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00:00Previously on Sudden the Amish.
00:02You don't feel like you owe all of us an apology
00:04for how you both acted?
00:06I'm going home.
00:07I'm leaving.
00:08This community's not for me.
00:10I'm not here.
00:12You're not going to change my mind.
00:14Just accept it.
00:15I don't know if Emma left because of how James handled
00:17the Matt Kendra situation.
00:19Family split, friends split.
00:21I don't know if it's because James is giving more attention
00:24to Kendra than her.
00:25We're, like, dropping like flies here.
00:27We only have a week left.
00:28They need to make a decision.
00:30We need to make a decision.
00:31Whether to allow them to continue pursuing membership
00:34here in the Amish church.
00:36Reckoning day is a few days away.
00:38If we continue making the wrong choices,
00:41we continue reaping a wrong harvest.
00:44Right now, the mission looks kind of rough.
00:47I'm not sure yet how we're going to get back on the rails.
00:50Oh, .
00:51Judah, get it.
00:52Yeah!
00:54You know, I'm out here doing things
00:56that I never thought I would do.
00:57It's just such a big decision whether I'm going to remain here
01:00or go back home.
01:02I actually don't mind doing this.
01:04It's kind of fun for me.
01:05Aaron will be more likely to embrace the Amish lifestyle.
01:09Oh, my God.
01:10I'm so hot.
01:11The hardest part for me is the heat.
01:14I feel like I'm dying.
01:15I see this car pull up, and it's my mama.
01:18I definitely plan on taking my son home with me.
01:20If he doesn't want to go back home with me,
01:22there will definitely be a fight.
01:24You can do it, bro.
01:25You are what I'm looking for.
01:47On with another path.
01:47You know what I mean?
01:53I might be a fool.
02:02What's up?
02:04What's up?
02:07Why you ain't caught?
02:08What's she talking about?
02:09I ain't got no phone.
02:10Yeah, and out here, it looks like something on a scary movie.
02:15You know, this ain't the place where black people be.
02:18I've called him.
02:19I've left him several messages, voicemails, text messages.
02:22What do you got on?
02:23What is this get up?
02:25They took my clothes.
02:26What did y'all do with my son's things?
02:29My main goal was to, of course, see my son and bring him home.
02:33Well, I have kerosene on my right hand, but I'll see you as well.
02:35I ain't shaking hands.
02:36OK.
02:37This is James.
02:38This is his house.
02:39There's no AC.
02:41We're using the bathroom in the outhouse.
02:43Shut up.
02:44I don't know how people can live like this.
02:47I don't know. Cut that out.
02:48Ugh.
02:49It was like a bug, like a gnat or something.
02:51Oh, my god.
02:54Kendra and Matt have left.
02:55Emma left.
02:57House is on edge.
02:59Everybody's nervous.
03:01And it's Judah's mom.
03:04If she convinces Judah to leave, I honestly wonder if the house would crumble.
03:08Well, can I sit down?
03:09Because I'm just standing out here and got my bag.
03:11Like, put me on a porch or something.
03:12Like, what's going on?
03:13I don't know.
03:14He's such a staple in this home.
03:17If Judah were to leave with his mom, that would shake this entire house.
03:22So my mom's here right now, and she doesn't think this Amish lifestyle is for me.
03:27I am considering leaving, because there's just a lot of things going on.
03:30It's the devil on one side, angels on another.
03:33I don't know.
03:34You need to go back.
03:35Why?
03:36You look like you lost weight.
03:38Did you want something to drink?
03:40I'm not even thirsty.
03:41You know what?
03:42You can just have it.
03:43No, no.
03:43You can tell that it hasn't been opened.
03:47At least we got it at the market.
03:48Yeah, you can trust me.
03:49Y'all got me out here with cornfields and scary haunted houses.
03:55My first impression of Judah's mother was they are the same.
04:00They are twins.
04:04I'm glad Judah gets to see his mom, but my biggest concern is that she doesn't take him
04:08home.
04:09If we lose even one more person, I'm going to fall in the bad graces of the bishop, and
04:13I'm not going to be unshunned.
04:16How long do you have to be here?
04:17For me, it's about personal growth and personal development.
04:20How long do you need to grow and develop?
04:22Until I feel like I'm ready to stop growing and developing.
04:25So you're telling me I need to keep popping up?
04:26Well, that's what you feel like you need to do.
