Minder. S07 E01. It's a Sorry Lorry, Morry.

deaddogsdam

First broadcast 2nd January 1989.  Dennis Waterman - Terry George Cole - Arthur Glynn Edwards - Dave Ronald Fraser - Self-Inflicted Sid Roy Kinnear - Fat Charlie Peter Childs - Rycott Michael Povey - Jones Mark Farmer - Justin Garfield Morgan - Supt. Mason James Marcus - Morrie Michael Troughton - Melish Robin Cameron - MacDonald Kenneth Farrington - George (as Ken Farrington) Steve McFadden - Mickey Terry John - Bertie Thomas Kett - Harry Catrina Hylton - Girl in Launderette (as Catrina Hylton-Hull) Claire Toeman - Young Mother Tom Owen - Keith Michael Stainton - Park Keeper Stephen Gray - Police Constable Chris Pitt - Teenager Charles Baillie - Punter Aaron Mason - Peter

Transcript

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01:00.

01:01.

01:02.

01:11.

01:12What is it?

01:14Wallpaper.

01:15Cleantele.

01:16I'll mix the drinks wrong.

01:18Or what?

01:19What?

01:21What?

01:22What is it?

01:24Do not ag me, Dave.

01:25I'm depressed.

01:27I'm depressed and all.

01:28This is all very depressing.

02:05I'm depressed.

02:13Are you all right, then?

02:15Yeah.

02:1712s.

02:53I'm dying, Terry.

02:55I'm dying.

02:56We're all dying, Arthur.

02:57I'm speaking business-wise.

03:00Oh, yeah?

03:01A man of my sensitivity and middle years does not need to be reminded of physical mortality, thank you very

03:06much.

03:07Rage, rage against the dying of the blight.

03:10Eh?

03:11Dylan Thomas.

03:13Man after me own art.

03:15Oh, yeah.

03:16And a piss artist.

03:20And I think you'll find it's light, not blight.

03:23Not if you'd seen his liver.

03:27Now, you see, Terry, you don't understand the pressure the creative person is under.

03:33The terrible strain trying to persuade people to accept your personal vision.

03:39I ought to mention your personal checks.

03:41That's it.

03:41Mock and titter, mock and titter.

03:43Bung the odd mail in when I'm at my lowest ebb.

03:45And full flow.

03:46Oh, you'll see.

03:47You'll see.

03:48My phoenix will rise.

03:49And daily enterprises will again be a force to reckon with.

03:53He may be in the gutter, but he's looking at the drains.

03:57What?

04:01Come on.

04:03What are you doing?

04:05What are you doing?

04:06Well, it's half of this or physical damage, George.

04:08I mean, you want your story to sound convincing, don't you?

04:37All I need is one really good coup to set me up.

04:41Yeah, look, if it's anything crooked, just leave me out, all right?

04:45Oh, and another thing.

04:46Something has got to be done about self-inflicted.

04:50What do you suggest?

04:51A stomach pump?

04:53Come on, look, he's given me serious headaches.

04:56Oh, don't talk to me about headaches.

04:58Oh, look at this.

05:00Who'd have thought it was once a major clearinghouse for top-class consumer durables?

05:06Never mind all that.

05:07What are we going to do about self-inflicted?

05:09You know, am I talking about lost empires, and you're giving me one of life's dedicated losers?

05:15Have you no sensitivity for my dilemma?

05:18Sensitivity?

05:20He was sick on my duvet.

05:23Really?

05:24Yeah.

05:25That's funny.

05:26I've never known him eat anything.

05:52Mark, allow me to introduce you to self-inflicted Sid.

05:56One of the manors more colourful, Miss Chance.

06:00Looks like a bupah salesman's worst nightmare.

06:02Aye.

06:03Rumour has it he was once nearly employed as a government health-hunting.

06:08What are you going to do?

06:09Pick me up because I've got a bit of a chest problem?

06:13Where is Arthur, by the way?

06:14Who?

06:15Daley.

06:16What am I, grass and what?

06:18If you want him, you find him.

06:21Do you let lowlife talk to like that, God?

06:24I am a tolerant man.

06:26Apart from which, no one tells him anything anyway.

06:29Come on.

06:33There you go, Maury.

06:34Fresh as a daisy.

06:35See for yourself.

06:37Where are you getting all this produce, Justin?

06:40Ask me no questions.

06:41I'll tell you no porkies.

06:43Have I got a trade or what?

06:44Okay.

06:45Slip them into the shop.

06:47Done.

06:56All right, chaps.

06:58How's it going?

06:59Okay.

07:00Yeah?

07:00Yeah.

07:01Cracking on.

07:03Where do you want these?

07:04How to pack or what?

07:05So do you show you where.

07:06All right.

07:09Flash little Sudden.

07:15Everything all right?

07:16Sweet as a nut.

