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00:01The greatest show on earth is about to begin.
00:07That is outrageous!
00:09And it's balls!
00:19I think I'm just gonna go
00:21Oh dear, oh dear
00:35That's a howler!
00:40Is this what Scottish football is about?
00:43Delicious!
00:44Oh what!
00:49Champions!
00:52This has been an absolute barnstormer!
01:01Hello and welcome to A View from the Terrace.
01:04The show that has Scottish football for breakfast, lunch and dinner
01:07and is still hungry for more.
01:09My name is Craig Telfer
01:10and I have got my knife and fork ready to gobble down this delicious meal
01:14and to help me are two very delicious young men.
01:17Up first, it's a man who's been described as the galoot of Gorgie.
01:21The maroon malevolence in Big Papa Fudge.
01:24It's Craig Andrew Fowler.
01:25I quite like Big Papa Fudge.
01:28And up next, this man has no middle name
01:30but he's certainly got plenty of middle of the road opinions.
01:33He's thin on top but he's thick down below.
01:35It's Joel Sked.
01:36I don't like being thin on top.
01:38Gentlemen, this is the first time the three of us have had a chance to hang out this season.
01:43It's great to be with you.
01:44This feels like a proper old school episode of A View from the Terrace.
01:49I miss Sean.
01:50Sean might not be here but we'll give our best shot.
01:53Enjoy the show.
01:59What a week of Scottish football we have just witnessed.
02:02In years to come, they will be writing books about what we have seen
02:06and I think we should contribute a chapter to it called
02:08The Winners and Losers of the Last Seven Days.
02:11And we'll start with the Premier Sports Cup semi-finals
02:15and we'll talk about the big winners from those games.
02:17We'll start with Motherwell St Mirren who's the big winner there, Joel.
02:20I'm actually going to go for Dan Alundaloo, Alundaloo, Alundaloo, Alundaloo
02:24who scored another screamer for the buddies at the weekend.
02:28This was a brilliant goal.
02:29I mean the ball breaking to him just at the edge of the box
02:31and a swivel and shot.
02:33Very powerful striking.
02:34This is a guy who had a lot of promise earlier on in his career.
02:37Lost his way, had a bit of injuries.
02:38He's come to St Mirren and not only did he score an overhead kick
02:41against Hearts and then he followed up with an absolute belting goal
02:44and a very dominant and deserved result and performance by St Mirren.
02:48It kind of feels like the missing piece.
02:49One problem of their season so far is the lack of goals in the Premiership
02:53but as he's come into the team and he's been starting,
02:56that's now no longer an issue and they've kind of missed that player.
03:00If Dan Alundaloo was the big winner from Saturday's Premier Sports Cup semi-final,
03:04talk about the winner from Sunday's match between Celtic and Rangers,
03:09Martin O'Neill.
03:10It was Martin O'Neill's drip.
03:12I think the youngsters say these days.
03:13They certainly do.
03:14It's Riz.
03:15Riz, yeah.
03:15It was a real aura on the sidelines.
03:19In his first spell, you're used to him wearing the rugby Celtic top.
03:24Rubbish.
03:25A rubbish look.
03:26Whereas this, he's got a vintage Adidas tracksuit.
03:29This is the Terrace Icons tracksuit top which is available in the Celtic shop.
03:34So I think that maybe he has been used as a mannequin.
03:37You know, they've just basically stuck this bit of drip on him and they've tried to encourage more people to
03:41buy it.
03:42Would you want to look like Martin O'Neill? Now you can.
03:44It looked like something you would wear by taking the Celtic badge off.
03:47Oh, please.
03:47Take the Celtic badge off at first if you could.
03:50We're seeing him on Sunday.
03:52It's like he has been given that tracksuit by his grandchildren.
03:56And even though it's a size too big, he's like, no, no, they bought it for me.
04:00I am definitely wearing this.
04:02Now, on last week's show, I said the must watch game taking place in Scottish football was when Ock and
04:08Lec Talbot were putting their 100% record on the line against Larg Thistle.
04:12And Blair Devine broke their hearts in perhaps the most audacious way possible.
04:17Do you think he meant it?
04:18You know something?
04:19Well, I mean, the clip itself is absolutely fantastic.
04:21You know, he picks up the ball and he takes the shot and it seems to it catches Willie Muir,
04:26the Talbot goalkeeper off guard.
04:28However, I can see what you're thinking because the way he's shaping up his body,
04:32it looks like he's trying to play a cross field pass, completely misses it and it goes into the net.
04:37He celebrates in the manner that he didn't mean it.
04:39Yep.
04:40Sort of too sweet there.
04:41I'm going to say that...
04:42Give him the benefit of the doubt.
04:43I don't like being churlish and being like, oh, I didn't mean it when there's no serious evidence to the
04:48court race.
04:49I'm going to say he meant it.
04:49I'm not trying to take away from him, just a question.
04:52Not only is Blair Devine a big winner, but we've now got a proper title race at the top of
04:56the West of Scotland Premier Division
04:58because Talbot missed the chance to overtake Troon at the top of the table.
05:02They ended up joining the match 1-1.
05:03Luke Main scoring a late penalty to dig out a point for them.
05:07So a lot to play for.
05:08So a division worth keeping your eye on as the season progresses.
05:12But let's stick with winners and let's stick with our prediction King.
05:15Joel's scared.
05:16Yes, because on the show a few weeks ago, Joel said that Adama Sidibe, when he got a pair of
05:23braces on international duty for Gambia,
05:25that he would then transform it to his club form.
05:28And that's what happened the last weekend when St Johnson defeated Airdionians 3-0 at McDermott Park with Sidibe scoring
05:36all three goals.
05:37I thought these goals were absolutely fantastic and it shows just that what he brings to that forward line,
05:43all three goals were incredibly well worked in that link up that he's got with his teammates.
05:46It's almost, dare I say it, a telepathic understanding where the ball is going and where to move to.
05:51Very well taken and it just maintains their lead at the top of the championship.
05:54And it shows that if you say enough nonsense, you'll get something right every now and then.
