- 12 ore fa
Video della alpha 32 di Prison Architetc, titolo da diversi anni disponibile nella sezione Accesso Anticipato di Steam che non è ancora arrivato alla release definitiva e non si sa bene quando ci arriverà a questo punto, visto che lo sviluppo di novità continua a ritmo feroce. Il filmato come al solito mostra molti minuti di gioco con cui gli sviluppatori illustrano le novità introdotte con la nuova versione. Vi ricordiamo che Prison Architect è un titolo esclusivo per PC.
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00:04Hello everybody and welcome to the update video for Alpha 32, I am Mark, I am the producer, here's Chris,
00:14the director.
00:14Do you think we still need to introduce ourselves?
00:17Mate, I'm convinced that we're picking up new members every week, months.
00:21Hello, I'm Chris. Welcome to another video where we have fuck all to talk about.
00:30Yes, it's tricky because it's been another bug bash, because we're getting toward the end of the project, more on
00:39that later, and bug bashes don't make for good video fodder.
00:43But, internet, where are you not? I have a list of things to talk about which will keep you engaged.
00:49Oh yeah, the last time we did this, you said that you were going to let us all know what
00:54you really did at Introversion.
00:56Did I?
00:56Yeah, you said, well, you know how you guys all question what I actually do at Introversion?
01:00Well, today you're going to find out. We're still hanging on that, mate. We're still waiting for you to close
01:06that thought.
01:09I think I've been saying that for the previous 15 years, mate.
01:12Yeah. Bug bashes are weird, aren't they? Bug bashes are weird because the game gets immeasurably better throughout the month,
01:18you know?
01:19Having, like, however many bugs, you know, stomped on it, it really improves the game a lot for the average
01:25player, but it just doesn't fit into our monthly video cycle at all, does it?
01:29Oh, it's very difficult to do.
01:29Because there's nothing to show. It's like, that thing that went wrong previously, it doesn't go wrong anymore.
01:34The team have been tweeting the bugs as they fixed them. Yeah.
01:37So they've been taking some shots and tweeting. And somebody said, stop tweeting all these bug fixes.
01:42Did you block him?
01:44It's like, alright, sorry.
01:46Isn't that what Twitter's for?
01:4919,999 people enjoyed the bug fixes, but it's this one guy, it's the internet man, it hurts.
01:54You've got to be thick skinned to be in this business.
01:57Yeah, I know what you mean. It's best not to listen to one or two occasional people on the internet,
02:01is it?
02:02Yes. Now, the video's even worse because I would have liked to have gotten Johnny Programmer involved.
02:07Yeah.
02:07But unfortunately, he's in the infirmary.
02:10Ah.
02:11Has he been shanked?
02:14No, I don't hope not.
02:16Yeah.
02:17He's telling me he's got some sort of food poisoning thing.
02:20Food poisoning.
02:21Ah.
02:22Yeah, yeah, he's...
02:23Wow.
02:24Perfect timing, Johnny.
02:25Jesus.
02:26Yes, yeah.
02:27Maybe it's just Johnny throwing a sickie to get out and making the video.
02:30But he didn't know he was going to be in the video, so I think it's...
02:33Right.
02:33I think it's genuine.
02:34Do you think so?
02:35You don't think he was just suddenly puked when he realised he was going to have to describe
02:37what he'd been doing all month?
02:38You're such a heartless and soulless man.
02:41Work them harder.
02:42Work them harder.
02:44Work them harder.
02:44What do you mean they're sick?
02:46Haven't they got children?
02:47Send some of them in.
02:48Yeah.
02:49Alright, well...
02:49I will have my powder flesh.
02:52Alright, so we're going to do a Bug Bash video without Johnny, who is the leader on
02:56the Bug Bash, and without the ability to demonstrate any particular bug fixes.
03:01Oh, mate, no one's watching now anyway, so it doesn't matter, do whatever we like.
03:05Yeah, alright.
03:06Everyone's already turned off, haven't they?
03:07They've already realised.
03:10Right, so...
03:12Show me something.
03:13Show me something.
03:14Your voice sounds really weird now and then.
03:16You're getting this weird mechanical distortion.
03:18Oh, it's probably just the interwebs, isn't it?
03:20It's just Skype going wrong, I think.
03:21Yeah.
03:22Well, what can we do?
03:23We're just going to have to deal with you not talking.
03:26to place myself with a robot.
03:28Yeah, so guess what this is.
03:29So this is a prison, it has 1200 prisoners in.
03:34Alright, and this is genuinely the most horrible prison I've ever seen.
03:39Alright, he states in his description, I'll put the link up on screen about which prison
03:43it is, it's on the Steam Workshop.
03:44He states that the aim of this prison is to be as evil as Prison Architect will allow.
03:49Alright, so he's abusing the lawyer minimum cell size change.
03:54Alright, which means that prisoners are no longer entitled to a 3x2 cell.
03:59Right.
03:59And he's abusing the fact that you can have prisoners in permanent lockdown now as well.
04:03Yeah, yeah.
04:04And he's using both those features to have the entire prison population of 1200 prisoners
04:09permanently locked down in 1x1 boxes.
04:14How many faces of the games do we have?
04:16Is it all name in the games?
04:17Is it every...