07:19It's in a slaughter.

07:22Invoice listing, what's in it?

07:27Your problem is you're in a time warp.

07:29Time warp?

07:30Me?

07:31Don't be ridiculous.

07:33Listen, to run a business these days, it's all high tech.

07:36You punch a few buttons and there it is, all on the little green screens for you.

07:40It's microchip mentality, you see.

07:43That's what you need to earn a crust.

07:45Mind you, I suppose it can't be easy to adjust as a senior citizen, can it?

07:50Keep it up.

07:51Keep it up.

07:51I bet there's something else you're having trouble with these days and all.

07:53That's it.

07:54You're fired.

07:56Oh, God.

07:57Good joke.

07:58Is it, Terry?

07:59Well, Arthur didn't think so, no.

08:01I hope this is a social visit and not an official one-taff.

08:03Just making the wrong, Arthur.

08:05Ah.

08:05Here.

08:06I've heard you've been made up to a sergeant.

08:08You.

08:09That's right, Terry.

08:10Let me introduce you to my new colleague.

08:12DC Jack MacDonald.

08:14They get younger every day, don't they?

08:16Don't get any better looking, though.

08:18Jack is fresh from the highlands of Scotland and a keen student of the criminal classes.

08:22Well, he won't learn much about him here, will he, Terry?

08:25Not many, no.

08:26As a respected member of the business community, I am pleased to welcome an officer of the law.

08:31Arthur Daly at your dedicated service.

08:33I know all about you.

08:34I've read your file.

08:36And where I come from, we don't fraternise with villains.

08:40No, no, no.

08:40A few misdemeanours in the dim and distant does not make me a villain, Jock.

08:44As your senior colleague here will no doubt testify.

08:46And I don't like to get called Jock.

08:48You remember that.

08:49Who trained him?

08:51Rycup?

08:52You've got to learn a few more manners, Jock.

08:54Now, now, Terry, let us not demean ourselves with unseemly hostility.

08:58Well, it's very nice to see you again, Taff, but you must excuse me.

09:01Busy time for me now, you know, reorganising, restructuring.

09:04Oh, excuse me.

09:08Arthur Daly Enterprises.

09:09Arthur Daly himself speaking.

09:12Arthur?

09:13It's me, Sid.

09:15Ah.

09:15Hello, Sidney.

09:17Can you talk?

09:19Oh, yes, yes, I'm listening.

09:21I thought I'd better ring and give you the office.

09:24Plot's been down here, sneaking about off you.

09:28Didn't declare what for.

09:30But, Arthur, I didn't tell him nothing.

09:32I kept well stunned.

09:33So, you'll be on your toes.

09:35Is that all, Sidney?

09:37Well, I told him to clear off, didn't I?

09:40It was that cafe from down the local and some scotch gig I hadn't seen before.

09:46Thank you, Sidney.

09:48Arthur already has that information.

09:51What?

09:54Misguided staff loyalty, you understand?

09:57Hello, Sidney.

09:57You're a cretin.

09:59Hold on, hold on.

09:59Where's he ringing from?

10:00I neither know nor care, Terry.

10:02Oi, you.

10:02Where are you ringing from?

10:03Who is this?

10:05Who was that?

10:06It's me, Terry.

10:08Where are you ringing from?

10:09Oh, Till.

10:12Who is that other geezer?

10:14What's happening?

10:16Look, are you ringing from my flat?

10:17Well, um, yeah.

10:20But I took the keys off you.

10:21How'd you get back in there?

10:22Well, it was an emergency.

10:24Tell her through the kitchen window.

10:28You broke him through my kitchen window?

10:30Don't worry, Till, there ain't much damage.

10:34At least, I don't think so.

10:40Oh, God.

10:41I'm gonna do a bit of eviction.

10:43You want to lodge a complaint?

10:44Like breaking the entering charges against self-inflicted?

10:47No, thanks.

10:49If I want any help, I'll get a policeman.

10:51An English one.

10:54All of them?

10:56Throughout the park.

10:58And you discovered this when you unlocked the park this morning, sir?

11:01It was five hours ago when I reported it.

11:05Well, you have got more important problems to deal with, sir.

11:08Excuse me.

11:12Tell me, Mellish, why are the wooden tops not dealing with this?

11:16Well, you know I go.

11:17Because the super told you to.

11:20Take his statement.

11:21I'll wait in the car.

11:26Come here.

11:31Help!

11:33Help!

11:33Come here.

11:34Help!

11:35Help!

11:37Help!

12:01Oh

12:02Or you boy wake up

12:07What's happening? Where am I? I'm gonna kill you

12:12Chill it's you mate. Did you hear what I said? You're going to kill me

12:20Your eyes he always hear from this side

12:30Myer's garden center. Oh hello Jimmy. What's happening?

12:35He's what?

