- 12 hours ago
The Aristocratic Heiress from the Countryside - (2026) FULL EP
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:35Oh, my God.
00:00:41Hello?
00:00:42Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:45I mean, it's only two days away,
00:00:47and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:50So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:54Me, too.
00:00:55Um, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:58Um, I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:01:02Uh, I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:01:06You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:07What? But you can't.
00:01:10I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:14Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:15You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:19This is bad.
00:01:20You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:22She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:32Come on, Lexi.
00:01:48So, girls, what are we going to do for a birthday?
00:01:52Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:57But this is the big one-eight.
00:01:59I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital,
00:02:02we've done something new and special,
00:02:03but this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:07So, what's something we've never done before?
00:02:10Mushrooms?
00:02:11No, not like that.
00:02:13Like something nice.
00:02:15Like maybe a trip.
00:02:16Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:18No.
00:02:22Sorry, Sue.
00:02:23I have a date.
00:02:24Oh, so do I.
00:02:26Sorry, Sue.
00:02:28Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:29We'll figure it out.
00:02:42Oh, flowers, are these from you?
00:02:44Yeah, sure.
00:02:47Here you go.
00:02:49No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:52I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:55I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:03:01Oh, Jake.
00:03:06Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:03:09Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:03:11When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:03:14The best night of my life.
00:03:16It will be, I promise.
00:03:18It'll always be amazing.
00:03:20With you and me.
00:03:22Together.
00:03:31Jake, no.
00:03:32Um, I have to go.
00:03:33I have to work on my art project.
00:03:36You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective, but I guess I should have taken
00:03:40more math.
00:03:43Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:46The Saturday?
00:03:47Of course.
00:03:52Thanks.
00:03:54Okay, bye.
00:04:05Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.
00:04:08Oh, baby, you're so hot.
00:04:10I'm going to do you so good.
00:04:12Oh, yeah, baby.
00:04:13Yeah.
00:04:13What was your name again?
00:04:15Rod.
00:04:16Sex guy.
00:04:21Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:04:26Yeah, right, I bet.
00:04:34Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:38Oh, no.
00:04:39Does not compute.
00:04:41Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:47Oh, huh.
00:04:49Hi.
00:04:51When did you go home?
00:04:53So, is it true?
00:04:54Yes, it is.
00:04:56It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:05:01I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:05:08So, I just think it's the right time.
00:05:12Lexi, tell her, losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:05:17On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:05:20Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday or maybe even like our 29th, 8th, maybe.
00:05:29Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:36I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:46But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:49We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:52Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:57It's not Jake.
00:05:58It's the male ideal.
00:06:01Like, a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:06:05Right.
00:06:07Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:06:09Me and it kind of sucks.
00:06:10I'm not really an artist.
00:06:12Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:06:14The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:06:19And I'm just not ready yet.
00:06:21I'm waiting for a sign.
00:06:23And then I'll know it's right.
00:06:24Look, I can go either way.
00:06:27I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:06:32I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:35Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:39But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:45You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:52Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:55To church.
00:06:56To pray for you.
00:06:57I want to be first in line.
00:07:00I'm getting this.
00:07:02Yeah, me too.
00:07:13Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:07:15It's been four days since my last confession.
00:07:17I accused myself of the following sins.
00:07:20Mm-hmm.
00:07:22Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...
00:07:26It's about sex.
00:07:29Mm-hmm.
00:07:31I mean, not me.
00:07:32I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:07:35Oh.
00:07:37I've never even seen a guy's...
00:07:39Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:07:43But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:47But there was nothing there.
00:07:51Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:54My best friends.
00:07:56They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:58Okay.
00:08:00Third base.
00:08:02What?
00:08:03No.
00:08:04Like, sex.
00:08:05Like, intercourse.
00:08:07With boys, they barely even know.
00:08:09I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:08:11If you know what I mean.
00:08:12All the way.
00:08:13Go all the way.
00:08:16What?
00:08:17What?
00:08:21How could you do this?
00:08:24You're a bad, bad person.
00:08:26You're a bad person.
00:08:28What?
00:08:35Yes.
00:08:36Yes.
00:08:37Run.
00:08:39Run.
00:08:39Home route.
00:08:42Damn it.
00:08:45Fucking Yankees.
00:08:49Sorry.
00:08:51Sorry.
00:09:13Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:09:17Would you have a little consideration?
00:09:18I'm trying to sleep.
00:09:21Jeez.
00:09:21Can you guys please keep it down?
00:09:25I have an announcement to make.
00:09:27I want to do it.
00:09:29Do you hear me?
00:09:30I want to do it.
00:09:33This weekend.
00:09:34On our birthday.
00:09:36Do what?
00:09:38It.
00:09:39Screw.
00:09:40You know, screwing, boning, making beasts with two backs.
00:09:43You know, shagging, fucking.
00:09:48You do.
00:09:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:09:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:56Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:09:59Really?
00:10:00Well, okay, great.
00:10:03We're all in then.
00:10:05So we'll have a big pool party, and we'll do it there.
00:10:09Right?
00:10:11Right.
00:10:13I'll start making the shopping list.
00:10:24Hey, Frank.
00:10:26Hi, Sue.
00:10:28Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:10:31I don't know.
00:10:32Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:10:33Yeah, he's blind.
00:10:35Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:10:42Wait, wait.
00:10:44Hey.
00:10:45Um, I was wondering.
00:10:47We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:10:50It's for our birthday.
00:10:51Do you want to come?
00:10:52Do you think he can see at me short?
00:11:07Well, the house looks done.
00:11:10Tomorrow's the big day.
00:11:12We finally turn 18.
00:11:14And finally lose our virginity.
00:11:16Well, we better get our baby sleep, because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:11:20So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake, and I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:11:26But, Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:11:28It's a poppy chair.
