Exploited By My Grandparents From The Age Of 4

Unfiltered Stories

In today's episode of Unfiltered Stories we are speaking with Kate Madrazo who tells us about the horrific abuse she suffered at the hands of her grandparents from the age of 4! She survived the abuse they put her through and wants to share her story to help others...   #UnfilteredStories #Abuse #truestory   Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.   Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.  By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.   🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅  Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB  TikTok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT  Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN

Transcript

00:00My name is Kathleen Madrazo and this is the story of how I survived my grandparents' abuse as a

00:08child. I grew up in the Philippines. I have one sibling but I lived with my grandparents when I

00:16was four years old. At first I lived with my brother. When I was four years old my mother

00:22was living with my brother's dad. They fell in love with each other so later on things got rough

00:30with them so my mom thought it would be a better idea to give me to another family and that

00:39would

00:39be my grandparents since my grandparents thought why not we have the money we can afford it better

00:46so my mom thought okay I have no other way I barely have any money my parents have more money

00:54than I do I will slowly take my kids away from my abusive ex-boyfriend so that's what happened to

01:03me

01:03when they gave me to my grandparents it was at a meeting spot my grandparents owned a store

01:09and I will never forget that day it was hard my grandparents were stranger to me even though

01:17I have seen them a couple of times before and we went to this door it was already closed by

01:23then

01:23everything was dark whoa where am I my grandpa you know you see a person and they have this kind

01:31of aura

01:31in them this authoritarian aura and I was holding on close to my mom I didn't know what was going

01:38on

01:39and just when she took my hand slowly away from me that's when I realized oh she was gonna give

01:51me

01:51away and I screamed so hard I was like no no I was crying and I was hugging her so

01:57tight my step-grandma

01:58she was holding me from the back on my way is trying to grab me and my mom she was

02:03trying to

02:04like trying to let me go that was just trauma from the get-go went into the house house was

02:12big

02:13everything was cold and strange and I don't remember anybody comforting me except for one lady

02:23she was the maid we call her nanay intang in the language in the philippines nanay means

02:33mom but like a a very endearing way and I still remember her she was like a nanny to me

02:41I really loved her so much but the next day I thought it would feel better but my grandpa came

02:49again with this authoritarian figure you have to say good morning grandpa good morning grandma

02:56everything was so controlled in that house that abuse happened right away no one ever told me or

03:04explained to me that when you let out a number two as a child that it could hurt and that

03:12it's normal

03:14so I would wait as a child I guess which is and my step grandma didn't like it so I

03:20would come home with

03:21a dirty underwear and she would feed it to me I was four years old everything was so structured in

03:31the

03:31house everything has to be controlled control your manners control how you eat later on in life

03:39my grandparents they put me in a Catholic private school for girls that school was also really

03:48structured I mean I do really love that school because I made fun fun memories with a lot of kids

03:54until now I am friends with on Facebook my mom left me when I was eight years old to Germany

04:01and that was really hard for me too she met a man in Germany but she didn't know how hard

04:12the abuse

04:13was going on my grandparents never said anything she would call a couple of times one time I did tell

04:21my mom I was abused well it wasn't really telling her I was crying for help my grandpa got the

04:29idea of

04:30putting me putting me in the Philippines there are these sack of rice they're like ye tall like five

04:37foot tall and I would fit in those sack of rice and he thought if we put a sack of

04:43rice put her in a

04:44sack of rice put a little hole in it and hang her on a tree maybe that would make her

04:50grades better

04:52but my mom she coincidentally called that night I heard she called so I screamed to the top of my

04:59lungs I was like help help and that's when she heard it and I think that's when she realized

05:06something was going on but I guess her she has her own issues with her husband back then in Germany

05:12it's always about punishment in my family it it's like everything I do somehow they turn something

05:19around and make it into my fault so they would always find something for me to do to punish me

05:26like

05:27making my whole closet fold it even though the clothes already folded I would have to fold them again

