- 13 minutes ago
First broadcast 2nd February 1982.
Meg: We were so close, we loved each other, we made a whole together. I feel cut in half.
Dorothy Tutin - Meg
Julie Sullivan - Registrar
John Altman - Young Man on Tube
Judy Loe - Hilary
Ben Cross - Simon
Lucy Hornak - Polly
Caroline Blakiston - Josie
Gary Brown - Paul
Struan Rodger - Irish Priest
Joanna Andrews - Amy
Pauline Quirke - Checkout Girl
Frank Barrie - Dr. Edwards
Dulcie Gray - Sales Assistant
James Snell - Dick
Ralph Watson - Funeral Attendant
Owen Holder - Church of England Priest
Elizabeth Morgan - Mrs. Bartlett
Meg: We were so close, we loved each other, we made a whole together. I feel cut in half.
Dorothy Tutin - Meg
Julie Sullivan - Registrar
John Altman - Young Man on Tube
Judy Loe - Hilary
Ben Cross - Simon
Lucy Hornak - Polly
Caroline Blakiston - Josie
Gary Brown - Paul
Struan Rodger - Irish Priest
Joanna Andrews - Amy
Pauline Quirke - Checkout Girl
Frank Barrie - Dr. Edwards
Dulcie Gray - Sales Assistant
James Snell - Dick
Ralph Watson - Funeral Attendant
Owen Holder - Church of England Priest
Elizabeth Morgan - Mrs. Bartlett
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00:28Transcribed by ESO. Translated by —
00:00:52Mrs. Spence, please.
00:00:56Yes.
00:01:06Mrs. Spence, please.
00:01:08Mrs. Spence, please.
00:01:40Two minutes past midday.
00:01:44Today.
00:01:47Suddenly.
00:01:48Suddenly?
00:01:50This afternoon, just?
00:01:53Would you like a cup of coffee?
00:01:55No, thank you.
00:01:57Thank you all the same.
00:02:02You are the next of kin, I presume?
00:02:06Widow.
00:02:09Residence?
00:02:1161.
00:02:13Brook Road.
00:02:15London.
00:02:17West 12.
00:02:25Would you like to sit down?
00:02:44You haven't been shopping.
00:02:47Only a few things.
00:02:51Essentials?
00:02:52We didn't know where you'd disappeared to.
00:02:56I didn't think.
00:02:58I was just passing.
00:02:59I was so worried.
00:03:01I still had my shopping list from last night.
00:03:03You see?
00:03:04I knew we needed bread.
00:03:06I'm sorry.
00:03:08You shouldn't be saying sorry.
00:03:11It was you I was worried about.
00:03:14Yes.
00:03:15Of course.
00:03:18I had a cleaning ticket, too.
00:03:20A jacket, I feel.
00:03:21I'll make you a coffee.
00:03:22Tea.
00:03:23If you don't mind.
00:03:25Tea.
00:03:33It's Polly here.
00:03:35Yes, of course.
00:03:36And Simon.
00:03:37They're upstairs.
00:03:38Simon's phoning your office.
00:03:40In case they knew where you'd gone to.
00:04:25I'll make you a coffee.
00:04:39a drink
00:04:41Hillary's making me some tea
00:04:43I have both
00:04:46why not
00:04:49your father always said I made too many rules
00:05:02thank you darling
00:05:18what's this
00:05:21oh he brought it last Saturday
00:05:23and then he lost it he was so cross
00:05:26I found it this morning in the laundry basket
00:05:29swing along a Bach
00:05:32typical
00:05:32he was very keen to hear
00:05:36Hillary was very worried about you
00:05:40I told her I was shopping
00:05:44but first I went to register his death
00:05:47what
00:05:49I could have done that
00:05:51I wanted to
00:05:52the registry office is in the town hall
00:05:55one of us could have gone mum
00:05:57no they said at the hospital that it had to be done before
00:06:00before there could be a funeral
00:06:04anyway what does it matter what I do at the moment
00:06:09it's very strange
00:06:12what do you mean what happened
00:06:14nothing
00:06:16it was a hideous potted plant
00:06:19and the registrar
00:06:20it was a woman
00:06:23the registrar should be a man
00:06:26they do births too
00:06:28oh she was quite sympathetic in her own way
00:06:31oh poor son
00:06:33what does it matter
00:06:34man or woman
00:06:37darling
00:06:38will you arrange the funeral for me
00:06:42please
00:06:43I would be so grateful
00:06:45we all will
00:06:46mrs bartlett will help
00:06:47yes but I want it arranged quickly
00:06:49if you don't mind
00:06:50if it wouldn't be
00:06:51too much trouble
00:06:54I think
00:06:55I'm going to make myself a sandwich
00:07:09sorry
00:07:10I didn't know you were back
00:07:12no rules today
00:07:14oh mother
00:07:14did you want to be alone
00:07:15well I usually come up to my bedroom
00:07:17when I've been out of the house for a while
00:07:20why are you carrying a loaf of bread
00:07:22oh
00:07:24I was going to make myself a sandwich
00:07:28I forgot
00:07:30I have got a reason for lying down
00:07:32who
00:07:34yes
00:07:35doesn't seem very appropriate
00:07:37to talk about my problems with dad
00:07:40no
