- 2 months ago
Jay Kess was a fever dream... comment your favorite sim below mine is still jakeS tho
Aksually Archive is not associated with or run by Aksually. For business inquiries contact aksually@gmail.com
Aksel's Twitch - twitch.tv/aksually
Aksel's Twitter - twitter.com/aksually
Aksually Archive is not associated with or run by Aksually. For business inquiries contact aksually@gmail.com
Aksel's Twitch - twitch.tv/aksually
Aksel's Twitter - twitter.com/aksually
Category
š®ļø
GamingTranscript
00:02Oh my god another one
00:11No, no, what the fuck just happened
00:28Okay, go to oh my god, he's living who the fuck no, this is what we're gonna do, okay?
00:37She can come live in this house
00:41Who the fuck are you, dude? Who is that? Wait, are they what are they related or married?
00:46They've got to be siblings. That's his sister. Okay, he can she can fucking live in here
00:52We're not fucking dealing with her, okay?
00:54He never even told us about it. Are we transferring all the money?
00:57Oh yeah, dude, we're fucking we're leaving or we're nothing
01:02All right, have fun, girl
01:06What if that ruins our relationship like you ruined my sister's life?
01:11I don't know how you had the power to do this, but
01:14Nah, dude, she's a fucking vampire. She'll find her way
01:17That's true
01:20They look like a fish
01:24No, they don't
01:29Oh my
01:43Oh my god, they're arguing politics
01:49I don't like ships, but I like two smiley faces
01:52Oh no, fuck that shit
01:54You like two smiley faces?
01:55I think they're pretty good
01:56I like a stage with the curtain open
02:00Yeah, a stage with the curtain open is pretty cool
02:02I like two people holding hands
02:04Two men holding hands
02:06I think that's pretty neat
02:08All right, I'm getting out of here
02:11Dude
02:11He just
02:12Yo
02:14What the fuck is so repulsive about us?
02:24Please fuck me
02:25Please
02:26I'm on my knees
02:28Oh no, I'm doing the virgin walk
02:43I can hate you so much
02:44I'm gonna kill your boyfriend
02:45I don't care
02:46Who are you?
02:48It's a child
02:50Stop looking
02:51This is so embarrassing
02:52I'm going through literally the lowest point of my life
02:54And you're fucking looking at me?
02:56Fuck you
02:57I don't even know what the face looks like
02:59He's asking
02:59Yeah, dude
03:00What?
03:01Romance
03:02Romance
03:02It's down there
03:03Romance?
03:04Flirtation?
03:04Oh my god, dude
03:06You're actually a sex offender
03:08You're going to prison
03:09You're going to prison
03:10Oh my god, dude
03:12You're going to prison
03:13What the fuck
03:17Now, which one of these will be my next maiden?
03:22Oh my god
03:24What the hell is this fucking shit?
03:25I moved into fucking Reddit city, bro
03:28There's a guy named my dick
03:38Ooh, Beverly
03:43Jay Likey
03:44Alright, little simsy
03:45What are you fucking living in fucking 1985?
03:48Where's the goddamn computer, dude?
03:54It seems today
03:55And all you see
03:57Is violence in movies
03:59And sex on TV
04:01But where are those good old-fashioned values
04:04On which we used to rely?
04:08Everyone's a family guy
04:13Wait, is this birthday?
04:15Like, tomorrow?
04:17Whoa, whoa!
04:32Dude, this is literally going to my playlist
04:38That is so fucking good
04:39Holy shit
04:42I'm already working on my Spring 22 playlist
04:44And I just put it in it
04:46It's going to be like
04:46I think it's like track number five
04:49This song was made for mentally ill people for real
04:51No, dude
04:51That song literally transcends language
04:53Because the lyrics are
04:58And it fucking hits, dude
05:00I literally want to cry
05:02Because I realized that I have a very angry
05:04You did not know
05:06I did know, actually
05:07I knew exactly that was going to happen
05:08Because you guys accused me of misogyny
05:10Every single day at this point
05:12And I was like
05:13Oh, if I don't make a woman sim
05:16They're going to get mad
05:17And I was right
05:18So
05:19We're going to make two sims
05:21Okay?