12:37When?

12:38What was it?

12:41Yeah of course I have

12:43No

12:46Okay

12:47Thanks for letting me know

12:49Okay

12:53Bad news Murray

12:55It ain't good

12:58Lebanese Larry dropped dead this morning

13:00Heart attack

13:02Bloody inconvenient

13:03I was supposed to have a trade with him this evening

13:07Well look I know it's none of my business but if there's anything I can do to help

13:10Not unless you know someone I can knock out a lorry load of electrical goods to on the hurry up

13:15Leave it to me I know just a man

13:16Oh yeah who

13:18Heart the daily

13:20Heart the roof

13:23I'm

13:37I'm

13:38I'm

13:47I'm

13:49I'm

13:51I'm

14:00So what sort of dough are we talking about here Charlie?

14:03Well that's a monkey deposit and two or a week rent

14:07Oh

14:07That's a bit strong isn't it?

14:09That's a good side

14:10Plenty of passing trade

14:11Could you

14:12Could you just move on then?

14:14Oh

14:15God

14:16Arthur what sort of moat is this?

14:18One of rapidly increasing depreciation

14:24There is nothing to follow up

14:25You type that report you file it and you forget it

14:28I've got more to worry about than a bunch of flowers

14:30Yeah but what about the quality of life governor?

14:32I mean the ratepayers rights to behold the beauty of nature in our public parks

14:38You have got a disturbing romantic view of life Mellish

14:41Would you all be fits an officer of the law?

14:43The governor still keeping you busy on the great park robberies?

14:46Is he Ron?

14:47Well somebody's got to protect the quality of life for the public

14:50Aye aye but it just sort of occurred to me like that it's hardly the kind of crime that warrants

14:56the attention of a detective sergeant now is it?

14:58No vandalism of this magnitude it does require the attention of a more senior experienced officer I believe

15:06Oh I'm sure the governor has chosen the right man for the job Ron

15:10Just brought in a bloke reckons he's been kidnapped chloroformed and had his lorry nicked

15:13The desk sergeant thinks someone should have a word with him

15:15Oh yeah alright Harry get his details I'll be along in a few moments

15:20Come on Charlie undo your seatbelt

15:23Undo it that's it come on

15:25Look I don't want you to think I'm being rude or anything Charlie but have you ever considered the scargill

15:30diet?

15:31Done wonders for our indoors

15:33We've got lots of you

15:34Don't get personal after

15:36It's glandular innit?

15:38I have to eat a lot

15:39Yeah I can see that wood

15:43Is this it?

15:45Yeah?

15:46Alright isn't it?

15:50Plenty of passing trade

15:53American tourists looking for St Paul's on a Sunday

15:55Well it ain't always this quiet

15:58People cut through here to get to the high road round the corner

16:01It's a bit small innit?

16:03From what I hear you ain't got a lot to put in it anyway

16:06I'm planning to expand in the very near

16:08Well it'll do till then won't it?

16:17No

16:18Fifty sobs a week? No deposit?

16:22I asked you how long you've been employed by the firm Mr Babcock

16:28Er...

16:29Not very long

16:31Just recently

16:32Recently?

16:35Could you be a little more precise?

16:37About a week

16:39Four days to be precise

16:42Were you asked to supply references?

16:44Yeah, yeah

16:47I'm a driver

16:50That's what I do for a living

16:52It's me job

16:53So this sort of thing has happened to you before, has it?

17:00Pardon?

17:03Thanks, but I don't think I'll bother

17:06Have you had a look at the little green...

17:08No, thanks very much, I'll pass, sir

17:09Thanks very much

17:10Alright mate, cheers

17:14No joy?

17:15Nah

17:17Would you buy a second hand motor off of Arthur Daly?

17:19Don't be daft

17:20But I know a way you could lose him and cop all the dough

17:23Yeah, well don't bother me, I'm not interested

17:26Have you seen him yet?

17:27No, I think I'll dwell at the Winchester

17:29He's bound to turn up there at some point

17:30Do you fancy a drink?

17:32Nah, maybe later

17:33I've got things to do, I've got to sort out the flat

17:36Take me washing down the laundrette all day

17:37Why don't you get a bird to do all that stuff?

17:40Nah

17:41Nah, you let a Richard start doing the domestics

17:42Next thing you know they want to move in, don't they?

17:44Yeah, I'll put you right

17:46Here, tell, Arthur ain't skint, is he?

17:49Well, he's pleading poverty, but...

17:51Nah, he's got to have something stashed away somewhere, hasn't he?

17:54Listen, I've got to go, mate

17:55I'll see you later, alright?

17:56Alright, tell ya

17:57But sir, this man is lying through his teeth

17:59He's set himself up, he is a part of it

18:01He's confessed to that, has he?

18:03Made a statement and signed it

18:06Well, not exactly, no, but if I...

