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00:07Go, go, go, get a mess of the car.
00:10That bitch has us by the shorties.
00:12Look, I hope this doesn't stop her from Dr. Chanel for me.
00:15Are you kidding me?
00:16You thought that was genuine?
00:17Yeah.
00:17She played you like a fucking fiddle.
00:19That was so real.
00:20She cried actual tears.
00:21Yeah, she's a fucking pro.
00:23She buttered you up, told you what you wanted to hear,
00:25sat back, and let you diary out the mouth.
00:28I hardly told her anything.
00:29You told her enough, and now she holds all the cards.
00:32No, no, hold on a second.
00:33Does she?
00:34Are you kidding me?
00:35If that dumb bitch opens her fucking mouth,
00:37she's going to ruin everything I built.
00:38My trust in the guys, my board seat.
00:40Oh, right, your precious board seat.
00:41I almost forgot.
00:42My guys trip to Atlanta, we're fucked.
00:44No, okay, hold on a second.
00:46Why would she tell?
00:47Sure, she blows your shit up,
00:49but she doesn't get what she wants.
00:51She doesn't get Zach back.
00:52She loses all her leverage.
00:54Think about it.
00:59It's Landon.
01:00Okay, okay, what's he saying?
01:03Well, there goes your theory.
01:05He knows.
01:06Oh, fuck.
01:07Yeah.
01:07I really thought I was onto something there.
01:09He fucked us.
01:11Oh, fuck.
01:12Oh, fuck.
01:23Oh, fuck.
01:44So, uh, what's up, fellas?
01:50Well, it's Kirsten.
01:52Oh?
01:53I was going through her Google history last night, and, uh, I stumbled upon something
01:57concerning.
02:00A search for scrotal reconstruction.
02:04Huh.
02:06Wow.
02:07I wonder why she would.
02:08Gentlemen, I'm afraid we have a leak.
02:12I'm done.
02:14It's over.
02:16Zach's going to own my fucking ass now.
02:20Unless it was him who told her?
02:23God, no.
02:24She's the last person he'd tell.
02:26No offense.
02:28All right, well, let's break it down.
02:29I mean, who knows about the surgery?
02:31No, I mean, the four of us.
02:32Huh?
02:32Yeah, well, we know none of us leaked it, right?
02:35And we sure as shit weren't stupid enough to tell our wives, were we?
02:39Oh, can you imagine?
02:40I don't tell Val shit.
02:41Well, then who the fuck was it?
02:46Wait.
02:50It just hit me.
02:53And it pains me to say this out loud.
02:59Fucking Mayumi.
03:01She must have heard me telling you about it.
03:03That's got to be it.
03:04It's like every other hole is so fucking tight, but the mouth on this broad.
03:08Oh, wow.
03:09Wait, wait.
03:09So you think she just maybe told Chanel and then Kirsten overheard it, maybe?
03:14I don't know.
03:15I mean, what's another plausible explanation?
03:17Think about it.
03:24They are so close to putting all the pieces together.
03:27It's just a matter of time.
03:28This sounds like it's getting out of control.
03:30I don't think you should go to Atlanta with these guys.
03:32Are you kidding me?
03:33I'm the new fourth.
03:34Do you have any idea how hard that was to achieve?
03:37I've never been part of a group before, Doc.
03:39And they like me for me, not because I take my shirt off.
03:42I know, but it just seems to me like...
03:44Hey, hey, hey.
03:44This was your idea.
03:46I'm following your plan.
03:48Do you have any idea how suspect it would look if I didn't take the trip to Atlanta?
03:51It'll look like when Leo wouldn't give a social security number in The Departed.
03:54Yeah, he was the new guy.
03:56I never understood why they didn't instantly realize it was him.
03:59Yeah, that was a giant fucking hole in the movie.
04:02And I can't rely on these guys being as stupid as the writer and filmmakers of The Departed.