00:11:29It's easy.
00:11:30I've known for the past six years, ever since catty-kism.
00:11:36What the fuck is catty-kism?
00:11:38I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:11:41Yeah.
00:11:50My soulmate.
00:11:54Chris?
00:11:55Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:12:00I mean...
00:12:01What?
00:12:02No.
00:12:02Chris is perfect.
00:12:03He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:12:07Plus, his name's Chris.
00:12:08It's a sign.
00:12:09Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:12:15What?
00:12:16He does not.
00:12:17Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:12:19He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:12:22With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:12:26Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:12:29Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:12:32Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:12:35See you in the morning.
00:12:43I knew it would happen someday.
00:12:46I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:12:51I don't know.
00:13:20You're so perfect.
00:13:49I don't know.
00:13:58I knew that's what I look like.
00:14:18Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:14:36Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:14:37Tomorrow's the day.
00:14:38Tomorrow's the day.
00:15:00Oh my gosh.
00:15:02They're coming.
00:15:04Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:15:06Sorry.
00:15:09Ew.
00:15:10Why?
00:15:11It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:15:13It's going to be really sexy.
00:15:15It's unnecessary.
00:15:16You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:15:19It's going to be really sexy.
00:15:20It's stupid.
00:15:21Just screw him.
00:15:23That's what he wants.
00:15:24Look what all guys want.
00:15:25Who hurt you as a child?
00:15:27Oh, Christ.
00:15:28I'm going to have your mouth, too.
00:15:31Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:15:36You're an idiot.
00:15:37A very smooth, plastic wrapped idiot.
00:15:42Guys, seriously.
00:15:43Come on, hurry up.
00:15:49Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:15:52I love it.
00:15:54Um.
00:15:55You should put that down, though, because it's like, it's very fragile.
00:15:59Yeah.
00:16:00Let's put it down.
00:16:01Hurry up.
00:16:05Those are your anal beads, right?
00:16:07Yeah.
00:16:07Okay.
00:16:28Oh, my God.
00:16:29This planet is going to help.
00:16:30Whoa.
00:16:32Whoa.
00:16:34Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:16:35Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts.
00:16:37Nice.
00:16:38Haha, come on.
00:16:41Come on.
00:16:43Come on.
00:16:44Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch.
00:16:48Happy birthday, Lex.
00:16:51No.
00:16:52Joanna, we said no.
00:16:55That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:16:57but be careful it stings.
00:16:59And the other one is edible missile joy.
00:17:02Oh, how did you know?
00:17:04I mean, I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:17:12Foster, such a cutie.
00:17:15Please don't touch my service time.
00:17:18All right, sorry. Are you okay now?
00:17:20Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
00:17:21Okay, see you later.
00:17:26I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:17:28This is crazy.
00:17:29Jake! Hi!
00:17:32Hey, Ben.
00:17:33Happy birthday.
00:17:36Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:17:39What? You want a beer?
00:17:45No.
00:17:49Oh, hon.
00:17:50Yeah.
00:17:54I have your present here.
00:17:56I'll give it to you later.
00:17:57The time's right.
00:17:59You didn't have to give me anything.
00:18:02And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:18:09Hey, Rob.
00:18:10We need you to settle this bed over here real quick.
00:18:13We'll bet.
00:18:18All right, this is my man right here.
00:18:20Hey.
00:18:21Hey.
00:18:21How you doing?
00:18:23Hey.
00:18:25Hey.
00:18:41Buy your games.
00:18:48Say volume.
00:18:48Sure, we can.
00:18:48Bye.
00:18:48I'll chip out.
00:18:49Hi.
00:18:50Good day.
00:18:50Okay, stand up.
00:18:52All of you want to86.
00:18:54Oh, dude, look at those.
00:18:55Are those real?
00:18:57Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:18:58Hey, dude, move!
00:19:00Come on, lame!
00:19:02Oh, all right, okay.
00:19:03I'll see you guys later.
00:19:04Go do some push-ups or something.
00:19:06Aw, the moves.
00:19:0720 bucks says, by the end of the day,
00:19:09I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:19:13They're fake anyways.
00:19:15Who cares?
00:19:16Okay.
00:19:21Oh, dude, dude.
00:19:22I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:19:28Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:19:30Here, let me.
00:19:31Joanna, no, just go enjoy the birdie.
00:19:34Come on.
00:19:36Open.
00:19:39Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:19:42I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:19:46Have you guys seen Jake?
00:19:47I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:19:49It just, like, disappeared.
00:20:03Are these real?
00:20:05Of course they are.
00:20:07How come I've never met you before?
00:20:10I don't know.
00:20:11Maybe he's going to be around.
00:20:12Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:20:14Um, I think he's around or something.
00:20:17Maybe upstairs.
00:20:18I don't know.
00:20:20Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:20:22That's probably where he went.
00:20:25Oh, well.
00:20:28Liquid courage?
00:20:30Yeah.
00:20:31Atta girl.
00:20:36Vodka cranberry?
00:20:37Surely simple.
00:20:40Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:20:42I can go meet Rod.
00:20:44Sue?
00:20:45Are you okay?
00:20:47Sue?
00:20:48Relax.
00:20:50They're just nice.
00:20:52Okay, nothing to be scared of.
00:20:53Seriously.
00:20:54You're going to be fine.
00:20:55Is Chris here?
00:20:56No.
00:20:59No.
00:21:00No.
00:21:00No.
00:21:01No.
00:21:01No.
00:21:02No.
00:21:02Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:21:05No.
00:21:06He does not have gatefeeds.
00:21:08I'm going to prove it to you.
00:21:10I'm going to do it.
00:21:16Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:21:19No.
00:21:20He does not have gatefeeds.
00:21:23I'm going to prove it to you.
00:21:24I'm going to do it.