00:07:41I think I've just had a miscarriage
00:07:44oh darling
00:07:45a very early one
00:07:46a couple of weeks
00:07:47I knew because of my breasts were getting bigger
00:07:51oh dear
00:07:54you see you're walking away now
00:08:00I'm sorry
00:08:04I suppose I shouldn't talk like this
00:08:05a few hours after daddy's died
00:08:08I've said it
00:08:10two minutes after midday
00:08:13I was outside in the visiting
00:08:17in the convent
00:08:19the angelus used to ring
00:08:21did you give up being a catholic for daddy
00:08:24you'll never give up being a catholic
00:08:26but you don't go to church
00:08:27you've just become a bad catholic
00:08:30you mean you still believe in confession
00:08:31and communion and all that sort of thing
00:08:33in a way
00:08:34will you have a catholic funeral for daddy
00:08:36your father wasn't a catholic
00:08:38would you believe in life after death
00:08:40yes of course I do
00:08:41Simon doesn't
00:08:44you see you haven't asked me
00:08:45whether I believe in life after death
00:08:47do you
00:08:48would you like me to
00:08:49yes of course I would
00:08:51you wouldn't want me to think dad was gone forever
00:08:54would you
00:08:58I'm not particularly interested in what I think
00:09:02I want to be alone
00:09:03darling
00:09:05if you don't mind
00:09:06just for a moment
00:09:07completely alone
00:09:09quiet
00:09:10peaceful
00:09:12just for a while
00:09:13I'm sorry
00:09:15you're quite right not to take my miscarriage seriously
00:09:18oh
00:09:20I'm sorry
00:09:21I could go into the next room
00:09:23no no
00:09:24it was probably only a heavy period
00:09:29Paul says I'm obsessed about getting pregnant
00:09:32because I want someone to love
00:09:34because I want someone to love
00:09:34someone to love me
00:09:41mum
00:09:43just because I talk like this
00:09:46doesn't mean to say I don't feel terrible about dad
00:09:48I mean he did love me
00:09:52and I loved him
00:09:55I really loved him
00:09:58it's all right darling
00:10:02why don't you go downstairs and have a drink
00:10:05Hillary will look after you
00:10:08it's not a sin
00:10:09to be unhappy
00:10:12you're so young
00:10:31how's the miscarriage
00:10:33sorry
00:10:41you did cheat terribly
00:10:42at everything
00:10:45I love you
00:10:47it's not a sin
00:10:54but I don't think so
00:10:54but I don't remember
00:10:56you have to catch it
00:11:08I've had some breastfeeding
00:11:14I love you.
00:11:47That was Josie.
00:11:50You're not in bed.
00:11:53Don't you think you should get undressed and get in?
00:11:58Did you tell her?
00:11:59Yes.
00:12:01She was terribly upset.
00:12:03Horrified.
00:12:05She's coming round.
00:12:07Oh.
00:12:09I thought it would be good for you to have someone to talk to outside the family.
00:12:14You do want her to come, don't you?
00:12:18I'm sure I'll be glad when she comes.
00:12:25I'll go downstairs and make some tea.
00:12:29I'd rather have a drink.
00:12:31Oh, I'll get you one.
00:12:32No, Josie can bring it up when she comes.
00:12:38I know I'd fuss.
00:12:40Simon says I'd try to reduce everyone to children.
00:12:44I'm sorry.
00:12:45Don't!
00:12:46What?
00:12:47Everyone keeps saying they're sorry.
00:12:50I'm sorry.
00:12:53Just leave me alone.
00:13:19How is she?
00:13:21She's upstairs.
00:13:23She wanted you to take her up a drink.
00:13:26I could do with one myself.
00:13:29I feel dreadful.
00:13:32He was so young.
00:13:34Nearly 60.
00:13:3657.
00:13:38You always seem younger.
00:13:40Much healthier than me.
00:13:42I can't believe it.
00:13:43The last time I saw him, he'd just come back from a rung.
00:13:46He had that heart thing.
00:13:47Yes, but that was years ago.
00:13:48That was years and years ago.
00:13:53Oh, God.
00:13:54I don't think I'm the right person to look after Meg.
00:13:57You're her oldest friend.
00:13:59Yes, but I'm used to her consoling me.
00:14:02Oh, God.
00:14:05Poor Meg.
00:14:07She bottles it up.
00:14:08And it's not as if she'd always had an easy life.
00:14:11I want to go for a walk.
00:14:13Will you come with me?
00:14:14Yes, of course.
00:14:15But it's beginning to rain.
00:14:16We won't be long, darling.
00:14:22I would have come to the hospital.
00:14:26Oh, God.
00:14:28It's horrifying.
00:14:32Happened at the office.
00:14:35How dreadful.
00:14:38Were you alone?
00:14:40They took him to the hospital.
00:14:44Mrs. Bartlett.
00:14:46It's all over so quickly.
00:14:49I don't seem to be able to come to grips with what's happened.
00:14:53I keep worrying about whether the children got home safely.
