00:12This is the story of my brave, foolish friend, Harry Dean.
00:17Mr. Dean's work as an art curator in London had gone, he felt, largely unappreciated.
00:23He told me of countless insults suffered at the hands of his employer, Lionel Shabandar, media tycoon, art collector, and
00:33an absolute brute of a fellow.
00:36The plan relied on securing the aid of one P.J. Pusnowski.
00:41Find this, Pusnowski, Mr. Dean told me, and it would all fall nicely into place.
00:51Welcome to London.
00:53Before we throw you into the thick of it, I should give you a little bit of the history.
00:59Monet's Haystacks.
01:01On September the 15th, 1891, during the course of one very productive day, the master Impressionist finished your grandfather.
01:10For the next 67 years, the whereabouts of Haystack's Dask has proved one of the art world's most tantalizing mysteries.
01:16And what is all this to Shabandar, a man of outsized appetites and enormous enthusiasms and no few eccentricities, an
01:23avid nudist, a case in point.
01:26Owing to his considerable fortune and my not inconsiderable knowledge, he has now assembled the most important collection of Impressionist
01:31masterpieces currently in private hands.
01:33And the prize?
01:36His ownership of the one has merely whet his appetite for the other.
01:40For years now, Shabandar has been seeking Haystack's Dask with a passion bordering on Monomania.
01:45When he saw that photograph, Shabandar conducted his own investigation into your family history.
01:51Best to let the fish work the hook in himself, eh, Major?
01:53Much the best, Mr. Dean.
01:56We'll want to negotiate the price with you.
01:58You must stick at 12 million.
02:01How?
02:03You'll pay it.
02:05No matter how much you protest.
02:09Be firm.
02:10Be polite, but firm.
02:14So you're saying that's like $800,000 American?
02:18Wow.
02:19Of course we don't have the money yet.
02:21But it's going to work out, right?
02:22Absolutely.
02:23As long as we stay on plan.
02:25Sounds like you really want to stick it to this guy.
02:27Here we are.
02:29Inside is a man.
02:35As I drove the two of them to the most expensive hotel in London, I was rather taken by Miss
02:41Kuznowski.
02:42Her invigorating lack of decorum would have enraptured my younger self.
02:48Still, for the successful execution of the plan, Mr. Dean would require a firm hand to bring her into line.
02:56I won't deny...
02:57Harry's out on his butt, huh?
02:58Yes, Harry is, as you say, out on his butt.
03:02It's a bit of a disappointment, really.
03:05Something a little desperate about the man.
03:07I don't know.
03:08A little shifty, a little weak.
03:09Not that bright.
03:11I like to look a man in the eye.
03:13Lionel Shabandar.
03:14How do you do?
03:14This is what I should like.
03:15What do you fancy?
03:16Just have out with it, you know.
03:18Ain't it easier to live up to that kind of thing when you're rich and you can call all the
03:21shots?
03:21Characters tested in many ways.
03:23Money brings its own burdens.
03:24And you, I'm certain, will pass every test.
03:26Dean?
03:28I don't know.
03:29I think maybe you're just not looking deep enough.
03:32Like Mama always said, if you can't tell the difference between a pig and a javelina, well, you could lose
03:38a big old chunk out of your ass.
03:41Indeed.
03:43A bit of a marvel.
03:45I hope you'll stay on.
03:46Even after the collar, I could use somebody with your qualities.
03:50Well, I guess I got qualities at that.
03:52That you do, Mr. Nasky.
03:54That you do.
03:55For me, for me's sakes, Lionel, this time I think you really are trying to get me drunk with all
04:00that rice wine and all that.
04:02Well, why not?
04:03No more business this evening.
04:04This is the strictly sensual part of the day.
04:06Let's get, as you might say, down, I believe.
04:10Shall we?
04:11Say that one more time, please.
04:13Let us get down.
04:18Well, Lionel, tonight was real, real fun.
04:22It sounds like the past tense.
04:28Bloody tot.
04:37Bloody tot.
04:56there are moments in a life that define a man this was mr dean's he was sprung for action
05:05and yet perfectly capable of blowing it completely here we go
05:26they say you can't put a price on dignity but if you could in harry dean's case
05:34it would be approximately 11 million pounds well that didn't go exactly according to plan
05:43i know it sounds funny coming from me but now i wish you'd let him buy it
05:47just couldn't help myself you know yeah yeah
05:52i'll make it up to you i promise no no no you did your bid i owe you your wages
06:00here we are
06:03well here we are
06:26your ticket i regret that it's economy unrestricted
06:35well goodbye harry goodbye
06:50come here
06:57major
06:58madam
07:13shall we major
07:21no problems then sir security was a little tougher than i'd anticipate
07:25thank you
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