(March 2, 2003) KDKA-TV 2 CBS Pittsburgh Commercials

Craig's VCR & Media Closet

Here are some commercials that aired during an episode of Becker and part 1 of the CBS Mini-Series, Salem Witch Trials:  1. American Express 2. Bounty Paper Towels 3. Pine-Sol 4. Salem Witch Trials CBS promo 5. Star Search CBS promo bumper 6. Creme Savers Soft Candy 7. Allegra 8. Lipitor 9. Dave Hackel Productions/Industrial Entertainment/Paramount Television (2003) 10. Split-Screen Credits 11. Toyota Corolla 12. Dollar Bank 13. KDKA-TV 2 News promo bumper 14. Intro to 'Salem Witch Trials' 15. ACE Hardware 16. Dove Invisible Solid Deodorant 17. Grab-It Mop 18. AVIS 19. Loreal Endless LipColor 20. Hershey's Chocolate Bar 21. Zoloft 22. J-A-G CBS promo 23. 48 Hours CBS promo 24. Kleenex Tissues 25. Clorox 2 Laundry Detergent 26. Merck 27. McDonald's 28. Chips Ahoy! Cookie Barz 29. CSI: Miami CBS promo 30. Lincoln Aviator 31. Youth Smoking Prevention 32. Late Show with David Letterman CBS promo 33. Survivor: The Amazon CBS promo 34. KDKA-TV News at 11pm General promo 35. PowerBall Jackpot Lottery (R.I.P. Ray Charles) 36. Ocean Spray Ruby Red 37. Pop-Secret Microwave Popcorn 38. (same as #13 & #5) 39. Coldwell Banker 40. Suave Advanced Therapy 41. Aleve 42. Just for Men 43. Visa Check Card 44. Clorox Oxygen Action 45. Orville Redenbacher's Ultimate Butter Popcorn 46. KDKA -TV News #1 Station promo bumper 47. KDKA's Storm Tracker promo 48. Long John's Silver 49. Pool City 50. Comcast 51. Total Whole Grain Cereal 52. (same as #13) 53. J-A-G CBS promo bumper 54. Chevrolet Tahoe 55. Hot Pockets 56. (same as #24) 57. Cingular Wireless 58. MetLife Insurance 59. Lubriderm Lotion 60. Alavert 61. The King of Queens/Yes, Dear/Everybody Loves Raymond/Still Standing CBS promo 62. 60 Minutes II CBS promo 63. Carnival Cruises 64. Jell-O Creme Savers Pudding 65. Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams on DVD & Videocassette 66. UPS 67. Flexium 68. Prego Spaghetti Sauce 69. (same as #19) 70. Ferrero Rocher Chocolates 71. (same as #27) 72. AFLAC 73. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation & Without A Trace CBS promos 74. Verizon Wireless 75. (same as #35) 76. Chrysler Sebring 77. Tonight on KDKA -TV News at 11:00pm... 78. Late Show with David Letterman promo bumper 79. Advair 80. Dove Hair Products 81. (same as #26) 82. Lean Pockets 83. (same as #24) 84. Star Search CBS promo

Transcript

00:15Blue from American Express.

00:41When spills are at their worst, Bounty's at its best.

00:48It's quilted, so it absorbs faster.

00:51It even gets what other towels leave behind.

00:54And it's stronger too.

01:01And look for Bounty Big Sheets.

01:03My bathroom can't be too clean.

01:06So I use this Pine Saw Cleaner instead of Mr. Clean.

01:10Because to equal the bathroom cleaning power in this one bottle of Pine Saw,

01:13you'd have to buy three bottles of him.

01:16I want the power of Pine Saw.

01:19Honey, they're against us.

01:20Dirt and some nasty old germs.

01:22Ooh, and ugly smells.

01:23You need the disinfecting power of Pine Saw to clean like crazy.

01:27And leave a clean-smelling scent in the air.

01:29The power of Pine Saw, the smell of clean.

01:32Get dirt before it gets you, honey.

01:33Over 300 years ago, 14 young girls had the people of Salem, Massachusetts, frightened to death.

01:41There's a bitch!

01:42The only thing more terrifying than the legend is the truth.

01:46I shall speak out.

01:48Are we going down?

01:50Salem Witch Trials, CBS Next.

01:55Don't you know?

01:56Food for your favorite Star Search performers.

01:58Live, CBS, Wednesday.

02:01In addition to creamy and dreamy,

02:06Cream Savers can now add soft and chewy to its resume.

02:11New silky smooth Cream Savers soft candy.

02:16Hey, Pollen, what's with the toolbox?

02:19We got work to do, Ragweed.

02:20We got to start her nose running and her eyes itching.

02:23Hey, we're allergens.

02:24It's what we do.

02:25See that bottle of Allegra?