00:21:26I'm going to do this.
00:21:27Good luck.
00:21:31Hey, you can do this.
00:21:33Just act like a slut.
00:21:37Just pretend you're lux.
00:21:48Yeah, my favorite chapter song, Gmore.
00:21:51Chris.
00:21:53Hi.
00:21:54Can I talk to you?
00:21:56Huh?
00:21:57Uh, in private?
00:22:00Oh.
00:22:14Hey, Lexi.
00:22:15Hey, Lexi.
00:22:16What?
00:22:18Chris.
00:22:19You're so sexy.
00:22:23Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just, I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:22:29And I really want to...
00:22:33Oh, what are you doing?
00:22:35Is that wrong?
00:22:36Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:22:38Nothing.
00:22:39I'm sorry.
00:22:40I'm sorry.
00:22:40I don't know how to do this.
00:22:42Sue.
00:22:44Sue.
00:22:45Sue.
00:22:48I understand these urges.
00:22:52And, you know, I like you too.
00:22:56Really?
00:22:57You do?
00:22:58I do.
00:22:59I do.
00:23:00I really do.
00:23:01I like you too.
00:23:03Really?
00:23:04You do?
00:23:05I do.
00:23:06I really do.
00:23:07It's just...
00:23:10I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:23:15Right.
00:23:16Lexi said you were...
00:23:18Jesus.
00:23:19Oh.
00:23:20That man.
00:23:21Of course.
00:23:22What did you think?
00:23:24Oh, nothing.
00:23:25So we can still do this then?
00:23:28Oh, Sue.
00:23:31You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about him
00:23:41up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed over
00:23:54each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty, under
00:24:06that hot, hot sun, and I just feel such compassion.
00:24:13I think about those things, too.
00:24:15So you understand why I can't do this?
00:24:20Not really.
00:24:21I just find it too hard.
00:24:23It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:24:35It's so...
00:24:44I'm going to go out there, right?
00:24:45Andy, we're going to totally throw these on.
00:24:47Hey, Ty.
00:24:48Whoa!
00:24:50Have you seen Jake?
00:24:52Uh, no.
00:24:53No.
00:24:54All right.
00:24:58Okay.
00:24:59All right, focus.
00:25:00Focus, focus.
00:25:07Oh, there he is.
00:25:11Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:25:28How could you?
00:25:33Sue, what happened?
00:25:35Did you guys do it?
00:25:37Sue?
00:25:38He doesn't want me.
00:25:40Because he's gay.
00:25:42No, he's not.
00:25:43He just really loves Jesus.
00:25:45Oh, come on, Sue.
00:25:47The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for
00:25:52you.
00:25:53Look, the only way you were going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know
00:25:58what kind of woman you really are deep inside.
00:26:03what?
00:26:04Come with me.
00:26:06We're to meet your dark side.
00:26:15Out.
00:26:17Everyone out.
00:26:27Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:26:44I really can't.
00:26:46I really don't think I can do this.
00:26:49I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:26:55I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:27:17I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:27:21Sue?
00:27:21What happened?
00:27:22What did you see?
00:27:23A raccoon?
00:27:25What?
00:27:27You overshot it.
00:27:28Aim the mirror further up.
00:27:37I can't.
00:27:38Please don't make me do that again.
00:27:40Okay.
00:27:40Fine.
00:27:41Fine.
00:27:43I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:27:46What?
00:27:47You really need an orgasm.
00:27:50Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else
00:27:54when you've never even had it with yourself.
00:27:56This really has to be your first step.
00:27:58Lex, I'm ready.
00:28:00Coming.
00:28:01Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:28:04Just find it and use it.
00:28:06Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:28:09It's black.
00:28:10It vibrates.
00:28:13Come on, Rod.
00:28:15Let's go to Sue's room.
00:28:18And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:28:33Hey, cutie!
00:28:34Cutie!
00:28:41Bullseye!
00:28:42Oh, yeah!
00:28:46Big.
00:28:47Big.
00:28:48Bang.
00:28:49Bang.
00:28:51Good boy.
00:28:52Straighten up.
00:28:54Good boy.
00:28:55Good boy.
00:28:56He knows over a hundred commands.
00:29:00I'm sorry I can't see anything.
00:29:03That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:29:05What a bitch.
00:29:07Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:29:09Oh, God, what a bitch.
00:29:16Ah!
00:29:18Oh!
00:29:24Ah!
00:29:25Ah!
00:29:40Oh, shit.
00:29:46What's wrong with this thing?
00:30:07Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:30:09Lexi, it's Jake.
00:30:12He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:30:15For sure?
00:30:17I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe, maybe it's my fault.
00:30:21That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:30:25No, it's awful. I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:30:36It's a text. It's from him. I can't bear myself to read it.
00:30:39Okay. He's looking for you. He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:30:45Oh, I can't face him. I have to go. I'm going.
00:30:48No, you can't just leave.
00:30:51Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:30:54I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:30:57He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:31:00Either way, it's bullshit. I see only one option.
00:31:05I'm leaving.
00:31:06Revenge sex.
00:31:08Re... I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:10It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:31:25But he... I mean, he doesn't even care. He doesn't even care about me. I mean, why would...
00:31:31He's just into other girls.
00:31:33Trust me, he'll care.
00:31:36Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him. To his ego. To screw someone else when you've
00:31:42never even had sex with him.
00:31:44Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:31:50No, I... I couldn't. Plus, I mean, there's... there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:31:57Eric! He's perfect!
00:31:59Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:32:01I mean, he wouldn't even be into me. He likes your type.
00:32:05Really? And what type is that?
00:32:07He's bloody.
00:32:10Yeah. Trust me, he's amazing. I fooled around with him once. He has this great tongue ring.
00:32:15Oh, no. I could never fool around with somebody you've fooled around with.
