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00:13I read the contracts. I negotiate with the brands back and forth. Do you know how long
00:17negotiation takes so that we can get paid what we get paid? I do because I do it too.
00:22It's not just you. Once in a while. Everything that I do. Sorry I'm shouting. There's frustration
00:28there isn't it? That's what it is. I understand. I'm so sorry. But what if I started doing crazy stuff
00:32out of frustration? Yeah and I can handle anything. Period. That's why I'm handling this conversation
00:36so easy. Before you decide on marriage why are you two even together? Let's have a think about that.
00:51So is it business? Is it love? Is it dependency?
00:57What is it? I love her. I don't think anyone will love me the same way she does and understands
01:05me the same way she does. I know it's love. This sort of interface between work, your professional
01:16lives and your personal lives and you just it's all mixed up. And sometimes we get lost
01:23and yeah and that. You do yeah. Yeah. So let's wrap up these sessions. Let's think about what we've
01:29covered here. We know that you've got different views on marriage. What is marriage? How is marriage?
01:37What does it what's it look like? But as we all know marriage can be tailored to suit you too
01:42and that's something that you can think about. And we know that actually business and home life and
01:50personal relationship all get mixed up together. So there's room for splitting those up a bit,
01:58being a bit clearer, having conversations about what's what. We also know that you actually love each
02:03other. Not just because you're in business together, not just because you're too dependent on each other,
02:10because actually there is a love still there. Take it away, talk to each other, think about it and work
02:18with it. Okay. Man this whole experience therapy thing has been a lot ups and downs, but overall I think
02:30it like got us closer. I don't think necessarily my opinion has changed on marriage, but I think
02:36that Maria has heard me and what I had to say. And now it's just all about the hard work.
02:40I know I'm
02:41not going to give up and I hope she doesn't give up. And yeah, I'm looking forward to our next
02:46chapter.
02:48Thank you both very much. Thank you for your help. Thank you. It was nice meeting you. Take care.
02:53Thank you very much. Take care. Bye bye. Bye. I've learned that Victor also has things of which he wants
03:02to,
03:02you know, share and open up to me about. And I hear that I received that, you know, but I'm
03:08the whole
03:09marriage goal thing. I'm not going to lie to you. Like I'm not changing my whole entire self just to
03:14get
03:14that. Like, no, that needs to come from the heart, from the love. I want to feel fully seen and
03:20fully
03:20fulfilled in our relationship. And we'll see. You never know. I might be engaged one day or we might
03:28be broken up one day. Who knows? Just got to do what's right for me. That's, I feel like that's
03:33the
03:33one thing I've learned for therapy. I've just got to do what's right for me.
03:59How are you? I'm fine. How are you?
04:01Tired. Lots of food. Do you know how late you are? I know. I can do anything. I tried.
04:10I tried my best. I tried my best. That's not funny. You're meant to spend quality time with
04:21me. Me being here is a lot. It's, you know. I feel like you're not being, like, very open
04:28in a session. But I feel like you're holding back. I mean, there was one thing, you know.
04:33What? It was just a brief comment that my mum, my mum made. Okay. Okay, she basically just
04:41said, I don't know if Debbie's the one for you now in your life, you know.
04:47But why are you brushing it off like that's not a big deal? I thought it was just like a
04:52comment.
04:54I feel like that's a very unacceptable comment for your mum to make about our relationship.
05:00But this is what I'm saying. I knew me telling you it was going to cause this.
05:02Call her. Okay.
05:08This is some bollocks.
05:13Wow. You okay?
05:16Yeah, what's up?
05:17Um, I'm with Debbie now.
05:20Uh-huh.
05:21Um, and she wants to talk to you.
05:24Okay.
05:25I'm just going to put your last speaker. You guys chop it up.
05:30Hello, Mum.
05:31Yes, darling.
05:32Kelvin said that you think I'm not the one for him at the moment.
05:37Uh-huh.
05:40Um, you know why I said that, Deb? Because, you know, you complain about it.
05:45You think he hasn't got time for you. But you know why he hasn't got time for you.
05:48You know that he's doing this for the future.
05:51Do you not see me around Kelvin five days a week? Do I not always come to the shop to
05:55help him?
05:55I do. I do. I do.
05:57So that's why I find it upsetting that you're telling him that I'm not the one for him.
