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00:01I
00:38Salute a magpie, secure your mirrors and knock on your wooden leg.
00:41It's Friday the 13th, we're live, and it's time for the last leg.
00:47Tonight on the show, America and Iran trade shots.
00:50We crack open a cold one at the Winter Paralympics.
00:53And our banknotes get a refreshing spritz.
00:57Plus, we'll be joined by comedians Richard Ayoade and Michelle Wolfe on the show that
01:02always laps up the news.
01:12G'day.
01:15Hi, I'm Adam Hill.
01:17Welcome to the last leg of the show that saw this photo released today of Andrew Epstein
01:21and Mandelson and thought, that's the hardest game of shag, marry, kill ever.
01:26As always, it's the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe, and the man who thought the
01:29Strait of Hormuz was the Middle Eastern equivalent of Queer Eye, Alex Broca.
01:39Loads to get through tonight, loads to get through, but before we do, every now and then,
01:43okay, so something happens before the show, and it happened tonight, and it always happens.
01:46When Josh and Alex come out here, I introduce them to the audience, and we always do a little
01:50bit of a fist bump.
01:51Yeah, or shake hands or whatever.
01:52And last week, we did, Josh and I did the, because we're cool middle-class, middle-aged
01:57men, aren't we?
01:58And then we got to Alex and did the fist bump, and I did, and I went, oh, you can't
02:03do it.
02:04No, no, no, I don't. I mean, mainly because, like, I am 41. Not a jock in High School Musical,
02:12but no, I can't believe, but you've been doing that to me for so long.
02:17Yeah.
02:18For so long you've been doing it, and you've only, you've only just noticed, like, you've
02:21only just noticed you're the only one that climaxes.
02:24You're such an unattentive.
02:26But no, I don't, I do kind of, I kind of, I pay, I do a little bit, it's not
02:31really an
02:32explosion, is it? It's more just a little sprinkle of, like, napalm, which is also what
02:38my Scottish mates call me, but.
02:40I mean, it all, to be honest, I mean, yeah, I felt really bad about this. I felt really
02:46bad about this.
02:46But then, look, you did feel bad, and I felt bad that you felt bad, because on the plus
02:50side, like, if you did it to Josh, and went, poof, and then you came up to me and went,
02:54eww.
02:56Fuck that.
02:58Imagine if I did that to Josh, I went, poof, and then I looked to you and went, oh, the
03:01explosion's already happened.
03:05So, I felt, so, I've had something made up for you, it's a little present here, I've
03:10had a fist made up, that when you give me a fist bump, a little explosion will happen.
03:16So, can you, all right, you ready?
03:18Okay, I hope this is going to work, ready?
03:20One, two, three.
03:21Whoa!
03:24We made the explosion.
03:29It doesn't stop.
03:31You look like you've wanked off a troll now.
03:35But, am I allowed to keep this?
03:36Yeah.
03:37I'm going to have a good, bad after this show.
03:43All right.
03:46Look, we are live, as Penny Mordaunt found out last week.
03:52So, you can send any questions you want to ask us about the news.
03:55Instagram, the hashtags, is it okay?
03:57WhatsApp, the number's 07956175908.
04:00You can scan the QR code on your screen.
04:02For example, is it okay that the Bank of England is going to replace historical figures with images
04:07of U.K. wildlife on its next series of banknotes, and it's going to let the public choose which animals?
04:14No!
04:15Because if I know the British public, those animals will be Peppa Pig, Gromit, and a fox eating a nappy
04:20out of a bin.
04:22Before you know it, all paper money will be called Notey McNoteface.
04:26So, they've gone for animals, haven't they?
04:29That's what they're going to put on.
04:30Is it basically because they're worried now with people, you don't know who's going to get cancelled anymore in the
04:35future?
04:35So, they think they're safe going with animals, but you wait until they find out that there's a squirrel named
04:41in the Epstein files.
04:45Nigel Farage spoke out about that this week, and a lot of people have, blaming Wokery or PC gone mad,
04:50but the truth is, there was a public consultation.
04:5360% of people chose wildlife, and Nigel Farage should know, you have to respect the will of the people.
04:59Lib Dem leader Ed Davey was also up in arms, although his message seemed more accidentally comedic.
05:05Winston Churchill helped save our country and the whole of Europe from fascism.
05:11He deserves better than being replaced by a badger.
05:20Guys, the next bit is, replace him with two badgers.
05:24In a long coat, like they're going to the cinema.
05:28Look, it's not like Winston Churchill's being erased from history.
05:31He's still remembered by the war rooms, the statue in Parliament Square, the dog in the adverts.
05:38Look, we thought we'd do something different tonight.
05:40We've got a comedian and illustrator of the best-selling Adam Kay books, Henry Packer here, and he's going to
05:45draw a banknote throughout the show tonight.
