- 2 months ago
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00:00:00Daddy, daddy, daddy! They banned the Hub in Florida!
00:00:03They banned the Hub?
00:00:04Yes, no more splooja-palooja!
00:00:06Marvin, Marvin, Marvin!
00:00:06Hold on! Jeff, he's talking about something very important!
00:00:08What do you mean they banned the Hub?
00:00:10There is no more Hub in the entire state of Florida!
00:00:13How could they do that?
00:00:14Marvin!
00:00:15What?
00:00:15Our bills are past due!
00:00:17They're always past due!
00:00:18But Marvin, it's January and our property taxes are due!
00:00:21We owe a lot!
00:00:22And what do you want me to do about it?
00:00:23Get a job?
00:00:24He said it.
00:00:25Listen, there's no job that'll pay all that money.
00:00:27We might as well just give up and just lay down.
00:00:29They banned the Hub.
00:00:30Well, that's your spirit, daddy!
00:00:32That must be the pizza I ordered.
00:00:33Marvin, you ordered pizza? How are you gonna pay for it?
00:00:36You don't think I have a way to get a pizza for free?
00:00:39Jeffy, get the cockroach.
00:00:40Right here, daddy.
00:00:41So we put the cockroach on the pizza and we get it for free!
00:00:43Hello, yummy!
00:00:46Marvin, were you holding a cockroach and saying yummy?
00:00:49Uh, yeah.
00:00:50Was that your dinner?
00:00:51No, I thought it was pizza!
00:00:52You thought the cockroach was pizza?
00:00:54No, I thought the pizza man was at the door and I was coming to get my pizza!
00:00:57And you were gonna pay for it with a cockroach?
00:00:59What pizza place accepts cockroaches as payment?
00:01:01No, I was gonna try to get the pizza!
00:01:02What are you doing here?
00:01:03Well, I came by to say Happy New Year!
00:01:05Happy New Year.
00:01:06Do you have your house payment?
00:01:07If I don't have it, are you gonna hit me with that bat?
00:01:09Of course not, Marvin!
00:01:10Can't a man just carry a baseball bat for his own protection?
00:01:13I guess so.
00:01:14But do you have your house payment?
00:01:16No.
00:01:16Oh!
00:01:17Well, do you mind holding this baseball?
00:01:18I want you to pitch it to me so I can hit it.
00:01:20You want me to pitch you this baseball?
00:01:21Yeah!
00:01:21Go ahead, take it.
00:01:22Alright, you got it?
00:01:23Alright, and go!
00:01:25Ow!
00:01:25Oh my god!
00:01:26Darn it, I missed!
00:01:27Strike one!
00:01:28What the?
00:01:29Okay, listen, I don't have my house payment but I promise I'll have it soon!
00:01:31Marvin, if you don't have your house payment by tomorrow, I'm gonna play whack-a-mole with
00:01:36your head and this baseball bat.
00:01:38What I'm gonna do is, I'm gonna get a big board and I'm gonna drill holes in it.
00:01:41And you're gonna pop your head out of each one of those holes and I'm gonna beat the
00:01:44fuck out of you.
00:01:45And if you think that you're just not gonna pop your head out of the holes, I'm gonna turn
00:01:49my baseball bat around like this and start stabbing at you through the holes.
00:01:52Alright?
00:01:53Okay, fine!
00:01:54Okay, fine!
00:01:54I'll have the house payment by tomorrow.
00:01:56Alright, by tomorrow or boop?
00:02:00Boop?
00:02:01Boop?
00:02:02Stop booping me!
00:02:02Stop yelling at me while I'm booping you!
00:02:04Boop?
00:02:05See you tomorrow, Marvin!
00:02:07Oh my god.
00:02:08How am I gonna get my house payment by tomorrow?
00:02:10I'm so screwed.
00:02:12What do you want, Goodman?
00:02:14Goodman, I told you, I'll get your house payment by tomorrow.
00:02:16Herosa, you seem to be struggling, riving a rife with no hope of a future.
00:02:20I mean, I owe a lot of people money.
00:02:22Have you ever played Paper Square game?
00:02:25No.
00:02:26Would you like to play with me?
00:02:27Listen, I don't have time to play games, I have time to have a lot of money by tomorrow.
00:02:30Well, you could make a lot of money!
00:02:32Playing that game?
00:02:33Yeah!
00:02:34Okay, fine, I'll play.
00:02:35Alright, let me show you how to play.
00:02:36Ah!
00:02:37Cockroach!
00:02:37Die, die, die, die!
00:02:38It's already dead!
00:02:39Okay, so this is how you play Paper Square game.
00:02:41So you put one paper square on the ground, and then you take this paper square, and you
00:02:45throw it as hard as you can, like that, and you try to make the blue square flip over.
00:02:49For every time you flip over the blue square, I pay you $10,000!
00:02:54$10,000?
00:02:55$10,000!
00:03:01Cause I have $10,000 right here!
00:03:06Okay, I wanna play, I wanna play!
00:03:07Okay, now throw it as hard as you can!
00:03:10Okay, all I have to do is make the blue square flip over.
00:03:11That's right!
00:03:12And I get $10,000!
00:03:13That's right!
00:03:13Okay!
00:03:15Ow!
00:03:16Would you like to keep playing?
00:03:17Of course I wanna keep playing!
00:03:18Alright!
00:03:19Alright, here we go!
00:03:21Ow!
00:03:21Still wanna keep playing?
00:03:23I wanna keep playing!
00:03:24Okay!
00:03:24Alright, I got it this time!
00:03:27Bitch!
00:03:27Ow!
00:03:29Still wanna keep playing?
00:03:30Yeah, give it to me!
00:03:31I'm gonna make it happen!
00:03:48Okay!
00:03:49I got it this time!
00:03:52I did it!
00:03:53I did it!
00:03:54I did it!
00:03:54Congratulations!
00:03:55Here's your $10,000!
00:03:57I love it so much!
00:03:59And if you wanna play more games, here's a card!
00:04:02Just call the number on the back!
00:04:03More games?
00:04:04Yes!
00:04:05Oh!
00:04:06Okay!
00:04:06I think the $10,000 is enough, but thank you so much, sir!
00:04:09Marvin, where's the pizza?
00:04:11We don't need pizza!
00:04:12$10,000, bitch!
00:04:13What?
00:04:13Where did that come from?
00:04:14Did you suck a peepee for that?
00:04:16No, I not suck a peepee for that!
00:04:17Marvin, wait!
00:04:18Why is your face all bruised?
00:04:19It must have been a big peepee just slapping him in the face like,
00:04:22Uh!
00:04:22Uh!
00:04:23Oh!
00:04:24BBC!
00:04:25No, it was not a peepee!
00:04:26There was no peepee on my face!
00:04:27Listen, there was a guy at the door, he said if I played games with him, he'd give me money!
00:04:30You definitely suck the peepee!
00:04:32I don't suck a peepee, Jimmy!
00:04:33I don't suck peepees!
00:04:34Well, Marvin, $10,000 will pay a little over half our bills!
00:04:37What?
00:04:38They won't pay all our bills?
00:04:39No!
00:04:40Well, he did give me this card I could call to play more games for money!
00:04:43Danny!
00:04:43I'm no retard, but I don't think you can call circle, square, and triangle on a phone!
00:04:49No!
00:04:50The number is on the back of the card, Jeffy!
00:04:52Well, that's not even enough numbers!
00:04:54You're still missing two numbers!
00:04:55Okay, I'm gonna call this number, he told me to call this number, he gave me the card!
00:04:58Okay, the phone is ringing!
00:05:00Hello?
00:05:00Who's calling?
00:05:01Um, this is the guy's house you just left, you gave me your business card, you slapped
00:05:04me a bunch of times!
00:05:05Would you like to participate in the game?
00:05:07If you would like to participate, state your name!
00:05:10My name's Marvin, you literally just left my house, you slapped me like a lot of times,
00:05:13I won $10,000 and you left, I need to win some more money, so if you could bring the
00:05:17cardboard squares, I think I could do it again!
00:05:19You'll be playing other games for money!
00:05:21Okay, I mean whatever, as long as I get $10,000 every time I win, I wanna do it!
00:05:25Mervyn, I wanna play too, that way it doubles our chances of winning money!
00:05:28Uh, my wife would also like to play!
00:05:30Oh, I wanna play too!
00:05:31And my son Jeffy, he's 20 years old!
00:05:33Bring them to the front door, we're here!
00:05:34Oh, you're here, okay!
00:05:36Alright guys, they're at the door, so it's really easy, there's this cardboard square,
00:05:39and you hit another cardboard square and flip it over, and every time you win, you get
00:05:41$10,000, so come on guys, we can win this, okay?
00:05:44Guys, trust me, this game is super easy!
00:05:47Okay, so last time there was an Asian guy!
00:05:50Don't change, Marvin!
00:05:52Can I lick it?
00:05:57Officer Guy, get in here!
00:05:59Yes, sir?
00:06:00There's an Asian man that's been going around giving poor people money!
00:06:03Uh, okay sir, that doesn't sound like a bad thing.
00:06:06No, no, no, you don't understand!
00:06:07After he gives them money, he sends them to a private island, where they play kids games,
00:06:11and if they win, they get $400 billion dollars!
00:06:14Wait, wait, so he gives them money, and he sends them to an island, and they get to play games,
00:06:18and they get $400 billion dollars?
00:06:20That sounds awesome!
00:06:22No, no, no, if they lose, they get horribly murdered!
00:06:24Oh, okay, there's the catch.
00:06:26Yeah, so what he likes to do is go up to people and make them throw a piece of cardboard
00:06:30and another piece of cardboard, and then he gives them $10,000.
00:06:34Wait, so he just gives them $10,000 for that?
00:06:37Yep, every time they do it!
00:06:38Every single time?
00:06:39I gotta find this guy!
00:06:41You know, to, um, to arrest him.
00:06:43Is this what he looks like?
00:06:44I don't know, I've never actually seen him.
00:06:46This is just what I imagined based on people's descriptions.
00:06:49Uh, yeah, okay, yeah, I'll be on the lookout for this guy.
00:06:52Okay, I'll find him, sir!
00:06:53You do that!
00:06:56Hello, sir, you seem to be a useless piece of shit to society.
00:07:00Mm-hmm.
00:07:01Would you like to play a game for money?
00:07:03Hey, hey, hey, I don't want to interrupt, but you are the guy who pays people to throw paper, right?
00:07:07I'm busy right now!
00:07:08Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
00:07:09Listen, I just, I have a lot of bills, and I would really like to play the paper game.
00:07:13I'm in the middle of doing something, go away!
00:07:15Oh, come on, look, he's homeless, he's drunk, he's not even gonna be good at the game!
00:07:18Let me do it, give me the money!
00:07:20I said go away!
00:07:21Look, I will arrest him for public intoxication if you don't let me play.
00:07:24I mean, I'll even go to the island, I don't care, 400 billion dollars is crazy.
00:07:27GO AWAY!
00:07:28Listen, man, I really-
00:07:32Karen, what the hell happened?
00:07:34Boynie, this weird Asian guy came over and tied his up!
00:07:37Yes, that means we get to play games!
00:07:38Oh, I love games!
00:07:40Listen, Karen, if we win, we can get 10,000 dollars, and if we're lucky, we can go to an
00:07:43island and win 400 billion dollars!
00:07:46Oh, wow.
00:07:47Hello there, would you like to play a game?
00:07:49Yes, it says we would love to play a game. I really want to play the cardboard game.
00:07:52Have you ever heard of a game called Russian Roulette?
00:07:55Ooh, it's not one of my favorite games.
00:07:58Isn't that the game they play in the casinos?
00:08:00No, Karen, that's regular roulette.
00:08:02Well, what's the difference?
00:08:03Well, in Russian Roulette, you die.
00:08:04No, die is what you throw during the numbers game.
00:08:07No, Karen, that's dice. In Russian Roulette, you can lose your life.
00:08:10Oh, like Pac-Man?
00:08:11No, Karen, not like Pac-Man, you can get shot in the fucking head!
00:08:14Let me explain the rules. So there are five chambers, and I put one bullet in one of the chambers,
00:08:19and I give it a spin, and then I put it to my head.
00:08:23Oh, fuck!
00:08:25Uh, you know, I think we should play a different game.
00:08:28You two play rock, paper, scissors.
00:08:29Yeah, see, there you go, that's more like it.
00:08:31Alright, Karen, rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
00:08:34Paper covers rock, I win!
00:08:36And now she has to play Russian Roulette.
00:08:38But we were playing rock, paper, scissors.
00:08:40Oh, that was easy.
00:08:42No, I don't want to play this anymore. I think we can stop now, right?
00:08:45Play again!
00:08:46No, I'm telling you, I don't want to play anymore.
00:08:48Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
00:08:50No, I'm telling you, we don't...
00:08:51You lose. You didn't take your turn.
00:08:53No, no, no, no, we don't have to...
00:08:54Okay, okay, okay, so we're tied now, right?
00:08:57Play again!