04:18Ah, no, we've got like 12,000 or something there.
04:20Oh, have we? Okay.
04:21Yeah, exactly.
04:23Extras.
04:23Names in the game.
04:2415,863 names in the game.
04:27Right, right, okay.
04:28So 10 times more at least.
04:30But yeah, isn't this completely insane?
04:32So they don't...
04:32That is insane.
04:34They're never let out.
04:35I mean, here's the regime.
04:37Lock up, lock up, lock up, lock up, lock up, lock up.
04:39And a little bit of eat and a little bit of work.
04:42And that's it.
04:43It's just lock up all day.
04:44They don't really get let out of their cells at all.
04:46If you look down here, you can see loads of guards taking food to them.
04:50Yeah, yeah.
04:51See that?
04:52Yeah.
04:53Just taking trays of food because we changed it so they wouldn't starve to death anymore.
04:56The guards would take food to them.
04:57And that's now the way, the primary method by which they eat.
05:01So those changes that we made have actually been, have actually permitted a much higher
05:05level of evil in them.
05:07I love this.
05:07It's like, I want to make a film in this, you know, set in this world.
05:11Well, nothing happens.
05:12That's the problem.
05:13I mean, look at the thermometer, right?
05:15Yeah, yeah.
05:15See, it's absolutely maxed out.
05:171,203 prisoners have serious complaints.
05:20Yeah.
05:20So fucking what?
05:22Well done.
05:23Yeah.
05:23Let's have a look at the needs chart.
05:28It's like, oh, boo fucking who?
05:32Oh, you want to see your family, do you?
05:34Oh, boo fucking who?
05:36Looks like you get to lock down in your jail cell all day.
05:38We don't care.
05:39What about the sleep need though?
05:40That's going to kill them, isn't it?
05:41Well, they just, they collapse with exhaustion and they just go to sleep in their cell box.
05:46Oh, right, right.
05:47You can't die of sleep exhaustion in the game.
05:49Yeah.
05:49It just drives you up the wall, you know?
05:52And so there are pretty frequent deaths because free fire is permanently turned on.
05:57Right.
05:57And there are armed guards everywhere.
05:59Right.
05:59So in the rare instances when somebody decides to rebel against this prison that he's in,
06:04he's instantly shot in the face by a shotgun guard.
06:09And it's profitable as well.
06:11Look at this.
06:11Is it?
06:12Yeah.
06:12It makes like a hundred thousand dollars a day in profit.
06:15Yes.
06:16Awesome.
06:16Because he's got a, he's got a huge prisoner grant, right?
06:19Because he's got all these maximum security prisoners here and he's got not especially high
06:23expenses.
06:24You know, he's got, um, he's got his food meal variety turned to zero.
06:28So if you look in the kitchen, there's this mammoth kitchen in the middle.
06:31And all they have is, all they have is, is green veg.
06:36That's green veg.
06:40That's awful, isn't it?
06:41That is terrible.
06:42The only reform programs running are guard taser certification and the death of the world
06:46in this process.
06:50I've never seen anything like it.
06:51I mean, this is, this is the most extreme.
06:53Oh, it's brilliant.
06:54Yeah.
06:55Um, right.
06:56Um, we do have, even though it's a bug bash, we have one or two new features.
07:00Um, death row has had a couple of upgrades.
07:03Right.
07:04You'll see now that there's a little update thing here in your to-do list.
07:07There's death row inmate status.
07:08So he, he's, this guy's actually got quite a lot of death row inmates down here.
07:12So if you recall previously, you would, you could, you could choose to proceed with the
07:16execution once your death row prisoners were below a certain threshold.
07:19Yeah.
07:19It's kind of up to you, but there was a legally defined threshold below which you were safe.
07:23Yeah.
07:23But if you have a lot of death row prisoners, it's a little bit of a pain in the ass
07:26kind
07:27of cycling through the mall, trying to find what status everyone's in.
07:30Yeah.
07:30So now you have this handy to do thing that tells you like these are, these are your current
07:33five lowest graded death row inmates, right?
07:37Yeah.
07:37And you can see that Matt Luther is already below the legal threshold.
07:41He's ready for the chop.
07:42And that's why he shows up green.
07:44Yeah.
07:44Okay.
07:44There you go.
07:46Um, we made another change as well.
07:48You know how, uh, you get three, three strikes and you're out with death row, don't you?
07:52So if you, if you proceed with executions and then they, they turn out that they, you know,
07:56evidence comes to light later that they would have been revealed, released or, you know,
08:00turned to death row, turned to maximum security prisoners.
08:04Um, if you do it wrong three times in a row, you get fired, right?
08:08That was the case previously, but there's now an additional danger level, which is that
08:11there's, there's always a small chance that they're actually innocent of the crime.
08:16Um, yeah, it's about 5%.
08:18So now if you proceed with an execution and they're above the legal threshold, so, you
08:23know, it's not a safe legal standing that you're taking and they're executed.
08:27And then it later turns out that they passed their, what they would have passed their appeal
08:31and they were innocent, then you're actually fired immediately.
08:35It's instantaneous game over when it happens.
08:38Game over.
08:38It's a very low chance of happening, but it's always there in the back of your mind.
08:42Yeah.
08:43Because you can't, you can't even take one chance with that, that danger being there.
