- 6 hours ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:01not because I actually lied but because of this thing on my wrist the Verity
00:06band mom was obsessed with science-based parenting so when my twin sister Emma and
00:13I were born she strapped these bands on us green light means truth red light
00:18means you're manipulating reality Emma's band always green she could literally
00:24cut up mom's designer dress and blame the cat and that little device would
00:28glow like a Christmas tree she'd say green light believe me I'd say mom I'm
00:37hungry and flash red light instant punishment and mom's punishment wasn't
00:43gentle no food locked in my room digital blackout no phone no Wi-Fi nothing she'd
00:52say the machine doesn't lie Stella starve now learn later I'm doing this for your
00:58own good after 10 years of this I started believing it too maybe I really was born
01:04wrong New Year's Eve everything changed my mom New Year's Eve everything changed mom
01:14was getting ready to take Emma to see the ball drop in Times Square and that's when
01:18the pain hit like a knife twisting in my gut I collapsed on the floor my skeletal frame curling
01:26into itself mom please it hurts the band flashed red she looked down at me disgust in her eyes nice
01:35try Stella faking sick to crash our night pathological she grabbed Emma's hand and headed for the door I
01:42wanted to scream I wanted to scream but part of me thought maybe she's right the band
01:49is red so I must be lying I must not actually be in pain sorry mom I won't lie anymore
01:56but the pain got worse
02:04the door handle turned for one second I thought she's coming back she's a doctor she'll know
02:11something's wrong hurry up the fireworks are starting Emma's waiting please something's really wrong I feel
02:20like I'm dying she glanced at my wrist red light flashing like crazy she crouched down grabbed my
02:27chin forced me Stella how long are you going to keep this up can't you just be honest stay here
02:34and
02:34think about what you've done honey should we at least leave her some food mom stood up food she has
02:42a
02:42stash of snacks she bought with stolen money she won't starve brushing off her hands like I was dirt
02:47lock the door when that band turns green we'll talk but but what soft parenting is why she's like
02:56this look at Emma her band is always green Stella's just a compulsive liar she needs discipline but my
03:04closet was empty Emma stole that money Emma ate those snacks I tried to defend myself once I didn't take
03:13it
03:13either red light three days locked up with nothing but bread and water the Emma peeked through the door
03:21made a face at me that's us we're gonna see the pretty fireworks the door locked the house went silent
03:30just me alone the pain was unbearable but I kept thinking mom's right the machine doesn't lie the band is
03:42red so I must be lying I'm not in pain I'm not in pain I'm not in pain I'm not
03:51in pain I crawled to my
03:52desk I had to write that was the rule if the band glowed red I had to pen a thousand
03:59word apology essay or mom would
04:01never let me out I am a liar I opened my journal pages and pages of apologies I'd written over
04:09the years but this
04:11time I wanted to write the truth my vision blurred I could barely see my hands shook as I wrote
04:19mom I
04:21really love you it really hurts why won't you believe me please believe me just once the moment I finished
04:31the last word the pain vanished just gone I felt light weightless I looked down I was
04:41floating and there slumped over the desk was my body motionless the Verity band still flashing red
04:50on a dead girl's wrist oh I'm dead Emma I heard laughter mom dad Emma coming through the front door
05:00tonight's fireworks were amazing especially that smiley face one just like our Emma mom's voice was so warm
05:10mom I'd never heard her sound like that when she talked about me I wanted to help them take off
05:15their coats that's what I always did mom I reached out to hug her my arms passed right through her
05:23body
05:24like wind she shivered why is it so cold in here is the heat off I stood there staring at
05:32my transparent
05:32hands right dead people can't hug the living should we check on Stella dad said casually she hasn't eaten
05:41if she finds me dead will she be sad will she regret it
05:56still putting on an act think I'll carry you to bed Stella you're 10 years old not five I screamed
06:04at
06:05her only two feet away mom I'm not playing I'm dead look at me touch me I'm freezing Emma squeezed
06:15past her