00:14:57You mean Dickency?
00:14:59Why not?
00:15:08Darling, it's me.
00:15:11Honestly, Dick, ask the children.
00:15:15Yeah, and there's a load of nappies.
00:15:17Well, all right, I suppose so.
00:15:20But please make sure that they wash properly.
00:15:23Particularly Tommy.
00:15:27Tomato ketchup.
00:15:28But it's a soak, for God's sake.
00:15:54You wanted to have Polly christened here.
00:15:57Johnny wouldn't let me.
00:15:59Poor John.
00:15:59He was so alive.
00:16:03He was so alive.
00:16:24I can't pray.
00:16:28Do you remember when Johnny left me?
00:16:31Talking about Polly's christening made me think about it.
00:16:34I felt then, as I do now.
00:16:39Numb.
00:16:40Tired.
00:16:42Very angry.
00:16:45You can't pray like that.
00:16:47Do you feel angry with him, with Johnny?
00:16:49No.
00:16:51It isn't his fault.
00:16:54I wasn't angry then.
00:16:56What about thee, Mrs. Bartlett?
00:16:59No.
00:16:59Never.
00:17:01She was more unhappy than anyone.
00:17:04Elevated to mysteries and then back again to perfect secretary.
00:17:08Poor John.
00:17:09Yes.
00:17:11Yes.
00:17:11But I wasn't angry.
00:17:15I told you it was she who took him to the hospital.
00:17:20That did seem unfair.
00:17:23I'm so sorry.
00:17:27Why did he have to die?
00:17:31That's when I feel anger with God.
00:17:37I don't understand why he made it happen, if he made it happen.
00:17:46But I don't blame him.
00:17:50I wish I could help.
00:17:52I do.
00:17:55I think it's myself I hate.
00:18:01I'm so tired.
00:18:12I did love him.
00:18:14Oh, darling.
00:18:26After he came back to me, and I found I was pregnant with Polly, I was so happy.
00:18:35But I felt guilty, too.
00:18:37He made me feel guilty.
00:18:40I feel guilty now.
00:18:42Why do I feel guilty?
00:18:44You shouldn't.
00:18:45You mustn't.
00:18:46That's why I stopped coming to church.
00:18:48You made me feel guilty.
00:18:49He loved you.
00:18:50He loved Polly.
00:18:51All of you.
00:18:54Perhaps it's because you're still alive.
00:18:59I must find a priest.
00:19:01Priest?
00:19:02I want to have a mass set for Johnny.
00:19:04Johnny's soul.
00:19:05I believe in the soul.
00:19:07Well, poor Polly, she wanted to talk to me about it, and I wouldn't.
00:19:10I couldn't.
00:19:11It must be an evening mass.
00:19:12I think I'm going to stay.
00:19:15Tell me, children.
00:19:32I've just been to mass.
00:19:34I haven't been to mass for ages.
00:19:35It's very short.
00:19:39Mrs. Bartlett rang up.
00:19:42In a terrible state.
00:19:44Oh.
00:19:46Poor Mrs. Bartlett.
00:19:49At least I've got you.
00:19:53Polly discovered who she was, I'm afraid.
00:19:57You told her?
00:19:58Yes.
00:20:01Oh, dear.
00:20:03Not a very good moment to find out.
00:20:08Poor Polly.
00:20:10Mother, Simon, where have you been?
00:20:12I've got my key.
00:20:15Dear Mother, I'm so very sorry, Mrs. Spence.
00:20:19When I heard...
00:20:20Oh, Paul, dear.
00:20:23Please accept my sincerest condolences.
00:20:25Let her in first, Paul, please.
00:20:27Actually, I was just going.
00:20:29Oh, no, Paul, you can't go out now.
00:20:30It's rainy.
00:20:31I'll put the kettle on.
00:20:33Oh, Mum.
00:20:34Aunt Alice rang.
00:20:35I put her off tonight, but she wants to come round tomorrow at 11.
00:20:38I'll be working.
00:20:39Oh, Mother.
00:20:41I forgot.
00:20:45The kettle's boiling.
00:20:518-0-4-3.
00:20:55This is her son speaking.
00:20:57Oh, yes, hello.
00:21:00No.
00:21:01It was quite sudden.
00:21:03Quite unexpected.
00:21:07As I know.
00:21:10I was shocked, of course.
00:21:14Yes, thank you.
00:21:16Goodbye.
00:21:19That was Mr. Whitehead.
00:21:21He says you'll just stay away as long as you like.
00:21:24Was he still in his office?
00:21:25He doesn't usually work so late.
00:21:27It's only just after seven, Mum.
00:21:31Coffee?
00:21:46Hello.
00:21:48Yes, it's Simon.
00:21:51It was quite sudden.
00:21:53Quite unexpected.
00:21:59Shocked, of course.
00:22:08No, we hadn't thought of that.
00:22:10Perhaps we should.
00:22:12Yes, thank you.
00:22:13I'll tell her.
00:22:17I'll let you know as soon as possible.
00:22:48I'll let you know as soon as possible.
00:22:48I'll let you know as soon as possible.