05:49Henry, thank you so much for being here.
05:50Absolute pleasure.
05:51Can we start, though, with my suggestion, a quick illustration of a fox eating a nappy out of a bin?
05:57OK. A fox eating a nappy out of a bin? OK. Let's do it.
06:03So, start with the nose. This is a classic UK fox.
06:07Yep.
06:09OK, so that's the gob.
06:11Oh, this has changed into a very different show, hasn't it?
06:14The triangular ears, the key feature.
06:17Well, that is a good fox, isn't it?
06:19And the nappy.
06:19Yep.
06:20So, it's out of a bin. Right, so, as an illustrator, we tend to go for the old-school bins.
06:25It's the, um...
06:28Oh, lovely. Yeah, I'll put it on there.
06:30It's a classic, yeah.
06:32So, a soiled nappy?
06:34Yeah, of course.
06:36Who throws out a clean nappy?
06:39Fair do. Level of soiling?
06:41Oh, no.
06:45Oh, Brooker on a Saturday morning.
06:48Brooker on a Saturday night, OK.
06:50OK, so that's a really, really deeply heavy soil.
06:53Yeah, perfect, lovely.
06:54There's some dripping going down the side of the bin.
06:55OK, um...
06:56Right, so the fox...
06:58OK, oh, yes, for the fox, um...
07:00Do you want it on a stepladder?
07:02To be, um...
07:04To be able to reach the...
07:05Or high heels, that's the choice.
07:07Well, can it be both?
07:09I've never done that before, but let's try it, yeah.
07:11So, the front legs are on a stepladder.
07:14Yeah.
07:14Imagine people just tuning in, thinking,
07:16Alex Brooker's got better, ain't he?
07:20OK, we've got the classic tail, obviously.
07:23Yep, lovely.
07:23And the rear legs in a nice pair of, um...
07:29Nice, quite sexy...
07:30Oh, lovely, yep.
07:32Sexy high heels.
07:34And, um...
07:35Just as an illustrator, I'm legally bound, if I draw a bin,
07:38to draw a, uh...
07:39fish skeleton...
07:41sticking out of it, and a banana skin in the foreground.
07:44Also, here's just some shit UK weather.
07:49And, um...
07:50Yeah.
07:51There you go.
07:53That's...
07:53I mean, for me, that's the fiver.
07:55Oh, right.
08:02Throughout the show, Henry's gonna be creating a pound note
08:05based on, uh, whatever we talk about in the show, basically.
08:08Yep.
08:08Whatever comes up, it's gonna go on the note.
08:10Um...
08:10Thank you, Henry.
08:11Alright, let's get into the big story now.
08:13Joe said,
08:13Is it okay that the chaotic war has continued between US, Israel and Iran?
08:17Good luck, Henry.
08:22Uh...
08:22This week, America and Israel continued to take Iran and Lebanon.
08:26Meanwhile, Iran fired missiles at everything in sight.
08:28It kind of feels like Iran right now is basically the kid at school
08:32in a fight who just does this.
08:34To try and take everyone out.
08:36It's really hard to do without hitting the desk.
08:38Um...
08:39Iran are hoping they can cause enough disruption to the world's energy supplies
08:42that they can stop America and Israel from attacking them.
08:45Now, they can do this because 20% of the world's oil and gas supplies
08:49pass through something called the Strait of Hormuz,
08:51which is right below Iran.
08:53Supposed to...
08:53Oh, sorry, Josh.
08:54Isn't that just the start of EastEnders?
08:59Yes.
09:00You know what's interesting?
09:01As the bombs fell last week, they went...
09:02BOOM! BOOM!
09:05Oh, yes!
09:11APPLAUSE
09:11So, what I found out this week is basically,
09:13so, for the ships, the ships that are getting through...
09:16Yep.
09:16Basically, the way they're getting through to avoid being hit by Iranian missiles,
09:20what they're saying is, is that they're saying they're from China.
09:23Right.
09:23So, basically, it's like, it's the right for them to pretend to be Chinese,
09:26but, Josh, you did it once when we went out for that meal,
09:28and we got...
09:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:29Don't draw that!
09:31LAUGHTER
09:34It's kind of mad to go to war with someone who controls something you need to survive.
09:38That's like starting an argument with the anaesthetist right before an operation.
09:41And I still regret it.
09:44Honey went in for an ingranto now.
09:47LAUGHTER
09:47Well, to be fair, you haven't got one now.
09:50LAUGHTER
09:54Petrol prices in America have jumped 20% since the start of the war.
09:58Donald Trump is clearly spooked.
10:00Watch this enlightening clip.
10:01The President subtly deflecting the blame for attacking Iran
10:04while throwing his mates under a bus that's now 20% more expensive to refuel.