04:06Yeah, well, you can't force Zach and Georgia to break up.
04:09I know that.
04:10Of course I can't.
04:11They wouldn't listen to you anyway.
04:14I see where your head's going.
04:17Where?
04:18You're saying make them do it themselves.
04:23I don't see how you got that from me.
04:25Make them believe it was their idea.
04:26They break up with each other.
04:27I come off scot-free.
04:28God damn it, you're a genius.
04:35We act like everything's normal.
04:38I go to Atlanta.
04:39I isolate Zach and plant a seed of an idea in his brain that maybe not everything's as perfect as
04:45it seems.
04:46I get them to question something, something small, and you do the same with Georgia.
04:51So when Zach returns with his shiny new ball sack and they finally talk about this stuff, it causes a
04:57fight.
04:58They go their separate ways, and we win.
05:01Yeah, but she loses?
05:03Does she?
05:03Hold on.
05:04The kid fell for her dad.
05:05He likes her for all the wrong reasons.
05:07And when his sack's healed and he's ready to fire off some shots, he's going to be like a kid
05:11on Christmas with a brand new BB gun.
05:12Okay, Bert, I hate to point it out, but this whole thing was your idea.
05:16And ideas evolve, Leanne.
05:18Okay, but this is venturing into completely unhinged.
05:23Okay, I totally hear you.
05:24Yeah.
05:25You're gone soft.
05:25We'll give your part to Isla.
05:27Give one to me.
05:27Wait, were you just listening at the door?
05:29Always.
05:30In case I'm needed.
05:30Well, you are needed.
05:31What's your schedule look like?
05:32It's actually wide open.
05:33Now that they're shutting down the LD department, my lunch got a lot lighter.
05:37What?
05:37Why?
05:38This is the main reason we chose this school.
05:39I think they're redoing the gym or something.
05:43Probably a better investment in the long run.
05:45The necessary funds will be reallocated from a few lower priority departments.
05:49Departments.
05:50Departments.
05:50Should we vote?
05:51Vote.
05:51Those in favor?
05:52Favor?
05:53Favor?
05:53Burt.
05:54Your vote.
05:54Put that thing over the top.
05:56Top.
05:56Top.
05:56Burt.
05:57Huh.
05:57Did you know about this?
05:59No.
05:59How could I?
05:59Guys.
06:00Guys, what do you need me to do?
06:01Okay, Isla, listen very carefully.
06:03This is super nuanced, okay?
06:05I fuck with nuance.
06:06Stop.
06:07I'll do it.
06:08Okay.
06:09Are you sure this is right?
06:10I am more certain about this than I was about having her.
06:13You're good, Isla.
06:23Atlanta, baby.
06:24Atlanta!
06:48big weekend you excited what dude I said I said big weekend you
06:55excited for my nut surgery I mean yes I'm more nervous than anything oh sure I
07:04bet but your scrotum's in good hands dr. V's the best in the business
07:09ever seen Chanel sits well like just in closing stuff their work of art let me
07:17tell you something after this surgery you're not just walking out with a new
07:22sack you're walking out a new man thanks man I hope so if you were in a
07:28relationship I'd call up that school more than every chick in there you know
07:32much pussy you'd get if you had balls like you know you don't gotta worry about
07:37anything of course I mean I respect you no no I know I know that's not what I'm
07:40talking about what I'm saying is Bert pop up here will ya yeah yeah hold that
07:52thought what's up guys well we got some new info that's what's it oh yeah it
07:57wasn't my omi she knows nothing trust me I put her through the fucking ringer
08:01what'd you go green card yeah what's green card no it's just this whole thing I
08:07got my buddy Steve saved in my phone his ISO whenever I need to put the screws to
08:11or I just have him call the house and she freaks out I bet fucking brilliant
08:15so we still don't know who told Kirsten well we have a better understanding of
08:20the timeline now we know she googled scrotal reconstruction Wednesday night
08:24right but then Wednesday morning she's texting her friend Lexi what the fuck is
08:29up with Zach lately is he gay lol right so Wednesday morning she's in the dark
08:37Wednesday evening she's got the answer so what do we think happened Wednesday
08:43oh that's exactly where our heads went so now all we got to do is trace her steps
08:47now I have her location services on my phone but we don't have any fucking Wi-Fi
