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00:00Parker!
00:03Parker!
00:43Was they barbecuing last night?
00:45Who?
00:46Him, next door, his girlfriend.
00:48His name's Michael and she's not his girlfriend.
00:51Right, well, whoever she is.
00:53Anyway, how do you know?
00:54I bumped into her at the shop.
00:56Kase says she's nice.
00:58Whatever.
00:59Right.
00:59They were barbecuing because I've smelled it.
01:01It was just a bonfire.
01:05There are calls on our drive.
01:08Right? They're chucking barbecue calls on our drive.
01:11What? Why?
01:13I've no idea why.
01:14Why would someone chuck barbecue calls?
01:18I've no idea what goes through that man's head, OK?
01:20It's some sort of game he's playing with me.
01:23He thinks he can get to me.
01:24You know, he thinks he can get under my skin.
01:29Who are you phoning?
01:31The council.
01:32Anti-social behaviour.
01:34It's only 8 o'clock. There'll be no-one there.
01:39Right. I've got to go.
01:41Go and knock on for him and tell him to clean it up
01:43and take photos first, all right, for evidence.
01:46And then phone the council and report it.
01:49Anti-social behaviour.
01:50Yes, sir.
01:53I know we're older now
01:56and lost again
02:01Down at the cul-de-sac
02:07You left, my friend
02:12Will you
02:14Come back, come back again?
02:32I put the kettle on
02:36The wise man song
02:38Hi, Hillary
02:43OK, I'll come over
02:44I took a needle and thread
02:47To make amends with you
02:55Oh, hello, love
02:56Thanks for ringing
02:57Is he OK?
02:58I don't know, love
02:59He's stressing about something
03:00but I can't figure it out
03:01I don't think he really knows
03:02He's in his room
03:04Cheers
03:22Oh
03:24Oh, it's you
03:26They'd better not have called you
03:27Did they call you?
03:28I've just come to see you
03:29like I always do
03:30I told them not to disturb you
03:35What's up, Dad?
03:36Hillary says you're getting stressed
03:37Are you worried about something?
03:39It's all this tut
03:40You know, crowding me in
03:42I have to sort it out
03:44I can't find anything
03:45OK, I can help you with that
03:46Is there something that you're looking for?
03:48Yeah, well
03:48What was it he said was lost?
03:51Something hidden
03:52Sorry, who's this?
03:53Him
03:54Him who came looking for something
03:57A book
03:58A bird book
03:58Dad, you're getting in a state now
04:00You're getting right confused
04:01They're constantly getting at me
04:03Asking me to find things
04:05OK, I'll tell you what
04:06I can take some away today
04:08Let's fill a box with stuff
04:09that you don't think you'll need
04:10and I'll keep it at my house
04:11till you need it again
04:12No, you can throw it all away
04:13I don't want any of it
04:14It's all junk
04:15Come on, Dad
04:15Let's sort through some
04:17and we can take it from there
04:21What you got there?
04:22It's my old pal Vic Whiffen
04:25Passed away
04:25But, er
04:27Not many of us left now
04:28Oh, I'm sorry, Dad
04:31That's your friend from Canada
04:32Yeah, yeah
04:33I got a letter from him
04:35only a week ago
04:36I was always going to go
04:37and visit him
04:38but, er
04:39too late now
04:42Did you just find this?
04:44Hmm?
04:46Nothing
04:48You say you had a letter
04:49from him last week?
04:50A couple of days ago
04:51It's on the side there
04:56He asked about you
04:58Always asked about you
05:00Hmm?
05:06Hmm?
05:13I don't know.
05:39I don't know.
06:29I don't know.
06:44I don't know.
06:58Yes.
06:59Er, they'll be in the garden section if we have them.
07:05I'm sorry, it doesn't look like we do.
07:09Oh, well.
07:15I tell you what, I might be able to help.
07:19Might it?
07:20Yeah, I think so.
07:23Can you come back in, like, an hour?
07:26Yeah, all right.
07:28I'll go do the rest of my shopping.
07:30Smashing.
07:31I'll see you back here.
07:32In an hour.
07:34That's it.
07:40Oh, the nine-pound hammer
07:43Is a little too heavy
07:45Maybe for my son
07:47Honey, for my son
07:49So roll on, buddy
07:51Don't you roll so slow
07:53How can I roll
07:55When the wheels don't roll
08:20Michael, what the hell?
