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FunTranscript
00:00Fourteen! Fifteen! Sixteen! Woo-hoo!
00:08Another office chair spinning record. How do you feel?
00:12So bad, but so good!
00:15Remember, nausea is temporary, glory is forever!
00:18Give me five!
00:20You two got a sec?
00:22Yeah, we're just finishing up some work, but sure.
00:24Guess what I ordered that just arrived.
00:27If it's a fart machine, I already told you no.
00:31Well, I was hoping you were going to guess dartboard.
00:35Then I could say...
00:38Bullseye!
00:40Bullseye!
00:41I get it.
00:45I didn't know we needed a new dartboard.
00:47Oh, the last one got pretty chewed up, but that's what happens when you just can't miss.
00:52Yup.
00:54Old Deadeye Hawkins.
00:55The man never misses.
00:57He's...
00:57Pew, pew, pew, pew!
01:00Hang on a second.
01:01He's shown us his dartboard.
01:03Anyway, this is top of the line, customized with the tavern's logo right on the top.
01:08Oh, wow.
01:09That's so cool.
01:10Check it out.
01:11Oh, yeah.
01:11I can see it from here.
01:13It's a beaut.
01:14Anyway, I'd better run.
01:16I promised Steve I'd help him.
01:18Help him with what?
01:20No, right?
01:26She seemed a little weird to you.
01:28Nah, I didn't notice any of that.
01:30She can't stand to be in the same room with you.
01:33I thought you was going to talk to her.
01:34I am.
01:35When?
01:36I don't know.
01:37Probably when she can stand to be in the same room with me.
01:42Listen, I know men your age have a hard time talking about emotional stuff.
01:47Men of any age.
01:50Is Isabel important to you?
01:52She is.
01:52Then you need to get over it.
01:55Talk about not wanting to be in the same room with somebody.
02:00I know, right?
02:04You belong in Hat Beach Place.
02:12Ah!
02:12Spider!
02:14Spider!
02:14Spider!
02:15Wait, don't run over here.
02:16It may follow you.
02:18But I'm afraid of spiders.
02:20So am I.
02:21Okay, well, what are we going to do?
02:22Because unless that spider can make drinks, we've got a problem.
02:26Okay, where's Dakota?
02:27Oh, he won't be here for half an hour.
02:29By then, everyone in this place could be dead.
02:34Okay.
02:35Okay.
02:37Gabby, you can do this.
02:39Yeah?
02:40It's just, it's just a little spider.
02:41No!
02:45It was waiting for me in doing this.
02:48Ooh, welcome back, Gabby.
02:51Arachnids are so arrogant.
02:54Well, I'm afraid of spiders, but I hate a bully more.
02:59Step aside, Gabby.
03:01Really?
03:01You were going to kill it?
03:02That's what I'm telling myself in my head.
03:07I know.
03:08A little bigger than I thought.
03:10Okay.
03:11Um.
03:12Okay.
03:13Good, good.
03:24Is it dead or just really clean?
03:28It's stunned.
03:29Now, all I have to do is catch.
03:33Oh.
03:44I'm in the most sanitary way possible.
03:50You are a hero, Steve.
03:53Yeah.
03:54Come on.
03:55Yeah.
03:56Yeah.
03:59I've never been a hero before.
04:01It feels good.
04:05You know what, Gabby?
04:06Grab me a beer.
04:07All right.
04:08What kind?
04:09Root.
04:13Diet.
04:14No.
04:15Regular.
04:17This is the first time I've ever been attracted to you.
04:36Why are we having a staff darts tournament?
04:39I don't mean to sound irritated, but I just found out we're having a staff darts tournament.
04:46Isabella and Emmett need to get over being uncomfortable around each other.
04:49So, I'm going to force them together.
04:53I'm so not into this.
04:54Okay.
04:55Who's ready to take on the Sharp-Eyed Sisters?
04:58Well, actually, I'm already on a team.
05:01Gabby and me.
05:02I am so into this.
05:04She picked me over everyone else.
05:07Let's see that replay.
05:09Not her.
05:09Not him.
05:10Not him.
05:11Not him.
05:13Okay.
05:14Listen up.
05:15This is a doubles tournament.
