- 13 hours ago
Full Episode of Merry Prince-Mas!
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:06This is the worst Christmas ever.
00:00:13Oh, Belle, I hope I have one more holiday.
00:00:17But if I don't, my dying wish is that you be engaged by Christmas.
00:00:22Well, Grandpa, I am engaged.
00:00:28We're getting married on New Year's.
00:00:30He drove all the way here to New York with me just to meet you.
00:00:33His name is Todd.
00:00:35Let me go get him, okay?
00:00:37Just get some rest.
00:00:38Look.
00:00:41Oh, yeah.
00:00:43That's it, brother.
00:00:48Todd, what are you doing?
00:00:49Oh, hey.
00:00:51Guess this is a bad time to say I want to break up.
00:00:54Todd, what the fuck?
00:00:55Are you cheating on me in front of me?
00:00:57I never want to see you again.
00:00:59Hey.
00:01:01What's her deal?
00:01:07Well, don't worry.
00:01:08Your grandpa's going to make a full recovery.
00:01:11Your engagement gave him the will to live through Christmas.
00:01:17Who am I going to bring home for Christmas?
00:01:19Christmas.
00:01:24I can't believe I have to hire a prostitute to be my fake boyfriend.
00:01:48I can't believe I have to hire a prostitute to be my fake boyfriend.
00:01:49Please, your highness. We can't do this. We must go back to Monrovia for Christmas now.
00:01:56No, Peterson. If I go back now, my mother will have me engaged to some boring European socialite by New
00:02:02Year's.
00:02:02No, I just, for once, I want a normal holiday.
00:02:08Ah, and we have one other issue. Your mother, the Queen, is on the phone now.
00:02:18Hi, Mother.
00:02:19Henry, I want you to come home at once.
00:02:22I can't, Mother, because I'm spending the holidays with my girlfriend.
00:02:30Girlfriend? Nonsense, really. Who is she? Oh, don't tell me. She's American.
00:02:36She is an American. She's an American heiress. A shoe heiress.
00:02:43Yes. The reception, it's bad. Gotta go.
00:02:50Sir, you cannot lie to the Queen like that. Why on earth did you hire a model?
00:02:58Because with the photos of the model you hired, I can prove to my mother that I have a girlfriend,
00:03:04and I can have an American Christmas alone.
00:03:09Well, at least take off that silly hat.
00:03:11No, I like it.
00:03:18What the hell are you doing? You hit me!
00:03:21What's wrong? You hit me!
00:03:22Well, you're the idiot that wasn't paying attention!
00:03:24Who rides a scooter in winter? God, you Americans are so self-involved.
00:03:28Okay, listen, jerkwad. I am late, and I'm trying to meet somebody, and...
00:03:32Shit.
00:03:32He's wearing a Santa hat. He's wearing a Santa hat. He's the prostitute I hired.
00:03:36It's you.
00:03:41This must be the model Peterson hired.
00:03:44Yes.
00:03:45It's me.
00:03:47Alright, why don't we get this photo over with? I don't have time for all the... regality.
00:03:52Hey, wait, why are you taking a photo of me?
00:03:54Why doesn't she know about the photo? She must not be the model Peterson hired.
00:03:59Why don't you just go around taking photos of strangers? That's pretty creepy, you know that, right?
00:04:02Oh my god, she thinks that's creepy.
00:04:05Miss, I'm...
00:04:06Okay, look, I don't know you, and I don't care. I have to be at my grandpa's in an hour.
00:04:09She has no clue, I'm a prince.
00:04:11Look, I can only pay you $5,000 for you to come home with me. You have an email?
00:04:15American girls are so forward.
00:04:17$5,000?
00:04:18Dude, listen, I don't have much time, and that's my entire savings. Do you have a deal or not?
00:04:23Listen, there must be some sort of confusion.
00:04:29One moment.
00:04:31She's just going to keep calling if I don't pick up.
00:04:34Mother, I don't have time for this.
00:04:35I know you're with your new fiancée. I just wanted to call and say she's gorgeous.
00:04:41You have my blessing to stay there for Christmas.
00:04:44I do?
00:04:46That's great. Okay, bye.
00:04:48Oh my god, my mother thinks she's my fiancée.
00:04:51If I go back to Monrovia, I'll be in an arranged marriage with a snob by February.
00:04:55What is the confusion?
00:04:56I pay you to come home with me until Christmas and pretend to be my boyfriend until New Year's.
00:05:00Do we have a deal or not?
00:05:02We've got a deal.
00:05:06You've got a deal.
00:05:08Good. Who do I have Venmo?
00:05:10I don't have a wallet, much less a Venmo.
00:05:13Make something up.
00:05:14Henry!
00:05:15Just Henry.
00:05:16That's the one that comes up.
00:05:20Sent.
00:05:21Now here are the rules.
00:05:22This is my grandpa's last Christmas and he's very sick.
00:05:25I don't have the heart to tell him that I broke up with my boyfriend and any upset could kill
00:05:28him.
00:05:29So no surprises, no lies.
00:05:30And also, I am not having sex with you.
00:05:33Sex?
00:05:34We just met.
00:05:36We just met.
00:05:36This prostitute is weird.
00:05:38It's a long drive to my parents, so I'll meet you there in about six hours.
00:05:41Just show up as a normal American guy who loves Christmas, okay?
00:05:45Oh, and, um, drop the accent.
00:05:50Accent?
00:05:50Your mother wants more pics of your fiancé.
00:05:54I mean this with utmost respect, but what the hell are you doing?
00:05:59Peterson, it's perfect.
00:06:01My mother in the press will leave me alone.
00:06:03I can have a real American Christmas.
00:06:05She doesn't know who I am.
00:06:06I can just be a normal guy.
00:06:08As long as you're discreet about it, no one should know who you are.
00:06:14They won't.
00:06:16We have one hour to find American clothes for my American Christmas.
00:06:20Get some clothes for you and the guards as well.
00:06:22Soon, you and I will be in a lovely place called Buffalo.
00:06:34Oh, sweetie, I'm so glad you're here.
00:06:37Oh, let's get you inside.
00:06:39Well, if it isn't Grandpa's former favorite.
00:06:44Merry Christmas, loser.
00:06:46Are you here solo again?
00:06:51Merry Christmas to you too, Katie.
00:06:54Belle, Katie's gonna need the room with the bigger bed this time.
00:06:57She has a brand new, very rich boyfriend.
00:07:01And you, of course, are coming home alone again.
00:07:06Actually, I am...
00:07:07Don't be silly.
00:07:08Mom, she's just a single loser.
00:07:11Look at her.
00:07:12She's ugly and her snatch is dry.
00:07:16Well, I can see why she's still single.
00:07:19Look at these love handles.
00:07:21Stop.
00:07:22Okay?
00:07:23You know, not all guys like more cushion for the push-in.
00:07:27Fatty.
00:07:28No more cookies for you this Christmas.
00:07:32If you keep it up, I'll shove a cookie up your ass.
00:07:34Okay, both of you.
00:07:35Now stop.
00:07:37So sensitive.
00:07:39She's just jealous because I can keep a man.
00:07:41Oh, my God.
00:07:43Does she know?
00:07:45Actually, I am seeing someone.
00:07:48Yeah, right.
00:07:50Is he imaginary?
00:07:51Are you hallucinating?
00:07:53I think you should go, Belle.
00:07:57I don't think Grandpa's heart could take the side of a single loser.
00:08:07I am not single.
00:08:09I have a boyfriend and he's going to be here any minute.
00:08:11If you have a boyfriend, then where is he?
00:08:15If he doesn't show him, all hell will break loose.
00:08:36Darling, where shall I put these?
00:08:41Meet my boyfriend, bitch.
00:08:53Who the hell is he?
00:08:56Mom.
00:08:57Aunt Moira.
00:08:58Katie.
00:09:00This is...
00:09:01Henry.
00:09:02Henry von...
00:09:04Oh, I call bullshit.
00:09:06This is just some guy she got off the street.
00:09:10And this car, obviously a fake.
00:09:15Why are you driving a Bentley with the royal family emblem?
00:09:20Well, I'm actually a driver for the royal family of Monrovia.