08:47Yeah.
08:47And I think that it makes sense because it's been like in the news, you know, when you
08:52hear about executions that go terribly wrong, often.
08:55Statewide executions are, are, um, put on pause for a while while they figure out what
09:00went wrong.
09:00It's that kind of level of fuck up, you know?
09:02Yeah.
09:03Um, uh, that's that change.
09:07Um, yeah, I think that's all of our me.
09:11Oh no, there is one new feature.
09:13Yes.
09:14The lawyer.
09:15Do you remember the lawyer?
09:16Yes, of course.
09:17I remember the lawyer.
09:17The lawyer's got another power now.
09:20Um, I hope I never have to have a conversation with our actual lawyer about our in-game lawyers,
09:24because I feel a bit bad, you know, like our lawyer would think that I have such a low
09:29opinion of them.
09:31It's all very cynical, isn't it?
09:32The lawyer's powers.
09:34Yeah.
09:34Well, no, I don't think so.
09:35Lawyers, the characters and things aren't they?
09:37Well now, um, so there's always the persistent threat of game over, right?
09:41So, you know, like, um, 20 deaths in one day puts you on warning, doesn't it?
09:45Yeah.
09:45And then I think it's three more deaths the next day is enough to get you fired.
09:49So yeah, you can, you can try to avert it, but on a prison like this, for example, it'd
09:54be very difficult to guarantee that you didn't have three deaths in the next day.
09:57So you're facing a very real chance of game over.
10:00Well, now the lawyer can do a little bit of legal legedermine.
10:05Is that the right word?
10:06It is the right word.
10:07Yes, indeed.
10:07He can do a little bit of legal conundrum.
10:09Legal leg, legal legedermine.
10:10Yeah.
10:10Yeah.
10:11A little bit of, um, legal fancy.
10:14And so what, so the way that it works is...
10:15Perhaps he would need a degree of intrepidity.
10:18A degree of intrepidity.
10:20Wow.
10:21I love that sentence.
10:22It's good, isn't it?
10:23It's good.
10:24What's that from?
10:25Oh, come on, you.
10:26Oh.
10:28Star Trek.
10:29Star Trek something.
10:30Yes.
10:30Star Trek.
10:31Keep going.
10:31Star Trek.
10:32It's Spock, isn't it?
10:33It is Spock.
10:34I think it's Star Trek 6.
10:35A certain amount of legedermine and a degree of intrepidity.
10:39They're off to get Kurt.
10:39Because he's been, he's on the, uh, he's on the ice planet in prison.
10:42Yeah.
10:42And, and Spock's in command and he says, what we need down is now is some linguistic legedermine
10:47and a degree of intrepidity.
10:49Well done, Spock.
10:50That's good, isn't it?
10:51It's good, isn't it?
10:52That's the kind of writing that stays in the break.
10:53He never says that in J.J. Abrams' reboot, does he?
10:56No.
10:56But that's all, it's all about children, isn't it?
10:59Huh?
10:59Kirk's about seven, isn't he?
11:0117.
11:01He's given a, the enterprise to command.
11:04I understand what you're saying.
11:04I'm just saying that that Star Trek 6 is from a different era, isn't it?
11:07You know?
11:08Yes.
11:09That's very interesting.
11:11Anyway.
11:11But Star Trek 6, Star Trek 6 is potentially an all time classic science fiction movie.
11:17Interesting.
11:17It transcends the Star Trek universe, I think.
11:20Yeah.
11:21It's of its time, isn't it?
11:22It's very much Cold War era science fiction, isn't it?
11:25Mm-hmm.
11:25And, you know, making peace with the Russians, our sworn enemy.
11:29Yeah.
11:29That's right.
11:30Kirk the racist.
11:31Kirk the racist.
11:32That's right.
11:32Yeah.
11:32Let them die.
11:35We don't trust them.
11:36I hate them.
11:37You know, let's let them die.
11:38One of the guys says, the opportunity here is to bring them to their knees.
11:42That's right.
11:43Then we will be in a position to talk.
11:45Exactly.
11:48Yeah, that's a great scene though, isn't it?
11:50No, there are so many great scenes.
11:51Don't wait for the translation!
11:53Answer me now!
11:54They have that awful dinner, don't they?
11:55Yes.
11:55Where they invite the Klingons over and it's all really awkward and everything.
11:58Yes.
11:59And then the girl Klingon starts giving it the inalienable human rights.
12:03That's right.
12:04Yeah.
12:04Only if you could hear yourselves.
12:06The Federation is a...
12:07She basically says the Federation is a white man only zone, doesn't she?
12:11Yeah, that's right.
12:12But she says it in science fiction terms.
12:14Yeah, yeah.
12:14Saying this old guard that exists, you know, aren't willing to accept Klingons among its
12:20members.
12:21Very interesting stuff.
12:22Right.
12:23I was telling you about the lawyer, wasn't I?
12:24Yes, that's right.
12:25So he can do...
12:26He can get you out of trouble, right?
12:27So if you're on warning, if you've had 20 deaths in a day and it's saying, you know,
12:30more deaths and it's game over for you, you can go to the lawyer and he can do his legal
12:34defense, which costs $50,000 and takes three hours.