00:32:19Okay, then. Fine. We will find someone else. Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:32:30Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him? I mean, it's... you're not gonna marry the guy.
00:32:35No, I just couldn't do it.
00:32:37Fine. If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the
00:32:42right thing,
00:32:43to make your boyfriend feel like a total, worthless piece of garbage,
00:32:46and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it,
00:32:51go ahead. But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:57I don't know.
00:33:00But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:33:04I don't know.
00:33:06Trust me. It's going to work.
00:33:14I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:33:18Hi, Cheryl.
00:33:20Are you okay enough to chat with her?
00:33:22Oh, no!
00:33:35Hey. Happy birthday.
00:33:39Thanks.
00:34:04Have you guys seen Jake?
00:34:10Happy birthday.
00:34:10So...
00:34:13Happy birthday.
00:34:15Uh, do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:34:21But it's actually from us. U.S.
00:34:24America?
00:34:25America?
00:34:27United States?
00:34:28I know where we live.
00:34:30Right.
00:34:31Of course.
00:34:35I know where we live.
00:34:37Right.
00:34:38Of course.
00:34:44Hey, Jesus, Erica. Are you going to make your move or not?
00:34:47Oh, you want me to move?
00:34:48Yeah, no. I can totally move. I just...
00:34:50No. You're fine.
00:35:04Jake!
00:35:08So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:35:10Oh. I'm sorry. It? What, um...
00:35:15It. Like...
00:35:17Monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:35:21Get real nasty.
00:35:23Oh. Oh. You mean, like, uh...
00:35:27Right now?
00:35:28I mean, well, yeah. You know, the sooner the better.
00:35:34Yeah, sure. I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:35:37I just never realized that you...
00:35:41I mean...
00:35:42Whew. Uh...
00:35:45It's just...
00:35:48You're so...
00:35:51You're so beautiful.
00:35:52Okay. Um...
00:35:54Uh, no cuisine.
00:35:57Right. Um...
00:35:59Of course.
00:36:00Sorry.
00:36:03So, um...
00:36:06Do you wanna unwrap me?
00:36:08Oh, wow. Uh...
00:36:11You're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket.
00:36:12Or...
00:36:13Leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:36:15Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:17Uh...
00:36:18You're fresh.
00:36:22Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:24Uh...
00:36:25You're fresh.
00:36:26Organic.
00:36:28Yep.
00:36:31So, the wrap.
00:36:32Right.
00:36:35Um...
00:36:36Where's the, uh...
00:36:37It's, uh, the end is...
00:36:39The edge is, like, right over here.
00:36:40Oh, oh, yeah. Here it is.
00:36:41Yeah.
00:36:41That's where I see it.
00:36:42Um, let me just, uh...
00:36:46Uh...
00:36:46Ow, ow, ow.
00:36:47Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry. I, um...
00:36:49It's... It's okay. Here.
00:36:51Do it again.
00:36:54Sorry, I, uh...
00:36:55I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:36:57You know what? Let me just lay on the bed.
00:37:01Okay.
00:37:07Uh...
00:37:07Let me just...
00:37:10See...
00:37:10Oh, here it is. I got it.
00:37:12All right. Just, um, pull it.
00:37:14Let me just...
00:37:16Ah!
00:37:17Oh, geez. Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:37:22You okay?
00:37:23Help! Help!
00:37:26Uh...
00:37:27Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:37:30Oh, jeez.
00:37:34Oh, jeez.
00:37:35Well, that was stupid.
00:37:42Yeah.
00:37:48How you doing tonight?
00:37:50I'm good.
00:37:50You having a good time?
00:37:52Yeah? You good?
00:37:52Jake!
00:37:54I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:37:56What?
00:37:57I can't hear you.
00:38:00I didn't have a beer.
00:38:02Chips are so damn salty.
00:38:04Jake!
00:38:04Sorry, we're...
00:38:05Up...stairs.
00:38:07Yeah.
00:38:07Hold on.
00:38:09Take a piss.
00:38:10How much beer?
00:38:25Oh, wow.
00:38:28Yup.
00:38:28Ah, ah, ah.
00:38:34Now're close.
00:38:42Finally, I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:38:47Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, um, don't, don't worry about it.
00:38:51What?
00:38:52I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:38:57Oh.
00:38:59Well, okay.
00:39:00Okay.
00:39:16Okay.
00:39:17I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:39:21Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, um, don't, don't worry about it.
00:39:25What?
00:39:26I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:39:31Uh-oh.
00:39:33Well, okay.
00:39:34Okay.
00:39:35Hmm.
00:40:24What are you doing?
00:40:26Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:40:34Um, not yet.
00:40:36More foreplay.
00:40:36Huh?
00:40:37Oh.
00:40:45So good.
00:40:47Oh.
00:40:50Yep.
00:40:51Oh, my God.
00:40:53Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:40:55What?
00:40:56What?
00:40:56Oh!
00:40:58Ah!
00:40:59Ah!
00:41:00Lockjaw, lockjaw.
00:41:01Is that even a thing?
00:41:03I don't know.
00:41:06Ah.
00:41:07Are you okay?
00:41:11No, no, no, no, no, it's, uh, it's fine, I'm just, uh, embarrassed, I, it's probably TMJ
00:41:21or fracture, swollen.
00:41:24Are you sure you're okay?
00:41:25Okay.
00:41:26Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:41:28Okay, great.
00:41:29Have fun.
00:41:29Oh.
00:41:35Uh, now, now, let's do now.
00:41:38No, not yet, not yet.
00:41:42All right, I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come right back.
00:41:44Are you ready?
00:41:44No no no no no no no no no no no.
00:41:47No no not yet.
00:41:49Lexi!
00:41:50Lexi!
00:41:50Oh sh!
