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00:00The following program contains mature subject matter and coarse language. Viewer discretion is advised.
00:14Hey!
00:15How come you're awake?
00:16Oh my god, night sweats. I gave up after the eighth one and came down here to look at all
00:19the photos.
00:20I remember this. I was nursing at the time, and I was losing my mind on mat leave.
00:24So I asked my boss, Michael, if I could come back to work and bring you.
00:28Wait, I went to work with you?
00:30Oh yeah, for three days. And you screamed all day, and then I screamed all day, and then the whole
00:35office screamed to send us back home. It was amazing.
00:37Well, I won't scream today.
00:41You forgot.
00:42No, I didn't.
00:44Yeah, I did. I just, I'm sorry. I'm so tired. Remind me.
00:46My media arts group is coming to your work after school today to learn about podcasting.
00:50Oh, oh.
00:52I'm screwed.
00:53No, no, no, no, no. You're not screwed. You're not screwed. Okay.
00:55Um, you're coming with your project group and...
00:59And try out the equipment?
01:00Yeah, absolutely. Sure. I got you.
01:03Thanks, Mom.
01:04Oh.
01:04Oh.
01:06A little slimy.
01:07Yeah, I'm quite damned.
01:09I feel it all. I feel it all. I feel it all. I feel it all.
01:19Come on, Grace.
01:21You can do it.
01:23And...
01:23Ah.
01:25Ooh.
01:25Ooey.
01:27Wait, Mom?
01:28Oh.
01:28Why is your boob in the waffle maker, and what are you doing with my charger?
01:32Okay, listen. So, Mom booked all her appointments in one day, yeah? So she doesn't get in trouble at work.
01:38So, basically, I'm getting some blood work done, I'm getting an ultrasound, and I'm getting a whip-boop, a mammogram.
01:43It's my very first one, but I've got to practice so I don't barf at the clinic, because when Mama
01:47gets nervous, she pukes everywhere.
01:50Maybe I should just come with you.
01:52Oh, open the door.
01:54Mama's got to put her sweet, tight Eggos.
01:56I'm joking. Just don't open the door until my boobs are away.
01:59Hi. Oh, uh...
02:01Hey, hey. Hi, hi. Hi, hi, hi.
02:03Hi.
02:03Uh, my name is Yule. I am, uh, I'm the new property manager.
02:07Hey, I pawned those tap shoes a month ago, so I know what is happening here.
02:10Is this Becky from 103 below me? You tell her. I'm just walking here.
02:14I'm not tapping no more. She took that away from me, okay?
02:16Okay, yeah. I'm just trying to tell all the residents that maybe they should keep their windows open
02:20while we work to control a, uh, smell problem.
02:24Oh, my sweet lord. It smells like a cabbage took a dump out there.
02:27It was a garbage chute. Is that all bunged up or something?
02:29No. Sadly, uh, one of the tenants on the seventh floor was found to be deceased.
02:36Oh, my God, that is terrible. He must have been rotten a while, because I can smell him seeping through.
02:40Yeah, well, most of the smell, uh, luckily, was contained to the ensuite bathroom.
02:44An ensuite? So that's probably normally, when those happen in those rooms, and those, those are nice ones.
02:49Is that, like, a two bed? Is that a two bed unit?
02:52Yeah.
02:52Well, in light of the tragedy, it's probably, um, it's probably available.
02:58Uh, he just died.
03:00Well, he didn't just die, did he, honey? Because we can smell him. Right? Honey, listen, why don't you go
03:04get ready? Go get ready.
03:05You will, is it? Uh, yeah, uh, like the log?
03:08Listen, I got a teen daughter sleeping on a goddamn sofa bed. I need a two bedroom desperately.
03:12Now, I don't give a crap about terrible odors. I'm an expert. We got a BO at a second-hand
03:17business wear. Do you understand me?
03:18Uh, maybe I, I should just give you my number.
03:20Yeah, okay, put it in me. On me. On, yeah, just put it on my phone.
03:24Okay, and, uh, then you can text me.
03:27Mm-hmm.
03:27And I can tell you when you should, uh, submit an application.
03:32You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna make you my number one priority contact.
03:35Understand? That's what exactly what I'm gonna do because I don't wanna miss a call from you.
03:39Now, listen, it's terrible about the man upstairs, but it really worked out in my favor.
03:44Can I ask you one more question? Do you get a break on rent or just to compensate for the
03:48creep factor?
03:49I don't know. I'm just new. Uh, but for you, I will, uh, ask for you.
03:55Appreciate it.
03:55Oh, uh...