00:09:32A driver?
00:09:33Like, a servant?
00:09:36That's pathetic, Belle.
00:09:38Did he come with the car?
00:09:39Well, Grandpa's definitely going to have a heart attack when he realizes how desperate you are.
00:09:48Nice to meet you.
00:09:49Thanks.
00:09:51Merry Christmas.
00:09:51Oh, thank you.
00:09:52Merry Christmas.
00:09:54Forget about them.
00:09:55Let's just try to have a calm Christmas for Grandpa.
00:09:59I'll go finish dinner preparations.
00:10:05The royal driver?
00:10:07What was your plan?
00:10:08I'll pretend to be the prince of Monrovia?
00:10:10The prince.
00:10:13The prince, imagine.
00:10:15No, no, I'm just a regular guy who likes a regular American Christmas.
00:10:22Okay.
00:10:23But look, I'm not paying extra for that Bentley.
00:10:25Oh, don't worry about that.
00:10:26I'm good friends with the driver.
00:10:29Anyway, your family seems pretty intense.
00:10:34May I ask why an amazing woman like yourself needs to hire someone to be a boyfriend?
00:10:40My fiancé left me a few weeks ago.
00:10:43Grandpa's just pretty fragile and I haven't had the heart to tell him the truth.
00:10:47I know what it feels to have to live up to your family's expectations.
00:10:53Whoever your ex is, he sounds like an idiot.
00:10:58Belle, Henry, meet my new boyfriend.
00:11:09My cousin screwed my ex.
00:11:15Hold on.
00:11:17Do you two know each other?
00:11:26Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:11:28Oh, stop.
00:11:33You're fucking my cousin?
00:11:35You say anything and I'll tell Grandpa that you were busy getting railed by some guy while he was on
00:11:40his deathbed.
00:11:41You won't want to upset him, would you?
00:11:48No, Grandpa.
00:11:49Todd and I have never met.
00:11:52Remember when I told you my fiance cheated on me?
00:11:54Turns out he's fucking my cousin.
00:11:57That also is her ex?
00:12:00Grandpa, I want you to meet my new boyfriend, though.
00:12:03Henry.
00:12:04Her boyfriend?
00:12:06Lovely to meet you, Grandpa.
00:12:09Any man who gets to be with Belle is the luckiest man in the world.
00:12:14No.
00:12:15He's a driver for the royal family.
00:12:18Allegedly.
00:12:19Oh, nice.
00:12:20Both my girls are happy and in love.
00:12:23That's going to help me make it through this Christmas season.
00:12:28Well, I hate to ruin Christmas, Grandpa, but Belle is lying.
00:12:33There is no way that this loser is her boyfriend.
00:12:38Belle?
00:12:40Is this true?
00:12:41If he finds out Henry is a cowboy, the drama could kill him.
00:12:48This loser isn't her boyfriend.
00:12:50She paid him.
00:12:52And how would you know that, Todd?
00:12:55Oh, I know a lot more than you think, loser.
00:12:59Okay, hey.
00:13:00How about you focus on your relationship instead of mine?
00:13:02Because you're lying to this family.
00:13:04It's obviously some homeless guy you picked up off the street.
00:13:07Are you paying him to screw you, too?
00:13:10Oh.
00:13:11Well, unlike your new boyfriend, I don't have to pay to get some.
00:13:14You lying twat.
00:13:18You want another?
00:13:21Please stop fighting.
00:13:23You're upsetting Grandpa.
00:13:25I'm sorry, Grandpa, but it's better that you know that little Miss Perfect is paying a prostitute.
00:13:31That's insane.
00:13:32You have no proof.
00:13:33Oh, yes we do.
00:13:35Your Venmo receipts.
00:13:37Shouldn't have made them public.
00:13:38Look, I can only pay you $5,000 for you to come home with me.
00:13:41You have Venmo?
00:13:42Shit, the Venmo.
00:13:44Ah, right here.
00:13:45Looks like you paid someone five th-
00:13:47What the hell?
00:13:50Shit.
00:13:51Oh, my God.
00:13:55Wait, what are those men here for?
00:14:02What men?
00:14:09First you break my phone and then you break my face, you idiot.
00:14:13I could have done much worse.
00:14:15You're very lucky.
00:14:16It's okay, baby.
00:14:17I can open my phone and prove Little Miss Perfect is lying.
00:14:22She Venmo'd $5,000 to some guy named Henry.
00:14:28That doesn't prove anything.
00:14:30Yes, it does.
00:14:31No, first of all, why would I use my own name?
00:14:35And second, Henry is the most popular name in the United States.
00:14:38And third, look closer.
00:14:41That account belongs to a Henry Wong.
00:14:44Look at that picture.
00:14:45That's an Asian man.
00:14:47That's an Asian man.
00:14:48Then why did you pay $5,000 to some guy named Henry with a house emoji next to it?
00:14:54Thank God.
00:14:55I must have ended up with some random Henry.
00:14:57Okay, think fast, Bill.
00:14:59Because Henry Wong is, um, he's my new landlord.
00:15:06There, there, it's settled.
00:15:08Now, could we please just go and have a peaceful dinner together?
00:15:12I would love that.
00:15:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:15Let's go.
00:15:18You okay, baby?
00:15:23You may have our geriatric grandpa fooled, but I don't believe that guy's your boyfriend
00:15:28for a second.
00:15:29Hmm.
00:15:30What, are you trying to fuck him too?
00:15:32Laugh all you want, but I have the man and grandpa's gonna die soon, so I'll get the house
00:15:38too.
00:15:39What are you talking about?
00:15:41Oh, he didn't tell you, did he?
00:15:46Everybody, I have an important announcement.
00:15:49I have been thinking long and hard over who will get the house after I'm gone.
00:15:55So I've made a decision.
00:15:58Whichever one of my granddaughters marries first, gets the house immediately.
00:16:09But, but mom still lives here.
00:16:12Maybe she can live on the street, or she can rent back from us until we bulldoze it.
00:16:16You can't bulldoze it.
00:16:17Well, we've had every Christmas here.
00:16:19This is where all of our memories are.
00:16:21Maybe if you had kept your man happy, you wouldn't be in this position.
00:16:28Oh, unlike you, who's been in every position?
00:16:31I should get an award for rescuing Todd from a fish, whose only talent was to play dead.
00:16:37Okay, we need to stop fighting the hurting grandpa.
00:16:42Your whore face is hurting him.
00:16:44Stop breathing, bitch.
00:16:46Can't stand this fighting.
00:16:48Don't worry, gramps.
00:16:49I know how to stop the fighting.
00:16:57He's proposing to her with the ring he gave me?
00:16:59Katie, the most beautiful woman on this planet.
00:17:04Will you marry me?
00:17:05Yes, Todd, yes!
00:17:07Yes, yes!
00:17:13The house is mine, the ring is mine, and the man is mine.
00:17:17Merry Christmas to me, bitch!
00:17:21Katie?
00:17:23Wait!
00:17:31What are you doing?
00:17:34Belle!
00:17:36Will you marry me?
00:17:41Say yes!
00:17:42What are you waiting for?
00:17:44You want to keep the house, don't you?
00:17:48Grandpa does look really happy.
00:17:52Yes!
00:17:57A perfect Christmas!
00:18:00A double wedding!
00:18:01You hijacked my proposal!
00:18:03You hijacked my blue friend.
00:18:04You are so selfish, Belle!
00:18:06You always make everything all about you!
00:18:09These two losers are just trying to steal grandpa's house!
00:18:12You weren't planning on proposing.
00:18:13Where's your ring?
00:18:14Where is it?
00:18:14Where is it?
00:18:15I have, uh, yeah, but when you're here, I didn't want to make Todd's look so pathetic.
00:18:21It's much larger.
00:18:23Wow.
00:18:24How the hell did he get that?
00:18:27It doesn't matter.
00:18:28What matters is, my two granddaughters are going to be married before I die.
00:18:35It's a Christmas miracle!
00:18:38A double wedding!
00:18:39I can hardly believe this.
00:18:41Me neither.
00:18:42Okay, but who gets the house, Grandpa?
00:18:44We were technically engaged first.
00:18:47You're right.
00:18:49That does make things more complicated.