06:16held up her wrist with that smug little grin look my band's green Stella's is still red she's lying even
06:25in
06:25her dreams mom patted Emma's head that's my good girl ignore the liar let her stay there maybe she'll learn
06:33how to be honest dad peeked in should we at least put her in bed it's freezing put her in
06:39bed the
06:40parenting expert says cold treatment is the answer look at that red light she's still in full defiance
06:46mode come on we have to visit grandma tomorrow the door locked again I floated next to my corpse staring
06:53at that single point of red light in the darkness mom if you just stepped closer if you just touched
07:01my hand you'd know I was ice cold but you didn't still that night a rat crawled out of my
07:08empty closet
07:09I used to scream whenever I saw rats but now I just floated by the ceiling watching it scurry across
07:16my dead
07:16body it bit into my toe it's okay you can't feel it anymore it'll be over soon the next morning
07:25sunlight
07:25streamed through the window no warmth reached my body in the kitchen I could hear mom making breakfast
07:32the smell of bacon and eggs crept under my door my favorite but mom always said liars don't deserve
07:40meat so I only ever got steamed broccoli she was claying the pans extra loud on purpose trying to
07:47tempt me out trying to make me give in and apologize for things I never did in the old days
07:55I might have
07:56caved but I don't need food anymore Stella still hasn't come out that night Stella still hasn't come out dad
08:06asked reading his paper she is so stubborn she can eat or not I don't care Emma walked to my
08:14door and
08:14made a big show of sniffing the air then she screamed dramatically mom smells gross mom stormed over
08:26pounding on the door Stella are you an animal the bathroom is right there did you seriously go on the
08:33floor just to spite me I remembered being six I had food poisoning couldn't make it to the bathroom in
08:39time soiled my pants mom didn't help me clean up she made me stand in the yard pointed at me
08:46and told
08:46the neighbors look at this she's such a mess she can't even use the toilet by herself now she thought
08:53I was dirty again leave her mom said waving her hand like she was swatting a fly let her sit
09:00in her own
09:00and stink but dad stood up frowning that smells really bad I should check could be a dead mouse or
09:08something dad please open the door I'm right here I waved my transparent arms frantically dad's hand
09:16touched the doorknob still his phone was ringing dad's face went pale what the server crashed okay okay
09:26I'm on my way honey there's an emergency at work I'll be gone for a few days wait what about
09:32Stella he
09:33was already out the door if that call had come one second later I would have been found maybe then
09:40I
09:41wouldn't have rotted alone that afternoon mom took Emma shopping the house was empty except for my corpse
09:47when they came back that night loaded down with fancy lobster and gifts the smell had gotten worse
09:54mom gagged the second she walked in Stella are you trying to turn this place into a dump
10:00she didn't even open my door she grabbed duct tape and sealed the gap at the bottom you want to
10:06be
10:06disgusting fine stew in it don't stink up my house she patted her hands together satisfied then went to steam
10:14the lobster I stared at that sealed door my last shred of hope suffocated under that tape his phone was
10:22ringing by day three even the duct tape couldn't contain the smell mom was arranging fresh flowers
10:29trying to cover it up but the stench of death is unmistakable sweet rotten oily she cut a rose stem
10:39too hard a
10:40thorn pierced her hand she snapped Stella she grabbed a rolling pin from the kitchen storm toward my room I'm
10:49done
10:50with you you disgusting little brat time you learned what real pain feels like don't come in mom please
10:57I'm decomposed you'll be scared even though she never loved me I didn't want her to see me like that
11:05but
11:07she ripped the tape off jammed the spare key in the lock bang the door flew open the smell hit
11:15her like a wall
11:16she stumbled back dry heaving Stella what are you doing by day three she saw me still slumped over the
11:26desk back turned not moving to her this was the ultimate rebellion I'm talking to you she marched over
11:37raised the rolling pin but stopped she wanted to see my face first wanted to see my defiant expression
11:46get up the moment she touched me she froze through the thin fabric her hand didn't feel warm flesh what
11:56happened but momentum carried her forward she yanked my body stiff as a board toppled backward taking the