10:08LAUGHTER
10:09In my opinion, based on what Steve and Jared and Pete and others were telling me,
10:16Marko was so involved that I thought that they were going to attack us.
10:22It's...
10:22It sounds like so playground, doesn't it?
10:25Like he started a war based on gossip.
10:28It's like, yes, Jared's gone up to him and gone,
10:29by the way, Donald, um, the Isle of Toller reckons he can have you.
10:33LAUGHTER
10:33Also, he says you drive a girl... you ride a girl's bike.
10:36LAUGHTER
10:37Yeah, I mean, World War I may have started with the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.
10:40World War III might start because of Jared Stephen Peat.
10:44LAUGHTER
10:46There's three guys in your chat group whose videos you don't want to open at work.
10:49LAUGHTER
10:49Or they're the three presenters of the Australian Last League.
10:53LAUGHTER
10:53And you're still bitter about them getting the job on you.
10:56LAUGHTER
10:56I, when I heard this clip, I heard something different to everyone else.
10:59Yep.
10:59I think he's blaming the war on former Liverpool captain Stephen Gerrard.
11:05LAUGHTER
11:05Look, watch again.
11:06OK.
11:06I've watched it quite a lot today.
11:08Yep.
11:08My opinion, based on what...
11:11Steve and Jared...
11:13LAUGHTER
11:18I'm just saying it.
11:20Do you know what?
11:20Jamie Carragher was in his ear.
11:22LAUGHTER
11:24Stefan Honsho was giving him all that.
11:27LAUGHTER
11:28The war of memes continued this week.
11:30The White House released this truly tasteless video
11:32that made the war look like a game on Nintendo Wii.
11:35The White House released this week in The Blue atheist.
11:37Mercury reactions...
11:49Holy white!
11:56uno...mak
11:59Alienouber! Panj's
12:05back to the privacy.
12:05right and it's not accurate because if it was he would have let go of the
12:09bowling ball and hit the school next door Iran have hit back actually with one
12:14that's depicted Mario Kart but obviously Princess Peach isn't allowed to drive
12:19Iran did actually hit back with their own homemade Lego video this is I'm not
12:23making this up this is what they put out this explains why they think Donald
12:27Trump started the war they are totally winning the UK are also planning a video
12:45of their own but it's going to take four years for Aardman Studios to make it out
12:48of clay but it's going to be the best one oh my can't can't wait for Wallace and
12:54Gromot the wrong targets so everyone's asking what's the end game for Donald
13:02Trump well what are they hoping to achieve out of all of this this is a thing though
13:05not any time in history when when you go into the Middle East like when there's
13:08war and these wars are not over quickly yeah no one ever goes into the Middle
13:13East for a quick one it's like a beer garden you know Middle East it's like a
13:17beer garden you know you go in there you say you're everyone it escalates always
13:21escalates and before you know it someone's like shots Jager bombs
13:28yeah was there in a third no I'll be honest with you it was a little bit sunny
13:35earlier and I was just thinking about beer garden before you know it the Strait of
13:40Hormuz is backed up the US military have reportedly the US military have been using an AI model
13:47known as Claude to speed up the process of choosing targets so what does it talk to
13:53them like when I talk to chat GPT I'm assuming yeah you think you're bottoming
13:57bombing the Middle East that sounds like an excellent idea so it's so people that
14:03the madness is a US using it yeah using AI to choose military targets yes at the same
14:08time as people are using AI to choose a present for Mother's Day yep imagine if
14:13they got confused and they just started bath bombing Iran why is the Strait of Hormuz covered
14:20in glitter and petals how long were you in that beer garden image of someone going Alexa take
14:28out the Ayatollah and it's like did you say kill the Dalai Lama no Alexa no no sorry to
14:34everyone at home whose Alexa has just gone off and the Dalai Lama on Sunday Iran announced
14:39they had chosen a new supreme leader Mojtaba Khomeini who will be taking over from his late
14:43father although there are now reports he may have been injured in the attack that killed
14:47his father might even be in a coma so we're hoping he doesn't wake up and say hello my name
14:52is Mojtaba Khomeini you killed my father prepare to die he released a statement this week which
14:58prompted the Telegraph to run with the headline Mojtaba Khomeini has called for Iranian unity but
15:02he may not be alive this whole war might come down to whether we run out of oil before they
15:06run out
15:07of Ayatollah's who do you reckon's next they're gonna get through them I've got an idea mm-hmm there's
15:12someone who's he's looking for a new royal title it doesn't mind hot places because he doesn't sweat
15:24he has to keep moving exactly you know his nickname the Ayatollah of Partiola by the way it was also
15:32revealed this week the new Ayatollah owns various properties across London they're currently available
15:36to rent on surface to wear B&B and from Ayatollah to loves a dollar uh Donald Trump has been
15:42handing
15:43out his favorite brand of affordable dress shoes to his aides and officials and a lot of them are
15:47apparently uh reportedly afraid not to wear them in front of him look there they are putting the bro
15:54into brogues has anyone wondered whether this might be like Cinderella and Trump has actually danced
