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00:29Welcome, welcome, welcome to Last Week Tonight.
00:32I'm John Oliver. Thank you so much for joining us.
00:35It has been a busy week.
00:37We learned that the U.S. lost 92,000 jobs last month.
00:41Kristi Noem was replaced as head of DHS.
00:43And of course, last Saturday, the U.S. and Israel launched airstrikes on Iran.
00:47And since then, it's been hard to discern exact facts on the ground.
00:50Although some outlets, like this British morning show,
00:52did manage to make some pretty avoidable mistakes.
00:56We've got to show you some footage here, by the way, from,
00:58from Iran of people dancing like Trump.
01:04So...
01:04.
01:05.
01:07.
01:08.
01:09There we go.
01:20.
01:21I gather that's in Iran and they're doing the Trump dance,
01:23which is just basically a very slight move of the hips and where is it? Where is it? It's not
01:28Iran.
01:30Ah, it's crucially not Iran and that's very important because it was in Iran they might all be killed.
01:37Exactly, but that does feel important doesn't it? It seems their editorial process is step one,
01:43see video, doesn't matter where. Step two, immediately play video to millions of people
01:46and have some fun with it. And finally step three, which has to happen midway through step two,
01:50check if video real. It's perfect journalism and yes, before you ask, that is my son.
01:58Meanwhile, the White House and its supporters have been all over the place this week explaining why
02:02we did this. At various points they claimed Iran was going to attack us, Israel was going to attack
02:06Iran which would have led to them attacking us, Iran was going to assassinate Trump so we assassinated
02:10the Ayatollah first, Iran was going to obtain nuclear weapons or ICBMs and we just did this
02:14to free the Iranian people out of the kindness of our hearts. As for the question of who's going to
02:19lead Iran now, that seems to have no clear answer either. Trump's insisted he must be involved in
02:25that decision and apparently he had some potential contenders for the role. But as he explained,
02:30there was just one slight problem. Well, most of the people we had in mind are dead.
02:35We had some in mind from that group that is, uh, is dead. And now we have another group,
02:42they may be dead also. Based on reports. So I guess you have a third wave coming in. Pretty
02:49soon we're not going to know anybody. Yeah, not ideal. Everyone keeps dying and soon we're not
02:55going to know anyone isn't how you should be describing your foreign policy. At best,
02:58it's how you describe the experience of being a Grateful Dead fan.
03:02The war has already spiraled out to include over a dozen other countries and it now appears
03:07the U.S. bombed a school, killing at least 175 people, many of them children. This all seems
03:12reckless, chaotic and not remotely well thought through. In fact, Trump in that weird way,
03:18which he's occasionally very honest, seemed to acknowledge what the future could look like.
03:23Mr. President, what's the worst case scenario that you have planned for in Iran?
03:29Well, I don't know if there's a worst case. We have, um, very much,
03:33uh, beaten militarily from the military standpoint. I guess the worst case would be we do this and then
03:39somebody takes over who's as bad as the previous person, right? That could happen.
03:45Uh, we don't want that to happen. That would probably be the worst. You go through this and then,
03:50uh, in five years you realize you put somebody in who is no better.
03:56Right. That is exactly right. And it's jarring to hear such a lucid analysis of his own actions in the
04:02Middle East there. You don't expect that from him. It's like hearing him say,
04:06have you read the latest issue of the New Yorker? Or seeing him in the Criterion closet? Wait,
04:11he picked Persona? It's his favorite Bergman? I don't think I understand anything anymore.
04:18And look, obviously there'll be much more to say about Iran going forward. But for now,
04:22we're going to dive in with our main story this week concerning something Donald Trump
04:25absolutely hates. And even more than finding makeup that'll match his complexion.
04:30Go to Sephora, dude. It'll take 10 minutes.
04:37Specifically, we're going to talk about the United States Agency for International Development,
04:41or USAID. It was once described as the world's single largest humanitarian donor providing aid in
04:46the form of disaster relief, global health, food assistance, climate resilience, education,
04:50and much more. And when Trump returned to the White House last year, he made it clear
04:55that the agency was in his sights. USAID, run by radical lunatics.
05:02It sounds so nice. USAID. Isn't that beautiful? But it's a whole big scam.
05:08When you look at USAID, that's a, uh, that's a fraud. The whole thing is a fraud. Very little,
05:15uh, very little being put to good use. Okay, so set aside the irony of Donald Trump,
05:21of Trump University accusing anything of being a fraud. You can't just call something a scam
05:27because you don't like it. I want to call low-rise jeans a scam. I feel like pepper pigs,
05:33a fraud. I believe radical lunatics run Jamba Juice. Liquid fruit isn't a treat,
05:38it's cough syrup at best. But even I, acknowledge that my feelings don't make any of those thoughts
05:43true. But Trump was fixated on USAID and its spending, which is a little surprising given
05:48it amounted to less than one percent of the federal budget. Yet Trump and Elon Musk quickly dismantled
05:55the agency, with Elon at one point proudly tweeting he'd spent the weekend feeding USAID
06:00into the wood chipper. And a lot of MAGA Republicans were ecstatic about that.
06:05Right-wing influencer Benny Johnson even made a trip to D.C. to celebrate.
06:09I just got into Washington D.C. I had to see it for myself to believe it. USAID
06:18is no more. Check it out. There we go. Got the duct tape. Got the doors all closed off.
06:31Got the, got everything all blacked out up there.
06:36Had to see it to believe it. The, uh, the consequences of Doge.
