00:03www.mesmerism.info
00:30Oscar Bait has the most blatant attempt to win an Oscar since the King's Speech.
00:34Oscar Bait checks off all the boxes.
00:37Racial tension.
00:38Can I help you with your groceries?
00:41Haven't you done enough, Whitey?
00:45Latent homosexuality.
00:46Thanks for shopping with us. Here's your change.
00:57And a man staring at trains.
01:00If you like films where a character is forced to overcome a rare disease,
01:04then this, my friends, is your film.
01:06Well, the only job we have is forklift operator.
01:09All you need is two good feet.
01:11Can't do it.
01:12Why not?
01:14I have balloon foot.
01:16What?
01:28If it pops, I die.
01:32The Boston Globe says,
01:35I didn't cry once, but the main character cried 47 times.
01:39USA Today says,
01:40Even the mailman cried,
01:41and he was literally on screen for two seconds.
01:44And the New Yorker says,
01:46So.
01:47Much.
01:48snot.
01:53A story of redemption.
01:56You got to stop blaming yourself, man.
01:58I can't.
01:58It wasn't your fault.
02:00It's not.
02:01It's not my fault.
02:02Well, I had like 100 drinks,
02:04and then I stole that public city bus full of people.
02:07And then I made a bet that I could drive across the bridge with the lights off.
02:10I didn't make the bet with anyone else, just myself.
02:12So I didn't win any money when I made it.
02:15And yet I still had to prove to myself I could do it again with my eyes closed in reverse
02:18at 100 miles per hour.
02:19And then, when I completed that,
02:22I drove to the middle of the bridge and started doing celebratory donuts.
02:25And that's when everybody flew out the back emergency door into that freezing water.
02:29Everybody died but me.
02:30And you're telling me,
02:31it's not my fault?
02:35Featuring pretentiously artistic shots of a man's hand grazing wheat.
02:39The grabbing of a bed sheet to indicate an orgasm.
02:42This thing.
02:44That thing.
02:46That weird Spike Lee thing where the character is gliding towards the camera
02:49and it's like,
02:50is he walking?
02:51Is he floating?
02:52What the hell is that thing?
02:55And one long shot of a man playing solitaire,
02:57which serves two purposes.
02:59The first purpose is to impress you with how long it goes without a single cut.
03:03The second purpose is more metaphorical.
03:05He's playing solitaire not just because he's alone in this game,
03:08but he's also alone in life.
03:10And when he sadly looks up and says,
03:12I lost,
03:13he's not just referring to losing a game of cards.
03:16He's again, and not to belabor the point,
03:18suggesting he's lost in life.
03:21I lost.
03:23Boom.
03:24There's your Oscar right there, mother...
03:26And just so we've covered all the bases,
03:29here's the racial tension scene again,
03:31but in French.
03:44Oscar Bait is the film everyone will tell you to see,
03:47but you'll never quite get around to it,
03:48with vague dialogue that sounds sort of profound.
03:51That's the thing about a coal mine.
03:54You never know how deep it goes.
03:58A child actor with three names.
04:01And a stoic man who loses his s***
04:03behind the wheel of his car for way too long.
04:33A child actor with five to six millionocumentary.7
04:37Oh, e una scena straight up stolen from the movie Carol.
04:41Would you like to come visit me this Sunday?
04:45Yes.
04:47What a strange girl you are.
04:51Why?
04:53I'm plung out of space.
04:59Oscar Bait.
05:00Coming soon to that weird independent movie theater one town over that's always about to go out of business.
05:10I miss dancing with you.
05:12I've still got a few minutes.
05:15No.
05:16Oh, God.
05:17No.
05:36Oh, God.
05:37Oh, God.
05:37Oh, God.
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