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00:08Why are you dressed like that? Like an umpire?
00:11Because I'm an umpire.
00:12What? What?
00:14Yeah, at Strohmeyer Park. Bronco Mustang games. I told you.
00:19When?
00:20Like last Saturday. I said I needed to pick up some part-time weekend work
00:25so we could get better plates and dishes for the household.
00:28You know, more grown-up furniture stuff for Richard and stuff.
00:31You don't remember me saying that? I told you.
00:32I told you I was going to pick up Saturday session.
00:35Right, and I said that that wasn't going to be enough
00:36and I was going to have to pick up some work nearby.
00:38You don't remember that?
00:40Okay, yeah.
00:41Okay. Hey, can you cancel the lawn maintenance guys today, please?
00:46Because we were supposed to do it last month and I just got another bill.
00:49Okay, yeah, I totally forgot to do it, so yeah.
00:51Yeah, because we have to start cutting all these, you know, all these things
00:54or we're never going to be able to get Richard into private school
00:57or do any of the things that we have to do.
00:59I'm totally going to do it today.
01:01Okay.
01:07Why umpire?
01:08Because it's right behind the house and it's $85 a game.
01:11I don't know much about baseball, but it's going to get weird. Whatever.
01:22Hey, it's cold up. Let's go.
01:25I'm waiting for you.
01:26You have to say play ball.
01:27For what?
01:29For like the game to start.
01:31Just start it.
01:32You have to say play ball.
01:34Play ball?
01:34No, not to me.
01:35It's like everyone.
01:40Hey, hi.
01:42Play ball.
01:44Not to each kid.
01:45Just yell it out to everyone.
01:49Play ball!
01:53So, um, the ump thing.
01:57You're going to be doing that for a while, huh?
02:00Yeah.
02:02We're in a new school.
02:04We're like three years away from even being able to make a deposit on that.
02:09And we still have to get the more grown up furniture set and stuff for Richard's room.
02:14Well, that was on the list for last year.
02:16For almost two years now.
02:19Oh, yeah.
02:20Cool.
02:23Cool.
02:24We'll just cut corners till then.
02:26Cool.
02:29So you're going to do the ump thing until then, huh?
02:35Yeah.
02:36Yeah, cool.
02:41Cool.
02:56Yeah.
02:57So you don't honor that coupon?
02:59Uh, not on the sirloins.
03:01We, uh, we don't honor the exclude selected.
03:04Yeah, this doesn't apply.
03:08Okay, well then, no way José on those sirloins.
03:10Okay.
03:11Um, yo, did you want to uhp?
03:13No, it's worthless.
03:14Whoa, whoa, little man.
03:16What is this bullshit?
03:17$20?
03:19Strike!
03:20Jack.
03:21Jack.
03:23Jack.
03:24Jack.
03:24Move it, tuba.
03:26No way, Jose!
03:28Ah!
03:30Okay.
03:31You're okay.
03:32You're okay.
03:33Okay.
03:34Happy birthday.
03:36Floyd.
03:38Oh, no way, Jose.
03:40No, yes, yes, yes.
03:42They're very feminine.
03:46You're life-free, girl!
03:48We're almost there in terms of getting nicer plates and bowls for the household and a more grown-up furniture
03:54set for Richard and bedding and stuff, you know?
03:57And the tuition.
03:59Hey, come on.
04:01We want to get there, right?
04:03Yep.
04:04Yes.
04:05Yeah, we want to get there, Floyd.
04:07I don't see why they want to just put that right on the coupon that it doesn't include Pop Sirloin.
04:11You know, we haven't paid his therapy bills for two months, so they've started sending letters.
04:17Have you noticed any change since therapy?
04:21Um, no.
04:23No, not really.
04:25Um, we've been talking.
04:30Richard, we've been talking.
04:34School's not really for him.
04:36Well, I mean, the vest.
04:38I don't think it's a vest.
04:41I just think people don't know him.
04:46If people knew him, they could like him.
04:52The new school.
04:54What a chance there could be for him.
04:58Yeah, yes.
05:00So...
05:02I don't like Jose on these, okay?
05:09Okay.
05:10Okay.
05:12Go ahead.
05:18Well, here we go.
05:21Yeah, that's true.
05:24Wow.
05:25Right.
