00:00I've always wanted to date the most popular girl
00:04Drive the nicest car
00:06And go to the fanciest school
00:07Yale is the goal, correct?
00:09More than anything in the world
00:10But I can't afford any of that
00:14My uncle's paying me to escort my cousin
00:16To a semi-formal
00:17I'll take your cousin
00:18What?
00:19I'll take your cousin to the dance
00:20Why?
00:21What would you get out of it?
00:22I'd get the payment you were talking about
00:23And I'd get to take your car
00:26You got a suit?
00:30You're getting paid to take a girl on a date
00:33Did you know that Michelle Obama
00:34Got paid to go on a date with Barack?
00:36And look how great that turned out
00:37Is that true?
00:38I don't know
00:38But it could be true
00:40And that is my point
00:45Uh, good evening
00:47Let's do this
00:47So we can stop doing this
00:51I happen to think that you and I
00:52Can have a really good time tonight
00:54You've clearly never been to my high school
00:55Let's go shred some hardwood
00:57No, no, no
01:01Is this your job?
01:02No
01:02Should be
01:03Troubled rich girls
01:05And need a chaperone
01:06It could be big business here
01:10I figured out how to get the money I need to go to Yale
01:13I'm offering my services as a chaperone
01:16For whatever it is that girls want
01:17Hey
01:18Oh my god, you didn't
01:19Oh, but I did
01:22Every date would be custom built
01:23They could pick my personality
01:24My interests
01:25Whether I'm a listener or a talker
01:27What's the weirdest best bar?
01:29I had to listen to this girl talk for four hours straight
01:32All I was allowed to say was
01:33There is no other way to see it
01:35Oh my god, that is the perfect date
01:36There's no other way to see it
01:40Can you imagine if I get enough money to get into Yale
01:42And date Shelby?
01:44Hey
01:44That'd be my dream come true
01:46I'll tell you a story
01:48Before it tells itself
01:49You're just waiting for people to accept you instead of accepting yourself
01:53You act so tough
01:54It's just an act
01:55We used to spend time together
01:57But I guess you'd have your new rich friends
02:00Whoa
02:00I don't know which version of myself I'm supposed to be
02:06Wow, she's a really bad dancer
02:09Yeah, she's the worst
02:13I've been so many people these past few months
02:15A cowboy, an art connoisseur, and a bad friend
02:19It's time to figure out who I am
02:21And what I want
02:24What are some of your interests outside of school?
02:27Howdy
02:28Usual teenage stuff
02:30Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
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