03:57Oh. I didn't even know I did that, so...
03:59It's okay.
04:01Meh.
04:11Oh, shit!
04:16Why is there never any paper towel in this place?
04:24Hmm, I guess this'll have to do.
04:26Uh, what's with all these post-its?
04:29Reminders. I am not sleeping very well, and I'm experiencing a bit of brain fog.
04:33Oh, my God, I hear you, girl.
04:35Hey, any top tips in there about how to get rid of a corpse smell?
04:38Well, answering that makes me an accessory to murder.
04:39I don't, I don't...
04:40Activated charcoal. And no. Unless you're privy to the murder beforehand. Any chance of foul play?
04:45Uh, no clue, but saffron, and I really, really want that apartment.
04:49That sounds like a motive.
04:50Ugh.
04:50Where are you going with all that salad dressing?
04:53My salad dressing? My business.
04:54Anyway, my doctor, Dr. Brennan, we just, we just love each other.
04:58She ordered me a bunch of medical tests, and I'm gonna do them all in one day.
05:01And that way I don't take any more time off work, and I'll be back in time for the episode.
05:05Oh, okay, about that, actually, uh, Oliver's Media Arts Group is coming in today. I totally forgot. It's so not
05:11like me, and oh, my God.
05:12What?
05:13Today's episode is on breast tenderness. Ugh, I can't talk about that in front of teens.
05:17Julie, don't worry. Teens love me. You know why? I can break dance. Breast tenderness, hard to swallow, but you
05:23know what isn't hard to swallow?
05:25The robot, they love this. Vrr, vrr, vrr, vrr, vrr.
05:29Yeah, you know what, uh, that's okay. I think what I'll just do is bring them into the podcasting booth
05:33and let them fool around with the recording equipment.
05:35Not that it makes any difference to me, but did you run that idea by Larry? You know how fussy
05:39he is about his gear.
05:40Oh, well, you know, I have known Larry longer than you've been alive. I'm sure he'll be fine.
05:45Cool break. Later, boomers.
05:47Gen X!
05:54Hello, mamas. Get in here. Chris, you like outfits. Julie, I don't know what you like, but come sit.
06:03Okay.
06:05What if aging was a lifestyle? What if you could eat, sleep, thrive, shop, just be in a sisterhood of
06:15women just like you?
06:16What if science could take you there?
06:18Renowned scientist Dr. Shelley Felderplatt has a way to stop aging in its tracks. Flow with Glowy.
06:27Glowy has the potential to change menopause as we know it. And they want you to be a part of
06:34that.
06:34I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm a little lost.
06:36I'm lost.
06:37Glowy wants to be our official sponsor. They think there's a fun partnership with our podcast.
06:43Okay. But isn't Glowy the brand that poisoned Chris?
06:47Well, that was user error. Chris could poison herself with anything.
06:50That's true. I'm having a minute.
06:51Okay. So are you pitching that our podcast become an infomercial for Glowy?
06:56Oh my God. I love that one with them knives. Oh, they show it late at night and they cut
07:00a shoe and a nickel and afterwards they cut a tomato. You know that one.
07:03Let me get this straight. There's like a lack of medical research for menopause. So you're suggesting that we use
07:09that fact to exploit women who are suffering and therefore will try anything to feel better. Is that?
07:14You make it sound like a bummer.
07:17Hey, you know what? I made some calls too and I actually have a wonderful list of many, many potential
07:23clients that are very willing to work with us and they have real tactile products tried, tested and true.
07:30Look what we have here. Menopoo. An all natural shampoo for perimenopausal women.
07:34Yeah.
07:35Menoslax. Denim-like shaping pants for women of a certain age.
07:38Oh, here's one. Here's one. Menocola. Fun, non-sweet and flaxseed drink for the older gals.
07:44Yeah. I got six flavors. That's great.
07:46Oh. Menopause lawn care service. I didn't know I needed that. Seriously.
07:52Well, just think about it. You know.
07:54I am not willing to think about sacrificing our audience or the integrity of our very intelligent podcast in order
08:01to sell Mennojunk. I gotta go. I have work to do.
08:05I gotta go because I work with her.
08:09I'm just... I can't for one second.
08:12Wow.
08:16Mary! Just the guy I wanna see.
08:20Wow. No one ever says that to me.
08:23My son's media arts group is coming in today and I thought maybe we could take them into the booth,
08:26give them a feel for the equipment.
08:28Nope.
08:29But you love talking about your equipment and I am offering you a captive audience.
08:33Yeah. This studio is full of specialized equipment worth thousands of dollars.
