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00:00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:41CastingWords
00:01:28CastingWords
00:01:43CastingWords
00:01:58CastingWords
00:02:28CastingWords
00:02:29With some brand.
00:02:31Gabriel, your little festival, it's a low-rent nightmare.
00:02:34Whatever bullshit you've done to get this accredited by the Academy, it's a win here.
00:02:38Honestly, I don't want to be part of it when it all goes tits up.
00:02:41It's all showbiz, Will.
00:02:43And you are one of the greats. This is an opportunity that should be grabbed with both hands.
00:02:47Gabriel, please, please don't bullshit me.
00:02:50Put on a show, Will.
00:02:53Razzle dazzle them.
00:02:55It will be you that they'll remember.
00:02:56I don't want to present an award to a shit Tarantino wannabe, Tug Speedman.
00:03:01Truth is stranger than fiction, Will.
00:03:03Look, why don't you stay, listen to the key speaker talk, and then see how you feel.
00:03:10Do you know what?
00:03:11I don't feel well, Gabriel.
00:03:14It's funny, isn't it?
00:03:15If you've got a tractor, you're a farmer.
00:03:17If you don't, you're just a gardener.
00:03:19Do you know what? I am not sitting here listening to that.
00:03:25Gabriel?
00:03:27Are you alright?
00:03:29Oh...
00:03:39Oh
00:04:02Hello
00:04:10Hello Giggles
00:04:11Didn't know we were going to be a threesome tonight
00:04:13What's the point in having a phone if you don't read your messages?
00:04:17Oh shit sorry no I've been avoiding my dad all day so
00:04:21Urgh phone
00:04:23I'm breaking up with you
00:04:26Okay
00:04:26It's not you
00:04:28It's your dad
00:04:31Eh?
00:04:32Not in that way
00:04:33Just the way he controls everything you do
00:04:39I'm waiting for the punchline here but I'm sensing it's not coming
00:04:44Look my dad is just my dad like I'm my own boss
00:04:51Okay that is five unread messages which I'm not going to read
00:04:57I'm with Giggles
00:04:58Caroline
00:05:01I thought we were going to make a movie together
00:05:04I think we're both done with that
00:05:06You know you know what I think I'm just gonna
00:05:25Oh God sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
00:05:27No
00:05:29No
00:05:39Yeah
00:05:41No
00:05:43No
00:05:43No
00:05:45No
00:05:54Threesome
00:05:55That
00:05:55Dad, where have you been? He's having a heart attack.
00:05:59Will the farmer? And a cow jumped over the moon.
00:06:03No, Dad, I've...
00:06:04Gabriel, everything's going to be okay. Alan's here now.
00:06:08Listen to me, son.
00:06:11Do you want to make it in his business or fold shirts at the Chinese laundromat?
00:06:15Pledge.
00:06:16How sure are we that this was a heart attack?
00:06:20Shit, no, the film festival.
00:06:22The film festival goes ahead.
00:06:26You're in charge.
00:06:27Gabriel, talk about this at the hospital. Where is this ambulance?
00:06:30Ambulance is on the way.
00:06:31No, Dad, Dad, cancel the film festival.
00:06:34Alan, I am not willing to donate a kidney,
00:06:38but I am willing to watch you die slowly if you're looking for that kind of thing.
00:06:42Huh.
00:06:45Any idea what you're going to do?
00:06:47No, no, Will, I don't.
00:06:48Well, good luck with everything.
00:06:51Will the farmer to present best picture?
00:07:04The end of the movie.
00:07:05Did you wake up?
00:07:14I'm a little bitch.
00:07:15And let me say goodbye.
00:07:18I got a beer.
00:07:19I'm a little bitch.
00:07:20I got a beer.
00:07:22I'm a little bitch.