12:38And he effectively puts in the paperwork to get you out off the hook for that particular
12:44offense.
12:45But here's the rub.
12:47You have to be prepared in advance, right?
12:49The legal prep takes 72 hours, which is longer than the normal 24 hour warning period
12:54that you get for a game over event.
12:55So you need to have invested your $50,000 and 72 hours of your lawyer's time to get
13:00it ready to go.
13:01And then you've got this kind of extra life if you need it.
13:04You've got your get out of jail free card.
13:06That's what it is.
13:07Your get out of jail free card.
13:08But once it's used up, it's used up.
13:10Yeah.
13:12So I ran a little survey of our customers and found out some interesting facts.
13:21I found out that about 40% are younger than 17.
13:25I was a bit surprised about that.
13:26I found out that 90% of them were male.
13:30I was a bit surprised about that as well.
13:32Even though I know that that's pretty much correct across the gaming world.
13:37I did think we had a few more female players.
13:4010% female players is actually quite high.
13:43Yeah, it's doing well.
13:45You've got to look at that one.
13:46Yeah.
13:47Yeah.
13:47And I also found out that 60% of our audience use Facebook.
13:52Mm-hmm.
13:53Everyone uses Facebook.
13:55Facebook has like a billion users.
13:57But we don't.
13:58I use Facebook.
13:59Well, not for internet stuff.
14:01I just recently looked at pictures of your one-year-old boy on Facebook.
14:05Well, yes.
14:05Because I came to your party.
14:06Yes.
14:07But I think my wife put those up.
14:08Well, there you go.
14:09There you go.
14:10You see, your family uses Facebook.
14:12Probably.
14:12And I read those updates on Facebook.
14:14So, I think that we should encourage people to follow us on Facebook.
14:19And we should use it more to communicate what's going on.
14:21Because I think that will, you know, that will resonate with our audience.
14:25And I did see that you've already started doing that.
14:29And I saw a picture of your new Apple Watch.
14:31That's right.
14:31Yes.
14:32I'm wearing it now.
14:33And I can assume that that means only one thing.
14:36That I have an Apple Watch?
14:38That there's going to be a port of Prison Architect to the Apple Watch.
14:43You heard it here first.
14:46We're going to do the Prison Architect Watch Edition.
14:50Watch Edition.
14:51We probably can't call it the Watch Edition.
14:52That's probably a trademarked term.
14:54The Watch Edition.
14:55Oh, yes.
14:55We need to do the Prison Architect, Prison Architect Edition.
14:58Wrist Edition.
15:00Wrist Edition.
15:01Can you explain to me the thinking behind calling something the Its Name Edition?
15:04I know.
15:05I mean, it's the Watch.
15:06And then you have the Watch Edition.
15:08What the fuck?
15:08I don't understand it.
15:09The fuck?
15:09I don't understand it.
15:10Honestly.
15:11I don't understand it either.
15:13Yeah.
15:14So, that's exciting.
15:16And also, I announced on Facebook a little bit more information about Prison Architect's launch.
15:23Oh, right.
15:23What did you say?
15:24I said it's coming out in Q4.
15:27Hmm.
15:28So, that will be October, November, December.
15:31October, November, December.
15:33Hmm.
15:33Not going to say when, yet.
15:35Hmm.
15:35That's exciting, isn't it?
15:37Because we don't know how long it's going to take.
15:38We don't know.
15:39It depends.
15:42It depends how long it takes.
15:45Yeah.
15:45That's fair enough.
15:46Yeah.
15:46It feels like we're at that stage, doesn't it, in the project.
15:49Yeah.
15:50Do you know that August, August this year represents the fifth birthday of Prison Architect?
15:57Oh, that's crazy.
15:58I know.
15:59I know.
15:59I looked it up just this morning when I was looking around for things that I could say in
16:03this alpha video.
16:04It's all crazy that it's older than both of our children.
16:06Yeah.
16:07I know.
16:07It predates our entire families, isn't it?
16:09When we started work on Prison Architect, none of our four children existed.
16:13Yeah.
16:14We were free men, weren't we?
16:15Yeah.
16:15Well.
16:15And Tom's had a child in that time, and Johnny's had a child in that time, and Alice has
16:19had a child in that time.
16:20Yeah, yeah.
16:21We've had like 10 children in the time it's taken to make Prison Architect.
16:26It's like the godfather.
16:28Yeah.
16:28Our children.
16:29Exactly.
16:30It's just been sat there the whole time.
16:32I looked it up.
16:33It was August 2010 was when the first notes, when the infamous notebook on the plane was
16:38written.
16:39Yeah.
16:39Brilliant.
16:40So it feels to me like that's enough.
16:43Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:44It feels to me like we're coming to that stage in the project, you know.
16:48I mean, Death Row that we did last month, you know, was one of the last big things actually.
16:54Yeah.
16:55And we've got a couple more.
16:57But there's, it's feeling like a finished game now to me.
17:02It's just a lot of polish, I think.
17:04Lots of polish.
17:04And a few things that we've got, you know, we've been working on.
17:08Yeah.
17:09But it doesn't feel like there's big gaping holes in the simulation anymore.
17:14Yeah.
17:14Yeah.
17:15Do you know what I mean?
17:15Yeah, absolutely.