04:32I love my mama to death, you know, but I feel like sometimes she can be a little controlling
04:36and she wants me to be who she wants me to be or who she envisions me to be.
04:42She doesn't want me to be here, clearly.
04:44Why are you here?
04:45You keep talking about you got stuff to do.
04:49Yeah.
04:50Look at this.
04:51I mean, you in beautiful scenery.
04:54Like, if we don't make it out of places like this, all the movies.
04:58And so we concerned about you.
05:00You better hope you make it out of here, because this ain't some place that I'll be.
05:05I haven't seen many black people here anyways.
05:08These people, when you go here, tell me, oh, they nice, they cool, they treat me like this.
05:12They are nice and they are cool.
05:13So, like, I mean, I want to see how you're living, because I am concerned.
05:16Yeah.
05:17I want to see, you know, like, what you do here.
05:19Our stove over here.
05:21Our stove?
05:22Yeah, we have a stove.
05:24Now, how does this even work?
05:26So, usually the women come out here and cook and they do their thing out here.
05:29We have s'mores and stuff where they make chicken.
05:31You put the kerosene in here, and we drop a match, and then the fire starts.
05:36It takes, like, 30 minutes for it to catch fire.
05:38And so are they putting sticks in there?
05:40Well, we chop the wood, we give it to the ladies, and they...
05:42You chopping wood?
05:43You ain't chopping the wood.
05:44I can show you.
05:45Okay, show you.
05:46Show me how to chop a wood, because I ain't never chop a wood, chop a wood.
05:51Master for real, but...
05:55Yeah, this ain't my calling.
05:56We just gonna leave that.
05:57When I first got here, I couldn't even aim at the wood.
05:59Now that I'm here and I've been doing my thing, I'm chopping wood with no problem.
06:03It took me a minute to do that.
06:05And now that I'm showing my mama, she's not really proud of me.
06:09She doesn't really care.
06:09So, it kind of sucks.
06:11I don't really feel seen or validated by her.
06:14It reminds me, like, being back at home and the first time that my mom found out of my sexuality.
06:20My mom knows that I'm bisexual.
06:22Coming out to her was pretty rough.
06:23In the black community, it's very hard to accept that your son is gay or bi.
06:30Like, the hardest things to accept.
06:33I could only imagine how it feels to know that your kid is something that millions of people hate.
06:58I was not in a big hurry to finish the phone shanty because I figured it would be best if
07:03they would make a clean cut with their outside contacts.
07:05That way they could focus on integrating into the community.
07:09We would have let Kendra make the first call, but she left.
07:13Alan and Sarah talked to the bishop.
07:15It sounds like he thinks it might be the best that we get this phone shanty up.
07:21The Amish do use a phone.
07:23Just a lot of them don't use cell phones.
07:25We have an old phone.
07:27We have a black box.
07:28We have a battery.
07:33Well, I think they'll be excited to call their loved ones.
07:37Maybe I've been pushing them a little too hard to be Amish.
07:39I hope this phone shanty brings the remaining English a little bit of comfort.
07:43This may be the only way to keep them here.
07:48Okay.
07:50I'm trying to make sure I do the right thing here because I'm still shunned.
07:54The bishop kind of has the final say-so, and if he has a bad impression of me, I'm not
08:00in a good position.
08:02I really want these English to actually join the Amish church.
08:05I'm going to continue trying.
08:06I hope the bishop can see that I'm putting in effort.
08:10Okay, guys.
08:11The phone shanty is finally ready.
08:13Finally.
08:14It looks like an outhouse.
08:16Well, it is a phone shanty.
08:17Part of the purpose is to have it a little farther away from the house so it's less convenient.
08:22That way you spend less time on the phone itself.
08:25Is there a limit on the phone line time?
08:28Well, if you're out here all the time, we might put a limit on it.
08:31No tasks, I'm assuming.
08:34I don't think so.
08:36Oh.
08:36Okay.
08:37That's real old.
08:38Okay.
08:38Who is making the first call?
08:47Hello.
08:47Hello.
08:48Hi, honey.
08:50I miss you.
08:51Hello.
08:51This is like the closest we can get to the modern world.
08:55I'm calling from a phone shanty that I helped build.
09:00Good to hear from you from the Amish phone booth.
09:03I know.
09:04I know.
09:04Well, maybe someday I'll build you one.