12:04chair with it and there was my face on my blackened wrist the Verity band hung lifeless my journal slid
12:14off
12:14the desk fell open at mom's feet the last page stared up at her mom my stomach really hurts the
12:23band is
12:23broken I'm not lying please don't punish me she saw me mom screamed not a human sound a raw guttural
12:34shriek that
12:35tore through her throat she stumbled backward slammed into the bookshelf a vase shattered but she didn't seem to feel
12:43the pain
12:43she just stared at me eyes wide unblinking no no no no this is makeup special effects Stella get up
12:52I'm not mad anymore stop scaring
12:55me her hand reached out trembling to touch my arm the second her skin made contact with my corpse she
13:02recoiled
13:03like she'd been burned that cold was too real Mrs. Lisa from next door 9-1-1 I heard a
13:10scream she'd heard the screaming
13:11when she saw what was in my room she collapsed in the hallway within minutes sirens police a medical examiner
13:19they pulled up the crime scene tape cameras flashed over my body mom sat on the couch a female officer's
13:27hand on her shoulder she was babbling she was faking she always lies the band was red machines don't lie
13:36I was just teaching her I was doing it for her own good no one responded they all looked at
13:42her like she
13:42was a monster the medical examiner crouched next to my body he muttered under his breath severe malnutrition
13:50organ failure this kid was starved for at least a month he carefully tried to remove the verity band
13:57but it had fused damn he cursed he had to use tools to pry it off even dead my soul
14:06flinched
14:14a cop picked up my journal put on gloves started reading mom's eyes locked onto that book suddenly
14:22she lunged for it that's her confession she admits she lied look she wrote it herself the officer pushed
14:30her back slid the journal into an evidence bag we'll determine what's true that's when dad got home he saw
14:37the black body bag being wheeled out on a stretcher saw the long zipper that sealed away my entire life
14:44his legs gave out he collapsed wet himself emma stood nearby sobbing in confusion she pointed at the
14:54blood-stained verity band on the evidence table why is stella's band black mine's still green see
15:01she held up her wrist the green light blinked cheerfully it was grotesque the cops started
15:10questioning mom in the living room she grabbed the verity band off the table like it was a life raft
15:16test it that band proved she was lying red light means lie i never abused her the machine told me
15:23i was
15:24just educating her the officer looked at her like she'd lost her mind ma'am the victim shows signs of
15:31extreme malnutrition that's discipline that's teaching her to be honest mom was shrieking now
15:39then she did something insane you don't believe me fine i'll wear it i'm not lying watch it'll be green
15:48she snatched the band still stained with my blood and bits of skin and jammed it onto her own wrist
15:55click
15:57locked the rubber pressed against her skin sticky cold she took a deep breath and tried to calm herself
16:07she needed to prove she was innocent needed to prove her parenting was right
16:12she held up her wrist eyes wild watch i'm rachel i'm stella's mother that's a fact absolute truth
16:23the red light exploded bright violent like a fresh wound tearing open mom's confident expression shattered
16:33she slapped the band like it was a broken tv what no i said the truth i am rachel
16:40she started talking faster panic rising in her voice it's broken the examiner broke it let me try
16:48again i never abused her i did it for her own good i love her the red light flashed faster
16:55and suddenly
16:56she remembered me 10 years old getting the maximum punishment curled on the floor biting my lip so i
17:05wouldn't scream is this what it felt like mom lost it completely she started screaming at the band spit
17:14flying why is it red i'm telling the truth turn green you piece of junk you're framing me but the
17:22red light
17:23it kept flashing like it was mocking her you're a liar you're a liar you're a liar the dad couldn't
17:33take it anymore
17:34this man who'd been invisible for 10 years who always stayed out of it he snapped he lunged at mom
17:42and slapped her across the face
17:44you monster you monster what did you do that was your daughter you treated her like an animal mom fell
17:52to the floor blood at the corner of her mouth but she didn't fight back didn't cry she just stared
17:59into space muttering not my fault not my fault then her eyes landed on emma cowering in the corner
