00:03Hey, Conan O'Brien here. Welcome to my photo shoot for the Oscar issue of The Hollywood Reporter.
00:11Do one more.
00:12Okay. That's what people say when they didn't like the first one. Here we go. Three, two.
00:23Hey, Conan O'Brien here, and welcome to my photo shoot for the big Oscar issue.
00:30Of The Hollywood Reporter. It was better. Yeah.
00:36I feel that I am prepared for this year's Oscars. Not only have we worked on some material, but I've
00:44also spent a massive amount of time working on my body, crafting it, sculpting it.
00:51I use a lot of turn-of-the-century 1902-1903 gym equipment, some of it found at the Wreck
00:57of the Titanic.
00:58I have a sculpted, sculpted upper body, which I think is key. My silhouette will be fantastic. My posture is
01:04superb. It's going to be great.
01:10There's a certain point during the preparation process where you realize you've gone too far.
01:15I had a scale Dolby Theatre built in my basement, and I've hired lookalikes for all the stars.
01:23Timothee Chalamet, Michael B. Jordan, the Scarsguards. I've actually just got the Scarsguards. They were available.
01:29And I've run through the Oscars 75 times in my basement, and it's starting to be diminishing returns.
01:36You know? So, I think I need to just do the show now.
01:43People have pointed out to me that as the night goes on, you're playing to mostly a room filled with
01:49people who have lost their chance to win an Oscar.
01:52But I've been playing for losers for my entire career, for a huge swath of my late-night show that
02:00people that came to see my taping felt like they had lost already.
02:04This has been excellent preparation.
02:09My main goal is to entertain as the Oscar host.
02:14But there's another thing that I need to provide as well, which is empathy.
02:20I spend a lot of time backstage consoling people who've lost.
02:24People don't see that part.
02:26In the commercial breaks, I'm telling people that they're better off without an Oscar.
02:32The Oscar will ruin their career, as it has for so many.
02:36It's not true.
02:37They really should have won.
02:39No one wants to hang out with a loser.
02:41I think that is my biggest role, is a consoler.
02:45That's what I do.
02:46So the jokes are just part of it.
02:52My biggest takeaway from hosting last year was that the Oscar statues are not well-guarded.
02:58They're on a big table.
02:59They have, I think, an intern looking after them, who leaves frequently for a wedge of coffee cake.
03:05So I took Best Animated Short.
03:10That's in my home.
03:11And I also have Best Supporting Actress.
03:15I have both of those.
03:16And I'm going to try and get this year Best Actor, if I can, and one for Cinematography, just to
03:24fill out the set.
03:29I think the headline, Conan Fails to Show, was second Oscar.
03:33That would follow me for quite some time.
03:36You know?
03:36This year, I'm going to use Google Maps.
03:40Last year, I tried to wing it, almost missed the show.
03:43I need to be there and show up.
03:45And not showing up in show business can follow you for a long time.
03:49It's hard to get work after that.
03:50Other headline I want to avoid, aliens attack during Oscars.
03:54Mankind enslaved.
03:56I don't want that following me around.
04:10When you first walk out there, your biggest fear often is, should I have had the plastic surgery a few
04:20months earlier?
04:21Because last year, I had a lot of swelling still.
04:24That was a mistake.
04:25I had major work done three days before the Oscars.
04:30And you could see, I looked like I was in Guillermo del Tormo's Frankenstein.
04:40I think that's the biggest fear, is that maybe if you've had a little nip or tuck, that maybe you
04:45did it too close to the show.
04:47That's a problem.
04:53I think you want something to go wrong occasionally.
04:56I like that feeling.
04:57Humans are really good at noticing when something's spontaneous.
05:00When something goes a little off, it's great.
05:03Now there's off, and then there's really off.
05:06You don't want really off.
05:07You want slightly off.
05:08You want comically off.
05:10You know, someone dropping their Oscar.
05:15Maybe a wardrobe malfunction.
05:17That's the kind of off I want.
05:20There's other offs we don't want.
05:23You want the good off.
05:25Do you want me to keep explaining this?
05:26Because I can go for 40 minutes.
05:27There's the good off, and then there's off.
05:31And you don't want that off.
05:33I don't know why I became Nixon at the end, but I did.
05:40Yeah, there are fewer and fewer things that bring us together.
05:43That's just the way it is in our fractured society.
05:48So it is nice.
05:49It's nice to be talking to a large audience, not just in our country, but around the world.
05:54It's a global event.
05:55It's a very cool evening.
05:57And a rare opportunity to talk to more than just your little silo of fans.
06:06So I actually love that about the Oscars.
06:10I said it to them last year when they called.
06:12They said it's an honor to do it, because it's a big audience, and it's an event I grew
06:17up watching, and it's nice to be part of it.
06:23People ask me all the time, do you still get nervous?
06:26Absolutely.
06:27It's not the cartoon, ah, I'm nervous.
06:31You get very focused.
06:32I think that's necessary.
06:34I think if you don't feel some sense of urgency and intensity, something's wrong.
06:40What helps is to prepare, do a lot of work, load up on a lot of ideas that you like,
06:47ah, and
06:48then go out there and do your best.
06:50But at the same time, if I get up at a small wedding and I've been asked to give a
06:55toast,
06:56I get really focused beforehand.
06:58And I've had people say to me, what are you doing?
07:00I'm like, leave me alone.
07:01I've got to give this toast at a wedding with literally 15 people, because I want it to be
07:06good.
07:06If you want something to be good, it doesn't matter what the scale is.
07:09This happens to be a really big scale.
07:11So, yeah, I would say focus, intensity, and a little sprinkling of nerves is a good thing.
07:22I genuinely love seeing people who have worked really hard have their moment.
07:30It's thrilling to see that.
07:31Often, I don't know who these people are, or I haven't met them personally.
07:34But when you see someone who was a cinematographer or an editor, and they've been working in this
07:42business for a really long time, win an Oscar, and you're standing off to the side.
07:4815 feet away, it is hard to be cynical.
07:52It's a really special moment, and you're getting to see someone have that moment repeatedly.
07:59I'm on a conveyor belt of joy.
08:01I'm just sitting there watching all these people have one of the greatest moments of
08:04their life, and not just them, their families, relatives, friends, anyone they know watching.
08:11Fortunately, the losers are quickly ushered away.
08:16I don't have to see that part.
08:22Yeah, it's a really good question.
08:23Who the hell do I think I am?
08:24Who the hell do you think you are?
08:26Huh?
08:26Good one, huh?
08:28Good comeback.
08:30Good comeback.
08:38If you use any of this, I'll kill you.
08:48All right.
08:51You
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