05:26Okay.
05:28Okay.
05:33Oh, my God.
05:53I mean how did my son ruin all your milk is this Albertsons then don't you know
06:02how my son ruined all your milk hey quies Steven quies hey girl hey can I get my
06:17up money we yeah you didn't get your up money no for three weeks three weeks what
06:23I'm gonna pay for three weeks please come on shoot okay let me look into it with
06:29the league okay thanks that's 600 a month right thanks where are you going uh there's
06:35an issue with my son there's he did something with the milk at Albertsons
06:39Mustang game what you're on the afternoon Mustang game Rattlers versus the Comets
06:45field four I just um two games and I gotta go pick up my kid and my husband's
06:48away at his mother's I'm on field three that's the schedule and I can't pay you
06:54if you don't work the games you signed for okay
07:02play ball
07:15I just don't understand how this could happen
07:19neither do I but you still have to pay for the milk
07:39hey Carol love hey how's your mom doing she's um pretty good
07:51how are you doing um uh okay can I talk can I talk to you for a second about one
08:02thing what
08:11the um the umpire gear around the house okay so in general I'm really glad that you're doing it
08:34I mean little league is a great place for kids to learn about team dynamics also get some sunshine
08:39so I think it's a really good idea that you're doing it
08:42why are you doing up talk doing what doing everything ends in a question
08:46doing kids are in the sunshine okay I'm not okay you are
08:50okay well maybe I'm just you know maybe I'm a little nervous about
08:55you know saying that the umpire gear around the house
09:00it makes it a little hard for me to get my engine revved you know it kind of uh
09:06does it kind of neutralizes uh sexually so maybe if there was more time around the house when we
09:12weren't an umpire um I thought it was important to share this you know so that our sex life can
09:19thank you okay okay
09:27wow
09:31okay
09:35oh I uh sent out some invites for a cornhole party I'm jacked for you to meet my friend
09:41Clark the weatherman guy I told you about I'm jacked
10:12oh
10:13oh
10:40okay
10:48I don't know.
11:18I don't know.
11:52I don't know.
12:11I don't know.
12:51I don't know.
13:30I don't know.
13:39I don't know.
13:41I don't know.
13:49I don't know.
14:15I don't know.
14:24I don't know.
15:02I don't know.
15:07Yeah?
15:08Yeah.
15:09Yeah.
15:13Perfect day.
15:15Perfect day.
15:21Hey, remember when I was telling you that I French that guy?
15:33I don't know.
15:38I don't know if I want to do DTF anymore.
15:41I don't know.
15:42I don't know.
15:42I don't know.
15:45I don't know how to be in that scene.
15:50Just in over my head with this one.
15:53Okay.
15:55I worry.
15:57He knows that my heart wasn't in that French.
16:02I, uh, maybe I hurt his feelings.
16:09I worry that night so much.
16:13My thoughts swirl.
16:17Hmm.
16:19Oh, God.
16:20This wine's my favorite.
16:23Hmm.
16:24Hey, so, so what are you worried about mostly at night?
16:33I'm dying.
16:33I'm dying.
16:36And then my secrets are known.
16:41Like why?
16:44Like I owe, like, $48,000 easy.
16:49Probably more now.
16:51I mean, I don't even look at the tax bills anymore.
16:55I'm like, that that's what I leave.
16:59Just that.
17:01It's like, not nothing.
17:03It's worse.
17:05Don't worry about Richard.
17:06Don't worry about Carol.
17:09And, you know, when you lie down in bed,
17:10you're, you feel like your heart's supposed to rest, right?
17:13Your heart's supposed to go, shh.
17:17And mine just races.
17:20It's like I got like a bird heart.
17:25How?
17:27They work so hard, you know, to fly,
17:29and their heart just like...
17:32Racist.
17:34My heart's like that.
17:36It's like a bird heart.
17:38But I can't fly.
17:43Mm.
17:44Yeah, it's my fave.
17:47Richard has, uh, borderline personality disorder,
17:50which means that my impulse control is limited.
17:54Man.
17:57Yeah.
17:59Public school is tough for him.
18:00There is another school with fewer kids.
18:06And they all are, like, different, you know?
18:09Like him.
18:10And I lie in bed, and I think,
18:13how could I afford this?
18:14And then I worry about it.