00:08:59Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
00:09:00Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
00:09:01Paper covers rock again, I win!
00:09:02Bonnie, you know I always pick rock.
00:09:04I know.
00:09:05Oh, well, you know, I'm not as sad as I thought I'd be.
00:09:09Can I go to the island now?
00:09:10Sure.
00:09:11Okay, but we're doing...
00:09:17Wait, wait a minute, what's going on?
00:09:20Fuck!
00:09:20Mom?
00:09:21Oh, hey, Brookie, what are you doing here?
00:09:22How the hell did we get here?
00:09:24Yeah, I thought I was winning some money, what happened to this?
00:09:26Rose, where are you?
00:09:27I'm over here!
00:09:28Okay, good.
00:09:29Tyrone, where are you?
00:09:30I'm right over here, baby.
00:09:31Okay, so where are we?
00:09:33I think this is the island with the 400 billion dollars.
00:09:35What, 400 billion dollars?
00:09:36Marvin, what the hell happened to your face?
00:09:38Oh, I was playing some cardboard game and I kept losing.
00:09:40Oh, I got it on the first try.
00:09:42I didn't even get to play, he just shot my wife.
00:09:44Oh good, I hated that bitch anyway!
00:09:46Hey, we can finally agree on something.
00:09:47Wait, so who's that Asian girl and there's two guards next to her?
00:09:50I don't know.
00:09:51Hey, what's going on?
00:09:52What game is this?
00:09:53You will be playing Red Light, Green Light.
00:09:57You are allowed to move forward when it shouts out Green Light.
00:10:01Stop when it shouts Red Light.
00:10:03If your movement is detected afterward, you will be eliminated.
00:10:07Pfft, 400 billion dollars to play Red Light, Green Light?
00:10:10You guys are going down, this shit is so easy.
00:10:12Oh, this is going to be the easiest 400 billion dollars I ever made!
00:10:15Oh, and I won't ever have to work for Braxton again!
00:10:17Yes!
00:10:18Wait, we really get 400 billion dollars if we win Red Light, Green Light?
00:10:21Yeah, Marvin.
00:10:21Wait a minute!
00:10:23I've played these games before!
00:10:25Yeah, everybody's played these games.
00:10:27Yeah, Jeffy, everyone's played Red Light, Green Light.
00:10:28Has everyone ever played Red Light, Green Light?
00:10:30Yeah!
00:10:31Yeah, see, everyone's played it.
00:10:32So we're ready to start!
00:10:33Green light!
00:10:34Last one, there's a rotten egg!
00:10:35First one's gotta eat it!
00:10:36I need that fucking money!
00:10:37No, that's my 400 bill!
00:10:39No, that's my money!
00:10:40Um, Danny, do we go.
00:10:41Yeah, it's Green Light, let's go!
00:10:43AHHHH!
00:10:44Red Light!
00:10:44No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
00:10:46Psst, your pants fell down.
00:10:48Oh, would you look at that?
00:10:51Wieners out!
00:10:53Oh, shit!
00:10:54They're just Black Lives Matter my nigger!
00:10:56Did my husband just get shot?
00:10:58Was he black?
00:10:59Yeah.
00:11:00Yes.
00:11:00I'm a widow.
00:11:01Jeffy, these two guys just got shot!
00:11:03I know, I've played this game before, if you move you die!
00:11:07What? You tell us?
00:11:07No one wanted to listen to what the fuck I had to say!
00:11:10Green Light!
00:11:18Oh man, I can see the finish line right there. I can almost taste the 400 billion.
00:11:23Jeffy, why did you freeze looking back?
00:11:26Cause I wanted to look at the dead body like Logan Paul.
00:11:29Old dead body dick. Doesn't move and shit.
00:11:32Jeffy, stop talking. They're gonna shoot you.
00:11:33They can't see my mouth moving.
00:11:37Jeffy, you're gonna get shot.
00:11:39Stop it.
00:11:42Please Jeffy. Don't do this.
00:11:45Dead body. Jeffy, slow. Dead body dick.
00:11:47Please. I beg you.
00:11:49Don't do this.
00:11:50Green Rack.
00:11:53Oh my god, we made it.
00:11:55Oh no, Marvin and Jeffy.
00:11:56Oh, they're almost out of time. Come on Marvin, you can do it.
00:12:00Green Rack.
00:12:02Oh my god, Jeffy, the finish line's right there.
00:12:05Green Rack.
00:12:07Marvin, I'm so glad you and Jeffy made it.
00:12:10Oh my god, me too.
00:12:11So now I guess we all get our 400 billion now, right?
00:12:14What room is this?
00:12:16I think these are our beds.
00:12:17We get beds. I love this place.
00:12:19You sound like Slinky Dog from Toy Story.
00:12:22Marvin, I don't wanna be here anymore.
00:12:24I don't wanna be here either. Dying over money's not worth it.
00:12:26What are you talking about? I need money.
00:12:28Yeah, I need that 400 billion. Look, I slave in the kitchen everyday. You don't know how that feels, Marvin.
00:12:32I need money for blow.
00:12:33Yeah, I also have a lot of debt.
00:12:35Who do we speak to to get out of here?
00:12:36Hello.
00:12:37Oh, hi there.
00:12:38Welcome to the Squid Games.
00:12:39Why is it called that?
00:12:40Well, if you made it to the last round, you'll know.
00:12:42Oh, okay. So do we get our 400 billion now or what?
00:12:44I will now announce the winnings of the first games. Look up.
00:12:48Made you look.
00:12:50Ah, you got us.
00:12:52Alright, now for real though, look over there.
00:12:54I don't see anything.
00:12:55Got your bitch ass again.
00:12:57Get her.
00:12:58Okay, okay, okay.
00:12:59Now for real though, it's on yo shirt.
00:13:01What, my shirt?
00:13:01Boop.
00:13:02Ah!
00:13:03How'd you fall for that?
00:13:04These guys aren't so bad.
00:13:06Seriously though, piggy bank as fuck. Look up.
00:13:21The total winnings from the first game are uh, they're uh, I can't see this fucking thing.
00:13:26What is it?
00:13:27Oh, it says 7.6 billion.
00:13:297.6 billion.
00:13:30Well, ooh, I want to take that in cash and go home please.
00:13:32That's fine with me. That's a good day's pay right there.
00:13:34I could buy a lot of blow with that.
00:13:36Yep, we'd all like to leave and take the money.
00:13:38If you leave now, the total winnings will be divided to the eliminated players' families.
00:13:42Fuck that!
00:13:42Ew!
00:13:43No, I need that money right now!
00:13:44No dead people need some money!
00:13:46Well, I would actually like to take that cause my husband died and I could at least get half that.
00:13:50Alright guys, listen.
00:13:51We're not gonna stay here and get killed over money.
00:13:53I think we should all leave.
00:13:54Would you like to take a vote?
00:13:56Yes, I think we should take a vote.
00:13:57Whoever wants to leave and live, say yippee!
00:14:01Yippee!
00:14:02Yippee!
00:14:02Yippee!
00:14:02Wait, you too?
00:14:03Yeah, I want to go home and tell us fucking this thing.
00:14:05Oh.
00:14:06Well, anybody who doesn't want to leave, say not yippee!
00:14:08Not yippee!
00:14:10Not yippee!
00:14:10Not yippee, not yippee, not yippee.
00:14:11Fuck!
00:14:12Oh, goddammit!
00:14:13Well, what if I refuse to play?
00:14:15Then you will be.
00:14:16Eliminated.
00:14:16But you won't kill me.
00:14:17I just get to leave.
00:14:18I think he's saying he's gonna shoot you, Marvin.
00:14:20Okay, fine.
00:14:20I'll play these stupid dumb games.
00:14:22Dinner will be served shortly.
00:14:23Dinner?
00:14:23And a bed?
00:14:24I never wanna leave.
00:14:26I can't believe you guys voted to stay.
00:14:27We're all gonna die!
00:14:28Dinner time!
00:14:29Eggman!
00:14:30Jim Carrey?
00:14:30Wait, eggs?
00:14:31That's what we get for dinner?
00:14:32Yes, hard-boiled.
00:14:33So you have a budget of $400 billion and the best you can do is an egg?
00:14:36Look, man, I just do what I'm told.
00:14:37Shit, give me one of those hoes!
00:14:39I'm starving!
00:14:39Yeah, I want an egg!
00:14:40No, no, no, hold on, guys.
00:14:41I can't survive the whole night on just an egg.
00:14:43How about I eat as many as I can until I'm full and you guys can have the rest?
00:14:46Over my dead fucking body!
00:14:48You just heard me say I was starving!
00:14:50Brookie, you're being selfish!
00:14:51Give me an egg!
00:14:52Yeah, give us an egg!
00:14:52Oh, yeah?
00:14:53What are you guys gonna do?
00:14:53Stick your hands up my ass?
00:14:55I dare you, pussy!
00:14:56We want an egg!
00:14:57We want an egg!
00:14:57Guys!
00:14:59Please!
00:15:00Stop fighting!
00:15:02You're scotting me!
00:15:03Who the fuck is this?
00:15:05I'm a paraya number one.
00:15:07I've been here the whole time.
00:15:08No, you haven't.
00:15:09Yes, I have.
00:15:10So you were here during Red Light, Green Light?
00:15:11Yes.
00:15:12How many players were shot in the first round?
00:15:14Oh...
00:15:14I don't know.
00:15:15Old man, I can't remember.
00:15:17Can we just agree we've never seen this guy before?
00:15:20Yeah, we've never seen you before.
00:15:21We don't even know who you are.
00:15:21Shut up!
00:15:22Look, when is the next game?
00:15:24We want to play.
00:15:25Tomorrow.
00:15:25I mean, uh...
00:15:27I don't know, silly old man.
00:15:29The next games are tomorrow.
00:15:31What?
00:15:31We don't want to wait until tomorrow and just sit here.
00:15:33We want to hurry up and just get out of here.
00:15:34So can we play the next game now?
00:15:36You guys would like to play the next game now?
00:15:37Yeah, yeah, I mean...
00:15:38You're done.
00:15:39But what about the eggs?
00:15:41I'll take those.
00:15:41No, no.
00:15:42We won't eat them later.
00:15:44Let's go play the games now.
00:15:45But I worked so hard on them!
00:15:47I don't care!
00:15:47Let's go play the next game!
00:15:48You worked really hard on them.
00:15:49I think I should get to eat them.
00:15:50No!
00:15:51We want to play the next game now.
00:15:52Okay, follow me.
00:15:54Everybody form a single file line.
00:15:56What is this, Kindergarten, Marvin?
00:15:57It's just like Kindergarten except you die.
00:15:59Stop it!
00:16:00So what do you think this game has, Marvin?
00:16:01I see cookies!
00:16:02I bet you have to eat the cookies as fast as you can,
00:16:04and you can't leave any crumbs,
00:16:05so you gotta pick them out of your teeth with a toothpick.
00:16:06You think so?
00:16:07Yeah.
00:16:07Then what are the shapes about?
00:16:09Oh, I don't know.
00:16:09Hey, does anybody know what this game's about?
00:16:12I chose Triangle because it looks like the tip of my peepee!
00:16:16What you're supposed to do is,
00:16:18is cut the shape out of the cookie without breaking the shape.
00:16:21If you break the shape, you'll get a rim in it.
00:16:24I've played these games before!
00:16:26You definitely don't want Triangle!
00:16:29It's super hard, so everyone should totally pick Leaf!
00:16:32Oh, pick the Leaf, Marvin!
00:16:33But there's not that many Leafs!
00:16:34So that means we're definitely gonna win!
00:16:36Okay.
00:16:36Once you pick your cookie,
00:16:38go find a place to sit down by yourself.
00:16:41Wow, this really is like kindergarten.
00:16:42Well, luckily, I like to eat my cookies in peace.
00:16:44Okay, I'm going to pick...
00:16:47I don't trust Jeffy.
00:16:48I'm gonna pick Triangle.
00:16:49Full!
00:16:49Oh, he must be upset that he knows his dad's gonna die.
00:16:51Well, I'm definitely picking Leaf now.
00:16:53Okay, time me.
00:16:55What the fuck are you doing?!
00:16:57I thought I was supposed to eat the cookie as fast as I could.
00:17:00You idiot!
00:17:00Okay, well, you can't shoot me because you didn't tell me the rules!
00:17:02Fine!
00:17:03Here, take this one!
00:17:05Okay, okay, fine.
00:17:06And don't eat it!
00:17:06I won't eat it, jeez!
00:17:07Alright, next!
00:17:09One Triangle, please!
00:17:11So, Marvin, what do you think you do with a cookie and a toothpick other than eat it?
00:17:14Do you think they're gonna let the Cookie Monster into the room,
00:17:16and we have to protect the cookie with the toothpick?
00:17:18Wrong.
00:17:19But, Jeffy, why'd you pick a triangle?
00:17:21You said to pick Leaf!
00:17:22Well, I just have a big heart and I was trying to help!