08:38Okay. Well, I didn't think it was Dino Dig at the museum, Larry. I will be there.
08:42If any of those teens puts their dirty little teen fingers on my soundboard, I will be forced to call
08:47my very litigious union and they will come down on you like a sandbag on a C-stand.
08:52Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, okay, okay. I'll just figure out something else to do with the teens. No one's gonna
08:57touch your de-esser or your russ-deer or whatever it's called.
09:04How dare you try to upstage me with your flea market meadow crap.
09:08Hi. Sorry to interrupt. Am I interrupting?
09:10Yes.
09:10I just wanted to let you know that I found a doctor.
09:13Hallelujah. Yeah? Okay. And like a fairy godmother, she has granted me three lab appointments, which in an effort to
09:19have minimal impact on my very important job, I was hoping I could do them back to back.
09:23Thank you. I really appreciate you coming to tell me. It feels nice to be respected. You know, because earlier
09:31I felt, um, a little attacked by Julie. You saw that, right, Evan?
09:37It's like a shark.
09:38I wasn't expecting this glowy partnership to cause such animosity. You know, all I want is the best for us.
09:46Oh, yeah, yeah. Me too. So, no one's mad? Yay? Okay, we're good. Let's hug it out? Yeah? Okay, great.
09:54Here.
09:54Glad we could all work that out. Oh.
09:57It's too bad Julie hates that glowy partnership idea.
10:00I don't think that Julie hates the idea, per se.
10:03Oh, so you think there's still a chance she'll come on board?
10:05I don't know.
10:06You think and feel that she might still be thinking about it? That's a relief.
10:12I'll tell Glowy. Can you tell Glowy?
10:14Okay, I'll tell Glowy.
10:15Have a good time with your appointment. Be back at 3.30.
10:18Good luck.
10:20That's a relief.
10:24The studio is booked for 3.30, but I just saw Chris leave for an appointment. Will she be back
10:28on time?
10:29Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on in. Close the door.
10:32You would not believe the day that I'm having.
10:35Oliver's class is coming in. I can't talk to teens about sore boobs, so I have to come up with
10:39a whole new topic for the podcast.
10:41Ann, you got a stand on your shirt.
10:45Guess I don't need this post-it anymore.
10:49What the?
10:50Oh, what is this?
10:56Don't let Amanda see this.
10:59No, no, no, no. This is not a storage locker for minnow junk.
11:02Oh, minnow whiskey.
11:05I am so angry right now, I can't even see straight.
11:08You know, anger is your superpower.
11:11You're right, Jamila.
11:13Angry brainstorming, here I come.
11:15And a whiskey.
11:16Okay, um...
11:20Hi.
11:21Hello.
11:23Sorry I'm late. I'm Chris Fine.
11:25I'm just coming from a transvaginal on the old front hole probed.
11:28That was intense.
11:29And then I'm here for some blood work.
11:31And then later on I'm gonna get my...
11:32I'm getting my breasts smashed.
11:34Welcome to the Sausage Factory.
11:35Actually, I should say, because I'm a girl at the Taco Hut.
11:37Oh, you can fill that out over there.
11:39Over there. Okay. Nice talking. I'm sorry.
11:40Yeah.
11:43Julie, some teens are looking for you.
11:51Oh, no.
11:54Crap, I'm screwed.
11:56Okay, think, Julie. Think.
11:59Think.
12:04Okay, here we go. Pretty cool, right?
12:07Hey, Mom, you ready?
12:08Everyone's stoked.
12:09Um, there's been a slight change of plans, though.
12:12So, the equipment's off limits.
12:13What?
12:14Yo, what's up?
12:16I already told everyone we were gonna F around with the mics.
12:19Hey, don't say F, all right?
12:21I still got this. I'm a pro. Don't worry.
12:24Okay.
12:28Hi, everyone. I'm Julie. I'm Oliver's mom.
12:30Does anyone have any questions about podcasting?
12:33Uh, yeah.
12:34When do we get to use the equipment in the booth?
12:36Okay. Easy scooter.
12:38You can't just jump in there and start with the equipment, all right?
12:41First of all, you have to have very clean hands.
12:43Second of all, you gotta work your way up, okay?
12:45It's like Karate Kid.
12:46Have you ever seen that?
12:47You know, wax on, wax off.
12:49Whack off?
12:50Dude, your mom just said we have to whack off to use the equipment.
12:53Oh, I have a question.
12:55How does this very intelligent podcast make money?
12:59By providing intriguing content that our listeners can trust.
13:04Uh, merch.
13:05Oh, you mean like, um, something to sell to your audience.