18:08it's her it's emma emma's band was always green emma was the good one if it wasn't for that green
18:15light making me trust her i wouldn't have believed the red light so much this is emma's fault all eyes
18:22turned to emma that little princess we'd all protected the cop walked over gently removed the green verity
18:29band from her wrist took out a screwdriver pried it open right there crack the plastic shell split
18:38inside no sensors no chips no heart rate monitor just two cheap led lights and a watch battery
18:47the circuit was hardwired power on green light that's it this is a two dollar toy your younger
18:55daughter's band was factory set to always be green no matter what she said did or lied about it would
19:02glow green your so-called science-based parenting was a joke a sick biased joke dad couldn't take it
19:12anymore no mom suddenly screamed she clawed at the band get it off get it off it's red i'm not
19:19a liar
19:20i'm not but the clasp was jammed from her violent struggle wouldn't budge i can't get it off stella
19:27take it back i'm sorry it's all my fault this little bit of pain and she was breaking mom i
19:35suffered for
19:3610 years the cops needed evidence for charges and you better so they opened my journal in front of my
19:42parents february 14th sunny mom put celery on my plate i'm allergic my throat swells i can't breathe
19:51i said i can't eat it but because i was scared of making her angry my heart raced red light
19:58mom said i was picky lying made me eat the whole plate that night i threw up blood my throat
20:06felt
20:06like it was on fire mom saw it and said i'd snuck tomato juice that i was faking she punished
20:13me for
20:1310 more minutes mom's hand flew to her mouth she was shaking violently she remembered that night
20:21the officer turned the page june 1st children's day emma cut up mom's dress emma's heart rate is
20:29always slow green light i tried to explain but i was scared of getting beaten so my heart raced red
20:36light
20:38dad couldn't take it anymore this man who'd been invisible for 10 years who always stayed out of it
20:44he snapped he lunged at mom and slapped her across the face you monster what did you do that was
21:03your
21:03daughter you treated her like an animal mom fell to the floor blood at the corner of her mouth but
21:11she
21:11didn't fight back didn't cry she just stared into space muttering not my fault not my fault
21:19then her eyes landed on emma cowering in the corner it's her it's emma emma's band was always green
21:27emma was the good one if it wasn't for that green light making me trust her i wouldn't have believed
21:33the red light so much this is emma's fault all eyes turned to emma that little princess we'd all
21:40protected the cop walked over gently removed the green verity band from her wrist took out a
21:46screwdriver pried it open right there crack the plastic shell split inside no sensors no chips no
21:56heart rate monitor just two cheap led lights and a watch battery the circuit was hardwired power on
22:04green green light that's it this is a two dollar toy your younger daughter's band was factory set to
22:12always be green no matter what she said did or lied about it would glow green your so-called science
22:21-based
22:21parenting was a joke a sick biased joke dad could i laughed laughed until i cried turns out ghosts can
22:32cry too the officer turned to the last page of the journal her voice broke the handwriting was a mess
22:41clearly written while dying mom if i die will the band stop glowing red or if it turns green will
22:51you
22:51hug me then i'm not lying my stomach hurts so much like knives next life please don't make me wear
23:01the band
23:02please mom stared at the shattered pieces of plastic on the table that green light she trusted without
23:09question a cheap piece of junk mom started laughing her voice cracking with every sound but it was the
23:20laugh of someone breaking worse than crying fake all fake i killed my honest daughter and i worshipped a liar
23:30she'd lost her mind for real this time
23:35i left my death became front page news mrs lisa the neighborhood gossip posted everything online
23:44title girls starved to death by fake science band she described my corpse in detail the band fused to
23:53rotting flesh the internet exploded monster murderer she doesn't deserve to be a mother comments poured in like
24:04an avalanche someone doxxed mom our address got leaked people threw red paint on our door wrote death in huge
24:14letters dad got arrested too neglect failure to protect he wasn't there when i died so he got off light