17:16Absolutely.
17:16I think we're, we're coming to the end.
17:18All of the big feature lists that we were looking at at the start, all the ideas that
17:22we were coming up with at the start have been implemented now.
17:24So.
17:24Yeah, they're all in there.
17:25And this kind of prison is possible.
17:27This is what we said.
17:28Yes, exactly.
17:28Yes, I do remember.
17:29Yeah.
17:29All the way back at like.
17:30Yeah.
17:31The Rezzed game show, you know.
17:32That's what we said.
17:33You're going to be able to build an absolutely horrific prison where your prisoner's needs
17:36are ignored.
17:37That's right.
17:38That's right.
17:38And everyone's locked up and suppressed and can't do shit.
17:42Yeah.
17:42This is it.
17:43Yeah.
17:44It's taken until now for the simulation to reach a level of richness and maturity that
17:48it's actually possible for a player to organically build this kind of prison.
17:52Able to do it.
17:52I know.
17:53Do you feel proud?
17:54Yeah, I do actually.
17:55I really do.
17:55Yeah, I do too.
17:56I think Prison Architect is, is, is a, is a really major project for introversion.
18:04Yeah.
18:04It's, it's been a huge amount of fun to make.
18:07So everybody, that was a video.
18:11I don't know if we can really call it Alpha 32 because we hardly talked about Prison Architect
18:14did we really?
18:15Well, there wasn't a lot to say.
18:16It's been a, it's been a phenomenal successful bug bash.
18:20Yeah.
18:21That's it.
18:22You know.
18:22Normal service will be resumed next month.
18:25And so we'll be talking more about the game and less about what Mark and Chris think
18:28about movies.
18:29I hope you've enjoyed it.
18:30If you've not already bought Prison Architect, you can buy it from Steam and our website.
18:34Thank you very much.
18:34See you in a month.
18:36Bye.
18:45So, um, I've got a confession.
18:47Okay.
18:50Um, I've got, I'm feeling incredibly excited about a film.
18:56And I think you know me well enough to be able to know what film I'm talking about.
19:05I'm, yeah, I fucking loved it too, mate.
19:07I loved it too.
19:08And I'm scared to love again, you know?
19:10Yes.
19:10Yes.
19:10I'm scared to risk it, to risk the chance that, um, even though he's not involved anymore,
19:18you know, Lucas's arm is still long, isn't it?
19:21You know?
19:21Yeah.
19:22And he can still fuck this shit up.
19:24Yes, he could.
19:26He could.
19:26But it was, it was just brilliant.
19:29It was a fucking brilliant trailer, wasn't it?
19:31Yeah.
19:32I didn't, I didn't, I didn't quite get it.
19:35I thought I was watching, I thought I wasn't watching the official trailer.
19:39Yeah.
19:39When I saw that.
19:40Because they looked the same.
19:41You thought it was like a fan edit or something.
19:42Like, oh, if only, if only it was like this, you know?
19:45They looked the same, you know?
19:47Mm.
19:48But it's just.
19:49That, that, that trailer really did, um, really did do all the right things.
19:54Yeah.
19:54To reassure me, you know?
19:55That, that, um, it didn't have that awful shiny CG look that the prequels.
20:00No, no.
20:01That the episode one, two, and three always had.
20:03It didn't have that awful wooden Natalie Portman acting and that stupid boy that played Anakin
20:08that were just terrible.
20:10Yeah.
20:10It didn't have Jar Jar.
20:11It, what it had was just back to the, back to the old style.
20:15Everything looked really gritty and dirty.
20:17And, and.
20:17It just, it looked beautiful as well.
20:19That Star Destroyer crash in the desert.
20:20Yeah, exactly.
20:21Yeah.
20:21It just looked, it's like, you remember, it's such an iconic scene when Luke is looking
20:26out over the two sons.
20:27Yeah.
20:28You know, and the music's playing and he's becoming, he's going from Anakin the farm boy
20:33to.
20:34It's not Anakin.
20:34Skywalker that, you know.
20:36Sorry, not Anakin.
20:37Yeah.
20:37I mean, of course it's Luke, isn't he?
20:38But he's going from, he's going from just being like a naive farm lad to this, this
20:44Basically the magic that they had in the originals that, that was totally missing in the, not
20:50only the sequel, not only the prequels, but also the re-releases had the same problem.
20:55You know?
20:56Yes.
20:56This is part of why I think that it stirs up such strong emotions in people that.
21:00Yeah.
21:00In, in 1997, when CG wasn't really that good yet and still kind of looked a bit fake and
21:06plasticky.
21:08Lucas decided to go and re-insert a load of shit CG into the original films.
21:12Yeah.
21:12He put a load of really crap 3D shots into the original films that didn't look right at
21:16at all and look totally out of place.
21:18Yeah.
21:18And just basically butchered it and immediately reminded you that you're watching a remake.
21:22And then a few years later, he went back and just sodomized the grave once again by, by
21:28retroactively adding in pictures of all the actors in the prequels, you know?
21:32That's right.
21:32Practically added Jar Jar Binks into the original theories, you know, just to, for consistency
21:36when everyone hated those characters.
21:39And he just really, really fucked it, you know?
21:41And even now, even now with modern CG, it would be a challenge to add CG to the original
21:47Star Wars that looked as if it was in place.