18:18Well, I can...
18:21You know, I-I could, uh, cover you with this.
18:26Help with these problems, these worries.
18:28No, man. No.
18:29Hey, man.
18:30At the gym.
18:31Be out the bee.
18:33Be out the beak?
18:35I can help in life.
18:37The same way you helped me at the gym.
18:38I can help you get these bills down so you can sleep.
18:42Get you some insurance.
18:43You get some peace.
18:45You know, we...
18:46We hush that heart some.
18:49Hush my heart?
18:50Yeah.
18:50My bird heart.
18:52Yeah.
18:56I can help.
18:57With the tuition, too.
19:01I can help.
19:02Be nice to have a man heart again.
19:07I don't know.
19:10What is it?
19:12When I was a boy and I pictured myself as a man,
19:14I never pictured myself as a man asking another man for money.
19:17I pictured myself as a man parachuting out of an airplane
19:20with a machine gun in a time of war and all his war buddies,
19:24like, floating by him going, like,
19:26you're a good leader, man.
19:28You know what I pictured doing as a man?
19:32What?
19:33Having a good friend and helping him when he needed it
19:36and him helping me when I needed it.
19:40And I was happy.
19:44Take happy, Floyd.
19:48What's this tuition like?
19:49It's like four payments over the year,
19:53like, about $7,000 each or something like that.
19:55Let's get him in there.
19:57Uh, I can cover you guys.
20:00You know?
20:02Then we'll see if it helps and we'll take it from there.
20:04Hey.
20:09Hey.
20:12Be out the bee.
20:16Be out the bee.
20:18Be out the bee.
20:22Hey, are you still crying?
20:24A little bit from happiness.
20:28Well, you are actually a little drunk now, so be careful.
20:36Hey.
20:37Hey, hey, hey.
20:37Oh, fuck!
20:41Yeah, the bike was dinged up, but I was all right.
20:43Did you guys have fun?
20:44You and Clark?
20:47Yeah, we had a blast, man.
20:49Hey.
20:51Thanks for asking.
20:55You know what?
20:56Let's take off a little early.
20:58I want to show you something.
21:01There's only like 12 kids per class, so you already know there's going to be less a-holes.
21:09How soon can I start?
21:11We'll pay tuition tomorrow or right after that.
21:15And the kids, they test smarter than at Collins.
21:18They're smarter, so we know you're fitting in better already, because you're smart as F.
21:26Hey.
21:28Fresh start.
21:30It's worth millions and millions, man.
21:33All your surroundings fresh.
21:35Teachers fresh.
21:36Kids fresh.
21:37All that hard stuff.
21:40You just leave that behind you.
21:43That's not coming here.
21:46Who knows?
21:47Maybe there's a-
21:49Maybe there's a friend already here.
21:51I mean, could be.
21:53Maybe he draws cool fantasy predator birds, and he's looking for some cool kid to show them off to,
21:58and here you come all fresh and cool with your cool predator bird portfolio and stuff.
22:05Could be.
22:10You sure you don't want my jacket?
22:12Fine.
22:14Well, I'll tell you what.
22:15If there is a kid who draws predator birds, he's a lucky F-er, because he's about to meet you.
22:24F stands for fuck.
22:25Yeah, I know, but I didn't say fuck. I said F.
22:32Trying to be a good dad figure here.
22:35You are.
22:38And I'm what?
22:40You're a good dad figure.
22:411
22:423
22:424
22:431
23:062
23:102
23:112
24:14Speed.
24:17Speed cornhole, bro.
24:19Cardioblast.
24:20Let's go.
24:20Let's do it.
24:21Come on.
24:27Speed!
24:28Cornhole!
24:32I'm just going to shake a little of the bacon.
24:35There we go.
24:36I'm going to leave you enough for flavor.
24:41Thank you, man.
24:42Yeah.
24:42I left enough for flavor.
24:45Wow.
24:47Nobody's ever...
24:48I mean, Carol, but, like, nobody's ever cared enough to shake the bacon off my sandwich
24:51but leave enough for flavor.
25:01What's that?
25:03Optimism.
25:09It's a key to a PO box I rented to get our secret life insurance bills.
25:13Oh.
25:14Because I'm going to pass that physical.
25:17Good idea.