00:18:53Your grandmother loved having Christmas in this house more than anything.
00:18:58So whoever shows the most Christmas spirit gets the house.
00:19:05It's a great idea, Grandpa.
00:19:08Uh, but if you guys would just excuse me, I would like to talk to my fiancé.
00:19:13Alone for just a minute.
00:19:15Yeah, get it.
00:19:18Where's the ham?
00:19:21What the hell is wrong with you?
00:19:23You just proposed to me in front of my entire family?
00:19:28Look, you're supposed to be my fake boyfriend until New Year's, not my fiancé!
00:19:32I'm sorry.
00:19:33I just got caught up in the moment.
00:19:36And if you think you're going to get paid extra for this in this big ring, you are insane!
00:19:40You should be thanking me.
00:19:42I'm the one who saved you from your psychotic cousin getting your Grandpa's house!
00:19:46Okay, listen, buddy.
00:19:48I am not some damsel in distress.
00:19:49I don't need to be saved!
00:19:51Really?
00:19:51Because last time I checked, I wasn't the one hiring a fake boyfriend for Christmas.
00:19:56Huh, which was going perfectly fine until you lied, said you were driver for the royal family
00:20:02of Monrovia, and then proposed to me!
00:20:05I could go out there right now and tell your family everything.
00:20:09You want that?
00:20:11What you can do is drop this annoying fish-out-of-water act and stick to the plan.
00:20:18I don't think you find me annoying.
00:20:21I think you find me quite charming.
00:20:31I find you exhausting.
00:20:34Hmm.
00:20:37And what the hell are you doing with that kind of a ring?
00:20:39Who are you?
00:20:41What are you two doing in the pantry?
00:20:47I am so sorry!
00:20:50I didn't mean to interrupt.
00:20:52Oh, no, it's okay.
00:20:54He just can't keep his hands on me.
00:20:56That's right.
00:20:57I can't get enough of my Pookie.
00:20:59You two little lovebirds, I just came to show you where you'd be sleeping.
00:21:06Look, we fake the engagement until the trip is over.
00:21:09But until then, do not blow our cover.
00:21:12Deal.
00:21:19Peterson, I'm releasing you.
00:21:21I need to call off the guy.
00:21:22But, sir, I will call you if I need you.
00:21:26Other than that, enjoy your Christmas.
00:21:28But your mother, sir.
00:21:30That's an order.
00:21:31Goodbye.
00:21:35The room isn't that big.
00:21:37No problem at all.
00:21:39We love to cuddle.
00:21:41Oh, and Todd and Katie are in the next room over.
00:21:44Great.
00:21:44I'm sharing a wall with my ex and the psycho he left me for.
00:21:48Let me know if you guys need anything.
00:21:59One bed?
00:22:01Are you serious?
00:22:03Might be hard to keep my distance.
00:22:09Don't worry.
00:22:10Don't worry.
00:22:10We won't make too much noise with all the boning we're about to do.
00:22:14Ew.
00:22:14Oh, that's right, Belle.
00:22:17You don't know how to make a man make noise.
00:22:20Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
00:22:21Good night.
00:22:22Mm-hmm.
00:22:23Ow, my nose.
00:22:29Oh, absolutely not.
00:22:31I'm not one of your clients.
00:22:32Clients?
00:22:33Hmm.
00:22:34Must be an American term.
00:22:36Well, um, I'll just take a shower and sleep on the floor, I guess.
00:22:51Oh, come on.
00:22:56Where's my phone?
00:23:03Okay, whatever.
00:23:05Oh, I'm sorry.
00:23:07I'm sorry.
00:23:15I...
00:23:15Oh, my God.
00:23:16Oh, my God.
00:23:18Bollocks.
00:23:19I'm so sorry.
00:23:20No, no, it's fine.
00:23:21I'm just gonna go.
00:23:28Oh, yeah, of course.
00:23:34May I?
00:23:36Yeah, yeah, whatever you need.
00:23:44Sorry, I sleep shirtless.
00:23:47Hope you don't mind.
00:23:49Nope.
00:23:49Right.
00:23:54You know, it's bad enough my ex broke my heart and crashed Christmas, and now we have
00:23:57to share a freaking wall with them.
00:23:59I'm sorry.
00:24:00That's awful.
00:24:02Want me to sing you a lullaby?
00:24:04No.
00:24:06Good night.
00:24:12Oh, my God.
00:24:14Are they having sex?
00:24:16Okay, this is my nightmare.
00:24:21I have an idea that might make them jealous.
00:24:23What?
00:24:24We should have sex.
00:24:30No, I am not sleeping with you.
00:24:32No, no, no.
00:24:33Pretend sex.
00:24:34We just got engaged.
00:24:35So, it would be weird if we didn't have sex.
00:24:38Right?
00:24:38Okay, so, how do we have pretend sex?
00:24:44I'll show you.
00:24:46BELL!
00:24:47Belle, oh, my God.
00:24:49That feels so good, Belle.
00:24:51I'm not doing that.
00:24:59Come on, let's do it.
00:25:01Belle, you're the sexiest woman alive.
00:25:05Oh, Henry, this is the best sex I've ever had.
00:25:08Come here, Henry Harder.
00:25:09Oh, my God, Belle.
00:25:11No.
00:25:14I'm so smart.
00:25:15This is always good.
00:25:16It's a good idea.
00:25:17No.
00:25:18No.
00:25:41What am I doing?
00:25:43I'm paying him.
00:25:45He's a professional sex worker.
00:25:46Hey, I think that's enough pretending for tonight.
00:25:50Right.
00:25:51I guess we just go a little carried away.
00:25:55Good night.
00:25:57Good night.
00:25:58Good night.
00:26:17There's no way those two are having sex.
00:26:20I bet they're not even in the same bed.
00:26:23One way to find out.
00:26:25Huh?
00:26:30You better hurry up because round two is waiting for you.
00:26:38Did you hear that?
00:26:40Shit, I forgot to lock the door.
00:26:46I knew it!
00:27:06I could get used to America.
00:27:12Are you watching me sleep?
00:27:16Uh, no.
00:27:18Uh, um, Belle, about last night, I, uh...
00:27:26Don't fall for him, Belle.
00:27:29He has sex for a living.
00:27:31I'm probably just another client.
00:27:34Uh, we don't have to talk about it.
00:27:37I, I think it's best if we keep things professional.
00:27:41Professional.
00:27:43Right.
00:27:44Hmm.
00:27:44Uh, of course.
00:27:49Uh, well, I, I should probably wrap Grandpa's gift before you wake up, huh?
00:27:56Yeah.
00:27:56I could have sworn she felt it too last night, but, uh...
00:28:00Maybe she was just pretending.
00:28:02Maybe she was just pretending?
00:28:12Bawks,
00:28:14I think I like this girl.