05:58You're digging out the one time he actually gets something right.
06:00You should be talking about all the things that you get is wrong.
06:03I mean, we are only on for 45 minutes.
06:06We are going to Palmerston and we are going to talk about a loser,
06:09and that's a manager who has had a meltdown after seeing his team chucking away points in the 93rd minute.
06:15Yes, we're talking about Peter Murphy, the Queen's manager,
06:18who was very unhappy after his side conceded a 93rd minute equaliser against Stenhousemuir.
06:24If we want to be higher up in this league, we need to be better at taking those chances
06:28because you leave yourself open to just a crappy little goal.
06:33There really is something to be said about a manager's post-match interview where your team has ruined his weekend.
06:41What was your favourite moment from his post-match interview?
06:43Oh, there was so, so much to devour.
06:46Like a greedy little hamster pecking away at a peppercorn.
06:50But there was stuff he referred to Stenhousemuir as a team that played for percentages.
06:55He referred to them as a team that looked to win set pieces.
06:58He complained about refereeing decisions.
07:00You know, and that just hearing someone use that kind of language.
07:05Oh, blissful. It's fantastic.
07:07The only thing missing from Peter Murphy there was calling Stenhousemuir a silly little team.
07:12Now, Lil, let's talk about a loser this weekend, Craig Filler.
07:15What about Hibernian manager David Gray under a bit of pressure?
07:18Yeah, you can maybe say some of the Hibernian fans are the losers of the weekend
07:21because there are some on Twitter, I couldn't believe this waking up on Sunday morning when I was having a
07:26look through, calling for David Gray to go.
07:28Yeah, I mean this was after a two-inch draw against Livingston where he conceded a late penalty.
07:33Yes, yes. And to be fair, David Gray has not been perfect this season.
07:38He's kind of stubbornly refusing to move away from the three at the back system, which maybe no longer serves
07:42his team in the manner that it did.
07:44He's maybe been a bit negative in some games and sat on leads or sat on draws when he maybe
07:49could have been going for the jugular.
07:50The way you're talking, the Hibs must be in the bottom six.
07:53Yeah, exactly, exactly. Hibs are third. Hibs are third and only recently lost a record where they hadn't been beaten
07:58at home in a year.
08:00Is there anything to be said, not so much about Hibs' season, but the Premiership season on a whole?
08:05Well, because you've got Rangers and Celtic not doing particularly well at the moment, and you've got Hartham and Lothian
08:10running away at the top of the table,
08:12and that's perhaps made some of the Hibs supporters a little bit antsy.
08:15It's quite clear that the success of Hibs this season has caused some Hibs fans to lose their minds, and
08:20that's fair enough.
08:21If it was the other way around, we'd be the same. Yep, absolutely.
08:24Now let's talk about one of the big winners of the past seven days, and that's former Celtic goalkeeper Scott
08:29Bain,
08:29who has earned a recall to the Scotland national team.
08:32He had played, I think it was around eight times between May 2021 and the start of this campaign.
08:39He's gone to Falkirk, being one of the better performing goalkeepers in the Scottish Premiership.
08:43Okay, he's conceded the most goals, but he's also had the most to do in terms of the shots saved.
08:49I think he's been consistent, and he's back in the Scotland national team, which shows two things.
08:55He's doing well for himself, but there's a difficult situation at Scotland.
08:59Yeah, I mean, there's two words basically. Default, that's the only reason that he's in this team at the moment.
09:04I mean, the injury tank has gone a long-term injury that could keep him out for a good number
09:07of months.
09:08That's what he's brought in. But fair play to Scott Bain.
09:11I never thought I'd see a Falkirk player in the Scotland team.
09:13I might not be watching the games against Preece or Denmark now onto the back of this.
09:16But the big question is, should he be starting in these games?
09:19Well, that's what I was going to say. You'll see a Falkirk player in the squad. I don't think you'll
09:24see one in the team.
09:25I'm not saying he necessarily should or shouldn't. I just find it very hard to believe that Steve Clarke,
09:30having not selected Bain for the last round of qualifiers, when he did select Liam Kelly, for instance,
09:35that he's going to go straight from Bain being out of the picture to being number one.
09:39I think it'll either be Kelly or Gordon.
09:41God, it really is quite desperate times, isn't it?
09:43The phrase scraping the barrel comes to mind.
09:45We're going to head into the SWPL, and one of the big losers from the last seven days is Rangers
09:50Women and Leanne Crichton.
09:52The manager, they were beaten 3-2 by Harton Midlothian at Orium.
09:56And this caps quite an alarming run of results.
09:58They have lost to some of the biggest teams in the division, including Hibernian and Glasgow City.
10:02And already, they're adrift in the SWPL title race.
10:05Big time, they dropped down to fifth after the game.
10:08And we spoke about it a few weeks ago, about how important those results are in that mini five-team
10:14league.
10:14If you lose those games, then you've got a mountain on the climb, and you can see that within the
10:19table.
10:19And probably most alarmingly was the manner in which they started again.
10:22They were 3-0 down.
10:23Yeah.
10:23And Hart's cut them open really, really easily.
10:26You know, Crichton is perhaps one of the most high-profile women in Scottish football.
10:29You know, very, very good playing career.
10:31And she was a really good pundit as well.
10:33So I think there's perhaps even more highs on Rangers women this season.
10:36I mean, they're a massive club in their own right.
10:39So the pressure is getting turned up a little bit on her.
10:42And just with Rangers women not doing well, Rangers men not doing fantastic either.
10:47There just seems to be a real malaise around the club at the moment.
10:51And that's fantastic.
10:54We'll stick with women's football and we'll head to the other side of the city.
10:58This is Emma Lawton, the Celtic player.
11:01Kind of a bit of a loser for a training ground mishap.
11:04Yes, she is doing a training ground drill where she runs in and strikes the ball off the post,
11:10but all the way the ball comes back and scalps her in the pass and sends her down.
11:14It seemed to travel back off the post with more velocity than it went there in the first place.
11:19Like a springboard.