25:18You're going to ace that physical.
25:20I'm not going to pass it.
25:21You're going to ace that motherfucking life insurance physical.
25:24That's the fucking news.
25:30We're the Thunderboys.
25:32We're gonna ace that motherfucking life insurance physical.
25:36We're the Thunderboys.
25:38We're gonna ace that motherfucking life insurance physical.
25:52We're the Thunderboys.
25:53We're gonna ace that
25:55Motherfuckin' life, it sure is physical
25:57Well, I'm for sure to take it in Pure Joy
26:00And I'm from the St. Louis area
26:02And I employ all the tricks
26:05For acing my motherfuckin' physical
26:07Hey, low sodium
26:09Oh, low fear
26:11High speed, corthole
26:12High gear
26:13Used to be rock solid
26:14And now I'm pure joy
26:16Now I'm gonna pass it to the weather boy
26:18Pure joy, weather boy
26:20Lookin' hot as fuck
26:21Understand thunder boys
26:22Leave you thunderstruck
26:24Take a break
26:24Shake the bacon off your sandwich
26:26We're doin' two steps at a time
26:27On the staircase
26:28We're the Thunder Boys
26:30We're gonna ace that
26:32Motherfuckin' life, it sure is physical
26:33We're the Thunder Boys
26:35We're gonna ace that
26:37Motherfuckin' life, it sure is physical
26:39Hey
26:41See you later, elevator
26:45In a wild candy aisle
26:48Just got a real wobble
26:49I might have messed up the sprockets on my head
26:52I made your wipeout
26:55God, I'm sorry
26:55I'll take care of it money-wise
26:58Okay, cool
26:59Hey, that would really mean the world to me
27:04He has a weird dick
27:06And he just can't pop them like he used to
27:09You know, like pop those boners
27:11Yeah, you said
27:13And he has money stress, so he eats and then he feels bad about himself
27:20He looks okay
27:22I mean, yeah, but he used to be like
27:27Well, Carol, we all used to be
27:36You know, when his dick was normal
27:37He was in Playgirl
27:39His what?
27:41In Playgirl
27:43Like, dude, all the way
27:45Yeah
27:47Yeah, there was like this little thing about him
27:49Like a get-to-know-him thing
27:54165
27:59165 what?
28:01That's what it said he weighed then
28:03165, yeah
28:05You know, our house is pretty small
28:07So there's nowhere you can really go to be alone
28:09And I see him looking at it
28:12And his Playgirl
28:15Yeah, he kept it
28:19And sometimes he looks at it
28:21And he looks so sad
28:26So he has self-esteem things
28:29And that's part of the boner problems
28:31Blood pressure's
28:33It's pretty high
28:35Yeah, yeah, yeah
28:36My heart really kind of goes
28:39Plus I got my shirt off
28:41And so, you know, that makes me self-conscious
28:43Okay
28:45That goes to my heart, too
28:47I mean, that's science, though
28:48So
28:50Well, you know
28:51We're taking care of a lot of that with him
28:55Get his house in order
28:57So that there's less stress
29:02Be out the bee
29:04What?
29:05It's what we do for each other
29:07We bring out the best
29:09Yeah
29:10Yeah
29:13But the paying the bills
29:15And the insurance
29:17That has to be a private thing with you guys, okay?
29:22Because, you know, if
29:24He knows that I know
29:25Then his self-esteem is going to be like
29:28Right?
29:29Yes
29:30Like I'm him
29:30Oh, God
29:31You know Clark pays our bills
29:33Now I'm not a man
29:34So now I can have our pop boners again
29:35Smart
29:36Yeah
29:36Yeah
29:37Okay
29:37So
29:38Yeah
29:40That's just between you two
29:43Please
29:44Yeah
29:47We're serious, okay?
29:55Okay, because I want to have this with him
29:59Like
29:59In a house that's normal
30:02Where it works
30:04And, like, bear bills
30:05And we do the tuition thing that we're talking about
30:10And then we have sex and everything
30:13So
30:16This needs to stay between you two
30:18Okay?
30:21We're serious
30:23Yeah
30:29Save we're serious again
30:32For serious?
30:34Yeah
30:36Okay
30:38Okay
30:50So, uh
30:51I didn't ace it, did I?
30:54Uh, ace?