05:35they would let me dust off every leaf and a plastic plant with oil to make it look nice and

05:47shiny

05:48it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like

05:54she was really old I think she was like 70 and I really felt bad for her because her and

06:00I we have a

06:01very close bond because my mom wasn't there she was like a second mom to me she was everything to

06:08me but I

06:09also had some friends from school maybe two or three we we love we did normal things as far as

06:17normal kids would do I tried to make my life as normal as possible even though my grandparents they

06:23would forbid me to go out and play my grandpa when my brother would come visit he would let us

06:29compete with

06:30each other and most of the time it's our appearances see he was a favorite grandchild he was light-skinned

06:41I am dark-skinned in the Philippines having light-skinned is a very big pride like traditionally it would

06:53mean all your family wasn't doesn't come from farmers that would burn your skin so you know you're

06:59light-skinned you're rich my grandpa thought I was so ugly like I was nine years old he said oh

07:06you you

07:07can't even be a prostitute because you're so ugly you cannot find a husband because you're so ugly you

07:16cannot even be a maid because you don't know how everything works in the house you you don't amount

07:24to anything you can't even be a mom my step grandma she did most of the abusing my grandpa would

07:33just

07:33agree with her as he was the the head of the family so my grandma would do the deed when

07:41she would find

07:42me outside to play with the other kids because as she said oh you cannot make friends with those

07:46poor kids because their parents are drug addicts and you might end up like them they're bad

07:50influence to you yeah yeah yeah if she would see me outside with them she would dig her nails in

07:57my

07:59ears and she would drag me to the gate to our house later on I always thought that that my

08:10mom

08:11mom maybe she didn't have a choice because my family is so controlling I thought maybe she just

08:19wanted to leave because of that and I thought why didn't she she bring us with her I have always

08:28thought

08:30is there something wrong with us who's gonna rescue

08:34you me from all this because I felt like I had nobody except for the maids but then it turned

08:44out

08:44that my mom didn't know how to work the papers so she needed help by my step grandma who knows

08:50maybe my step grandma prolonged it you never know so I was 14 years old when I finally got all

08:57my papers

08:58done I don't know if you still or anybody still remember the white 2k where around the 2000 they said

09:06oh it will be the apocalypse and I just wish my last wish was to see my mom again because

09:14I thought

09:15this torture will never end I was locked up sometimes in this in a place called the underground

09:23in that house where I was like a prisoner and I would be locked up there for a week

09:28sometimes they would chain me to a chair because they didn't want me to go out and play with those

09:32kids outside or I would be sick and because my grades are so bad it would just don't let me

09:37go to

09:38school with so high of a fever so I started hurting myself started all these cars

09:50and my arm I was 11 I started letting my anger out on myself I couldn't find another way

10:01because who was gonna listen to me I tried running out of that house and my mom's half-sister she

10:09found me

10:10and she drove me back so I just wanted to see my mom again and thank god when I was

10:1714 I came to

10:18Germany and I saw her it wasn't everything I wish for my mom was really popular in that small town

10:27in

10:27Germany she owned a shop they were a successful couple they were in the news in that little town

10:33but nobody knew she had two children so when I went there I had to call her aunt at first

10:41so my mom and I we had this struggle at first because we didn't have that mother

10:48daughter connection when I saw my mom I was just so happy that I didn't want to talk

10:54about it at all I was just I just wanted to leave my mom and my mom and I would

11:02both didn't know that I

11:04was already struggling with mental illness so it was really a struggle for us I never turned my back

11:11around after I stepped foot in Germany ever again I didn't want to go back there I couldn't identify

11:20myself in the Philippines at all everybody called me ugly there because of my skin color so I made

11:26it a mission that one day I will be pretty and I would do everything a girl wanted and I

11:32kind of did

11:33join the beauty pageant became a photo model I did all those things out of insecurity I did do it

11:44not not for myself when I think about it I did it all out of desperation just to prove something