00:41:51Oh.
00:41:55No no no not yet.
00:41:57Lexi!
00:41:57Lexi!
00:41:58Oh sh!
00:41:59Oh.
00:42:01No means no.
00:42:02Huh?
00:42:03Oh I'm so sorry.
00:42:04I'm sorry I'm sorry.
00:42:06It's been a really long time and I just haven't masturbated for anything.
00:42:13Uh oh.
00:42:16Oh, hey, Jake.
00:42:20How are you doing?
00:42:22How's it going?
00:42:23Good.
00:42:24Eric?
00:42:26Eric, help me.
00:42:27I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:42:30Excuse me.
00:42:35Cheryl's in here.
00:42:41What's up, bro?
00:42:42What the fuck is this?
00:42:46Hey, wait.
00:42:48Lex.
00:42:49Hey, still waiting.
00:42:58Oh, I'm sorry.
00:42:59I can't see.
00:42:59I'm blind.
00:43:02Damn it.
00:43:04I'm gonna say something to that bitch.
00:43:06Hey, you.
00:43:09You better stop making fun of the blind
00:43:11or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:43:16I'm so sorry.
00:43:17I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:43:20Hey.
00:43:21Hey.
00:43:22Hey.
00:43:23Hey.
00:43:25Hey.
00:43:25Hey.
00:43:25Hey.
00:43:26Hey.
00:43:28Hey.
00:43:34Hey.
00:43:40Hey.
00:43:42Hey.
00:43:42Hey.
00:43:45Oh, man.
00:43:47No more water balloons.
00:43:48This party's ass.
00:43:52Yeah!
00:43:53Yeah!
00:43:57This just isn't working on it.
00:44:01Nothing.
00:44:02What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:44:07Lock your character, man, lock sticks.
00:44:10Spark it up!
00:44:12Yes!
00:44:16Oh, man! I love this game!
00:44:18What are the controllers? We gotta play. Here, here, here.
00:44:21Okay, let me find another one.
00:44:25Woo!
00:44:27Look at this!
00:44:29Oh, my God!
00:44:31You, you, you!
00:44:33Get that thing away, Jesus!
00:44:43Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:44:46Wasn't me.
00:44:52Whoa, whoa, nice!
00:44:55Are you sitting in there or something?
00:44:59Hey, you found the grenade launcher. Nice, nice!
00:45:14Do you have the extra controller?
00:45:28Whoa!
00:45:30You are the controller!
00:45:32No, I just...
00:45:34I didn't, I swear, I...
00:45:40No, what?
00:45:47What are you doing?
00:45:49Hey. Hey Sue.
00:45:50What are you doing, man?
00:45:54It's okay, um...
00:45:56Hey Sue!
00:46:08Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:46:10Yeah, I just needed to...
00:46:13Oh, sure.
00:46:15Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:46:21You were?
00:46:23You mean...
00:46:25Yeah.
00:46:29So you think we should give it a try?
00:46:33Can we go get a drink?
00:46:38Wow, your toilet's really clogged.
00:46:42You know what?
00:46:44I gotta go.
00:46:46Happy birthday.
00:46:47No, Chris, no, there wasn't...
00:46:48I didn't...
00:46:49Oh, God, never mind.
00:46:56It's the end of the world.
00:47:04This is the worst idea ever.
00:47:07Never going to have sex.
00:47:09Ow.
00:47:31Hello?
00:47:32A little attention here.
00:47:34Oh, yeah.
00:47:35Sorry.
00:47:37Sorry.
00:47:41Lex, don't be selfish.
00:47:44All right.
00:47:46Sorry.
00:47:59Oh, jeez.
00:48:02Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:48:05Too much fucking multitasking.
00:48:08Screw it.
00:48:20Oh, jeez.
00:48:21Oh, jeez.
00:48:23Oh, jeez.
00:48:24Oh, jeez.
00:48:26Oh, jeez.
00:48:26Oh, jeez.
00:48:27Oh, jeez.
00:48:27Oh, jeez.
00:48:28Oh, jeez.
00:48:30Oh, jeez.
00:48:31Oh, jeez.
00:48:32Oh, jeez.
00:48:33Oh, jeez.
00:48:52Oh no, that was bad, that was so bad.
00:49:12Joanna, do you know a guy named J.J.?
00:49:17I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:49:24Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:49:27Yes, it does.
00:49:29So you're J.J.?
00:49:30Uh-oh.
00:49:56Hello, welcome to 1-900-CONFET.
00:49:59Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:50:02A nun.
00:50:03Please punch in your credit card number.
00:50:11Please hold.
00:50:12Oh my goodness.
00:50:171-900-CONFESSION, how may I be of service?
00:50:20It's been one day since my last confession.
00:50:22I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:50:25One day.
00:50:33Is that too long?
00:50:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:50:38Go on.
00:50:40Um, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:50:44Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:50:47What's your problem?
00:50:48A washing machine touched her.
00:50:52Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:50:56Alright freak, time's up.
00:50:58What?
00:50:59But what do I do?
00:51:00Just unplug the thing.
00:51:02No, but...
00:51:03But I think I might have had an...
00:51:04Orgasm.
00:51:06Well, then be happy.
00:51:08You found the perfect man.
00:51:10I'm serious.
00:51:11Look, honey.
00:51:12You seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:51:15I'll tell you this.
00:51:17Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:51:20No contritions?
00:51:22You broke no covenant with God.
00:51:24It's not in the Bible.
00:51:26So, the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:51:30Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:51:33Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:51:36Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:51:39Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:51:43Huh.
00:51:44God's pretty cool that way.
00:51:45Yeah.
00:51:46He sure is.
00:51:47Now run along.
00:51:51Wow.
00:51:53How do you know all that?
00:51:55Because I'm a nun.