13:09That is interesting.
13:11Something to think about.
13:13Okay.
13:14Does anyone else have any questions?
13:16Anyone?
13:16Nope. Not you.
13:21Well, hello.
13:22I'm here for my mammogram.
13:27Uh, you get to keep that on.
13:29Okay, sorry, thank God.
13:30I was just trying to show you how prepared I was.
13:33Okay, great.
13:35This shouldn't take long.
13:36That's where we're gonna...
13:36Yeah, is it your first time?
13:37No, no, no.
13:38It's not my first time.
13:39I practiced this morning on a waffle iron, so I'm pretty good.
13:41I'm ready to go.
13:42Okay, great.
13:42Let's just get you to stand in front of the machine.
13:44Just spray it with Pam first?
13:45No.
13:46Did you see what I did there telling jokes?
13:48You know why?
13:48Because I'm confident and I'm not nervous about this at all.
13:51Okay.
13:52Just a little casual time here.
13:53Just you and me.
13:54Okay, Denise.
13:55I don't know what you got going on here, but you know what here?
13:57I've got a couple of firm, healthy apples, real tight.
14:01I'm talking a red delicious.
14:02You ever sink your teeth into a crunchy red delicious?
14:04You know what I'm talking about?
14:05I prefer berries.
14:06Now, I don't know what these other women are coming in with.
14:08With them rotten apples, they want a bit of a squish,
14:10but these are fucking coconuts.
14:12Please, Chris, just stand in front of the machine.
14:14Whoa!
14:14Okay, that's fine.
14:15I'm gonna stand right in front of the machine.
14:17Look, they're gonna go in here.
14:18This is gonna close.
14:19How small is this gonna get?
14:21This small?
14:21Uh-huh.
14:22Smaller?
14:23Uh-huh.
14:23It's going smaller?
14:24Uh-huh.
14:24Are you kidding me right now?
14:25I have to fit my breasts in this.
14:27Uh-huh.
14:27And then it stops.
14:28You could fit my tongue in here.
14:29No, I wouldn't do that if I were you.
14:31I just did it.
14:31Oh my God, that tastes good.
14:32Okay, you know what, Chris, please.
14:34You know what, if I lube it up, if I lube it up,
14:36it's gonna slide right in there.
14:37You don't need to, you don't need to.
14:38Okay.
14:39Okay, both arms.
14:40You got this.
14:40Deep breaths, okay?
14:40I got this.
14:41Oh my God, Denise.
14:42Gonna get you to move in a little bit closer.
14:51No.
14:51No, you just...
14:53You just get it.
14:53And I'm gonna close it now.
14:55Big deep breaths.
14:56Try to stay still and relax.
14:57Oh my God.
14:57Denise, Denise, Denise.
14:58No, I gotta, I gotta pull out.
14:59Oh my God!
15:00Don't pull out.
15:01Chris, don't pull out.
15:02Just stay where...
15:08As you know, our podcast is about menopause, which is kind of like a second puberty, which
15:15is something I'm sure that all of you, some of you, maybe not you, sorry, can relate to
15:21that.
15:22So what is puberty?
15:24It's hormones, it's changing bodies.
15:28Does anyone want to share any stories about puberty?
15:32Uh, okay, well, you know what?
15:36I'm having a day.
15:38I can go first.
15:39Um, real talk, I'm tired.
15:42Today, I'm very tired.
15:45Moody.
15:45Oh yeah, I'm moody.
15:48And...
15:48Acne.
15:49I've got a big old zit.
15:51Anyone else relate?
15:52Anyone?
15:53Oh.
15:55Surprising.
15:55Great.
15:56All right.
15:57Uh, oh, hey, what about this?
15:59Does anyone ever have brain fog?
16:01That's a big one.
16:03We have, uh, excess sweating.
16:06I'm doing that right now.
16:07Struggle is real.
16:09Facial hair.
16:10I got a little mustache.
16:11Some of you do too.
16:12What else?
16:13Oh.
16:14Yeah, body odor.
16:15Bit whiffy in here, guys.
16:16Bit whiffy.
16:17All right.
16:18Problems with authority.
16:22Stupid Amanda.
16:23Okay.
16:24How about this?
16:25Oh, oh, oh.
16:26Oh my god.
16:27Mom!
16:28So embarrassing.
16:31That's crazy.
16:32That's so bad, dude.
16:33That's so embarrassing.
16:36That's so embarrassing.
16:37That's more painful than I thought.
16:40Oh, sorry.
16:41Passed out.
16:43Oh.
16:46Oh my god.
16:47Uh, did they...