11:21It's like her teammates have set a trap and then they just release this really fast ball and just floored
11:26her.
11:26Now, a big loser from the weekend, Simon Murray, who had a tantrum when he was taken off during Dundee's
11:324-0 defeat at Tynecastle to Hearts.
11:34Surprised in this day and age with it.
11:35Here we go.
11:36Watch this, big fella.
11:38Oh, Simon Murray's absolutely fuming.
11:41He's a loser, not for that.
11:43Because I think it's fine to show a bit of frustration, a bit of passion.
11:46But it's the situation he finds himself in.
11:48Last season, he was a big money move back to his boyhood favourites.
11:51A lot of pressure on him and he was brilliant last campaign.
11:54And his goals pretty much kept Dundee in the league.
11:57He's only got one goal in the league so far this season.
11:59And it's because he plays for probably the most negative team in the top flight.
12:04And games like Tynecastle, where they come, they barely do anything, they go a goal down and then they do
12:09nothing.
12:10And it just must be so frustrating as a fan of the club when you're trying your heart out to
12:15try and reverse things,
12:16to try and make the team go up the table and you don't feel like you're getting helped by those
12:20who are basically in charge of you.
12:22Simon Murray's tantrum there, it reminds us that these days it's impossible for football players to go unnoticed.
12:28Everything is filmed, everything is broadcast, and it's increasingly a game we watch on television as much as we go
12:34to in person.
12:35We are living in an era where there's more football on television than ever before.
12:39You know, in Scotland we can watch regular live matches, not just from the Premiership, but from the Championship, from
12:45League One, the Challenge Cup, all the Cups and women's football.
12:49And traditionally there's been a notion that this would have negative consequences for attendances, yet they continue to rise.
12:55So let's take a deep dive into football and television and ask what it really means for Scottish football in
13:00a global streaming era.
13:02But we'll get your own habits. First, are you couch potatoes? Do you regularly watch games on the television, Joel?
13:07No, not really. If I can get to a game, I want to go to the game rather than watch
13:10it on TV.
13:11I find that I am easily distracted when watching games on TV and end up just like looking on social
13:17media or in group chats with mates
13:18and if they're watching the game to get their views on the game rather than just actually being engaged in
13:23the game, which when you're at the game, you are.
13:26So ideally I'd prefer not to watch games on TV.
13:28Yeah, for me as well, there's the kind of community aspect of going to football, which is the best thing.
13:33So if you're sitting in the house by yourself, not only do you have the distractions of your phone, but
13:36that's why you get distracted,
13:37because you've not really got anybody to make kind of quippy comments to.
13:41But you can kind of get that in the pub, but you could end up being in a position where
13:45you can barely see the screen.
13:46And that's not great either. No, the best way is to be there in person, parallel to the action.
13:51And just imagine Fowler walking into the pub and everyone going, God, here's that quippy comment.
13:55No standing next to him. But I mean, how does the TV schedule, how does that affect your experiences as
14:02fans?
14:03To give you an idea from Hart's perspective, from the start of the season to the end of December,
14:07we'll have played at Monday night, Saturday evening, Sunday afternoon, Sunday early afternoon,
14:13Saturday early afternoon and Saturday three o'clock and obviously the midweek games as well.
14:18So you kind of get used to it as a top flight fan, just because usually on TV, even more
14:22so this season,
14:23with Harford Lovie and nine points clear at the top of the Scottish Premiership and the big dogs and everyone
14:27wants to see them.
14:27So if that's the price of success, so be it.
14:30My own team, Stenhouse-Muir, we are very rarely on the television.
14:33I know exactly where I am going to be at three o'clock on a Saturday and that is mostly
14:37watching my team.
14:39Two percent of the time the games are moved for television.
14:42There was a game, I think in 2019, a Challenge Cup tie against Waterford that was moved to a Friday
14:46night on BBC Alba.
14:47We're seeing increasingly games being moved from their natural home time at three o'clock on a Saturday afternoon.
14:54What is it about games at that time slot that are so special?
14:58Tradition. It's always known. It's always been that way.
15:02Like, oh, why is it three o'clock kickoff on a Saturday? Well, just because. That's the way it is
15:07and it's kind of just part of your routine.
15:09I think in Scottish football, the fans are king, even though they don't, maybe not treated as such, and at
15:153pm they want to be on their throne.
15:17And that is, that's what Saturday is.
15:19That time slot is the centrepiece of the whole weekend. You can really build the week around it.
15:24And if you know where you need to be at three o'clock on a Saturday, everything else just falls
15:28into place.
15:29Yeah, you're right about being the centrepiece. If you take the weekend starting from Friday at 5pm, then it's kind
15:33of in its perfect place because it's like at the heart.
15:35It's in the middle of the weekend and you build everything around that.
15:38For years now, we have had something in place called the 3pm blackout.
15:41It's been designed to protect games at that time slot.
15:44They're not broadcast on television with the idea of encouraging more fans to head out on the Saturday afternoon.
15:49Do you think this blackout is still fit for purpose?
15:52No, not really. I'm more than happy to see it done away with.
15:56I used to be very protective of it, but I think fans want to go to games and I just
16:01don't think it'll have that big an impact on attendances.
16:05You have to accept that a lot of people perhaps have dodgy sticks, so if they want to find a
16:09way to watch a game, they'll find a way to watch the game.
16:12And it's not had a detrimental effect on crowds.
16:14I'm still a believer in it because it's just, in a lot of cases, too easy for fans to decide
16:20on the day that they're not going to go because of bad weather, bad traffic, bad hangover.
16:25And you don't want that. You want football to remain a spectator sport and not a sport that you mainly
16:30watch on TV.
16:30OK, well, we're in agreement then that Saturday 3 o'clock, that's the best time to watch a game of
16:35football.
16:35If you can't have Saturday at 3, what is the best time?
16:39Saturday 5.45pm. Fowler and I have had the experience of this already this season.
16:45The Edinburgh Derby at 5.45pm. A lot of people are thinking, why is that being played at 5.45pm?