21:49Yes.
21:49But doing it back then was an impossibility.
21:52And Lucas never had, never had the kind of insight to realize that that was not going
21:57to work.
21:58The wrong thing to do.
21:59Yeah, exactly.
22:00And then, you know.
22:01But those, the middle three, they're old movies now.
22:05Yeah.
22:05You know, the middle three, they're 10 years old now.
22:08Yeah.
22:08You're talking about the prequels?
22:10No.
22:11I'm talking, yeah, whatever they're called, Revenge of the Sith Lord, you know, I don't
22:15even know what they're called.
22:15They haven't aged at all well.
22:17I mean, they weren't good.
22:18No.
22:18They weren't good films first time around.
22:20No.
22:20They were awful films first time around.
22:23But the CG, the heavy use of CG and green screening that he just relied on to get all
22:31those shots just looks shit when you're watching it again now.
22:34It looks so bad.
22:35It looks like a graphics demo from the early 2000s, you know?
22:38Yeah.
22:39They were like the steps that you had to take to get to, I don't know, Avatar or, you know,
22:47Gladiator or whatever film used CG properly.
22:50And it's such a crippling shame that Star Wars was the franchise that was used to take
22:54those steps.
22:54Yeah, I know.
22:55It was only one of many mistakes, though.
22:58That was only one.
22:58You could forgive that if the story and the characters were great like the original Star
23:03Wars films were.
23:03Yeah, that's right.
23:04Because the original Star Wars films had some fairly dodgy special effects.
23:08Yeah.
23:08Well, and some dodgy dialogue and things.
23:11Dodgy dialogue.
23:11Absolutely.
23:12Yeah.
23:12But it was much more kind of, it has aged a lot better.
23:17I mean, those films have aged a lot better because the effects of things, like the things
23:20like the opening shot of, you know, episode four, the big Star Destroyer going over head,
23:26never looked shit.
23:27No.
23:28Even now.
23:28No.
23:28It was a miniature.
23:30And it just looks good.
23:31It's a Star Destroyer going over your head.
23:33That's what it is.
23:33Exactly.
23:34That's what it was.
23:35And it didn't need to be CG, right?
23:37No.
23:37Because it looked perfectly fine as a lit model.
23:39Exactly.
23:39A big ass model.
23:40You can't make it look any better than that.
23:42Yeah.
23:43You can't, all you can use a computer to do with that shot is make it cheaper maybe.
23:48Yeah.
23:49Because you can create it.
23:49Or the lasers.
23:50The after effects.
23:51That's what you use.
23:51Yeah, maybe the lasers.
23:53Yeah.
23:53Yeah.
23:53Yeah.
23:53Things like that.
23:54But the imposing, the sense of scale that you get when that thing rumbles over your head.
24:00Yeah.
24:00Exactly.
24:00And you've got to remember, the audiences had seen that before.
24:03They'd seen, I can't remember quite the order.
24:06Like 2001 and stuff.
24:08Yeah.
24:08There were other space science fiction films.
24:10Slow moving space shots.
24:11Yeah.
24:12And that's what Star Wars started out as.
24:14So it says, here you go.
24:15Yeah.
24:15This is a language that you understand.
24:17Here is a big spaceship slowly moving across the-
24:20That's right.
24:20Yeah.
24:21It actually opens with a rebel ship, doesn't it?
24:22Just going underneath.
24:23And it's like, that's an enormous ship.
24:25And then the Star Destroyer goes overhead.
24:27Yeah.
24:28It's like, oh my God, that's a fucking gigantic ship.
24:31Yeah.
24:31Look at the size of that thing.
24:32But then, later, you get the TIE fighters.
24:35And that had never been used before.
24:36I forget what they called it.
24:37You know, when they put their cameras on.
24:40Yeah, the motion tracking stuff.
24:41Yeah, motion tracking things.
24:42Absolutely, yeah.
24:43So basically, the model stays still.
24:45Yeah.
24:45And the cameras perform the inverse move around the model.
24:47That's right.
24:48To create your shot.
24:49And then you compose it all at the end.
24:50And it just looks.
24:51It's very interesting to me that modern day filmmakers that need to use a lot of effects,
24:57like Interstellar and the like, actually rely much more on models and miniatures now.
25:01And the Lord of the Rings films as well.
25:03Do you think that-
25:04There's a lot of CG in those films, but they also used very, very big models to create their
25:08spaces just because they felt the result was better.
25:11Yeah.
25:12I wonder if that is like a fashion thing.
25:15I don't think so.
25:17No, I don't think so.
25:17I think it is just that CG isn't that good.
25:22It's very, very difficult to create environments and big things that look big convincingly in
25:27CG and actually filming real models is a-
25:30It's a way to go.
25:31It gives a much better result.
25:32A scale model, like a 10 to 1 scale model that's been detailed by thousands of artists
25:37and stuff.
25:38And, you know, it's, it always looks better.
25:40Yeah.
25:40It's not as bad as it was in episode one and stuff where every spaceship looked like it
25:43was shiny, smooth, and had been, you know, buffed to a high sheen.
25:47Yeah.
25:47The original Star Wars models were covered in shit and dirt and the lightsabers, all
25:51that equipment was all really dirty and grubby.