06:02When I've been here for how long? Years? No, no, no.
06:05And I stood beside him.
06:08It's been too long for you to, you know, there's too much at stake for you to walk away.
06:12So be there. Through thick and thin.
06:17You should have come to talk to me, just to be like, you know what, let me speak to you,
06:21you know, give me some advice.
06:24If you want this thing to work, you need to chill.
06:28Good.
06:31You get me?
06:33OK, Mum.
06:34OK, darling.
06:35Talk to you later.
06:36OK, bye.
06:37Bye, bye.
06:42OK?
06:43I just feel like your mum shouldn't get involved and say things like that.
06:59Carmen and Junior have used therapy to discuss some very, very, very difficult issues they've been having.
07:05Their biggest block to real communication is Carmen's insistence on the fourth child, whilst Junior has been clear that for
07:13him the family is complete.
07:15This couple now have to navigate the breach of trust that the vasectomy has created.
07:21After 20 years together, the question is, can they find a way back?
07:30Thank you for coming back.
07:33So this is our last session.
07:35And I thought we would start with a bit of a recap of what we have managed to cover.
07:42For you, Junior, you've talked a lot about wanting more affection, wanting to be seen by Carmen.
07:48And Carmen, you've talked a lot about not being heard, big decisions not being shared.
07:54Then we moved on to the vasectomy that was done without really negotiating.
08:00And the revelation that actually the sperm hadn't been frozen.
08:05And how that left you feeling, Carmen.
08:09Devastated.
08:12OK.
08:13I felt betrayed. Like, you know, I didn't...
08:17It's not like I knew about any of this.
08:18I don't feel like I've betrayed Carmen.
08:22I feel like it's quite a heavy word to use to describe the scenario.
08:27I mean, that's how I feel. That's how I've felt, so...
08:31OK.
08:32You know.
08:33Like, I've never had anything like this in our relationship before, where I've felt like such a lack of trust.
08:40OK.
08:42I don't know what we can do moving forward.
08:44And at this point, I'm not even 100% sure if Junior does want to have more kids, so...
08:49I don't want to have more kids right now. I've made that very clear.
08:52And now I'm being spoken to, like, I've betrayed you.
09:00OK.
09:02I want to focus on us, right?
09:05And now... I want to focus on us too.
09:07So let's just do that then.
09:08You've made yourself very clear and I respect and appreciate how you feel.
09:12I just feel like we've got other things to work on right now.
09:15And I feel like we need to work on our relationship and focus on that, you know?
09:21Something that I was left with, Junior, you mentioned how devastated you had been at the break-up.
09:27And you were never going back there.
09:30You were never going to feel that bereft again.
09:33And the question is, is the vasectomy a way of taking back control?
09:37I would say that, yeah, I guess it probably is.
09:42Because I don't want to ever feel what I felt before.
09:45I don't ever want to be in that position, you know?
09:47What, vulnerable?
09:48I don't want to be vulnerable. I don't want to be, you know, devastated.
09:52I don't want to go through what I went through again.
09:54When me and Carmen broke up, it was very difficult for me.
09:58I went to a very dark place and I didn't feel loved, obviously.
10:02I want our relationship to be about us, not just about how and when we can make babies.
10:10You know, it's important to me that she shows me that she loves me.
10:17What about you, Carmen? What Junior is saying? Does that make sense to you?
10:21Yeah, it does. Because I feel like a lot of this has been about me having a fourth child.
10:26I also do want you to know that I am appreciative of you and that I love you and that
10:33you are an amazing husband, an amazing father and so important to me.
10:39And I kind of want to show you that it's not just about having a fourth child, like that's not
10:45the only thing that I care about.
10:48So, as much as that was a priority for me, I feel like this has really taught me to listen
10:55more to my partner's feelings too, as opposed to just my own feelings and just sort of powering through of
11:03what I want.
11:03And so that's been really helpful for me.
11:07I'm very grateful that Carmen has said that. It means a lot. And I think I need to see it.
11:14You know, I just need to see and feel what she's saying over the next 12 months.
11:19And after feeling appreciated and feeling like she sees me and, you know, she is really about me and her,
11:27my feelings towards additional members of the family might completely change.
11:31Let's focus on us for a year and then we can revisit potentially maybe reversing the vasectomy.
11:37Carmen.