00:51:57Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:52:00Huh.
00:52:01Accidental masturbation.
00:52:02Who'd it think?
00:52:03How do you know all that?
00:52:10What do you know all that?
00:52:15What the fuck?
00:52:17How do you know all that?
00:52:20Well, you know, I'm pretty sorry.
00:52:22I'm pretty sure.
00:52:27How do I know all that?
00:52:28Are you still in here?
00:52:31Why are you results in here?
00:52:35Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do
00:52:38You go, girl
00:52:40What?
00:52:43What are you doing here?
00:52:45We needed someplace private
00:52:47But hey, listen, if you're serious about getting laid
00:52:51Yeah?
00:52:52If you want someone great
00:52:53I mean, really, the best ever
00:52:58No offense
00:53:00Frank, the blind guy?
00:53:02Really?
00:53:03I'm telling you, he's amazing
00:53:07I had food sex with him a few weeks ago
00:53:09It was like nothing I've ever experienced before
00:53:12It was like we used all our senses
00:53:16Everything
00:53:19If you're interested, I'll set it up
00:53:23All right
00:53:31What about him?
00:53:32Jeremy
00:53:33Yeah, I know Jeremy
00:53:35I think I fooled around with him once
00:53:38I didn't know his last name though
00:53:41It's Jones
00:53:43Jeremy Jones
00:53:45This all makes sense
00:53:46Excuse me
00:53:49Jeremy
00:53:49Jeremy
00:53:50Hi
00:53:51Hey
00:53:52Who's on the phone?
00:53:54Oh, that's my new girlfriend
00:53:56You'll meet her
00:53:56Could be here in like an hour
00:53:58Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:54:16Oh, hey Frank
00:54:18Sit
00:54:22Oh, you meant, you meant the dog
00:54:28Relax
00:54:30You need to relax and calm down
00:54:42Oh, I'm relaxed, I'm fine
00:54:45Why are you biting your nail?
00:54:47I'm not
00:54:51How did you know that?
00:54:56Corner
00:55:00Sit
00:55:02Roll over
00:55:07Oh, you mean me
00:55:10Roll over
00:55:14Oh, you mean me
00:55:17Oh, how do you
00:55:18How do you want me to
00:55:20Just like that
00:55:26Oh
00:55:33Oh
00:55:34I shouldn't even be doing this
00:55:36But
00:55:37Considering it a teachable moment
00:55:40Okay
00:55:43Oh
00:55:47See me with your hands
00:55:53All right
00:55:54Uh
00:56:01You know, I should really
00:56:03I have a boyfriend
00:56:03And I shouldn't be doing this
00:56:05Really
00:56:19Mmm
00:56:20Peanut butter
00:56:36Frank
00:56:37Frank
00:56:38Oh
00:56:42Oh
00:56:43Frank
00:57:10You know, man
00:57:11Dude
00:57:12Dude, give me a chip
00:57:13My chips, homeboy
00:57:14Dude, give me a chip, man
00:57:16My chips
00:57:17Dude
00:57:17My chips
00:57:18Dude, give me a chip
00:57:21My chips
00:57:23Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:57:26Sorry
00:57:35It's just a case of accidental masturbation
00:57:38That's all
00:57:38Come on, let me do this
00:57:44Go away
00:57:45I got it
00:57:46I got it
00:57:46No, really, please
00:57:47I want to help
00:57:49Okay, everybody out
00:57:54Leave
00:57:55Leave, I have to vacuum
00:58:10You're not even getting the chips
00:58:12They're over here
00:58:14I see some dust
00:58:16Over here
00:58:17So
00:58:20It's just
00:58:21So much
00:58:21And dust
00:58:22On this floor
00:58:24This is a dirty floor
00:58:26Such a dirty
00:58:28Dirty
00:58:30Dirty
00:58:31Floor
00:58:31And it's
00:58:36Okay
00:59:06I think I got it
00:59:09Frankie
00:59:11Oh my
00:59:12Oh
00:59:12What's that?
00:59:14What?
00:59:15Fuck your shit
00:59:17Man, we gotta smoke
00:59:18Oh, we can smoke in here
00:59:21Stop
00:59:22Frank
00:59:23Stop teasing Frank
00:59:25Oh
00:59:26I'm sorry, man
00:59:28We're just looking for a place to finish this road
00:59:30Oh, I heard something
00:59:31You want to join us
00:59:33You want to join us?
00:59:33Uh
00:59:33No, I'm not
00:59:34Come on
00:59:35You gotta do it
00:59:36Come on
00:59:36Seriously, guys
00:59:38Where's your dog, man?
00:59:39Dude
00:59:39What's it like being blind?
00:59:41It's creepy
00:59:45Frank?
00:59:48Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:59:52Bro, you are
00:59:55Too funny
00:59:57Thanks, man
00:59:58Oh, this is some good stuff
01:00:00I haven't smoked since junior high
01:00:01Dude
01:00:02I haven't stopped smoking since junior high
01:00:04Wait, wait, wait
01:00:06I feel like I was supposed to be doing something
01:00:11Damn, I really can't remember
01:00:12This is some good shit
01:00:33Oh, no
01:00:34You're the devil
01:00:36No more
01:00:40JJ
01:00:42Jeremy
01:00:43Jeremy
01:00:44You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
01:00:48Please
01:00:48Lex
01:00:50I can't
01:00:51I mean, I got a girlfriend
01:00:54I really like this girl
01:00:55Fine
01:00:57It's just so sad
01:00:58Because I'm wearing this
01:01:01Copless bra
01:01:02And I also have on crotchless panties
01:01:06With just a little string of pearl in front
01:01:09For extra stimulation
01:01:17We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here
01:01:20Perfect
01:01:24Before she gets here
01:01:26Perfect
01:01:38I can't do it
01:01:39Let's do it
01:01:40Fuck me
01:01:41Fuck me now
01:01:47What?