00:22:55It's me.
00:22:56There's a great argument going on downstairs.
00:22:59Hill's cooking an enormous meal.
00:23:01It seems that no one's the least bit hungry.
00:23:03I suppose one ought to eat.
00:23:05Are you not hungry?
00:23:11Look.
00:23:18Johnny really cared about fitness.
00:23:22He used to irritate me so much.
00:23:25He'd never sit down and have a decent meal.
00:23:29He always looked so old after running.
00:23:34He wanted me to run too.
00:23:39I expect I shall.
00:23:42Now he's not here yet to make me.
00:23:47I thought when I'm married,
00:23:50I drink vodka and go for long walks.
00:23:54Do you know we were married for
00:23:56over a quarter of a century?
00:23:59A whole lifetime.
00:24:01No, not a whole lifetime.
00:24:05I keep expecting to hear his voice
00:24:07downstairs,
00:24:09louder than anybody's.
00:24:11He always used to call up
00:24:13when he came back.
00:24:15Even when he'd done something
00:24:17he was ashamed of.
00:24:19I can't imagine a
00:24:21day
00:24:23without hearing him.
00:24:26Supper!
00:24:27Josie!
00:24:29She doesn't call for me.
00:24:31You shouldn't be shouted at.
00:24:33Do you want to come down?
00:24:45I want to sleep forever.
00:24:47Do you want to mind постndom?
00:25:03Shabbat's work,
00:25:05I think that he can do it at home.
00:25:06I think,
00:25:07I don't want to drink so much
00:25:08I don't think her being
00:25:08too much.
00:25:08but lastération
00:25:10went ahead and
00:25:18there we are
00:25:21can't be that bad
00:25:22what?
00:25:24nothing
00:25:26oh, I didn't want those, I'll put them back
00:25:28oh, you needn't bother?
00:25:29well, there are four
00:25:30oh, not about an hour or two
00:25:37is that all then?
00:25:38yes
00:25:45right, that'll be
00:25:477.21, please
00:25:54I've come out without enough money
00:25:56well, how about a cheque
00:25:58with a banker's card
00:25:59oh, yes, of course
00:26:03haven't got that over
00:26:05could I be so silly?
00:26:08well, not to worry
00:26:09look, you take the staff
00:26:11and drop the money in
00:26:12next time you're passing
00:26:13oh, could I?
00:26:14I'd be so grateful
00:26:16Mrs Spence, innit?
00:26:17I mean, we know you
00:26:19you see, yesterday my husband died
00:26:21just thought I'd explain
00:26:24you've been kind
00:26:24thank you
00:26:25thank you
00:26:52oh, gosh
00:26:53what time is it?
00:26:54I meant to bring you breakfast
00:26:55and bed
00:26:56and you've already been out shopping
00:26:57and I've just woken up
00:26:58well, I need it, dear
00:26:59I expect you needed the sleep
00:27:01I couldn't get to sleep for ages
00:27:03I kept thinking
00:27:04about something Simon told me
00:27:06I wouldn't think too much about that, dear
00:27:08I heard you moving around, too
00:27:10it's not important
00:27:11what Simon told you
00:27:12I wanted to talk
00:27:13it all happened a long time ago
00:27:15I have a right to know
00:27:18just as much as Hillary and Simon
00:27:19I'm not stupid
00:27:20I'm not a baby
00:27:22you always treat me
00:27:23as if I was a baby
00:27:24you and Dad, both of you
00:27:26if I wasn't part of the real family
00:27:28the funniest thing
00:27:29happened in the supermarket
00:27:30I bought frozen peas
00:27:31could you believe it?
00:27:32frozen peas
00:27:34I bought Johnny all those years
00:27:35for liking frozen peas
00:27:36I wouldn't buy them for him
00:27:38except on his birthday
00:27:39and today, the day off
00:27:41I'd actually go and buy them
00:27:42at my own free will
00:27:45what would you do with them?
00:27:47who?
00:27:48I'd put them back
00:27:51I'll go and get dressed then
00:28:19excuse me
00:28:21shut up
00:28:21I just want
00:28:22son of a
00:28:22son
00:28:22son
00:28:31son
00:28:34son
00:28:34son
00:28:34son
00:28:35son
00:28:36son
00:28:44Simon rang with the news
00:28:46If you need any help
00:28:48Yes
00:28:49Come in
00:28:53Sorry about the mess
00:28:54You've been out then?
00:28:55Yes
00:28:56How do you sleep?
00:28:57Sleep? Oh, I'm fine
00:29:00I've brought along some Margaret
00:29:01Take a couple of hours here before you want to sleep
00:29:03There's no point in getting run down
00:29:05Run down?
00:29:07Nobody appreciates how much there is to do at a time like this
00:29:10You mean the funeral?
00:29:11Arrangements for this, arrangements for that
00:29:13You're not here on your own, are you?