16:00with a beautiful senator at a party and he's just trying to find out who who wore who wore the
16:05shoe
16:06and in fairness he's already turning into a pumpkin I'm looking forward to when he starts handing out
16:11his bronzer and then goes can I recommend a barber guys meanwhile the defense attache to the UAE has made
16:20the media this week mainly because of his name uh this is a lovely image of the sandy-haired military
16:25leader known as Captain Sandy Sandylands uh which sounds like he's been named by the British public
16:33the thing with Sandy Sandylands is once you have a bit of him somewhere you just can't get rid of
16:37him can you
16:38well we loved the idea of Sandy Sandylands uh and it turns out he's a slight fan of the last
16:44leg because
16:44we've been in contact and he's on a zoom chat with us now so hello is he frozen
16:52yes he has frozen that's not him but he has frozen oh has he Sandy Sandylands are you there
17:00no this does not auger well for our military technology
17:05he might have another call coming in in fairness to him you know when uh you know when we said
17:10Aardman would be looking after the British technology it does feel we're going at a slower pace than that
17:15I'm not going to say I'm worried right now but we're trying to connect with a British military
17:19officer in the Middle East and I just heard in my ear he's completely gone I think he's fine I
17:24think
17:24just to be very clear this isn't a sketch we genuinely were trying to get in contact it now feels
17:30like
17:30we're playing a prank yeah it turns out he's downloading a movie at the same time as he started
17:36let's move on and welcome tonight's guests one of them tries not to laugh the other one will make
17:39you howell please welcome Richard Ayoade and Michelle Wolfe
17:57welcome sir welcome to you both
17:59um all right Michelle I'm gonna throw it at you you're American what do you make of all this that's
18:03gone on in the
18:03in the Middle East and Iran and everything and Donald Trump uh well I just uh everyone says that
18:08Trump has uh dementia and I just I was wondering if he could get more of it
18:13not enough dementia happening does not I don't think he has enough he's he he seems to really
18:18remember who he's angry with yeah and uh now we're at war with Iran which could last a very long
18:24time
18:25it I mean these wars are never quick this war could go on for so many years that Trump wouldn't
18:30want to have sex with it anymore
18:35and now now we're you know we're supposed to trust our leaders and you can't trust Trump with
18:43anything you can't trust him with ordering an appetizer or picking the music or
18:49what fruit is ripe you can't
18:51trust him hey does that taste good hey does this look good you couldn't trust him with real estate or
18:58spray tan or makeup coverage and now he's sitting next to the nuclear codes and I think the only
19:05thing more alarming is if you went to your secondary school and Andrew was there
19:10the whole world's being affected obviously petrol people are stocking up on petrol Richard
19:15are you stockpiling anything I mean I'd be looking to uh stockpile cravats
19:22because you know I I want to remain sport it's very it's hard enough to get a good dry cleaner
19:27in
19:27peacetime so and these things they're delicate they're very delicate so you can hand wash them but
19:34they'll fade do they pass through you know I need to maintain standards someone's got to look like a
19:40Columbo villain after the apocalypse have you ever worn anything uh purely because someone gave it to you
19:47this has been taken from a military dictator
19:52hopefully I'll be able to travel there immediately after this joke works itself out
20:00uh now we didn't get to talk to Sandy Sandlin this is a shame no no but you've come up
20:05you've come up with the game based on his name yeah in honor of in honor of Sandy so we
20:09were we
20:10were inspired by Sandy Sandlin so we came up with our own name our own game which is about nominative
20:15uh
20:15determinisms so we're of course calling it that job's my name
20:19that's my name that's my name that's my name that's my name that's my name
20:35okay the gameplay is simple we're going to show you a job and a name and these are real or
20:41fake
20:42people you have to tell us whether this person really does the job to lock the answers in we've
20:47given you very simple props if you think it's true put on the trilby of truth brooke will show you
20:52that
20:53yep there you go you basically just hang on a second just put it on like that really yeah and
20:58if you
20:58think it's false put on the fedora of false sorry i love that you went i might need to explain
21:02how to wear a hat
21:05there you go put that on hillsy put that on hillsy okay there you go there's a fedora and whoever
21:09door of false leg oh look at that look at that there you go how's that lie me that's the
21:15most australian
21:16man i've ever seen in my life now there is a mystery prize for the winner okay here's a mystery
21:21prize
21:22there it is there it is let's unveil it's not much of a mystery it's a box let's unveil the
21:29first
21:30name brooker read out is there a urologist called dr dick chop
21:39i've seen this urologist
21:40i can tell you the answer is it's true
21:51i feel like that hat looked better on me than i thought it would
21:54is the president of the royal horticultural society called tim flowers