02:27Oh, yeah.

02:28It makes this job tough.

02:30Oh, really?

02:32Seasonal allergies live to make you miserable.

02:34But Allegra is specifically designed to block the histamine that triggers multi-symptom allergic responses.

02:40Which may be why it's the number one prescription antihistamine.

02:43Some job you did.

02:44Does that look like suffering to you?

02:47No, actually.

02:48Allegra is for people 12 and over.

02:50Side effects are low and may include headache, cold, or back pain.

02:52Ask your doctor about Allegra.

02:54Come on.

02:55Let's go find something we can really hammer.

02:57Allegra.

02:58So much relief for so many symptoms.

03:29For two out of three adults with high cholesterol, diet and exercise may not lower it enough.

03:34But adding Lipitor can lower your total cholesterol 29 to 45%.

03:40Lipitor is not for everyone, including people with liver disease or possible liver problems,

03:44and women who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant.

03:47Simple blood tests are needed to check for liver problems.

03:49Tell your doctor about other medications you are taking, or if you experience muscle pain or weakness,

03:53as they may be a sign of serious side effects.

03:56So take the next step.

03:57Ask your doctor if Lipitor is right for you.

04:01Kirstie Alley, Alan Bates, and Shirley MacLaine star in Salem Witch Trials, CBS Next.

04:06CBS Monday.

04:08Can Doug handle high finance?

04:10They selected us a refinancing plan that fits our needs pretty well.

04:13Which?

04:14Uh, the purple one.

04:15The King of Queens.

04:16Then it's the great weekend getaway.

04:18The great food.

04:19The great scenery.

04:20The great family fun.

04:22You're allergic to them.

04:23Give me the shot now!

04:24Yes, dear.

04:25After the King of Queens.

04:31What you really care about is that the Corolla S is one fun to drive car,

04:36but it's also good to know that Consumers Digest named the Corolla S a best buy.

04:41And car drivers said the Corolla was bolted together as if to last an eternity.

04:45You know, until you're like 30,

04:48the Corolla S is simply one of the best cars you can buy in its class.

04:57What's the value of a dollar?

04:58Since 1855, Dollar Bank has remained steadfastly independent,

05:05keeping a constant eye on the region's main streets, not Wall Street,

05:10and on the goals of the millions of people and thousands of businesses we serve in southwestern Pennsylvania.

05:17For now, and for decades to come,

05:20that's the value of independence.

05:23And that's the value of a dollar.

05:28You know the type.

05:30The Swiss watch.

05:32The French handbag.

05:36The Italian shoes.

05:40The American car.

05:41Chrysler Sebring Sedan.

05:43With its precise engineering and sleek contemporary design,

05:46it's the perfect choice for those with an appreciation for imports.

05:50Now get a $500 auto show bonus on Chrysler Sebring Sedan.

05:56Protesters pack the streets with pit fans.

05:58The story at 11.

06:00Tonight, a CBS special movie presentation.

06:05Over 300 years ago,

06:0814 young girls

06:10had the people of Salem, Massachusetts

06:12frightened to death.

06:17From this state,

06:18the devil will be warring with double vengeance.

06:21Dark forces have descended upon Salem.

06:23You are to be hanged until you are dead.

06:26Where is your forgiveness?

06:28The only thing more terrifying than the legend

06:31is the truth.

06:33I shall speak out.

06:35Are we going down?

06:37Kirstie Alley.

06:38This village is being cleansed of your enemies.

06:41Gloria Rubin.

06:42We are doomed.

06:44Alan Bates.

06:45How did this happen here?

06:46Rebecca De Mornay.

06:47They are terrified of you.

06:50Peter Ustinov.

06:51You are convicted of witchcraft.

06:53And Shirley MacLaine.

06:54Show me hope.

07:00God defend us.

07:02Salem Witch Trials.

07:03CBS Next.

07:28Don't tell me you put that in.

07:30Yeah.

07:31I gotta see this.

07:43How sure are you about your wiring skills?

07:45Come in to Ace.

07:46We'll show you how to get the job done right.

07:48Ace.

07:49The Helpful Place.

07:50You never think about underneath your arms.

07:52Ta-da!

07:53Who looks under there?

07:54People notice everything.

07:55Between the shaving.

07:57Razor burn.

07:57Shave bumps.

07:58It's very embarrassing.

07:59I just thought that the skin under my arms

08:01was something that couldn't be changed.

08:03Because of Dove, I mean,

08:04I don't have to worry anymore.

08:05Dove gets skin.

08:06It has this moisturizer,

08:08so it is giving something back to your armpits.

08:10It's skin too.

08:11It deserves equal treatment.

08:13Dove deodorant's one-quarter moisturizer

08:15gives back what shaving takes away,

08:17leaving your underarm smooth and silky.