08:52up here okay hey hey hey Lando not the end of the world I know but this fuck look as
08:56soon as we touch down we'll be able to trace every step she took that day so not to be
09:01concerned
09:11so how's it going with Zach is it kind of petering out no he's the best honestly I couldn't even
09:21imagine a better boyfriend or relationship yeah she was literally a zero before he started dating him
09:26and now she's like bordering on cool in the discussion for Ms. Barclay with a
09:31chance to dethrone Kirsten it's been stunning to witness honestly thanks I love
09:36thank you I just don't want to see you get hurt sweetie you know Zach is very
09:40popular boy and he's giving off I mean be like player vibes that I'm picking up on
09:47no no no he's not like that okay he actually respects me and wants to take
09:51things super slow right of course he does slow that's being generous you guys
09:54haven't even kissed yet you haven't no why is that weird
10:04no no it's not weird sweetie okay
10:14this is ridiculous drop 100 fucking K on a jet and I can't even check Instagram this is such
10:19fucking bullshit I'm gonna go ask you about that Wi-Fi I want to get to the bottom of this
10:22yeah Glenn please do something but Glenn but really complain okay I want someone to lose their
10:28job over yeah and uh see if you can get something for free I'm on it I'm on it hey
10:33can I ask you
10:35guys a question that might be a little bit in the sensitive area yeah what's up anything man floor is
10:41yours what's up it's Glenn I mean how well do we know this guy Glenn I mean we've been pretty
10:56close for
10:56what 25 30 years not more than that I mean think about menopause school we went to elementary school
11:01oh yeah so when his folks died my parents adopted him so I mean we're not technically brothers but
11:07yeah you know we shared a room well after the crash he was in it he did a little stint
11:12in an orphanage
11:12yeah for a couple months then he moved in with me bunk beds why do you ask
11:19I wish my spidey senses weren't going berserk here but just every time someone brings up the Kirsten
11:26thing he gets a little defensive look you know him better than I do but I think he's hiding something
11:48okay so I'll be making the first of several incisions here and then what I'll do is I'll open the
11:56flaps
11:57remove the testicles temporarily and then just burn off any remaining scrotal skin
12:03and we should all be here this is customary well I mean technically no but yeah so then I'll use
12:12a
12:12local tissue graft from the inner thigh to perform the scrotoplasty and construct the replacement pouch
12:19uh Landon of course that's where you come in all over it yeah there you go thanks pal all right
12:26look
12:26obviously we want to make this thing durable okay but at the same time this thing's got to be a
12:31fucking showstopper of a sack okay a hundred percent I mean it's got a look real feel real taste real
12:38right bud I mean yes and then since your case is pretty rare we'll need to tunnel the nuts into
12:48the
12:48new pouch and suture it into place to prevent them from retracting upward help form the pocket if you
12:55will same concept as a baseball glove but yeah yeah oh I have a question how long until we get
13:01that
13:02contraption you know up and running on this guy oh should be a fairly speedy recovery yeah I'd say
13:07two to three weeks before you can drop a proper load oh got it pretty good look if we do
13:13our jobs
13:13right here all right Zach walks out of here with something between his legs that he can feel super
13:17proud of uh Mr. Hotchkiss I just need you to fill out some paperwork uh you too Landon sure absolutely
13:23gentlemen we'll be right back but powerful presentation doc thank you for noticing really enjoyed that
13:36wow lots of stuff going on it's such weird timing huh what do you mean I'm just saying you know
13:44big surgery
13:46you're starting a new relationship it's a lot on a kid's plate you gotta get one of them off there
13:49and you can't get the surgery off they're not gonna mess anything up right I mean what if they make
13:54a
13:54mistake and my balls are permanently fucked no no no no no no that's not gonna happen let's get back