09:06I'm sure.
09:07Yeah.
09:07Yep.
09:08Seeing Judah's mom just kind of brought back memories of my mom and it made it hard with
09:14everything that's going on.
09:15Obviously, I don't have my phone, so I hope I don't call the wrong number.
09:20I'm so thankful that I can finally use the phone shanty because I need to talk to someone.
09:25Hello.
09:27How can I help you?
09:28Hi, is this Marcy?
09:30No.
09:31Oh.
09:32That's a wrong number.
09:33Sorry, wrong number.
09:34Be lucky I'm surviving in this heat, Mom.
09:37I know.
09:38It hasn't been easy.
09:40Please tell everybody I said hi.
09:42Okay, Billy Joe says hi.
09:44She's alive.
09:45She hasn't found a bishop.
09:47She's not married yet.
09:49Hearing my mom's voice definitely made me hyper aware that I have to make a decision soon.
09:55Yeah, it's been a lot.
09:56So they took my phone and they took my hearing aids.
09:59They got me new ones which have been messing with me.
10:02They're crazy.
10:03Oh, no.
10:04Yeah.
10:04I was hoping that it wouldn't be so difficult.
10:08Wondering when you are coming back.
10:10You probably had to make that decision.
10:12Yeah.
10:14I don't know.
10:15I guess I'm...
10:16We'll see.
10:23Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice...
10:26Oh, no.
10:26I went to build voicemail.
10:28Well, I guess I'll try again later.
10:43Oh, no.
10:48Oh, no.
10:49Oh, no.
10:50Oh, no.
10:51Oh, no.
10:51Oh, no.
10:55It's loose chickens.
10:57Yeah, that's crazy.
10:57That'll be fine.
10:58Y'all right.
10:58I'm not going in here.
10:59Come on.
11:00We going.
11:00If I get attacked, I just see chickens just hit the block on me.
11:04They just hit the corner.
11:05I got you, I got you.
11:06They won't attack you.
11:08When Judah first got here, he was terrified of animals.
11:12Shut up, no!
11:14It's just a small chicken.
11:16Oh, God.
11:17So with meeting his mom, I can see the apple
11:20doesn't fall far from the tree.
11:23Elijah, is a chicken going to come out?
11:24Because you know I do not even play.
11:26Why do they like the coop?
11:27They're free range.
11:29Come on in.
11:29You're fine.
11:30They're having dinner.
11:31I'm not trying to be on the menu.
11:33Can we go?
11:34This is enough.
11:35Look at the cow.
11:36He looks like he about to attack.
11:37I'm not.
11:38They're not going to attack you.
11:39We just got done feeding them.
11:40I bet.
11:42Can I talk to you for a minute?
11:43You mind, Alan, if we step away?
11:45That's OK.
11:47Where you want to go?
11:48I got questions.
11:49Away from this poop, that's where I want to go.
11:53So what's up?
11:55Why are we on this farm?
11:56I'm ready to go.
11:57You should be ready to go, too.
11:58It's poop everywhere.
12:00It's flies everywhere.
12:01The thing is, is that I came for a purpose.
12:03And everybody's not going to understand my purpose.
12:05And it's like, it's getting pretty irritating that you keep trying to drag me away from my purpose.
12:10You already have a purpose.
12:11You have a calling.
12:12Thing is, is you want me to have a purpose the way that you want me to have a purpose.
12:17And that's not how it's going to be.
12:18I have to find my own purpose within myself and with God.
12:22So if God called me to be here, this is where I'm going to be.
12:24But you can't keep trying to drag me up out of that.
12:27This is crap.
12:31It's hard for my mama to understand the growth that I'm having because she's not used to
12:36this lifestyle.
12:37She's in the, she's from the city.
12:39That's where we are both from.
12:40So seeing me transform into this man is hard for her because I'm always going to be her
12:46baby.
12:46But it's time to grow.
12:49So you like these people now and you're trying to tell me this is what you're doing?
12:55I don't know what to tell you.
12:56This is where I am.
12:57And if you can't support that, then it might be better off that you leave.
13:20What are we working on?
13:23Today, I want to show Ashwamela and Billy Joe and old Amish tradition.
13:27I think we're going to be making some pets today.
13:30Making some what?
13:32Pads.
13:32Pads?
13:33Pads.
13:34Oh, like period pads?
13:36Yes.
13:37Oh, okay.