08:19It's soft.

08:20These women were Clorox Ready Mop users

08:23until they took home the new Grab It Mop.

08:26The Grab It Mop is much better.

08:27It's got that foaming action on there,

08:29so it can attack the scuff marks,

08:31makes it nice and loose,

08:32and you can wipe it away.

08:33It makes my job easier.

08:34After I used the Clorox Mop,

08:36I had to go over it

08:37with the Grab It.

08:38In the end,

08:39more Clorox users chose Grab It.

08:4170% more.

08:43I'll fight you for my Grab It.

08:45The better Mop is...

08:46The Grab It.

08:47The Grab It.

08:48The Grab It.

08:48The Grab It Mop.

08:49Definitely.

08:50Okay, sir.

08:51Here's your Avis Care Package

08:52with local information,

08:53traffic rules, and a map.

08:54What would it be like

08:55if Avis didn't try harder?

08:58Did Brad ask about me?

08:59Do you have a map?

09:01I gave you a map.

09:02Uh-huh.

09:03Uh, no, you didn't.

09:03I never...

09:04Yes, I did.

09:05I never got it.

09:07Yes.

09:07No.

09:08Yes.

09:08No.

09:09Can I have another map?

09:10No.

09:12Okay.

09:13If we didn't try harder,

09:14we wouldn't be Avis.

09:16The Avis Care Package.

09:18Thanks.

09:18Give us a call.

09:21Is this for real?

09:228-hour lip color

09:23that won't torture my lips.

09:25Endless from L'Oreal.

09:27Comfortable 8-hour lip color.

09:28No touch-ups.

09:29No going dry.

09:31Kiss that torture goodbye.

09:32Endless by L'Oreal Paris.

09:34Because you're worth it.

09:45Hey, free t-shirts.

09:47Go to hersheyshappiness.com

09:48and find one that fits you.

09:50You know when you feel the weight of sadness.

09:53You may feel exhausted, hopeless, and anxious.

09:57Whatever you do, you feel lonely

09:59and don't enjoy the things you once loved.

10:02Things just don't feel like they used to.

10:05These are some symptoms of depression,

10:07a serious medical condition affecting over 20 million Americans.

10:11While the cause is unknown, depression may be related

10:14to an imbalance of natural chemicals between nerve cells in the brain.

10:17Prescription Zoloft works to correct this imbalance.

10:21You just shouldn't have to feel this way anymore.

10:24Only your doctor can diagnose depression.

10:26Zoloft is not for everyone.

10:28People taking MAOIs or Pemazide shouldn't take Zoloft.

10:32Side effects may include dry mouth, insomnia,

10:35sexual side effects, diarrhea, nausea, and sleepiness.

10:38Zoloft is not habit-forming.

10:40Talk to your doctor about Zoloft,

10:42the number one prescribed brand of its kind.

10:45Zoloft.

10:46When you know more about what's wrong,

10:48you can help make it right.

10:50Some shows thrill you.

10:52Some move you.

10:54But one show does it all.

10:56Somebody call me!

10:57Tuesday's most-watched drama,

10:59JAG on CBS.

11:00A baby held hostage.

11:02He's a shotgun!

11:03Heavy up!

11:04He's coming to get that girl!

11:06This is Reality TV.

11:07Listen, how about giving me one person?

11:09I can't do that right now.

11:10Aw, man.

11:11You gotta give me one.

11:12On the brink of a rescue.

11:15Get a baby.

11:16Or disaster.

11:17They're on the ground!

11:1848 Hours Investigates, Wednesday.

11:35We all fall in love.

11:38And we all get colds.

11:40Hopefully not in the same day.

11:42Thank goodness for...

11:43The next issues.

11:45Ultra soft three germ blocking layers

11:46help you share feelings,

11:48not germs.

11:49Mama keeps colors bold and bright,

11:52cause...

11:52Mama's got the magic of Clorox, too.

11:55For stains on colors,

11:56you need Clorox, too.

11:57It removes stains like Clorox bleach does from white.

12:00Mama's got the magic of Clorox, too.

12:06It's a beautiful morning.

12:08This is my favorite time to skate.

12:11I guess it's from all those years of 5AM practices.

12:15But it's also the time when the pain and stiffness of osteoarthritis

12:19can be at their worst.

12:22Ask your doctor about ways to help relieve the pain of osteoarthritis.

12:27Call 1-888-MERC-55 for more information.

12:30Beautiful mornings.

12:34I want, I want it all.

12:36McDonald's Grilled Chicken Flatbread.

12:38It's back.

12:39Toasted flatbread.

12:40Pepper Jack.

12:42Grilled chicken.

12:43It's back.

12:44You want it all?

12:45Then hurry in before it's gone.

12:47I want it all.