22:02i mean they're taking it more seriously than i thought alex i've got to say a lot of these are
22:09guesses yeah i would also i feel like there's a guy named tim flowers that would love to work with
22:15flowers but he doesn't wow i can tell you the answer is this is false
22:20but he is called keith weed
22:25that's also a urologist
22:27i like the way you made the joke and then flip the hat
22:38right then is there a man who runs a temp agency called steve jobs
22:46i thought he was dead
22:49true
22:52it's false
22:54but i can tell you i don't know if you know this uh he did used to run a company
22:57called apple
22:58come on you've heard of me
23:00final one one steve jobs is there
23:03another urologist called dr burns cox there it is okay wow i want to be true about how i feel
23:12about
23:12men a lot of times but i think it's false oh it's to decide i put on the wrong hat
23:17i think we've got a game play do you want to choose a different hat
23:23they're not both of you then
23:25no
23:25i can tell you the answer is i'll go with the true
23:32correct
23:33correct you are our winner
23:34and you win your prize which is a special pair of donald trump's shoes
23:40oh don't worry michelle you are not the only winner because everyone gets a shoe here we go
23:46go on josh you get a shoe you get a shoe please don't fire the lady in a wheelchair josh
23:51please don't throw wheelchairs at the same
23:55keep going here we go you get a shoe we'll have more last week for you after the break as
23:59we check
24:00out the action of the winter paralympics and we finally get to talk to sandy sanderson who i
24:04believe sandy sandalins who i believe is back on the line we'll see you in a little bit
24:21welcome back to last leg we're joined by michelle wolf and richard ioharty uh we have got in contact
24:27with uh sandy sandylands uh in the ua defense attache to the uae come in sandy sandyland yes
24:38thank you for joining us what has your fame been like this week it's been bonkers mate honestly um
24:44the uh the reaction to the to the x feed that the embassy put out has just been um been
24:49crazy seven
24:50seven million views you know i just hope that half of those actually listen to the message but most of
24:54them were uh um were interested in the name and uh and the location so yeah i i am the
25:00sandy in the sandy
25:01desert in uh in the uae and sandy is a nickname because uh it's normal in the army to give
25:07people
25:07nicknames are there other famous nicknames around you i think i think the one that stands out for me
25:13is a guy called jock stirrup so jock strap who was the most the most senior guy in the military
25:18and
25:19what i quite admire about him is a lot of guys when they get senior they start you know steve
25:22becomes
25:23steven and all that but this guy went right to the very top of the military in there and stuck
25:26with
25:26jock strap so i like that uh and listen how do you think alex brooker would go in the military
25:32oh that's interesting isn't it i was watching last week and uh and i saw his kind of shower chair
25:37so
25:37we we have a unit called the mobile bath and shower unit or we used to have in the pioneer
25:41corps so maybe
25:42he could bring his bachelor along to that but actually thinking about it if he's going to serve
25:46in the military then you've got to kind of go through go through it all and not bottle it and
25:49as an arsenal fan i'm not convinced he can do that hey ah sorry sandy we're losing you sorry mate
25:58um
25:58oh it's got my internet again doesn't it yeah so all my mates call me handy handelands anyway
26:05good luck out there thanks very much for joining us sandy sanderland
26:15moving on jemma said is it okay that peter mandelson still has his lordship uh so documents
26:20were released this week that led to questions about due diligence shown by the prime minister
26:23when he appointed peter mandelson as ambassador to the us despite mandelson's friendship with
26:27jeffrey epstein turns out the vetting process had all the rigor of bbc's eye player when it says
26:32do you have a tv license i've got away with that one before uh yeah because what would have stopped
26:39him getting the job being friends with two pedos sorry it says specifically criteria friends with one
26:46pedo or less sorry i kissed armor apologized for the appointment but if his vetting process could
26:51be represented by video it would be this famous one of a tottenham security guard any links to epstein no
26:58go through any links to epstein no go through any links to epstein no go through any links to
27:06epst yeah yeah you're right i absolutely loved your impression there but alex you said something
27:13on the show a couple of weeks ago that i think might be true because whoa whoa whoa whoa
27:19how dare you accuse him of truth could he have a point at the trilby of truth on brooker
27:26he's a possibly appointed mandelson to keep trump on side because basically epstein jeffrey epstein
27:31said supposedly quote donald trump doesn't have a decent cell in his body which would suggest
27:36epstein knew some shit about trump and if peter mandelson was friends with epstein then he probably
27:41knew some shit about trump too so maybe like you said send a wrong and to deal with a wrong
27:45and
27:46i know and honestly in a couple of weeks you're going to be comparing the war in the middle east
27:49again
27:50in the beer garden mandelson apparently asked for just 500 000 pounds when he eventually was sacked