30:55Yeah
30:56No
30:57Okay
30:59But you passed
31:01I passed
31:05Yes
31:05Acing
31:06It wasn't even
31:06It wasn't realistic
31:08That my goal was to pass
31:11Passing wasn't even realistic
31:12Like two weeks ago
31:13Yeah, well
31:14You passed
31:14Wow
31:15Clark is gonna be jacked
31:17Is that your, uh
31:18Husband, Clark?
31:20No, no
31:20It's my, uh
31:21It's just my best friend
31:22He's been, like, my cheese cop
31:24And
31:24All right
31:25Well, uh
31:26Nurse Sher will show you up
31:33Steering
31:46Oh, hey
31:46Hey
31:47Who's that?
31:48Uh, safety sesh
31:49For the bikes
31:50Oh
31:51What are you doing
31:51With your computer?
31:53I'm, uh
31:53Uh
31:54Logging, uh
31:55Uh
31:56Power duration drop-off
31:58In case you and the girls
31:59Go riding at night
32:00I'd like to know
32:01How long you're gonna be
32:02Safely lighted
32:03Oh
32:03Yep
32:04Okay
32:04Yep
32:06All right
32:26Dude
32:29You have
32:30Life insurance now
32:56You have
33:225th key, Floyd's furniture's keys.
33:28One, home.
33:31Two, garage.
33:35Three, gym locker, Valley's Fitness.
33:40Four, work locker.
33:465th key, unknown.
33:50The charge was filed before we knew its purpose.
34:00Okay.
34:03I have three keys here that are unknown, even to me.
34:09Old keys.
34:11I don't know what they do, but I keep them because they used to open something in my life.
34:17And, you know, what if I have to open that thing again?
34:22Unknowns are a part of keychains.
34:25Unknowns are a part of life.
34:27He knows.
34:29Did you see it?
34:31When he stared at the key?
34:33Forrest?
34:33Yes.
34:35He knows.
34:36He realized something about it.
34:37And then he went quiet.
34:39I saw something.
34:41Something like that.
34:43Yeah.
34:47I want to know more.
34:49We always want to know more.
34:50We always want to know more.
34:51That's a part of this.
34:53That's probably why I'm always in this bar.
34:56Because you never know the whole thing.
34:58And you have to trust the evidence that you have.
35:01We should look at the wife.
35:02She has no motive, Jodi.
35:03Can we just consider?
35:05What if Clark's telling the truth?
35:07About?
35:08That Floyd wasn't into men.
35:11What would that do to your case against Forrest?
35:15Wouldn't it weaken it?
35:17Don't you want to know?
35:18It's crazy.
35:21French kissing a guy, I'll buy your car because you're polite.
35:24Because you're wonderful.
35:27He said wonderful.
35:33Can we interview modern love again?
35:35For what purpose?
35:36For the purpose of asking him if possibly Floyd kissed him just to be nice.
35:42We?
35:48Could you just tell me, generally, how things go down in these sexual encounters?
35:54DTF?
35:55Yeah.
35:56Same.
35:57Same as anywhere.
35:58Yeah, but this is sexual.
36:00Well, everything's sexual, so...
36:02What do you mean?
36:03Everything is.
36:04Every setting is.
36:05Everything's sexual?
36:06Yeah, well, there's a little separation between sexual impulsivity and, uh, well...
36:12It's an on-board chemical feature of every feature of our lives.
36:16It goes where we go.
36:18I'm here, so so is my sexual impulsivity.
36:21For instance, I've just discovered...
36:24that I'm attracted to bald, mature authority figures, sir.
36:31I'm imagining a scenario that involves you.
36:39Um...
36:41I'm washing your back.
36:43Washing my back?
36:47Yeah.
36:48You're there, too.
36:51It's okay.
36:52Can we just concentrate on our questions?
36:54Sure.
36:55Yeah.
36:56Fire away.
36:57So, how does a normal person like Floyd Smirnich, um, begin to become involved with something like DTF St. Louis?
37:04No one's normal.
37:07It just looks that way from across the street.
37:11Tell me, how would an encounter...
37:14How would that be?
37:15Well, you could meet for intimacy, and that would be in a grove of trees in a park somewhere.
37:20Or a pool house.
37:21Yeah.
37:21Or it could be to meet for breakfast.