12:49He was amazing.

12:50And covered in this thick, dark stuff.

12:52Look! That's it! That's it!

12:54No.

12:55Just add chips.

12:56Chips Ahoy cookie bars.

12:57Stuffed with chocolate cream.

12:59Drenched in fudge.

13:00Unlike anything you've ever experienced.

13:02They're beyond belief.

13:04I'm Horatio Cain, head of CSI Miami.

13:07And before you commit a crime in my city, let me give you a warning.

13:11You will not commit the perfect crime.

13:13You will not think of everything.

13:14You will leave something behind.

13:17And we will find you.

13:19I've got something.

13:20It's a perfect clue.

13:21I've got your first bullet.

13:23We have a winner.

13:23His head hit something.

13:25Or something he just hit.

13:26Talk about your deja vu.

13:27Missing TV's most watched new drama would be a crime.

13:31This is fresh.

13:32CSI Miami.

13:33CBS Monday.

13:36The

13:37The

13:52Introducing Lincoln's newest luxury SUV, the 302-horsepower Aviator, a smaller, spirited

13:58offspring of Navigator.

14:00There are those who travel, and those who travel well.

14:07You try to do right by him, you make time, you build up his confidence, you inspire him

14:16to be healthy, you encourage him to think for himself, and what does it get you?

14:25Hey, anybody want a cigarette?

14:26Two little words you won't be there to hear.

14:28No thanks.

14:30Talk to your kids about not smoking.

14:33They'll listen.

14:35Monday on The Late Show, kid scientists make an impact on Dick.

14:39Plus, Homer Simpson stops by with a special top 10.

14:42Take it away, Homer.

14:43Thank you, Dave.

14:44Monday.

14:45On Survivor, a battle of the sexes is heating up.

14:47I'm burning.

14:48I'm burning.

14:48And getting downright dangerous.

14:50The piranha.

14:51We'll take your finger off.

14:53And the demands of the Amazon are pushing one woman.

14:56I am just breaking, hour by hour.

14:58To the limit.

14:59I'm so tired.

15:01Shut up.

15:02And all new Survivor, CBS Thursday.

15:05Tonight at 11 on KDK TV News.

15:08Live.

15:09Live from Ross Boucher.

15:11Live in Munhock.

15:11Live on the south side.

15:12Local.

15:13Now how does the budget affect you?

15:15Internal Creek tonight, police are investigating.

15:17Breaking news.

15:18We have live team coverage.

15:19Ken Rice.

15:20Patrice King-Brown.

15:22Experienced.

15:22Professional.

15:23Bringing you the day's top stories.

15:25Live in-depth coverage.

15:28The most accurate coverage.

15:29Tonight at 11 on KDK TV News.

15:32The Hometown Advantage.

15:35There are places that I know.

15:39The people they can go.

15:43To play that baby game.

15:46Let's call it out by name.

15:49It's America's Game.

15:51The one and only Powerball.

15:56I'm only gonna tell you one more time.

15:59It's America's Game.

16:02The one and only Powerball.

16:21Sweet.

16:23Tart.

16:25Vibrantly refreshing.

16:27Ruby and new Ruby Lemonade from Ocean Spray.

16:30Let them refresh you.

16:33Ahhhh.

16:33Ocean Spray.

16:46Don't just sit there.

16:48Pop Secret.

16:49Honey Butter.

17:01Home Style.

17:02Don't just sit there.

17:03Pop Secret.

17:04Home Style.

17:05Police tonight are investigating two violent home invasions.

17:08Details at 11.

17:10Journal.

17:11Look for your favorite Star Search performance.

17:13Live, CBS Wednesday.

17:17Oh!

17:18Oh!

17:20Oh!

17:22Oh!

17:23Oh!

17:24Oh!

17:26Oh!

17:27Oh!

17:29Oh!

17:30Coldwell Banker.

17:30At Coldwell Banker.

17:32At Coldwell Banker.

17:32We can't do enough.

17:34At Coldwell Banker.

17:35We'll find you a home.

17:37Help you make it your own.

17:39With agents that sure know their stuff.

17:43Buying or selling, a Coldwell Banker agent is your perfect partner in real estate.

17:47And with our concierge service, we can get you all the help you need to turn your house into a

17:52home.

17:52Coldwell Banker.com

17:55Log on.

17:59One of these women uses Suave Advanced Therapy Lotion.

18:04The other pays more for Lubriderm Advanced Therapy.

18:08Both contain multivitamins and glycerin.

18:12Both moisturize to heal and protect dry skin.

18:15So who uses Suave and who pays three times as much?

18:20If you can't tell, why should we?

18:23Suave.

18:24Don't you look smart?

18:29In case you didn't know, Aleve is the only leading pain reliever that contains the fast-acting form of the

18:35medicine found in prescription naproxen.