01:01:48What's wrong?
01:01:49I can't
01:01:50I can't get it in
01:01:52Try down there
01:01:54It's like desert down there
01:01:55It's sandpaper
01:01:57I just
01:01:58Okay
01:01:58I get the picture
01:01:59Just try it again
01:02:04No
01:02:05Why is this happening?
01:02:07We fooled around before
01:02:08I was dripping wet
01:02:10I came like four times, remember?
01:02:12Just do what you did then
01:02:13Go on
01:02:14I already did my thing
01:02:15I already tried
01:02:17What?
01:02:19What is different this time?
01:02:21I don't know
01:02:23Last time
01:02:24I honestly don't even know what you're talking about
01:02:30What?
01:02:32You're not JJ?
01:02:34But your name is Jeremy Jones
01:02:37How can you not be JJ?
01:02:39Who the hell is this JJ?
01:02:43Where are you going?
01:02:44We're not done here
01:02:45I can still do this
01:02:46I just need a little bit of work
01:02:47I can do this
01:02:49I don't need JJ
01:02:51I don't need anyone else
01:02:52We can do this
01:02:55Go team
01:03:00What?
01:03:01Just keep going
01:03:05Jeremy?
01:03:07Shit
01:03:19Where's Jeremy?
01:03:20What?
01:03:22We were just
01:03:23You know
01:03:25Hey babe
01:03:26Just working out
01:03:32How could you
01:03:33You bastard
01:03:37You might want to
01:03:38What?
01:03:41What?
01:03:47Mariela!
01:03:48Mariela!
01:03:49You know those aren't mine
01:03:51At least not all of them
01:03:55What is wrong with you?
01:04:00What is wrong with you?
01:04:03Used to be so pure
01:04:06Well no more
01:04:07That's it
01:04:08Really
01:04:09That's the last one
01:04:21Come on
01:04:23What?
01:04:39Oh
01:04:43Cheryl. What is it? What are you doing down here?
01:04:51Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
01:04:56What?
01:04:57Why? Nothing. Just this blind guy and his dog.
01:05:03Honey, it's gonna be okay.
01:05:06No, it's not okay.
01:05:09Oh, God. And you know whose fault it is?
01:05:12I'm sorry.
01:05:13It's Jake's. Jake's fault. That blind, cheating bastard.
01:05:18Yes. He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him.
01:05:23Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him. I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
01:05:29Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
01:05:31You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
01:05:34Yeah, a big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it.
01:05:39Yeah.
01:05:41You know, you might wanna...
01:05:44You need to look hot while you break up with him.
01:05:46Yeah, you're right.
01:05:48Why am I wearing a sheet?
01:05:49I know.
01:05:56I'm sorry. I'm so...
01:05:59I get shy around beautiful women like you.
01:06:05I got no game.
01:06:14It's not important.
01:06:28Hey, um...
01:06:29Eric, I can't talk right now.
01:06:30No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
01:06:33Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
01:06:35No, no, no. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna make
01:06:42it up to you.
01:06:43Eric, really?
01:06:44I don't care. It's fine.
01:06:46No, but I do.
01:06:47I mean, I do. I care.
01:06:49Sure.
01:06:51I haven't known how to tell you.
01:06:53Maybe because, uh...
01:06:55I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:06:57But...
01:06:57I was wondering, or hoping,
01:07:00that...
01:07:01we could go out sometime.
01:07:04Soon.
01:07:05Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out.
01:07:08Really?
01:07:09Eric, you're shy.
01:07:11You have no game.
01:07:13Well, no, not really.
01:07:17Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.
01:07:23Okay.
01:07:24Alright.
01:07:26I, uh...
01:07:28Happy birthday, then.
01:07:41Oh, I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss you.
01:07:53Wow.
01:08:06Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:08:13Oh.
01:08:14Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:08:17Sorry.
01:08:17Oh, god, baby. Not again.
01:08:19Oh, no, um...
01:08:19You're a honey happy...
01:08:23What the fuck is this?
01:08:24Who the hell are you, dude?
01:08:26Okay, guys, don't.
01:08:31Cheryl.
01:08:33Cheryl.
01:08:33Baby.
01:08:34What is this?
01:08:36Aw, gee, Cheryl.
01:08:39You're...
01:08:40I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:08:42Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:08:45You couldn't find me?
01:08:47What about all those girls' vaginas you were in or your penis getting sucked?
01:08:52Cheryl, honey.
01:08:54No, no.
01:08:55We can work this out.
01:08:56Baby, I love you.
01:08:58Jake, no. You have to go.
01:08:59Baby, I'll be faithful from now on.
01:09:01No.
01:09:01Please.
01:09:01I promise.
01:09:02No, Jake. I can't do this. I'm sorry.
01:09:05Cheryl, come on.
01:09:07No.
01:09:07Jake, please. Just go. Just go.
01:09:09I'm sorry.
01:09:10You're a harmless bitch!
01:09:12How can you do it?
01:09:14Yay! You did it.
01:09:16I'm so proud of you.
01:09:17You got your revenge sex.
01:09:19You left him a mere shell of a man.
01:09:21Revenge sex?
01:09:23It's...
01:09:24It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:09:27Right.
01:09:30It all makes sense now.
01:09:33Wow.
01:09:33I feel really stupid.
01:09:36Eric, I'm really...
01:09:37I'm really sorry.
01:09:40Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:09:42And you used me.
01:09:45Eric, please don't go. Please, Eric!
01:09:49Aren't you happy?
01:09:52Well, no.
01:09:53That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:09:56You mean the sex?
01:09:57Was it...
01:09:59No, we didn't quite do it.