06:43They're not effing around. I encourage you to come here. Probably the number one selfie spot in all of Washington.
06:50First, congratulations to Benny Johnson on winning 2026's most punchable glasses. And I say that
06:56as the former holder of that title. But also, that's clearly not the number one selfie spot in D.C.
07:02That would, of course, be the Washington Monument taken at an angle so it looks like a dick.
07:07Or a cherry blossom tree so that it looks like a dick. Or one of those pandas at the National
07:12Zoo
07:13so that it looks like a dick. But it's not just Benny Johnson. The House Foreign Affairs Committee
07:18of Republicans celebrated the collapse of USAID by posting this incredibly shitty meme.
07:29Now, that is obviously gross, but it does say something about how annoying J.D. Vance is,
07:33that even in that context, one of my first thoughts was, well, J.D. made the cut. Good for him.
07:38And if you think that meme is in bad taste now, just wait until you see the consequences of these
07:44cuts. Because they've had real impact on people around the world engaged in the act of saving lives.
07:48Like this nurse who, among other things, vaccinates children in remote areas of Uganda.
07:53To reach the isolated eastern Uganda mountain communities that need her help,
07:59nurse Agnes Namboza scales a treacherous 1,000-foot ladder.
08:03It's too steep for small children, mothers carrying babies, and the sick to climb down.
08:09Now Namboza's path has gotten tougher. USAID cuts have eliminated many jobs at her clinic.
08:15As she and those who remain try to take up the slack, avoiding burnout could be as much of a
08:21challenge
08:22as getting to the isolated communities that need her help. Holy shit! That image of her on the ladder
08:29is absolutely incredible. It's like Free Solo, except unlike Alex Honnold, she's not going out
08:35of her way to make such a big fucking deal about it. But the point is, they took what appears
08:40to be
08:40the hardest job on earth and somehow made it even harder. And that is just the beginning of the
08:47consequences here. Because these cuts are estimated to have led to hundreds of thousands of deaths
08:51last year alone. So given all that, tonight, we thought we'd take a look at USAID.
08:56It's specifically, what we've lost, why it happened, and who is responsible.
09:01And let's start with the fact that USAID was created in 1961 by JFK for both humanitarian
09:06reasons and also to increase US soft power abroad. And since then, it's come to take a
09:11leading role in everything from fighting disease to disaster assistance. In fact, when there were
09:16devastating earthquakes in Turkey and Syria just three years ago, the agency sent a response
09:20team that at one point comprised more than 200 people, many of whom assisted with search
09:25and rescue efforts like this. With signs of a survivor, the USAID team calls in reinforcements,
09:30and then we witness the impossible. Turkish rescue workers managed to recover a living victim.
09:36This is extraordinary. You can see what looks like a middle-aged man being pulled out of this
09:40wreckage. Okay, that is obviously incredible, but was it completely necessary to describe him as
09:45what looks like a middle-aged man? Was that pertinent? I'm just like, I hope he's right about that guy's
09:53age, because if it turns out he's actually 19, the last thing he needs is some reporter calling him old.
09:58Hey, my hair is white from the dust of the building I've been stuck under for days, you arsehole!
10:05It's frankly no wonder that thanks to scenes like that, USAID has enjoyed broad bipartisan support.
10:12In fact, when the agency turned 60, Lindsey Graham sent this video message.
10:15Happy anniversary to all my friends at USAID. You've made a big difference in the world.
10:21You're a force for good. You've created a great impression for our country and you've changed lives.
10:26I've been a big champion for a long time. Uh, enjoy this anniversary. And when it comes to USAID,
10:32uh, the best is yet to come.
10:33Well, that's nice, isn't it? And I'm sure it motivated employees back then beyond belief.
10:38Imagine suddenly getting a message from the man who succeeded, Strom Thurmond,
10:42speaking with all the enthusiasm of someone who just got paid $6.50 on Cameo.
10:48But it wasn't just Lindsey Graham. Marco Rubio was also a huge supporter, praising the
10:52agency's work on at least two dozen occasions over more than a decade.
10:55In fact, when he was named Secretary of State, many USAID employees were hopeful,
11:00thinking he'd help to protect them. But that is not what has happened.
11:05Because this administration quickly brought USAID to its knees.
11:09By February 1st of last year, its website had been taken down.
11:12By February 7th, almost all its 10,000 employees were placed on leave.
11:15And by mid-March, after a supposed six-week review, 83% of USAID programs had been terminated.
11:22And in a sign of just how thoroughly the agency had been destroyed, when there was a massive
11:27earthquake in Myanmar last March. Instead of getting hundreds of US rescuers, this is what happened.
11:33Aid workers say help from the United States, at least, is nowhere to be found.
11:37No American rescue teams, no visible US presence in Mandalay, no American flags on the food trucks.
11:54It's true. We sent three workers and then fired them while they were there.
11:59And not only is that not enough people to send to an earthquake, for what it's worth,
12:04it is exactly the wrong number of people to send on any trip, even under the best circumstances.
12:08Two people? Sure, that's intimate, but you can both spend time alone if it's feeling tense.
12:13Four, more combinations, more vibe possibilities.
12:16Don't want a window shop in the commercial district with Casey? No problem.
12:19You can hang by the hotel pool with Leanne. But three, that is a nightmare.
12:25You're either shit-talking Tamara for being annoying about the street food tour,
12:28or you're alone knowing that the other two are shit-talking you
12:33for being so annoying about the riverboat thing.
12:36And at this point, it is worth engaging with the arguments for dismantling USAID.