00:07:25Be somebody I'm not
00:07:29Standing in my shoes
00:07:32I got this feeling that I'm always gonna lose
00:07:36I guess I know someday I'm gonna have to choose
00:07:41Cause I don't wanna hide away
00:07:44Yeah, yeah
00:07:46Somebody I'm not
00:07:49I don't wanna be somebody I'm not
00:07:54Standing in my shoes
00:07:56Someone I'm not
00:07:58Cause I don't wanna be somebody I'm not
00:08:04Standing in the light
00:08:06I never know when it's gonna be my time
00:08:10I got some margins I really wanna shine
00:08:15Cause I don't wanna hide away
00:08:18Yeah, yeah
00:08:21Somebody I'm not
00:08:24I don't wanna be somebody I'm not
00:08:28Standing in the shoes of someone I'm not
00:08:32Cause I don't wanna be somebody I'm not
00:08:37So it goes
00:08:42Seems like I'm running blind
00:08:47But oh, you know
00:08:52It's like I'm stuck
00:08:55I don't wanna be somebody I'm not
00:09:23Standing in the shoes of somebody I'm not
00:09:28You know, I think I'm gonna faint if we don't eat soon
00:09:33There's a Costa Starbucks back at the station
00:09:36I can get those anywhere
00:09:38There, I need authentic Edinburghan food
00:09:42I don't know if it's an actual word
00:09:44But it is now anyway
00:09:47Um, there's a greasy spoon three blocks from here
00:09:52Authentic Scottish cafe it says
00:09:54Perfect word
00:09:55I'm gonna use it in a sentence
00:09:57I just did
00:10:05Where are all these Scottish brutes have been told about?
00:10:09You're gonna cop a flower pot if you don't move them trotters
00:10:15At her butt
00:10:17Oh my god
00:10:26Are you sure?
00:10:28Of course
00:10:29He's got no reason to lie, I sure
00:10:31Can we go home then?
00:10:33Alan's sorting it out
00:10:35That can't be good
00:10:42Come on
00:10:53How's it going?
00:10:55A few technical issues
00:10:56But then again, it's an old laptop
00:10:58So I probably need some replacing
00:11:00She means your dad, Alan
00:11:01Oh god
00:11:02Um
00:11:03Yeah, better, I think
00:11:06He left me a three-page text message this morning
00:11:08That he signed off with
00:11:09And don't mess this up
00:11:12So it's safe to say he's back the farm on this first door
00:11:16That'll be fine
00:11:19See, he's working
00:11:21And gone again
00:11:22Mm-hmm
00:11:27He's fucked
00:11:33Will
00:11:35Gabriel's on the mend, that's good
00:11:36Will, I still need a key speaker
00:11:38Please check out time for me
00:11:40No, Will, please
00:11:41I'll give you anything, okay?
00:11:42I have a kidney you can have
00:11:43It's barely been used
00:11:45When you get chased by a pack of taxidermists
00:11:48Don't play dead
00:12:06Er, is there no one here to meet us?
00:12:08It's fine, we'll just grab a taxi
00:12:10Sorry
00:12:11Did you not order car service?
00:12:13Oh, I'm sorry
00:12:14I'll just bung it on my credit card, shall I?
00:12:17There's no budget for this trip
00:12:22Seriously
00:12:31Good news or bad?
00:12:32My father would say this is a challenge
00:12:35So bad then?
00:12:36Yeah, it's not good
00:12:36One of my key speakers has pulled out
00:12:38He's got the flu
00:12:39One of the criteria for qualifying for an Academy Award
00:12:42Is you must provide at least two key speakers to tell you movies are good
00:12:49Alright, okay, it's fine
00:12:50Just breathe
00:12:53That's it
00:12:54I'm not the first guy to have a panic attack on us
00:12:57Look, if my dad doesn't kill me, Tug Speedman will
00:13:00Gods was a good movie
00:13:01The ending wasn't much so
00:13:03No!
00:13:04His father is paying for the festival
00:13:06You know this isn't your fault, right?
00:13:08Yes, but my dad can make it my fault
00:13:10Right, first things last
00:13:12What's the key speaker?
00:13:14Oh, I don't know
00:13:15It's got to be an actor or a celebrity
00:13:17Someone who can talk about their experience making movies with the other filmmakers
00:13:27Rachel
00:13:28Oh shit, yeah, Rachel Warren
00:13:30Who is Rachel Warren?
00:13:33Rachel
00:13:33Rachel
00:13:34Rachel
00:13:35She did that stupid werewolf movie with Jess
00:13:38It's in the festival
00:13:39Can you get her?
00:13:41Yeah, I know her well
00:13:42She'd love to come and be your celebrity
00:13:49You have no idea where we're going
00:13:52Yes, I do
00:13:59It's this way, come on
00:14:02We made a movie about Chinese families in the 18th century
00:14:06Stories about mothers and daughters
00:14:11This country makes no sense
00:14:20It's like that
00:14:21You can't get married
00:14:22We need to leave
00:14:23You haven't got anything
00:14:26I'm a bitch
00:14:27I'm a bitch
00:14:48Hey, remember what we spoke about?
00:14:51Yeah, yeah, dad.
00:14:53No danger.
00:14:55Hi, we're Ashraf and...
00:14:58Millie.
00:14:59I thought we was going home with Millicent.
00:15:02We made Milicious Incent.
