00:00How many KISS cruises have you done?
00:04This is a funny story.
00:05It's a sensitive question.
00:06It's a sensitive question because I've done four, I think,
00:10but I upset the KISS fans on one of them.
00:13Uh-oh.
00:13Really? You don't know about that?
00:15No.
00:16On one of the KISS cruises, I think it was the first or second one,
00:21I get on, and I'm on the KISS cruise,
00:24and I can't believe as I enter the ship,
00:28I'm like, holy shit.
00:29And I'm sure you have this feeling, too, when you go to a show,
00:32it's like, I'm friends with these people.
00:34I'm friends with the management.
00:36I'm fairly friendly with the band.
00:39I'm definitely friendly with the road crew.
00:41This is incredible.
00:43Like, I'm part of the family on some level here.
00:46Right.
00:47And then I did something on that cruise that, oh, my God, those KISS fans,
00:51they're called the KISS Army.
00:52I did something that pissed off those KISS fans.
00:55They hate me more than Gene Simmons ever did,
00:57because I met a girl who was the cruise director.
01:03She's really upbeat and pep.
01:04She's like the Julie McCoy.
01:06Right.
01:06I was going to say Julie, right, of course.
01:08Julie McCoy of the KISS cruise.
01:10And when she meets me, she goes, oh, my God, are you Craig?
01:13And I said, yeah.
01:14She goes, you're Craig Gat.
01:14You're the comedian.
01:15You're the guy who does all the voices with, like, the family guy.
01:19Do you want to do a funny announcement on the KISS cruise tomorrow morning?
01:22And I went, oh, fuck yes.
01:25Like, well, let me ask you a question.
01:27If I make an announcement, who's going to hear the announcement?
01:30And she goes, well, if you want, we can flip a switch,
01:33and it'll get piped into every cabin.
01:36And I went, flip that switch.
01:39I know exactly what I want everyone to wake up to tomorrow morning.
01:42The next morning, 3,000 of the biggest KISS fans in the world at sea woke up to
01:49bing bong.
01:50Hey, everybody.
01:51This is Paul Stanley.
01:53And this is Gene Simmons from KISS.
01:57And we have a very important announcement.
02:00Do not panic, but we have a very important announcement about the KISS cruise.
02:05At that moment, my friends on the ship said that all the fans on the boat
02:10just stopped in their tracks, and they're looking at the speakers and smiling
02:13until the next words that came out of my mouth.
02:16We've just hit an iceberg.
02:18Which, keep in mind, when I said we hit an iceberg,
02:22we're in the middle of the fucking Bahamas.
02:26There's no reason for you as an intelligent person to go,
02:28this ship's going down.
02:30This ship's going down.
02:31We're in the Bahamas.
02:32But do not panic, because KISS is going to take care of everybody.
02:37We actually have three packages to get you off the ship.
02:42First, we have the platinum package.
02:45It's $5,000.
02:47We'll put you in a life raft, and you have your own private photo
02:51and medical care from KISS.
02:53Then we have the diamond package.
02:56Isn't that right, Paul?
02:57That's right, the diamond package for $10,000,
03:01where we throw you in the ocean with Tommy and Eric,
03:06and then KISS floats by on a rack.
03:09We do a private acoustic.
03:10Everything I said was just stupid.
03:13Right.
03:13And several members of the KISS army ran to the employees and said,
03:18so KISS is going to charge us to get off the boat?
03:20Is that what's going on?
03:21They genuinely believe that KISS was capable of charging people
03:26to get out of an emergency, which was amazing.
03:29That is so funny.
03:31It says a lot about the fandom, you know what I mean?
03:33Thanks, man.
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