16:48Did you get the other boob?
16:50Oh, I'm not sure.
16:52Uh...
16:53She's wondering...
16:54Have you got the other breast?
16:58Uh, no.
17:01No.
17:02She's gonna have to come back.
17:04Oh, you're gonna have to come back.
17:06What are you doing here?
17:08Uh...
17:09Oh, luckily your, uh, phone was in your back pocket,
17:11so we were able to reach your priority contact.
17:13My priority?
17:14Okay.
17:15Oh no.
17:15Oh my god.
17:16Oh no, oh no, oh no.
17:17No, no, no, no, no.
17:18They just...
17:19Hey, they just said you were in some level of distress.
17:22They did.
17:22That is so weird because I'm absolutely fine.
17:24Look at me.
17:24Hello.
17:25I'm fine.
17:25Bye.
17:26You don't need a ride home.
17:27Oh my god, are you kidding me?
17:29I brought my 10-speed.
17:30It's so nice.
17:30No, I'm gonna drive you home, okay?
17:32You just take as much time as you need.
17:34I'm just gonna wait outside.
17:37Can I help you up?
17:38Oh, it feels so good.
17:40All right.
17:40One, two, three.
17:43Okay.
17:43Okay.
17:44No, okay.
17:44I gotcha.
17:46Fan your hands out.
17:47Okay.
17:48Okay.
17:49The paper's on the...
17:50Okay, just can you put it in the...
17:51Put it in the...
17:52Okay.
17:53Okay.
17:55There.
17:56You good?
17:56Everyone's good?
17:57Okay.
17:58Okay, see you later.
17:59Denise, thank you so much.
18:00Thanks.
18:01I was in love with meeting you.
18:02Thanks, Denise.
18:02Keep to the right.
18:04Keep to the right.
18:07Oh, no, no, no.
18:08Our class is not dismissed.
18:09Teens, back in.
18:10We want the teens back in because I know a thing or two about tender breasts.
18:13Do you guys like break dancing?
18:14Because look what I...
18:15Hey, ma'am.
18:16This menopause city is rough.
18:21Julie?
18:23Julie, I'm sorry I'm late.
18:24It's just that I passed out and then I passed out again.
18:26And then I barfed a little.
18:28Listen, can I ask you a question?
18:29Do my tits look longer than before?
18:32It's over.
18:35Oh.
18:40I take it it didn't go well?
18:42It really didn't.
18:45You...
18:45I got vomit on myself.
18:47I'm just gonna have to borrow a shirt later.
18:48Mm-hmm.
18:49Okay.
18:49Totally.
18:50I could use a drink.
18:51You?
18:52Yeah, yeah.
18:53It's a good mix, vomit and whiskey.
18:54Yeah.
18:56Oh, Julie.
18:57I'm gonna lose my job.
18:58This is the third recording I've missed.
19:00Fourth, actually.
19:01We didn't record today.
19:02Oh, yes.
19:02You screwed up too.
19:03That's perfect for me.
19:04Mm.
19:05You have no idea.
19:08I feel so unhinged right now I don't even recognize myself.
19:11I had a hot flash and I showed my tits to Oliver's Media Arts Club.
19:18Well, Julie, good news is you got great tits.
19:21You got beautiful big boobies that he will be proud of.
19:24Okay, now look at this.
19:25I got a taffy situation going on here.
19:27They've never been longer.
19:29Okay, yeah.
19:30You do.
19:30You do.
19:30But this is about me right now.
19:32Mm-hmm.
19:33I think I finally have to admit to myself that menopause is kicking my ass.
19:40So I'm gonna do it.
19:44I'm gonna start HRT.
19:48Hey.
19:49Oh, my God.
19:50That was your day.
19:52Good.
19:53Really fine.
19:54It was fine.
19:55Just keeping it tight.
20:09Hey.
20:12You waited for me?
20:13Ah, it's no problem.
20:16It's a nice car you have.
20:19It's good.
20:19It's a low one.
20:20It's a low rider.
20:21It's very nice.
20:22I like your spoiler, sir.
20:25I like your car.
20:27Thanks.
20:38You okay?
20:40Me?
20:41Yeah.
20:42I'm good.
20:42I'm cool.
20:42Mom, do you want to go for a drive?
20:48Yeah.
20:51Let me get that for you.
20:57I think I smell.
21:03I don't care.
21:14Take me out.
21:18When I get home for the first time, I really don't feel alone.
21:25Or anything sad.
21:28Or anything profound.
21:32I just feel gentle like the drugs I do when you're not around.
21:40Gentle like the drugs I do...
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