12:41And let's start with the claim that there was, to use conservatives' favorite phrase,
12:44waste, fraud, and abuse. Elon claimed that the vast majority of the agency's spending
12:49was either wasteful or nefarious, and here is his response when Joe Rogan pressed him on that.
12:54So, is there a way to, uh, audit all this stuff and find out,
12:59oh, these people are actually just sending food to poor people. These people are actually
13:03just helping people with water in third-world countries. There's a way to do that and keep
13:08funding those. Uh, yeah. I mean, we have continued to fund things that appear to be legitimate,
13:14even with the flimsiest, if there's even the flimsiest excuse. Like, I just say, like,
13:18send me a picture of the thing. Like, you could literally have AI generate the picture,
13:22but if you're not even willing to try to trick me, then we're, like, not gonna send the money.
13:27What the fuck are you talking about? Send me a picture? You can't treat foreign aid like
13:33it's a Grubhub delivery. And by the way, I don't even think Grubhub drivers should have to do that
13:38either. Enough is asked of them already without making them take an awkward photo of me accepting
13:42my bag of ramen. And to address Rogan's question, there actually was an army of staffers,
13:48including auditors and lawyers, both inside the agency and in its inspector general's office,
13:53whose job it was to track spending. And for what it's worth, one review found in the last six IG
13:58reports of USAID, 94 percent of the spending had been audited and only 0.3 percent were found to
14:05have issues. And even then, half of that was reclaimed. But even without knowing that,
14:09it's tough to take waste allegations from Elon seriously, given his Doge team
14:14seemed to have no idea what the programs they were cutting even did.
14:18ProPublica recently revealed that people at the agency watched as their brand new chief of staff
14:23scrolled down a spreadsheet of programs, turning rows red, yellow or green every few seconds,
14:28never asking a single question. Then, realizing that the red programs were slated to be cut,
14:33they frantically started editing descriptions so we'd at least know what those programs did.
14:38And while the administration at one point insisted the programs would be spared if they were
14:43considered life-saving, just listen to this former USAID employee tell a Senate roundtable
14:48how those decisions got made.
14:50When we flagged a long list of awards that were needed for life-saving activities,
14:55we were told that the problem was the names of those awards didn't make clear that they were
15:00life-saving. It didn't have the word life-saving in the name and therefore it was very hard for the
15:06secretary's team to understand which awards should or should not be terminated. And so the implication was
15:11that if we had been more clear in the names that these were life-saving awards, maybe then they
15:16would have been saved. Now obviously that is stupid for a thousand reasons. First, because
15:20everybody knows that names aren't usually literal descriptions of what you are getting. It's the
15:26reason that ketchup isn't called salty tomato inspired glop. Conjunctivitis isn't called
15:30shit on your finger then touched your eye disease. And this show isn't called facts you read in the
15:35New Yorker 18 months ago with what seems to be a middle-aged man. It's called poetic license.
15:42And it is notable that for all the talk of fraud, even Jeremy Lewin, a doge guy who eventually served
15:48as deputy administrator and COO of the agency and who often personally decided which program should
15:54be axed, later admitted his team didn't find much. You know, we talk about, people talk about fraud,
16:02right? Doge didn't find that much fraud at USAID. It's a definitional question. What is fraud in the
16:08sense of, well, you know, maybe I defrauded you. The grant says I do X and I do Y, right?
16:12That's a
16:13very narrow conception of fraud. But is it a fraud to say you have this organization that, you know,
16:18the New York Times has painted as feeding all sorts of, you know, poor and destitute people around
16:23the world. But in fact, a significant portion of the money is going to pay $400,000 salaries at UC
16:27Berkeley
16:27to do climate and sort of race science research, right? Is that a fraud on the American people?
16:32I mean, I would say it kind of is.
16:34Okay, so radicalized young Sheldon there is basically answering, did doge find fraud with,
16:41it's a definitional question, which isn't a great look. If you ask a detective, did you find the
16:46killer? And he says, it depends how you define the words killer and find. It would be safe to say
16:51the Tulsa Strangler is still definitely at large.
16:54As for his claim there about salaries for race science research projects, we tried to find out
16:59what the fuck he was talking about and we couldn't. We even asked him and the state department for more
17:05information about it and they didn't provide any. But if the very phrase race science set off alarm
17:11bells, you should know people who knew Lewin in high school said he had a history of violent outbursts
17:15and racist remarks and that he believed non-white people were inherently of lower value than white
17:20people, which seems like a whole lot of words for racist. And I don't think that's a definitional issue.
17:26Now, before Lewin got that job at USAID, his position was held by a different
17:30member of the Trump administration called Pete Morocco. He actually worked there during Trump's
17:35first term too and attempted to delay or halt dozens of programs, but ultimately wasn't successful,
17:41which is why when he came back last year, one former official said what we're seeing right now
17:46is Pete's revenge tour. And for the record, Pete's revenge tour sounds like a band composed entirely of
17:53former middle school football coaches who got fired because kids kept getting heat stroke and
17:58all of whom were at the capital on January 6th. And I only say that
18:02because Morocco did apparently storm the capital on January 6th with with his wife, by the way, couple goals.
18:10But the thing is, as eager as this administration has been to eradicate any funding it claimed was going to
18:16woke causes and singling out small individual expenditures for ridicule, it still doesn't explain
18:22wholly dismantling this agency. Because traditionally, administrations have been free to make sure
18:28foreign aid reflects their values, whatever those values are. Just listen to the man who ran USAID
18:35under George W. Bush explain that to Congress. When the Democrats took over, they moved the agency
18:41to the left. I moved it to the right. The Obama people actually said I was very right-wing. I
18:47was the
18:48most right-wing administrator in the history of the agency. And yet the career people followed what I
18:53wanted to do in the agency. We put heavy emphasis on economic growth. I believe in economic growth.