16:49Speaking of Hearts fans, you went to that game, they absolutely loved it.
16:53Yeah, I like the Saturday games. We just have to hope that they continue to happen because I think they've
16:58got their place.
16:59But these kickoff times used to exist in the early 2000s, but they were scrapped and didn't come back for
17:05a long time,
17:06at least at the top flight level, due to crowd trouble.
17:08And there was a particular instance at an Aberdeen match between them and Rangers at Potaudry where riot police had
17:15to be called.
17:16And we just hope that nothing like that happens. But this is all if, buts and maybe.
17:20Since I've come back to the top flight, supporters have generally been fine, so let's hope that continues.
17:24So if we are describing the perfect Scottish football TV time slot, how are we making it?
17:29Who's involved? What teams are playing? What time's it at?
17:33How's Rangers? Usually good fun, especially at Easter Road.
17:36No, no, no, no. I'd take out of the Aberdeen and add Celtic. Celtic Rangers games, they're the best to
17:41watch in Scotland as a neutral.
17:42Too overhyped. The Dundee Derby.
17:45Easy. That's the correct answer.
17:47Right, OK, OK, listen. How about a Sunday afternoon, double bill, Rangers versus Celtic, followed by Dundee, Dundee righted?
17:57Starter and main course. Yes. What's the pudding then?
18:00Queen of the Southmont rules on BBC Alba.
18:02Oh, now we're talking.
18:08Ladies and gents, I want you to go absolutely crazy. The one and only Stuart Hay.
18:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:18Hello. So, my name is Stuart and I do Scottish football comedy.
18:24Are we getting any Scottish football fans in the house?
18:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:28That's soccer for you over there.
18:31LAUGHTER
18:32There was another time where I think Rangers getting pumped is funny.
18:36LAUGHTER
18:37Definitely not.
18:38LAUGHTER
18:39Definitely not.
18:41A sporting institution now in administration.
18:45For Rangers Football Club, this moment was a long time coming, but it's still painful.
18:50The bottom line is, the big house must stay open.
18:542012. Being a Rangers fan, it was a dark period.
18:58Rangers is very much a way of life and it was starting to look as if that way of life
19:01is no longer going to be there.
19:03There is comedy and misery. You know what I mean? There really is that.
19:06Especially for a Scottish football fan, the misery comes a lot harder, a lot more than the happiness does.
19:11And if you can't laugh at yourself, then what can you do?
19:16There's always something that's ridiculous, week in, week out, with Scottish football.
19:20It's a revolving door of comedy.
19:23Any minute. Any minute. No, this is it. He's going to go for it. He's going to go. He's going
19:25to go.
19:29I understand there's a lot of people in Scotland that feel as if Scottish football did it.
19:33It doesn't revolve around Old Firm, but for me personally, I feel as if just the whole chalk and cheese
19:39of those two sets of fans.
19:40There's a lot of comedy in that for me.
19:42I came from a place called Cote Bridge. Cote Bridge is a very predominantly Celtic town.
19:47So growing up, I used to do like hide and seek. So they tell me to go and hide and
19:51they wouldn't come looking for me.
19:52I feel as if just the whole fan culture, especially in Old Firm, the childish way we go about things,
19:58it's extremely funny.
19:59Me and my missus had a son last year, so it's been a full year of me and her arguing
20:03about which football team he's going to support.
20:07Are you a Rangers fan scunnered with how things are going at your club?
20:11Sick of going to work and getting the utter piss ripped right out of you because your team just simply
20:15aren't the best anymore?
20:16Then you need to loot them all.
20:19Just one pill each morning and you'll be back to your old self-righteous cell.
20:23I felt as if I could write a show about the experience the fans had.
20:27At the time they weren't the same as funny moments, but in hindsight now you can look back and say,
20:31that was insane what we went through and luckily we sold out instantly.
20:37This year we managed to do the Hydro.
20:40This is the darkest day in our history. The famous Glasgow Rangers brought to his knees.
20:47My dad will be spinning in his grave.
20:51My papa's no detail.
20:53But he won't be when he hears this.
20:57I really enjoyed being on stage. I enjoyed that whole feeling of hearing an audience laughter.
21:03They understood exactly what the show was about. It resonated with them.
21:08It was a very cathartic experience.
21:12I'm in a position where I'm known for this now.
21:16I'm known for the guy who does Scottish football comedy.
21:21Giving the Rangers a hundred million is a lot like giving a car to a monkey.
21:25No one has a clue how they got it, but they know for a fact it's going to end in
21:29disaster.
21:30The one thing that can go wrong with your football team can totally spiral you into just absolute nonsense.
21:36No one should ever go to the football and come back slightly damp.
21:41The reaction can be mixed.
21:43Have I had any funny hecklers online?
21:47His haircut is worse than his partner.
21:50I remember that one.
21:51Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much.
21:58We run that line of seriousness and silliness.
22:03That's a big part of our game as much as the results for the teams that we support are a
22:08massive thing.
22:09You need to be able to laugh at yourself.
22:11You need to be able to take it on the chin just the same as we do in any other
22:14way of life in Scotland.
22:23Jeezy peeps, mon.
22:24Yes, nowadays every club has its own commentary.
22:28It is unashamedly biased, usually low budget and brutally honest.
22:32Essentially, it's just fans with microphones.
22:34Now we want to celebrate club commentary across Scottish football from our favourite commentators and favourite moments to the most
22:41iconic meltdowns and legendary mishaps.
22:45You did your fair bit of stanny commentary, didn't you?
22:47I certainly did.
22:48Yeah, I did it for just over a year.
22:50It was actually an honour at the time because this was during the Covid-19 pandemic.
22:53There was a lockdown.
22:54People couldn't get to the games.
22:56So it was actually just a genuine privilege to be able to get there and watch the team in action
23:00when no one else really could.
23:02I can't really remember much of the football during that period because it wasn't particularly good.
23:06And we stopped doing it because once fans were allowed back into the grounds, everyone who wanted to stream a
23:12stanny game was going to the games as well.
23:14So there wasn't really a necessity for it.