13:38If they want to know how it is to be Amish, I need to show them everything.
13:43All right.
13:44I guess that is something we should probably know how to make.
13:46Yeah.
13:48Oh, we've got one started.
13:51Oh.
13:51Okay.
13:52It's really durable.
13:53This is more of an Esmeralda size.
13:55Are you working on one that might be better for BJ?
13:59Oh, there we go.
14:00We need options.
14:02Oh, my gosh.
14:05We took four layers of terry material and sewed it together.
14:08We use black so it doesn't stain.
14:10So, does this just consist of some towel and some more layers?
14:15Towel fabric, towel fabric.
14:17Yes.
14:17Okay.
14:18And that's reusable.
14:19Yes.
14:21It's gross.
14:23But if you grow up doing it, it's not really foreign to you.
14:28You know, it's like a natural thing.
14:31So, are like tampons just not a thing?
14:34There's some people that use them, but I never did.
14:36Not very common, huh?
14:37No.
14:37Okay.
14:37Okay.
14:39It's actually really not that disgusting.
14:42These menstrual pads are fragrance-free.
14:45They don't contain any microplastics, no harmful chemicals.
14:49So, definitely more organic.
14:50We're using cloth.
14:52It's definitely better for the environment and probably better for us.
14:55So, I might stick to using these Amish ways.
14:59Thank you, Sarah.
14:59Esmeralda, that one's yours.
15:01Keep it.
15:01Thank you, Sarah.
15:02Don't let us stop you from your good, godly work, Sarah.
15:07Danke.
15:18All right.
15:19Come on in.
15:21We've prepared quite a feast.
15:23I love the table.
15:24Y'all did a really good job.
15:27I'm excited that my mom's sitting here having dinner with all of us.
15:31I hope that everybody acts right and is on their best behavior.
15:33I want her to understand why I like being here.
15:36Why I want to be Amish.
15:38There's lemon, if anyone wants lemon, for their water.
15:41Okay.
15:42What's that, chicken?
15:43Chicken?
15:44So, just find out chicken's wearing a coupe.
15:47Might be.
15:49Dinner was a lot for me to process.
15:52And, you know, they have regular things like corn.
15:55Chicken straight from chicken coupe.
15:56Not doing it.
15:57Let's have a silent prayer.
15:59Silent prayer?
16:04Do we hold hands?
16:07Sorry.
16:09My mission at the end of the day is plant a bug in Judah's ear and see what I can
16:13do,
16:13because I have to do more to get my baby back with me.
16:17All right.
16:18Oh, it smells very, very good.
16:20Oh, thank you.
16:22I'm not trying to be rude, but she don't have shoes on.
16:27How do you live with that?
16:30I'm used to it.
16:32Some days I just go without shoes.
16:34It's comfortable.
16:35How long?
16:37You're kidding me.
16:39Well, if you ever come to Kansas City, we gonna get pedicures.
16:44I don't understand how people can live like this.
16:47God creates things for you to make it convenient, and you pushing it away.
16:52It's convenient to the devil.
16:54Like, is it easy?
16:55Like, what is it?
16:56There's that potential.
16:57I don't expect Judah's mom to embrace her lifestyle overnight.
17:01It's a culture shock.
17:02I get it.
17:02This is what you do, right?
17:04This is what you do.
17:05You're walking on...
17:06Make sure they behave.
17:07Okay.
17:08Because some things I get, you know, some things I don't get.
17:11A little beer from Judah.
17:12Yeah.
17:13Yeah, it's really...
17:14I don't know about you, but it's really warm at this dinner table right now.
17:20I don't want her to be corrupting them.
17:23I can't have that happen.
17:24Because I really enjoy air conditioning.
17:28We fight hard against those things.
17:30Why give in?
17:34Y'all okay with this?
17:36Your son seems to be doing okay.
17:39You said what?
17:44The way James was coming on with Judah's mom.
17:48James actually does get very stubborn at times.
17:51It is actually kind of frustrating because I'm just like, get over it.
17:55Let's go on.
17:57You have to really be, like, mentally strong and, like, secure in who you are.
18:01That's a struggle, but, like, every day it becomes a little bit easier.
18:10Hello?
18:14No, I'm not around.
18:16I'm, you know, just hanging out with some of these people.
18:21I'm not around.
18:22No, it's just a lot going on.
18:24You can't have your phone at the table.