00:28:24it's perfect grandpa's gonna love it i can't wait to turn bell's sweet gift to grandpa into trash
00:28:34look we just have to get their christmas presents at the house and we'll be fine
00:28:42grandpa joe in the spirit of christmas we've decided we're throwing you
00:28:46a holiday party katie that's so thoughtful of you it's so thoughtful of us yes better brush up on
00:28:55your monrovian lies mr uber driver the party is at a monrovian restaurant better get packing
00:29:03if i go to a monrovian restaurant people will recognize me
00:29:11no one will know i'm the prince in this cheesy christmas sweater
00:29:17your highness
00:29:26why is the busboy bowing
00:29:30monrovian custom
00:29:33how do you do
00:29:36thank you for your service that is the dumbest custom i have ever heard of maybe i can actually
00:29:43gets away with this oh my god it's you
00:29:52oh my god it's you so good to see you
00:29:57monrovian such a small country
00:30:00listen these people don't know who i am so your discretion is appreciated okay
00:30:05of course sir
00:30:09the busboy will show you to your table
00:30:12right uh right this way
00:30:19the prince of monrovian touched me
00:30:33that's it just one gift in a cheap gift bag that's what you get for having a broke fiance
00:30:39well for your information i got this gift on my own not everyone needs a man to support them
00:30:46why don't you and your broke boyfriend take your shitty gift and go sit over there at the bar
00:30:52grandpa doesn't need anything fancy he wanted a gift from the heart
00:30:56but you wouldn't understand that because you don't have one do you katie
00:30:59i might be heartless but at least i won't be homeless
00:31:02the house is mine whore face
00:31:08wow so many gifts
00:31:11thanks to my finance fiance
00:31:14we got you an all-you-can-eat royal cruise to cabo
00:31:18worth two hundred thousand dollars
00:31:21this is very generous indeed
00:31:25we can all go together after you give us the house
00:31:28bell did you and the help i mean your fiance
00:31:32get grandpa anything for christmas
00:31:35sure it's right here
00:31:38oh my god
00:31:40they replaced my gift with dog shit
00:31:43don't be embarrassed
00:31:45let's see it
00:31:46oh my god bell
00:31:51bell you ungrateful bitch
00:31:53you got grandpa dog shit
00:31:56no
00:31:56grandpa look what bell and that loser got you for christmas
00:32:17you idiot
00:32:19oops i'm so sorry ma'am
00:32:22these are jimmy chews
00:32:23you got poo all over my chews
00:32:25get it off get it off
00:32:29let me clean that up for you
00:32:35grandpa that wasn't your gift
00:32:36give me one moment
00:32:40you asshole
00:32:41you switched the bags
00:32:42where is my gift for grandpa
00:32:44oh that old suit
00:32:45i donated it
00:32:47i thought it was for the homeless shelter
00:32:48you threw away my gift for grandpa
00:32:49and replaced it with shit
00:32:51to be fair
00:32:51it was a pretty shitty gift to begin with
00:32:55guess you don't have anything to give to grandpa
00:32:57this is ridiculous
00:33:00i'm gonna tell him the truth
00:33:02i'm sure you want to start another fight bell
00:33:04wouldn't that upset grandpa
00:33:05huh
00:33:07what's going on
00:33:08bell
00:33:10wasn't i supposed to be opening your gift now
00:33:13i would rather grandpa think i didn't get him anything
00:33:15and risk his health
00:33:16grandpa i'm sorry i didn't get you a gift i
00:33:21um that's right uh she didn't get you just one gift
00:33:25um she got you many
00:33:41well let's see what you got loser i'm in finance
00:33:46he does investments for jp morgan and you
00:33:49you open doors for people
00:33:52there's no way you can afford better gifts than
00:33:55oh really
00:33:56yeah
00:33:59grandpa joe
00:34:00merry christmas
00:34:01the royal crystal glass statue
00:34:05signed by the late great king george the third
00:34:08on his deathbed
00:34:09that's his signature
00:34:11i don't even have that
00:34:14second
00:34:17the deed to a castle
00:34:19in the czech republic
00:34:20it's quite roomy actually
00:34:21indeed
00:34:22oh and um
00:34:24bell mentioned that you
00:34:26liked my rolex so
00:34:28you may have it
00:34:31you're giving me your
00:34:32watch
00:34:33yes
00:34:33i don't know this is too generous
00:34:36please i insist
00:34:37i hate to be the bearer of bad news grandpa
00:34:40but there's no way a bottom feeder who sits in traffic for living could afford this
00:34:46it's fake
00:34:48looks real to me
00:34:51that's not king george the third's signature
00:34:54because this is his real signature
00:34:57yeah look at that
00:34:59that means that this is worthless
00:35:01go
00:35:07what are you doing
00:35:09you just smashed a 20 million dollar statue
00:35:13his signature looked like that because he was on his deathbed
00:35:20he was dying
00:35:23please just stop this fighting
00:35:26please stop all this insanity
00:35:29grandpa's heart can't take this
00:35:31fine for the sake of christmas
00:35:33we'll pretend the statue
00:35:34was real
00:35:35but this
00:35:37who even has handwritten deeds anymore
00:35:40hello
00:35:40like no one
00:35:46that deed
00:35:47was written
00:35:49in
00:35:511756
00:35:52before computers were invented
00:35:55yeah
00:35:55right
00:35:56and i'm sure this royal
00:35:58rolex right here is ancient
00:36:21the royal rolex watch has diamond gears
00:36:26you just smashed the royal rolex
00:36:30the royal rolex watch has diamond gears
00:36:35oh fuck that watch is real
00:36:37of course it's real
00:36:38all of this is real
00:36:40you fool
00:36:41you idiots
00:36:43the castle is real
00:36:45we could have used that money
00:36:50you brought this man into our families
00:36:54this man who ruins christmas
00:36:57all the gifts are destroyed
00:37:00all of the gifts are destroyed
00:37:01all of the gifts are destroyed
00:37:01all of the gifts are destroyed
00:37:01well um not uh not every gift
00:37:04grandpa joe
00:37:08this one is uh from bell and i
00:37:21this is the true meaning of christmas
00:37:25katie
00:37:26you too
00:37:28keep doing this
00:37:30and you better find a hotel
00:37:33to stay in it
00:37:34christmas
00:37:37hey hey hey
00:37:38what the hell are we gonna do now
00:37:39grandpa will for sure get them the house
00:37:42once i expose bell's boyfriend as a fraud
00:37:44she's never getting the house
00:37:48jp morgan just promoted me
00:37:51i have access to the royal accounts
00:37:54i can prove he's not on the royal payroll
00:37:57you're a genius baby
00:38:03i would like to give a formal apology for storing the gifts
00:38:08but i promise to replace all of them thanks to my new promotion
00:38:13cheers to my new loaded fiancee jp morgan's new account manager to the royal family
00:38:23he's the account manager for the royal family
00:38:25he'll find out who i am
00:38:30he's gonna say that you don't really work for the royal family if we're screwed
00:38:33it's okay
00:38:34don't worry about that
00:38:35this guy is full of crap and i'm going to prove it
00:38:40congratulations
00:38:41todd
00:38:41now tell me um how did you land such a marvelous job
00:38:46well i've been corning the royal family for months now
00:38:49treating them to five-star dinners designer suits
00:38:52and yacht parties
00:38:54i bet you've never been to lake momo the royal family have you bitch
00:39:01that's a lie
00:39:01i've never heard of this man in my life
00:39:05that's great um
00:39:06well if you'll excuse me um
00:39:09i have to use the loo
00:39:20hello
00:39:22your highness uh sir
00:39:23our new account manager is misappropriating funds
00:39:27he's spending it on yacht parties and five-star dinners look into it
00:39:32of course of course your highness i am so sorry i will take care of this
00:39:36great
00:39:40carrie
00:39:40bring me the royal account
00:39:44well it's the man of the hour
00:39:47i was just about to tell everyone about how you're lying to all them
00:39:51you're not a driver for the royal family
00:39:55what are you talking about
00:39:57grandpa
00:39:58this liar isn't even employed by the royal family because he isn't on the royal payroll
00:40:05i'm not on the payroll because i get paid in monrovian cash
00:40:12really then where is it
00:40:15okay
00:40:16i've got some right here
00:40:20my face is on the cash
00:40:22let's see that monrovian cash
00:40:31only an insane person would rip up cash
00:40:34and isn't that a felony
00:40:35she's right ripping up cash is a felony come on explain yourself
00:40:40that's right it's a felony in america but in uh in monrovia it's uh tradition
00:40:47that's right it's a new year's tradition uh we we tear up the first bill of the year
00:40:55darn it i'm all out of cash
00:40:57what a tradition
00:40:58you see i uh i live with the royal family so typically they uh cover all my expenses for my
00:41:04uh services
00:41:05technically not a lie
00:41:07really then
00:41:08how do you buy things
00:41:10like fake gifts