00:17:24I will now explain the rules of the game. The game is called Cookie Time.
00:17:28Cookie Time!
00:17:28Yes, in front of you, you have a cookie and a shape that you chose.
00:17:32You're gonna take the toothpick and break out the shape without breaking the shape.
00:17:35Wait, so I'm supposed to break the shape, but I'm not supposed to break the shape?
00:17:39Yes, you're supposed to break the shape, but not the cookie.
00:17:41But the whole thing's a fucking cookie.
00:17:43Yeah.
00:17:43What's the cookie made out of?
00:17:44Does it fucking matter?!
00:17:46Yeah, I'm gluten-free!
00:17:47Well, I didn't make the cookies! Circle Man made the cookies! I'm Square Man!
00:17:50Well, my cookies are down in circles. Do I even have to do this shit?
00:17:53Yes, you have to break the circle out of the circle.
00:17:55That's so fucking confusing.
00:17:57I know!
00:17:58I want my egg!
00:17:59Fuck your egg! I didn't bring the egg! You'll get an egg after you win!
00:18:02Okay, can Circle Man explain the rules? I think he'd do a better job.
00:18:05Circle Man's making more cookies for the next group!
00:18:07Next group? How much money do you guys have?
00:18:09I'm starting the fucking timer!
00:18:12I don't get it, so we're supposed to chisel the shape out of the cookie?
00:18:15I don't know, man. He sucks at explaining instructions.
00:18:17They should've just gotten Circle Man or a PowerPoint presentation or something.
00:18:20Like, I don't know what their hiring process is, but basic vocabulary should be the minimum.
00:18:25But, Chip, you're not supposed to eat it!
00:18:26I'm not eating it, Danny! I'm licking it like a girl's dirty pooper!
00:18:30Well, if you die, you die.
00:18:32Marvin, this is fun! It's like tracing!
00:18:35Excuse me, I broke mine. Can I get another one?
00:18:38Holy fuck!
00:18:39Okay, I think I understand the rules now. You have to break the shape out of the cookie without breaking
00:18:43the shape.
00:18:44Well, why didn't you just explain it? That's so awesome!
00:18:46Yeah, see, see how easy that was? You know what? I want to apply for the position of Square Man.
00:18:50Hey, Square Man! How much do you make?
00:18:52Minimum wage.
00:18:53Oh, okay, never mind. I'd rather just do those.
00:18:55Yeah.
00:18:57Fuck yeah.
00:18:59Stupid-ass Circle.
00:19:00I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! This is too hard!
00:19:03Yeah, you're shit out of luck, dude. See, I have a Circle, and I am a chef!
00:19:06I know this is just sugar, so if I press really hard on the middle, the shape should fall out
00:19:11easily!
00:19:12Hehehe!
00:19:13Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
00:19:14Fuck fuck fuck.
00:19:15Uh, yeah, see my circle is simple. You wanna trade? I already know how to do this.
00:19:19Sure!
00:19:21Let me have this.
00:19:23Ah, he broke his shit! He broke his shape!
00:19:25Shut up!
00:19:27Oh my god, I can't do this. I gotta win this money!
00:19:31Psst! Hey! Psst!
00:19:33What do you want, boss?
00:19:34I want you to do my cookie for me.
00:19:36But you wanna play the game so bad, you do it.
00:19:38Yeah, but this game is boring. Do it for me.
00:19:41Oh, fine. Give me a seat.
00:19:43Hurry, so no one sees.
00:19:44All right.
00:19:46Oh, fuck!
00:19:47Why? You idiot!
00:19:49It doesn't matter. It's fine. You won anyways.
00:19:52Oh, yeah.
00:19:52I won everybody!
00:19:54I won first!
00:19:56So I'm going to go eat my boiled egg.
00:19:59I did it.
00:20:00I ate all the cookie around the store.
00:20:02Twingo, twingo.
00:20:04Stinky homeless man passed.
00:20:05Yay, egg time.
00:20:07Oh, I did it! I really fucking did it!
00:20:10Let me see, let me see.
00:20:11Oh, shit, you did it!
00:20:12Yup, no mistakes, baby. Did that shit, yeah.
00:20:15Give me a harder shake next time. That's a pussy-ass shape.
00:20:17Wait, didn't you choose circle?
00:20:18No! Why would I choose circle that pussy-ass, weak-ass, fuck-ass shape?
00:20:22Come on, now!
00:20:23Hey, hey, box face! I did it!
00:20:26You gonna congratulate me or something?
00:20:28Congratulations.
00:20:29You wanna know how I did it?
00:20:30How?
00:20:30I stuck it up my hoo-ha,
00:20:32and the yeast infection dissolved the cookie around the shape.
00:20:35Wait, it's not the first time I've baked cookies with a yeast infection.
00:20:38Okay.
00:20:39I'm done!
00:20:40Come wipe me!
00:20:41What?
00:20:42I'm done.
00:20:43Which one's a triangle?
00:20:44Right there, targ.
00:20:45Okay, passed.
00:20:46I'm done, too.
00:20:47Ugh.
00:20:48Passed.
00:20:49Can I help you?
00:20:50Go away, I'm not ready.
00:20:51I'm done.
00:20:52Passed.
00:20:53Let me see your progress.
00:20:54You're the last one.
00:20:55Okay, well, I'm doing a really good job,
00:20:56but if you look at it, I'm gonna get nervous and fuck it up, so go away.
00:20:59Marvin, I fucking broke it.
00:21:00What? You broke it? How'd you break it?
00:21:01Well, it's a leaf. I can't chisel that shit out.
00:21:03Well, what are you gonna do?
00:21:04Well, give me yours. You already passed.
00:21:06He knows you were a leaf.
00:21:07Yeah, you're right.
00:21:08I'm...
00:21:08What are you doing? You can't eat it.
00:21:11I'm done.
00:21:12Wait, where's it at?
00:21:13I ate it.
00:21:14Wait, you ate it?
00:21:15Yeah, because I finished it, right, guys?
00:21:16All my friends saw it, right, Marvin?
00:21:18Right, Marvin?
00:21:18Uh, yeah, I finished.
00:21:19He did it.
00:21:20He tried to get your attention.
00:21:21You just weren't paying attention.
00:21:22You wouldn't lie to me, would you?
00:21:23I'm not lying.
00:21:24He did it. Right, Jeffy?
00:21:25Yeah!
00:21:26Right, Rose?
00:21:27I didn't see.
00:21:28Oh, you bitch.
00:21:29Well, if you guys lie to me, you won't get an egg.
00:21:31Well, I do really kind of want an egg.
00:21:34You'll die if you're telling the truth.
00:21:35Yeah, you're right.
00:21:36Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're telling the truth.
00:21:37Okay.
00:21:38Yeah, we all passed.
00:21:40Passed.
00:21:40Oh, thank God. Oh, that was close.
00:21:42God, I really did want that egg.
00:21:43Congratulations on passing the second game.
00:21:45Well, that wasn't really a game.
00:21:46That was just food.
00:21:47And I think we should get two eggs for doing that so good.
00:21:49I will now announce the earnings after the second game.
00:21:52There's no point in announcing the earnings.
00:21:53It's not like if we quit, we could take the money.
00:21:55It goes to the dead families.
00:21:55Yeah, fuck that damn family shit.
00:21:57Yeah.
00:21:57And also, where's that old man at?
00:21:59I'm already here.
00:22:01I was so scared.
00:22:03Something weird about him.
00:22:05Yeah.
00:22:05So can we go ahead and play the third game?
00:22:06Nope.
00:22:07Sleep tonight, play tomorrow.
00:22:08Well, I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep.
00:22:10I've seen like five people get shot in the head today.
00:22:12Yeah, I know how to pull the trigger.
00:22:13It's pretty fucked up.
00:22:14Well, can we at least get our eggs?
00:22:15Yeah, I want eggs.
00:22:16Yeah, I'm starving.
00:22:16I took out that earlier.
00:22:17Eggs!
00:22:18Eggs!
00:22:19Eggs!
00:22:19Eggs!
00:22:20Eggs!
00:22:22Egg time!
00:22:24Yay!
00:22:25Square Man, you have failed me.
00:22:27How did I fail you, sir?
00:22:28He did not pass the last game because he ate his cookie.
00:22:32You lied to me.
00:22:33Listen, man, I just didn't want to get shot.
00:22:35I thought we were friends.
00:22:37No!
00:22:39My eggs!
00:22:40There will be no more cheating.
00:22:43Is that understood?
00:22:44Uh, yes, sir.
00:22:45Ma'am, I really can't tell with the mask on.
00:22:47Does everyone understand that there will be no more cheating?
00:22:50Yeah, yeah, no cheating.
00:22:52Good.
00:22:54Okay, so, um, since Square Man is dead, can we have Circle Man now?
00:22:58Triangle Man, get in here.
00:23:00Now, who is Triangle Man?
00:23:01Up here, Colt!
00:23:02Here, son, take this.
00:23:03Okay, what do I do with this?
00:23:05You shoot them if they don't play the game, if they lose the game, or if they cheat.
00:23:08Okay.
00:23:09Now, come on, what's wrong with this one?
00:23:11The last one couldn't even form a sentence.
00:23:13He was dropped on his head as a kid, so he's kind of like half-deafed.
00:23:16So be nice.
00:23:17Ah, Jesus.
00:23:18So I wonder what the next game's gonna be.
00:23:20Okay, everybody listen up!
00:23:22I'm white-heeled!
00:23:23Yeah, we know.
00:23:24You haven't moved.
00:23:25It's cheapy time!
00:23:26Everybody pick a bit and go cheapy!
00:23:28We don't want to go to sleep yet!
00:23:29We want to play another game and get this over with!
00:23:31Yeah, one more game!
00:23:32One more game!
00:23:34One more game!
00:23:35One more game!
00:23:36Okay, cheapy time later!
00:23:38We play a game now!
00:23:39Pick a partner!
00:23:40Ooh, I'm with Marvin!
00:23:41I'm with the blood, bitch!
00:23:42Wait, Marvin!
00:23:43We should be partners!
00:23:44Yeah, I want to be partners with Rose!
00:23:45No, it's okay, Marvin.
00:23:46Me and Jeffy have plot armor.
00:23:48What?
00:23:48Plot armor?
00:23:48Yeah, we can't die this early in the series.
00:23:50I mean, honestly, you're lucky this video isn't called Jeffy's Squid Game.
00:23:53Ooh, I want Jeffy!
00:23:54Ha ha!
00:23:54Beat ya!
00:23:55Got ya ass, bitch!
00:23:56Hell, I kiss ya, old picker!
00:23:59Who's left?
00:23:59Yo!
00:24:00Oh, shit.
00:24:01Follow me to the next game!
00:24:03I'm white here!
00:24:04Yeah, I don't think...
00:24:06I will now explain the next game!
00:24:08The next game is tug of war!
00:24:10You grab the rope and you pull really hard!
00:24:13And if you lude, you fall into the bucket of acid and you die forever!
00:24:18I will now pick the third two teams to play tug of war!
00:24:22Okay!
00:24:24Uh, the girls with the boobies versus the bald guy with the red dirt and pumpkin guy!
00:24:33Pumpkin guy?
00:24:34I thought we were done with that shit.
00:24:35One comment and now everybody won't stop saying it.
00:24:37Ugh!
00:24:38Marvin!
00:24:38This is the best day of my life!
00:24:40I get to kill my mom and I get to make billions of dollars!
00:24:42I don't want to kill my wife!
00:24:43Oh, come on, Marvin!
00:24:45Everybody dreams of killing their wife!
00:24:46You know, you get married.
00:24:47After a few years, you hate each other.
00:24:49Then you meet another woman, but you don't tell her that you're married.
00:24:51So then you have to kill your wife, you know?
00:24:53You know, put some antifreeze in her coffee, cut her brakes, throw her off a cruise ship.
00:24:56The American Dream, Marvin!
00:24:57I don't want to do this!
00:24:59Marvin, I don't want to do this!
00:25:00I don't want to kill you!
00:25:02Look at her saying, I don't want to kill you, like she even has a chance.
00:25:05We're men, Marvin.
00:25:06They're women.
00:25:06And one of them is elderly.
00:25:07Brookie, you're a bitch!
00:25:09And I'm gonna do what that abortion when I was 15 should have done!
00:25:12Oh, yeah?
00:25:13Well...
00:25:14See, Marvin, this is why she needs to die!
00:25:17Listen, I'm not gonna pull because I'm not gonna try to kill my wife.
00:25:20Okay, well, I'm sure as hell gonna pull.
00:25:21I'm not gonna pull either!
00:25:23Well, why don't you pull that tampon out of your gooch?
00:25:25You're good at pulling that?
00:25:26I guess it's just gonna be me versus my bitch-ass son who couldn't even figure out jump rope
00:25:30when he was in elementary school.
00:25:32I just cannot fucking figure jump rope out.
00:25:34It just kept hitting my legs.
00:25:35And now I don't even have legs, so I can't even jump.
00:25:37But, nuh-uh!