24:23but his company fired him immediately to avoid the pr nightmare our family went bankrupt sold the house
24:31the car everything to pay legal fees dad couldn't stand living with that psycho anymore he took what
24:40little money was left and emma and disappeared emma was a bad seed sure but she was still his blood
24:49before they left emma tried to take her green band dad stomped on it why the hell would you want
24:55that
24:55piece of trash emma cried as he dragged her away my dad mom got out on bail the psych eval
25:03said she had
25:04severe ptsd and psychosis they left her alone in that rental apartment the one that still smelled like death
25:12her mental state deteriorated fast she started talking to me like i was still there and she refused
25:19to take off the red light band to punish herself she'd added a shock device to it one that delivered
25:26a jolt the second the light flashed red she said the small shocks were the only thing that eased her
25:32guilt
25:33she'd cook a whole table of food then talk to the empty air she'd pick up a piece of meat
25:47mom's heart is racing mom's lying liars don't deserve food picked up a remote one she'd rewired to trigger
25:57the shock on her wristband and shocked herself it hurts it hurts is this what stella felt i'm sorry
26:08mom got out mom started reenacting my diary entries i couldn't eat celery because of my allergy
26:15so she forced herself to eat spoiled food until she vomited blood then swallowed it back down
26:22i was locked in isolation so she locked herself in my old room lights off and bowed to my photo
26:29until
26:29her forehead bled over and over blood on the floor late at night she'd see the red glow of the
26:39band
26:39reflected on the wall to her it looked like my bloody eyes watching she scribbled in red pen on the
26:47back of
26:47my journal i'm sorry i was wrong red light means pain red light means love please come back and say
26:56it
26:56hurts one more time i'll save you i promise too bad i'm dead dead people can't cry for help
27:05eventually the state intervened mom's self-harm got so extreme she nearly killed herself that they
27:13committed her she ended up in a psychiatric facility she was the strangest patient there she'd found a
27:21red plastic ring somewhere and wore it around her neck like a collar her homemade band if anyone tried
27:29to remove it she'd bite them like a rabid dog don't touch my light stella's watching she'll be mad if
27:37you
27:37take it she developed a pavlovian response rachel time to eat mom would touch her neck then start
27:45convulsing screaming red light red light don't punish me i'll eat i'll eat even if the food was scalding
27:53hot she'd gulp it down burning her esophagus wouldn't spit it out she was reenacting my final moments
28:01living my hell on repeat mom started reenacting my diet years later emma grew up without proper
28:09guidance and with a trail of infamy behind her she ended up at the bottom of society when she ran
28:16out
28:16of money she remembered mom's still in that facility she showed up one day not for love for cash
28:31hey crazy lady dad's dead give me your hidden stash disgusting just like your dead daughter
28:40if you don't give me money i'll pull your tubes and send you to join her for a moment mom's
28:46cloudy
28:46eyes cleared she looked at emma and suddenly remembered that band that always green toy that decade of
28:56deception it was you mom's voice was gravel you lied you're the fake green light you killed stella
29:07give her back give her back the last shred of maternal love twisted into vengeance mom lunged
29:16grabbed emma by the throat die you should have died not her you help emma thrashed but couldn't
29:25break free from a madwoman's grip orderlies rushed in sedated mom pulled her off emma stumbled out of
29:33the room terrified they're all insane she bolted for the exit a truck plowed into her she survived barely
29:46both legs shattered beyond repair wheelchair for life a total wreck meanwhile mom was strapped to a bed
29:54staring at the bed staring at the ceiling tears streaming in her dreams she finally saw me i was 10
30:02again no band white dress smiling mom she reached for me crying with joy stella but her hands sparked with
30:14electricity the second she touched me i burst into flames turned to ash no she woke up screaming heart rate
30:24through the roof if she'd been wearing that band it would have been blood red eternal torment
30:31years i stood in the void watching it all mom in the facility emma in a wheelchair begging on the
30:40streets
30:41dad drunk and dead in some gutter i felt nothing no satisfaction just a flat dead calm next to me
30:54was