23:16But no, at the time it was good fun.
23:18I really enjoyed it.
23:20I've done it a few times covering Hearts games.
23:21I was excited.
23:22I was enthusiastic.
23:23If anything, I was enthusiastic.
23:26And you're not the only one who's worked for Hearts TV.
23:28You've done it too?
23:29Yes, I've done it somewhere between five and ten times over many, many years.
23:34Not that popular with Hearts fans in the last two.
23:37Correct me if I'm wrong, but you had a Fred on Kickback named after you.
23:40Two!
23:40Two threes!
23:41The second one was called Craig Fowler again!
23:45I was the lead commentator.
23:47Hearts lost 2-0.
23:48It was the sixth game we'd lost in a row.
23:50It was Robbie Neil since the last match and it was late in the game.
23:52Jimmy Sanderson told a joke and me and him were yucking it up.
23:56And yeah, when you're getting beat 2-0 and everybody's furious, that's the kind of thing you do not do
24:00on club TV.
24:01So yeah, they had a point with that one.
24:03I've never been asked back since.
24:05I'm sorry Hearts, you live and learn!
24:08But you know something like that, but what you're saying there, what you're both saying there, that is just fans.
24:12You're fans.
24:13You are emotionally invested in something and it's very difficult to divorce your own thoughts, feelings, your excitement, your disappointments
24:19with what's going on on the pitch.
24:21And one of the best examples of that is from Rangers TV.
24:26This is a clip from February 2014 from Rangers 3, Stenhouse Muir 3, when Tom Miller, the commentator, loses his
24:33mind when Sean Higgins celebrates scoring a penalty for the Warriors.
24:37Higgins versus Bell and he knocks it beyond Cammy Bell and Higgins bit of showboating there.
24:43It's 3-3 at Ibrox having our play of the second period and Stenhouse Muir.
24:49Mr Higgins, get a grip of yourself, you idiot.
24:54If you can lip read, our apologies. If you can lip read, that's as bad as the Arsenal goalkeeper and
25:00it should be eradicated.
25:01What makes this clip so funny is just the tone of his voice, the desperation, the clambering towards the moral
25:07high ground.
25:08The indignation.
25:08Brilliant.
25:09Yeah, idiot. That is good. That is really, really good.
25:11And it is a clip I see maybe three, four times a season, but always at least once because it
25:18seems to have its own anniversary where you know things are going to come around and on its anniversary that
25:23gets brought up within Scottish football social media.
25:26You know, it was not just about the commentator.
25:28You also need a decent co-commentator to help grease the wheels and provide that bit of insight and analysis
25:34that you might have missed.
25:35We'll stick with Rangers TV and we'll look at this clip involving Hugh Burns. This is Rangers 2 Celtic 3
25:41from March 2018.
25:48What's the goalie doing, Tom? What's the goalie doing?
25:54It's brilliant because what makes this so good is I think this clip has actually, what's the goalie doing, has
26:00actually got a life of its own now.
26:02I reckon there's people that use it in everyday parlance that don't actually know the match that it came from.
26:07You have to say it's still iconic and still used today and you've got to love the anger and desperation
26:12in his voice.
26:14You can actually picture him on the gantry at Ibrox, turning around to Tom Miller. What's he doing?
26:21But no, I do think it's iconic and I do think at one point it was overused but I think
26:27it's moved on from that and it's going to be part of the Scottish football lexicon where everyone will remember
26:33the phrase even if they don't know where it's came from.
26:36You know, I mean, Tom Miller is good and his co-commentators are great but they're not the best. No,
26:42no.
26:42The best people involved in club commentary in Scotland, Laurence Nelson and Brian Martin at Strenra.
26:47They have been brilliant over the last number of years and perhaps the best example of them comes from Strenra
26:533 East Kilbride 1,
26:54the League 2 play-off final second leg from the end of the 23-24 season.
26:59Strenra, stay in League 2 and can I say John Hannah, Muriel Gray, Ali McCoy, Lorraine Kelly,
27:08Worley's Roundabout, Casta Young, you boys, you can have a beating.
27:14He's spot on.
27:15Not just the two best commentators in the business but that is one of the most iconic clips and one
27:20of the most iconic pieces of commentary I've ever heard.
27:23You just imagine Brian Martin going on Wikipedia looking at notable people from East Kilbride beforehand.
27:28And a roundabout.
27:28And a roundabout and just making a wee note of that and sticking it in his back pocket.
27:32Do you think there was only on the notable people, there was only four or five others, I need another
27:36one, I need another one.
27:37What else is East Kilbride famous for?
27:39Roundabouts.
27:40Roundabouts.
27:41I was taking my son here to his first ever trip to Steyr Park last season for the game against
27:45Forth Athletic
27:46and we headed down, we were really excited, we got there super early so we could get to meet the
27:51pair of them.
27:51Turns out they don't do mid-week games.
27:53Nah, nah.
27:53He was in tears.
27:54And then we were asked if we wanted to step in and do the commentary ourselves.
28:00Shoes that were far too big to fill for us.
28:02Exactly, exactly.
28:03I mean we said, you didn't hear this guy on Hearts TV, did you?
28:05And they said, no, no, that's a fair point.
28:09And they would create us to an R4 and just say, Craig Fowler!
28:12Again!
28:14Now, when you're doing club commentary you're generally playing to a friendly audience but sometimes, especially during away games, fans
28:22won't be so accommodating.
28:23And the best example of this was from last season, a game between St Johnston and Motherwell where the Steelmen
28:30won 2-1 thanks to Moses BA's 94th minute goal.
28:34And the people sitting directly in front of the Motherwell TV commentary team were not happy.
28:38Unbelievable!
28:40Motherwell will win it right at the death!
28:43Brilliant!
28:44Brilliant!
28:46St Johnston fans not happy in front of me.
28:48I don't care.
28:56St Johnston fans not happy.
29:00I don't care.
29:01I don't care.
29:02I don't care.
29:04I don't care.
29:04I don't care.
29:04I don't care.
29:05I don't care.
29:05There we go.