18:26Maybe join in the conversation here.
18:29Judah's mom is not so supportive.
18:31It is a big test for him personally.
18:34But I have faith that his character and the progress that he's made will see him through.
18:41So, in your culture, you have no phones.
18:44Like, no way to communicate except for if you're not right here.
18:48If Izzy's not right here, I can't talk to Izzy.
18:50Pretty much.
18:51Um, potentially using a phone, a phone shanty.
18:55What is a phone shanty?
18:56It looks kind of like an outhouse without the restroom part.
18:59With a phone in it.
19:02Judah, you want to grab that sign?
19:08Let your faith be bigger than your fear.
19:10That's my answer.
19:12If we have things worldly, people are susceptible to idolize it, is what he says.
19:17There's that potential.
19:18See, part of the culture's goal is to live a simple lifestyle.
19:23Mm-hmm.
19:24Just to not be conformed to the world.
19:26So, being, living a simple life, you don't have to worry about those bills and things of that nature.
19:31You just...
19:32Less things to stress about, sure.
19:33Yeah.
19:34I'm not as accepting as he is with everybody that's around.
19:39I mean, they're good people and I accept them.
19:41But hopefully, he'll accomplish what he needs to accomplish and come home.
19:45Did you get to look around the house?
19:47Did you find a place where you might want to sleep?
19:49Because we have an extra...
19:50Oh, yeah.
19:50We have an extra bed in our room.
19:52Ooh, looks at her.
19:53That face.
19:54You got that face.
19:55You didn't come to stay.
19:56Absolutely not.
19:57Yeah.
19:58Some people sleep out here in the floor.
19:59We don't actually sleep at night either.
20:00Because the flies are all over here.
20:02The flies.
20:03The centipedes.
20:04The centipedes are pretty big.
20:05Oh, yeah.
20:05The centipedes are pretty big.
20:06Did the exterminators get rid of those bats yet?
20:09Oh, my God.
20:10You're ready to sign up home.
20:12Oh, my God.
20:14That's crazy.
20:15That's insane.
20:16That's crazy.
20:17Yeah, yeah.
20:18I know.
20:19It's crazy.
20:20We have no choice.
20:21Yes.
20:22I'm so happy to be here with y'all and the bonds that we created.
20:25Good.
20:27It's only so close that you can get to people.
20:30And he's kind of taking these people in as, like, family.
20:32And he's allowing them to lead him.
20:34And he's making bonds and they're brothers.
20:36And I'm just like, are you really making these connections with these people and pushing me away?
20:43Everybody definitely loves Judah.
20:45We can't afford to lose him.
20:49I'm a single mom.
20:50So growing up, I taught my kids the best that I could.
20:55Like, he cut grass probably, like, three times in his life ever, if that.
21:01But to see him actually out here doing manual labor, chopping wood, telling me he's getting up and doing chores,
21:06I am very proud of him for that.
21:09However, my ultimate goal is to take him home, get him out of those Amish clothes, and get him back
21:14where he needs to be.
21:15This is what you be doing all day.
21:18Oh, oh, the brake is on the back.
21:20The brake is on the back.
21:21The brake is on the back.
21:22The brake is on the back.
21:22Oh, oh, oh.
21:25Judah really shouldn't even be alive today.
21:29There was a time where he was, like, grazed by a bullet, like, in his neck.
21:33OK.
21:35But it's like a day I'll never forget and just thinking, like, my son could potentially not be here.
21:40Two miles an hour.
21:42So everybody see me.
21:43OK, this good?
21:45Come on, now.
21:46Is this good?
21:47Come on, you got it.
21:49So just that made me cling on to him so much closer.
21:53So now, not having this location, not being able to talk to him, just knowing where he is, being able
21:58to reach out and connect to him, just, it's different.
22:01Sorry.
22:03Watch out for the bump.
22:05Watch out for the bump.
22:05Watch the brake.
22:06Go in the grass.
22:07Go to the grass.
22:11Yeah.
22:34Good morning, Prince Charming.
22:37How's it going, Cinderella?
22:39Well, the menu this morning.
22:41Chocolate chip pancakes, scrambled eggs, and regular bacon and turkey bacon.
22:47My mom went to the hotel for the night.
22:49Ain't no way she was sleeping here.
22:50I don't think it was the same one that Matt and Kendra went to.
22:52Do we need anything else from inside?