11:38I just want everything to be transparent moving forward.
11:43Resentment builds when nobody is listening.
11:46So you have to be able to communicate what you're feeling resentful, what you're feeling angry about.
11:52I think what we went through before, I got to know myself a lot more through that break and realised,
11:59you know, when you go quiet and you stop communicating, you're actually just being defensive and trying to protect yourself.
12:05So I've given Carmen that trust and I've said to myself, I don't need to protect myself around this person.
12:12I can be open.
12:14Kind of.
12:16Apart from one subject.
12:18Apart from one subject.
12:19OK, kind of.
12:20Apart from one subject.
12:21I can see where I was wrong.
12:23Do you really?
12:23Yeah.
12:24OK, good.
12:25I feel like we need to continue with therapy.
12:29We need to, you know, take your advice.
12:32Like, I feel like there's a lot more work that needs to be done here.
12:36You've both been going alongside each other and you need to sort of make intentional moves to bridge that, to
12:42meet each other in the way, to keep going, keep that communication open. Would you agree?
12:47Yeah.
12:47Definitely.
12:49OK.
12:50Our time has ended.
12:52Thanks.
12:53Thank you, Karen.
12:54Thank you for all your help.
12:55Thanks for your help.
12:56You're welcome.
12:56We appreciate it.
12:58This has definitely been a journey.
13:03But I feel like it was 100% needed and I definitely would not have found out certain things had
13:10we not have done this.
13:12But if anything like this ever happened again, I would have to seriously question if this relationship is for me.
13:21But Junior's my soulmate and I think we just need to communicate a lot better and be honest with ourselves
13:32and with each other.
13:33The future is hopeful.
13:39The reason why I came here was to save our marriage. And moving forward, I definitely will not be behaving
13:47in that way again, in terms of like hiding stuff from her. Carmen means the world to me. She's my
13:54childhood sweetheart. So I think we'll be able to get through the hurdles ahead.
13:58Not far enough.
13:58I think we could.
13:58No.
14:02We are the only one.
14:04We are the only one.
14:05We are the only one.
14:06Love is the answer.
14:09To every question.
14:11We are the only one.
14:14We are one one.
14:15We are one one.
14:15We are the only one.
14:16Love is the answer.
14:17So where's the Coke Sprite?
14:20What's this?
14:21That's for that. You get that at the corner shop, babe.
14:24No, not here.
14:25Sometimes I can't lie. I'm a corner shop babe.
14:27Cos what is this?
14:29Let's talk about the last session.
14:31Let's talk.
14:33You know what? I feel like when you haven't had kids,
14:36you're, like, planning the future and stuff.
14:38You say, oh, I want a big family, blah-de-blah-de-blah.
14:41Like, when you actually have a kid and you understand
14:43what it is to have a kid, bro,
14:46it's nothing like what I thought it would be.
14:48I'm telling you as well on a level.
14:51Like, I'm not just having one kid.
14:54I'm not going to have more kids than I can handle on my own.
14:58I only want to have the amount of kids that I know that
15:00if everything went to shit, I can handle this.
15:03Yeah, I can't, like, I'm one and done, like,
15:07on a level for real, for real.
15:08I don't think I can do it again.
15:10If that's what you're saying, then...
15:12No, honestly, because for me...
15:15Cos I already told you, that's a deal-breaker for me.
15:17I'll be so honest, like...
15:18But then, what are we doing here?
15:22I don't know.
15:37The main issues between this couple is Kelvin's blindness
15:42to the need for the relationship to be given attention.
15:45He grew up in a household where mum just worked
15:48to keep the family together.
15:50He's unconsciously re-enacting that,
15:52but he doesn't have to do that.
15:54What he needs to know is that he can have his business
15:57and a relationship.
15:58They can co-exist.
16:00Whether this relationship survives
16:02comes down to one thing,
16:04their willingness to find a compromise.
16:09Hello, Debbie.
16:10Hello.
16:11Hi.
16:11Hello, Kelvin.
16:12Hello.
16:14Welcome back to our last session together.
16:17I know.
16:18Are you comfortable?
16:20Yes.
16:20Yes.
16:21I do remember giving you some homework.
16:25How did that go?
16:28I was going to cook for Debbie at mine.
16:30It fell on a day where Arsenal were playing
16:33the last game of the season, so...