29:06You were talking to me like that again, you lot of fans.
29:08St Johnston fans absolutely delighted.
29:11I hope you picked that up.
29:12I love to see St Johnston fans not happy and you're wondering, hmmm, I wonder why.
29:17But then you can, since you can hear it so audibly you think, ah yeah that does make sense, I
29:22can feel the rage there.
29:23Well he says, if you ever speak to me like that again, he's not talking to you.
29:27He's only pitched up here like twice a season.
29:30Unless he's being really abusive when you say it.
29:32That's what he might call me!
29:35Am I right in saying that in McDermott Park the commentary for the weight teams is you are right in
29:40amongst the home support.
29:42The season ticket holders, they sit directly in front of you.
29:44Yes, so your commentary position is there and then the St Johnston fans are just right in front of you.
29:50They're a rambunctious bunch, even though they are middle aged to elderly gentlemen.
29:55We're talking a lot about club commentary, but see when it comes to the national game, everyone's a fan.
30:01Everyone has a skin in what they're watching.
30:04And some things are very, very easy to get carried away, especially when you see one of the worst misses
30:08of all time.
30:09This is an infamous moment from Scotland 0, Norway 0 from October 2008.
30:14And no surprise there, seeing he's up against a strong and physical Norwegian defence, Scott Brown in the Norway half.
30:21Cuts it inside to Nismith!
30:23Nismith!
30:43Nismith!
30:43Nismith!
30:45Nismith!
30:46What happened there?!
30:47Nismith!
30:49Nismith!
30:51Oh no!
30:53This is radio commentary from Ewan Cameron and his team here.
30:57And I just love the, it's like the three stages of grief that they seem to go through here, from
31:01excitement, bewilderment to disbelief.
31:04all in the space of a couple of seconds.
31:06There's so many things I love about this.
31:08I love the co-commentator where he realises that a goal has not occurred.
31:13But he is so confused as to why.
31:15It's not even that he can't speak in clear sentences,
31:18he can't even speak in clear words,
31:19he's just kind of making noises as he tries to figure it out.
31:22And I also love that he can hear somebody in the background,
31:24obviously a part of another commentary team or part of the media,
31:28just like, he's missed it, he's missed it, it's not a goal!
31:31They're all no in unison.
31:32I think everyone in Scotland, when you got that highlight,
31:36that shot when it was on Sky Sports,
31:38I think everyone would have had the same reactions.
31:40This is something the three of us will have experienced,
31:43getting to commentate on your team scoring a goal.
31:47And a fantastic example of this, this is from April 2003,
31:52where Hartan Midlothian beat Celtic by two goals,
31:54to one with Auston McCann scoring an unexpected late winner.
31:58And this is brilliant commentary from Mark Donaldson.
32:00Andy Kirk's got a chance on the break for Hartz,
32:03here's got Severin,
32:03Phil Stamp on the far side,
32:05can Severin score him?
32:06He's on the left-hand side now,
32:07the three-ball to Auston McCann,
32:08Auston McCann goes to the shot!
32:10Oh!
32:12Auston McCann!
32:13What a goal!
32:15Auston McCann has scored the goal of a lifetime!
32:19Auston McCann has perhaps had he'd raises the title,
32:23and Auston McCann has perhaps put a stamp on a passport
32:29that takes Hartz into Europe!
32:32So good.
32:33So good.
32:34The excitement,
32:35because Mark Donaldson's a big Hartz fan,
32:37and it's just his delivery of it all,
32:40it's like his voice is about to go,
32:42it's about to go,
32:42it's hanging on,
32:43and I think everyone can understand the excitement.
32:47Yeah, I mean,
32:47certainly I took a very different approach
32:49to when I was doing the commentary
32:50on the rare occasions that we did score during that period.
32:53I remember we were in the gallery,
32:56Oakville View at the time.
32:57We swore the goal,
32:58I think it actually ultimately won us the game.
33:00I remember actually muting the microphone,
33:01and because you've got so much adrenaline and energy
33:04that build up,
33:05which normally you would get rid of
33:07by just bouncing about in the stands
33:09and cuddling the people next to you,
33:10because of it,
33:11I just sprinted from one end of the gallery to the other,
33:14got it all in my system,
33:15then collected my thoughts,
33:16grabbed the microphone,
33:17and offered some excellent analysis
33:18on the goal.
33:20You're a weird boy.
33:23That may be so,
33:24but you know,
33:24listen,
33:25all this talk about club commentary
33:27and the games themselves
33:28has got me very excited
33:29for a big week of Scottish football ahead.
33:33You know,
33:33there are hundreds of games
33:34taking place across the country,
33:36but I think this is the best opportunity
33:38to explore the must-watch games
33:39and the connoisseur's choice.
33:42Craig Fowler,
33:42we'll start it yourself first.
33:43What's the must-watch game of the weekend?
33:46There is an Edinburgh Derby
33:47taking place on Sunday.
33:49Hearts and Hibs,
33:50women in the Sky Sports Cup.
33:52It's a mouth-watering clash.
33:55It looks like the other teams
33:56that get through
33:56will be Rangers,
33:57Celtic and Glasgow City,
33:58so that's going to be a big four
33:59in the semi-finals.
34:01And the chance,
34:02we know the big five
34:04can all beat each other,
34:05so it's a chance for both these teams
34:06to win a competition this season.
34:09Hearts have won the first game
34:10between the two sides this season,
34:11but Hibs are ahead of them
34:12in the league table,
34:13and Hibs, of course,
34:14are reigning SWPL champions.
34:16Hearts have the better record
34:18over the last couple of seasons.
34:20Yeah, well,
34:20this season and last season,
34:22certainly,
34:22Hearts,
34:23it was two wins apiece
34:24last season in the league,
34:25but Hearts had the better
34:27overall head-to-head record
34:28by winning a Scottish Cup game
34:29between the two sides
34:30and the home side
34:31will certainly be hoping
34:32that that repeats itself on Sunday.
34:34A bit of a disappointment,
34:35though,
34:35that this game is taking place
34:36the exact same time
34:37as the men's team
34:38are playing at Tynecastle.