08:27What the heck?
08:34What are you doing?
08:36Tip box
08:37Customer wanted one
08:39Michael, what's wrong with you?
08:41This is not
08:43We don't
08:44We don't sell something
08:46We don't think
08:46Oh, here she comes
08:48Hello, madam
08:49There you go
08:50Oh, that's lovely, thank you
08:53Hello, Gordon
08:54Hello, Mrs Stewart
08:55How's your mum?
08:56Is she all right?
08:57She's well, thank you, Mrs Stewart
08:59How much is this?
09:05Um, it's on us, Mrs Stewart
09:08With our compliments
09:10Thanks
09:11Give my love to your mum
09:13Bye, love
09:22Why didn't we come back to work yesterday?
09:24We?
09:24You
09:24You said don't bother coming back
09:26As a threat
09:28As in, if you leave
09:30Don't bother coming back
09:31Because you're fired
09:32An employer is not allowed
09:33To refuse an employee
09:35Reasonable time off
09:36In order to deal with
09:37An unexpected event
09:39Involving a dependent
09:40Well
09:41Because that would be
09:42Unfair dismissal
09:43And you would be guilty
09:44Of unfair dismissal
09:46And I would take you to court
09:47For unfair dismissal
09:50Get this cleaned up
10:07That's a shame
10:08If you don't have a chat
10:12Let's see over there
10:13All right
10:14Thanks
10:15Thank you
10:17You're welcome
10:25All right
10:27Yeah
10:30Hey, listen to this
10:31My dad got this letter
10:32From his friend in Canada
10:33Right
10:35Dear Brian
10:36Thank you for your last letter
10:37All's well here across the pond
10:39Although the winter's still
10:41Goes on a bit
10:44And then
10:46How's your boy Michael
10:48I'm always interested
10:49To hear what he's up to
10:51Is he well
10:52Did he ever find a new partner
10:54And settle down
10:55Is he happy these days
10:56I hope so
10:58Blah, blah, blah
10:59Your dear friend Vic
11:03So?
11:04Well, number one
11:04I don't think I've ever met the bloke
11:06So I don't know why
11:06He's so interested in what I'm up to
11:08He's just being friendly
11:10And number two
11:11He died over a decade ago
11:13Died?
11:15Passed away
11:15Dead
11:16In 2009
11:18And how old's the letter?
11:20Written two weeks ago
11:24Canada?
11:26Yeah
11:29And you're sure he's dead?
11:31I've seen the order of service
11:33From the funeral
11:33I googled him
11:35Found his obituary
11:36He's dead, all right
11:37Weird
11:38Can ghosts write letters?
11:40I know they can't lick stamps
11:50All right, Michael?
11:53Hello, Brigham
11:55Casey?
11:56Brigham
11:58You were slagging her off yesterday
11:59Gordon?
12:00Oh, yeah
12:01And you didn't come back to work
12:02Said he was gonna fire you
12:03Yeah?
12:04Not that bothered
12:07All I bothered about
12:08Getting fired
12:09Not really
12:10If I'm honest
12:13Don't
12:15You don't wanna
12:19Are you okay?
12:22You're so fired, mate
12:23Why not?
12:27She's gonna make me laugh
12:29She's gonna come to work
12:30On a long bike
12:36Shit without you, eh, mate
12:41Right
12:41Erm
12:42Cheers, Brigham
12:45Whatever
12:45Why not?
12:46Let's go
12:47Nothing
13:04I don't know
13:05That's why
13:06Thank you
13:07Help me
13:08vähän
13:09Trying to
13:10Let me
13:10Keep
13:10license
13:10Calm
13:10Relax
13:10Let me
13:11walk
13:11Email
13:13go
13:26Hello?
13:27It's Roy. Can you speak?
13:28Not really.
13:30I need to come over to the house with a surveyor.
13:34Why? When?
13:36You know why.
13:37When?
13:39When's convenient?
13:40None. No time.
13:41Okay, well, I'm going to come now.
13:42You can't. Look, it's not.
14:01Hey. How do you do, Michael?
14:04Yeah, not bad.
14:05I was just wondering if you had an update on the hedge situation.
14:09Yeah. No. I'm sorry. I don't know.
14:13Well, I think the chaffinches might be gone by now, so...
14:17You had a bird book the other day?
14:20Yeah, the chaffinches.
14:21Where did you get it from?
14:24The book?