30:54an old dog buddy my childhood pet mom threw him out years ago he'd been waiting for me at the
31:01boundary
31:02buddy nuzzled my leg barked twice as if to say let's go don't look back
31:10yeah time to leave this life was too bitter nothing worth holding on to
31:18i floated to mom's hospital room one final time she looked ancient hair completely white
31:26frail as paper she sensed something her cloudy eyes focused on a point in the air
31:34right where i stood stella is that you her trembling hand reached into the emptiness mom destroyed the
31:42band i don't believe in it anymore come back please i'll cook for you no celery i'll buy you new
31:49dresses not
31:50emma tears rolled down her face i looked at the red marks on her neck from the homemade band i
31:58sighed
31:59reached out my cold ghostly finger touched her forehead sleep mom in sleep there's no pain
32:09a breeze blew through the room the old journal on her nightstand flipped open
32:14the last page my dying words stared up at the ceiling but below it in shaky handwriting were new lines
32:24written by mom during a lucid moment next life let me wear the band let me be the liar punish
32:31me
32:31however you want just don't leave me i stared at those words felt nothing too late repentance means
32:42nothing to the dead mom i don't hate you anymore but i don't love you either let's not meet again
32:52i turned away buddy wagged his tail in the distance a door of light appeared the gateway to the next
33:01cycle
33:01i looked at my wrist the phantom verity band still there even in spirit form i grabbed it it shattered
33:12into stardust i felt weightless free no red light no hunger no lies just freedom morning came a nurse
33:26pushed open the door rachel time for your meds no response she walked closer rachel's hand clutched
33:33the torn journal a single tear crystallized at the corner of her eye on the heart monitor the wavy line
33:40had gone flat passing through the light wasn't violent no spinning no chaos just warmth like sinking into a
33:49spring stream even the lingering ache in my soul the phantom pains started to fade buddy pressed into
33:56my palm his fur wasn't translucent anymore it was soft warm real this was the living breathing connection
34:05i'd craved as a kid come on boy i held his paw and walked toward the brightness behind me the
34:11old life
34:12faded like a worn photograph mom's final tear the red glow of the band blood on the diary pages all
34:19of
34:19it blurred dissolved i didn't look back that 10-year nightmare was finally truly over passing when i opened
34:29my eyes again i was tiny wrapped in soft blankets someone was humming a woman's voice gentle off-key but
34:39full
34:39of love her fingers brushed my cheek the scent of gardenias not the sterile hospital smell of my old
34:47mom not the cold clinical distance i blinked up at her she had kind eyes a soft smile she cradled
34:57me
34:57like i was made of glass grace is awake she murmured honey come quick our daughter just blinked a man
35:05appeared
35:05tall a little awkward but his face lit up when he saw me he touched my tiny hand with one
35:12finger
35:13his voice was deep warm hey grace i'm your dad grace not stella no weight no chains no lies just
35:24grace
35:25sterling a name that meant something light something cherished
35:30when i opened this house was small but clean cozy cartoon stickers on the walls plants on the balcony
35:40sunlight pouring through the windows warm on the floor i realized fast this family was nothing like
35:48the last one they never forced me to do anything there were no verity bands i grew learned to crawl
35:57to talk and when i was three mom made sauteed celery the green stalks on the plate triggered me
36:05i flashed back to choking throat swelling vomiting blood i stumbled backward shaking tears came without
36:14permission mom immediately put down the spatula crouched pulled me into a hug grace what's wrong you don't
36:23like celery i couldn't speak just shook my head sobbing dad knelt too rubbed my back hey it's okay
36:34you don't have to eat it can you tell us why their eyes were patient gentle finally i choked out
36:43it hurts my throat makes me bleed they didn't say the machine doesn't lie
36:49they didn't accuse me of faking they took me to the doctor immediately turns out i really do have a
36:57celery allergy mild but it can flare up with stress after that celery never appeared in the house again
37:05mom even added it to her phone notes grace's allergies celery mango she checked every time she shopped
37:14i lay in her arms that night smelling gardenias and realized this is what it feels like to be believed