00:15:09Do I think we can win?
00:15:11Fuck yeah.
00:15:13Right, babe?
00:15:14Well, forget winning.
00:15:16I mean, I'm just here for the fit guys with their sexy Scottish brogue.
00:15:21I mean, I haven't met any just yet, but I did spot this guy.
00:15:24He looked a little bit like Chris Hemsworth on the plane.
00:15:26You know, the guy from Thor.
00:15:28I mean, given the chance, I didn't.
00:15:29I was Thor.
00:15:32You do know I'm not one of your pals, don't you?
00:15:35You know I can't just unhear this stuff.
00:15:38Oh, well.
00:15:41Not really hungry.
00:15:44Nominations for Best Actress are...
00:15:47Fran Whittaker for Hey, Mr. DJ.
00:15:59I can explain.
00:16:01I want you to leave.
00:16:04Out of my house.
00:16:13What's black pudding?
00:16:15It spoke of beef blood mixed with oatmeal and fried.
00:16:18Are we in the same country?
00:16:21No, we're in Scotland.
00:16:24Esme Presley, poor gods of Shoreditch.
00:16:26Your sword skills do you a disservice, sir.
00:16:29The seal calls to you.
00:16:32But it is lying.
00:16:33That may be so.
00:16:35The seal is our portal to the future.
00:16:37It is the devil's work.
00:16:40Then the devil does spine work.
00:16:42How are the nominations?
00:16:43Oh, yeah.
00:16:44It's in the back.
00:16:58Hi, guys.
00:16:59We're the Kidnap Gang, and we do kidnap pranks.
00:17:03This is my partner, Darren.
00:17:05Hello, hello.
00:17:06Now, obviously, we've entered two films into the festivals, which doubles our chances of
00:17:11winning something.
00:17:14But, look, I've got to warn you, when we're about, there's always some fuckery afoot.
00:17:19Idiots.
00:17:19It's both my dad and my uncle.
00:17:22Well, Gabriel, the guy who runs the festival, he invited us along.
00:17:25He thought we'd be some good entertainment.
00:17:42Joking, we got her.
00:17:43You didn't.
00:17:43She said she'll do it.
00:17:45Thanks, little madam.
00:17:46Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you so much.
00:17:49Sorry, I'm not really a hugger, but you know what I mean.
00:17:51She said she'd like working with me, and the movie's nominated in the festival.
00:17:55You'll cover travel and bar bill.
00:17:57Yeah, bar bill?
00:17:58Yes, but don't worry about that now.
00:18:00You have a speaker.
00:18:02Hey, is this an exclusive party, or can anybody join in?
00:18:05Tug, you're here!
00:18:07Alert the paparazzi.
00:18:08That's good, that's good, these dudes.
00:18:10No, seriously.
00:18:11Alert the paparazzi.
00:18:12Your dad has press at the awards.
00:18:16How are you?
00:18:17Jade.
00:18:18And what movie are you with?
00:18:19Sex.
00:18:20Hmm.
00:18:21Well, your film sounds interesting, and equally your name.
00:18:26Both subjects I'd love to learn more about.
00:18:30Tug Speedman.
00:18:32Actor, writer, filmmaker.
00:18:34Triple tread.
00:18:36Pow!
00:18:36Tug, have you checked in yet?
00:18:38It's actually just this way.
00:18:39I'll just show you where it is.
00:18:40I want that review.
00:18:49Listen, man.
00:18:51I didn't want to say anything in there.
00:18:53I didn't want to embarrass you.
00:18:55There was no one there to meet us at the airport.
00:18:57Oh, I didn't know we were...
00:19:00You know what?
00:19:00Technical issues.
00:19:03Get it together, man.
00:19:05You do realise what a big deal this is.
00:19:07To have me and my movie playing exclusively at your festival.
00:19:12Of course.
00:19:14I thought I played in Ireland.
00:19:17That wasn't a film festival.
00:19:18That was a tent with a projector.
00:19:21Right.
00:19:22No, this...
00:19:23This is the one we've been waiting for.
00:19:27Academy qualifying.
00:19:29You do realise this is going to be huge for my movie.
00:19:32And for your festivals.
00:19:36Yes, I'll get it together.
00:19:44We're in room 175.
00:19:47Esme Presley.
00:19:49That's my name.
00:19:50Don't wear it out.
00:19:55Don't mess this up.
00:19:57Right.
00:20:01Please, let me help you with your bag.
00:20:03I'd be much obliged.
00:20:05He likes people to think I'm his assistant.
00:20:07Yeah, he's certainly a character with a small C.