00:41:12oh i know
00:41:13you stole them
00:41:14no i don't steal
00:41:16i use
00:41:17my
00:41:18card
00:41:19see
00:41:21that's the royal monrovian credit card
00:41:24oh
00:41:24please
00:41:25anyone can tell that card is fake just like everything else about him
00:41:28well there's one way to find out
00:41:29put the entire party on that card
00:41:32waitress
00:41:34could we get the check over there
00:41:37the total is ten thousand dollars
00:41:39hey look you don't actually have to pay we can just tell them you don't have anything to prove
00:41:44run the card
00:41:49thank you so much your highness
00:41:52the card went through
00:41:54the card works
00:41:57okay great my fiance covered your entire christmas party so let's drop it
00:42:00now
00:42:00not unless he stole it from the royal family of monrovia
00:42:04i demand
00:42:05that you read the name on that card
00:42:07whose name is it
00:42:09oh no
00:42:10my real name is on the card
00:42:17who the hell is harold von rovingham
00:42:20he doesn't know my real name
00:42:22what is in this card
00:42:23he stole it
00:42:24wait let me get up
00:42:26why does this have the royal insignia on it
00:42:29you stole the prince's card
00:42:32well you should be sent to jail for identity theft
00:42:35what sort of a person did you bring into our family bell
00:42:40tell me tell me it's not true
00:42:42no i i didn't he didn't
00:42:44that's
00:42:44you stole the credit card
00:42:46no no i i didn't steal the card
00:42:49the prince um
00:42:52gave it to me
00:42:54the prince uh gave it to you
00:42:57alright give him a call then
00:42:59have him confirm it
00:43:00yeah call him and put it on speaker phone
00:43:03no i can't call the prince the prince is me
00:43:06okay everybody stop
00:43:08okay the truth has to come out
00:43:09grandpa i am so
00:43:12so sorry
00:43:14henry has been lying to everybody
00:43:16henry can't call the prince because
00:43:18he is he is the prince
00:43:26him
00:43:30well then i'm the sultan of brunei
00:43:34i think my wageress has been drinking
00:43:36you should go before i get you fired
00:43:40honestly if he's stealing the royal credit card
00:43:42who knows what else he's capable of
00:43:44aunt moira is right
00:43:45you are a danger to this family
00:43:47and i'm gonna call the cops
00:43:49you're finished
00:43:50okay you have to tell him the truth
00:43:52you could go to jail for life
00:43:53i have a feeling this will all be sorted out soon
00:43:56no you don't understand
00:43:57in america what you do for a living
00:43:59is not legal
00:44:00what i do for a living
00:44:02what the bloody hell are you talking about
00:44:06well cops are called
00:44:08you're finished uber boy
00:44:10you're gonna be spending the rest of your life
00:44:13behind bars
00:44:17oh perfect timing
00:44:18you're under arrest for embezzlement
00:44:19even if you prove she's not embezzling
00:44:22they'll find out he's a cowboy
00:44:23and lock him up forever
00:44:25officers i swear there must be a misunderstanding
00:44:29i'm
00:44:32not you him
00:44:35me
00:44:36whoa whoa whoa i i called you guys
00:44:38what are you talking about
00:44:39ha demas you're under arrest for embezzling funds
00:44:41from jp morgan and the royal family of monrovia
00:44:43no
00:44:44i don't know what you're talking about
00:44:47200k cruise ship
00:44:48yacht parties designer suits sound familiar
00:44:50this is a setup
00:44:51my
00:44:52my future son-in-law would never do that
00:44:55yeah you should arrest him for fraud and identity theft
00:44:58he schemed this entire thing
00:45:01just
00:45:01give me one phone call
00:45:03i will call
00:45:04the ceo
00:45:05of jp morgan
00:45:06and he will clear all of this up
00:45:10huh
00:45:11there he is right now
00:45:12huh
00:45:12thank god you called sir
00:45:14you are fired fuckwad
00:45:16you have been stealing from jp morgan for months
00:45:18enjoy prison asshole
00:45:23well
00:45:23i i
00:45:25baby baby
00:45:25you believe me right
00:45:26you believe me don't you
00:45:27you bail me out
00:45:28you love me
00:45:29you love me
00:45:30don't insult me todd
00:45:31i don't date poor people
00:45:33we're done
00:45:36babe
00:45:37babe that's not possible
00:45:38i can't go to jail
00:45:39i'm scared of dropping the soap baby
00:45:43okay how did you pull that off
00:45:45how do you know people at jp morgan
00:45:47well i should tell you the truth
00:45:48we
00:45:49we're
00:45:50together
00:45:51oh my god
00:45:52he has clients at jp morgan
00:45:55no actually
00:45:56it's okay the details aren't important
00:45:58you got me the house
00:46:00and that's
00:46:00that's what matters
00:46:01thank you
00:46:02you can wipe that smug smile off of your twat face
00:46:06you don't have the house yet
00:46:10grandpa said whichever granddaughter got married first wins the house
00:46:13and your whore of a daughter is single now so i win
00:46:16no grandpa said whoever has the most christmas spirit gets the key
00:46:22including me
00:46:23and you can't exclude my darling daughter just because she's single
00:46:27mom stop calling me that
00:46:30tomorrow
00:46:32we have a bake-off
00:46:34and whoever bakes the best christmas cookies wins the house
00:46:41daddy
00:46:42what do you think about cookies
00:46:45your grandmother loved cookies
00:46:48i think it's a lovely idea
00:46:52fine
00:46:52deal
00:46:53how festive
00:46:55and you better bring tissues for when you sob over your homeless bitch mother
00:47:02well if you'll excuse us aunt moira
00:47:04i've got to go find a recipe to kick your ass
00:47:09but mom i can't bake
00:47:12i'm just a single loser
00:47:16pull yourself together
00:47:17we are going to win that bake-off
00:47:19and get you the house
00:47:21even if we have to put gramps in the hospital
00:47:23do you want to put gramps in the hospital?
00:47:25no
00:47:26but i'll make damn sure that bell's cookies will
00:47:35you ready to bake christmas cookies for grandpa?
00:47:38oh yeah
00:47:39who do you think?
00:47:40you can come into grandpa's kitchen after what you did to my daughter?
00:47:44you got my fiancee arrested
00:47:46yeah well he was my fiancee before you spread your legs
00:47:49you bitch
00:47:51do not touch my fiancee
00:47:55whatever
00:47:56when grandpa tastes our cookies
00:47:58he'll know exactly who deserves the house
00:48:00the kitchen
00:48:02is taken
00:48:04he'll have to bake with the crack addicts under the bridge
00:48:09fine
00:48:11bye
00:48:17where are we going to find the kitchen?
00:48:20i want to save the house but
00:48:22really all i wanted to do is make cookies for grandpa's house christmas
00:48:27just
00:48:28give me a moment
00:48:33peterson
00:48:34i need you to find me
00:48:35an estate with a nice kitchen
00:48:38but sir
00:48:39it's the christmas holiday
00:48:41and we're in buffalo
00:48:42just find it
00:48:43when do you expect to move in?
00:48:4620 minutes
00:48:59i've never been to a royal estate before
00:49:01hey how long has the royal family had a place in upstate new york?
00:49:04it's uh
00:49:05fairly
00:49:07recent
00:49:10ah!
00:49:12a bowl
00:49:13made but still moved it
00:49:15here you go
00:49:17i um
00:49:19gotta be honest
00:49:20i uh
00:49:20never baked before
00:49:22well
00:49:24it's time to learn
00:49:48my grandma used to bake with me every year
00:49:51do you love for christmas?
00:49:54yes
00:49:54so how come your family never did this with you?
00:49:57hmm
00:49:58my parents were always
00:50:01preoccupied with work
00:50:03my dad was um
00:50:05not around very much
00:50:06yeah
00:50:08mine too
00:50:08is he not coming home for christmas?
00:50:10no he
00:50:11he died
00:50:11a few years back
00:50:14i'm so sorry
00:50:15my grandad
00:50:16died a few years back
00:50:18it must have been hard
00:50:19it suddenly became
00:50:21a very big responsibility
00:50:23i'm sure it was very hard for you as well
00:50:26not really
00:50:27i mean he really wasn't around much
00:50:29and
00:50:30it's not like he was a good person
00:50:32you know he lied to my mom a bunch
00:50:34and she gave him way too many chances so
00:50:37but
00:50:38that's why i have my rule
00:50:40lie to me and you're done
00:50:41great
00:50:42if i tell her i'm really a prince
00:50:44she'll never forgive me
00:50:46oh
00:50:48you missed a spot
00:50:50may i
00:50:55silent night
00:50:56i only have one wish for the shooting star
00:51:01holy night
00:51:03send me someone to love
00:51:07so i
00:51:09wait
00:51:10wait
00:51:10does she not like me
00:51:14look i want you to know
00:51:16i don't care who you are
00:51:18i don't
00:51:19i
00:51:19i
00:51:21i
00:51:21i
00:51:32i
00:51:33i
00:51:35i
00:51:36i
00:51:36i
00:51:36i
00:51:47i
00:51:48i
00:51:51i
00:51:59i
00:52:01i
00:52:01i
00:52:02i
00:52:04i
00:52:11i
00:52:13i
00:52:14i
00:52:14i
00:52:15i
00:52:15i
00:52:15i
00:52:15i i i just can't
00:52:20i
00:52:21i
00:52:22i
00:52:22i
00:52:28i
00:52:29i
00:52:29i
00:52:29I had to pass in the cookies anyway, so...