18:08You've checked his credentials, been in touch with his previous employers?

18:11The only one he gave me

18:13So what evidence do you have to justify holding him any longer?

18:16Instincts, sir, plus years of experience

18:19I don't want to hear about your self-deluding instincts

18:24When the medical examiner has finished with Mr Babcock, he is free to leave

18:28Is that clear?

18:30Crystal is opaque by comparison, sir

18:37Alright there, Harry

18:38Oh, hello

18:40Arthur

18:41Arthur

18:41The man himself, I've been looking all over for you

18:44So I am

18:45Butler your finest bubbly please, Dave

18:46I wish to celebrate Arthur's good fortune

18:48You must know something he doesn't know

18:50Boy, there's little I know that Arthur hasn't already forgotten

18:53This is Mr Numero Uno, the Governor

18:55Capo de Capo on the manor

18:57In that case, you must know something I don't know

19:01Bollinger, alright?

19:03That'll do nicely

19:03I don't take plastic

19:06May I ask, what is this good fortune I'm celebrating?

19:10The acquisition of enough electrical domestic appliances to fill your slaughter

19:14Warehouse?

19:15Warehouse to capacity

19:17Interested?

19:40I'm disappointed Arthur, I'm really disappointed

19:42I didn't say I wasn't interested, I'm just thinking about it, that's all

19:46But the person I used to know was decisive

19:49Had plenty of street cred, always knew a good deal when he saw it and went for it

19:52Maybe this person who I've always considered to be my mentor, my inspiration, has passed it

20:00This person you're referring to, do I know him?

20:04It's all about you, Arthur

20:05Me, me, a whole history, am I?

20:09So what happened to Mr Numero Uno, Capo de, whatever it was?

20:13Look, precisely

20:13The way I hear it, you're not exactly cracking away on the entrepreneurial front anymore

20:17Which causes me distress and disillusion

20:20I mean, especially when the people in our game say Arthur who?

20:24They do?

20:26Who do?

20:27Well, exactly, you don't know who

20:29Look, just because I'm keeping a low profile at the moment

20:32In order to reorganise and restructure my growth potential

20:35Does not mean that I'm no longer a front-runner in the black economy stakes

20:39And I do not need a young whippersnapper like you to tell me otherwise

20:44All right, Arthur, have it your way

20:45I'm just trying to do you a favour down to the old pals act

20:48Hold on, hold on, hold on

20:49How much did you say this Morris What's It was asking?

20:58You local?

21:00Sorry?

21:00Do you live around here?

21:02No, I travel all the way from Birmingham just so I can do my washing in here

21:06I like a girl with a sense of humour

21:09You know, you remind me of someone

21:13Really?

21:14My dad

21:15He's going through a midlife crisis as well

21:27It's like I said, he wants to get shot on the hurry-up, it's a licence to print

21:31Be a nice little earner for you, Arthur

21:33Yeah, you see, I've got this complicated cash flow situation just at a minute

21:37Don't worry about it, everything's negotiable, you taught me that

21:40Sides, I've already given the office that you're an honourable man to do business with

21:44Trust my judgement, don't he?

21:46Oh, what are you doing here?

21:50Just want to check that everything's okay, Arthur

21:53You know, after that trouble we had with the odd lot that go away, Sydney

21:57We're trying to talk business here

22:00One of our own, is he?

22:07Who is that loan?

22:09Self-inflicted

22:10One of life's tragic bits of flotsam, washed up on the sea of humanity

22:14I've bung him a few quid from time to time to do the odd menial

22:17Oh, right

22:18Yeah, it's one of the burdens I have to bear because of my incurable, humane and charitable nature

22:25Why's he called self-inflicted?

22:27He clocked the scar on the side of his boat

22:29Striped himself with a razor in order to look the part

22:32Figured it would make him more acceptable to the fraternity

22:34Yeah, some people would do anything to climb the social ladder, won't they?

22:47You interested in that?

22:49Yeah, you flogging them?

22:50That's right, yeah

22:52I just got my licence, didn't I?

22:54Looking for my first car, innit?

22:57Look, do yourself a favour, go and look somewhere else, eh?

23:00Apart from a dodgy rear axle, the gearbox is on the way out

23:03Yeah?

23:04Yeah

23:06Let me give you some advice, you see

23:07Cars, they're, what, are like women?

23:11Yeah, you always remember the first one

23:13Now, you don't want to go through life remembering a nightmare, do you?

23:17Nah, of course you don't

23:17Go on, good luck

23:21Cheers

23:25Terry tells me you're having a bit of trouble shifting that pile of old bangers you've got lined up outside

23:29his gaff

23:30All good clean runners, bargain half the price

23:33Half the price would be about right

23:35That's the trouble with the punter today

23:38They want to steal them off the poor honest trader

23:41Are we nearly there?