00:20:11No, he's definitely something with a small C.
00:20:14Ha!
00:20:22We're going to need to separate these.
00:20:25Oh, like a twin room.
00:20:28Don't get me started.
00:20:30Todd likes his space to sleep.
00:20:32Proper diva.
00:20:36You can put that down.
00:20:38Oh, God.
00:20:39Yeah, sorry.
00:20:41Is there a turndown service or do I tip?
00:20:45Oh, no, no.
00:20:45I'm just helping.
00:20:48Just a thanks, then.
00:20:51Instant coffee.
00:20:52I liked your movie.
00:20:55Well, no, I liked your role in it.
00:21:00It's okay.
00:21:01You can say it's crap.
00:21:02It is.
00:21:02No, no, it's not crap.
00:21:03It's just...
00:21:04It's unusual.
00:21:05It's time-travelling gangsters.
00:21:09But it's up for Best Picture and it's probably going to get the Oscar qualifying spot.
00:21:12So what do I know?
00:21:14Alan.
00:21:15That's your name, right?
00:21:16The festival director's son.
00:21:19Tug Speedman's a hack.
00:21:20And worse, a hack with a father with money.
00:21:23The writer's inspiration for Gods of Shoreditch was a story with strong female characters
00:21:28who brought about the end of the world of men.
00:21:30Instead, Tug turned a brilliant script into a wannabe gangster action movie.
00:21:36With so much nudity, it could have been set in ancient Rome.
00:21:40Oh, I mean, I thought that it was...
00:21:42Sorry, darling.
00:21:42Body doubles for those scenes.
00:21:44Oh, no, no, I wasn't being weird.
00:21:46I was just...
00:21:46Alan, it's fine.
00:21:47I limit who sees me naked, including Tug.
00:21:51Oh, you thought...
00:21:54Alan, no.
00:21:55Hasn't been like that for a very long time.
00:21:58Tug, I imagine, is currently down in the bar, flirting with any tart.
00:22:01Unlucky enough to be with an earshot.
00:22:10I know his father paid for the movie to win, and I'm fine with it.
00:22:14Oh.
00:22:16Alan?
00:22:18Yes?
00:22:19Do you want a coffee?
00:22:25That's my dad.
00:22:27I should...
00:22:28I didn't see him outside something, okay?
00:22:32Complicated, but...
00:22:33Yeah.
00:22:59Hello, Alan.
00:23:03You all right?
00:23:04Um, yeah, all good.
00:23:06Um, the abduce case is here.
00:23:08Okay.
00:23:14Yes, we made a movie called Sex.
00:23:27At first, there was nothing.
00:23:30Then, there was woman.
00:23:45So, the role of the woman is the sole provider, the one given the pain is the only one that
00:23:50can take it away.
00:23:50My role is to assist of clients, but I'm also an actress.
00:23:55Oh, not again with that stupid werewolf movie with Rachel.
00:23:59Rachel was amazing to work with, and you too, but both equally.
00:24:07Yeah, of course.
00:24:09Do you know what, whatever, I don't care.
00:24:10Anyway.
00:24:11Can somebody take this off, please?
00:24:24You have 12 finalists in your festival this year?
00:24:28Yes, they are the final 12.
00:24:31The opening ceremony is tonight, and there will be a party.
00:24:36Not quite a party person.
00:24:40Each film has been individually assessed and announced within the required time period?
00:24:46Yes.
00:24:47No formal queries from the other candidates, and my father has done all of the assessments.
00:24:54Your father?
00:24:55Yes.
00:24:57Spoke to him many times.
00:24:59On the phone.
00:25:00Never met.
00:25:02Where is he?
00:25:05Currently sorting out something or other.
00:25:08You know what these crazy filmmakers are like.
00:25:13No!
00:25:14What?
00:25:21I'm absolutely mortified.
00:25:23I didn't mind, really.
00:25:25It was kind of fun.
00:25:26A bunch of kids, them too, honestly.
00:25:36Very amusing.
00:25:38My preference is to sit near the back and on the aisle for each showing.
00:25:45Yes, we can accommodate that.
00:25:48Your father is the signatory for the festival.
00:25:51Have him speak to me at his earliest convenience.
00:25:54Of course.
00:25:55No problem.
00:25:57Would you excuse me?
00:25:58I need to go and sort out a thing.
00:26:01Tony?
00:26:02No.
00:26:03No.
00:26:16No.
00:26:38Now, good morning to you.
00:26:42Lead an actress.
00:26:44Yes, I am.
00:26:46Well...