05:17So, Isabella, you and Emmett.
05:20Really?
05:21Really?
05:22Really.
05:24I called Dakota.
05:26He's the only one left.
05:29Ah, I still consider it a compliment.
05:32Don't worry, buddy.
05:33I killed a spider today.
05:35Pretty sure I'm good at sports now.
05:38You know, maybe I should just be Gabby's teammate.
05:41Oh, my gosh.
05:42Everybody wants me now.
05:44Let's see the replay.
05:46Let's not.
05:48Isabella, you're going to be with Emmett, so why don't you two get us started?
05:52Want to go?
05:53No.
05:53Go ahead.
05:54No?
05:54Why don't you start us off?
05:56Okay.
05:56All right.
05:56Somebody throw a dart.
05:57Yeah.
05:58Come on.
05:58Here we go.
06:00Whoa.
06:00Oh, nice try.
06:02Wow.
06:03Way to go, girl.
06:05Oh.
06:06Hold on.
06:09Oh, yeah.
06:10Yeehaw.
06:11My turn.
06:12This board is hot.
06:13Come on, now.
06:14I'm picturing my mother.
06:19Got her.
06:20Ha, ha.
06:21I can skip therapy this week.
06:24Okay, it's my turn.
06:27Oh, yeah.
06:32You'd like to go first?
06:33No, no, no.
06:33You go first, because now I am the closer.
06:36Oh, my gosh.
06:38All right.
06:39Come on, now.
06:40Hey, better, better, better, swing.
06:44Now, watch this, Sakoda.
06:48I'll make sure to lift with my legs now that I have to carry you.
06:52Oh, man.
06:57Wow.
06:57I know you only did that to make me feel better.
07:00Yeah.
07:02Okay.
07:03No worries.
07:05We're just getting started.
07:07All right, Isabelle and Emmett, you're up again.
07:10Actually, you know what, Emmett?
07:11You got this.
07:12Don't need me.
07:18Nice try.
07:19All right, the term is not over yet, is it?
07:21I mean, we didn't have time to come up with a cool handshake.
07:24Now, come on, huh?
07:25Just, wait, what, it's not a job interview.
07:27Come on.
07:31Steve and Takoda win by default.
07:38I could tell when it left my hand, it was going to be good.
07:42It's like I was one with the dart.
07:46You missed the board.
07:49That's the first thing I missed all day.
07:52Remember when Bobby picked me over both of you?
07:56That was fun.
07:58Not as fun as when I killed a spider.
08:00Let me know if you see one, Takoda.
08:02I'll teach you how to do it.
08:05No, I don't kill spiders.
08:07My people frown on that.
08:09Wait, wait.
08:10Do you just release them?
08:11Do your people really frown on that?
08:13Because I say stuff like that all the time to get out of things I don't want to do.
08:18No, it's real.
08:19We don't want to give Iktomi any reason to mess with us.
08:23Wait, what are you talking about?
08:25Who's Iktomi?
08:27Iktomi is the Lakuta trickster god.
08:29He appears as a spider and takes vengeance on those who have killed his guy.
08:38Is it just spiders?
08:39Because I killed a fly last week.
08:42I mean, not on purpose.
08:43I like to sing when I ride my bike.
08:48Look, every culture has its own beliefs.
08:51I'm supposed to wear yellow underwear on New Year's Eve for good luck,
08:56but I refuse to let underwear dictate my year.
09:03Look, forget I said anything about spiders.
09:09You're not going to forget, are you?
09:11Of course I am.
09:12I can't even remember what the trickster god's name is.
09:15Oh, I do.
09:16It's...
09:17It's...
09:17It's...
09:17It's...
09:17It's...
09:17It's...
09:18It's...
09:18It's...
09:20It's...
09:20It's...
09:20It's...
09:20It's...
09:20It's...
09:21It's...
09:21I actually forgot.
09:24Quick.
09:24Grab me another root beer.
09:26Wait, are you sure?
09:27Uh-huh.
09:28Beer me.
09:37Tony!
09:45Hey.
09:48I'm writing in my diary about the darts tournament.
09:51How do you spell sucked?
09:54You know, it could have been a lot worse.