25:53And you kind of forgot that that was the look of the Star Wars world.
25:57Yeah.
25:57Yeah.
25:57And so, yeah, I think that, I just think that it's something that CG will never be as
26:02good at, you know?
26:03Yeah.
26:03The models will always be better.
26:05I just, they, their, their marketing is working because I will be in the cinema without my
26:11children.
26:12Yeah.
26:12Without my wife.
26:13Right.
26:14Yeah.
26:14When it launches, whatever it is, boxing day or something, whenever it launches, I will
26:18be watching the premiere of that next.
26:20Do you remember when we were students, we went to see Star Wars episode two in the cinema
26:27in, in Leicester Square.
26:29And, um, uh, C Thipio was there.
26:33Oh, yes.
26:33Do you remember that?
26:34Of course.
26:35Yeah.
26:35Anthony Daniels.
26:36Yeah.
26:36That's right.
26:36And he was there and he came out and he kind of, he kind of warmed up the crowd a
26:40bit,
26:40didn't he?
26:40And he got everyone, he got everyone to do the Ewok, um, worship dance, didn't he?
26:45Yeah.
26:45And, uh, and then the film started and that was, that was the last moment I had any fun
26:49that evening.
26:50Cause yeah.
26:51Cause I thought, you know, I thought this is the film where he can pull it back.
26:54Right.
26:54Episode one.
26:55Wasn't that great.
26:56All right.
26:56But I think we're done with Jar Jar at least, you know, let's get, let's get back to Star
27:00Wars now.
27:01And then it was just fucking atrocious.
27:03Right.
27:04Just that fucking Hayden wants this face that played Anakin, the sport, the sport teenager.
27:09Yeah.
27:09And then ended on the topic we've just been talking about with a CG Yoda, Yoda having
27:14a lightsaber fight with, um, with Saruman.
27:18It just looked ridiculous.
27:19It was fucking fighting Saruman, wasn't it?
27:20With a lightsaber.
27:21And he's going, ah, ah, and doing all these ridiculous spins in the air and everything.
27:24And Yoda had been like this wise old man, you know, who just walked around and stuff
27:28in it as a puppet.
27:29And it just, to me, that was the, that was, that was everything that was wrong with Star
27:34Wars right there.
27:36Yeah, exactly.
27:36It was like, I felt Lucas behind me, you know?
27:40Yeah.
27:40Yeah.
27:40Yeah, exactly.
27:42Yeah.
27:43No, my childhood was, was, was dying right there.
27:46And it really, it really was start the Star Wars films really were going to be like
27:50some of the worst films ever made.
27:51I couldn't believe it.
27:52You know, they'd gone from being my all time favorites to this is some of the worst shit
27:57I've ever seen.
27:57Yeah, exactly.
27:58Just, just stuff that you would never talk about or remember just fade into oblivion,
28:03but it didn't, it picked up a whole new audience.
28:05So I guess in, in, in that, in that way, you have to kind of.
28:10Yeah.
28:10Well, we'll, we'll wait and see if the next three are as good.
28:15If they take us back, then we'll have to, to give some credit to the, the middle three
28:20that kept the franchise alive.
28:21I suppose, I suppose.
28:23Yeah.
28:24I don't know.
28:24Well, maybe not.
28:25Maybe that's like, maybe that's like saying the abusive Godfather.
28:28But I still have, but I still just.
28:30Yeah.
28:30But I still, I don't, you know, I don't hate George Lucas or anything, despite everything
28:33I've said.
28:34You do.
28:34You do.
28:35And if you don't.
28:36No, because I still love the original films.
28:37I still, I still love the original films.
28:40They're still wonderful films, you know, that they are still wonderful.
28:43And I don't know whether you're getting your hopes up badly because it's J.J. Abrams,
28:47isn't it?
28:48Yeah.
28:48And we just said earlier about, I mean, I know for a fact that you hate the Star Trek reboot.
28:53I do.
28:54You hate it with a passion.
28:56Yeah.
28:56And it's going to be the same.
28:57It's going to be more of the same.
28:58It's going to be all our action.
28:59There's going to be.
29:00I just, I just, well, no, what I hate about it is I just, I, well, there was, there
29:05were watching those.
29:08There was, there were a lot of nods back to the original series.
29:10And I, I quite like, that Star Galactica made me just hunger for gritty, dark, ultra realistic
29:18sci-fi.
29:20And the, the, the rebooting of Star Trek, the two major mistakes where firstly, I just
29:25couldn't believe any of the sets.
29:26The engineering set is just ridiculous, you know, that, that, that you would build such
29:30a cavernous void.
29:32Obviously it's a huge open space.
29:34Spaceship.
29:34It's just, it's like when some, isn't some idiot being zoomed around in Jeffrey's tubes
29:38or something.
29:38Anyway, it's just, it was ridiculous.
29:40And also Kirk is a man, not a boy.
29:44Right.
29:45You know, he's not a boy.
29:47If you look at.
29:48Well, he kind of was a boy in the original Star Trek series.
29:51I don't know that he was.
29:52I think he was, he was, he was in his thirties at least.
29:55Wasn't he?
29:55I understand what you say.
29:56You're saying that the character behaves very much like a boy.