16:34He left me waiting, I think,
16:37he was like an hour and a half late.
16:39Yeah.
16:39Did you tell Debbie that you were going to be late?
16:41You didn't tell me you're going to the Arsenal match.
16:44Yeah.
16:44Are you not understanding?
16:45That's not how you communicate with your partner
16:47and keep her waiting an hour and 30 minutes.
16:53But I still came.
16:54Anyways, we can get...
16:55You got there.
16:56I got there.
16:57I was...
16:57I came, I cooked, we spoke a bit,
16:59I started cooking.
17:01We had a little bit of an argument.
17:05OK, take me through this.
17:09What did you tell me while you was cutting your onions?
17:13So, there was a comment that my mum made.
17:15She was just saying on the phone that, you know,
17:17I don't think Debbie's the one for you right now.
17:19Try and sort of navigate your life.
17:21His mum has gone to him and said,
17:23I don't think Debbie's the one
17:25because she's putting pressure on you.
17:27She's saying you're too busy.
17:28You need to run your business.
17:30That's what's happening.
17:31And now...
17:32But it's not just my mum's influence.
17:33It's also reality.
17:34No.
17:35It's your mum's influence.
17:38And there shouldn't be all this delusion going on
17:40of Debbie's not the one.
17:43I do think your mum is a bit jealous.
17:47I know she's not.
17:50His mum has to be jealous.
17:53Because why would you say
17:54you think I'm not the one for your son?
17:56I think she believes I'm taking her spot.
18:00But at the end of the day, you're his mum.
18:03You're not going to marry Kelvin.
18:05So, I feel like she just needs to have a bit of boundaries.
18:10Kelvin will never admit that.
18:14I am her only boy.
18:15When a mum is advising their child, it's...
18:19Well, you're 27. You're a grown man now.
18:22I'll always be her child, you know, until both of us go on the ground.
18:25She's coming from a good place.
18:28How would you feel about going forward with Kelvin
18:31if mum didn't approve of the union?
18:34If you was to be my husband or you wanted to marry me as your wife,
18:38I would expect you to stand up for me with things like that.
18:43I wouldn't want to marry into a family where your mum doesn't approve of me.
18:48Never.
18:50She shouldn't have said it. My mum shouldn't have said it.
18:51But with that being said, I understand where she was coming from.
18:57I think she was coming from a place of just being a mum, you know,
19:00always looking out for her son.
19:02So, I think she just kind of wanted to protect myself, my dream.
19:07My mum, I know her.
19:08She wants to sort of meddle and get involved.
19:11That's her character. I've accepted it, you know?
19:14Complete delusion.
19:15Losing me, Kelvin, sleepless nights.
19:19And once I'm gone, never coming back.
19:21And you know this.
19:25So, where does this leave you?
19:28What do you want? What don't you want?
19:29What can you do? What can't you do?
19:31I want, OK. Let's make it clear.
19:32I want. I want to focus on this business.
19:35So, where does that leave the relationship?
19:43If he wants to pursue me as his girlfriend or prove to me that he wants me,
19:49he needs to just put in that effort.
19:51I don't want him to just feel comfortable.
19:52I know I'm going to see Debbie on Monday because she's coming to the shop.
19:55So, I'm going to take a CR.
19:57Yeah.
19:58On helping you with all your business stuff and just leave that to you.
20:02OK.
20:04I think it's quite a healthy solution.
20:06Oh, good.
20:07Because it's separating business and your relationship.
20:10Mm-hm.
20:11And whether you can make that space in your head
20:15for the thought that actually there is a relationship.
20:18I need to feed it.
20:21I need to think about it.
20:23I need to be in it sometimes in the week.
20:26Yeah.
20:29I'll have a challenge, so...
20:31Because sometimes I feel like he's confusing seeing me...
20:34Yes.
20:34..in the shop.
20:35Yeah, definitely.
20:36As, like, I've seen her.
20:37Yeah, I agree.
20:38Definitely, definitely.
20:39So, separating that is a good first move, really,
20:42to test out whether you both have intention.
20:45Does that sound workable?
20:47Yeah.
20:50Would you like to sort of agree that here?
20:53Debbie, you talk to Kelvin and just say what it is
20:56that you want over the next six months or a year.
21:00So, I'll give you, like, your space, do your business stuff.