14:24Yes.
14:26Um, I think it was my dad's.
14:29My dad's?
14:30No, my dad's.
14:31Did you go and see my dad?
14:34Your dad?
14:35Yes.
14:35At the nursing home.
14:38Your dad?
14:39And ask him for a bird book.
14:41You what?
14:42Sorry, I don't think I understand this conversation.
14:44Yes.
14:46It's confusing.
14:56Old enough
15:01You are old enough
15:08To know the way
15:13This is going
15:23Walk me home
15:27The long way
15:32Home
15:33And go away
15:39You're not going
15:47I am the dead
15:50In the evening
15:53The hour
15:55In the morning
15:59And the morning
16:02Cry
16:03It is broke
16:05Or it's dead
16:09Oh, my God
16:37Hello, Michael
16:37I'm sorry
16:38I'm not doing this to be a shit
16:39But, um, I'm desperate, mate
16:42I'm bankrupt
16:44It's been a long time coming
16:45And, uh, this house
16:47It belongs to me
16:48Sorry, who's that?
16:50She's a surveyor
16:51I just wanted her to come and have a look around
16:53So we can figure out what
16:55Needs to be done
16:56Before people can start viewing
16:58The property
17:01Nice to meet you, Michael
17:04So, can we, um
17:06Can we come in, please?
17:07Well, I've set some chairs up in the garden, actually
17:09We've come to see the house, mate
17:10Not the garden
17:11Well, you need to give me more time
17:12To tidy up and stuff
17:14Hey, I need some more time
17:16To tidy up
17:17Roy!
17:17Jesus Christ
17:18What is all this shit?
17:20What, you stop piling?
17:21It's this way
17:22Come through
17:28Come through
17:28It's this way
17:33Um
17:38Oh, my God
17:39Look at this
17:41It's Christmas, 1979
17:44It's me
17:45Mum
17:46Clear
17:47Yeah
17:47Would you like to come through?
17:48The action man helicopter
17:51Mum thought it came with an action man
17:55But it didn't
18:01I never did get an action man
18:05It's this way
18:11What's that?
18:13Manure
18:14Stinks
18:19The house is going on the market
18:21In three weeks' time, Michael
18:22Three weeks?
18:23Sorry, Michael
18:24You've got no choice
18:27It's going to happen
18:28I'm sorry
18:28I thought you were a surveyor
18:30Solicitor
18:31You said that she was a surveyor
18:33Did I?
18:33I meant solicitor
18:36Well, I'll need to talk to my solicitor
18:38You don't have a solicitor
18:39Then I shall get a solicitor
18:41You should get one
18:42I'm going to get a solicitor
18:43It would be much easier
18:45If I had a lawyer to deal with
18:47Easier?
18:48For who?
18:49For everyone, Michael
18:50Christ
18:50Do not make this more difficult
18:52Than it needs to be, please
18:54And the house
18:55Obviously needs to be cleared
18:58What's in the boxes?
18:59I don't know
19:00What do you mean you don't know?
19:01I mean, I don't know
19:02I don't know what's in the boxes
19:03They're not mine
19:04Well, whose are they then?
19:05They're your sisters
19:07They're Clears
19:09It's stock that she left behind in lock-ups when she went
19:14Second-hand books, I think, mainly
19:18Right, well, we can help you to get rid of them
19:22Oh, get rid of them
19:23To figure out what to do with them
19:38So what else do you need to know?
19:41So much, mate
19:44So much
19:53Hiya, it's me
19:55Do you want to come round?
19:58It's time
20:12I think we should probably wear these two
20:14Just to be on the safe side
20:15No, mate
20:16Look, whatever's supposed to have happened to them
20:17In their little shit pit
20:19Has either happened or it hasn't, right?
20:21Me wearing a Dunelm dressing gown
20:22Isn't going to change anything
20:23Fair enough
20:24Yeah
20:29Right
20:31I'm going in
20:35Okay
20:42Hello, Casey
20:43Hiya, Bev
20:44This is Clive, my husband
20:46Clive, this is Casey
20:47Oh, cool
20:48How you doing, Casey?
20:49Has he got you slaving, has he?
20:51Slaving?
20:52No, mate
20:53I'm just helping out
20:54Oh, God
20:55Probably can't say that nowadays
20:57No, you can't
20:59It's a minefield, isn't it?
21:00No, not really
21:01What are you wearing that for?