22:54Uh, some paper towels.
22:55Paper towels?
22:56OK.
22:57Definitely having a routine now of us kind of making breakfast in the morning.
23:00Sarah's the one that takes charge.
23:02I let her do all the cooking things.
23:03I cannot work the stove to save my life still.
23:06I feel like I'm more of, like, the runners.
23:08Paper towels.
23:10I'll just, like, kind of do the preparation steps, and then she handles, like, the big boy stuff.
23:14Could get used to this life being served to, house being cleaned and cooked.
23:19This might be why I go Amish.
23:23I'm not mad about it.
23:26Thank you, Sarah, for making all of us breakfast.
23:28Thank you, Sarah.
23:29You're welcome.
23:30You want one to try one of these?
23:31Got it?
23:32There you go.
23:34Sarah, how are you guys loving the Amish life?
23:36I have so many, like, things that I'm debating.
23:38Obviously, at the front is air conditioning, as we all know.
23:43Last night was another extremely rough night.
23:48I couldn't sleep.
23:50It's so hot.
23:52I thought by now I would be more used to this, but I just really hope that it gets better.
23:59I think the people at this table, besides you guys, because you're already Amish, really are considering, like, what do
24:06I do?
24:07And the good and the bad of both decisions.
24:09So without, like, a few people here that I think had already made the decision they didn't want to do
24:14this, it's even harder now because we're all so close.
24:17The mission is to help people integrate into the community.
24:24With Emma and Matt and Kendra leaving, I was hoping for a better result.
24:31What are you thinking, girl?
24:34English or Amish?
24:36I think it'll be hard to, like, go back home and just go back to, like, my everyday, like, working
24:41life and having to be on my phone all the time.
24:44So, I don't know. I think it's still, like, something I'm really debating.
24:49It just feels like a lot of, a lot of pressure because although I want to grow with the community
24:54and I want to be a part of it, it's also, like, I need to look at my own life
24:59and, you know, the decision that I truly want to make.
25:16For a while now, I've been doing, like, a trial job at the country cupboard.
25:20So it's nice to finally just get off the form and maybe have some AC.
25:24I'll go grab the broom.
25:27We can, uh, clean up and sweep, so.
25:30Sure.
25:33Working at Country Cupboard is not a hard job. It just takes commitment and willingness to do the jobs.
25:41It wasn't a huge store, but you're just going up and down the aisles and there's pins and so much
25:47dust that accumulates.
25:48It's like a workout.
25:50So Sarah did tell me that it's pretty normal, especially if you do not have any kids or a household
25:55to take care of, to have a job outside of the house.
25:59I do miss my Roomba. I feel like that'll make this job even quicker, but do you know what a
26:05Roomba is?
26:06I don't know.
26:06It's like an automatic, like, vacuum cleaner.
26:09Like a robot.
26:10Yeah, a robot vacuum. Yeah, it's amazing.
26:14Definitely suggest it would make this process so much quicker.
26:18The robot vacuum cleaner that she mentioned, I think that would never be acceptable to have here.
26:25It just takes forever to sweep the store and it's physically exhausting, especially when you're wearing an Amish dress.
26:33It's a monotonous, monotonous task.
26:36I'm a behavior analyst in my English job, so I work with kids with autism.
26:41I think it's a pretty rewarding job.
26:44So going from, you know, something that I study hard and get my master's for to now holding a broom
26:49to sweep floors in a country cupboard is such a step down.
26:58There's just been so much that has been going on that my mind's constantly just running.
27:06From the Matt and Kendra situation, Emma leaving, Judah's mom being here and trying to take him away, all of
27:14James' rules, the gossip, the jealousy, the thinkless jobs.
27:20It's basically like this Amish life is not any different from the life I left.
27:26I'm tired.
27:40I'm coming to the house to talk to my son and one final plea to get him to come back
27:45with me.
27:46My hope is that Judah will see the lights and just come home.
27:54This is what you're doing, huh?
27:56Yep, doing my chores.
27:58So you gonna cut all this land with this?
28:02Yeah.
28:03I'm not scared of hard work.
28:06I get it.
28:07I raised you not to be a quitter, and it is a beautiful place on the surface.
28:11But I personally still don't understand why you're here.
28:15When I can't call you, when I can't see you, when I wanna see you, that's a problem for me.
28:19You out here with these strange people, I don't know if they freaky Jasons or what's going on.