00:29:15No, Polly's with me
00:29:16Oh, that's good
00:29:17And I suggest you take one of these at breakfast and at tea
00:29:22But you know I don't take those
00:29:24At least I never have
00:29:25Of course
00:29:26I'm not going to force that at a time like this
00:29:30I'd rather not, if you don't mind
00:29:31There's nothing strong
00:29:32It's very difficult
00:29:33I can't think at the moment
00:29:36I keep trying
00:29:40I have pills as well
00:29:41Well, I'll leave them with you just in case
00:29:45No, really
00:29:48Simon's making arrangements
00:29:52Pills do help people over the worst
00:29:54On the other hand, they put off the moment
00:29:57It has to come sometime
00:30:01Bring me any time if I can help
00:30:03Even if it's just for talk
00:30:05Everyone's been so kind
00:30:14Oh, I'm sorry, you have visitors?
00:30:16No, no, I'm just going
00:30:17Goodbye, Mrs Smith
00:30:18Goodbye, Doctor
00:30:22Come in, Father
00:30:29I'll only stay for a moment
00:30:30I know what it is
00:30:35Not such a mess in here
00:30:37How I allow poor Dr Edwards
00:30:42I'm comfortable anywhere
00:30:47Have a lovely home
00:30:48Would you like some tea?
00:30:50No
00:30:51No
00:30:54I just thought after last night
00:30:55Maybe you'd like to talk
00:30:57Oh, I'm afraid I may have given you the wrong impression last night
00:31:01You see, I haven't been a practicing Catholic for years
00:31:04Not since before I was married
00:31:06My husband wasn't very keen on the church
00:31:09Oh, of course
00:31:10Of course
00:31:11I don't want to be a nuisance
00:31:13I just wanted to say
00:31:15If you needed to talk
00:31:16I was available
00:31:18Some people turn to God
00:31:21And some turn away from him
00:31:22At a time like this
00:31:23But I haven't turned away from him
00:31:26It's just as I said
00:31:27I'm simply not a Catholic anymore
00:31:31Well
00:31:33I don't know
00:31:37No
00:31:40No
00:31:44Well
00:31:44You look after yourself
00:31:46That's the main thing
00:31:48It's hard enough to know
00:31:50What we feel at any time
00:31:52God's ways are not easy
00:31:55We said your special mass this morning
00:31:578am
00:31:58Of course, when you weren't there
00:31:59I knew
00:32:02The congregation will pray for you
00:32:04As well as your husband
00:32:06Thank you
00:32:09I've always believed in prayer
00:32:12All the
00:32:14As I've said
00:32:44I understand
00:32:46Oh, please
00:32:48Hello
00:32:50Oh, good morning, darling
00:32:52Yes, very well
00:32:54The day after tomorrow
00:32:55Good
00:32:56And the telegraph
00:32:57Good
00:32:59Do I?
00:33:00Well, actually
00:33:01I do have someone with me
00:33:02And I ought to see them out
00:33:05Thursday at 3 o'clock
00:33:06Yes, I'll be in
00:33:08Goodbye, darling
00:33:11That was my son
00:33:12About the funeral
00:33:13The cremation
00:33:14You see
00:33:15My husband was an agnostic
00:33:17So anything more than a little service
00:33:19A little
00:33:21Anonymous
00:33:22Service
00:33:24There are many roads
00:33:26Particularly these days
00:33:28These ecumenical days
00:33:34You both have our prayers
00:33:37My prayers
00:33:53And I'll see you next time
00:33:56I'll see you next time
00:33:56I'll see you next time
00:34:12What was that all about?
00:34:15Breeze
00:34:16How odd
00:34:18I'm sorry I was so long
00:34:19I couldn't decide what to wear
00:34:21Today I felt I shouldn't be dressed in bright colours
00:34:23And yet I didn't want to be gloomy
00:34:26I hadn't thought
00:34:27Will you want us to wear black for the...
00:34:30I haven't thought
00:34:31Some of those terrible cousins
00:34:33Are sure to be in black
00:34:34Do we have to ask them?
00:34:37I mean
00:34:37Do we send out invitations or what?
00:34:40I'm relying on Simon and Hillary for all that
00:34:42The funeral is the day after tomorrow
00:34:43So soon?
00:34:45Yes
00:34:46Your father wasn't a great one for ceremony
00:34:49You just want it over
00:34:53It'll be better for all of us when it's over
00:34:56I think I'll just go upstairs
00:35:06Hello?
00:35:09Yes?
00:38:22I managed to get away earlier than I...
00:38:24Oh.
00:38:28I thought...
00:38:30Of course.
00:38:34What a good idea.
00:38:35I'll help you.
00:38:40I don't suppose you slept.
00:38:43I do wish you'd let Dr Edwards give you some sleeping tablets.
00:38:47He rang me, you know.
00:38:49He was very kind.
00:38:59I'll get another case for the rest of the thing.
00:39:01No.
00:39:02Leave it.
00:39:04For now.
00:39:06You don't think it would be better to get it all over with.
00:39:08I haven't made up my mind yet.
00:39:12I'll put it in the spare room for the moment.
00:39:15I'm coming.
00:39:39I skipped work.
00:39:41I didn't sleep awake last night.
00:39:42I was coughing my heart out.
00:39:44How's she?
00:39:45Did she sleep?
00:39:46Or was she too shocked?