21:03I don't want to get dirty, do I, Bev?
21:05You walleye
21:05Right, I'll see you later, love
21:07See ya
21:08See you later, Casey
21:11Why do you always do that?
21:13Do what?
21:14Pretend to be nice
21:15What the hell is that supposed to mean?
21:17Well, I know you're going to say something fucking horrible about her now
21:26I can't find them
21:28What?
21:28They must have sunk into the ground
21:30They should be right here
21:41Casey, I nearly went under
21:46What's going on?
21:47Where are they?
21:47I don't know
21:48No, just wait, wait
21:49Hold me arm
21:51Yeah, I am
21:54Okay, okay, I've got them
21:57Yeah, they've gone right under
21:59Pull us out
22:08We're going to have to rethink this
22:15I can feel it
22:17Is it the right way up?
22:20Yeah, I've got it by its neck
22:22Right, give it a gentle pull
22:26Here it comes
22:29Gently
22:43You got it?
22:43Yeah
22:44Okay, take her inside
22:47Okay, take her inside
22:58Oh, there she comes
23:07I've got it
23:22I've got it
23:22Okay
23:23Hurry up!
23:24Oh, Ronnie!
23:24My baby!
23:25Help!
23:30Go on
23:36Oh, my God.
24:12They've grown.
24:14They've reached the stage of whatever.
24:17The state of divination.
24:20I don't know.
24:22How do you find out?
24:24I have to ask him a question.
24:33Go on, then.
24:35I don't know what to ask.
24:36Mate, you told me what you wanted to ask.
24:38Yeah, but we should ask them a test question first.
24:41You know, see if it works.
24:46So what can they answer questions on?
24:47Anything.
24:48The future, the past, anything.
24:53OK.
24:55OK, yeah.
24:58We'll use these, yeah?
24:59Pick a card and get it to tell us what it is.
25:02OK.
25:04How will it tell us?
25:05Mate, I don't know.
25:09Go on, ask it.
25:10Talk to it.
25:15Do you want to play cards?
25:19Yeah, cards.
25:20Your Majesty.
25:21Oh, yeah, sorry.
25:23Would you like to play cards, Your Majesty?
25:29OK.
25:31OK.
25:32Your Majesty, what card will I take from the top of the deck?
25:43Whoa!
25:43Oh, my God.
25:44The four of hearts.
25:47Oh, wait.
25:48Shuffle them again.
25:49Why?
25:50He's chosen.
25:51Yeah, but if he's predicting the future, you can shuffle them again.
25:53You can shuffle them as many times as you like.
25:55It won't make a difference.
26:02Once more.
26:13Holy shit!
26:15OK.
26:16All right, Your Majesty.
26:18Again.
26:24Seven of Diamonds?
26:32Well, I guess it works.
26:35OK.
26:36OK, so we know that they can predict the future.
26:39What else can they do?
26:40Can they solve a crime?
26:42Tell you your deepest secret?
26:43I suppose so.
26:44What about someone else's secret?
26:45Yeah, I suppose.
26:46Your Majesty, I would like you to tell me when was the last time Michael cried?
26:52Whoa, whoa, hang on.
26:53I'm just asking a request, Jim.
26:54No, he can't do that.
27:03Do you cry at Brokeback Mountain?
27:05Well, I mean, you know, it's a sad film.
27:08Brilliant.
27:09OK, what else?
27:10What else can we ask?
27:11Are there any sports happening now?
27:13There must be somewhere in the world, right?
27:17Yes, here.
27:19Copenhagen versus Skanderborg.
27:22Danish women's handball.
27:23There's like ten minutes left.
27:25OK, OK, so what do we ask?
27:27Your Majesty.
27:29Right now, Ajax-Kobernhaven...
27:33It's Ajax.
27:35...are playing Skanderborg at home in Denmark.
27:38Can you tell me, will Copenhagen win?
27:45OK, so the other team, Skanderborg, are going to win.
27:50And what will the final score be?
27:5531-29.
27:57OK, what's the score now?
27:5928 all.
28:01OK.
28:01OK, ØAUCI.
28:06...
28:12Oh,Ha!
28:19Poe!
28:20I don't have.
28:21Jo!
28:22Ja, ja, ja!
28:23Kom up!
28:24Ja, ja!
28:24Ja, ja!
28:25Oh, det är sk intendant.
28:26Ja, ja.
28:30Ja, ja!
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