21:04However, if you want this to work,
21:07show me with action.
21:09Cool.
21:10How do you feel about that, Kelvin?
21:14Yeah, I want to make it work.
21:17We'll see.
21:19From couples therapy, I feel just stronger.
21:23I feel proud of myself for putting myself, like, out there
21:26and staying true to myself.
21:29I love Kelvin.
21:30And if he finds balance, then I see a future with him.
21:36But if there's no balance, then no.
21:40Don't forget what we've said here today.
21:43I won't forget this experience, trust me.
21:46Has it been that bad?
21:47No, it's been all right.
21:48It's been good.
21:50I think my main takeaway is love is complicated.
21:55And sometimes people aren't going to see life from the same lens
21:59that you do.
22:00Bye for now.
22:01All right.
22:09I hope that after this therapy session, we're more aligned with each other
22:13when I'm trying, spending quality time with Debbie, outside work.
22:17I do love Debbie.
22:19And we'll see what the future has for both of us.
22:33When it comes to the conversation on having more kids in the future,
22:37I feel like we're definitely on different pages.
22:39I feel like I've had insight on what it's like to have a child with him.
22:45I definitely don't regret it, but I wouldn't want to times that now by two.
22:53We had a date and yeah, it just took a left turn.
22:56We were discussing potentially having more kids in the future,
23:00which we both agreed that we were going to do.
23:03I really need a lot of answers, man.
23:05I don't even know if this girl still loves me.
23:07I hope we can sort things out.
23:09But at the end of the day, I just want clarity.
23:20Hi, Jay. Hi, Karen.
23:22Welcome back.
23:23Hello, Daisy. Hi.
23:25How are you two?
23:27Good.
23:28Why do I not actually feel that?
23:31Oh, I'm good as an individual.
23:36OK.
23:37Yeah.
23:37Jay?
23:41Not great.
23:43Do you want to tell me why?
23:46We went on a date.
23:48It was supposed to be for us to have a good time
23:50and we were just sort of going over the conversation about having more kids.
23:55The more we discussed that, it just sort of took a left turn, I would say.
24:02For you, Daisy?
24:05I feel like I would need to see some genuine change for me to feel safe having more kids with
24:13him.
24:13OK.
24:14We'll come back to that.
24:17So, I gave you some questions and you went away and thought about them.
24:21Yeah.
24:21So, can we go through them?
24:24What is working in this relationship that I still deeply value?
24:27And, Daisy, to you first, please.
24:30I really value the friendship element of a relationship and I feel that's one thing we always have.
24:37Every day with Joseph does feel like spending time with a really good friend.
24:44And, Jay?
24:46I said I value the sense of togetherness that we have when we go through issues.
24:52I said I also value the deep love and connection that we have for each other.
24:57And I value the sense of care and honesty that she has sometimes as well.
25:04Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes.
25:05Yeah.
25:05Hold on, you've both said the same thing.
25:08Well, she's talking like she's talking about some best friend or something.
25:11How have, how is that what you've interpreted from what I've said?
25:16Bro, I'm not your friend, bro, like.
25:18I said I value the friendship element of a relationship.
25:21And that's all that you value.
25:25You don't see that as a fundamental element of a relationship, Jay?
25:28It is fundamental, but, like, I wanted to hear that she valued the love that we have and the connection
25:34that we share.
25:36But that's obvious.
25:37OK.
25:37It's not obvious.
25:38We'll come back.
25:39What is hurting me or wearing me down in ways I'm struggling to accept or forgive?
25:47Daisy?
25:49Joseph's lack of sentiment is wearing me down.
25:53When I newly gave birth, he often says he was around when I needed him.
25:59But in the moments where he could show his support and empathy for everything I'd gone through, when it wasn't
26:06absolutely necessary, he didn't.
26:10I'm hearing there that you don't feel as if Jay really understands you and is there for you in that
26:16moment.
26:17I did feel alone a lot of times.
26:20I did feel alone a lot of times.
26:20Yeah.
26:22OK, if nothing changes, can I live with this relationship long-term?
26:32Because I do want to have a bigger family and I've got the impression that she would want to as
26:41well, but then sometimes I get the impression that she doesn't.
26:44So I'm kind of confused on that.
26:47Because ultimately, I'm the one giving birth and ultimately, I will be the primary carer.