18:38Which means people in tough pain may not have to rely on a prescription for relief when just two Aleve

18:44have the strength to stop their pain all day without a prescription.

18:47After all, Aleve's not a prescription.

18:50It's just the next best thing.

18:53Aleve.

18:54All day strong, all day long.

18:56I'm Keith Hernandez.

18:58And I'm Walt Clyde Frazier.

18:59What a marvelous night for the action.

19:01Let's go to the play-by-play.

19:02Oh, there's Mr. Greybeard approaching Miss Hottie.

19:05Oh, no.

19:08Rejected.

19:08Clyde, that's gotta hurt.

19:10Yeah.

19:10No play for Mr. Grey.

19:12Get that man out.

19:13Just for men.

19:14Brush in color gel.

19:15It's specially formulated to penetrate coarse facial hair.

19:18And gets rid of Grey in five easy minutes.

19:21Gets rid of strikeouts, too.

19:24Just for men gel.

19:25The Rejuvenator.

19:27Platoon, Wall Street, pot shots.

19:30Somebody loves Charlie Sheen.

19:33Oh.

19:34Can I run a check for these?

19:35Can I see some ID?

19:36I'm gonna have to call the bank.

19:37Is this gonna take long?

19:38Yes.

19:39How's it going?

19:45This doesn't look like you.

19:47It did when I came in here.

19:49Next time, use the Visa check card instead of checks.

19:51It'll get you in, out, and on with life.

19:53How's it going?

19:57Aha!

19:57Caught you using OxiClean.

19:59May I propose a little switcheroo?

20:01Clorox oxygen action?

20:02Right.

20:03It removes stains like coffee and wine better than OxiClean.

20:06Ta-da!

20:07Those stains are gone!

20:08And so am I.

20:09Ah!

20:09Not with my Clorox oxygen action.

20:11Do you love lots of butter on your popcorn?

20:14We've got good news.

20:16Orville Redenbacher's Ultimate Butter Gourmet Popping Corn.

20:20Tastes so buttery, you'll want to kick back, relax, and start popping today.

20:27The most experienced team of anchors and reporters.

20:31More up-to-the-minute breaking news.

20:33The most live news coverage on the ground and in the air.

20:37The most accurate local forecasting from AccuWeather and StormTracker.

20:41Thanks for making KDKA-TV our area's number one news station.

20:47KDKA's StormTracker with state-of-the-art technology alerts you when severe weather is headed for your neighborhood so you

20:53can be safe.

20:54A KDKA-TV news advantage you only get here.

20:57At Long John Silver's, try our three new fish and shrimp treasure meals.

21:00Like our combo with batter-dipped fish, five delicious shrimp, fries, and a drink just $3.99.

21:05This is Seafood Country.

21:07Poole City's best buy sale.

21:09You'll get huge savings.

21:10Make no payments.

21:10And pay no interest on financing.

21:12For six full months.

21:13On over 20 sets of outdoor casual furniture.

21:15Six high-performance ETS tanning beds.

21:17Like pool tables, bars, and bar stools.

21:20Only at Poole City.

21:381аюсьuffyx constellation.

21:51Fak PUES revitalizing food back in regards to SAF Martyr Oliver's company.

21:52Excuse me.

21:53God.

21:53Don't look.

21:54Well you're wearing a towel.

21:55No!

21:56Don't look at the scale.

21:57Maybe you should be eating Total Cereal!

21:59I eat Sp-E-C-K, thank you.

22:00You know, a study of calcium supplements and reduced-calorie diets suggests you could lose more weight and burn more

22:05fat by adding more calcium to your diet plan.

22:08So?

22:08Only Total has 100% daily value of calcium. Special K is hardly any.

22:12Say no more. I'll take the Total.

22:16You're still here, aren't you?

22:18Yeah, just leaving.

22:19Total. A smart way to lose the weight.

22:22Protesters pack the streets with pit fans. The story at 11.

22:32Don't miss JAG. Tuesday on CBS. It's all here.

22:50There's a place that I travel when I want to roam, and nobody knows it but me.

22:56The roads don't go there, and the signs stay home.

23:00And nobody knows it but me.

23:02It's far, far away, and way, way afar.

23:06It's over the moon and the sea.

23:09And wherever you're going, that's wherever you are.

23:12And nobody knows it but me.

23:16The powerful Chevy Tau, like a rock.

23:20Wake up to Hot Pockets brand breakfast.

23:23Real scrambled eggs, cheese, bacon, or sausage in a crispy, buttery Hot Pockets crust.

23:29Wake up to a hot, hearty breakfast from Hot Pockets.

23:32Find the breakfast flavors next to Hot Pockets.

23:36Nothing takes the fun out of a day home sick like a sore, runny nose.