27:56but settled for 75 000 which makes him the worst negotiator ever i just want to get out one tiny
28:03pun
28:03yeah because we had sandy lance yeah is that uh he instead of mandelson he should be kidding kiddelson
28:11it's not a good pun the whole time i always thought mandelson kiddelson right and i've been thinking
28:21about it the whole time you were talking i had to get it out of my body i'm sorry many
28:28people around
28:28mandelson have said similar things that's the whole point you set up richard and he can dunk
28:38all right that was also no sorry
28:43i love the way you're also both mirroring body language and green trousers together we're trying to
28:49out defensive one another how sandy were his curtains by the way he was hamming it up that guy
28:56bayton came with a club act yeah the tightest three minutes i've ever seen from the military
29:01i mean i've never seen camouflage looks work so well yeah yeah i mean he was basically the curtain
29:10we actually had him on before we just couldn't see it let's jump into the winter paralympics now steve
29:16said is it okay that after two fourth places neil simpson and his guide rob poth uh bring home silver
29:21yes it bloody is for gb here's the metal moment come on neil simpson one last drive into the finish
29:29he goes into the lead but by how much 4.96 seconds oh that was fabulous 42.52 on that
29:41slalom run
29:48it's worth explaining what's happening there yeah so like he's being guided that so the guy in the
29:52front he's his guide so the guy's visually impaired neil since he's visually impaired he's being guided
29:57basically by the guy with a blue tooth headset on in front of him he's basically probably going like
30:00left a bit right i mean i don't know the exact terminology i didn't know you're an expert
30:06what did he say if they want to go to the other side right a bit oh bloody hell but
30:11that is like
30:12the ultimate trust like i i couldn't trust any of my mates to do that they'd just be going left
30:19only
30:19fucking about it's a treat also you need to trust your bluetooth you don't want that to drop out
30:25and get to the bottom halfway down the hill and you just hear
30:28blue blue best impression of spotify i've ever heard uh shout out to nina sparks by the way the
30:38first british female para snowboarder um and also davy jive the first snow sport winter paralympian
30:44with motor neurone disease uh davy said was i fastest down the course today absolutely not
30:49but my race and battle is with mnd and today i'm winning that race well done davy
31:01uh gb in australia currently have one silver medal each but australia also have a bronze
31:05uh meanwhile the italian para ice hockey team released this brilliant clip of their training regime
31:33it's so interesting that in italy that's training but in britain that's a pip test
31:40uh jimmy's curlers didn't make it to the medal podium but they did provide us with some of the
31:43best self-commentary of the games
31:47right out there like mine's good walker's got the weight though joe how do you feel
31:53i love the dynamic between these two feels like i throw it like a bag of milk
32:01we've got those two on the line now so please welcome jason keen and joe butterfield
32:12no we don't no again oh sandy sandalands he's gonna pop back out i have done this show via skype
32:18as well
32:20away from peckham it's an hour to be fair to these guys they are at the winter paralympics so it's
32:24not
32:24surprising they're frozen we've got them we've got them jason and joe hello
32:33uh alex you want to jump straight in with a question yeah jason i just got like main question
32:38is like what do you mean by like how many bags of milk have you thrown in your life i've
32:43never heard
32:44that phrase wait a minute i'll just explain it's not the it's not the curling stone that's a bag of
32:49milk it's actually jason it is me i am the bag of milk because as you can see from many
32:55of the
32:55videos i am a rather large portion so with my break being high so i'm paralyzed from the armpits down
33:03so whenever i don't throw it well then it comes out almost like a bag of milk so me coach
33:11he like
33:11named it he was like keep a hold of your stabilizer properly throw it strong he says and stop throwing
33:17it like a bag of milk so when i let that stone go i was like they were like a
33:21bag of milk turned out
33:23it was pretty good stone to be honest uh and joe of course you were in rio as well you
33:28won gold in
33:29in rio in the summer paralympics how does this one compare well not quite as good as that since we
33:34didn't get gold but you know um it's a bit different the winter games is probably a bit more of
33:40a
33:40family it's kind of a smaller group of people and they've got a bit of a more of a bit
33:44of a culture
33:44going on um but other than that it's pretty similar and jason as your first paralympic games how are you
33:49finding it it would have been a hell of a lot better to get a bit of a bit of
33:54metal around the neck
33:55like that was the plan um but as an experience it's absolutely mental and like coming in like
34:02look at this do i look like an athlete next thing you know come on you're going off to the
34:07paralympics
34:08you've managed to make the grid somehow it's been unbelievable lately and uh it seems a shame
34:13that it's coming to an end and it's a shame that it came to an end a bit early for
34:16as well