37:21love isn't measured by a machine it's listening even when the story sounds impossible this house was small
37:28when i was four preschool had a health screening blood draw i saw the needle and lost it flashes of
37:36the band
37:37burning my wrist flashes of starvation i screamed clung to dad's leg the teacher sighed grace it's just a
37:46little poke all the other kids were brave i couldn't stop shaking don't punish me i'm not lying dad
37:55immediately scooped me up shielding me from the nurse sorry he said firmly she's got trauma we'll skip this
38:04for now and take her to a pediatric psychologist on the drive home dad didn't scold me for being weak
38:11he just asked gently grace did someone hurt you before i buried my face in his shoulder tears soaking his
38:20shirt mom band red light i couldn't explain it clearly but he listened nodded you've been through hell
38:32haven't you it's okay dad's here now no one's ever hurting you again from then on they took me to
38:41a child
38:42therapist regularly severe ptsd the doctor said my parents never complained never made me feel like
38:50a burden they played honesty games with me where i could say anything true or false and they'd just
38:58listen guide me gently toward the truth they bought me colorful bracelets but never forced me to wear them
39:06these are just accessories grace wear them if you want take them off if you don't we'll love you either
39:11way slowly i started to heal i could say i don't like this without fear i could say i'm scared
39:21i could say
39:22i want that i didn't have to worry about my heart racing being evidence of a lie i started sharing
39:31my
39:31preschool stories with them i cried when i didn't get a toy i laughed when i got praise i was
39:38finally
39:38just a kid a normal loved kid when i was when i turned seven i started elementary school there was
39:48a
39:48girl in my class annie sullivan she looked exactly like emma same eyes but her hair was shorter and she
39:57was
39:58timid timid scared the first time i saw her my heart clenched flashbacks emma's smug grin the green
40:08light mocking me i stepped back instinctively annie noticed she looked down voice barely a whisper
40:16i'm annie do you want to be friends her tone was so careful so desperate to please
40:24just like i used to be i glanced at her wrist she wore a cheap green cartoon bracelet my stomach
40:32turned later i found out annie's mom was strict too demanded honesty locked her in her room without
40:40food when she made mistakes one day annie accidentally broke the teacher's mug she was trembling too scared
40:48to admit it i saw her face red rimmed eyes barely holding back tears i remembered myself at that desk
40:56writing i'm a liar a thousand times i walked over took her hand annie it's okay accidents happen let's
41:07tell the teacher together she won't be mad annie looked at me shocked but mom says liars are bad kids
41:15being honest isn't about never making mistakes it's about owning up when you do and even if you tell
41:22the truth you shouldn't be punished for it if the teacher yells i'll protect you if your mom yells
41:28come to my house my parents will help i gave her the courage i never had she confessed the teacher
41:36forgave her told her to be more careful next time from that day on we were best friends when i
41:43i brought annie home to meet my parents she saw how warm they were how they didn't yell
41:51didn't punish over little things i told her you don't have to make everyone happy
41:57you're allowed to feel things say things one day annie's mom came to pick her up from school
42:07she saw us together and her face twisted she grabbed annie's hand did you mess up again is grace covering
42:15for you annie immediately looked down i stepped in front of her ma'am annie didn't do anything wrong
42:25she's a good kid you shouldn't always assume the worst she's scared of you the mom froze looked at me
42:34then at annie's tear-filled eyes her expression softened that night she called my mom thanked her
42:45you're welcome said i'd opened her eyes over time annie's mom got gentler started listening instead of
42:54yelling and annie she blossomed confident we learned about happy i watched her laugh freely one day
43:05and felt this warmth in my chest i didn't get saved in my last life i suffered alone in the
43:13dark but this
43:15time i could save someone else i could stop another stella from happening maybe that's the gift my past
43:23life gave me the ability to see pain and to heal it when i was 10 my parents took me
43:33to visit grandma
43:34in the countryside there was an old tree in her yard just like the one at my old grandma's house