23:41Thank goodness for Kleenex tissues.

23:44Kleenex lotion tissue is soothing to your sore nose so you can fully enjoy your day of misery.

23:50For families that talk a lot, Singular's got a deal for you.

23:56When you sign up for Singular's Family Talk plan for just $39.99, you get 5,000 night and weekend

24:02minutes to share.

24:03And you can add up to three lines for $19.99 per line per month.

24:07You can also get up to four free phones.

24:10And if your family really talks a lot, you'll be glad to know that you can call each other for

24:14free with unlimited mobile-to-mobile.

24:17Family Talk from Singular Wireless.

24:21Mayfair's strange in the morning light.

24:25Mayfair's strange in a summer night.

24:29Mayfair's strangest in the afternoon.

24:37Yesterday, one of our advisors showed this woman how even if her brother outlives her, she can always be there

24:44for him.

24:50Dry skin is a nasty little problem.

24:53But extra dry skin?

24:56The kind that's tight, itchy, and uncomfortable?

24:59Now that's a big problem.

25:00Fortunately, there's Advanced Therapy from Lubriderm.

25:04It's a really rich and creamy Lubriderm with special nutrients and vitamins.

25:10And that puts the problem of extra dry skin out of sight and out of mind.

25:15Advanced Therapy from Lubriderm.

25:18Later, Gator.

25:21Announcing non-drowsy allergy medicine you can take right when you need it.

25:25It's Alliverd.

25:26New Alliverd starts dissolving the instant it touches your tongue without water.

25:30So Alliverd is non-drowsy relief you can take inside.

25:33Outside.

25:34In your car.

25:36Wherever you are.

25:38Get prescription-strength non-drowsy 24-hour relief.

25:41Even Claritin can't beat.

25:43New quick-dissolving Alliverd.

25:45Allergy medicine you can take right when you need it.

25:47Wherever you are.

25:50What does it take to be a CBS Monday comedy?

25:52Ow!

25:53You gotta be smart.

25:54How about this?

25:55No tie.

25:55Unbuttoned down here like a BJ.

25:57You gotta rock.

25:58I'm being followed by a moonshot.

26:00And most of all...

26:01Do I disgust you?

26:03No, no, no.

26:04Not all the time.

26:05You've got to be funny.

26:06Before you know it, the kids will be all moved out.

26:08Then the whole house becomes clothing optional.

26:10It's TV's best night of comedy.

26:12The King of Queens, yes dear, everybody loves Raymond and still standing.

26:16Plus, Dave's got Kurt Russell on The Late Show.

26:18I told you it's good stuff.

26:19CBS Monday.

26:22The Rhode Island fire killed nearly a hundred,

26:25but we found one thing that could have saved every single life.

26:28Plus, a rare look inside an American unit in Kuwait.

26:32And that's game, ladies.

26:34What did they really think of the war?

26:36Dan Rather found out.

26:3760 Minutes 2, Wednesday at 9, 8 Central.

26:5260 Minutes 2, Wednesday at 9, 8 Central.

27:22Why did Cream Savers Candy want to get together with Jell-O pudding?

27:26Because blending cream with fruit flavor takes pudding to a dreamy place.

27:31Because everyone eventually surrenders to the swirl.

27:34Jell-O Cream Savers Pudding Snacks.

27:36Because it's magic.

27:37Now on DVD and video.

27:39Spy Kids 2, the island of lost dreams.

27:42Where the DVD is the ultimate gadget.

27:44Your spy watch.

27:45They'll do everything but tell you what time it is.

27:47It doesn't tell time.

27:48There was no more room for the clock.

27:49Now on DVD and video.

27:51Rated PG.

27:55I used to worry about money.

27:58Then I got Brown.

28:00Brown helps me figure it all out.

28:02Brown manages my inventory, fills my orders, then ships them to retailers anywhere.

28:07And here's the cool part.

28:08It saves me money.

28:09So I have the cash to keep my business growing and my people stoked.

28:14They're stoked.

28:16Order fulfillment.

28:17Distribution.

28:18One company.

28:20UPS.

28:20What can Brown do for you?

28:22Moving freely makes my spirit soar.

28:26Discover new Flexium.

28:27A unique supplement for joint health.

28:30I feel wonderfully carefree with less stiffness.

28:33Flexium works in two ways.

28:35Only Flexium combines a patented form of SAM-E to help ease pain from everyday activities.

28:41Plus natural building blocks that help renew cartilage.

28:44You can feel results in as little as two weeks.

28:48Feel the Flexium difference in your joints.

28:51Guaranteed.

28:52Prego traditional versus the leading pasta sauce.

28:55In the paperweight contest, both jars did exceptionally well.

29:00But the taste contest was no contest.

29:02As everyone in the family preferred Prego.