09:57Nobody left with an eye patch.
10:00By the way, putting me and Emmett on the same team?
10:03Very subtle.
10:05I just remember how close you two used to be, and it breaks my heart.
10:09Don't worry about it.
10:10If we want to work it out, we'll work it out.
10:12Oh, yeah.
10:13That's what two thick-headed people usually do.
10:16Work it out.
10:18Just leave it alone, Bobby.
10:19You don't know what you're talking about.
10:21Hmm.
10:22And how could we fix that?
10:23I know.
10:24You could tell me.
10:27It's this.
10:29It's all of these.
10:31What are they?
10:33Letters to Happy.
10:34Yeah?
10:35Although I didn't know his name or where to send them.
10:39Every Father's Day, I'd write another one.
10:42Dear Dad, I'd write, or...
10:45Hey, Daddy.
10:47And I'd tell him things about me.
10:49You know, ask him things about him.
10:51Did he have a dog?
10:53Did he like watermelon?
10:55Hmm.
10:55I told him I like rivers more than lakes.
10:58No.
10:59And wondered which he liked better.
11:01I'd draw pictures sometimes.
11:03Yeah, pictures of me.
11:06And I told him I wanted to meet him.
11:10That I really wanted to meet him.
11:16And I signed it.
11:19Your daughter, Isabella.
11:24And then I put them in the box with the rest of them.
11:30That's a wrong that'll never be made right.
11:35I'm so sorry, Isabella.
11:36I wished I'd have known.
11:38You didn't.
11:39Mm-mm.
11:41But Emmett did.
11:44And...
11:44I don't know why.
11:46I...
11:49I really don't know why he couldn't have told Happy to do the right thing.
11:55Just...
11:55Just do what's right.
11:58That's my problem with Emmett.
12:00Well, then tell him.
12:01Since when do you not tell people what you're thinking?
12:07What good would it do?
12:08You know, what's...
12:10Done is done.
12:20Oh, we got a big problem with the food, and you need to fix it pronto.
12:23What do you mean we have a problem?
12:25Mm-hmm.
12:26You need to tell me what the problem is.
12:28Oh, I will.
12:29When I can stand to be in the same room with you.
12:32Oh, aren't you clever.
12:33Mm-hmm.
12:35Look, you need to talk to Isabella.
12:37She's wondering why you never tried to get Daddy to stay in contact with her.
12:42People seem to have forgotten that I am not responsible for Happy's actions.
12:46No one thinks that.
12:48Why are you getting so defensive?
12:49Because all my life, I have tried to do the right thing.
12:52All my life.
12:54And suddenly, I'm the villain.
12:57Oh, Emmett, I don't think she thinks that at all.
13:00She just wants to know why.
13:08I thought I was protecting people.
13:11When she showed up, I was less than welcoming, and the person you protected was her.
13:18Yeah.
13:18So, if the person you're protecting now is happy, he doesn't need it.
13:25It's not him.
13:27Dakota, can you cover for me in the kitchen for a little bit?
13:31Oh, you got it.
13:35I was protecting me.
13:38But no more.
13:52Good morning, Steve.
13:54Is it?
13:54Is it a good morning?
13:56Is it?
13:58Well, it was.
14:00First, I lost my keys.
14:02Then, I hit a huge pothole on the way to work, and now my car makes this gunk-a-gunk
14:06-a-gunk-a sound.
14:08My car makes all kinds of sounds.
14:10Just turn the music up louder.
14:14That's not even the worst part.
14:16Then, a bird pooped on my hand.
14:19Is this your trickster god?
14:22I think that's just bird poop.
14:24This isn't good luck.
14:26This is a curse.
14:27A curse that needs soap and water and a bird flu vaccine.
14:34Okay, Dakota, you have to help him.
14:37I don't know.
14:39Steve's very specific about his hand-washing routine.
14:44No.
14:44No, I mean, can you help him get rid of that curse?
14:49Well, Iktomi does accept apology dances.
14:52Okay, so there's an apology dance?
14:55Yes.
14:56You put your left arm in.
14:59Pull your left arm out.
15:01You put your left arm in.
15:03And you shake it all around.
15:07That's the hokey pokey!
15:09I know, Iktomi.