00:39:47Oh, Josie.
00:39:49Would you believe it?
00:39:50The hamsters died.
00:39:51Actually died.
00:39:52Actually died.
00:39:53I didn't have time to look at it this morning.
00:39:55I nearly bought some grapes on the way here.
00:39:56They look so lush, isn't it?
00:39:58I thought she's not an invalid.
00:40:01Do you know if she wants flowers for the funeral?
00:40:03Well, she loves flowers.
00:40:06Father used to buy her a dozen white roses whenever he behaved particularly badly.
00:40:10At least Mrs Bartlett did.
00:40:13Should these, uh...
00:40:14Yes.
00:40:15Mother asked me.
00:40:16She always hated ironing.
00:40:18Father was so particular.
00:40:20But I don't know about the funeral.
00:40:22She won't have anything to do with it.
00:40:24Simon's making all the arrangements with Mrs Bartlett, so I suppose they'll decide.
00:40:28I think you should give her some peace and some space.
00:40:31I must say, Polly, coming from you, that's a bit.
00:40:34What do you mean?
00:40:36I don't think I'll take these up.
00:40:37She was a bit upset earlier.
00:40:38You'd be a little bit upset if your husband just dropped down dead.
00:40:42Oh, shh.
00:40:43She wants the funeral to be over without too much fuss.
00:40:46She's afraid.
00:40:47She's not afraid.
00:40:48I'll do here.
00:40:49I'll take these up.
00:40:50She's not afraid!
00:40:52She's afraid of coming alive again.
00:40:54At the moment she feels as dead as father.
00:40:56Hilary's hamster's died.
00:40:58Can you imagine anything more inappropriate?
00:41:00The receptionist at the registrar's office said I look young.
00:41:03I do look young.
00:41:04It's my ovaries.
00:41:07Oh, I'm sorry I didn't expect you to say ovaries.
00:41:11I'm 47.
00:41:13I know.
00:41:14I had Simon when I was only just 19.
00:41:17I've never heard you talk about age before.
00:41:19I've never thought about it before.
00:41:22You're younger than I am.
00:41:24Not much.
00:41:27I don't just feel old.
00:41:30I feel cut in half.
00:41:34Do you know?
00:41:36The absurd thing about this whole situation is I...
00:41:40I keep wanting to talk to Johnny about his death.
00:41:46I couldn't understand what it was yesterday.
00:41:50Something was missing.
00:41:51And it wasn't Johnny himself.
00:41:55He wasn't dead.
00:41:57I knew that, that he was dead.
00:41:58But I needed someone to talk to.
00:42:01And I needed to talk to him.
00:42:03Him.
00:42:05And I wanted Johnny to comfort me for his death.
00:42:09No!
00:42:10No!
00:42:14No!
00:42:15No!
00:42:19I can't cry.
00:42:38You're not married, are you?
00:42:40Twice married, twice divorced.
00:42:43I don't understand about marriage.
00:42:44Why it's so important.
00:42:46I mean, we're all feeling sorry for her.
00:42:48Because he was her husband.
00:42:50Not because he was who he was.
00:42:52If you see what I mean.
00:42:54I haven't put that very well.
00:42:57I don't mean she didn't love him too, but...
00:42:59I think I know what you mean.
00:43:03I'm still hoping.
00:43:04Hoping?
00:43:06For a happy marriage.
00:43:10For a marriage.
00:43:23I can't take any more of that crap.
00:43:27No.
00:43:28Of course not.
00:43:34Come here.
00:43:35No.
00:43:36No.
00:43:50The television helps Polly.
00:43:53There's nothing wrong with it.
00:43:54Just commonal garden pap.
00:43:58I don't want any of you to be more unhappy than you need to.
00:44:02Mum?
00:44:04What?
00:44:05I was planning to separate from Amy.
00:44:11Oh, Simon.
00:44:13I was going to tell you.
00:44:14But then there was Dad.
00:44:16But why?
00:44:17I mean the little baby.
00:44:19You've only just gotten married.
00:44:20We lived together for years.
00:44:22We've nothing in common.
00:44:24She's totally uninterested in my work.
00:44:27You drink too much.
00:44:31We've separated in lots of ways already.
00:44:34We never talk.
00:44:36Never talk?
00:44:40I'm in love with someone else.
00:44:43Well then, of course you don't talk.
00:44:46I said I'm in love with someone else.
00:44:50I was going to take her with me to South America on Wednesday.
00:44:54And tomorrow.
00:44:56Don't you care?
00:44:59Of course I care.
00:45:02But you put it in the past.
00:45:03You said you were thinking of him.
00:45:04How can I?
00:45:05Now?
00:45:06With Dad?
00:45:08More bad news.
00:45:10You just sound resentful.
00:45:12I don't know what I'll do.
00:45:14I couldn't stay married to Amy forever.
00:45:19You blamed me for not letting your father run off with his secretary.
00:45:24Her name is June.
00:45:27Your father always called her Mrs Bartlett.
00:45:28He always called her that.
00:45:29That's why I knew he wasn't really in love with her.
00:45:31You sure?
00:45:34I wasn't.