11:52to those people when I finally got out of my grandparents house I thought I was gonna find me

11:58be happy I was finally in Germany I was finally with my mom everything was I was like oh my

12:04goodness

12:04this is so great I didn't know it was gonna follow me because of the abuse and the trauma that

12:10I had

12:10experience I developed a mental illness called borderline personality disorder and when I got my

12:18first child I got a PPP which is postpartum psychosis later on with my other child I developed postpartum

12:28depression with my third child I didn't as I finally found the right man who was really helpful with my

12:37journey with my mental illness and he really helped me so much when I realized in all this journey that

12:44I realized I could break up with a man but I couldn't do it to my own family they were

12:52on my Facebook all

12:53the time they even went and visited me in the US in my house I let them in I was

12:58out of desperate I

12:59wanted the recognition they came in my house I wanted to let them see how beautiful my house was how

13:05organized my house was how super clean my house was I showed them all that out of desperation that I

13:13wanted the recognition and this is not what you should do to yourself I realized I was torturing myself

13:23why did I keep them in my life so I cut them off my life and after that I felt

13:30like my shoulders

13:32was so heavy this whole time and I felt like I could breathe and I told my children I am

13:40very sorry

13:42I apologize that your mom has been so depressed I haven't really been here now you guys

13:53can finally stop worrying about me because I know that sometimes they worry they know

13:58when their mom is not doing good and my advice to every parent out there is that when you're

14:06when you have children and you are mentally ill you have to be honest to your children about it

14:13because when my children knows that oh mom is not doing well let's leave her alone they go to their

14:21rooms they play their games they talk to their friends because they know okay let's leave mom

14:27alone mom needs some time right now it's better that way because if you just keep stuff from your

14:34children later they might hesitate to talk to you anymore they think oh something's wrong with mom

14:41and you don't want that what I can say to myself right now and I don't know if that will

14:47work for

14:47other people as well is that definitely boundaries are very important healthy boundaries are important

14:57before I would say I was a very very good doormat you know give an inch take a mile people

15:05would take

15:05advantage of that learn to say I am more without feeling guilty because you deserve that and if you can

15:14cut

15:16ties please do because you are just torturing yourself emotionally I was finally able to move on

15:25when I finally confronted my demons I went live on Facebook and I said look what you did to a

15:32child

15:32you cannot do that to a child I thought I'm gonna pick and choose my family and it worked out

15:37really

15:38well for me and I confronted them and I finally had my closure and my mom and I we are

15:43finally at

15:44peace together before I used to have this hatred towards my grandparents and then I realized after

15:51I got my closure I said I I don't even want any of that all I want for them is

15:56just move on with your

15:57life that's it that's all I want just leave me in peace I don't want people to who are like

16:03me to

16:04develop even further with their mental illness because I know how hard of a struggle it is people

16:10always told me you know share your story maybe there are people out there that are struggling

16:16with the same story and I always thought no I feel guilty I might hurt people they realize why do

16:22I

16:22feel guilty about hurting people who hurt me I was thinking that way because of the thought process in

16:28my brain that I still have to overcome that I'm still working on until now bit by bit I'm still

16:34working

16:35about it I am working with a psychologist about it I am taking meds my family is helping me they

16:43know

16:43my triggers now my goals is going into child development if possible I want to help children

16:51to stop developing into an even deeper depression or into a worse mental illness it's really hard if you

17:00don't have the right support and I know not everybody can afford support so if I can be the support

17:06system for them or if you can just give a parent maybe a list of things that she can do

17:13that could

17:14help her maybe like a a 10 minute list that she can do at least I know that would help

17:20out a lot

17:21definitely thank you so much for listening to my story I really appreciate it and I hope that

17:28you guys have learned a thing or two something from it I am very active in my community and I

17:36hope it

17:36will help you to be active as well and help others out just like me remember in us there's always

17:45a child

17:46somewhere yearning to be loved have a great day

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