14:01to the relationship though I don't know I mean because what if something goes wrong I mean something
14:04could go wrong right take a breath hold on stop stop stop stop stop dad dad get in here don't
14:10shut the
14:11fuck up dad get in here Randy I'm fucking freaking out it's okay it's okay it's okay let's go look
14:17at
14:17me you got this you fucking you're a hotchkiss hotchkiss you're a hotchkiss okay okay
14:23you want this sack you need this sack
14:33bye girls bye love you baby be good have fun girls play nice behave hey oh
14:43I texted you you're not avoiding me are you what no of course not okay of course not good because
14:50I have some news I think you're really going to be happy about I spoke to my attorneys and I
14:55told
14:55them all about your genius mislabeling theory oh yeah they think we have a very strong case for a
15:00very lucrative lawsuit a lawsuit well yeah the cooking oil people are 100% responsible right
15:07so they should pay don't you think yes of course and you're including me in the lawsuit like
15:14well it was your theory what kind of monster do you think I am I wouldn't dream of cutting you
15:21out
15:21that is so sweet of you I mean unless you're coming off that theory
15:33god no if anything I'm more convinced now great so they'll just need to take your deposition under
15:41oath of course testifying that you made the cookies yourself from scratch the list of ingredients
15:45you use receipts you have something like that yeah I mean I definitely have all that stuff why
15:54wouldn't you okay I'll have my lawyer reach out and get that all set up thanks sweetie oh thank you
16:03thank you thank you thank you honey how's he doing he's battling bro it's tough to watch we shared a
16:22good hard
16:23cry and then he uh he fell asleep in my arms well maybe this will be like a bonding experience
16:35something that you shared in life that you'll never forget
16:43Zach's a strong kid rando he's gonna be okay
16:47what's that he's a strong kid he's gonna be okay
16:50you think he's gonna be fucking okay yeah is that what is that what you're saying
16:54no no no no no you said it glenn so just tell me what the fuck you're just saying
16:57what did I just no no no no you just said he's gonna be fucking okay
17:02he doesn't have a fucking sack
17:05sorry rando no no don't fucking say you're sorry I'll fucking come over this fucking table
17:09and I will take you down right fucking here right fucking here man
17:14no just shut the fuck up
17:18I didn't see my phone anywhere I haven't seen it since we were on the plane
17:22I don't know what to do with it
17:26yeah fuck I hate when that happens
17:27you know it's fine I'll just have my assistant order me a new one get it delivered sink it to
17:32the cloud I'll be back online in a couple of hours
17:35wow that easy huh yeah then we'll find out where Kirsten's been and nail down who this mole might be
17:41that'll be great yeah it will be great Glenn
17:50I want to find out who's behind this yeah I bet you do Glenn
17:58all right screw this should we go grab some wings
18:00oh I could fuck up some wings
18:02yup says magic kitty has the best in town
18:04here we go
18:05I'm not sure that's our vibe guys uh pretty sure that's a strip club
18:09I think we can handle some mild nudity if the wings are worth it right guys
18:13oh yeah let's go
18:14come on
18:16this is nice
18:33yeah it's a good vibe
18:37hey hey hey thanks for having me
18:40oh absolutely Bert hey you earned it all right you deserve to be here
18:45yeah you really put in the work pal
18:47just thanks for noticing
18:49oh almost forgot
18:53we've been talking and uh
18:55yeah we'd like you to have something
18:58wait wait what yeah what is this the password to dr shestak's photo sharing link
19:08only six people on the planet have access
19:11who i don't know what to say
19:15say yes
19:16say yes to the link of your gynecologist who passes pussy pics
19:20to what the link represents
19:22to us
19:24bring it in
19:25to us
19:26to us
19:35if i see your white ass out somewhere with a fucking shirt on i'm gonna be highly motherfucking
19:40disappointed my boy my boy i bet not see you ever with a shirt on
19:44you know what guys i'm gonna hit the can make a little room for these wings okay yeah i'll be
19:49back