00:45:37It was a long time ago.
00:45:39It used to tear me apart.
00:45:43Did you really think I ought to let him go?
00:45:45No.
00:45:45I loved him.
00:45:47He loved me.
00:45:49There's one thing I know about marriage.
00:45:52What?
00:45:53It's worth preserving.
00:45:55Whatever.
00:45:56The whatever is unimportant.
00:45:58It's the sharing.
00:45:59Amy and I don't share anything, Mum.
00:46:02Well, your father and I always used to talk to each other.
00:46:05We used to talk about everything.
00:46:08Almost everything.
00:46:10Everything that mattered.
00:46:12Imagine if I'd let him divorce me.
00:46:16It'd be just like being a widow.
00:46:29Oh, give Amy time.
00:46:32She's young.
00:46:33You've both only just started.
00:47:00You've both only just started.
00:47:03She's young.
00:47:21Thank you, darling.
00:47:24It's Polly.
00:47:25I brought you a cup of tea.
00:47:29And there are all these letters.
00:47:31I think they're about Dad.
00:47:34Letters of condolence.
00:47:35What a silly word.
00:47:38I recognise that writing.
00:47:40I think it's Aunt Mary's.
00:47:41Are you going to open them?
00:47:43No.
00:47:44Later.
00:47:44Take them downstairs.
00:47:45We're going to go shopping before the shops get full.
00:47:47But Hilary's coming over.
00:47:48Oh, she can come, too.
00:47:54It's quite a nice one here.
00:47:56It's not exactly black.
00:47:58I don't think I want black.
00:48:00Just something plain, dark.
00:48:03I don't know why you want to borrow something of mine.
00:48:05We're not the same size.
00:48:07Besides, I wanted to take Polly's mind off things.
00:48:10Do you require any assistance?
00:48:13My mother and my sister are looking for something plain and dark.
00:48:17Daywear or evening?
00:48:19Day.
00:48:19Madam is a size ten.
00:48:22Or twelve.
00:48:23Depends on the make.
00:48:24French clothes are cut very small.
00:48:26You'll find it's very British here.
00:48:29Everything is hideous.
00:48:30I'm sorry, darling.
00:48:32Be patient.
00:48:34This might be the sort of thing you're looking for.
00:48:37Dark, not black.
00:48:38Oh, I see.
00:48:39Then brown, perhaps.
00:48:41Or dove grey.
00:48:43Or navy blue.
00:48:45This is a very popular line.
00:48:48Dear, I'm just not used to choosing something in a dark colour.
00:48:51You can't go wrong in this.
00:48:52We have some occasion mind, perhaps.
00:48:55A funeral, actually.
00:48:57In the old days it always was black, but not any more.
00:49:00Now they don't want black.
00:49:01They just want something dark and simple.
00:49:03You mean you really have people coming to you for funeral clothes?
00:49:06My colleagues tease me about it.
00:49:08They say it must be something about me that draws them.
00:49:11Actually, I call this my funeral frock.
00:49:14It does so well for the purpose.
00:49:16I know your daughter finds that a little ridiculous,
00:49:18but I can assure you it's not so easy to find a funeral frock.
00:49:22And the price is right.
00:49:23After all, madam may not want to spend too much
00:49:26on something that she may not feel like wearing very often.
00:49:29Associations, if you see what I mean.
00:49:31It does seem very sensible by my mother.
00:49:33That is because it's such a favourite in itself.
00:49:36A funeral favourite?
00:49:38Exactly so.
00:49:39Madam would like to try it on?
00:49:40If you follow me to the fitting rooms.
00:49:43Couldn't possibly.
00:49:43Well, if madam is a fairly standard English tin, she needn't worry.
00:49:48After all, this frock can't be called skimpy.
00:49:51Association, if you know what I mean.
00:49:53It was so extraordinary the way she took us all laughing at her.
00:49:57Not at least bit insulting.
00:49:59Oh, Simon's back.
00:50:00Oh, exactly.
00:50:00So occasional.
00:50:06I bought a dress.
00:50:10We've been laughing.
00:50:16I'll make some tea.
00:50:21The phone's been ringing again.
00:50:24People about the funeral.
00:50:28And these letters came.
00:50:31There were some earlier ones, too.
00:50:38You should have seen that cell's assistant.
00:50:41She looked like something out of the Hammer Horror.
00:50:45I think I'll look at these letters.
00:50:49Are you sure you're strong enough, Mum?
00:50:52I won't.
00:50:54I think I'll do it on my own.
00:50:57You can see them later.
00:51:03How do people discover?
00:51:06Bad news.
00:51:07Travels fast.
00:51:17Would you like me to come and sit with you?
00:51:23You should try and eat something.
00:51:26In a little while, darling.
00:51:33I want you to be at the office working.
00:51:36I'm all right.
00:51:37I'm all right.
00:51:37Really, I am.
00:51:41Even the man who cuts his hair root.
00:51:45It's a great gift to bring out love.
00:51:49As great a gift as loving.
00:51:51I was thinking about that when you came in.
00:51:56Go on.
00:51:56Read them.
00:52:05No, I'm afraid not.
