brownies.
17:45You're not gonna wear your giraffe sweater?
17:48Um, actually, I was gonna wear this, because, um, I...
17:51Come on, babe, here.
17:52On the giraffe sweater.
17:54This would be great.
17:55I think that I would really look good with those pants, too.
17:58Black goes with everything.
18:00Honey, um,
18:02are you sure you're not so mad about this whole camera thing?
18:07Not at all.
18:08Are you sure?
18:09Because, because you do this sometimes.
18:10You, you bottle things up,
18:12and then sometimes they come out in these little hostile ways.
18:16What, what do you mean?
18:20Oh, wait a second.
18:22You, you don't like the sweater?
18:24Uh, well, I...
18:26Well, you think the giraffe sweater was hostile?
18:32You, you, you tell me.
18:33You think I bought you a bad sweater on purpose,
18:35because it's still upset about a camera?
18:36Look, like, my sweater is so ugly,
18:39it could have only been bought as a joke?
18:41Wow.
18:41Oh, my God.
18:43A beautiful giraffe sweater, a joke.
18:45All right.
18:46Come on, come on, come on.
18:47Look at my closet.
18:48You could see why...
18:49Maybe I would wonder...
18:51why giraffes?
18:52You said they were your favorite animal!
18:54At the zoo!
18:55That doesn't mean I want to be one!
18:59You know what?
18:59I'm sorry I bought you a great camera
19:01and what I thought was a great sweater.
19:03Obviously, I bombed again.
19:04No, no, no, Doug.
19:05No, listen to me.
19:06I, I'm sorry.
19:06I, I take it back.
19:07I love the sweater.
19:08You know what?
19:08I'm gonna put it on.
19:09No, no, no, now you're not allowed to.
19:10No, no, no, no, no.
19:11Hey, you know what?
19:11I may not have great taste,
19:13but I got great Christmas spirit,
19:14which is more than I can say for you.
19:16I'm going down to greet our guests now.
19:19Police Navidad.
19:23Come on, Cal.
19:24Remember when you lost those Ray-Bans?
19:25You told me I should only buy you cheap stuff.
19:27Well, I guess you took that to heart.
19:30I'm wearing it.
19:31I love dress.
19:32Wearing this makes me feel closer to them.
19:34The more you talk, the more I hate.
19:36Hey, Merry Christmas.
19:38Hey.
19:39Here's a bud cake.
19:40Oh, what are those, poppy seeds?
19:42Don't you hate the way they get stuck in your teeth?
19:43Come in.
19:44Yes, let me take that.
19:45All right.
19:48Why do you have giraffes on their sweater?
19:51Well, because they're tall and spotted and just so darn fun.
19:59Thanks a lot.
20:00What's the matter?
20:01Why'd you give that better camera to Kelly when you know I bought her one?
20:04What better camera?
20:05The one you bought when we went to the camera store.
20:07You know I bought her a piece of crap.
20:10I'll be right back.
20:12You gave my camera to Kelly?
20:14They know?
20:15Yeah.
20:15Deacon was with me when I bought it for you.
20:17Well, you told me to get rid of it.
20:18I said return it.
20:20Now Deacon's mad at me because he bought a less nice camera for Kelly.
20:23This camera's bitten me in the ass twice.
20:25I'm out of ass cheeks.
20:29All right.
20:30Is Arthur here?
20:31Yeah.
20:31Hold on.
20:32Yo, Doug.
20:33There's someone here looking for Arthur.
20:38Hey.
20:40Aren't you, uh...
20:41Yes.
20:44Oh, what a surprise.
20:46Would you like some chicken?
20:48I know how you weightlifters like your chicken.
20:52How did you get your script into my bathroom?
20:55Pretty clever, huh?
20:56If you're like me, you do most of your reading in the john.
21:00So you broke into my house?
21:02I thought you'd like my moxie.
21:05Apologize to them.
21:06It's not all my fault.
21:07Kelly, honey, I barely used the camera.
21:09Why did you say anything to them?
21:11I didn't know he was gonna go back and tell her.
21:13So, Lou, what do you say?
21:14Look, I just moved in.
21:16I have a million things to do.
21:18I have even finished unpacking.
21:19Come on.
21:20Let's read a scene together.
21:21It'll come alive for you.
21:23Would you stop it?
21:24Oh, God.
21:28Look, I'm sorry.
21:30Uh, it's Christmas.
21:31We shouldn't be fighting.
21:33Yeah, let me have that.
21:34I'll read it.
21:36Have a nice holiday.
21:38Merry Christmas, everybody.
21:44Everyone.
21:46Lou Ferrigno's right.
21:52We shouldn't be fighting.
21:53It's Christmas.
21:55We're getting all worked up over presents.
21:57I'm sorry, baby.
21:58Yeah.
21:59Me too.
22:00All right.
22:00Come on.
22:00Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.
22:05Doug, I love the sweater.
22:07I do.
22:08And do you know why?
22:10Because you gave it to me, and I love you.
22:13Well, thank you.
22:13I love you too, and thank you for my golf club.
22:19Well, this looks great.
22:20No, thank you.
22:21It's wonderful.
22:22You want some money?
22:22What did you give him some money?
22:23All right.
22:24So I guess I'm getting the snow saucer for my birthday.
22:27I guess I'm getting the snow saucer for my birthday.
23:02You're riding high now, big man.
23:05But I'll see you again on your way back down.
23:08You're riding high now, big man.
23:10I'm going home.
23:29I'm getting the snow saucer for my birthday.
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