26:52OK, can you do it yourself though?
26:53Hold on.
26:54Yes.
26:54Can you impregnate yourself?
26:55Ultimately, it would be my decision.
26:57Can we just think about, if you two weren't together, what would that mean for both of you?
27:04I mean, are you together just for Allura?
27:07No.
27:08No?
27:09If we weren't together, I would never leave her stranded, like...
27:13That's what I want to talk about.
27:14I would never not support her, because when we did start this journey when she was pregnant...
27:19Yeah.
27:19I was there the whole time.
27:22We're going to shake it up a bit.
27:24Can we do an exercise where you two have a think about what it might be like to co-parent?
27:32What were your thoughts?
27:34I feel like, deep down, he would prefer to co-parent.
27:41What about you?
27:49I feel like this has unravelled a lot of things that I couldn't ignore.
27:59To be honest, I'd rather leave her just being alone.
28:05Because for me, it just sounds like he's miserable, for the most part.
28:12I don't truly want to be co-parents.
28:15I don't think anybody does.
28:16I think everybody who has a partner or has a kid with a partner hopes for the happy ending one
28:24day.
28:24I just feel like, ultimately, that's probably what's best.
28:28I wouldn't want to contribute to somebody's misery.
28:33I would just say, find somebody who's on your wavelength.
28:37Have you heard me say I'm miserable?
28:39No, I haven't, and this might sound harsh.
28:42But are you using him as an excuse, because actually you do want to separate and you want to co
28:46-parent?
28:46I was literally going to say the same thing.
28:48Is that what you're doing?
28:49No, not at all.
28:49If that's what you want to do, just stand on it.
28:51Not at all.
28:51I'm not using him as an excuse, and this is the thing, he hasn't explicitly said those things,
28:58but from all the things that he's complained about, I couldn't imagine that somebody like that is happy.
29:04There's no happy or miserable.
29:05Isn't it things to work through?
29:07Yeah, it's just things to work on.
29:08It's things to work on.
29:08Of course, I'm not happy about certain things, but there's also so many different things I'm happy about,
29:13which I show you all the time.
29:15The thing is, you don't acknowledge them.
29:17I do acknowledge you.
29:18Why am I going to acknowledge, why am I going to be discussing things I'm happy about?
29:21There's nothing to discuss there.
29:24You said that, you feel like I'm constantly bringing you down, but I feel like you don't.
29:29As a father.
29:31Okay, as a dad, as a person in general, whatever it may be,
29:35but I feel like you don't realise that that is what you have done throughout this whole experience.
29:39I feel like, although I may criticise him about one thing,
29:42I always make sure to then praise him about something else.
29:46Whereas vice versa, I just feel like it's constant criticism.
29:50And for me...
29:51Praise me about...
29:51I haven't heard any praise.
29:53Okay, that's fine.
29:55I don't care about this anymore.
29:57You see?
29:57I'm actually tired.
29:58This is boring at this point.
30:03Like, why is she so irritated?
30:06She's hurt.
30:09Do you want to see if she wants to come back in just to finish this session?
30:13No, I don't care.
30:13No, I don't care.
30:15Generally.
30:16I don't care.
30:18Joseph was basically talking out his arse,
30:21and I just don't like the image that he's portraying.
30:23And for me, it was a waste of time sitting there listening to that,
30:27because it's just simply not true.
30:30I'm done.
30:40This is what I have to deal with every...
30:42It's just draining.
30:44Like, who wants to deal with that, but...
30:48Why don't you go and see how she's feeling?
31:03I've been rotting.
31:15You actually left.
31:18You left me.
31:20Yeah, I've walked out before, but I've never left you.
31:22I've never left here without you.
31:24That's fine. The only thing about me, I am going to walk out,
31:26cos I'm not going to sit there and listen to that.
31:27That's bullshit. You always say I don't support you.
31:29That's a lie. I'm not doing it anymore.
31:32OK, cool. Talk to yourself!
31:35Whatever, man.
31:42She does know I love her, and she knows I love Elora as well, deeply,
31:46so... I don't know.
31:47I feel like sometimes that's used against me.
31:49I don't want to be made to look like the villain.
31:54So, I don't know where this leaves us.
31:56It seems like it's over, so...
31:59Yeah, I guess that's what it is. Over.
32:12Don't give up on this
32:16promise me you won't let go so crazy.