00:25:38Okay!
00:25:39Ready!
00:25:40Dead!
00:25:42Potowall!
00:25:43Come on, Marvin!
00:25:44Pull!
00:25:44I know she's your wife, but she's like a solid seven!
00:25:46You could do better!
00:25:47You think I'm a seven?
00:25:48Shut up, bitchin' pull!
00:25:49You really wanna die off of some bald-headed fuckhead who sits on the couch and watches TV all day?
00:25:53But he's my husband!
00:25:55I don't give a shit!
00:25:55For 400 billion dollars, you could be on a yacht in Costa Rica getting jello licked off your nipples!
00:26:00Ooh!
00:26:01Baby!
00:26:02See, Marvin?
00:26:03Never trust a bitch!
00:26:04This is why Lil Wayne said he's done everything but trust these hoes!
00:26:06Everything, Marvin!
00:26:07That means he's gone skydiving!
00:26:09He's thrown a kitten in a volcano!
00:26:10But he's never trusted hoes, Marvin!
00:26:12There's gotta be a reason for that!
00:26:13These hoes ain't loyal, so help me!
00:26:15Honestly, Marvin?
00:26:16I mean, to be real with you, I know you're not even trying and they're both pulling with all their
00:26:20might,
00:26:20but I'm pretty sure I got this.
00:26:22I'm doing it one-handed.
00:26:23One good yank and I could probably kill them both.
00:26:25See, this is why men shouldn't be in women's sports.
00:26:27Ugh!
00:26:28Come on, kids!
00:26:29We're losing!
00:26:29We gotta think of something to distract them!
00:26:31Hurry!
00:26:32Flush the kids!
00:26:33What?
00:26:33I'm not doing that!
00:26:34Okay, fine!
00:26:36Hey, boys!
00:26:37Get a load of this!
00:26:39Saggy tits!
00:26:40Ew, Mom!
00:26:42No, Marvin!
00:26:42Don't motorboat!
00:26:43Get a load of yourself!
00:26:44Marvin, what are you doing?
00:26:46Titties!
00:26:46Guard, I need my partner back.
00:26:48He likes titties too much.
00:26:49Oh, titties!
00:26:50Let me titty!
00:26:52Boobies!
00:26:54Marvin, get back to your side now!
00:26:56Oh, okay!
00:26:56Go!
00:26:57You're an animal, Marvin.
00:26:59Don't watch all the boobies!
00:27:00Boobies aren't even for me!
00:27:01You give me $400 billion, you're gonna have all the boobies you want!
00:27:04Marvin, they're distracted!
00:27:05Quick!
00:27:05Pull as hard as you can!
00:27:09Oh no!
00:27:10My wife!
00:27:11$400 billion!
00:27:12No!
00:27:12My wife!
00:27:13My wife!
00:27:15Stop it!
00:27:16Goose!
00:27:19She's dead!
00:27:20She's actually dead!
00:27:21Aw, that's okay, buddy.
00:27:23Look at the bright side!
00:27:24My mom's dead too, and she was a terrible lady!
00:27:26Aw, but that was my wife!
00:27:28I loved her!
00:27:29Aw, come on, Marvin!
00:27:30You're acting like Tinder doesn't exist!
00:27:31And think about it, you could go to the strip club with $400 billion!
00:27:35Yep!
00:27:36Yep!
00:27:37Red team win!
00:27:38Bull team intimidated!
00:27:40No, eliminated, buddy!
00:27:41Ediminated!
00:27:42No, eliminated!
00:27:44Lemonade?
00:27:44I love pink lemonade!
00:27:46No, okay.
00:27:47That's close enough.
00:27:47Come on, Marvin.
00:27:48Okay!
00:27:48The final two teams of Tug of War will be Boss and the Homeless Guy versus the guy in the
00:27:55yellow shirt and Ratatouille!
00:27:57Ooh!
00:27:57Tug of War!
00:27:58Jeffy, we got this!
00:28:00Alright, Jeffy!
00:28:01Woo-hoo!
00:28:01We got this in our bag, okay?
00:28:03And I know you're pretty strong, right?
00:28:04You got the da-da-da strength!
00:28:06Yeah, I got the strength of seven men.
00:28:08If I had a superhero name, it would be Super Chromie.
00:28:10Woo-hoo!
00:28:11That's pretty hard, I can't even lie.
00:28:12And I'm pretty strong myself.
00:28:13You see these guns?
00:28:14I used to lift weights in high school.
00:28:16I'm gonna do my tis-em-ups.
00:28:18Ooh!
00:28:18Ooh!
00:28:20Yeah, keep doing that!
00:28:21I like that!
00:28:22Ooh!
00:28:23Tastes ropey.
00:28:24Uh, excuse me, Mr. Stinky Man.
00:28:27Mm?
00:28:27Have you ever prayed Tug of War before?
00:28:30I gave a guy a Tuggy and a Subway for some Gatorade.
00:28:34He was pissed.
00:28:34Holy shit, we are so screwed.
00:28:37You pulled the rope!
00:28:39If I pulled the rope, does a pinata come out from my birthday with candy and a three musketeers?
00:28:44You know what?
00:28:45Yes!
00:28:45Yes, sure!
00:28:46Whatever gets you to pull the rope!
00:28:48Candy!
00:28:49How am I going to get out of this?
00:28:52Oh, Jeffy, look at this!
00:28:53We're going to get some 90-year-old man with dementia and a homeless guy!
00:28:57This is like taking candy for my baby!
00:28:59Candy!
00:29:00Or taking candy for my homeless guy.
00:29:02Hey, go ahead and shoot that damn gun!
00:29:03We ready!
00:29:04Oh, poor side fucker!
00:29:06You ain't ready for the smoke, bitch!
00:29:08Me a pussy!
00:29:09Oh, hell no!
00:29:11Listen, I have prayed this game before when I was a young child.
00:29:15And I learned if you take the rope and you ring back with all your weight and the other team
00:29:22boys, they will get tired.
00:29:24And once they get tired, you pull back and you kill them!
00:29:28I was born in a Kmart.
00:29:30Okay!
00:29:31Ready!
00:29:33Dead!
00:29:34Put them up!
00:29:35Ah!
00:29:36Silly!
00:29:37Goofy!
00:29:38Pussy!
00:29:39Fuckin!
00:29:40Cuddly!
00:29:41Boy!
00:29:44Ah!
00:29:46Keep ringing!
00:29:48Don't you stop ringing!
00:29:50Back!
00:29:51I want candy!
00:29:53Ah!
00:29:55Ah!
00:29:56Jeffy!
00:29:56Tap in that extra strength!
00:29:58I'm trying to find that extra chromosome!
00:30:00Ah!
00:30:00I found it!
00:30:01Ooh!
00:30:03Yeah, yeah, yeah!
00:30:03That's it!
00:30:04That's it!
00:30:04Ah!
00:30:05Mountain Dew!
00:30:06No, you idiot!
00:30:08This is not the mountain too!
00:30:10Keep pouring!
00:30:12Ah!
00:30:13Triangle man!
00:30:14Come help me!
00:30:16Okay!
00:30:16I'm here, bot!
00:30:17I'm tired of this game you pull!
00:30:20Okay!
00:30:21Ah!
00:30:22Ah!
00:30:23Ah!
00:30:23Ah!
00:30:24Ah!
00:30:24Ah!
00:30:24Jeffy!
00:30:24What's happening?
00:30:25How'd they come in bad?
00:30:26My targets hinges are tingling!
00:30:28They have one too!
00:30:29What?
00:30:30It's like there's a balance!
00:30:31Well pull harder!
00:30:47UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
00:30:47Jeffy, I think I know what to do.
00:30:48Hey, homeless guy!
00:30:49There's beer in that bucket!
00:30:51Beer!
00:30:52Oh!
00:30:54We did it, Jeffy!
00:30:56Yay!
00:30:57Oh, stupid-head, goof-head boy!
00:30:59You tried!
00:31:00And you failed, bitch!
00:31:02Hey, Marvin, we survived again!
00:31:04And there's only one, two, three, four, five of us left!
00:31:06That means I just have to convince four people to be my friends
00:31:09so I can stab them in the back and get them killed
00:31:10so I can get all $400 billion.
00:31:12What?
00:31:13Huh?
00:31:13Hey, Marvin, we getting close to that money on!
00:31:16How many more games we got?
00:31:17All right, man, I can keep going.
00:31:18Fuck it.
00:31:18Yeah, I can keep going, too!
00:31:20Yeah, what's the next game?
00:31:20I want to keep playing!
00:31:23Oh, the old guy already fell asleep.
00:31:25Yes, that means it is time to go to bed.
00:31:27Wait, what happened to Triangle Man?
00:31:29He died.
00:31:29Oh, you sound like a girl!
00:31:31I didn't know they had girl guards here!
00:31:33Ooh, hey, take your mask off.
00:31:34Let me see if you're a butterface or not.
00:31:36No.
00:31:36Oh, yeah, she sounded like a butterface.
00:31:37She ugly as hell, y'all.
00:31:38Oh, come on, show us your face!
00:31:40I will now announce the earnings for the last game.
00:31:43Nah, screw that.
00:31:44We want to see your tits!
00:31:45Yeah!
00:31:48Look up!
00:31:49Look up!
00:31:49No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:31:51Look, look, my wife is dead and Marvin's wife is dead, so we're available.
00:31:54Yeah, they're mourning.
00:31:55No.
00:31:56Okay.
00:31:57Come on!
00:31:57Let's just go to sleep so we can play the next game tomorrow, guys.
00:32:00Okay, fine.
00:32:01I'm going to get this bunk right here.
00:32:02Um, I guess I'll get this one.
00:32:05Ugh.
00:32:06Ugh.
00:32:07God, I just can't get comfortable without a fine-ass, sexy-ass, circular bitch in my bed.
00:32:14Ooh, girl, I lick all in a circle on your ass.
00:32:17Like, ugh.
00:32:20Oh, let's play a game with my squid and see if you can get inked up.
00:32:24You feel me?
00:32:26You feel me, baby?
00:32:29You hear me, girl?
00:32:30Yes, I hear you.
00:32:31Okay, so come and get them pee-pee sparks.
00:32:33I'm waiting, goddamn.
00:32:33Why are you naked?
00:32:35Uh, because clothes are constricting and I'm trying to let my baby breathe.
00:32:38You feel me?
00:32:39So take your clothes off.
00:32:40I know it's constricting.
00:32:41I am not interested.
00:32:44You funny as hell, girl.
00:32:45You must not know I'm a 400 billion now.
00:32:48So you better get with the program and get left behind.
00:32:50So, uh, come your ass on.
00:32:52Please stop talking to me.
00:32:54Look, baby, just come and get impregnated.
00:32:56I know you want this pee-pee.
00:32:58Leave me alone.
00:32:59Look, look, look.
00:33:00I know you hiding that outfit, so you want me to turn the fan on?
00:33:03Look, I'm going to turn it on anyway.
00:33:05Boop!
00:33:05Get ready for the windmill!
00:33:07Ooh, ooh, ooh.
00:33:09You like it?
00:33:10I know it's small, but it'll get there in a minute.
00:33:13What the hell was that?
00:33:14Sounds like someone got shot.
00:33:15Huh, that'd be cool.
00:33:16That means we have a better chance of winning.
00:33:18I wish I would have chose a different bed.
00:33:19Why?
00:33:19Because the old man is slaving above me and his hand is in front of my face.
00:33:23You know, I think maybe that old man controls these games.
00:33:26Why?
00:33:27Well, all the guards keep calling him boss, and like, during tug-of-war, he didn't do it.
00:33:31He just quit and had the guard do it for him.
00:33:32And like, when we were doing the cookies earlier, he didn't do that either.
00:33:35The guard did it for him.
00:33:36I was going to have the guard do mine, but I already broke it.
00:33:39Wow, I'm going to keep my eye on him.
00:33:40Yeah, you should.
00:33:42Marvin, you ever think about how small we are?
00:33:44I mean, I've Googled it.
00:33:45I'm the average three and a half inches.
00:33:47No, no, no, no, not like that.
00:33:49I mean, obviously, people who have bigger ones are lucky.
00:33:50No, I just mean like in the universe, you know?
00:33:52Like, we're on just like a little rock out in space, you know?
00:33:55There's like trillions and trillions of stars out there.
00:33:57It's just crazy.
00:33:59We can't be alone out there.
00:34:00Yeah, it is crazy.
00:34:01I'll think about that while I'm asleep.
00:34:09Marvin?
00:34:11Marvin, what the hell are you doing?
00:34:13I just want to see you sleep.
00:34:15What?
00:34:15Why?
00:34:16Because I don't know.
00:34:17I just forget about it.
00:34:18No, no, what the fuck, Marvin?
00:34:19That's fucking creepy.
00:34:20What are you doing?
00:34:21I just want to look at people while they sleep.
00:34:23What is wrong with you?
00:34:25There's nothing wrong with me.
00:34:25I just go to sleep unless it's fine.