23:42Give me a mirror on a stick and I might be able to tell you

23:45You should have come in my van, Arthur

23:46I do not go to important meets in a van

23:50I have an image to maintain

23:51Oh yeah, I'll see how this motor would impress anyone

23:56Right, go to the end of here, chuck a left, then another left, and a right, and then we're there

24:04I could shift those motors for you, Arthur

24:06Yeah, if you're talking about having them disappear into the crush and then claiming they've been nicked, forget it

24:12Insurance companies are well up on that these days

24:15Hard enough with one motor, what chance would half a dozen?

24:18Nah, this is a different move

24:20Guaranteed no comebacks, and all intents and purposes totally legit

24:24And what does this miracle of marketing entail?

24:27Let me worry about that, Arthur

24:30Thing is, you stand to make near enough every sov you're asking on those motors

24:34Minus my small commission for services rendered, of course

24:36So why do I have this terrible feeling of foreboding?

24:41Dunno, Arthur

24:43Mind you, they do say the old bottle starts to twinge a bit as you reach a certain age

24:50Oh!

24:53So what do you think, Arthur? We got a deal?

24:55I think I might be able to accommodate you, Morrie

24:57Provided you're happy about the financial arrangements

25:00Fifty percent when you collect, and a balance in a couple of days, right?

25:03Yeah, you see, I'm moving a lot of capital around at the moment

25:06Don't worry, believe me, I understand cash flow problems

25:10And young Justin here tells me you're kosher

25:12The man's word is a legend in the business, isn't it, Arthur?

25:16Well, modesty forbids, but I do have a certain reputation for total integrity

25:23I do hope so, Arthur

25:25It does cause me a lot of pain if I have to go looking for my creditors

25:30And them, of course

25:32Yes, I'm sure, I'm sure

25:34And it's all right about the transport?

25:36Sure, no problem

25:38Just let me know when you're unloading, I'll get someone to come and pick it up

25:41Oh, no, no, no, no need for that, one of my men will bring it back

25:44Please, it's a courtesy, I insist

25:46Oh, well, you put it like that, what can I say?

25:56Tomorrow morning, then?

25:57As soon as I've been up the bank

26:00Here

26:00Well, what are you giving it to me for?

26:02Because I'm not going with you, I've got a lot of running about to do

26:06I want to get shot of this cotchle as a job lot

26:08No more messing about with bits and pieces

26:10That's the new business dynamic today

26:13Buy and then sell without going near a commodity

26:16All right, then, cough up

26:18What for?

26:19Well, if you're not giving me a lift, I want a cab fare

26:21And what is wrong with public transport, may I inquire?

26:25Nothing

26:25What do you think?

26:25No, no, no, hold on, hold on

26:26Here you are

26:29And I expect change

26:31So I'll see you back at the lock-up

26:33Yeah

26:33Oh, I nearly forgot

26:35Listen, park the lorry up on Fat Charlie's site

26:38The one I'm going to be renting from him

26:39You can't miss it

26:40It's in Cornhill Street, back of the High Street, all right?

26:42Oh, hold on, hold on, what's wrong with the yard at the lock-up?

26:45Nothing, Terry

26:45But it's a big lorry

26:47Where am I going to park the motor if I want to be there?

26:50The street?

26:52What, and be prey to envy vandalism

27:01The street?

27:04Taxi!

27:11That's how he gets a pull on the way over there

27:13It's not our problem anymore, is it?

27:15And if he doesn't, then we're another five grand in, aren't we?

27:27That's all right

27:32You're right

27:32B

27:32Wow, and you're right

27:37That's all right

27:46You're right

27:46And you're right

28:24So what do you think, Keith?

28:25I'm always up for a trade, if the price is right, Arthur.

28:29At the price I'm asking, you'll think you stole it from me.

28:32That means it's hooky.

28:35Don't be ridiculous, Keith.

28:37No, no, no, there's no question of this merchandise being suspect.

28:40On that, you have my committed word.

28:42All right, all right. Let's have a look. Where and when?

28:46Well, shall we say an hour's time at Winchester?

28:49Okay, then. See ya.

29:06Hello, Ronnie. What are you doing here?

29:09This is my case. What are you doing here?

29:11Your case? Oh.

29:13Oh, that wasn't the impression the super gave me.

29:20Is this common behaviour down here?

29:23What behaviour is that, Mac?

29:24This undignified rivalry between so-called colleagues.

29:29Different north of the border, is it, then?

29:34What's the score, then?

29:35Well, as you can see, Ron, we're endeavouring to discover if it's still loaded or not.

29:39Loaded? Of course it won't be loaded, will it?

29:42I mean, what sort of an idiot would leave a stolen lorry out in the open like this

29:46if he hadn't already unloaded it?