00:52:31No, it's...
00:52:31No, it's...
00:52:38Okay.
00:52:43This cookie can be just for Grandpa.
00:52:48Yeah.
00:52:58All right, well, the cookies need to cool before I can frost them, so...
00:53:01We should...
00:53:02Clean up.
00:53:09Look at their basic, boring-ass bitch cookies!
00:53:13They should be grateful.
00:53:15We're making their cookies a little bit better with some laxatives.
00:53:19Mm-hmm.
00:53:22Grabble will poop his pants and blame it on Belle.
00:53:29I'm gonna go put the frosting on the cookies.
00:53:36Let's go.
00:53:38Oh, those are beautiful, sweetheart.
00:53:42They look delicious, Belle.
00:53:49What do we have here?
00:53:50Three-year-olds on TikTok could have made better cookies.
00:53:53But they could never make an elaborate gingerbread house that was made by my perfect daughter for you.
00:54:01You cannot compare this gingerbread mansion with basic dough turds.
00:54:08How did they make that?
00:54:10I don't think they did.
00:54:11My goodness.
00:54:14That's magnificent, Katie.
00:54:16You must have worked days.
00:54:18Katie is absolutely exhausted from all of that gumdrop gluing.
00:54:23But lack of sleep is a small price to pay for Yuletide spirit.
00:54:27Very impressive house.
00:54:30Must have taken a lot of work.
00:54:32But not from you.
00:54:34Because you purchased a house at a bakery.
00:54:44How dare you accuse us of purchasing this from a bakery?
00:54:48With a fake receipt.
00:54:50It has your signature.
00:54:53You use Grandpa's credit card to buy the gingerbread house.
00:54:57You're just stalling to prevent Grandpa from trying Belle's turd cookies.
00:55:01You're right, Katie.
00:55:03Grandpa should try one.
00:55:04Because it's actually homemade.
00:55:07Right.
00:55:08Here.
00:55:10Enjoy.
00:55:13Please.
00:55:14It's like bottom shelf at Betty Crocker.
00:55:17Actually, it's Grandma's recipe.
00:55:19That way she can still be here even though she's gone.
00:55:22You understood the Christmas spirit assignment perfectly, Belle.
00:55:28I can't like her cookies more than mine.
00:55:29He won't once he's hospitalized for dehydration.
00:55:33Go ahead, Dad.
00:55:34Take a bite.
00:55:36Why do I tell?
00:55:46Mmm.
00:55:48It tastes just like your grandmother's.
00:55:54Why aren't the laxatives working?
00:55:56Maybe it takes a while for the drugs to start working.
00:55:59What?
00:55:59What to start working?
00:56:01Sugar levels.
00:56:02We all know Grandpa's sugar levels are so important.
00:56:05By sugar levels, do you mean the laxatives that you put on our cookie?
00:56:11The only reason that Grandpa is not sick right now is because we threw out that cookie.
00:56:18We didn't do anything to your cookies.
00:56:20Well, then why don't you give it a try?
00:56:24I'll try your gross cookie.
00:56:39What?
00:56:40What?
00:56:40What?
00:56:41The world?
00:56:47No.
00:56:48No.
00:56:48No.
00:56:53No.
00:56:56No.
00:56:59No.
00:57:00No.
00:57:06Oh, that's right. I didn't throw out that cookie. I left it right here on this plate.
00:57:12You're eating that cookie.
00:57:17Oh, oh God.
00:57:19Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:57:27Whoa.
00:57:29Katie, you could have killed Grandpa.
00:57:31That wasn't me. The laxatives were in your purse. I saw them.
00:57:35Oh, right, another lie just like your gingerbread house.
00:57:38I admit we bought the gingerbread house, but I would never hurt you, Grandpa.
00:57:42I am disappointed in you, Katie. With my heart condition, I could have died of dehydration.
00:57:50Why isn't everything my fault? It was Belle!
00:57:53Belle didn't bring a fraudster into this house, she didn't break all of my Christmas gifts, and she didn't put
00:57:59laxatives in the cookies.
00:58:02But...
00:58:02I think you and your mother should go stay at a hotel.
00:58:08But, Grandpa, I...
00:58:10Enough of your shenanigans, Belle.
00:58:14The key to the house is yours.
00:58:17Thank you, Grandpa.
00:58:20All I wanted was a place for Mom to live.
00:58:30Why is the Queen calling in?
00:58:33Oh!
00:58:36Um...
00:58:37Ah, that's just a little inside joke that I have between me and my mom.
00:58:44Just obsessed with the royal family, I guess.
00:58:48B.R.B.
00:58:50Hi, Mom.
00:58:53Why are you calling me?
00:58:55You said you would leave me alone until New Year's.
00:58:57Is that any way to talk to your mother, Henry?
00:59:00Since you bought an estate in the armpit of America,
00:59:05stopped responding to Peterson,
00:59:07called off the guards,
00:59:09and failed to send me any photographs,
00:59:11I thought we'd spend Christmas together
00:59:14and find out exactly what's going on.
00:59:16No, we can't spend Christmas together.
00:59:19I'm in Buffalo.
00:59:22Give me the phone.
00:59:24Yes?
00:59:25We would love to invite your family for Christmas.
00:59:28Henry's family is our family.
00:59:31How is Mom coming to Christmas without everyone finding out she's the Queen?
00:59:34She'd like to speak with you.
00:59:40Glad somebody understands hospitality.
00:59:46Why is the Royal Caravan in our driveway?
00:59:49Also, we're outside.
00:59:51Peterson gave us the address.
01:00:02Oh, is that the Prince?
01:00:07That would be my parents.
01:00:10They work for the Royal Family, too.
01:00:15Oh.
01:00:16As servants.
01:00:19Okay.
01:00:20Pardon me.
01:00:21One moment.
01:00:24I'll be right back.
01:00:34Ah, there you are.
01:00:36What's going on, Henry?
01:00:38I thought your girlfriend was an heiress.
01:00:40This house is rather small.
01:00:42Um, about that.
01:00:45She's not an heiress.
01:00:47Uh, she's a regular American.
01:00:51A commoner.
01:00:53An American.
01:00:54Henry, are you trying to kill me?
01:00:56What else aren't you telling me?
01:00:59She doesn't know that I'm the Prince?
01:01:03Or that you're the Queen and King?
01:01:08What in God's name does she think we are?
01:01:11Servants?
01:01:13Oh, no.
01:01:15Henry?
01:01:15Where are you?
01:01:17If she sees you dressed like this, she will know I'm the Prince.
01:01:20Please, please, go change.
01:01:22I like this girl.
01:01:23Please go.
01:01:24Go.
01:01:27Hey.
01:01:29Uh, where are your parents?
01:01:31They, uh, they needed a moment to freshen up a little.
01:01:35Oh.
01:01:36Let's go this way.
01:01:40Consider it, my dear.
01:01:41Do you remember how dumb I was when I was his age?
01:01:46When I was chasing after you?
01:01:47I refuse to pose as a commoner.
01:01:51Besides, what the devil would we wear?
01:01:54I don't know.
01:01:59I don't know.
01:02:00I don't know.
01:02:05I don't know.
01:02:07I don't know.
01:02:10I don't know.
01:02:12I don't know.
01:02:13We need to meet you.
01:02:14Oh, yeah.
01:02:16Well, uh, these are my parents.
01:02:20Vicki.
01:02:21Vicki?
01:02:22And, uh, Eddie.