20:17hey you remember the crew my boy my life
20:19hello and my boy sonny
20:20look at you guys
20:22i'm inspired by you bruh
20:23this how we do it now
20:24no shirt gang
20:26shut the fuck up
20:27you changed shit for us
20:28gave us a whole new perspective
20:29really yeah
20:30look at all these motherfuckers
20:32letting rules and shirts dictate their lives
20:34we over here living life on the buckle
20:37you know what i mean
20:37no seatbelt like
20:38for real
20:39boy we about to have a ball tonight my boy
20:43yes we are
20:44let's fucking do this
20:45okay let's go
20:46let's do shots
20:48burn
20:49burn
20:49burn
20:50let's go
20:51man
20:51anything you want
20:54hey did you meet that new chick the one over there
20:56some other thick one
20:57yeah let me go get her okay i'll get her i'll bring her back
20:59all right you gotta stay here
21:02everybody welcome back to the stage one time to the stage
21:05oh excuse me
21:07you okay bruh
21:09yeah you're like fully sweating
21:10must have been a doozy
21:12no i'm good
21:13but i can't say the same for the shitter back there
21:16wait a second
21:17what
21:19did you sneak in a lap dance behind our backs
21:24busted
21:25busted
21:26yeah dude
21:27i was going to the shitter and i cut the corner and this stripper like grabs me and like throws
21:31me down and starts grinding on me
21:33it was like she was trying to undo my fly with her butt she was just
21:38which girl
21:40uh it's that one right there
21:42and she said she could get us in the private room
21:44oh
21:44let me get her over here
21:45no no no no no no no no no no no i'll talk to her i already set up a
21:49rapport with her
21:49you know it would be weird
21:51yeah yeah go go go go go go go go go
21:53what's good fellas
21:55where is she bro
21:56who
21:58what the fuck you got going on my boy
21:59what are you talking about man i'm just partying
22:01wait wait you said you was going to get the girl
22:04then you disappeared for way too long like what the fuck
22:06yeah then you came back here out of breath and shit
22:08not remember what you told us
22:09yeah
22:10you doubt firing us bro
22:11no
22:11i'm not doubt firing anybody i swear to god
22:13i don't know man
22:14we seen you go put a shirt on and go sit with them white folks over there
22:17you really think you could just switch up your whole thing and bounce back and forth without us knowing
22:21hey look this place too small for that shit though
22:23yeah at least in the movie he was far away or nothing
22:25yeah you was the waitress with a tray to hide behind you just out here in the open with him
22:29all right listen guys i thought this was just a shirt and not prosthetics and a wig
22:33i could get away with it
22:34nah nah nah nah nah nah my boy
22:36what about the other guys is they still working on them
22:39oh uh thanks for reminding me
22:41i'm about to find out
22:44hey oh burt
22:45what the fuck
22:47sorry guys i just got caught up
22:50well what happened to your shirt
22:54same fucking stripper
22:56i went to talk to her about the private room
22:58and she fucking ripped my goddamn shirt off
23:00no no no i i gotta say
23:02i'm a little shocked right now
23:03okay
23:04yeah like to my core
23:06i mean here i thought we were all being honest with each other
23:09yeah i'm a little disappointed in you too burt
23:11wait hold on guys let me explain
23:12cause from here
23:13it looked like you
23:14we're partying with pac-man jones without us
23:17wait
23:18what
23:19you know pac-man fucking jones
23:23uh yeah
23:24a little bit
23:25well are you gonna introduce us or what
23:33random motorcalls
23:36random motorcalls
23:42what
23:54i'm so fucking wasted
23:56yeah but you're gonna be good for the surgery right
23:58what
23:59oh yeah
24:00cup of coffee maybe a bump or two i'll be just fine
24:04taaa
24:05that's a whole lot of ass that's a juicy booty
24:08tattoos on her back long wee cutie
24:10she gon make it wiggle
24:11she gon make it wabble
24:12her throat long like a turkey she gon gobble gobble
24:15she gon put it in her mouth she gon bobble bobble
24:17when it looks she
24:21holy shit
24:21burt
24:23come on in
24:24no no i'm good
24:24i am
24:25no no no burt
24:27take a seat
24:27no actually i'd rather not land it
24:29found my phone
24:30huh
24:32In your jacket.