18:59I believe in the private sector. I believe in free markets. That's what AID does. The notion that AID
19:06is some kind of a Marxist institution is absolutely ridiculous, okay? Exactly. Think of USAID like the
19:14cha-cha slide. You can slide it to the left. You can slide it to the right. And the next
19:19administration
19:20can then take it back now, y'all. Even during Trump's first term, he didn't take USAID apart.
19:29He just shifted its focus by deprioritizing areas like maternal health and family planning,
19:34while increasing funding for emergency responses and digital infrastructure. All of which raises
19:38the question, what changed this time to make them want to put the agency through a wood chipper?
19:44Well, I'm afraid the answer to that is incredibly dumb. Because many observers think it has
19:49something to do with this guy, Mike Benz, a far-right conservative activist. Elon's fixation on USAID
19:55appears to date to late 2024, when Benz appeared on Joe Rogan's podcast and shit all over the agency.
20:01Elon then retweeted, replied to, or mentioned Benz over 160 times in the next year, sharing things like,
20:08USAID was a vipers nest of radical left Marxists to hate America, and USAID is a criminal organization.
20:14Even that wood chipper tweet was in reply to Mike Benz. And it's worth taking a minute to explain who
20:22Mike Benz is. He worked a few jobs during Trump's first term, including a brief stint at the State
20:27Department, and he is, to put it mildly, a chronically online lunatic. Among the things he's posted are this
20:34portrait of Trump made out of charcuterie, and this AI slot video where he farts in former FBI
20:40director Chris Wray's mouth. He also once posted about the jeans he got for his birthday. And you're
20:45thinking, well, hold on, that doesn't seem so bad to me. I'll point out, these were the jeans.
20:50That's right, he got 9-11 jeans for his birthday. You could apparently buy those jeans online for $180.
20:59And the reason I know that is, oh, fuck you, how little do you think of me?
21:05But it gets worse. Because Benz apparently used to be a content creator who went by frame game and
21:13pushed a variety of far-right narratives, including the great replacement theory, and made montages
21:17urging white viewers to unite under the banner of race. And he is fixated on the notion that USAID
21:24is basically a front. Here is how he put it to Rogan in that interview that got Elon's attention.
21:29There's no aid in USAID, by the way. That's... Your brain is being tricked when you see the phrase
21:34USAID. It's not an aid organization. The aid in USAID stands for Agent...
21:38U.S. Agency for International Development. Yeah, it's an acronym, Mike.
21:46It's an acronym. We all know how those work. You haven't exactly blown Roswell open there.
21:53But that's just the beginning. Benz has also said, when it's too dirty for the CIA,
21:58you give it to USAID, which for the record is obviously not the case. We all know when a job
22:02is too dirty for the CIA, you arm Afghan Mujahideen and train them in cell warfare with a stated goal
22:07of beating back Soviet influence in the region. And then, coincidentally, they team up with Osama bin
22:11Laden, who will later carry out the very attack Mike Benz is so obsessed with, he got birthday
22:15denim merch. And look, that is not to say there aren't small grains of truth underneath all of
22:21Benz's bullshit. You know, USAID was not perfect, as one of its former heads of global health wrote.
22:27It sometimes fostered dependency. It could be inefficient. Too much of its funding went to
22:32international institutions rather than local ones. And yes, its history does include episodes in
22:36which aid was bent to American military and political aims, including an incident in 2010,
22:40when it created a social networking service in Cuba designed to kindle opposition to the government.
22:45And I do not like the fact that the agency did that. In general, I like my regime changes the
22:51way
22:51I like my produce, locally sourced. But let's not pretend instances like that were anything other
22:58than a tiny portion of what USAID did. Also, as the people of Venezuela and Iran can attest,
23:03when the US wants regime change nowadays, it tends to do so pretty fucking directly. So it's not like
23:09any of those criticisms justify getting rid of the agency entirely. But to hear Benz tell it, USAID is
23:17basically the root of all this world's problems. USAID is one of the most disturbing organizations
23:24in the entire federal government. It may rank number one, in fact. Many people think they live in the world
23:30they think they live in. But in some respects, it's a carefully constructed Truman Show made up of
23:36movie characters around them produced by USAID. And what I mean by that is USAID has infected the
23:43institutional architecture of every aspect of American society and world society.
23:50Wow. The whole world has been Truman Showed by USAID is not something you expect to hear someone say
23:57on TV. At best, it's something you expect to hear them muttering on a city bus. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:02Yeah, they've infected the institutional architecture. You know what? I think I'm going to get off here.
24:05I know we're halfway across a bridge, but I'm pretty sure that this is my stop.
24:10It's frankly no wonder Benz took a victory lap when USAID was gutted, posting this image of himself
24:15celebrating at its grave. And at this point, you should probably see some of the damage that's been
24:21done because it is vast. As one expert put it, I think the best evidence that USAID works is how
24:28quickly people started dying when it went away. Now, it is hard to get exact counts on deaths,
24:33partly because these cuts have, among other things, halted data monitoring. But researchers have estimated
24:39over 262,000 adults and over half a million children died last year as a result of these cuts.
24:48Though I do have to tell you, Marco Rubio strongly denies claims like those.