00:34:27Is this like a sex thing for you?
00:34:28No, no.
00:34:29When people are sleeping, I just like, I used to look at Rose while she sleeps.
00:34:32I just think it's like a peaceful thing to look at.
00:34:33That's fucking weird, Marvin.
00:34:34It's not weird.
00:34:35It's not weird.
00:34:36It's extremely weird, Marvin.
00:34:39I don't think we can be friends anymore.
00:34:40Why?
00:34:41That's fucking weird.
00:34:41You're creeping me out, Marvin.
00:34:42We were sharing secrets and you had to go and make it all weird.
00:34:45Okay, listen.
00:34:45Just go to sleep and forget about it.
00:34:46I'm not going to sleep now because you might look at me.
00:34:49There's nothing wrong with looking at a sleeping person.
00:34:51It's weird, Marvin.
00:34:51I don't know.
00:34:52I don't like it.
00:34:52But if we have another game, I'm not going to let you be my partner.
00:34:57Marvin, are you watching the old man sleep?
00:34:59No.
00:35:01Yes, you are.
00:35:02No, go to sleep.
00:35:08Everyone, wake up.
00:35:10I just woke up, man.
00:35:12Jesus, Marvin.
00:35:13Did you even sleep?
00:35:13Yeah, I just woke up.
00:35:14I said it.
00:35:14No, you didn't.
00:35:15Your eyes are all bloodshot.
00:35:16You were watching the old man sleep all night, weren't you?
00:35:18No.
00:35:19Yes, you were.
00:35:19You freak.
00:35:20Hey, somebody kill Marvin in the next game.
00:35:22He's a freak.
00:35:22It is time to play the next game.
00:35:25Wait, no breakfast?
00:35:26God, this place sucks.
00:35:27Even Holiday Inn gives you free continental breakfast.
00:35:29Give me some Froot Loops or something.
00:35:31You will be awarded a meal after the next two games.
00:35:34Wait, the next two?
00:35:35It's going to be like lunchtime by then.
00:35:36And what if I don't live that long?
00:35:37I don't want to die in an empty stomach.
00:35:39Well, what's the next game?
00:35:40Oh, I bet it's a staring contest.
00:35:41I don't want to get paired up with Freak Boy.
00:35:43Pick your partners for the next game.
00:35:45Oh, it's definitely a staring contest.
00:35:47I want the old man.
00:35:48He's going to fall asleep so I can kill him.
00:35:50Well, it looks like me and your burgers, Dad.
00:35:51Won't fit your diaper-beating contest.
00:35:53Which I want now.
00:35:55Wait, what happened to him?
00:35:57Oh, wow.
00:35:58It looks like he...
00:35:58Maybe he fell off his bunk bed?
00:36:00Yeah, maybe that's what that gunshot was about.
00:36:02Oh, man.
00:36:02You can get shot while you're sleeping?
00:36:04Follow me to the next game.
00:36:06Luckily, I don't sleep.
00:36:07What?
00:36:08Marbles?
00:36:09Oh, a marble-eating contest, of course.
00:36:11That's why they didn't let us eat breakfast.
00:36:13They didn't want us to spoil our appetite for marbles.
00:36:15Marble-eating contest?
00:36:17Oh, yeah.
00:36:17We used to have these in kindergarten all the time.
00:36:19I could always eat the most marbles.
00:36:21I even out-munched Mabel the Marble Muncher.
00:36:23Let me tell you about it.
00:36:24So when I was in kindergarten, we would always eat marbles.
00:36:26We weren't supposed to, and for legal purposes, I should say you shouldn't either,
00:36:30because they could cause an obstruction in your bowels and you could die.
00:36:32But from my made-up story, I used to eat marbles all the time.
00:36:35Other kids would eat cereal for breakfast, but I would eat a bowl of marbles.
00:36:38There was this one girl named Mabel the Marble Muncher.
00:36:40She would keep a pack of marbles in her pocket like they were Skittles.
00:36:43Whenever she used the bathroom, it sounded like she was shooting up the bathroom with a BB gun.
00:36:47Her shit looked like Reese's Puffs.
00:36:48One day, she challenged me to a marble-eating contest, and I said,
00:36:51You really want to do this, bitch?
00:36:53But the teacher heard me, and I got suspended,
00:36:54so I didn't actually get to beat her in the marble-eating contest.
00:36:57And when I got back to school from being suspended, she had already moved away to Maryland.
00:37:01What was the point in this story?
00:37:03Well, there never really is one,
00:37:05but I know I would have beaten Mabel in that marble-eating contest
00:37:07if she didn't run away to Maryland like a little bitch.
00:37:10I will now explain the rules to the game.
00:37:13Using your set of ten marbles, play the game-
00:37:16Boring! Take your clothes off!
00:37:18Jeez, why do women want to yap all the time?
00:37:19Shut up, she's telling us the rules!
00:37:21Ah, like I was saying,
00:37:23using your set of ten marbles,
00:37:26play the game of your choice with your partner.
00:37:28The player who manages to take all ten marbles from their partner wins.
00:37:33Wait a minute.
00:37:34That means I have to kill Jeffy?
00:37:36Oh, you're going down, Daddy!
00:37:38Like my syndrome, bitch!
00:37:40What game do you want to play, Daddy?
00:37:42I don't want to play a game, Jeffy.
00:37:43Oh, I got an idea!
00:37:44How about whoever makes the best smiley face wins?
00:37:46Go!
00:37:46What?
00:37:46Smiley face?
00:37:47Damn it.
00:37:48That means we can't do a marble-eating contest.
00:37:50Unless I eat all your marbles.
00:37:51You can't eat my marbles!
00:37:53What game should we play?
00:37:55Wait, she said any game of our choice, right?
00:37:57Can we play Fortnite?
00:37:58I could totally smoke this old man in 1v1 on Fortnite.
00:38:01No, you cannot play Fortnite.
00:38:03You said any game of our choice, liar!
00:38:06Okay, fine.
00:38:07Bring in a basketball hoop.
00:38:08I'll kick his ass and horse.
00:38:09You can only play a game using your marbles.
00:38:12Nothing else.
00:38:13God, you're no help.
00:38:14This place sucks.
00:38:14What kind of game are we supposed to play with marbles?
00:38:16I'm done!
00:38:17I'm done, too.
00:38:17Can you come grade our smiley faces?
00:38:19No, no, no.
00:38:20This is not how you play the game.
00:38:22You're supposed to take your opponent's marbles.
00:38:24But my smiley face has a nose, so it's more anatomically correct, so I win.
00:38:28No, the player with the most marbles at the end of the game wins.
00:38:31But we both have ten marbles, so it's a tie.
00:38:33No, you're supposed to take your opponent's marbles.
00:38:35And how are we supposed to do that?
00:38:36You're supposed to come up with a game to do that.
00:38:39Wait, so you guys had 400 billion dollars and you couldn't think of a few more games?
00:38:42You're just like, here's some marbles.
00:38:43Figure it out.
00:38:44That's stupid.
00:38:45If you refuse to play the game, you will be eliminated.
00:38:49Bitch, I'm not refusing to play.
00:38:50I'm just saying you should tell us what game to play like you did in the last few fucking games
00:38:53with the cookie and shit and we'll play it.
00:38:55Okay, fine!
00:38:56I'll give you an example.
00:38:57Even or odd.
00:38:59What?
00:38:59What are you talking about?
00:39:00We both have ten marbles.
00:39:01It's a tie.
00:39:01No, you grab marbles in your hand and your partner guesses whether you have an even or odd amount of
00:39:07marbles in your hand.
00:39:08If they get it right, they take those marbles from your hand.
00:39:11If they get it wrong, you take that amount of marbles from them.
00:39:15And you fucking lost me.
00:39:16Does anybody understand what she just said?
00:39:18Hey, can we just do cookies again?
00:39:19I think I know how to do that one without breaking them now.
00:39:21No, you can't play the cookie game again.
00:39:24Okay, what about this game?
00:39:26Throwing.
00:39:26Player who throws their marbles the farthest wins.
00:39:29Do I win?
00:39:30Can I have breakfast now?
00:39:33Hey, you can't shoot me.
00:39:35I didn't lose.
00:39:36Listen, if you can't handle this job, maybe you should go back to making cookies.
00:39:39Like, is there another shape-faced person we could be talking to?
00:39:41Like, is there a star man?
00:39:43Or like a trapezoid man?
00:39:44Or a parallelogram man?
00:39:46Or like a dodecahedron man?
00:39:48If you don't, stop talking.
00:39:49I will shoot you.
00:39:50Yeah, I doubt it.
00:39:51I mean, that's gotta be against the rules.
00:39:53And there's only four of us left, so you definitely wouldn't do that in the last few rounds.
00:39:56Collect your partner's marbles in two minutes.
00:39:59Or you die.
00:40:01See, I told you she wouldn't shoot me.
00:40:02Okay, seriously guys, we have to think of a game.
00:40:04We only have two minutes.
00:40:05Well, I think I'm pretty committed to the marble throwing game.
00:40:07Your turn, old man.
00:40:08I'd like to see you beat that with your crippled old arms.
00:40:10I bet you can't even throw a grain of sand if your life depen-
00:40:12Oh.
00:40:13Oh, okay.
00:40:14All right, you want to throw marbles?
00:40:15Do you, bitch?
00:40:16Well, I'll have you know I even beat Marty the Marble Thrower in elementary school.
00:40:20Let me tell you about him.
00:40:20I don't want to hear another one of your damn stories.
00:40:24Oh, okay, okay.
00:40:25Yeah, no, you just want to die.
00:40:26Well, they don't call me Brooklyn Guy the Marble for Miles Thrower for nothing.
00:40:30They call me that because I throw him for miles.
00:40:32Check this out.
00:40:33Shit, it slipped out of my hand.
00:40:34That doesn't count.
00:40:35It counts!
00:40:36No, no, no, I get to do it again.
00:40:38I made up the game.
00:40:39I can make up the rules.
00:40:39She's not even watching anyway.
00:40:42Okay, well, that one does have to count, but I'm going to do better next time.
00:40:47Jeffy, have you thought of a game yet?
00:40:48All right, Daddy, check it.
00:40:49I have a certain number of marbles in my ass, and if you guess that number correct, you get those
00:40:54marbles.
00:40:55I don't want marbles to be in your ass, Jeffy.
00:40:56All right, well, then the rest of them are going in there.
00:40:58No!
00:40:59Oh, come on, you're cheating.
00:41:01Guys, he's cheating.
00:41:03How is he cheating?
00:41:03Because he's throwing the marbles farther than me, which shouldn't be possible because he's so old.
00:41:07You know what?
00:41:07I want to play a different game.
00:41:09You couldn't even think of a one!
00:41:11Okay, well, how about this?
00:41:12We'll play the odd and even game.
00:41:14How many marbles am I holding?
00:41:15Don't look.
00:41:16Uh, four.
00:41:17Even.
00:41:18Fuck.
00:41:18No, no, that's wrong.
00:41:19I got odd three.
00:41:21I just saw you take a marble out of your hand and put it on the ground.
00:41:24Well, how did you see that?
00:41:25Unless you were looking, which is against the rules.
00:41:27Does that mean you were cheating?
00:41:28Ma'am, he was cheating at the game we were playing.
00:41:31Nuh-uh.
00:41:31I am so tired of hearing your voice!
00:41:34But ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, listen, listen.
00:41:36He was cheating.
00:41:37We were doing the throwing game, and he threw farther than me, and so he definitely somehow cheated.
00:41:41And then we were doing the odd and even game, and I told him not to look, and then he
00:41:45looked when I dropped one because he got the answer right.
00:41:47These games are just so confusing!
00:41:48You are making the games!
00:41:50I know!
00:41:51Uh, ma'am, excuse me.
00:41:52Jeffy put all ten of his marbles in his ass and said, if I guessed the number, I'd win those.
00:41:56But I know, I mean, obviously the answer's ten, but I don't want ten shitty marbles.
00:42:00Actually, there's nine marbles in my ass and one marble in my hand, so you owe me nine of your
00:42:05marbles.
00:42:06Okay, but ma'am, that doesn't count.
00:42:08I wasn't gonna put my hand in his ass.
00:42:09I don't care how you do it, but you better have twenty marbles by the time the clock hits zero.
00:42:15Twenty marbles?
00:42:16How are we supposed to do that?
00:42:17You take them from your partner!
00:42:19But they're way over there.
00:42:20Can you pass them to us?
00:42:21I'm leaving the room, and I will come back when the game is over.
00:42:25All right, buddy.
00:42:26How many marbles are in my stinker now?
00:42:28Jeffy, I only have one marble left, and you get that, I die!
00:42:31I'm like a hungry, hungry hippo in this bitch.
00:42:33Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
00:42:34Stop it, Jeffy!
00:42:35All right, old man.
00:42:36I'm tired of these games.
00:42:37Let's do one more throw, and whoever throws it the farthest gets all the marbles.
00:42:41Okay, you're on!
00:42:43Okay, I throw first.