01:02:25Oh, thank you, milady, for your hospitality.
01:02:33This must be the guest house.
01:02:36She's pretty.
01:02:38Or in America.
01:02:39I take that as a compliment, Mother.
01:02:41Something's not right.
01:02:43I love your necklace.
01:02:45So expensive for someone who cleans toilets for a living.
01:02:51It was a gift from Elidy the Queen for cleaning Flo so well.
01:02:57Yeah.
01:02:57You know, our floors are absolutely filthy.
01:03:01You wouldn't mind cleaning them while you're here for us, would you?
01:03:03I normally don't speak to the hell, but I'll make an exception for you.
01:03:07Well, aren't you a peach?
01:03:10I'm ready to give them both the royal smackdown.
01:03:14I think it's time to set the table.
01:03:15Would you like to help me, Vicki?
01:03:17Help?
01:03:18What would you be willing to set our table just like you would for the royal family?
01:03:23I mean, I'd really like it.
01:03:26She's never set a table before in her life.
01:03:28She'll give herself away.
01:03:30Right.
01:03:31Go on.
01:03:44I haven't seen such a beautiful table setting since my wife was alive.
01:03:51Cheers to new beginnings.
01:03:54Welcome, Vicki and Eddie, to our family.
01:04:01Americans are so loud.
01:04:03And, ew, there's so much dairy in their food.
01:04:06My arteries are clogging just looking at this.
01:04:09Oh, don't be so stiff, Vicki.
01:04:12I quite like it.
01:04:13And look at our boy.
01:04:16He's never looked happier.
01:04:22We must be getting on.
01:04:27You owe me.
01:04:29I can drive you right now.
01:04:31Oh!
01:04:33I insist.
01:04:34That would be lovely.
01:04:36We could use the time to get acquainted.
01:04:40I hate her.
01:04:41Ever since we were little, she's always gotten everything.
01:04:44And now she gets the house.
01:04:46Don't you worry about this shitty house.
01:04:48We are going to get you a palace.
01:04:51But how?
01:04:52We're going to follow those servants back to the royal estate and bag you the prince.
01:05:14Oh, my God.
01:05:16It's the prince!
01:05:21Come to me, my prince!
01:05:24Madam, I am not the prince!
01:05:26That's exactly what a secret prince would say.
01:05:29I know a prince when I see one.
01:05:33Marry me!
01:05:33Make me your princess!
01:05:35Madam, madam, madam!
01:05:35I am not madam!
01:05:37Madam, madam!
01:05:38I am not madam!
01:05:40Please!
01:05:43Oh, dear!
01:05:45Kitty, what are you doing?
01:05:47What does it look like?
01:05:48I'm getting a prince!
01:05:49Bow to me, bitches.
01:05:51I'm your queen now.
01:05:53My first act of business?
01:05:54You're all fired.
01:05:56That man is not a prince.
01:05:58He's a servant.
01:06:00What?
01:06:01I...
01:06:02I touched a servant?
01:06:07I tried to warn you, madam!
01:06:11Bo?
01:06:12Can we a little chit-chat inside for a moment?
01:06:15Is my own mother going to give up my identity?
01:06:20Uh, mother, can't it wait?
01:06:24We have loads to prepare for for Christmas.
01:06:28Don't question my authority, Henry.
01:06:30You must obey me.
01:06:34Uh-oh.
01:06:35The answer.
01:06:38I'll fake for the family, but I won't lie to her.
01:06:43What's your plan with my son?
01:06:46Well, I really like him, but I can't be with him because of his job.
01:06:52Well, his occupation does ask lots of him.
01:06:55Never enough to go round.
01:06:57Great.
01:06:58So he's not just a prostitute.
01:06:59He's a busy prostitute.
01:07:01He's been through a lot since his grandfather died.
01:07:04But it's a family business.
01:07:07Wait, so him and his grandfather both had sex with people for a living?
01:07:12What?
01:07:13You think my Henry and my beloved father are prostitutes?
01:07:17Wait, but if he's not a prostitute, then what is he?
01:07:20No!
01:07:22Don't!
01:07:29Don't!
01:07:33Don't have a conversation without me.
01:07:36Where were you talking about?
01:07:38Well, I was just inviting Belle and a grandpa and a mom to the Royal New Year's Ball.
01:07:44The Royal Ball?
01:07:45Seriously?
01:07:46Yes.
01:07:48That's when the prince will reveal his identity and stop his American shenanigans.
01:07:55Oh my gosh, this is incredible.
01:07:57Grandpa's going to be so excited.
01:07:59God, I can't wait to tell him.
01:08:01Oh, I...
01:08:07Why are you just like a prince in the family portrait?
01:08:11Out with it, Henry.
01:08:14Well, uh...
01:08:16The Royal Family had us painted like royalty for our years of service.
01:08:24Okay.
01:08:27I'm going to go tell Grandpa.
01:08:30Why did you invite her to the ball?
01:08:32She'll know I'm the prince.
01:08:34That's the point, Henry.
01:08:36I would any woman not want to fall in love with a prince.
01:08:40You think she loves me?
01:08:41I'm not blind, darling.
01:08:43And if you love her, you'll tell her the truth and stop lying.
01:08:48But...
01:08:48But what if I tell her the truth and she doesn't forgive me?
01:08:53It's a risk you'll have to take.
01:08:55But if you don't tell her you're the prince before the ball, I will.
01:09:11Everyone got an invitation to the Royal New Year ball except me?
01:09:15And I licked a servant!
01:09:17You expected to be invited after the way you treated Henry's parents?
01:09:22This is bullshit.
01:09:48This is bullshit.
01:09:50Get me an invitation now!
01:09:51Excuse me, ma'am.
01:09:51Do I know you?
01:09:53No!
01:09:53No, no, of course not!
01:09:54But you know what?
01:09:56You are so handsome.
01:09:58I like you.
01:09:59I'm pretty.
01:10:00It's not a...
01:10:08Time to go bag a prince.
01:10:13Hey, babe.
01:10:14You know that sex tape you have with you and Belle?
01:10:17I want everyone at the ball to know Little Miss Perfect is a dirty little bitch.
01:10:23Did Belle receive the gifts I sent over this morning?
01:10:27What gifts are you talking about?
01:10:29Come on, this way.
01:10:31We are here to dress the family for the Royal Ball.
01:10:34With the exception of, and I quote, the trashy cousin.
01:10:37No!
01:10:38No, absolutely not!
01:10:39Please, you need to leave!
01:10:40Now!
01:10:41These are orders of the Queen!
01:10:43This is not the way to be treating your Royal Stylist!
01:10:46Uh, why is the Royal Stylist here?
01:10:53Who are these people?
01:10:54This is quite normal, Fora.
01:10:56Fora!
01:10:57Try not to lie, Henry.
01:10:59A Christmas present from the Queen!
01:11:05And why would the Queen care about us?
01:11:07Because the Queen is a very generous woman.
01:11:13And, Belle, listen, I...
01:11:15Your...
01:11:16Your Highness!
01:11:17Uh-uh!
01:11:18I mean, uh, Henry.
01:11:19We have to go back to the palace!
01:11:21Your mother needs you!
01:11:23This way!
01:11:23Uh, wait, Your Highness?
01:11:25Okay, Henry, what is going on?
01:11:27Why is everyone acting so weird?
01:11:29These people are here to help you get ready.
01:11:31I will explain everything at the ball.
01:11:33I promise.
01:11:35I promise.
01:11:43Whatever happens tomorrow, I want you to know that...
01:11:47This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
01:11:52Owen, I lift you a gift.
01:12:07What did he mean, whatever happens?
01:12:17Wow.
01:12:22Sweetheart, you look beautiful.
01:12:27Dad, want to have some champagne?
01:12:29Okay.
01:12:38Too bad your garage sale tiara doesn't cover your whore face.
01:12:42What are you even doing here?
01:12:44Forget Todd.
01:12:46We came to bag Katie a prince.
01:12:48Where is he?
01:12:49I don't care about the prince.
01:12:51I'm here to see Henry.
01:12:52Aw.
01:12:53Did your fiancé dump you again?
01:12:55He's probably cheating on you.
01:12:57And you're so used to being a cuck.
