00:01Today is going to be the best day ever.
00:04I love sunshine, I love butterflies,
00:07but more than anything, I love Doug.
00:12Hey! Shut the fuck up!
00:15Fucking piece of shit.
00:16That's Doug, the best owner in the world.
00:21We're playing this game called fetch and fuck.
00:23Fetch!
00:24He drops me off really far away
00:26and drives home without me.
00:28When I bring the ball back, he says fuck.
00:32That's how I know I won the game.
00:36Hey honey, you ever been with an Afghan before?
00:39I don't think so, but thank you.
00:41Take it from me, kid. He left your ass.
00:44No, that can't be right.
00:45You are officially a straight.
00:47That would mean...
00:49Doug doesn't love me.
00:51Poor little guy.
00:52I should probably talk to him. I am a therapy dog.
00:55Reg, you can learn how beautiful it can be when you're off the leash.
00:59This beer is making me dizzy.
01:01This is about to get real dizzy up in this business.
01:03I'm having a great time.
01:04Look at this motherfucker right here.
01:05What you want, huh, homie?
01:07Let's go.
01:07You little bitch-ass friend with the motherfucking home perm and shit.
01:09What did you just say?
01:10There you go, Reg.
01:10I would hate for this to get violent.
01:12You were straight.
01:14You can do anything you want.
01:16I'm going back to Doug's.
01:17What?
01:18What the fuck, man?
01:18But he needs to pay for what he did with the only thing he truly loves.
01:22I'm going to bite his dick off.
01:24Oh, wait.
01:25Did he just say bite off?
01:26Yeah, I'm still a little drunk, but...
01:28I said, I'm going to bite his dick off.
01:31Oh, we going to fuck shit up.
01:38Big day today.
01:39You ever humped anything before?
01:40I wouldn't say I've humped, per se.
01:42There you go, Reg.
01:43I'm doing good.
01:44He'll let Nome, you're his daddy.
01:45Hey, Nome, I'm your father.
01:46It's good to finally meet you.
01:48Reggie.
01:48Even under these strange circumstances.
01:50Reggie.
01:51We're completely lost, and my little puppy paw pads are really hurting right now.
01:55So how exactly could this get worse?
02:00Holy fuck!
02:08Oh shit.
02:09Guys, we've got a dick to rip off.
02:13What are those?
02:14Kinda looks like food.
02:16Oh shit.
02:17Uh, give me a sec.
02:18You look different.
02:19Shit, you look different too.
02:21How so?
02:21Is it my human hands?
02:22Than nevermind.
02:25That French.
02:27Rank.
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