24:53Anybody who tells you that somehow it's the United States, if we cut a dollar, somehow we're
24:57responsible for some horrific thing that's going on in the world is just not true.
25:01Are you standing by your contention that no one has died?
25:04No one has died because the United States has cut aid. No.
25:06Okay, so is he telling the truth there? Well, I would argue that the answer to that is the same
25:11as the answer to the question, are Marco Rubio's ears proportional to the size of his head?
25:16Which is to say, absolutely, demonstrably not. And maybe the best way to rebut that is to show you
25:23some of the specific places and programs that have been impacted by these cuts. And let's start with
25:28food and nutrition assistance, which have been devastating. For instance, in Nigeria, clinics which
25:33provided a malnutrition treatment for more than 300,000 children below the age of two was shut
25:37down at the end of July. And in Afghanistan, NGO warehouses were bare despite 900,000 children
25:42being in desperate need of treatment for severe acute malnutrition. And it is not just cuts to the
25:48food itself. The administration also disrupted the global supply chain that moves food for desperate
25:54people all over the world. And that means, even when the food's actually there,
25:58the ability to get it to people who need it can be gone. For instance, last summer, disruptions led
26:04to some food spoiling in a warehouse. The Trump administration is planning to destroy a massive
26:11amount of emergency food. Some 500 metric tons, or just over a million pounds of high-energy biscuits,
26:18meant to feed hungry kids in Afghanistan and Pakistan, will now be incinerated. That first reported by
26:26the Atlantic. We have a kind of a standard procedure that if food, uh, is expired, we, it will be
26:32destroyed. Federal workers had requested approval from USAID leadership to move the emergency food
26:39before it's spoiled. But their memos went unanswered. That is just maddening. Especially not even
26:47answering the memos. Leaving someone on read is always unforgivable. But especially when the text is,
26:53hey, shorty, one million pounds of high-energy biscuits about to expire, you up?
26:58And scenes like that are playing out all over the world. At one refugee camp in Kenya that had
27:03relied on USAID funding, reporters found mothers who'd had to choose which of their kids to feed,
27:08and pregnant women who were so desperate for calories that they ate mud. But it's not just food
27:13assistance that's been cut. It's estimated more than 2,000 health clinics have closed in crisis
27:18zones around the world. Here is what happened at just one. Before, the NGO Action Against Hunger
27:24ran this centre here, providing life-saving medical assistance. But it closed down in February, along
27:30with seven others in the area, when USAID stopped funding the organisation. Within just over a month,
27:3629 children in the district died of malnutrition and illness.
27:42We've never had such a high death rate. It was catastrophic. These are deaths that we could
27:47have avoided if funding had been maintained and we continued our activities.
27:51Yeah, it's appalling. And it makes it even worse when you remember House Republicans
27:56literally celebrated these cuts with this shit.
28:05Yeah, it's true. You are killing a lot of people in Africa, you jib-jabbed fucks.
28:09The point is, these cuts have cost lives. And perhaps one of the clearest examples of this
28:16concerns PEPFAR, or the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief. It was created during the George W. Bush
28:22administration and is often described as one of the most successful global health programs in history.
28:27It's credited with saving 26 million lives and enabling 7.8 million babies to be born without HIV
28:33since it was created. It is as close to a miracle as this government has ever accomplished. If I had
28:40to
28:40say one nice thing about George W. Bush, this program would be it. And if I had to say two,
28:45I would go quiet.
28:48And while the administration will stress that PEPFAR still exists, it's crucial aid delivery
28:53mechanism has been severely disrupted. As soon as the cut started last January, critics were,
28:59clinics were forced to shut their doors, essential frontline health workers were furloughed,
29:03and community programs reaching the most vulnerable people stopped. And while PEPFAR was granted a
29:08limited waiver to implement urgent life-saving HIV treatment services, a lot got left out of that waiver.
29:15Because while, for instance, it allowed the prevention medication PrEP for pregnant and
29:20breastfeeding women, it didn't include it for anyone else, including those who were already on it.
29:26It also left out funding for HIV prevention more generally, and most programming for orphans and
29:30vulnerable children. And a major casualty of cuts to PEPFAR were locally rooted programs
29:35tailored to the needs of specific groups of people, like specialized clinics for sex workers,
29:40men who have sex with men, and people who inject drugs. And infuriatingly, to some Republicans,
29:46that seemed to be sort of the point.
29:48This stuff about PEPFAR, oh my god, you're gonna destroy the world. Now there's a part of PEPFAR
29:55that deals with money for life-saving care, isn't it?
29:59Absolutely.
30:00And there's a part of PEPFAR that you look at it, and you want to say, pass me the sick
30:06bucket.
30:08Isn't there?
30:09Yes, sir.
30:09And you're getting rid of the sick bucket stuff.
30:13Yes, sir.
30:14You're getting rid of $5.5 million to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer,
30:21and intersex advocacy in Uganda, aren't you?
30:25Yes, sir.
30:26I can't believe we're arguing about this. I can't believe we're arguing about this.
30:32Wow, that is some pretty homophobic stuff coming from a man wearing the single
30:37cuntiest pair of glasses I think I've ever seen. Also, for what it's worth, if anything is going
30:43to make me say, pass the sick bucket, it isn't the critical work of PEPFAR. It is the memory
30:49rattling eternally around my head of Senator John Kennedy saying this.
30:54I can't wait to have your cock in my mouth.
30:58Well, that certainly makes one of us.