29:05Everyone goes for Prego.

29:08Is this for real?

29:09Eight-hour lip color that won't torture my lips.

29:12Endless from L'Oreal.

29:14Comfortable eight-hour lip color.

29:15No touch-ups.

29:16No going dry.

29:17Kiss that torture goodbye.

29:19Endless by L'Oreal Paris.

29:21Because you're worth it.

29:24Years to finding your glass more than half full.

29:29May the light and delicate layers of a Rocher always take you by surprise.

29:35Rocher.

29:35See what unfolds.

29:37I want, I want it all.

29:40McDonald's grilled chicken flatbread.

29:42It's back.

29:42Toasted flatbread.

29:44Pickle check.

29:45Grilled chicken.

29:47It's back.

29:48You want it all?

29:49Then hurry in before it's gone.

29:50I want it all.

29:52And now by the authority investigator.

29:55So young.

29:57Naive.

29:57I bet they don't have a clue.

29:59Or that insurance.

30:01What insurance?

30:03The one that pays you cash if you're sick and can't work.

30:07What one's that?

30:09The news.

30:18Aflans.

30:18Ask about it at work.

30:22CBS Thursday.

30:24Critics call CSI dangerously cool.

30:26A mega hit.

30:27Find out why it's TV's most watched show.

30:29Sometimes we need to see it to believe it.

30:31Don't miss CSI.

30:33Then, there's a girl missing.

30:35Get into the show more people are watching every week.

30:37The sooner we get a profile, the more we're gonna know.

30:39Without a Trace after CSI Thursday.

31:12There are places that I know where people they can go.

31:19To play that baby game.

31:23Let's call it out by name.

31:26It's America's game.

31:28The one and only powerball.

31:33I'm only gonna tell you one more time.

31:36It's America's game.

31:40The one and only powerball.

31:45You know the type.

31:47The Swiss watch.

31:49The French handbag.

31:53The Italian shoes.

31:56The American car.

31:58Chrysler Sebring sedan.

32:00With its precise engineering and sleek contemporary design.

32:03It's the perfect choice for those with an appreciation for imports.

32:08Now, get a $500 auto show bonus on Chrysler Sebring sedan.

32:13Tonight at 11, police search for suspects in two separate violent home invasions.

32:17Plus, tempers are flying high for U.S. Airways pilots after learning the company could cancel their retirement plan.

32:23And rockers have one last jam session.

32:25A tribute to their bandmate.

32:27Killed in a fiery nightclub disaster.

32:28Join us tonight at 11.

32:32Got kid scientists and a special top ten with Homer Simpson Monday.

32:52Asthma can hold you back.

32:54But it doesn't always have to.

32:55Because today there's Advair.

32:58The first and only preventative asthma product to treat the two main components of asthma.

33:02Airway constriction and inflammation.

33:07Advair is clinically proven to significantly increase symptom-free days.

33:11To help you do more of the things you like to do, more of the things you have to do,

33:15and more of what you want to do.

33:17Advair won't replace fast-acting inhalers for sudden symptoms and should not be taken more than twice a day.

33:22People switching from an oral steroid like prednisone to Advair, which contains an inhaled steroid, need to be especially careful.

33:29While adjusting to the switch, your body may not be as able to heal after surgery, infection, or serious injury.

33:34If you have heart or blood pressure problems, tell your doctor.

33:36Some people may experience a change in heart rhythm.

33:39See your doctor if your asthma does not improve.

33:42Go.

33:45Talk to your doctor to see if Advair is right for you.

33:48Go.

33:50Well, my hair is dry, but mostly it's dry and color-treated, or maybe it's dry because it's color-treated.

33:55It fries it if you don't take good care of it.

33:57I used to, because I have dry, color-treated hair.

33:59All dry hair needs a lot of moisture.

34:01You don't want to have hay heads.

34:02I want to moisturize it without weighing it down.

34:04When your hair's conditioned, it helps the color, it helps the shine.

34:07So I want to keep touching it.

34:08How about that?

34:08Hold on, I gotta stop grinning.

34:11I'm like a prism.

34:12The color bounces off my hair.

34:13The Dove shampoo and conditioner works.

34:15I feel like I'm one of the hair models.

34:49Honey, have you seen my Lean Pockets?

34:52Lean Pockets?

34:53Really crispy.

34:54Now with a tastier, crispier crust.

34:55Still only seven grams of fat.

34:57Uh, no, dear.

34:58I haven't seen your Lean Pockets anywhere.

35:01Really?

35:01Lean Pockets brand new, tastier, crispier crust.

35:05The only thing worse than being cooped up with a bad cold is having a roommate who isn't.

35:11Thank goodness for Kleenex tissues.

35:15Nothing is more soothing than Kleenex lotion tissues.