05:23Because
05:25I don't know
05:26Why not?
05:26That way
05:27I feel like everyone's happy
05:28And that's not to say
05:29That I wouldn't be happy
05:30If it was just a girl
05:31Okay?
05:31That's not
05:35That's not
05:36What I was trying to say
05:37But
05:37You know
05:39Can you do
05:40Thought daughter gay son?
05:44Oh, whoa
05:45Relax out there, man
05:48Oh
05:49Oh
05:49Oh
05:49Oh
05:50Oh
05:50Oh
05:50Oh
06:09Backseaters incoming
06:10No, literally
06:10Okay
06:11Here's a little note
06:13To all the backseaters
06:14When you think
06:16It's ugly because of my building style
06:18I'm actually one-to-one
06:20Replicating my childhood home
06:22So
06:23It's true to life
06:24And you don't know
06:25What you're talking about
06:25Oh
06:26Dude
06:26That's another thing
06:27I have to include this
06:28Okay
06:29In like 2009
06:31My dad
06:32Literally somehow
06:33Like
06:34Got an excavator
06:35To come to our house
06:36And he said
06:37Son
06:38We're going to make a pond
06:40And then the excavator came
06:42And just like
06:43Fucking
06:45And dug this like
06:46Huge hole
06:51Just like
06:52Gigantic
06:52Fucking hole
06:54In the middle
06:56Of our
06:57Of our home
07:04There's a pond tool
07:05We won't need the pond tool
07:06Because the pond
07:08Never fucking happened
07:09Alright
07:10There was just a huge hole
07:12There
07:13And there still is
07:13Just a huge hole
07:14Because the pond
07:16Never fucking happened
07:17Okay
07:18I had kids
07:19Sometimes
07:20And this is a true story
07:21I would have friends come over
07:23And we would have nothing to do
07:24So we would just run around
07:26The walls of this fucking hole
07:28And like
07:29I had like a bunch of my classmates
07:30Come over once
07:31And all these kids
07:32Were just running around
07:33On the walls of this hole
07:36And they're like
07:37This is so fun
07:41No way it was that deep
07:42Well
07:43I'm not gonna lie
07:44It did
07:46It's a little bit deeper
07:47Than I would like it to be
07:48It was more like
07:51It was more like this
07:52But it was
07:53It was a
07:53It was a significant
07:55Hole
07:56Okay
07:59He literally
07:59I don't know how he had the money for this
08:02Because literally like
08:03The month before
08:04My class was having a field trip
08:06And I had to go to my teacher
08:07Be like
08:07I can't come
08:08Because I can't afford
08:09So my teacher paid
08:11For me to go on the field trip
08:12And then the next month
08:13An excavator comes to our house
08:15And
08:17Digs a huge hole
08:18And leaves
08:19Do that
08:34Imagine dragons
08:36Is literally the band
08:37That was like
08:37Enough to make my sister moan
08:40And you guys fucking support that shit
08:41Uh-uh
08:43That's gross
08:44Moans enough to make my sister moan
08:48Welcome to the new age
08:56Did it not say that?
08:57They literally said that
08:58They literally wanted to make their sister moan
09:02Really fucking weird
09:04I did not say sister moan
09:06It's just
09:06It's a common misconception
09:07The lyrics
09:08They sound like that
09:09I did not say
09:10I want to make my sister moan
09:11That is
09:12Gross and weird
09:13That's just what the lyrics
09:14They sound like that sometimes
09:16But it says
09:17Something related to systems
09:26He's a whelm
09:28No
09:29Not in front of the hoes
09:50Hold on a minute
09:53Can you bring him back please?
09:56That's fucked up man
09:58What the hell?
09:59Okay
10:00We made the burgers
10:01We're fine
10:04Oh my fucking god
10:06Oh my fucking god dude
10:12Oh my fucking god
10:19Bengala?