31:03But despite what Kennedy said there, cuts to PEPFAR are absolutely affecting life-saving care,
31:09and for a huge amount of people, and not just those whose lives seem to make him want to
31:14reach for the sick bucket. Even short disruptions to HIV care can be deadly,
31:20and have already resulted in stories like this. The cut-off of the medication of the HIV
31:26and all of these has really, you know, affected us so much.
31:31The eight HIV-positive orphans he cared for used to get their medicine from the local hospital for
31:38free. After the cuts, he was told he'd have to pay, and because he couldn't afford to do so,
31:43the orphanage ran out. Without this medication, 14-year-old Megonde Andrew quickly fell ill.
31:56The community he loved, gathering to say their goodbyes, burying him on February 21st.
32:04That photo is absolutely gutting. And since Elon seems to genuinely want
32:09pictures of what USAID does around the world to somehow prove to him that it's worthwhile,
32:14I hope a day of that fucking ghoul's life does not go by without someone sending him that photo.
32:21And, you know, who cannot claim he didn't know the value of USAID's work,
32:26especially when it comes to HIV? Marco Rubio. Because back in 2015,
32:31while running for president, he said this.
32:33Foreign aid can make a difference when properly used. And if you ever have a chance,
32:38travel to the African conduit. And you will meet people who are alive today because the
32:42American taxpayer funded antiviral HIV medications that kept them alive.
32:46It will not be easy to radicalize people who are alive because the American taxpayers saved
32:51their lives and the lives of their children.
32:53That's a really good point, Marco. And that is clearly a very different Rubio back then,
32:57one who seemed to have political aspirations beyond disassociating on a couch while J.D. Vance
33:01yells at Zelensky like a kid stuck at a sleepover while his friend's parents fight.
33:06And incredibly, I'm still only scratching the surface here. There are programs concerning
33:10treatment and prevention of cholera and neglected tropical diseases,
33:13clean water and climate resiliency, and many, many others that have also been butchered.
33:17But there is one more area I think is worth mentioning, and that is education.
33:21Because without funding for that, there are children around the world who no longer have
33:25a safe place to learn. And while these stories may not be captured when you hear about the numbers
33:30of deaths, that does not mean the impacts aren't horrific. Just look at this massive refugee
33:35camp in Bangladesh populated by Rohingya refugees from Myanmar. The U.S. slashed its funding by nearly
33:40half. And just one of the consequences is that many kids no longer have a school to attend,
33:45and have been forced into dire circumstances. There's been a sharp rise in girls being forced
33:50into prostitution, and UNICEF has estimated that cases of child marriage rose by 21 percent
33:55compared to the same period the year prior. And without school to attend,
33:58young boys like this one were suddenly forced to go to work.
34:0110-year-old Mohamed Arfan spends all day selling snacks, missing the classroom where he once felt safe.
34:09I returned home crying, and my family asked,
34:13why are you crying? The school has been closed. I'm crying because of that.
34:19I will no longer be able to study in the school. That is why I was crying.
34:25Arfan worries about being targeted by kidnappers or thieves while at work. But he has no other option.
34:31Yeah, it's awful. And honestly, I would not be at all surprised if Benny Johnson traveled there
34:36to post a thrilled video where he says that kid's snack stand is the best selfie spot in all of
34:41Southeastern Bangladesh. But if he does that, I'm warning you now, I'm taking down the electrical grid.
34:46Look, what this administration has done is beyond cruel. I haven't shown you anywhere close to the
34:52worst footage we had to watch putting this story together. And after seeing and reading about all of this,
34:57it is actually stomach-churning to think about coffin memes or gravestone Instagram posts or
35:03overjoyed selfie videos, because you have to be an absolute ashtray of a person to cheer this kind of thing
35:09on.
35:09Now, I should say, the Trump administration has announced a new approach called
35:13the America First Global Health Strategy. It's supposed to restart some forms of health-related
35:17foreign aid, though no other kinds, and only in some countries, with the central idea being
35:22that they want local governments to take more agency over foreign aid. And honestly,
35:26I genuinely hope it works.
35:29But we have very little in the way of specifics, and it's going to be difficult to implement,
35:33given this administration just detonated the decades' worth of expertise, goodwill,
35:37and institutional scaffolding that had helped them deliver the aid.
35:41They've also insisted, by the way, that any foreign aid should further the national interest
35:44of the United States, though I will point out that's exactly what USAID was already doing.
35:50Because even if you are a sociopath, and don't think saving millions of lives is a good thing
35:55in and of itself. You should know, the agency brought us goodwill around the world, while also
35:59tracking and preventing global disease outbreaks. Which as this man, who worked alongside USAID in Ghana,
36:05correctly points out, is sort of in our own interest.
36:09If we are able to prevent pandemics, it's a global good. Any infection that you can pick from Ghana,
36:15as an American citizen, you take it back there.
36:19Or a little mosquito on the plane.
36:20Mosquito on the plane.
36:21Mosquito on the plane. Now more than ever, it's easier to transmit disease across the globe,
36:25within a day.
36:27Yeah, he's right. And anyone familiar with the phrases,
36:30sourdough starter, or animal crossing, or Carol Baskin, knows how painfully true that is.
36:36And look, I know the Trump administration's constantly spitting out disasters. I really do.
36:42And I'm sure they'd like nothing more than for people to move on from this. But it is crucial
36:46not to let what they've done be forgotten. Because while the numbers of those hurt or killed by these
36:52cuts can be genuinely hard to wrap your head around, the individual people aren't,
36:58USAID was not perfect. But it was working miracles. And this government decided to retract those
37:03miracles on purpose. This is a man-made disaster. And when you remember these faces,
37:08I want you to think of these two. People like Elon, send me a pic, Musk. Pete, revenge,
37:14tour Morocco, bike, 9-11 jeans, Benz. Jeremy, please, define fraud for me,
37:19Lewin. And Marco fucking Rubio.