35:18Well, almost nothing.

35:19Star Search brings you the top talents in the country.

35:22My star!

35:23But it's your vote that could make them a superstar.

35:25Don't you know?

35:26Kick Star Search, live, CBS Wednesday.

35:30Holy reunion movie.

35:31Great Caesar's ghost.

35:33Adam West and Burt Moore together again.

35:36Holy punishment, Adam.

35:40Flashback to the original Batman TV show.

35:42It's so strange about two guys who run around in tights and live together.

35:46And find out what went on...

35:48Since Adam has a stuntman, shouldn't I have one?

35:50Whoa!

35:51...when the costumes came off.

35:53Has anybody seen my bad suit?

35:55Oh, life is good, Mark.

35:57Return to the Batcave, CBS, next Sunday.

36:00Hey, Fred.

36:01Hey, Nancy.

36:01Can I help you find anything?

36:02Huh?

36:03No, I'm good.

36:04Hi, Sue.

36:05Oh, hey.

36:06Sure you got enough room in that cart?

36:07She's got everything she needs to cook a homemade meal, including the chicken.

36:10Mommy, can I sit in her cart?

36:13Introducing Betty Crocker Complete Meals.

36:15All the best ingredients like flaky biscuits, steaming vegetables, creamy sauces, even juicy

36:20chunks of chicken in one box, ready to bake in five minutes.

36:23Do you handle this?

36:24Yeah, I do.

36:26Thanks.

36:27New Betty Crocker Complete Meals.

36:29Make every day homemade.

36:30Now you can open your home to the beauty of the great outdoors indoors with a beautiful

36:35spacious sunroom or solarium from Patio Enclosures Incorporated.

36:39We're sunroom specialists and we'll custom manufacture to size, at no additional cost, a sunroom to

36:44fit your home and budget.

36:46Call Patio Enclosures Incorporated today to take advantage of our low, pre-season sale prices.

36:51Someone near you knows the one and only Patio Enclosures.

37:00Get the best values in America from Dodge.

37:03Take our best products like Dodge Ram Heavy Duty, the 250 horsepower Intrepid SXT, the

37:09best-selling minivan ever, and the VA-powered Durango.

37:12Plus our best warranty, Dodge's fully transferable 770 powertrain limited warranty.

37:17Plus our best deals, like up to a $4,500 cash allowance or 0% financing on most models.

37:23Add it all up and it equals the best values in America.

37:25See your Dodge dealer or visit Dodge.com.

37:28Hit it!

37:30Police tonight are investigating two violent home invasions.

37:33The tale's at 11.

37:41Tuesday, the shocking conclusion of Salem Witch Trials.

37:45We shall all be hung because of you!

37:48As the madness spreads through Salem.

37:50You are convicted of witchcraft!

37:52Yes!

37:53Some will find the courage.

37:55You have infected this village with fear.

37:57Others will pay the price.

37:59They have cried out against you.

38:01Kirstie Alley.

38:02Who will forgive us?

38:04Shirley MacLaine.

38:06Show me hope.

38:07No!

38:08Salem Witch Trials.

38:10CBS Tuesday.

38:11Hundreds of protesters pack the streets of Pittsburgh and it almost lands them in jail.

38:15Plus a bitterly cold night.

38:16Details in your Accurator Forecast tonight at 11.

38:23When dry, itchy skin is unbearable, where do you go for relief?

38:28Introducing Lanocaine Body Lotion.

38:30So effective it's in the itch care aisle.

38:32It's medicated to relieve the cause of dry, itchy skin.

38:36Combined with skin-soothing vitamins, this is the Lanocaine for all over the body.

38:41It helps heal itch-causing dryness, bringing relief that lasts and lasts, even through a long winter's nap.

38:47Lanocaine Body Lotion.

38:49So effective it's in the itch care aisle.

38:59I'm Horatio Cain, head of CSI Miami.

39:02And before you commit a crime in my city, let me give you a warning.

39:06You will not commit the perfect crime.

39:08You will not think of everything.

39:09You will leave something behind.

39:12And we will find you.

39:14I've got something.

39:15It's a perfect clue.

39:16I've got your first bullet.

39:17We have a winner.

39:18His head hit something.

39:20Or something hit his head.

39:21Talk about your deja vu.

39:22Missing TV's most watched new drama would be a crime.

39:25This is fresh.

39:27CSI Miami, CS Monday.

39:29Monday on The Late Show, Dave's got kid scientist Kurt Russell and a Homer Simpson top ten.

39:33And later this week, catch George Clooney, Stupid Patricks, and Dr. Phil.

39:37Monday, now your local news.

39:42Now, KDK TV News at 11.

39:46We begin tonight with breaking news from Mercer County.

39:49A tractor trailer hauling chemicals along interstate...

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