00:42:45All right, buddy, you can do this.
00:42:49Huh, fuck, fuck me!
00:42:51Time to die!
00:42:54Ha!
00:42:55Ha!
00:42:56I win!
00:42:57I win!
00:42:57Ma'am!
00:42:58Ma'am, I win!
00:42:58He loses!
00:42:59No, no!
00:43:00Boss, did you really lose?
00:43:01You just called him Boss.
00:43:03Yeah, it's true.
00:43:04I have lost.
00:43:06Okay, shoot him.
00:43:07No, no, wait!
00:43:08No, please!
00:43:09Don't shoot me in this room in front of everybody!
00:43:13Take me someone else!
00:43:15That's weird.
00:43:16We got to see everybody else get shot.
00:43:17All right, Boss.
00:43:18Come with me.
00:43:19Look, did you guys hear that?
00:43:20Yeah, she called him Boss twice, and I don't think she's really going to shoot him.
00:43:24I'm telling you, something's up with him.
00:43:25All right, Danny.
00:43:26Put that marble in your ass, and let me guess how many's up there.
00:43:29Oh, no, Jeffy, I'm going to die.
00:43:31One.
00:43:33Bingo.
00:43:34I'm going to die.
00:43:36Marvin, you could just take mine and the old man's marbles, then you'll have 20.
00:43:38Wait, I could do that?
00:43:39Yeah, sure, why not?
00:43:40Okay, quick, quick, quick, quick, get over here.
00:43:42Uh, ma'am, we're done.
00:43:44Who has 20 marbles?
00:43:46Um, we both do.
00:43:47What?
00:43:48That's not possible.
00:43:49Yeah, yeah, it is.
00:43:50Because I gave Marvin mine and the old man's marbles.
00:43:52Well, you can't do that!
00:43:54Well, you can't just make up new rolls.
00:43:55I didn't need mine.
00:43:56You said whoever had 21.
00:43:57But, okay, you know what?
00:43:59Fine.
00:44:00Who cares?
00:44:00You all win.
00:44:02Yeah!
00:44:02We moved on to the final three!
00:44:05Hey, Marvin, we made it to the final three!
00:44:07I mean, I knew me and Jeffy would make it because we have plot armor, but I'm really surprised
00:44:10you're here.
00:44:11I mean, I did have to help you out in that last round, but now I just need to convince
00:44:14two people to be my friends so I can stab them in the back and get them killed.
00:44:16I heard you this time.
00:44:17Oh, yeah?
00:44:18And what are you going to do about it?
00:44:19We're enemies now!
00:44:20Guess who made it to the final four!
00:44:22No, no, no, no, you died.
00:44:23I know it looked like I died, but they healed me and passed me out because they needed someone
00:44:27in the next round.
00:44:28Okay, did rules mean nothing here?
00:44:29He should have had to do that marble game.
00:44:31What marble game?
00:44:32Oh, it was bullshit.
00:44:33You couldn't even eat the marbles?
00:44:34You had to, like, count them or throw them or put them in your ass or something?
00:44:37What the fuck?
00:44:38The game was easy.
00:44:39You're just stupid.
00:44:41And then you have her making fun of you the entire time.
00:44:44Yeah, I wonder what the next game is.
00:44:45Oh, I'll tell you what the next game is.
00:44:47They probably give us a piece of paper and tell us to do it because that's what the last
00:44:50one was because they can't think of good games.
00:44:52How about you take some of the money out of the piggy and use it to buy better games like
00:44:55Uno or Connect Four or Heads Up 7-Up or Tag or Hide and Seek?
00:45:00Literally anything would be better.
00:45:01Okay, shut up!
00:45:02I will find out what the next game is!
00:45:04And also, what happened to the old man?
00:45:06Like, they kept calling him boss and they didn't even shoot him.
00:45:08Yeah, he was definitely running these games.
00:45:10I bet he's still alive.
00:45:11It is time to play the next game.
00:45:14Oh, did you come up with one?
00:45:15I thought you were just going to give us a balloon and a stick and tell us to come up
00:45:17with the game ourselves.
00:45:18Shut up!
00:45:19Oh, we're playing the quiet game, everybody!
00:45:21Hey, she's giving clues to games.
00:45:22She should be fired.
00:45:23I wish we were playing the quiet game.
00:45:25For the next game, we are adding more players.
00:45:29Oh, bullshit!
00:45:30Oh, that's no way.
00:45:30Hey, Marvin, what are you doing here?
00:45:32Hank?
00:45:33You just don't have any rules, do you?
00:45:34People are just doing whatever the hell you want.
00:45:36They were playing the same games as you, just in another room.
00:45:40Another room?
00:45:40How many groups do you have?
00:45:42This is the final group.
00:45:44So that means there's one, two, three, four, five, six people left.
00:45:47Very good, Marvin.
00:45:48And that is six people.
00:45:49You know your numbers, but do you know your colors, too?
00:45:51Oh, don't hit me anymore.
00:45:53I'm going to kick your ass in his ass.
00:45:54Uncle, uncle, uncle, uncle.
00:45:56Oh, why are you calling for your uncle?
00:45:56Did he touch you?
00:45:57Knock it off!
00:45:59It is time to play the next game.
00:46:00Follow me.
00:46:01How will that hurt?
00:46:02Hey, guys.
00:46:03Ready to watch people die for money?
00:46:04Hell yeah, I am.
00:46:06Mickey, I can't see you in this fucking town.
00:46:08You're not supposed to use our real names, Koofy, you dumbass!
00:46:10Well, you just fucking did, stupid piece of shit, man.
00:46:13Hello, VIPs.
00:46:14Welcome to the Squid Games.
00:46:16Why is it called that?
00:46:17Yeah, I hate calamari.
00:46:19I ordered steak!
00:46:20When am I going to get some champagne?
00:46:21I'm tired of staring at an empty glass.
00:46:23Can I get some scissors?
00:46:24The genius that made this mask didn't give me any eye holes.
00:46:27Koofy, I swear if I have to hear you talk about that mask one more time!
00:46:30Well, you're wearing a goddamn Batman mask.
00:46:32You can see clear as shit.
00:46:33Well, you could have been Robin.
00:46:35Robin!
00:46:36Well, I'm not going to be your fucking sidekick.
00:46:38The lady at the place said the chicken mask had the biggest eye.
00:46:41Well, maybe you should have tried the chicken mask on
00:46:43like I did with my Batman mask!
00:46:45Oh, yeah?
00:46:46Well, how about you pull a mask and tool out of your ass
00:46:48so I can cut this thing off me?
00:46:49Oh, you know what, Goofy?
00:46:50That's actually a really good idea.
00:46:52Oh, Toodles!
00:46:54Oh, wow!
00:46:54It looks like Toodles doesn't give a fuck!
00:46:56Gentlemen, your waitress will be around shortly.
00:46:59Where's the bing-bong fucker who's running this game?
00:47:01Unfortunately, the chairman will not be able to attend tonight's game.
00:47:05Okay, well, what game are we watching next?
00:47:07Tonight, we will be watching The Glass Bridge.
00:47:10The bridge is made out of glass tiles.
00:47:12If they picked the wrong one, they'd fall to their death.
00:47:16Neat.
00:47:16You better not copy that from Bridge to Terabithia.
00:47:18Because if you did, I'll sue your ass!
00:47:21You think $400 billion is a lot of money?
00:47:23Well, Justin throws that to his nutsock when he died!
00:47:26That's a pretty cool bridge.
00:47:27I wish I could see what you guys were fucking talking about,
00:47:29but I'm stuck inside Chicken Little's ass!
00:47:31Oh, my God!
00:47:33If someone doesn't bring him a pair of damn scissors!
00:47:36Gentlemen, your waitress is here.
00:47:38I'm kind of in a rush.
00:47:39I'm the only guard left.
00:47:41I'll have some champagne.
00:47:42I'll have a double.
00:47:48Whoa, what do you think this game is?
00:47:50Oh, look, they actually have a budget for something.
00:47:52Hey, what are the rules for this game?
00:47:53This game is called Glass Bridge.
00:47:56When the timer starts...
00:47:57Hey, could you speak the hell up?
00:47:58You're way over there, and we cannot hear anything you're saying.
00:48:01Are you kidding me?
00:48:02See that?
00:48:03Keep up that tone for all of it, because the Siri voice is not working.
00:48:06This game is called Glass Bridge.
00:48:09When the timer starts, you will cross the bridge in alphabetical order according to your name.
00:48:15Make it across the bridge before the time ends and you win.
00:48:19Thank you, honey.
00:48:20She's such a bitch.
00:48:21Okay, so, like, what could kill us?
00:48:22We just walk across it?
00:48:23Yeah.
00:48:23Hey, what could kill us?
00:48:25Dammit, I thought he was just going to walk across.
00:48:27Yes, one tiny thing that could kill you.
00:48:30Some of these glass panels are made of tempered glass.
00:48:33Ahem, louder.
00:48:34Some of these glass panels are made of tempered glass that won't break if you step on it.
00:48:40The other is regular glass that will break if you step on it.
00:48:45You must pick the correct glass in order to make it across to safety.
00:48:50I feel like that's important information you should have said the first time.
00:48:53I hope you die!
00:48:55You too!
00:48:56Marvin, when I win that $400 billion, I'm going to trap her in a room with nothing but a tissue
00:49:00and a piece of corn and tell her to come up with a game to live.
00:49:02So who crosses the glass bridge first?
00:49:04Well, she did say alphabetically, so who would that be?
00:49:06Uh, well, your first name's Brooklyn, so it'd be you.
00:49:09But, uh, nice try, but I actually go by Guy.
00:49:12So who would be before G?
00:49:13Uh, you, Chef Pee-Pee?
00:49:14You're C.
00:49:15Uh, the fuck not.
00:49:16My name is Pee-Pee, not Chef Pee-Pee.
00:49:18Uh, Chef is the title, dumbass.
00:49:19Oh, well, um, who else would that be?
00:49:21Uh, you, Hank?
00:49:22Well, G comes before H, so it'd be you again.
00:49:24Uh, well, guess what?
00:49:25I don't go by Guy either.
00:49:27I actually go by my middle name, which is the letter T, so it would be Hank next.
00:49:30All right.
00:49:31Oh, my God.
00:49:32You guys didn't know this, but I used to work in the glass industry for 20 years,
00:49:36and I can tell the difference between tempered glass and not.
00:49:39But, really?
00:49:39Marvin, we got so lucky we're gonna live.
00:49:41All right, see, what you gotta do is you just gotta look for the light refractions in the glass.
00:49:46See, it reflects different, so, uh, let me just take a look here.
00:49:49Oh, this one right here's gotta be the tempered glass.
00:49:52Oh, no!
00:49:53I guess he didn't know the difference.
00:49:55Hank!
00:49:56Well, I guess we know which one to step on now.
00:49:58But not the next one.
00:50:00Well, who goes next?
00:50:01Uh, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, R, G.
00:50:03Look at you, Marvin.
00:50:04You know your alphabets.
00:50:05Oh, Jeffy's next.
00:50:06Okay.
00:50:07Move on your way, fuckers.
00:50:09I'm about to run this bitch.
00:50:10No, take your time, Jeffy.
00:50:11You gotta take your time.
00:50:12You can't just keep jumping to the next one.
00:50:14Don't rush it, Jeffy.
00:50:15Take your time.
00:50:15You might die.
00:50:16Dang, this is easy.
00:50:17I'm gonna do this shit backwards.
00:50:19Oh, I can't watch.
00:50:23Marvin, he did it.
00:50:24What?
00:50:24No way!
00:50:25Ain't no fucking way, bro.
00:50:27Jeffy, how'd you do it?
00:50:28Dang, that shit was easy.
00:50:30Guys, did anyone see what he stepped on?
00:50:32No, I was just shocked.
00:50:33Me too.
00:50:33Jeffy, which one did you step on?
00:50:35A, circle, triangle, left bumper, right bumper, left down, right up.
00:50:39I think that's the cheat code for guns in Grand Theft Auto.
00:50:42No, seriously, Jeffy, which one was it?
00:50:43I don't know, dang.
00:50:44I forgot.
00:50:45I speed ran that bitch.
00:50:46Oh, my God.
00:50:47Okay, so who's next?
00:50:48Um, you are, Marvin.
00:50:49What, me?
00:50:50Yeah, because it goes pee-pee and then Suzanne and then me, so you're M.
00:50:53Uh, my middle name's Zion.
00:50:55No, it's not.
00:50:55Your name ain't Zion.
00:50:56Stop lying.
00:50:57I got a C-O-I-D.
00:50:58Um, no, no.
00:50:59Okay.
00:51:01Um, can someone help me with the next one?
00:51:03Does anyone know possibly what could be the difference?
00:51:05Oh, oh, Marvin.
00:51:06If we had something we could throw at the glass, you can hear the difference between tempered and regular glass.
00:51:10You can?
00:51:11Yeah, it's like night and day.
00:51:12Okay, I gotta think of something to throw.