37:21Because in the future, I'm sure they're going to want to try and spin their work destroying USAID
37:27into something a lot more palatable. But we cannot let them do that.
37:31The very least we can do going forward is to remember what they fucking did. And now this.
37:38And now, winter weather makes meteorologists get a little defensive.
37:44I'm going to say this. I don't want you to hate me for this, but we haven't seen the coldest
37:49weather yet. Single digits. That is brutal. Sorry. Yeah, I'm reminded of that old saying,
37:55don't shoot the messenger. This is one of those don't shoot the messenger situations. I don't
38:00control the rain. I'm just telling you that it's on the way. People are going to start to hate me
38:03over the coming days because it's just going to get worse and worse. And there's more snow.
38:08Start. Someone just texted me there. I'm dead to them. Yes, exactly.
38:13Please don't hate me for this. I didn't bring the cold weather. It just happens to be here.
38:18It's mother nature's fault. It's not your mother nature's. It's going to snow. It's not his fault.
38:22That is not my fault. We are here to keep everybody prepared. We're not doing this on purpose.
38:27I've told you before, if I could control the weather, it'd be 70 degrees year round with
38:30just the right amount of rainfall when we need it. But that's not how it works.
38:34If I had the ability to make it warmer, I would love to. I'm just the messenger. I don't make
38:38the
38:38weather. I'm sorry. I'm the messenger. I don't make the weather. I don't make the trash. I just
38:43drive the truck. Please don't shoot the messenger. Just know that I got to tell you what the forecast
38:48is and it's cold. I'm going to let Caleb be the bear of the bad news though. It's not my
38:54fault. Is it my
38:55fault? No. Is it yours? No, it's not your fault either.
39:02Moving on. Before we go, a quick word about soap operas. I love them. They're a place for
39:08compelling decades-long dramas as well as occasional spectacular twists. Who can forget when
39:13Sheila on The Bold and the Beautiful released bees into Lance's apartment to sting him to death.
39:17Or when Skye Newman fell into a volcano on The Young and the Restless and I hate to break it
39:21to you,
39:21did not survive that. Or when on Days of Our Lives, Cassie Brady's body was discovered after
39:26falling out of a turkey-shaped pinata on Thanksgiving. Or when on Passions, Dr. Eve
39:30Russell got so drunk, she reattached her lover's penis upside down. Or on Guiding Light,
39:36when Reva, known as the slut of Springfield, became obsessed with a time-traveling painting,
39:40launching herself into Edwardian England, the Civil War and World War II Paris,
39:44all of which was years after she was cloned for unrelated reasons.
39:48And let's please never forget this moment on Days of Our Lives,
39:52when Stefano found Marlena tied up and helped get her free.
39:56Marlena, Marlena, Marlena, Marlena!
39:58Oh!
39:58Oh!
39:59You!
40:06You have interfered for the last time!
40:09I'm in.
40:13I'm in.
40:14I'm in.
40:15I'm in.
40:20I'm in.
40:22Oh!
40:24Oh!
40:25Oh!
40:26Spectacular.
40:28I'm not gonna give you any context for that. I'll merely point out,
40:32this is why we have TV. For breaking news and this. Honestly, if HBO said,
40:37fuck it, cancel everything, we only show Marlena transforming into the devil now,
40:41I'd roll over willingly. I might even start watching this network.
40:43The point is, soaps are fun. That may be why they are a magnet for celebrity cameos,
40:49from musicians like Rihanna, Snoop Dogg, Katy Perry and Smokey Robinson,
40:54to actors like Elizabeth Taylor, Dick Van Dyke and Betty White, to even future presidents.
40:59Yeah, Trump cameoed on Days of Our Lives in 2005. And fun fact,
41:03the infamous Access Hollywood tape was from Billy Bush visiting Trump on that set,
41:07a moment that changed the course of history not at all.
41:12And sometimes there are cameos from celebrities you'd expect even less,
41:15like this one from General Hospital a few years back. And I guarantee,
41:18you won't be able to predict a single thing about what you are about to see.
41:24Colonel Sanders is coming over. Here.
41:29You set this up. There's no way that's who's at the...
41:34Actually, my dear, it's wonderful to see you again.
41:38It's been a minute. That it has. I'm so happy you could join us. Come on in.
41:43Who's your friend?
41:45Lulu Falconeri. Lulu, this is the Colonel Harlan Sanders.
41:49How'd you do?
41:56It's just excellent. And you should know, the woman in blue there,
42:00Lulu Falconeri, is a journalist which becomes important during their conversation.
42:05I'm sorry. I just cannot believe that I am sitting with Colonel Sanders.
42:10How do you know each other?
42:11Well, that's a... that's a whale of a tale.
42:15The Colonel tells the best stories.
42:18Okay, I have to get this down.
42:22I'm afraid this is going to have to stay off the record.
42:24Oh, of course. This is just a conversation between friends. Right, Lulu?
42:31Absolutely. Yes.
42:34Well, it all started when a syndicate tried to hack into the KFC mainframe with plans to steal my secret
42:42recipe.
42:47It's perfect. First, let's just agree, these two are fucking, right? The energy is very,
42:53we've hooked up, we'll do it again, we don't want this other girl to know,
42:55but also we kind of do because that is part of it for us. Honestly, until he said the words,
42:59a syndicate tried to hack into the KFC mainframe, I thought they were about to have a threesome.