32:25I don't want to be made to look like the villain.
32:25Good news is that Victor and my parents have worked it out.
32:28They all sat down, they spoke about everything they need to speak about,
32:31and now it's all hashed, it's all good.
32:33They're all aligned with each other now, so it's perfect.
32:36We want the love for each other to be the base layer for everything and the foundation for
32:42everything we do. From now on, everything else comes next.
32:46Yeah. Oh, that was good, wasn't it?
32:48That was very good.
32:49That was very good.
32:50No, because you have stuff...
32:51Oh, you don't want my lip gloss?
32:52No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
32:57We're definitely going to continue some therapy.
33:00We need a Karen in our life.
33:03Sometimes you need that middle person just to kind of help you manoeuvre through certain
33:09conversations with each other.
33:10It's been a positive experience.
33:12Yeah.
33:16Life has been...
33:20amazing.
33:22I've been travelling, I got a promotion at my job.
33:26Everything just seems to be falling into place,
33:28and I've just been the happiest I've ever been in a very long time.
33:34With that being said...
33:39me and Kelvin are still together.
33:43Definitely growing as a couple and individuals.
33:46Debbie's a lot busier now, so she definitely understands the struggles I was facing.
33:51And now I'm on the receiving end, so yeah, it's a double-edged sword, but definitely growing.
34:02I can say that after therapy, it opened a lot of wounds, and it was very difficult.
34:07We nearly didn't make it.
34:08We decided to continue therapy, and it has been a journey.
34:14I'm still, like, obviously letting her know that I'm going out with her friends.
34:19It's just still trying to find balance, I guess.
34:21We're working through it.
34:27So, with me and Daisy's relationship right now...
34:32Yeah, we're not together.
34:35We were just on two completely different pages.
34:37It felt like we were speaking in two different languages.
34:40But our daughter's our main party, so...
34:42Irregardless of what's going on between us, we definitely make sure to show up for her.
34:46I think the resentment from a lot of the past issues that we've been through
34:51and things that we just can't necessarily get past has just sort of caught up to us.
34:56We've broken up lots of times, but what makes me feel different this time is we don't live together anymore.
35:02Yeah, it just makes it more final, you know?
35:05I could see myself getting back with him, but I feel like I definitely need to deal with my pride
35:14and learn to forgive.
35:21There's a reason that we were together in the first place, so...
35:24Yeah, that's my answer.
35:30You made it to the sofa.
35:31You've made it to the sofa.
35:34Things are going really well between us.
35:37I think therapy has helped us understand each other a bit more.
35:41I would say that you appreciate me more, don't you?
35:44Definitely.
35:44In regards to intimacy, there's definitely a few more, like, visits per week, you know?
35:50More effort.
35:51Yeah, more effort.
35:52It's been... It's good. It's nice.
35:55I don't know, I just fancy my mans all over again, you know, you know?
36:02I would say we're in a great place.
36:05In terms of intimacy, finances, just in general, I think we're really good.
36:10I am now a post man.
36:11Not necessarily what I want to be doing right now, but being able to contribute financially again makes me feel
36:18like the man.
36:18It's good to see you out doing something, it's changed your spirit, it's made you more like how you were
36:25before.
36:26Less grumpy.
36:27I'm proud of you, because you're doing what you need to do.
36:31That's what we do, man.
36:33Why are you smelling like that?
36:37You're doing what you need to do.
36:38And...
36:40We're having a baby.
36:57We are all one.
36:59We are all one.
37:00We are all one.
37:01We are all one.
37:02Love is the answer to every question
37:06We are one one
37:07We are one one
37:08We are one one
37:10We are one one
37:11Love is the answer to every question
37:18Amazing grace
37:20I see the sound
37:26That saved a wretch like me
37:30Saved a wretch like me
37:31We are one one
37:34We are one one
37:36Love is the answer to every question
37:40We are one one
37:43We are one one
37:45Love is the answer to every question
37:49Love is the answer to every question
37:53Love is the answer to every question
37:58Love is the answer to every question
37:59Love is the answer to every question
38:00Love is the answer to every question
38:01Love is the answer to every question
38:02Love is the answer to every question
38:03Love is the answer to every question
38:04Love is the answer to every question
38:08Love is the answer to every question
38:14Love is the answer to every question
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