01:10:01Oh.
01:10:02You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:10:04Really?
01:10:04I just never found the right guy.
01:10:06Or guys.
01:10:09Anyway.
01:10:10We better get downstairs. People are starting to leave.
01:10:12I wonder how Sue did.
01:10:25I can't believe she dumped me, man. This is bullshit!
01:10:30God!
01:10:31Oh!
01:10:33Suck it!
01:10:36Get out of here!
01:10:38Yeah!
01:10:39He has good hair, though.
01:10:45Don't keep you from me.
01:10:47Don't keep in my car, either.
01:10:50Right, said Frank's dot.
01:10:52I might need a vacation.
01:10:55Vacation, vacation.
01:10:58Take this information through your head.
01:11:03Oh Sue, are you alright?
01:11:06Was it from sex?
01:11:08Did you pop your cork?
01:11:09I don't think so. Not with the guy, anyway.
01:11:13Oh, don't ask. Every possible object.
01:11:17It's like every mechanical thing. It was like... transformers.
01:11:21They just all became vibrators.
01:11:24I told you.
01:11:25It's indicting.
01:11:28So what about Chris?
01:11:30The last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.
01:11:33I told you he was gay.
01:11:34Well, I think I'm just...
01:11:37Oh, cramp.
01:11:40Oh. Oh, I think it's broken.
01:11:42So wait.
01:11:45None of us cashed an RV card.
01:11:51Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:11:55So let's go grab some food.
01:11:57Can I go?
01:11:58No. Thank you.
01:11:59I think I should finish up here.
01:12:02Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:12:04No.
01:12:07I don't know. For some reason, I just realized...
01:12:09He needs to be my first.
01:12:12Or something.
01:12:13Why? Do you know him?
01:12:16Sort of.
01:12:16Oh.
01:12:18Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:12:19just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:12:29Love him.
01:12:30Shut it.
01:12:30You want to do it?
01:12:31I don't want to hear it from you.
01:12:32You want to get married?
01:12:33You want to do it?
01:12:34All right. All right.
01:12:35All right.
01:12:35Yeah.
01:12:36All right.
01:12:40You're taking me out.
01:12:48You're taking me out.
01:12:57You're taking me out.
01:13:03Um, no. No way.
01:13:23Oh well. There's always next year.
01:13:49It's you. I've been waiting for you, JJ.
01:13:57Joanna.
01:14:04What do you think?
01:14:06Yeah.
01:14:09Go on.
01:14:10Go on.
01:14:13Go.
01:14:14Go on.
01:14:15Go on.
01:14:15Go on.
01:14:17Go on.
01:14:18Go on.
01:14:19Go on.
01:14:19Go on.
01:14:21Go on.
01:15:25Who's?
01:15:26Eric's.
01:15:27It's him, right?
01:15:31Oh.
01:15:33Yeah.
01:15:35I have to go see him.
01:15:42Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:15:54One-nine-hundred confess.
01:15:59Sister Terese?
01:16:01Yeah, hon.
01:16:02There was a problem with your credit card.
01:16:05I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:16:07Oh, sure.
01:16:10It's 271.
01:16:12Sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:16:18Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:16:22Take you back?
01:16:24Sure, hon.
01:16:25Why not?
01:16:27As long as you're on the right path.
01:16:30Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:16:32Sister, I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:16:37Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:16:42Sister, can I get up now?
01:16:45I really gotta pee.
01:16:46No!
01:16:47Hush your trap!
01:16:51Okay, honey.
01:16:52I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:16:55I will.
01:16:57Thanks.
01:17:01Sister?
01:17:02Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:17:22Eric, wait!
01:17:27Cheryl?
01:17:31Eric, um...
01:17:32Look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:17:36I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:17:38At the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:17:42I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:17:45The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:17:49Um...
01:17:50I...
01:17:51I do want to go out with you.
01:17:54And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:17:58I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:18:01and he's all over these...
01:18:02Eric!
01:18:04Come on, I gotta get going.
01:18:07Oh.
01:18:08Wow.
01:18:09Um, Cheryl.
01:18:10Uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:18:12Tina, Cheryl.
01:18:14Hi.
01:18:15Nice to meet you.
01:18:20Uh...
01:18:21So, um...
01:18:23Do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:18:25When I get back?
01:18:27Yeah.
01:18:27Sure.
01:18:34Oh.
01:18:36Sorry.
01:18:36No kissing.
01:18:37Right.
01:18:38No.
01:18:38Kissing.
01:18:38Oh.
01:18:39Mm.
01:18:41Mm.
01:18:42Mm.
01:18:45Mm.
01:18:46Mm.
01:18:47Mm.
01:18:48Mm.
01:18:48Mm.
01:18:57Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:19:02I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:19:06Wait, what? I never did that.
01:19:09I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:19:11She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:19:18She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:19:21I wonder who it was.
01:19:44At least this birthday's over.
01:19:58Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:20:02I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like, send me a sign.
01:20:09I don't know.
01:20:32I don't know.
01:20:40Excuse me. Excuse me.
01:20:42Do you know where the church is?
01:20:44It's on Bouncing Street.
01:20:46Um, yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:20:49Or used to go to.
01:20:51Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:20:57You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:21:00Oh, um, I don't know.
01:21:10Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:21:13Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:21:19Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:21:23I don't think so.
01:21:25But thanks.
01:21:26What's your name?
01:21:27Sue.
01:21:28What's yours?
01:21:30Jesus.
01:21:32Really?
01:21:33Si.
01:21:36Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:48Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:51Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:52Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:54Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:55Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:56Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:56Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:57Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:58Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:58Maybe I could use the ride.
01:22:00Maybe I could use the ride.
01:22:01Maybe I could use the ride.
01:22:02Maybe I could use the ride.
01:22:04Maybe I could use the ride.
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