43:03And this, this isn't the point, but any current TV drama that hasn't shoehorned Colonel Sanders in
43:09are cowards. Throw him into Lumon. See what that shakes up. Give him an opioid addiction on the pit.
43:14Hey, Mike White, I am begging you, please check Harlan in. Now, often celebrity cameos like that are
43:22one-offs appearing in a single scene or staying for a week, never to return. But there is one individual
43:26who's been doing quite a bit more than that. And for a while now, here he is in a scene
43:30from General
43:31Hospital.
43:32You up for an adventure? San Juan? Hong Kong? Marrakesh?
43:37No, not adventure. Monica has declared Jason legally dead,
43:41so we're all going to be going to the memorial service.
43:45Me? Rest in peace.
43:46Now, for those who don't know, that is sports pundit Stephen A. Smith,
43:50playing a character called Brick. No last name, just Brick. If you are not familiar with Stephen A.,
43:55he's famous for having a million hot takes and being unafraid to voice them.
43:59We talk about the goat here, the greatest of all time, Michael Jordan,
44:02and you run in your mouth talking about you're going to be the one-on-one. Why would you say
44:06something so blasphemous?
44:07Y'all won two playoff games in 25 years, and you're going to sit up here sticking out your chest,
44:11talking about how it's the dawn of a new day? Y'all ain't nothing, okay?
44:15His very first move as the executive was to sign Lamar Odom, who was on crack.
44:22Who do you think is winning in a street fight? Stuart Little or Ratatouille?
44:29That's an easy one. It's Ratatouille. Ratatouille? No, that's them big-ass rats
44:35in the sewers of the New York subway system. You know, the kind that cats run from.
44:42If you only knew Stephen A. Smith from sports, it's genuinely disorienting
44:46seeing him in a soap opera. It'll be like suddenly seeing Alex Jones in the cast of
44:50Downton Abbey. This was not in God's plan for you. But here's the thing, that wasn't a one-time
44:56appearance. Stephen A. has played Brick since 2016, and he always acts the shit out of the role.
45:03The map isn't easily accessible, at least not without the proper security clearance.
45:11I'm going to say it for you, whether you want to hear it or not.
45:15One man, two women. Sonny, that's one too many.
45:22I personally vetted every single person that works for you.
45:26I guess I gotta question the source.
45:31What?
45:32It is amazing to me. For nearly a decade, Stephen A. Smith has been a recurring
45:36character on General Hospital, and we've barely heard anything about it.
45:39I'm guessing that is because people who know Stephen A. Smith aren't watching soap operas,
45:42and people who watch soap operas don't know who Stephen A. Smith is.
45:46That is actually how we found out about this. One of our writer's mothers
45:49was watching General Hospital one day. When our writer asked,
45:52Hey, that actor looks really familiar. Who is it? Her mother responded simply,
45:56That's Brick. The point is, for almost ten years, in between Stephen A. Smith
46:02picking fights with athletes, shit-talking politicians, and by the way,
46:05repeatedly threatening to run for president, which he should not do.
46:09He's also been playing Brick, the right-hand man to Sonny Carinthos,
46:12head of the Carinthos crime family. Over the last ten years,
46:15he's car-bombed an enemy's limo, tampered with evidence in a custody case,
46:18forged records to say that the Turkish orphan was actually a member of his boss's family,
46:22and just this past season, he did this.
46:29Sorry to interrupt.
46:32I'm gonna need to see some ID.
46:35Of course.
46:42Holy shit! Everything about that clip is insane!
46:47From the music, to the slow-motion shootout, to the gun, that much like Stephen A. Smith's acting
46:52career came out of fucking nowhere. And yes, that woman ended up being an assassin,
46:57but for the record, you can't just walk into a hospital room and ask to see a nurse's ID.
47:02That's not how anything works. And look, I will admit here,
47:05the reason I'm bringing this up is because I am jealous.
47:08I have a genuine love for soaps. Where else can an imposter nurse be shot in a hospital,
47:13or a woman be possessed by the devil, or Colonel Sanders have a kiki with his best blondes?
47:17Not to sound like an iconic tits-out mermaid, but I want to be part of that world.
47:22So, to all the soap operas out there, let me say this.
47:25I am officially offering myself to you.
47:28Write me a role, and I will be on your set so fast, it will make your head spin.
47:33I only have a few conditions. First, I don't want to play myself.
47:36I want to be a character, and I want his name to be ridiculous.
47:39Also, I want to do something juicy, like murder, or slapping, or being slapped,
47:43or being someone's long-lost something. And ideally, I'd like a dramatic close-up of my face.
47:47But in return, trust me, I will give my all to this performance.
47:51And to prove to you that I can do it, please, come with me.
48:08License and registration, nurse.
48:13Are you insane? I'm not showing you my license. I'm a real nurse.
48:24Got her.
48:27The point is, call me soaps. I am available, I'm willing to travel,
48:30and I want this more than you can possibly understand.
48:33And now, if you'll please excuse me, Colonel.
48:42Yes, John.
48:45Help me pack up this body.
48:48Gladly. It's not my first time, and it won't be my last.
48:52KFC's always looking for more ingredients.
48:57I know you are, Harlan.
48:59It is okay if I call you Harlan, isn't it?
49:01Only if that's what you want as your last words.
49:06Wait, what?
49:16That's your show. Thank you so much for watching.
49:19Good night.
49:22Now, this is a whale of a tale.
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