34:39Yeah, in an ideal world,
34:41you may have wanted them
34:41at different times,
34:42especially in Edinburgh Derby,
34:44but it was just circumstance.
34:46There is a Scotland rugby
34:47or playing some daft friendly
34:49or whatever
34:49at Murrayfield on the Saturday,
34:51so that meant that
34:53the game at Tynecastle
34:54between Hearts and Dundee United
34:55had to be moved to the Sunday,
34:57and it's also taking place
34:58at three o'clock,
34:59but that game is a sell-out,
35:00so if you can't get along,
35:01if you're a Hearts fan
35:02and you can't get along to that,
35:03you can just fire over to the Orium
35:05and watch what should be
35:07a good Cup game.
35:08How's it going to go?
35:10Parcel penalties.
35:12Yeah, let's go for a home win.
35:13OK, Joe, what about yourself?
35:15What is the must-watch game
35:16taking place in the Premiership?
35:17The standout fixture for me
35:18in the Scottish Premiership
35:19is Falkirk against Livingston
35:22at the meeting of the two sides
35:23promoted from the Championship
35:24last season.
35:25Yeah, and it's a very interesting fixture
35:27because they met each other
35:28earlier in the season,
35:29Livingston won that game,
35:31suggested the clubs
35:31were going to go
35:32on different trajectories.
35:33That has been the case,
35:34but it's Falkirk
35:35that have adapted really well
35:36to life back in the top flight.
35:38Yeah, massive surprise
35:39so far,
35:40I was expecting Livingston
35:41to be where Falkirk are
35:42and Falkirk to be
35:43kind of where Livingston are,
35:44especially after...
35:45I thought Livingston would be in fifth.
35:46It actually tips for Livingston
35:47to be in top six,
35:48so yes.
35:49Oh, there we go.
35:50A bad prediction.
35:51I like it, you're like,
35:53ha ha ha!
35:53No, no.
35:55This is massive game
35:57for both teams actually
35:58because you've got Livingston
36:00who have not won
36:01since beating Falkirk
36:02in the league
36:03and then you've got Falkirk
36:05who have adapted
36:06to this Premiership.
36:07They look like
36:08a competent Premiership outfit
36:09considering there was
36:10question marks
36:11about the squad
36:12from last season
36:12and question marks
36:13about the recruitment
36:14but they just seem
36:15to have grown into it
36:15whereas Livingston
36:16have not really got going yet.
36:18I would say though,
36:19historically,
36:20Livingston do have
36:21a really good record
36:22against Falkirk
36:23that goes back to last season.
36:24Yeah, it's about time
36:25that Falkirk got rid
36:25of that Livingston hoodoo
36:26and also as well,
36:28just kind of ride the momentum
36:29because there are going
36:30to be tougher times ahead
36:31and it's really impressive
36:32what Falkirk have been doing
36:33recently because
36:34they've been putting together
36:35like a patchwork
36:36back four
36:37for a number of weeks now
36:38and yet they've won
36:40three out of their last
36:40four games in the top flight
36:42and you can very easily
36:43see them making that
36:44four out of five
36:44this weekend.
36:46Livingston's a sneak-it.
36:48OK, OK, big talk.
36:49Now listen,
36:50those are two must-watch games.
36:52I'm going to give you
36:52the connoisseur's choice.
36:54We are going to head
36:55all the way
36:57to the bottom
36:58of the West of Scotland
36:59third division
37:00where Luger, Boswell, Thistle
37:02are taking on
37:04St Anthony's.
37:05Be there
37:05or be square.
37:06Why this game?
37:07Right.
37:08These are the only two teams
37:09in the West of Scotland
37:10third division
37:11that have yet to win a match.
37:12They're both
37:12in 15th and 16th place
37:14only with two points.
37:16They're already cut adrift
37:17from Glasgow, Perthshire
37:18in 14th place
37:19so they really do need
37:21to get their act together
37:21otherwise this is going
37:22to be a long, hard season
37:24for them both.
37:24Can you give us
37:25other than a reason
37:27to see two rubbish teams?
37:28It's just because
37:29there's two rubbish teams
37:30so one of them's
37:30about to win
37:31except to make your job.
37:32You know, listen
37:33I would like to think
37:34that I can guarantee
37:35you goals in this game.
37:36At the moment
37:37St Anthony's concede
37:38on average three goals
37:39a game.
37:40Luger, Boswell, Thistle
37:40concede on average
37:41four goals a game.
37:43How many do they score?
37:45Not very many.
37:46So it really feels
37:47like something's got
37:48to give here.
37:49And on top of that
37:49as well
37:50it's not just about
37:51going to watch football
37:53between two sides
37:53that are a bit down.
37:54You get the chance
37:55to go into
37:56deepest, darkest Ayrshire.
37:57You get to go
37:58to Rosebank Park
37:59which looks like
38:00a class place
38:00to go and watch football
38:01sort of like
38:01dilapidated terracing
38:03play of overgrown area
38:04you can get right
38:04close to the pitch
38:05and you get to go
38:07and watch a team
38:07who sound like
38:08a WCW wrestler
38:09mixed with a sort of
38:10eccentric Scottish aristocrat.
38:12What's not to like?
38:13It's very much
38:14when a stoppable force
38:15meets a movable object.
38:16Very much has been
38:17so I'll ask you guys
38:18for a prediction.
38:19Luger, Boswell,
38:20Thistle versus
38:20St Anthony's
38:21what are you going for?
38:22St Anthony's.
38:23Draw.
38:24Okay, I'm going for
38:25a 6-4 to Thistle
38:26for this one.
38:28But listen,
38:29that's what I'm going
38:30to be doing
38:30with my day tomorrow
38:31but before I head up
38:32the road
38:33can I ask the two of you
38:34to take me on
38:35at a game
38:36known as
38:36The Banker.
38:38Ho ho!
38:38It's a very easy concept
38:40to get your noggin around
38:41but if you don't know
38:42how it works
38:42I will explain the rules
38:44to you one more time.
