00:00So I'm looking right into camera,
00:01into like a faceless void.
00:03Okay.
00:11Well, the one category they should have is best host.
00:14So every year, the Oscar host is guaranteed an Oscar.
00:21Cut!
00:25What the , Tarantino?
00:28Does it make you nervous when I dance with it?
00:30A little bit.
00:31When you're getting ready to do the Oscars,
00:33you have to have cosmetic surgeries.
00:35And then the area I really should be focusing on,
00:37I just leave alone.
00:38Because testing shows,
00:39people love watching a pumpkin rot in late fall.
00:43And that's what this thing is.
00:45Okay, four times please.
00:46What?
00:46Everyone laughed at that take.
00:49My hairspray usage before and during the Oscars is massive.
00:53So, last year we had the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers fly in.
00:58Military cargo planes filled with the strongest hairsprays,
01:02which are not made in the United States.
01:04You have to get them in other parts of the world,
01:06because they use a lot of goat in the hairspray.
01:08I love anything that I'm in.
01:11That's my sickness.
01:12Okay, that's a wrap.
01:13I've never smiled for 10 seconds in my life.
01:15The Oscars, live March 15th on ABC and Hulu.
01:19Man, that is awkward.
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