34:17and are you aiming for four years time now hopefully yeah that's the plan like it's it's pretty special
34:24in the paralympic games we don't normally get to compete in front of a crowd and the noise in the
34:28arena in at the curling stadium there was insane the italians have done a good job so to come back
34:33four years time critical excellent well get out there get training and maybe next time you'll
34:37throw it like a semi-skimmed bag of milk just like a bottle of milk will do because if he
34:43starts solid
34:47round of applause for you guys enjoy the rest of your time there
34:52we'll have more last thing for you after the break as we unveil this week's mystery guests we'll see
35:07in a little bit welcome back to last leg we're joined by michelle wolf and richard aiwati uh michelle
35:14of course you're off on tour this summer yes the name of the tour best job in the world best
35:18job
35:18in the world oh my god i had so much hair oh that was before i had a baby i
35:24had so much hair look at
35:26this i look like a little boy get peter mandelson away from me
35:34and this just occurred to me you didn't end up being a wolf yes so in terms of nominated determinism
35:40no i mean how disappointing is that yeah i could have been a wolf and i'm a little boy instead
35:47it's good for peter mandelson but well but if you were together with peter mandelson you'd be peter
35:52and the wolf so oh thank you uh in that might be my favorite joke that's everyone was so impressed
36:01they didn't laugh yeah get your own out in medical news this week a uh surgeon in london has performed
36:08the uk's first long-distance robotic operation on a patient who was 1500 miles away in gibraltar
36:14uh here's some graphic graphic footage of the operation a historic moment 2400 kilometers away
36:25unbelievable we used a robot and a very specialized connection between london to gibraltar
36:34didn't fail at all the time delay between the two sides 60 milliseconds
36:42we need to get him on this wi-fi
36:47throw out your zoom
36:50bet you he's great on them grabber machines in the arcade
36:54just got a house full of the boo-boos
36:57it's impressive but if you are the patient and they go we're going to try a historic thing on you
37:02i'd go
37:03no i want my operation to be done i don't i yeah you can do it i don't want you
37:09to do it though
37:10the patient described it as a no-brainer which is ironic because it was a prostate removal
37:15that's not a joke oh yeah i would they have they're doing robotic prostate removals i just
37:21want them to do one thing for women's health just one thing like a better tampon or
37:26to act like endometriosis
37:33like diagnose women correctly tell them don't be like you're just whiny no it's a
37:39real there's fibroids filling my body we can't get the robots to do that
37:47it is appropriate that it was a prostate removal because um gibraltar is very much the prostate of
37:52spain um well no by that i mean it's it's hidden away at the bottom no one knows why it's
37:56there but
37:57it's a lot of fun to visit on holiday
38:02uh in ai news a woman from florida asked her chat gpt this week to suggest a place to live
38:09based on amenities that she put in that she was looking for she's now planning to move to torquay
38:13in devon yes because that's where it told her to go rightly so ai has finally reached peak intelligence
38:21i love this this florida woman is going to go there and she's going to she's going to see the
38:26sea
38:26there which is going to be very different from florida and she's going to be like is this where
38:31world war ii happened looks like the movies am i in dunkirk and look you might think florida is
38:39different to torquay but mar-a-lago is a lot like the hotel in faulty towers they're both owned by
38:44shouty
38:44dictatorial men who have zero people skills and don't get on with their wives although mar-a-lago has
38:49slightly more mentions of the war uh all right it's time to bring on this week's mystery guest
38:52michelle and richard have to work out how they're connected to the news can we have the mystery
38:55guest please
39:08so this is glenn glenn was in the news this week because he's going for his 18th world championship
39:14but what is it in can we have the dramatic lighting change please
39:21is it in being the quickest person to eat 80 grams of watercress being the man with the mintiest breath
39:29or being the person who can fit the most basil in their ears and nose
39:35um have a look at him have a discuss we will reveal the mystery guest after the break we'll also
39:42win the show by going head to head team with him in a challenge we'll see you in a little
39:46bit
39:59welcome back to last leg we're joined by michelle walton richard aiwati now before the break we
40:03challenged our guest to work out how this person was connected to the news can we have the options
40:07again please so glenn has been in the news because he's going for his 18th world championship but is it
40:14in being the quickest person to eat 80 grams of watercress is it being the man with the mintiest breath
40:20or is it c being the person who can fit the most basil in their ears and nose the floor
40:28is yours oh i like that
40:30yes well 80 grams feels a very specific amount with all due respect to the team i don't think they
40:40would have thought up and when when you say the team i need to point out it's josh and alex
40:49that come
40:49up with this yeah that's what i meant by the team so how very dare you i very dare and