10:20Bengala
10:22I'm not going
10:23I thought you were about to call it bin Laden
10:24Bin Lala?
10:37What is happening?
10:46What is happening?
10:47What is happening?
10:48Dude
10:48Why is my fucking house getting bombed right now?
11:03Here lies
11:05Somewhat missed
11:13Take the beard off for a second
11:14Wait you're right
11:16Let's take the beard off
11:17And see how it compares
11:19Oh my god
11:24Did you have a car?
11:26Yeah we had a car
11:27But my dad's license expired in like 2001
11:31So sometimes like he would drive it around on like the dirt roads and then the police would arrest him
11:37And it was like this old like bean down Honda
11:39And then
11:41My mom randomly gave it to this like kid
11:44Like literally like a 17 year old
11:47And then like he like burned it down or something
11:49I don't know what the whole like thing was that
11:51What that was
11:53This sounds like it's made up
11:54But there were literally like kids running from the police
11:57Related to that
11:58Who like ended up on our property
12:01During the police search
12:02That's like a whole
12:03I don't know dude
12:03That's a crazy
12:05I don't really know what was up with that
12:07I was too young
12:10So he's just dead
12:15Oh my god
12:17Kiss
12:17Family kiss
12:18I'm sorry
12:19I have to see what this is
12:21What the fuck is a family kiss?
12:34Dude that made her social go right up
12:43Died a virgin
12:47You don't have to bring that up man
12:49That's fucked up
12:53Ew he farted
13:02Oh maybe he can just run through here
13:04Surely
13:06Oh he's stuck
13:08Oh this is bad
13:12Oh no
13:27Alright well
13:28Something has to be done about this
13:36Dude
13:36Death is dying in that fire
13:48Literally two days alive
13:56We'll be right over
13:57Dude please
13:58My kitchen's burning down
13:59Unfortunately the people who live here have left while you were on your way
14:13You fucking
14:22Okay he's gay
14:23He's gay as hell
14:24What the hell was that?
14:24For real this is not thought daughter
14:26You guys are saying that because
14:28She has a huge forehead and she's ginger
14:31You are
14:32You people are sick
14:34Okay
14:34You can be a thought daughter
14:36While you're ginger
14:37And have a huge forehead
14:39Okay
14:39I've met many of them in my life
14:41And they're great people
14:43He is
14:44I know where you live
14:49The game just stalks you
14:51And I know where you live
15:05Taking a taxi to a murder
15:08Also
15:09There was like a ruin
15:11Of a barn
15:11Right next to this house
15:12Like a stone barn
15:14That was burned down
15:15In arson
15:15In the
15:16In the 1900s
15:18There were two rival
15:20Cattle motherfuckers
15:21You know
15:22They would raise their cattle
15:23And stuff
15:24And then the
15:25Guy that lived
15:26On the other side of the forest
15:27He said
15:28You know what
15:30Fuck you
15:31And fuck your cows
15:32I'm gonna burn down your barn
15:34With the cows inside
15:36And then they did that
15:37So then there was
15:39Like a bunch of ruins
15:39On my
15:40On my
15:41F***ing
15:41My land
15:42And like
15:43There was like
15:43Cow skulls
15:44I'd like
15:45I'd like to dig through
15:46These ruins
15:46There was like
15:47There was cow skulls
15:48Everywhere
15:49It was kind of crazy
15:50And teeth
15:52There are a lot of teeth
15:54I just don't believe you
15:56The thing is
15:57Is like
15:57I
15:57Believe me
16:00I'm planning on exaggerating
16:01Some details
16:01So far
16:02Haven't exaggerated anything
16:04It's
16:08Wait what
16:09Jake Hess
16:10Has experienced
