00:00Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the single worst motivational speech from a team captain
00:08in the history of sports in this country, which dates all the way back, as you know, Tyrone,
00:14to 1775, when we used to throw popcorn at each other for games.
00:19And now here we are, 250 years later, and we have the single worst captain speech
00:24by an athlete in the history of this country.
00:26Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the boring, the bland, the melbatos-eating Aaron Judge.
00:35Sacrifice for your family at all.
00:37You sacrifice for your country.
00:39And, you know, sacrifice for the brothers in the trenches with you every single day.
00:44And that's one thing I want us to do, fellas.
00:46You know, we're down, we're beat up a little bit, man.
00:48You know, we get it to each other, man.
00:50We're going to lay it high on the line.
00:51If we do that, we're going to bring it both out.
00:54It's all we need.
00:57Hey, Craig, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up.
00:59Is it over?
01:00Yeah, it's just said.
01:00Is it done?
01:01Yeah, it's just said.
01:01Like, if that's a speech that's supposed to rally the American troops, in this case, baseball players,
01:07if that's a speech that you know you're being filmed doing, it's supposed to make guys like me, you know,
01:14rah-rah,
01:15let's go get them, America.
01:17The World Baseball Classic starts tomorrow.
01:19I'm sorry, man.
01:21That did not get the job done.
01:23It didn't.
01:24It was a bad speech.
01:26You think?
01:26Now, why is he automatically, he shouldn't be the captain.
01:30You know who should be the captain because it's a person I know can make a speech.
01:33Tell me, somebody.
01:34Kyle Swarbrick knows how to make a speech.
01:35Yeah, but he's a better player.
01:37Doesn't matter.
01:37Aaron Judge is the best player on Team USA.
01:39Right, okay.
01:40Okay.
01:40Then make Bryce Harper the captain, another guy who can actually give a speech.
01:44Okay?
01:45And yes, he's better, but it's not that big of a gap.
01:47Bryce Harper gives good speeches when he's yelling at reporters for covering the team in a matter he don't like.
01:51That's not true.
01:52That's the only time he says anything fiery.
01:54No, no.
01:54Or if he's mad at Angel Hernandez at third base for calling a bad striking ball.
01:58You don't put it.
01:59I don't think it's a rule that the best player automatically has to be the captain, and especially when it
02:04sounds like that.
02:05Yeah, well, gee, he shouldn't be the captain.
02:07Kyle Swarbrick should be the captain.
02:08He's the best player.
02:09No one's going to dispute that.
02:11He's the face of USA baseball for this moment in time.
02:14Yeah, for sure.
02:14But, man, like I'm sitting back.
02:17I want a captain to make my blood start going.
02:19I want a captain that makes me jump about him.
02:21I think he goes, where's the enemy, captain?
02:24I'm willing to hit a grand slam right now.
02:26And I don't even hit grand slams.
02:28Yeah.
02:28Right?
02:28But, I mean, Aaron Judge, dude, that's got to be the worst speech in the history of speeches.
02:34Like, could you imagine for a second if Aaron Judge was, oh, I don't know, George Washington?
02:41Okay.
02:42And the British are coming, the British are coming.
02:45Yeah.
02:45And G-Dub's got to give a speech to make the American or the colony troops get on that boat
02:51and go those eight feet across the river.
02:54Nothing, yeah.
02:54In five-degree weather.
02:56It's so easy.
02:56In a snowstorm.
02:57Right.
02:58But, if that's Aaron Judge, you'd have some colony troops going, not tonight, G-Dub.
03:03A little out of front.
03:04It's cold outside.
03:05One more step.
03:06It's cold outside.
03:07You could.
03:08I don't want to go.
03:08By the way, if I want to go across the river, I could walk across it right now.
03:12I need to get on that boat for the picture.
03:13I need to get on that boat for the river.
03:13I need to get on that boat for the river.
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