15:10You, Iktomi would be so proud of me.
15:13Don't worry about it.
15:14I'll handle this.
15:15Okay.
15:16I wonder what's next.
15:18A lightning bolt, a hurricane, a friendly clown in a sewer.
15:24Steve, all of those bad things that happened to you, they could have happened to anyone.
15:29Yeah, anybody Iktomi is trying to punish.
15:32You know, I wish I told you about Shyamalan.
15:35Who's that?
15:36The deity that blesses those who hunt spiders.
15:41Really?
15:41No.
15:43He's not a god.
15:46That's my favorite director at Night Shyamalan.
15:48All Iktomi is loving me.
15:52I don't understand what you're trying to say, Dakota.
15:55I'm saying, if I told you good things were going to happen, you would have noticed good things.
16:02But you told me bad things were gonna happen.
16:05And that's all I was paying attention to.
16:08Exactly.
16:09Does that help?
16:10Well, there's only one way to find out.
16:12Gabby?
16:13Yeah?
16:13Grab me a root beer.
16:17Are you sure?
16:18Beer me!
16:27It helped.
16:39Hey.
16:42These are for you.
16:45Flowers?
16:46Yeah, I couldn't find a car that said, sorry, I didn't.
16:49Help out with your absentee father.
16:53You heard about that.
16:55I did.
16:57Okay, I mean, I don't know if I'm ready to talk about this yet.
17:02Well, I'm not either.
17:04But we're going to.
17:05You mind?
17:10I thought you didn't drink red wine.
17:12Right now, I can drink rubbing alcohol.
17:19So, Happy and I only talked about you the one time.
17:22And he only told me then because he had a decision to make.
17:29What decision?
17:31What decision?
17:33How much did your mom tell you about why Happy didn't come around?
17:39Not a lot.
17:41She said she told him he had to go public about me or stop coming around.
17:45Oh.
17:46Well, that's because you were asking questions about him.
17:49And she didn't want you to feel like you were an embarrassment.
17:51Instead, I felt like I didn't mean anything to him.
17:54No, no.
17:57No, you meant the world to Happy.
18:00And he was torn up about him.
18:01That's why he finally told me.
18:03To ask what he should do.
18:06He did?
18:07Yeah.
18:09I told him it would destroy Bobby and her mom.
18:12So, your pain, Isabella.
18:16It's my fault.
18:20I mean, you've got to understand.
18:22You were just a name to me.
18:26And then you showed up and...
18:31You weren't a name anymore.
18:34You were this wonderful person that I hurt.
18:42And I am so...
18:44So sorry.
18:46And I don't...
18:47I don't blame you for hating me.
18:56Oh, that's not the reaction I thought I'd get.
19:01I think I understand now why you did what you did.
19:06If Happy had made different choices, then my happiness would have come at Bobby's expense.
19:11And that would kill me.
19:17So, you okay?
19:19I'm still mad at Happy.
19:21I get that there were no good choices to make, but he was responsible for that.
19:26Damn right.
19:28His obituary would have been a hell of a lot different if I'd have known all this was coming.
19:33Yeah, my letters sure would have been a lot different.
19:37Hey.
19:39Let's write him another one.
19:42Really?
19:43Damn right.
19:45Alright.
19:49Start it off.
19:51Dear Bastard.
19:54Not dear.
19:56Hey, Bastard.
19:58Love that.
20:00Because of what you did, you hurt a sweet, innocent child that didn't deserve it.
20:07And put your best friend, who is a good man, in a terrible position.
20:11That bastard!
20:12Bastard!
20:15Alright, everybody, clear out.
20:17Give me some room.
20:18You hurt the lady.
20:19Room.
20:20Ow.
20:21You got this.
20:22Alright.
20:26Cool handshakes are so last year.
20:28Oh, I thought we could figure one out for later.
20:31I'm so into that.
20:34Fly straight, little fake arrow.
20:41Great shot.
20:43Wish I had time to celebrate.
20:53I'm starting to regret y'all getting back together.
20:57Good luck, Steve.
20:59I don't need any luck, because now I have something even better.
21:03My new performance high-tech grip glove.
21:11You hit board!
21:12You hit board!
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