43:41i sat under it watching sunlight filter through the leaves buddy dozed next to me then i saw her
43:48an old woman white hair hunched over a cane wearing a faded blue shirt the second i saw her face
43:57i froze
43:59she looked exactly like rachel my old mom grandma noticed me too walked over slowly her eyes were hazy
44:09but there was something familiar in them what's your name child grace sterling she repeated it softly
44:17grace that's a beautiful name she reached out like she wanted to touch my hair then hesitated pulled
44:24back like she was afraid of disturbing something sacred my mom came over studied her mom this is our
44:32daughter grace so she was my grandma in this life over the next few days grandma watched me constantly
44:41her expression unreadable one day she brought me a bowl of steak burger grace eat up this used to be
44:48your favorite i stared at the bowl in my last life i wrote in my dying breath i want to
44:55eat mom's steak
44:56burger and here was grandma saying those exact words tears blurred my vision this wasn't some distant
45:05wish anymore it was real right in front of me i picked up a piece bit into it tender sweet
45:14perfect
45:16grandma smiled a tired guilty smile that night lying in bed with buddy curled at my feet
45:23i thought about rachel's last words next life let me be the one punished just don't leave me i thought
45:32about her final tear the torn journal honestly i didn't hate her anymore hating someone is like locking
45:40yourself in the past chewing on pain forever this life's happiness had already washed away the bitterness
45:48i just felt sad when grandma stayed for a month then went back home before she left she held my
45:56hand
45:57grace live well be happy her voice was soft but heavy with meaning i nodded you too grandma
46:07i watched her walk away and i felt nothing no anger no grief the grudges of my past life were
46:17like fallen
46:17leaves blown away by the wind i wasn't stella anymore the girl trapped by a red light i was grace
46:26sterling surrounded by love free grandma at 13 i graduated elementary school got into the best middle
46:35school in the city my parents took me to the beach to celebrate i stood at the edge of the
46:40ocean wind in
46:41my hair salt on my lips i stretched out my arms feeling the freedom for a moment i saw her
46:49my ghost self
46:51floating desperate to hug someone but passing right through grace what are you thinking
46:59dad handed me a soda i smiled just i'm grateful to be alive to be with you guys
47:08mom hugged me silly girl we're the lucky ones buddy chased the waves barking joyfully
47:16i looked at my parents my dog my future i finally understood the suffering of my past life
47:24taught me to treasure this one the pain taught me what love really means i didn't need to prove i
47:31wasn't a liar anymore i didn't need to fear red lights i could laugh cry speak freely i had parents
47:41who loved me a best friend a healthy body a bright future this was the life i died wishing for
47:49that night i wrote in my journal not the blood-stained confessions of my old life
47:56this one was full of happiness growth love i wrote today i saw the ocean it's huge blue free
48:11i thought about my past self that little girl locked in a room desperate to be loved she'd never believe
48:19that i could be this happy mom and dad love me they taught me honesty and bravery annie is my
48:27best
48:27friend now she's confident and bright grandma's healthy she calls me often buddy's still a goofball
48:36always nudging my hand i don't hate anyone anymore i don't cling to the past those painful memories are
48:45like footprints in the sand washed away by waves but they taught me to cherish every step forward
48:53i know my old mom sister and dad got what they deserved and i finally broke free i found real
49:02freedom
49:03i don't want to see them again i don't want to relive that life
49:08i just want to be grace sterling simple happy loved that the ocean was beautiful life was beautiful
49:21i closed my journal looked out the hotel window moonlight shimmered on the water like a thousand stars
49:30buddy's breathing was soft and steady beside me i smiled this life i finally became who i wanted to be
49:40no red lights no starvation no lies just love freedom happiness and those scars from my past
49:52they became badges of survival reminders that no matter how much darkness you face if you don't give up on
50:00the light you'll find your way to warmth to freedom the road ahead is long but i'll walk it with
50:09courage
50:09courage with joy towards something even brighter
50:14you
50:16you
Comments