30:09It is obvious to me that they panicked and just dumped it here.

30:13Well, Max has heard in logic, doesn't it, Ron?

30:17Not that it is of any particular interest, but what makes you think that?

30:21Well, if they panicked, it would be for only one reason.

30:24Like they'd been spotted.

30:26And if they had, we'd have heard about it, wouldn't we?

30:28Not necessarily, no.

30:30They might have thought they'd been spotted.

30:33Unlikely, though, isn't it?

30:34I mean, it's not unknown for stolen lorry loads to be packed up somewhere quiet

30:37and then picked up and unloaded at a more opportune moment.

30:41That is your theory, is it?

30:42My experience, Ron, my experience.

30:44Your theories? What bloody experience?

30:46I am the experienced officer here.

30:48And I say we'll get the forensic team down here immediately

30:51to go over this for dabs and anything else that might show up.

30:55In that case, you'd better inform the super, then.

30:57Why should I bother him for what is routine procedure?

31:01Because it was him who told me if the lorry was loaded, we'd put it under surveillance.

31:09There you go, Harry.

31:10Cheers, Dave.

31:12So come on, when's this geezer arriving, then?

31:14What geezer?

31:16Well, it's bio you've sorted.

31:17Oh, Keith.

31:18Well, he should be on his way now.

31:20Soon as he gets here, we'll schlep over to the lorry

31:22so he can confirm the cargo.

31:24Then you run it round to his place for unshipping.

31:27Well, then what about the lorry?

31:28Take it back to the site.

31:29We'll be picked up by one of Morrie's men.

31:33Arthur!

31:34Arthur!

31:36Charlie, what are you doing here?

31:38Are you supposed to be fixing that porter thingy for my new car sales office?

31:41That's just it, Arthur.

31:43I was on my way to do it, wasn't I?

31:45And what do I see when I arrive?

31:47Oh, the lorry!

31:48Well, I didn't think it mattered since I was on the verge of renting the place from you.

31:51It's not in the way, is it?

31:53I've got a feeling the old Bill might think so.

31:57What?

31:58What did you say?

31:59They were crawling all over it as I went by the place

32:02and I didn't hang about to inquire why.

32:04That place is down to me, Arthur.

32:06If you've put me in it...

32:07Hold up, hold up.

32:09What do you actually mean the old Bill were all over it?

32:12Looking through it.

32:13You know, they had their back open and they were looking to see what was in and that.

32:18Oh, my good God.

32:19What do you mean, oh, my good Gordon?

32:21This is straight, isn't it?

32:22You told me it was straight.

32:23It is, it is.

32:24So why are you oh, my good Gordon-ing it, then?

32:27It's a natural reflex response to Plod probing my property.

32:31I'm as mystified as you are.

32:33And I don't like the smell of this.

32:35Bloody right, it stinks.

32:36Now, now, you stuck this up.

32:38What's going on?

32:39Leave it out to her.

32:40I only know as much as Arthur.

32:41Tell him Arthur.

32:42He's right.

32:42What's right?

32:44Justine's right.

32:44Yes, I ain't right.

32:45Bloody right, it ain't right.

32:46What ain't right?

32:47Now, listen, you.

32:48I don't want any of your lies.

32:49I don't want any of that evasive crap.

32:51I want the full SP and I want it now.

32:53You got it?

32:54Terrence, what can I say?

32:55I purchased a lorry load of goods various.

32:58In good faith.

32:59Good faith?

33:00You said it was proper.

33:02You said you checked it out.

33:03I did, I did.

33:06Oh, insofar as one can in the circumstances.

33:09I knew it.

33:11Well, I could hardly run a full security check on the man, could I?

33:14Justine told me he was sound.

33:15He seems sound.

33:17He is sound, isn't he?

33:19Well, there has to be an element of trust in business,

33:21or there'd be no business, would there?

33:23Tell me I'm not hearing this.

33:25Tell me I haven't stood for it again.

33:27Well, I don't know what you're moaning about.

33:29If I've been deceived,

33:29I stand to lose considerable capital investment.

33:32And I stand to lose my liberties down to you again.

33:34Steady on, Ter.

33:35You ain't getting any younger, you know.

33:36No, neither am I.

33:37Look, thing is, Ter,

33:39if this does turn out to be a rongan,

33:41I mean, who's to know you was involved, eh?

33:42I mean, we're all gonna keep you still,

33:43and so what can they prove?

33:45What can they prove?

33:46Oh, nothing about you or him or that geezer Morrie,

33:50but my dabs are all over the cub of that lorry, aren't they?

33:53Yeah, and it's on my side.

33:55Yeah, but it ain't a problem, Charlie.

33:56I mean, it ain't your fault

33:57if someone dumps a lorry on your site without your knowledge, is it?

34:00Dave, could I say something?

34:02I'm getting tired of this constant reference to my age.