24:36Sit down, Bert.
24:46It was you.
24:49How did I not see it?
24:51Here I was, questioning lifelong friendships,
24:54and it never occurred to me it might be the new guy
24:56who just joined the fucking crew.
24:58That's a surprisingly easy mistake.
25:01Listen, I'm sorry, Len, and I don't know what happened.
25:04I guess maybe Kirsten must have overheard me
25:06talking with you guys on the phone at the school,
25:08and then she came over to me.
25:09Oh, don't tell me she blackmailed you.
25:11She actually did.
25:12Oh, fuck.
25:13I know, it's really upsetting.
25:15Oh, fucking fuck.
25:15I know, and I was gonna come and talk to you privately.
25:19Oh, I'm just kidding.
25:20Oh.
25:21Thank you, honey, that's great.
25:22You're welcome.
25:25Whew.
25:26Goddamn, I can't believe she did that.
25:29What, are you finishing her mouth?
25:30Yes, Kirsten.
25:31God, it just kills me that she did this to you.
25:34I mean, I guess she was just so upset
25:35that Zack broke up with her, you know,
25:37and she didn't know why.
25:38And none of us did.
25:41Yeah.
25:41Then I saw him in one of your stupid fucking jerseys,
25:46and, well, it hit me.
25:49You seduced him, didn't you?
25:51Oh.
25:52So you could rest easy knowing that the kid couldn't bust for shit.
25:56It's actually fucking brilliant.
25:57Look, I was just looking after my daughter.
25:59Oh, no, I get that.
26:00And, hey, I'm a girl dad, too.
26:03And, look, don't even worry about Kirsten blackmailing me.
26:06I'll talk to her, right?
26:07Oh.
26:09Landon, you have no idea, bro.
26:12On one condition.
26:13Oh.
26:13Mr. and Miss Barklage is this Sunday.
26:16And you're gonna be up there, right?
26:18You're gonna be the one announcing the winner.
26:20It's all in your hands.
26:22I'll just read the name of whoever wins.
26:25Absolutely.
26:25You should 100% read the name of whoever gets the most votes.
26:31Cool.
26:32But it's Kirsten.
26:34Wait.
26:36Hang on.
26:36What if someone else wins?
26:37Oh, yeah.
26:38Well, then you should absolutely read that person's name.
26:42But it's Kirsten.
26:43Wait, I'm a little confused.
26:44Because you keep saying that I should read whoever it says.
26:49Yeah, I mean, we want to be fair, don't we?
26:51Right.
26:52Right, yeah.
26:52Right.
26:53Okay, well, then we're on the same page.
26:54Okay.
26:55They'll count the votes.
26:56Yes.
26:56They'll hand you a piece of paper with the name of the new Miss Barklage on it.
26:59And you, as the emcee, will read that name.
27:03Okay.
27:03Okay.
27:04Great.
27:04Great.
27:05But it's Kirsten.
27:09All right.
27:10Well, I'm gonna go do another bump just to get ready for surgery tomorrow.
27:14Are you good?
27:16I knew I could count on you.
27:42I knew I could count on you.
27:43I knew I could count on you.
27:43Uh, the other people will pick you up from me.
27:59Start the bus now after the delivery tomorrow, but you know what?
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