00:51:13Does anyone have anything to throw?
00:51:14Oh, Jeffy, do you have anything to throw?
00:51:16I got marbles in my ass.
00:51:18I can toss you one of yours.
00:51:19I don't want a marble that's been in your ass, Jeffy.
00:51:21Marvin, your life could depend on it.
00:51:22All of our lives depend on it.
00:51:23Get this shitty marble, Marvin.
00:51:24Uh, okay, fine.
00:51:27Jeffy, toss me a marble.
00:51:33Jeffy, you missed.
00:51:34You missed.
00:51:34We lost it.
00:51:35Do you have another one?
00:51:36Dang, I can shoot him out of my ass like a BB gun.
00:51:38No, Jeffy, I just need one marble.
00:51:40All right, hold on.
00:51:48That sounds like tempered glass to me, Marvin.
00:51:50Wait, really?
00:51:51It does?
00:51:51Yeah, it's a very distinctive sound.
00:51:53It's like a cat's meow.
00:51:54You just can't mistake it.
00:51:55Okay, so it must be this one.
00:51:58Oh my God, that was so close.
00:52:00Wait, what?
00:52:00Marvin, I have no fucking idea what glass sounds like.
00:52:03Are you kidding me?
00:52:03So I just risked my life?
00:52:05Of course.
00:52:05What, do you think I was trying to help you?
00:52:06I've been screwing over everybody.
00:52:08So if Jeffy gives us more marbles, we won't be able to tell the difference?
00:52:10No, it doesn't fucking matter.
00:52:11Are you kidding me?
00:52:13Okay, well, I'm not moving forward.
00:52:16Someone else has to go.
00:52:17No, you have to go all the way.
00:52:19No, no, that bitch isn't here and we all know they don't enforce rules here.
00:52:21And I already risked my life for one square, so someone else come and do the next one.
00:52:24Yeah, somebody whose letter comes before mine and the alphabet go before me.
00:52:28Uh, neither am I me.
00:52:29I'll go.
00:52:30I've already lost my husband.
00:52:32Yeah, that's right.
00:52:33See, Marvin, she has bigger balls than you.
00:52:34Yeah, you come up here and you do it.
00:52:35What an idiot.
00:52:36Oh, which one could it be?
00:52:38Well, your husband worked in glass for...
00:52:40Jeffy, stop it.
00:52:41Make me.
00:52:42Your husband worked in glass for 20 years.
00:52:44Did they ever talk about glass with you?
00:52:45No, all he knew how to do was cheat on me with the babysitter.
00:52:49Oh, I don't know which one to pick.
00:52:51Let me out.
00:52:52Someone else come before me.
00:52:53I don't want to go anymore.
00:52:54Oh, well, actually, I think I can tell the difference.
00:52:56Really?
00:52:56Yeah, it's that one.
00:52:58I'm not fucking around.
00:53:00Damn, Marvin, you fucking savage.
00:53:01I didn't think you had it in you.
00:53:03We kill him next.
00:53:03Oh, yeah, deal.
00:53:04All right.
00:53:05That means there's three tiles left.
00:53:07And I'm still not moving, so someone better go first.
00:53:10Okay, PPP goes next.
00:53:12God damn it.
00:53:13All right, you're right.
00:53:14Get out of the way.
00:53:15Okay.
00:53:17All right, move, Marvin.
00:53:19Let's grow full business.
00:53:21Okay, what do you think the next one is?
00:53:22I'm not sure.
00:53:23Does this one look like it has a weird tint to you?
00:53:25I mean, I can't tell the difference.
00:53:27You can't push me.
00:53:29I knew I was right, though.
00:53:30You were right.
00:53:31Okay, so we only have two more left.
00:53:33What do you think the next one is?
00:53:34I'm not sure.
00:53:36Stop pushing me.
00:53:37Damn, I'm good.
00:53:38Wait, we only have one more left.
00:53:40Okay, well, you actually have to do that one.
00:53:41You can't push me.
00:53:41I'm going to sit down.
00:53:42You have to actually choose.
00:53:43No, the hell I don't.
00:53:44Okay, well, I'm not moving.
00:53:45You chose.
00:53:46You made me risk my life for these two,
00:53:47so you should jump on a real one.
00:53:49I guess so.
00:53:50You are right.
00:53:50I didn't make you choose.
00:53:52Hold on.
00:53:53Oh, which one is it?
00:53:57No, Shep-Bee-Bee died!
00:54:00Hey, look, Marvin.
00:54:01We know which one to step on.
00:54:02It's right there.
00:54:02I can't believe Shep-Bee-Bee's dead.
00:54:04Hey, Marvin, I have a confession.
00:54:06What?
00:54:06I actually saw the ones that Jeffy stepped on,
00:54:08so I could have saved all of you,
00:54:09but I wanted to eliminate a few people
00:54:11because I want that money for myself.
00:54:12You monster!
00:54:13Yeah, we can discuss that later.
00:54:14The time's about to end.
00:54:27Oh, my God!
00:54:28It's in my eyes!
00:54:28It's in my eyes!
00:54:29What the fuck was the point of that?
00:54:30We made it across, assholes.
00:54:32You're just going to shoot glass in our eyes?
00:54:33We don't even have goggles.
00:54:34So, VIPs, did you enjoy the game?
00:54:36Hell, yeah, I did.
00:54:38It was so cool.
00:54:40Three people died.
00:54:41And Marvin's still alive,
00:54:42so if I'm lucky,
00:54:43he'll win and I'll get his house payment money.
00:54:45Oh, I hope he dies.
00:54:46I hate that bitch.
00:54:47Well, I wish I could have seen it,
00:54:49but I fucking can't.
00:54:50Just ignore him.
00:54:51Wait, who died?
00:54:53I met all the chefs
00:54:54lived after a penis.
00:54:55Did he live?
00:54:56Hello?
00:54:57Am I talking to my fucking self over here?
00:54:59If you guys left,
00:55:00I wouldn't be able to tell.
00:55:01Oh, my God.
00:55:02He's dead, Goofy.
00:55:03Well, fuck.
00:55:03There goes all my extremely goofy movie royalties.
00:55:06Max is going to be pissed.
00:55:09Oh, wow.
00:55:10You know what?
00:55:10The champagne.
00:55:11It tastes like hot dogs.
00:55:13It tastes like hot dogs?
00:55:14Yeah.
00:55:15It tastes like Piglet's ass cheeks.
00:55:16Well, Mickey, where's my champagne?
00:55:18It's right there, Goofy.
00:55:20Oh, because I know where right there is,
00:55:21because I can fucking see.
00:55:22I don't know.
00:55:23Why did you reach around?
00:55:24I stayed home.
00:55:25I could get a reach around from Clarabelle.
00:55:27Yeah, everyone has, buddy.
00:55:29Oh, my God.
00:55:30Goofy, you made a mess.
00:55:32Well, it's not my fucking fault.
00:55:33I can't say in this stupid ass bathroom.
00:55:35I'm going to go to the bathroom and whack off.
00:55:37Oh, my God.
00:55:38I am so sorry I brought him.
00:55:40He's kind of just like a tag-along.
00:55:41Oh.
00:55:43Congratulations on making it to the final three.
00:55:46Okay, cool.
00:55:46But that last game, what was that about?
00:55:48What do you mean?
00:55:49Well, we all made it across the glass bridge,
00:55:50and then you guys just blew it up on our faces.
00:55:52Like, there were glass shards everywhere.
00:55:54I mean, look at Marvin.
00:55:54He got all cut up.
00:55:55We did that in case there was anyone on the bridge.
00:55:58They would be eliminated.
00:55:59Okay, but there was nobody left on the bridge,
00:56:01so I don't know why you guys blew it up.
00:56:02And you guys could have just dropped the glass out.
00:56:04You didn't have to blow it up and make glass shards fly everywhere.
00:56:07You know how hard that's going to be to clean up?
00:56:08It takes forever to clean up glass.
00:56:09You're not going to get it all.
00:56:11Because you made it to the final three,
00:56:13you will be rewarded with a fancy dinner.
00:56:15Oh, Marvin, you hear that?
00:56:16A fancy dinner.
00:56:17Oh, now how fancy are we talking?
00:56:18Are we talking no elbows on the table fancy or Olive Garden fancy?
00:56:21And also, can I see a menu?
00:56:22No.
00:56:23Okay, but I'm warning you.
00:56:24I don't eat regular salad.
00:56:25I only eat Caesar.
00:56:26And for dessert, I want one of those, um...
00:56:28Marvin, what is that coffee thing with the layers?
00:56:30A tiramisu.
00:56:31I want that or vanilla ice cream.
00:56:33You do not get to choose.
00:56:34Okay, but if I don't like it, I'm going to complain.
00:56:37Please put on your suits to get ready for dinner.
00:56:39Suits?
00:56:39I actually didn't pack a suit.
00:56:41We have provided you with suits.
00:56:43Oh, is this like a rental thing?
00:56:45Are you going to charge me if I get it dirty?
00:56:46Because I am a messy eater.
00:56:47No.
00:56:48Okay, but I'm warning you.
00:56:49I'm going to go crazy.
00:56:49Please put on your suits, and I will be back to get you shortly.
00:56:53Okay.
00:56:54Where are they?
00:56:56Oh, now these are some nice suits.
00:56:58Daddy, I look spiffy as fuck.
00:57:00I'm about to get some poo in this bitch.
00:57:01Hell yeah, Jeffy.
00:57:02Marvin, be honest.
00:57:03How good do I look?
00:57:04Do I look like James Bond?
00:57:05The name's Guy.
00:57:06Brooklyn Guy.
00:57:10Oh, God, you're so bad.
00:57:13You ever play that game, Marvin?
00:57:14Goldeneye, for the console I can't say the name of.
00:57:17You know, Marvin, last time I wore a suit, I shit my pants.
00:57:19Yeah, I lost the security deposit for the rental, because I just returned a big old bag of shit.
00:57:23There was a suit in there somewhere.
00:57:25Please follow me to your dinner.
00:57:27Oh, God, I'm hungry.
00:57:28Oh.
00:57:45This better not be green beans!
00:57:47Oh, my God.
00:57:48Now this is a meal?
00:57:50Fuck those eggs!
00:57:51What is this?
00:57:51What is this?
00:57:52Filet mignon?
00:57:53Asparagus?
00:57:53Garlic?
00:57:54Mashed taters?
00:57:55Oh.
00:57:55Now, if we're going to be killing each other, this is the kind of meal we should be eating.
00:57:59Tonight's feast is prepared as a token of gratitude for the sacrifices and effort...
00:58:06You finalists have made, and to encourage you to perform even more splendidly in the final
00:58:13game.
00:58:13Please relax and enjoy your feast.
00:58:16How long did it take you to memorize that?
00:58:17Shut up!
00:58:18I'm just saying, you know, if you talk, you should have more emotion, because the robot
00:58:21shit is just not sexy at all.
00:58:23Eat your food!
00:58:24Don't mind if I do.
00:58:28Hey, dang, this is what it would look like if I threw up.
00:58:34Juffy, stop it!
00:58:36Oh, my God.
00:58:38This steak is fucking tear.
00:58:40I mean, cooked to perfection.
00:58:42I mean, what is this, Wagyu beef?
00:58:44This cow never touched the ground.
00:58:46I like to dip the steak in the garlic mashed potatoes and the asparagus.
00:58:50I didn't even think I liked asparagus, but apparently I do.
00:58:53The way they cooked it, my compliments to the fucking chef.
00:58:56And then, what is this?
00:58:57What is this?
00:58:57Moscato?
00:58:58Let me try this.
00:59:00Oh, oh, my God.
00:59:01I am in heaven right now.
00:59:05Holy fuck!
00:59:06This steak!
00:59:07If I was on death row, I would choose this for my last meal.
00:59:11Like, if I die in the next game, I don't even care.
00:59:14It'll be worth it just for this steak.
00:59:16You know what?
00:59:16I would give up sex for the rest of my life just for one more bite of this amazing fucking
00:59:22steak.
00:59:22Oh, my God.
00:59:24I'll have what I'm having.
00:59:27Oh, fuck yeah.
00:59:32Why are you crying?
00:59:34Because it's all gone.
00:59:35I don't want it to be over yet.
00:59:38I ate too fast.
00:59:39I didn't know what I had.
00:59:40I should have savored it.
00:59:41Every bite was better than the last.
00:59:44I was like Ego from Ratatouille when he ate the Ratatouille.
00:59:47That shit took me back to my childhood.
00:59:49Are you finished?
00:59:50Unfortunately, yes.
00:59:54Hey, you forgot the knife.
00:59:56No, you keep that.
00:59:57What the hell am I going to do with a knife?
00:59:59Oh!
01:00:00Okay.
01:00:02Hold on to this.
01:00:04Now, see, Marvin?
01:00:05You got the right idea.
01:00:06You're taking your time.
01:00:07Enjoy that shit.
01:00:08Fuck yeah.
01:00:09I wish I'd done that.
01:00:10Are you done?