28:24Son, I really, really want you to leave this place.
28:27I want you to come back with me.
28:30You gotta go all these mouths to try to make you become this person, whoever this person is that you're
28:36trying to be.
28:37I'm your mom, I'm your only friend, I'm your best friend.
28:40Come with me because I said so.
28:42Taking him home with me will definitely be a fight.
28:45But I'm not leaving empty handed.
28:48I'm gonna make him come back with me.
28:58See, you don't see me growing.
29:00Cause back home, I would never willingly just wanna get up and mow the lawn.
29:03So look at me, mowing all these acres, because I value what God has given us.
29:13Before I came here, like honestly, if I be real, I didn't really like, feel like I was useful in
29:19anybody's life or as a man.
29:23And being here, I've been a voice for people.
29:25I've been a voice for people.
29:26I've stood up for people.
29:27I've been able to find my voice and help other people find their voice.
29:30I've been able to put together a phone shanty.
29:33I've cleaned a chicken coop.
29:34I've pet animals that I never thought I would see that close.
29:38I've been in the cornfields.
29:39I've done so much here that I feel like it's helped me mold into a better man.
29:49Does that make sense?
29:53I am gonna be staying here cause this is where I feel like I need to be.
30:01I still love you though.
30:05I am proud of you.
30:06I am proud of you getting up doing your chores.
30:08I am proud of you making your bed.
30:10I am proud of you being willing to help the people that you've grown a relationship with here.
30:16It's been a lot for me.
30:18But I respect that son and I respect you and I respect the decisions that you make.
30:23I appreciate that and I just want us to appreciate each other and stay knit cause like you always say
30:29we all we got.
30:34Don't worry.
30:46Come on.
30:48Don't worry.
30:55I know.
30:57Please don't cry.
30:59I know, right.
30:59my initial goal was to just yank my son out of here even though i fell miserably to convince
31:07my son to come back with me i will accept that and respect that
31:17i did not raise a quitter i am extremely proud of the man that he is evolving the
31:22man that he is becoming the man that he is now that was the hardest thing i ever did in
31:26my life
31:41i don't even want to grow up
31:44i don't really know what's going on but billy joe is really sick
31:52she's been laying in bed we've been kind of having to take care of her because she does not look
31:57good
31:57at all you'll feel better if you throw up i'm really worried for her because she's throwing up
32:11she's nauseous she's you know pale
32:13i just need to play on that throw block are you dizzy still yeah she wasn't feeling good at all
32:29at
32:30dinner time i would like to get you to the hospital last night billy joe was throwing up i'm thinking
32:37that it's just a little bug she's having from the food or from the heat and then just to wake
32:41up
32:41this morning she's still throwing up and not feeling good she's crying her head hurts
32:48and it's not looking too good
32:51the whole drama with kendra and matt has been a lot on her she's stressed out
32:54it's hot it's overwhelming and this is way more serious than i thought
32:59i just love her and i really hope that she's okay
33:12dj is sick and so she's going to the hospital
33:20well the amish take care of what they can themselves but if something is life-threatening
33:24they do use hospitals it must be serious if she wants to go to the hospital
33:51i get there they give her iv fluids and the doctor says that she will suffer from heat exhaustion
33:59not yet starting the fluids you can call it dehydration i can call it deprivation or like
34:07drama because everyone leaving the heat everything was getting to me
34:16at this point i already lost kendra matt my mom if i lose billy joe then i'm gonna lose my
34:23girl that's
34:23one of my main road dogs in here maybe i just need an idea dude i already feel better for
34:31judah
34:32he was like no no no i really i need to go and check on bj and he didn't leave
34:37my side
34:38i don't have friends in the outside world that would do that for me
34:46me and bj bonded because we're both funny incredibly good looking smart you know and um
34:53she kind of like
34:57completes me and it's just um i just love her and i and i really hope that she's okay
35:03i think we're okay to let you go home as long as you can drink normally now your blood work
35:08looks
35:08okay maybe stay out of the sun a couple of days yeah do you need a special like note or
35:12anything like
35:13that no no it might be like the james well i'll take my risks with him
35:26when um when i was sick judah was hands down my best friend he's an amazing human and i
35:39wouldn't want to share this experience without him
35:58you want to get that broccoli and put it in this pan sure i do sarah sure i do
36:03you know being at the hospital i was in the air conditioned facility but now it's back to reality
36:11back to the grind you know laundry has to be done meals have to be prepared here aaron will you
36:18drop