01:13:00He's not cheating on me.
01:13:01Really?
01:13:02Then where is he?
01:13:03He's busy working.
01:13:05Come on.
01:13:06The guy takes secret phone calls and leaves all the time?
01:13:09Take it from me?
01:13:10He's probably boning someone else.
01:13:13Henry did need to tell me something.
01:13:15Maybe they're right.
01:13:16Maybe there is someone else.
01:13:18And after tonight, he might see you a little differently.
01:13:23What are you talking about?
01:13:25You'll see.
01:13:26Just wait for the show.
01:13:29Now, let's go bag a prince for my little princess.
01:13:39See that guy over there?
01:13:42Him?
01:13:43Of course.
01:13:46He asked me to give you this slideshow to play.
01:13:49If it's for the prince, I guess it's okay.
01:13:56God, she's perfect.
01:13:58I have to tell her the truth before it's too late.
01:14:03You look so beautiful, Belle.
01:14:07Belle, there isn't much time.
01:14:09Can we talk?
01:14:10Oh, God.
01:14:11He wants to talk because there's someone else.
01:14:15I know that this was just a contract thing, and I didn't mean to lie to you.
01:14:20I can't believe this is happening to me.
01:14:22Again.
01:14:23God, I'm an idiot.
01:14:25It's... I'm fine.
01:14:27Okay, I already know.
01:14:29What?
01:14:30You know?
01:14:31How?
01:14:32Look, I wish you had told me that you were in love with somebody else before...
01:14:35Oh, wait a second.
01:14:37You think I'm in love with someone else?
01:14:39No.
01:14:40There is no one else but you.
01:14:46Oh, God.
01:14:48Because I am in love with you.
01:14:50I love you too, Belle.
01:14:52You know, I haven't felt what family's supposed to feel like since Grandma died.
01:14:57But you brought that feeling back.
01:14:59And you gave me the American Christmas I always wanted.
01:15:02Well, if there's no one else, then what did you want to tell me?
01:15:05I, um...
01:15:08I don't want to work for you.
01:15:10I want to be with you.
01:15:12But, um, I'm not the person I said that I was.
01:15:15I'm actually...
01:15:16Your Highness!
01:15:19Henry, you have to go.
01:15:21I have your jacket.
01:15:22Forgive me.
01:15:23I... I'm sorry.
01:15:24Your Highness?
01:15:26I'm sorry.
01:15:27What the hell is going on?
01:15:34Ladies and gentlemen, please stand for His Highness, King Edward of Monrovia and Her Majesty, Queen Victoria.
01:16:01And for the first time publicly in the United States, Prince Harold von Monrovingham of Monrovia.
01:16:28Oh, my God.
01:16:30He's a prince.
01:16:34That's what he was trying to tell me?
01:16:36He's the prince of Monrovia.
01:16:38I'm gonna faint.
01:16:41I knew I liked this kid.
01:16:44He's the prince?
01:16:45What the fuck?
01:16:47He's the prince?
01:16:48That means...
01:16:50I asked the Queen of Monrovia to scrub our toilets.
01:16:53Oh, my God!
01:16:55Okay, let her have her moment for now.
01:16:58My name is Prince Harold von Monrovingham, but to just one person here, I'm just Henry.
01:17:10You hid your identity.
01:17:11Why couldn't you just tell me?
01:17:13I didn't know if I could find someone who would love me for me, and not just my crown.
01:17:20So you lied.
01:17:21I know I lied, but I didn't think that love was something that was possible for me until
01:17:26I met you.
01:17:27And now I'm terrified that you'll never forgive me.
01:17:31How could I ever trust you again?
01:17:34I told you I hate liars.
01:17:36And that's exactly why I wanted to make this public, so that I could win you back.
01:17:42No.
01:17:43Will you...
01:17:44Will you marry me?
01:17:47For real this time.
01:17:48Be my princess.
01:17:55I...
01:17:56Stop.
01:17:57There's no way this bitch is becoming princess.
01:18:01Can't those Americans do anything normally?
01:18:04This whoreface is trash and doesn't deserve to be royalty.
01:18:08Please, Katie, stop.
01:18:10You're embarrassing yourself.
01:18:11The only thing embarrassing about this family is that little twat.
01:18:15Her whole goody-goody is an act.
01:18:18She fooled your son, and she doesn't deserve to be a princess.
01:18:22What are you talking about?
01:18:23Enough with this American insanity.
01:18:26My son was mid-proposal.
01:18:28Go on.
01:18:29Go on, Henry.
01:18:30No attention to this commoner.
01:18:32Your Majesty's, about earlier.
01:18:34I'm sorry.
01:18:35Sorry about what?
01:18:36Asking me to scrub your toilets?
01:18:39We apologize, your highnesses, but there's been a big misunderstanding.
01:18:44No, I understand who you are very well.
01:18:47God.
01:18:51Get off me!
01:18:52Don't you want to know the truth about your future daughter-in-law?
01:18:56She is a whore!
01:18:57Watch it!
01:18:58There's nothing that you can say that can make me love Belle any less.
01:19:01You're a liar.
01:19:03I have nothing to hide.
01:19:05No.
01:19:06Apparently, he put it all out there.
01:19:09Remember that little video you took with Todd?
01:19:12I don't think he'll like it once he sees what trash you are.
01:19:15That video is private.
01:19:17What video, Henry?
01:19:19What is she talking about?
01:19:21Now ask yourselves.
01:19:22Is this the kind of ho, ho, ho you want for a princess of your shitty country?
01:19:29Hit it.
01:19:39What the fuck?
01:19:40Where's Belle's sex tape?
01:19:42Belle, is that true?
01:19:44Don't listen to a word this lunatic has to say.
01:19:47She assaulted me and has been stalking the prince all along.
01:19:50He's lying.
01:19:53Just look at the video.
01:19:54I gave it to the tech guy.
01:19:56And I promptly took care of it.
01:19:58Enough!
01:19:59This is nothing but a case of revenge porn.
01:20:03Now bow to the royal family and beg for forgiveness.
01:20:07What?
01:20:19Please forgive me.
01:20:21Not just to me.
01:20:22Also to the future princess of Monrovia.
01:20:26What?
01:20:26She isn't a princess!
01:20:28Not yet.
01:20:29Now bow.
01:20:32Your highness, I bow.
01:20:35I suppose that will do.
01:20:37And now off to you to the police station.
01:20:40Guards!
01:20:42Please, your highness.
01:20:45Forgive me.
01:20:46It was just a joke.
01:20:47Oh, a joke.
01:20:48Just when you assaulted my valet.
01:20:51Hmm?
01:20:51Guards!
01:20:52Now how's that for being the old egg?
01:20:55I'm calling my lawyer!
01:20:57Wait!
01:20:58I should be the princess of Monrovia!
01:21:00Me!
01:21:01Now, where were we?
01:21:03Henry?
01:21:03Oh, yes.
01:21:04On one knee.
01:21:05Right.
01:21:12Belle, will you do me the honor?
01:21:17Being the wife of Prince Harold von Munrovingen?
01:21:25No.
01:21:29I don't know who that is.
01:21:36But I will marry Henry.
01:21:39But never lie to me again.
01:21:42I promise I will never, ever lie to you ever again, my beautiful Belle.
01:21:47Then I forgive you.
01:21:49Because I'm a prince?
01:21:50No, because you're you.
01:21:52I don't need these presents, this crown or the royal estate.
01:21:56I just want you.
01:22:02I don't know who that is.
01:22:07Now, kiss already.
01:22:10That's an order.
01:22:15To the future princess of Monrovia, Princess Belle.
01:22:22Oh, my God.
01:22:33Oh, these are quite comfy, actually.
01:22:36Oh, cute.
01:22:39Oh, you know what?
01:22:40I'll get started.
01:22:42This gift is for Belle.
01:22:44And it's a special token for the first time we've ever met.
01:22:51Is it another tiara?
01:22:57It's better than a tiara.
01:22:59Oh, it's pretty old.
01:23:02For all the riches in my kingdom, you're the greatest gift I've ever received.
01:23:08Oh.
01:23:09Oh.
01:23:14I have the royal nappies, your highness.
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