40:58all of these are
40:58excellent album titles but i yeah i would say um 80 grams is very specific i it's just he doesn't
41:09look
41:09like he eats a lot of lettuce 80 grams isn't a huge amount okay i need an answer well you
41:18say you need
41:19an answer i think we need to discuss it for another 10 minutes we can i'm most concerned about the
41:26belly
41:26button on the t-shirt yeah okay we need an answer let me put it another way oh and now
41:32we've seen his
41:33all the class final answer well final answer uh it was cress okay i haven't even run that by yes
41:41yes yes
41:42glenn what is the truth i am as 17 times watercress eating champion
41:57where's your other 17 trophies so you've won and i'll give it back every year you get into it
42:04oh it's back in 2002 orsford where i come from uh started the festival to celebrate the spring
42:10where they get the first crop of watercress rugby boys do all the parking and helping out
42:16we decided after a while we got a bit bored in the afternoon after playing cock and ball and then
42:22uh
42:23we haven't got time we haven't got time that's not a world championship you want to win
42:29anyway we just saw we've got all this green stuff what we're going to do with it i said we've
42:32had a
42:32few beers let's try and eat as much as we can so you can eat the most of it didn't
42:37end up well
42:38that's it puking up and figures next day as well after a few more beers honestly um let's put it
42:46this
42:46well i wasn't constipated in fact i had a ring piece like a dragon's nostril oh okay um what does
42:52it what does it take to be a good a good cress eater is that a cresser yeah what do
42:57you need what
42:58do you what do you need to be a good well because it's peppery and horrible in a sense like
43:02that
43:03um i think having a big hands and a big bob get it down there quick and get rid of
43:10it and that's why i
43:11have the old guinness afterwards just get rid of it oh how many other people are you competing against
43:17this is worldwide you know we'll tell you what we're going to end the show by competing
43:21against they do they do heats okay we're going to have a conversation at the end of the show glenn
43:25thank you so much for being here we'll see you in a minute because we're going to have a conversation
43:33uh let's check in with henry packer who uh has been designing uh a pound note a 10 pound note
43:39i
43:39believe uh throughout the show based on what's gone on in the show yes indeed yes so yeah this is
43:44um
43:44sort of oh wow look at that actually would you two mind holding this thank you so i can um
43:49can you explain i can talk you through it okay yeah so um yeah quite a lot going on we've
43:52got um
43:53donald trump here um using a wee controller to control the war yep now he's on a sofa at
43:58home by himself i've depicted him with with quite weak legs um which is satire
44:07but of course it's actually more even more sinister than it looks
44:09because uh donald trump himself is being puppeted by stephen gerrard
44:16um i've got here we've got sandy sandylands part one that's sandy sandylands that's him um
44:21camouflaged against the persons um here we've got uh we've got hilsey as a as a as a kangaroo um
44:28with in your pouch you've got um got brooker and josh there and your feet feeding alex with uh with
44:35milk
44:36um and just sort of ruffling josh's hand it's quite a sweet and slightly sinister image at the same
44:41time yeah um then we've got sandy sandals part two this is a more realistic take uh just i was
44:48fascinated by how low down his camera was um and uh and yes and then on the nominative determinism theme
44:56um i've tried it for everyone for the whole cast tonight so we've got alex brooker here who's in a
45:01brook
45:04which is quite clever um we've got uh uh yeah we've got hills here as a hill yeah there you
45:11go
45:11with one leg which is actually more than the average hill so you're doing really well there we've got
45:14uh michelle wolf they sort of sort of hermit henry i'm afraid we have to wrap it up go through
45:20really
45:20quickly and we've got rich hard so you're i picked you as rich there's money there's money you've got
45:25one of those hot taps instead of a kettle because you're rich yes you're also ripped and you're hard
45:29so the hot tap is actually going onto your onto your arms and you're fine with it because you're
45:32rich and hard okay we need second name thank you so much didn't have time we're going to win the
45:37show
45:37with the quest eating contest thank you henry but before we do would you please thank our guest michelle
45:41wolf richard iowati and henry packer and my co-host josh witticum and alex brooker
45:54we'll be back next week with social media star gk barry and comedian jack d but right now it's time
45:59for this
46:11to live the grass yeah better than all the rest better than anything
46:30all right we're doing this we've got cress in front of you you've got to beat the world champion what's
46:37your best time 25.5 25.5 seconds three two one go
46:46what's your best time 25.5 seconds three two go
46:51oh
47:14oh
47:15oh my goodness is michelle going to win
47:19i'm going to be honest i think michelle has done this
47:25oh
47:30of course you know what you're doing you know what you're doing
47:43you're all right michelle thanks for watching the last league my name's adam hills see you next
47:47week for the next league
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