38:45It's me
38:46versus the Wet Bandits.
38:47Every week
38:48we guess on the outcome
38:49of Scottish football matches
38:50and we get points
38:51for every correct
38:52prediction we make.
38:54We are competing
38:55for the wonderful
38:56Eamon Brophy
38:57Lone Wolf Trophy.
39:00And after last week
39:02the league table
39:02looks a little bit
39:03like this.
39:04Amy Canavan
39:05correctly predicted
39:06that Inverness,
39:06Caledonian Thistle
39:07would beat Montrose
39:08but because I correctly
39:10predicted St Johnson
39:11and Partick Thistle
39:12to win their games
39:13I am now ahead
39:14in the table.
39:15Six points to five.
39:17So as always
39:18all to play for.
39:20Now this week's
39:21stipulation
39:21we have been talking
39:22a lot about football
39:24on television
39:25so you can pick
39:26from any game
39:27taking place
39:28in the SPFL
39:29but you can only
39:30pick a team
39:31that has not had
39:32a league match
39:33televised live
39:34this season.
39:35So there's plenty
39:37to pick from
39:37and plenty excitement
39:39to be had.
39:39So Mr Craig Fowler
39:40we'll start with
39:41yourself first.
39:42What is your pick?
39:43I'm going to go
39:44to League 2
39:45and I'm going to go
39:46for Edinburgh City
39:47to defeat Elgin City
39:48at Meadow Bank.
39:50Makes sense.
39:51Show me you're working.
39:51So while this is
39:52bottom against fourth
39:53it is our Edinburgh City
39:55team that have obviously
39:56been deducted 15 points
39:57without that
39:58they would have been
39:58tied for second
39:59with East Coldbride
40:01and therefore would have
40:02been six points ahead
40:02of Elgin in the league table
40:03so that they do have
40:04a better record
40:05so far this season
40:06and while Edinburgh City
40:07have not been that
40:08great at home
40:09this season
40:10I do think
40:12they're going to
40:12change that
40:13starting with this game.
40:15Now listen
40:15I'm going very close
40:16to home for my first pick
40:17and I'm going for
40:18Stenhouse-Muart
40:19to beat Kelty Hearts.
40:20It's very simple
40:21I think Stenny are a good side
40:22Kelty Hearts
40:23my goodness
40:23they are not a good side.
40:25Shell Act
40:253-0 by Allo Athletic
40:27at the weekend
40:27and the manager
40:28Tam O'Wear
40:29gave a pretty morose
40:30post-match interview
40:31where he was really unhappy
40:32about the way
40:33his team had played
40:34and he said
40:34things will need to change
40:36that's right
40:37but I don't think
40:38it's going to happen
40:38in time for their visit
40:39to the Oco View
40:40so three points
40:41for Stenhouse-Muart
40:42and one point to me.
40:44Did they bring in
40:44Michael Tidzer?
40:45Yes they did
40:45Michael Tidzer's returned
40:46to the club
40:47as their assistant manager
40:48I think so I've changed.
40:49Joke's good
40:50what's the second pick
40:51for your team?
40:52Clyde to beat Stenhouse-Muart
40:53if you want my working
40:53you can just look
40:54at the league table
40:54but also
40:55Darren Young has
40:57started to do
40:57a really good job at Clyde
40:58he's started to pick up
40:59in the last few weeks
41:00and Stenhouse-Muart
41:01they just give me the feeling
41:03I've been circling the drain
41:04a wee bit in the last
41:05couple of seasons
41:05at the bottom of League 2
41:06this is a Sonar team
41:07who have won their last
41:08three matches
41:08in all competitions
41:09they've got ten goals
41:10in those games
41:11really impressive
41:12win against fourth
41:13athletic last game
41:13where are they on the table?
41:15third against eighth
41:15third are at home
41:16makes sense
41:18you could have just
41:18said that isn't it
41:19I don't know much
41:20about these teams
41:20but I know where they are
41:21on the league table
41:22easy as that
41:23I've looked at the league table
41:25for my second pick
41:26I'm going to stay
41:27in League 2
41:28and I'm going for
41:29East Kilbride
41:29to defeat Sterling Albion
41:31now I know both teams
41:32aren't in particularly
41:33good form at the moment
41:34but I do feel like
41:35East Kilbride have got
41:36the wherewithal
41:37to pull themselves
41:37out of this tailspin
41:39in their second place
41:40in the league
41:40they very evidently
41:41have good players
41:42they played each other
41:43at fourth bank
41:43early in the season
41:44they won that match
41:453-0
41:45and there's something
41:46there's just something
41:47not right
41:48at Sterling Albion
41:49at the moment
41:50Alan Mabry
41:51not the most popular
41:52manager at the moment
41:53I think he really
41:54needs a result
41:54to try and buy back
41:56the faith of the support
41:57it's not going to happen here
41:58East Kilbride to win
41:59and another point
42:00to me
42:01that's going to
42:01continue my
42:03snap my snap
42:04journey
42:04towards picking up
42:05that trophy
42:06once and for all
42:08I think what happens
42:09when I win this trophy
42:10I think I might just
42:10take it up the road
42:11back to FK5
42:12and just never return it
42:14so then it's mine
42:15just for keeps
42:17until we come round
42:18to your flat
42:20well if you come round
42:21to my flat
42:21I'll take the numbers
42:22off the doors
42:22so you won't know
42:24it's where I stay
42:25I'll just go to the house
42:26with no numbers on it
42:27I'll take my neighbour's
42:29numbers off the door
42:29as well
42:30and we'll go to the house
42:31next to the house
42:31with no numbers on it
42:32I can do this all day
42:35take, take, take
42:36talk, talk, talk
42:37you talk a lot
42:38one last night
42:39for all
42:40Tracy
42:40is it going to be the same
42:43do you know that many
42:45you succeed
42:46every day
42:47I wasn't the other
42:48so that's what we say
42:49I don't have a sense
42:50but I made the other side
42:52any other kind
42:53just ignore us
42:54and now I say
42:55you
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