16:10Personality swap
16:11From being delusional
16:12He no longer
16:13Has the following traits
16:14Flirty
16:14Inappropriate
16:15Kleptomaniac
16:15Diva
16:15Jake Hess
16:16Will now have
16:16The following traits
16:17Party animal
16:17Vegetarian
16:18Frugal
16:18Coward
16:19If he does not
16:20Get admitted
16:20To the hospital
16:21Soon
16:21These new traits
16:22Will become permanent
16:24What
16:25Dude
16:25I'm f***ing
16:26Two days into my stay
16:27And I already
16:28Got to be
16:28F***ing admitted
16:29To a psych ward
16:30Oh my god
16:32What the f***
16:33I didn't even know
16:33That was a part
16:34Of the game
16:35Oh here we go
16:37Change face
16:39How do I make
16:40The forehead
16:40Even bigger
16:41Oh
16:42Here we go
16:44Oh
16:46Shit
16:48Oh my god
16:51You're just
16:52Making yourself
16:53I'm not
16:53Making myself
16:58Eww
17:00Do I have
17:01Enough money
17:01I don't think
17:02I do actually
17:04How much money
17:05Do I have
17:05Oh my god
17:07I can't afford
17:08The pistol
17:13Oh my f***ing god
17:15I can't even f***ing
17:16Kill myself
17:18When you're too poor
17:19To f***ing kill yourself
17:20Man
17:20This is
17:21This is horrible
17:23I hate you
17:24I hate you
17:25I hate you Carrie
17:25You've ruined my life
17:26Stop flirting with me
17:27You've ruined everything
17:30I gotta go to the park
17:31And aggressively
17:32Do my
17:32Street magician
17:34Skills
17:39Saw your furniture
17:41Oh my god
17:42Wait
17:42True
17:42Oh my god
17:56Who the f***ing
18:11Who the f***ing are
18:13Come out Darren
18:14Come out Darren
18:15You think it's funny
18:15I need to f***ing fuck
18:16With Jay Kes
18:19Come out you son of a b***h
18:28Come out
18:30Oh is that Darren
18:31Oh I saw him
18:33Let me
18:34Get out of the way
18:35Get out of the woman
18:35Get out of the way woman
18:49Oh no
19:07Love love
19:09Oh
19:10Oh
19:10Oh
19:10Oh
19:11Oh
19:11Wait
19:12What
19:14What
19:15What did she f***ing
19:15Change her mind
19:16Oh
19:16Oh
19:17Oh
19:17Oh
19:18Oh
19:18Oh
19:19Oh
19:21How do I shoot you
19:22Do I have to greet you
19:24Rude introduction
19:25F*** you
19:26You sp***
19:26You took the love of my life
19:28Away from you
19:28And you
19:28You impregnated her
19:30In the space of 24 hours
19:32Wake up
19:34Oh my god
19:35I can commit suicide
19:36I don't want to do that
19:37Ah
19:43Fuck you
19:44You stupid bitch
19:53Yes
19:54Look at this woman
19:56Your so-called husband
19:58Was shot dead
19:59In front of you
20:00No less than five seconds ago
20:01And you're already flirting
20:03With me
20:03You're a sick person
20:08You are ill
20:10Anyways
20:11Console
20:12I'm about to console
20:13My way to some pussy
20:14Dude
20:15Fireplace treasure chests
20:16Around this island
20:17That are filled with
20:18Man
20:18If I don't
20:19Let me just
20:21If anyone
20:37No no no
20:38It's gonna work
20:39Is going
20:39Before I'm doing this
20:41Rudeo's trials
20:42That would be a good time
20:46What the
20:49Wow
20:50This is so beautiful
20:52Oh my god
20:53They're all like
20:53We're missing it
20:54We're missing it
20:55What the hell
20:56Why are they over here
21:02Oh my god
21:12Oh my god
21:16Oh my god
21:17What the hell are you doing
21:17Oh my god
21:19Swipe something
21:19I'm gonna steal something
21:20From her house
21:23Oh my god
21:23No
21:24Don't steal
21:24Oh my god
21:26Quick
21:26Oh my god
21:27Yes
21:30Dude
21:31I'm gonna sell this
21:32For so much money
21:34Girl
21:35Relax
21:36I'm here for you
21:37This song does fuck
21:39Somebody shazam this
21:40I'm here for you
Comments