34:05Shut up, you coming.

34:06Where are we going?

34:07Where are we going?

34:08See a man called Morrie about a lorry.

34:09Andrew, you're coming in all.

34:10Come on.

34:11Hold on, hang on a minute.

34:12Look, maybe we should check this out

34:14before we go steaming into Morrie.

34:16I mean, he's got a few tasty geezers around there, you know.

34:18He's right, Terry, he's right.

34:19Well, I think the best thing is for me to dwell here

34:21and you go and have a look.

34:22Well, I go and have a look.

34:23Well, I can hardly put my boat on offer, can I?

34:25I might be recognised.

34:26What happens if I'm bleeding recognised?

34:29Nobody need be recognised.

34:31Follow me.

34:31Harry, you're driving.

34:37Come here.

34:54About time they got here.

34:56How long do you think we'll be sad to you then, Gov?

34:59If nothing happens, until we get relieved at midnight.

35:05Last night's surveillance detail I was assigned.

35:07We're waiting for a gang of rustlers.

35:11Oh, laughing matter.

35:13Back where I come from, sheep rustling's almost a capital offence,

35:15I'll have you know.

35:19At least we could go for a wee in the bushes.

35:25Say when he'd be back, did he?

35:26No, not exactly.

35:28But he did tell me to ask you to hang on for a bit, if you can.

35:38Hey, up.

35:39Couple of geezers in a motor.

35:41Take a blink as we go by.

35:43Go on, then.

35:45Listen, you got me into this.

35:46You go on, then.

35:54Good God.

35:55What's that, Gov?

35:57I could have sworn that...

36:01No.

36:02No, I couldn't get that lucky.

36:04Hold on!

36:05He's over us!

36:06He's over us!

36:07What's up with you?

36:08I was right caught in that car.

36:09It's all on top.

36:10It's all on top.

36:12Is it all right, Till?

36:13Well, they're not following, no, but...

36:16That's it, isn't it?

36:17That confirms it.

36:18And we've just passed a van.

36:20I'll take odds.

36:20It's Chocka with them.

36:21Oh, no.

36:22Terry, you'll have a word with that Maury.

36:24I want my money back.

36:26I want my money back to work.

36:35Arthur!

36:36It's nice to see you so soon.

36:38Come to play me off, have you?

36:40No.

36:41I am.

36:42Oh, yeah?

36:42Get here, though.

36:43All right, leave it at that, Till.

36:45Leave it at that.

36:46Let's be sensible about it, you see?

36:48See what the man's got to say first, yeah?

36:51Okay.

36:55Some problem, is there?

37:01If he comes in, tell him to give me a bell and let me know what's happening.

37:04Will do.

37:06I hate to have to say this, but it's a sorry lorry, Maury.

37:09What is this?

37:11Who are you trying to kid?

37:13Are you seriously telling me you didn't know that load wasn't from a jump-up?

37:18No, no, there's been some misunderstanding.

37:20No mention was made of the fact that the lorry was stolen.

37:23And it's put my man here, Terry, in considerable jeopardy.

37:26But, but, more importantly, I want my readies returned.

37:30Can you believe these clowns?

37:32We'll see who the clowns are when I give the full SP to the old bill.

37:35Hey, can't do that, Till.

37:36That's grassing.

37:37You'll be bang out of order.

37:39Oh, me doing porridge for nothing, isn't I suppose?

37:41Look, tell the filth whatever you want.

37:43Who are they going to believe, you two losers with form or me?

37:48A respectable businessman who's never had a conviction in his life.

37:57There's no reason why I should be transported like a parcel.

38:01A man of my years and his proper back support.

38:03Shut it, Arthur, or we'll drop you off now while we're still moving.

38:07I've got it.

38:08I've just thought of a way to get you out of this, Till.

38:10Yeah, go on.

38:12Torch it.

38:13Do what?

38:14Burn it, set light to the thing.

38:15Then there's no chance for forensic.

38:17It's not a bad idea, Terry, not a bad idea at all.

38:20What are you talking about?

38:21Of course, if we could find a way to get the gear out first.

38:24Don't be daft, Arthur.

38:25Listen, who do you think is going to be lunatic enough to go near that thing now that the old

38:29bill are eyeballing it all the time, eh?

38:41How'd it go, then?

38:42If I said badly, Dave, that would be wildly optimistic.

38:46That's a good idea.

38:48Here, that geezer, was it?

38:51Excuse me, Dave.

38:55Sydney!

38:56How good to see a real friend and one of your own.

39:00Let me buy you a drink.

39:02What'll you have?

39:12Jack?

39:13All right, darling.

39:14Hello, mate.

39:14Hello.

39:15What are you doing round here?

39:17Looking for you.

39:18Oh, yeah.

39:18Why?

39:19See how my favourite one parent's getting on?