00:52:09Oh, I see.
00:52:10I'm sorry.
00:52:11No, he's not here today.
00:52:15A message.
00:52:18Well, I don't know.
00:52:20Not today.
00:52:20Why don't you try phoning him at his office?
00:52:24I see.
00:52:25Oh, Mother.
00:52:29Well, yeah, um...
00:52:31After lunch, yes.
00:52:33Yes.
00:52:35I'm so sorry.
00:52:38Goodbye.
00:52:44He was very cross.
00:52:46Johnny had stood him up lunch.
00:52:48How could I tell him?
00:52:49I couldn't tell him.
00:52:52Apparently there was no one at the office.
00:52:54I'll ring them and see it doesn't happen again.
00:52:56It really doesn't matter.
00:52:59Yes, it does.
00:53:01People should have more concern.
00:53:04I'm sorry.
00:53:15I'm sorry.
00:53:19You can't be brave all the time.
00:53:22Now switch that phone off now.
00:53:23Yeah, I'm sorry.
00:53:24Yes, of course, darling.
00:53:30Bye.
00:53:34Bye.
00:53:39Bye.
00:53:42Bye.
00:53:45Bye.
00:54:08I used to smoke.
00:54:10I'd forgotten.
00:54:12So long ago, I'd almost forgotten myself.
00:54:17Before I was pregnant, before I was married, had children.
00:54:21Well, I shouldn't take it up again.
00:54:24For me, it's a terrible curse.
00:54:26I don't suppose I shall.
00:54:29I just wanted to see what it was like to go out and buy a packet.
00:54:38Johnny had cut right down.
00:54:41In a few months, he'd given up completely.
00:54:46I don't know how he managed that.
00:54:48But cutting down, I mean, it's much easier to give it up altogether.
00:54:53He was very disciplined.
00:54:56About things to do with health.
00:55:00He was afraid of growing old.
00:55:02He's avoided that, at least.
00:55:05He was afraid of dying, too.
00:55:09Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:55:12It's all right.
00:55:14I know what you meant.
00:55:21I'm dreading the night.
00:55:26Have one of the children sit with you?
00:55:30No, I don't want them to know too much.
00:55:33How I feel.
00:55:35It wouldn't be fair.
00:55:37They're strong.
00:55:39I could stay with you.
00:55:43Sleeping pill?
00:55:45No.
00:55:48Sleeping pills don't take away dreams.
00:55:53Dreams are better than nothing.
00:56:03It's the waking up that's bad.
00:56:10He hasn't left me yet.
00:56:15Funeral's tomorrow.
00:56:21What's it like?
00:56:23Being on your own?
00:56:27Oh, it depends on the circumstances.
00:56:32Some people are quite good at it.
00:56:45Lonely.
00:56:59But now, let's turn out on your ring.
00:57:00And I'll divide it over 2 June.
00:57:07And I'll add a little bit
00:57:07And I'll turn it over to this one.
00:57:24and my friend himself was very young.
00:57:24I'm surprised that how many people come in here,
00:57:24When I talk about it,
00:57:50Thank you, Auntie.
00:58:04We'll be in the front car, you and me, Hillary and Polly.
00:58:09Yes, dear.
00:58:15Who's that with Dick?
00:58:17Is he a pair?
00:58:18Is she good?
00:58:19Dick thinks so.
00:58:20Makes life more colourful.
00:58:22She's taking the kids across to Dick's mum.
00:58:24It's going to be so odd without Georgie.
00:58:26She won't forget the bottle, will she?
00:58:28She really hates the bottle.
00:58:29Don't worry.
00:58:30Mum Ignore's an expert force-feeder.
00:58:33Oh, my hell, I'm glad we decided against bringing them to the crematorium.
00:58:37I want them to keep happy memories of Dad.
00:58:39They'll enjoy coming here afterwards.
00:58:42Do you think there's enough food?
00:58:43I do hope there's enough food.
00:58:55I'm sorry, mate, the traffic's terrible.
00:58:58You'll be in the second car with Dick and Amy.
00:59:00Oh, I can drive myself.
00:59:00You cannot drive yourself.
00:59:19Would you like something to eat, Mother?
00:59:22No, thank you.
00:59:38Good morning, sir.
00:59:40Good morning.
00:59:40Good morning.
00:59:57They wanted to know that we could have him.
01:00:02The coffin brought in here.
01:00:08That's your decision.
01:00:13No.
01:00:14No.
01:00:15Very good, sir.
01:00:16In that case, we have plenty of time.
01:00:19Have you any flowers?
01:00:22Yes, could you take those, please?
01:00:31I think we ought to go.
01:00:57Goodnight.
01:01:11We have plenty.
01:01:12Why really?
01:01:13End baby girl.
01:01:22What are you doing?
01:01:23Okay, good morning, sir.
01:03:55We shall read Psalm 23 on page 6.
01:06:41Let us pray.
01:07:10Let us pray.
01:07:35Let us pray.
01:07:38Let us pray.
01:07:42Let us pray.
01:08:13Let us pray.
01:08:42Let us pray.
01:10:12Let us pray.
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