36:18these on the table please reckoning day is tomorrow and i'm a little worried my body
36:28is struggling and it would be a struggle every year in this life every day in this life and it's
36:36something i've always wanted but i'm not sure it's something that i can physically handle
36:45never would i have thought to make this back home in the amish community the dinner table or
36:51meal times that is when a lot of our important discussions take place coming behind hot chicken
36:59the whole family is gathered together everybody's present it's time to eat let's go outside i mean
37:05yeah we're eating but yet we have time to uh sit and talk and discuss important topics together
37:12well it looks good there you go billy joe how do you feel super hydrated thank you guys for coming
37:23to my aid especially judah there you are my dear well guys before you all get too comfy here
37:32tomorrow is a big day bishop is going to be at church then he will decide if you stay or
37:39not
37:42and if you have any last questions ask away he's gonna decide whether we stay or not just him me
37:51and
37:51alan could put in a good word if we desire to well would you desire to put in a good
37:57word for me yeah
37:57would you desire it oh there's only one night left and james is still playing games playing with our
38:07emotions when does it ever end i am very disappointed with james i'm dealing with the english that way
38:16his viewpoints on the amish lifestyle is very different uh from mine or my brothers he can be very
38:23very uh hard so basically you say you're not sure about us yet yeah you have talked about not staying
38:30so
38:31i'm not sure if he asked me judah i would definitely tell him to let you but i have to
38:38figure out what
38:38i'm gonna say too it is scary it's a whole lifestyle change but it's important and it's something that's
38:44not to be taken lightly but sarah and i will do our best to advocate for you i don't know
38:51what he has in
38:52mind but across that bridge when he gets here i could sense that they were nervous they wonder if
39:00they're good enough or they wonder if the bishop will let them in the journey is going to be ending
39:07very soon this is a lifelong decision because it is a commitment to the community and god and if you
39:16leave after you are a member you would be shunned i guess for me i'm just like a little bit
39:21scared of
39:22like the transition because i feel like everything's happening so quick i think both ellen and sarah
39:26have kind of seen me grow so much from like day one like didn't really know how to do anything
39:30i was
39:30kind of grossed out by everything but i think they've seen the growth in me they see that i do
39:33get up in
39:34the morning and i cook and clean and i think they'll advocate for me for the most part
39:40i've been back and forth the whole time how can i join the amish community with without hearing aids
39:44i think that's a big hesitancy in me joining because it's huge it's a giant deal for me do i
39:52need to get a big megaphone and put it to my ear like the the old school cones i need
39:58that in order
39:59to function that would be something to discuss with him i think this whole thing is very sobering for
40:05me right now i mean hearing aids i need a pair that i can adjust easily and constantly so i
40:14mean i don't
40:14know what that looks like i have a problem i would say just because some of my best friends are
40:21gay
40:23and i'm really concerned with the stance against like the lgbtq community with the amish
40:34listen judah has been there for me since day one he's my right hand he's my go-to he's my
40:39world here
40:40so i'm being honest his bisexuality in the amish community it concerns me you know if i can bring
40:47it up in some at supper and just kind of touch on it and tiptoe and get feelings about how
40:54everyone
40:54else takes on that then i'm gonna do it like i am not um gay but i love some people
41:01that are so it's not
41:04that we're saying we don't like them the people in themselves and it's not biblical
41:13so if i were gay then i would not be able to be a part of the community is that
41:18what you're saying
41:20i don't know if i'm ready yet to allen and james that i'm by it just brought back so much
41:24anxiety
41:25so when bj does bring it up it makes me feel weak because i didn't step up to the plate
41:31and bring it
41:32up first but at the same time i feel like i either talk to them about my sexuality now or
41:38it will
41:38never happen okay my thing is this um next time on suddenly amish could each of you maybe stand and
41:54say your piece i'm just really nervous and i'm just feeling all the things right now
41:59my life completely changes after today if yes i'm amish forever judah do you want the amish life
42:06or not i'm not willing to compromise my identity to be a part of a community who may not appreciate
42:12me it's important that others will be accepted that will make or break my decision jesus said
42:18he who lays his hand to the plow and looks back is not worthy of his kingdom
42:22do we or don't we accept it's a decision for life
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