37:24See if you have a connection.
37:25Sometimes you don't have one.
37:26You met Floyd Smirnich for breakfast?
37:28Yeah.
37:28To see if you had a connection?
37:30Yeah.
37:31Did you?
37:32Yeah.
37:35But, uh...
37:36But what?
37:37He was just a really nice guy, and we had a nice breakfast.
37:40I tried a little intimacy play there at the end, but mostly it's just a nice breakfast.
37:46What do you hope for from DTF encounters?
37:52Do you remember in school that they had recess?
37:59School can be hard for some kids.
38:02It can be hard to concentrate on something as difficult for that long a period of time, so at some
38:07point during the school day, they just stop the thing and let you go outside and have fun.
38:11But at some point, the tasks get harder, like algebra, chemistry, whatever, but there's no more recess.
38:28It's gone.
38:32You know, they don't even tell you.
38:36It's gone.
38:38You know, they don't even tell you.
38:51It's just gone.
38:54And...
38:55And he seemed...
38:57He seemed like something was weighing on him.
39:00Like he mentioned his, um, son or stepson or something.
39:05He felt left out.
39:07You know?
39:08Left out.
39:09And I told him I felt like that too.
39:11and a lot of my life left out yeah um let me ask you this do you think when you
39:20two were french
39:21kissing do you think that Floyd felt um that he was concerned that maybe his heart wasn't in it
39:31but he didn't want you to feel left out you know so he French'd you he was hands-off
39:42yeah he didn't reach around to touch my cheek in the manner that I reached around to touch his
39:49it was his left left cheek no one knows what they're doing with each other we find our way
39:58and it can be clumsy
40:03yeah no one's normal it just looks that way from across the street
40:08this is your saying I guess so you know it's just something I pass around to the DTF community
40:14to encourage people to care a little less about what the neighbors think that's why God invented
40:20P.O. boxes that's why what okay well in these strip malls in the suburbs karate tanning salons
40:29mailboxes etc you ever been in one sure what's in there P.O. boxes yeah all along the wall
40:37P.O. boxes now do you ever wonder why all these normal people who have homes out here
40:44need all these P.O. boxes
40:48mailboxes it's for privacy that's where all the dildos go sir and other yeah you know you get it
40:58yes that's where all the dildos go mailboxes etc they should call it dildos etc
41:07yeah I never thought of that
41:23that's why Forrest stopped talking and asked for a lawyer yes the mailbox etc is just down the street
41:30to 60 there you go that's the one that's the box no one's been paying the bill no one's been
41:38in the
41:38last few months 260 that's thorn can you tell me the date of this owner's last payment before he
41:45stopped paying yes okay take a minute thank you
42:23thank you
42:53She's gonna get a million dollars.
43:01Well, that's probably a motive, right?
43:05For murder?
43:07Yeah, Flo, it sure is.
43:12There was no hope, no reasoning, this rainy day in June.
43:26Hello.
43:28Hey.
43:29How can I help you?
43:32Um...
43:34Yes?
43:36Can I...
43:39Can I just check out a room for a detail?
43:44The cherished things are perishing and buried in their tomb.
43:53There is no hope, no reasoning, this rainy day in June.
44:10Hey.
44:14Morning.
44:15Yeah, you suck.
44:18I'm sorry, ma'am.
44:21You should be.
44:24You suck.
44:25Look at all those leaves bunched up in the corner, pool boy.
44:28I'm new.
44:30Yeah, you can tell.
44:31Why don't you come on inside, make some other tasks for you.
44:36We'll see how you do on those.
44:38Come on up, pool boy.
44:42Yes, ma'am.
44:45There was no hope, no reasoning, this rainy day in June.
44:52How old are you?
44:53I'm just 23.
44:55You've got a lot to learn.
44:56I sure do.
45:01Everybody felt the rain.
45:05Everybody felt the rain.
45:10Everybody felt the rain.
45:13Everybody felt the rain.
45:14Everybody felt the rain.
45:14Everybody felt the rain.
45:17Everybody felt the rain.
45:19Everybody felt the rain.
45:20Everybody felt the rain.
45:22Everybody felt the rain.
45:23Everybody felt the rain.
45:26Everybody felt the rain.
45:27Everybody felt the rain.

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