39:21Oh, you know, quiet desperation, but coping.

39:25Well, look, I can help you out there.

39:27Are you interested in earning a few quid for yourself and young Peter tomorrow?

39:31Do we have to wait that long?

39:36Hello, Don.

39:37Are you on them?

39:40Hello?

39:45Hello?

39:45Is that you, Don?

39:48Yes, gov.

39:50What's that strange noise?

39:52Sounds like a pig.

39:54It is.

39:56But you didn't hear that from me.

39:58What?

40:00Never mind.

40:01I, uh, just making sure you're still on ink.

40:04Terry, it's a doddle.

40:06We park up in the street round the back of the site because I haven't got that covered.

40:09How do you know?

40:10Well, I checked that out, didn't I?

40:12Look, with all due respect, Justin, I don't care what you've got worked out.

40:15I don't want anything to do with it.

40:17Terry, I do not understand your ingratitude.

40:20We are putting ourselves right on offer to save your skin.

40:23Save mine?

40:25Listen, it was you two who got me into this in the first place.

40:28And anyway, it's poor old Sid who's being put on offer, isn't it?

40:31How did you talk him into this?

40:33Didn't have to.

40:34Volunteered the moment he heard about your plight.

40:36Arthur.

40:37The man's brain is pickled.

40:39He doesn't know what he's letting himself in for.

40:42Where is he, anyway?

40:44Waiting in a van with several litres of lead free.

40:47I am not going to let that Welsh leak beat me to the collar.

40:50You know that, don't you, Mellish?

40:52I think I understand, gov.

41:05I don't know about this.

41:07Don't worry, Till, it's a million.

41:10No, I think Terry's right.

41:11I think we should go back to the flat and rethink our strategy.

41:13Believe my father, this is my big chance, innit?

41:17You promised me.

41:18See?

41:19Or you.

41:19Make sure you give that cab a good dowsing.

41:22Yeah.

41:23Look, Sid, we appreciate you trying to help and all that,

41:26but this could turn out really dodgy.

41:28Do you know what I'm saying?

41:29Don't worry about my balls, Till.

41:30You can rely on me.

41:32I'm one of your own, innit?

41:47Don't worry about it.

41:48All right.

41:49Right.

41:55So what do you reckon then?

41:57No problem, Till.

41:59I can get on top of the cabin.

42:01Back up. It's a longer bit.

42:03You'll have to back up.

42:06You'll have to back up.

42:07You'll have to back up.

42:09You'll have to back up. Back up a bit.

42:16That's enough. All right.

42:23Petrol.

42:25Petrol.

42:43Petrol.

42:45All right, mate.

42:47You sure about this?

42:49Maybe than me too.

42:53No.

43:04No.

43:06No.

43:09No.

43:11No.

43:12No.

43:34Hey, you! Get back!

43:37Back!

43:47Hey, hey? This could be something.

43:52Right, let's go for Gov!

43:56Come on, lads.

44:06Oh, my God!

44:14Stop! Stop!

44:19This is the police!

44:24Oh!

44:26Ow!

44:27Ow!

44:33Ow!

44:44Ah!

44:46You all right, Gov?

44:48Well, of course I'm all right, you cretin!

44:52Do you like a cigarette, sir?

44:53No, no, no, he's trying to give up.

45:03Hang on. Strong smell of petrol around here.

45:22I do not understand it, Dave. It says here the police blame arsonists.

45:27Self-inflicted said he never got a chance to light a match.

45:31Does it matter, Arthur?

45:32The thing is, Terry is well off the hook. It's a right result.

45:36Right result? I'd done five grand in cold.

45:41I don't know that. That's not so cold.

45:44Not in the least humorous, Dave. You're looking at a man facing financial ruin.

45:49Yeah, that reminds me.

45:51Justin just rang in, said to be round at Terry's about one o'clock.

45:54Said something about compensation.

45:59Compensation?

46:08All right, Peter, now!

46:39What the bloody hell have you done? Good, innit?

46:47what do you reckon it's done the trick innit what happened who has done this terrible thing

46:53to me me of course you with a little help from the truck yeah i want him maimed terry i

47:01want

47:01him dismembered right now leave it out but this is a cool innit genuine accident kid runs out into

47:07the road like to swear violently to avoid killing him nothing else ought to do haven't we got a genuine

47:11witness right love yeah could have killed him couldn't he it's a miracle he managed to avoid it

47:16oh well there you go i mean what insurance company's going to argue with that hey my policy won't cover

47:20all this no but the one i took out on the truck for the day will and it didn't hardly

47:25cost me anything

47:26well that's about right innit what classic daily enterprises economics how to lose five grand

47:33but gain two in one 24-hour business blitz yeah he might be in the gutter but he's looking at

47:40the

47:40drains shouldn't that be the stars

47:43you

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