29:59I mean, he bullies his way around.
30:00He effectively mutinies his way to captain.
30:02Doesn't he?
30:03And then he takes, and then he takes over and then he's an awesome captain.
30:06And I, well, but I hated that.
30:09Oh, hang on.
30:12What the fuck is that?
30:17How many times have I told you to put your phone on?
30:19Do not disturb.
30:28If you think about Top Gun, right?
30:31Yeah.
30:33Maverick and Goose and Slider, they're all boys, right?
30:38Yeah.
30:39They're fly jock boys.
30:40And they're great at that.
30:42You know, they're taking all the risks.
30:43They're up there in the, in the plains.
30:45You know, they've got a simple job to do, which is, you know, take off and fight the fight.
30:50Right.
30:51The captain of the carrier is an old man.
30:54Right.
30:54You know, because he doesn't take all the risks.
30:57Right.
30:58He has to, you know, maintain the fleet.
31:00He has to think strategically.
31:01He has to have more gravitas, you know.
31:04So the guy, he's telling them, you guys are going to be flying Robert Dawkins out of Hong Kong.
31:09You know, he's an old man.
31:11Older anyway.
31:12Yeah.
31:12And that's, and that's where I want Kirk to be.
31:14So you're saying that the Kirk, the Kirk in the reboot is completely unbelievable because
31:18he's still a childish, risky boy.
31:21Yes.
31:22He doesn't give a flying fuck that he's, he's got a one in three chance of blowing the entire
31:26ship up for his operation.
31:27Exactly.
31:28Starfleet, which is a, which is a, an organization, a real organization in the future that we haven't
31:34seen in my, in my world.
31:36Right.
31:36It exists, could never employ that Jim Kirk in that role.
31:41Yeah.
31:41Therefore.
31:42Well, they don't employ him in that role.
31:43They, they, he mutinies his way up to that role, doesn't he?
31:46He puts people out of action and then he, and then he goads Spock, the more experienced
31:52captain into, you know, I've had an emotional response.
31:55I need to step down and then he fucking takes over.
31:59Well, I still don't, I still, I don't like it.
32:01Yeah.
32:02I don't like it.
32:03The second, the second one, the second Star Trek movie I enjoyed a bit more because I think
32:07because I've got, I'd gotten over it.
32:10Yeah.
32:10Yeah.
32:10Cumberbatch's a good, bad guy.
32:12You know, he's, Cumberbatch's always good at everything he does, but it's nice to see
32:15Cumberbatch not playing an eccentric British genius.
32:18And I thought I'd, I, you know, I'd also put aside my gripes against the, against young
32:23Kirk.
32:24Fair enough.
32:25Well, he's a little bit more older and experienced.
32:26Exactly.
32:27He is, he is, which is, which is what I want to, what I want to see.
32:30And so hopefully Abrams won't put, I mean, you see, it's like, if you look at Star Wars,
32:37they're very similar parallels here, right?
32:39Because Luke is very young.
32:42Yeah.
32:42So don't get me wrong.
32:43But all he does is he flies an X-wing around, right?
32:47Yeah.
32:47They don't say to Luke, oh, here you go.
32:49You can be, you can be commander of the fleet.
32:51Yeah.
32:52No, I understand what you're saying.
32:53Yeah, absolutely.
32:54And Luke's, Luke's journey in the original three films is from a boy to in the middle
32:59film, he goes off half caught.
33:01Yeah.
33:01And he pays for it.
33:03Yeah.
33:03Right.
33:03Because he almost loses his life and it's a completely disastrous encounter.
33:07And it's only by the time that he gets to the third film that he's gained enough
33:11gravitas and wisdom to actually confront Vader properly.
33:14Yes.
33:14You know?
33:15And that's, and that's important, but it's so, so the Kirk in the Star Trek films is
33:21still the Kirk from the Empire Strikes Back.
33:23Yeah.
33:23Right.
33:24And he would just lose.
33:25He would lose all the time because he's an angry boy.
33:28Yeah, that's right.
33:28He's not thinking properly, you know, and he needs to be, he needs to be in control of
33:32himself.
33:32Yeah.
33:33Yeah.
33:33Yeah.
33:33I don't know.
33:33I hope, I really hope so.
33:36Yeah, I do.
33:37I really hope so.
33:38It's, I didn't, I, yeah, I'd love there to be three awesome new Star Wars movies.
33:44Yeah.
33:45I know.
33:45But it might just be one of those things where, you know, you're not seven.
33:49Yeah, true.
33:50You're just not, you're just not seven and.
33:52But you can still have wonderful experiences in the cinema, mate.
33:54You can still, you know.
33:56You can.
33:56The cinema can make you feel like you're seven.
33:58Of course, but, but the things that we love now are always like, you know, the things
34:02we always talk about are always like gritty, dark, Nolan shit.
34:07Yeah.
34:07You know what I mean?
34:07Yeah, yeah.
34:07With really profound stuff going on in deep in its themes.
34:10Yeah.
34:10And I don't know if Star Wars is the right universe for that kind of thing.
34:15Yeah.
34:15You know what I mean?
34:15Yeah, no, I do.
34:16I do know what you mean.
34:17Just don't know.
34:17Well, the earlier things were supposed to be funny.
34:18Put it, man.
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