01:00:10Mm-hmm.
01:00:11Marvin, you better get a go box for that shit.
01:00:13I bet it's even good cold.
01:00:15Wait, what are you doing with that?
01:00:16I am throwing it away.
01:00:17No, that's bullshit.
01:00:18Give it to me if he doesn't want it.
01:00:19No.
01:00:20What?
01:00:20Come on!
01:00:21Give it to me!
01:00:22I'm going to!
01:00:23Okay, can I have his?
01:00:24No.
01:00:24What the fuck?
01:00:25You guys are wasting the best meal I've ever had!
01:00:27Oh, God help me.
01:00:31I hope you enjoyed your meal.
01:00:33Enjoyed?
01:00:34Enjoyed is not the right word.
01:00:35There is no word in the English language to describe how much I enjoyed that steak.
01:00:39I would stab my own eye out right now if it meant I could have one more bite of that
01:00:43steak.
01:00:43You know what?
01:00:43A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes, and I feel like a pig after eating that steak.
01:00:47Please go to sleep.
01:00:48You will need your rest for the final game tomorrow.
01:00:51Oh, you hear that, guys?
01:00:52The final game.
01:00:53You better hope it's not a contest to see who can eat the most of that steak,
01:00:55because I'm going to be like Joey fucking Chestnut, just horking him down.
01:01:02You're not holding up too well, are you, buddy?
01:01:04No, I'm fine.
01:01:05Yeah?
01:01:05Then why didn't you touch your food?
01:01:06It just didn't taste good.
01:01:10Stop lying to me.
01:01:11Please.
01:01:12That shit was tear.
01:01:13That was the best goddamn steak I've ever had in my life, Martin.
01:01:15That shit was like butter.
01:01:17They murdered the cows in the next room.
01:01:18That's how fresh it was.
01:01:19Those cows were massaged and jerked off five times a day.
01:01:23I would play these games five more times and risk dying every time just to make it to that dinner
01:01:28and have that steak again.
01:01:29I bet there's a room full of chefs playing these games, and if they don't make the best steak of
01:01:33their lives, they get killed.
01:01:34And that's the steaks we ate.
01:01:35If I win these games, they don't even have to give me the money.
01:01:38They can just give me the chef's phone number so I can have that steak whenever I want.
01:01:41Marvin, if there were five big black guys with 12-inch dongs in front of me,
01:01:45you do not want to know what I would do to have another bite of that steak.
01:01:48They could bang my wife if they wanted to.
01:01:50I mean, yeah, she's dead, but I would still let them do it, you know, if they're into that kind
01:01:54of thing.
01:01:54Somebody could piss on that steak and I would still eat it.
01:01:56If you threw that steak in a dumpster and a homeless guy shat on it, I would still eat it.
01:02:01That's how good that fucking steak was, Marvin.
01:02:02Oh, God, it hurts so bad.
01:02:05Marvin, you know what?
01:02:06I'm fucking pissed you didn't finish your steak.
01:02:08That makes me so fucking mad.
01:02:09You have no idea how mad I am that that steak is just rotting in a dumpster somewhere instead of
01:02:13in my belly.
01:02:14I should have eaten that steak.
01:02:16Fuck you, Marvin.
01:02:16I hate you for not eating that steak.
01:02:19I'm going to stab you to death in your sleep for not eating that steak.
01:02:28It is time to wake up.
01:02:30Oh, do we get breakfast?
01:02:32Can we have steak and eggs, but instead of eggs, we get garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus?
01:02:35No, you do not get breakfast.
01:02:37That's okay.
01:02:37I want that to be my last meal anyway.
01:02:39Will you shut up about the food?
01:02:41Well, you've clearly never had it.
01:02:42You should have snuck a bite when you were taking the plate away.
01:02:44It's life-changing.
01:02:45Phenomenal.
01:02:46As I was saying...
01:02:47Mind-blowing.
01:02:47Wait, what happened to him?
01:02:48Oh, yeah, I stabbed him to death.
01:02:50But why?
01:02:50Well, because he didn't eat his steak and I couldn't forgive that.
01:02:53We need him for the final game!
01:02:56Good morning, everybody.
01:02:58Hey, Daddy.
01:02:59I took a wicked shit in my pants.
01:03:01I need you to clean it.
01:03:02Hey, Daddy.
01:03:02Hey, Daddy.
01:03:03He's dead.
01:03:07My daddy's dead!
01:03:08I want to know who fucking killed him!
01:03:11Because when I find out who did it, I'm going to bend their fingers back all the way to their
01:03:15wrist.
01:03:15And I'm going to rip their nose off and make them eat it!
01:03:18I want to know who fucking killed my daddy!
01:03:21Oh, she did.
01:03:21Come on, bitch!
01:03:22I'm going to kill you!
01:03:23Wait, no, no, no, no!
01:03:24Hold on to that energy.
01:03:25You will need it for the final game.
01:03:27Follow me.
01:03:29Oh, I wonder what the final game will be.
01:03:31I bet it's going to be rock, paper, and scissors, and they're going to use actual rocks, papers, and scissors.
01:03:35Oh, I hope they jump rope with barbed wire.
01:03:37Mickey, I got a new mask, and I still can't see shit.
01:03:40There's no fucking eye hole.
01:03:42Oh, my God, Goofy! Why did you pick a Darth Maul mask?
01:03:45Well, you told me I needed a mask from an IP we own.
01:03:49He's already wearing Darth Vader, so I thought I'd wear Darth Maul.
01:03:52You're wearing fucking Batman, and we don't even own that.
01:03:54Not yet we don't, Goofy. Not yet.
01:03:57Hello, VIPs. Are you ready for the final game? Yes, sir.
01:04:01Do we absolutely need these masks? Because everybody knows I'm Goofy, so who gives a shit?
01:04:06The masks are to protect your identity.
01:04:08From fucking who? We're all rich as shit, and it's not like the contestants can see us,
01:04:13and even if they could, who gives a rat's fuck?
01:04:15I'm sorry, no.
01:04:16Hey, listen, man. Is there any way that he could please take the damn mask off?
01:04:22Please!
01:04:23I'm sorry, no.
01:04:24Well, I'm just going to keep bitching.
01:04:26Stupid piece of shit. You fucking dumbass Koreans made this shit kill people for motherfuckers.
01:04:32Continue! The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can take this shit off.
01:04:35All right, VIPs. The final game is called Squid Game.
01:04:40What the fuck did he say? There's no ear holes in this thing either.
01:04:43He said Squid Games!
01:04:45What the fuck is that?
01:04:48The game is called Squid Game.
01:04:50Yeah, I keep hearing people say that, and I don't know what the hell that means.
01:04:53The game is shaped like a squid.
01:04:55Wait, this is supposed to be a squid? I thought it was a badly drawn house.
01:04:58Where are the tentacles? It's like the main thing squids have.
01:05:00I hope this is a contest to see who can draw a squid, because I know I would at least
01:05:03beat you.
01:05:04Let me explain the rules.
01:05:06Please.
01:05:06One, the attacker must...
01:05:08Okay, who is the attacker?
01:05:09We'll pick that in a minute!
01:05:11Okay.
01:05:11The attacker must enter into the squid-shaped court.
01:05:15So this is supposed to be squid-shaped?
01:05:16Yes!
01:05:17Okay, I don't see it, but...
01:05:18Let me continue.
01:05:19The attacker must run past the defense and tap the squid's head to win.
01:05:24Wait, the squid's head? I don't even see the fucking squid. I definitely don't know where its head is.
01:05:28Two, the defender must push the attacker out of the drawing to win.
01:05:32Wait, attacker and defense? I don't even know what the hell they're doing.
01:05:35Three, if there comes a situation where either one of you can't continue playing, the last one standing wins.
01:05:42Okay, but what if neither of us know how to play the fucking game? Does that count as neither of
01:05:45us being able to play?
01:05:46Because then can we just have like a steak-eating contest instead?
01:05:49We will flip this coin to decide who is on offense and who is on defense. Heads or tails?
01:05:55Wait, which one do I want to be on?
01:05:56What?
01:05:56Which is better? Offense or defense?
01:05:58Heads or tails?
01:05:59Wait, I get to pick? Um...
01:06:01Wait, that's not fair! I want to pick!
01:06:02Yeah, he's right. That is pretty unfair. Are we going like oldest to youngest or who performed the best?
01:06:07Because I don't even know how you rate that. We're both here.
01:06:09Do you want to play rock, paper, scissors to decide who calls the toss?
01:06:12No, I did it with my wife and she died.
01:06:14Heads or tails?
01:06:15So I do get to pick.
01:06:16Wait, I don't want to pick!
01:06:17I also would like to pick.
01:06:18Okay, first person to call it in the air. Heads or tails?
01:06:21Heads.
01:06:22Wait, yes, it's heads! I get offense!
01:06:24Well, then I want defense!
01:06:25Okay, but we didn't have to toss the coin anyway!
01:06:28Players, get in your positions.
01:06:30Wait, positions? Where the hell is that?
01:06:32You don't even remember, do you?
01:06:34Offense is in the triangle.
01:06:35Okay, fuck it. Yeah, if you say so.
01:06:38Where do I go?
01:06:39Right there.
01:06:40Right there?
01:06:41Yeah.
01:06:42Okay, so does he kick off to me?
01:06:44Do we get a ball to play with or rackets or something?
01:06:47Is this another marble game?
01:06:48The game begins now.
01:06:50Oh, okay.
01:06:51Well, I'm on offense.
01:06:53Am I supposed to go over there?
01:06:54Is that the touchdown?
01:06:55Do I get a touchdown if I touch that circle?
01:06:57How many points do I get?
01:06:58Where am I supposed to be defending?
01:07:00Can I leave this circle?
01:07:02I guess she's just not going to answer us now.
01:07:04Nick, can we just fight until one of us dies?
01:07:07Yes.
01:07:07Oh, good.
01:07:08Come here!
01:07:09Oh, hey, hey, pause.
01:07:10You brought your knife?
01:07:11I didn't know you could do that.
01:07:12Hey, hey, pause.
01:07:13Freeze.
01:07:14Time out.
01:07:14He brought his knife.
01:07:15Is he allowed to do that?
01:07:16Yes.
01:07:17What the fuck?
01:07:17That's not fair!
01:07:19Ow!
01:07:20Come on, man.
01:07:21Why'd you do that?
01:07:22By the way, he killed your father.
01:07:24You killed my daddy?
01:07:26Yeah, but listen, he didn't even eat his steak.
01:07:29I hate you!
01:07:30Ow!
01:07:31Okay, I give up!
01:07:32I give up!
01:07:33I give up!
01:07:33Ow!
01:07:33No!
01:07:34I bet on him to win!
01:07:36Oh, come on!
01:07:36Finish this thing!
01:07:37Kill him!
01:07:38Who's fucking winning?
01:07:39I can't see.
01:07:41Ugh.
01:07:43You ready to die?
01:07:45Please don't kill me.
01:07:46Not until I've had one more bite of that delicious steak.
01:07:49I would like to end the games here.
01:07:51Why?
01:07:52Kid, if you quit now, you're not going to get any money.
01:07:54I want to play Fortnite on board.
01:07:56He wants to end the games early!
01:07:58Oh, come on!
01:07:59He's right there!
01:08:00Kill him!
01:08:01Finish him!
01:08:01Get your money!
01:08:02Does that mean I win my bet?
01:08:04Did you bet for them to end the games early?
01:08:06I still don't know who we're talking about!
01:08:08I don't know who the final time are!
01:08:10I'm going to swap the shit out of you, Goofy!
01:08:13Throw it, bitch!
01:08:14Do you really want to end the games here?
01:08:16Yes, I do.
01:08:17Yeah, that's right!
01:08:18The two characters with blood armor win!
01:08:20We can't die!
01:08:21And that means we can always come back and play the games again!
01:08:23And have more of that at the stake!
01:08:25And hopefully you're not the guard next time.
01:08:27Because your voice is really fucking annoying and you don't know how to draw a squid.
01:08:31Jiffy wins!
01:08:32Yeah!
01:08:33No!
01:08:34But I'm rich as fuck.
01:08:36Oh, hell yeah!
01:08:37I won!
01:08:38I hate this stupid fucking Korean island!
01:08:40Wait, it's over?
01:08:41That means I can finally take this stupid shit off!
01:08:44Sweet Jesus, I can finally breathe!
01:08:46I'm getting back on the jet and going back to Magic Kingdom!
01:08:49I hope your jet crashes into a helicopter!
01:08:51Me too!
01:08:52Congratulations, Jiffy!
01:08:54You won Squid Game!
01:08:55But my daddy's dead!
01:08:57And my mommy's dead!
01:09:00But look at all your money!
01:09:03I feel better now.
01:09:04Paper!
01:09:05Like pee-pee!
01:09:06But cash!
01:09:07And cash, cash, green cash, cash, cash, cash, paper!
01:09:10Woo!
01:09:11God thank you!
01:09:13You're welcome!
01:09:13Do you know what I have?