00:26:46No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:26:48You have certainly got the look.
00:26:50As if. He's like some old guy.
00:26:54You play your cards right.
00:26:56I might just let you audition for me sometime.
00:26:59So, obviously, networking is the best part of these events.
00:27:03Before Tug realises I'm a tease,
00:27:06his next movie will already be out, starring me.
00:27:13Thought you might be hungry.
00:27:16But the breakfasts are meant to be for the film contestants.
00:27:20But yeah, they're not gonna miss it, are they?
00:27:23The adjudicated by your story?
00:27:24Mm-hmm.
00:27:26Jade.
00:27:27Ah.
00:27:27How is your father doing?
00:27:28I'm still in the hospital and I think, I think, Tug Speedman might just kill me when he finds out.
00:27:34So have you.
00:27:36I always wanted to be an actress, then.
00:27:38Come on, move along, Romeo.
00:27:40There's a cue, eh?
00:27:42I'll talk to you later.
00:27:47You seem to be doing okay so far. Just a few more days.
00:27:51Tug will be happy once he gets his coveted Academy place.
00:27:54Do you like working with him?
00:27:55You don't work with Tug. You experience the carnage he leaves in his wake.
00:28:00You get used to the crazy after a few years.
00:28:02Yeah, I was gonna pitch my film to him.
00:28:04The God Particle?
00:28:06Yeah, I optioned the third book, but I tell you what,
00:28:09an award-nominated actress would look great on the cast list.
00:28:12This is a shit business, Alan.
00:28:14You can do your best performance and some hack director fumbles the ball in the edit.
00:28:19Hey, no, your character Joe Marsh in Gods of Shoreditch was amazing.
00:28:22Tets and Ars don't make a movie.
00:28:24At least my body double had a good bum.
00:28:30The God Particle is a black ops super-soldier
00:28:35who seeks vengeance after they have been betrayed on a mission gone terribly wrong.
00:28:39Good pitch.
00:28:41Yeah, but without Esme Presley in it, it's just another silly spy adventure.
00:28:48Actually, can you just give me a full second, please?
00:28:53Alan! My man! How are we?
00:28:55Right, are we all set for my screening?
00:28:57Yes, of course, um...
00:28:59Emmett? Emmett, yes.
00:29:00Yes, no, it's only because I heard there were some, like, technical issues.
00:29:03Who told you that?
00:29:04No, never mind. No, everything's fine. We're good to go.
00:29:07Perfect.
00:29:07So, yeah, we made a horror movie.
00:29:10Yes, I play a maid.
00:29:12Don't you play a maid in Jade's movie, too?
00:29:14Typecasting is a good thing.
00:29:16Did you actually watch the movies? Have you seen mine?
00:29:18It's got Rachel in it.
00:29:19Uh, no, my dad watches the films. It's more his thing.
00:29:21Of course.
00:29:22Hi!
00:29:23Hey.
00:29:24Um, the breakfasts are actually just for the film candidates, so, uh...
00:29:28I appreciate it.
00:29:29Yeah. Yeah, no, so that means...
00:29:32Sorry.
00:29:34But what if I was a film contestant?
00:29:39Okay, okay, look. If you want to go, like, just, like, wait in the lobby, and wait till they're all
00:29:44gone, I'll come give you a shout, and...
00:29:46How'd they prompt the application form from the library? That was a nightmare while I had inked. So, like, sorry.
00:29:51I ain't taking the blame for that.
00:29:53Hang on, you've made a movie?
00:29:54Sure. Just like all the cats up in this geth. It's a personal story. A flick about lovin' on the
00:30:00streets.
00:30:01Mic in your face.
00:30:03Huh. That's, that, that's actually really impressive. I'm not sure how you'd do that.
00:30:08Check it. Shot on a phone. Edited at a library. The equipment was 90s. But it's all good.
00:30:15Uh, well, that, that is all good, but, um, the applications closed, uh, two months ago now, so...
00:30:23Understands completely. But listen here, I ain't interested in what you're selling. For me, this is a golden opportunity of
00:30:29honest food and a bed for the night.
00:30:32Please, I, I, I really don't know how else to say this, but all of the final films have been
00:30:38announced. We can't add this.
00:30:41That's how it is.
00:30:43Sorry, what's your name?
00:30:45Mike. Iron Mike.
00:30:47Wow. Intimidating name.
00:30:49It's cause where I'm bedding down. I have, like, three iron baths tied together. So, Iron Mike.
00:30:54Makes perfect sense. Listen, Alan's gonna take your application because he's good at problem solving
00:31:00and he very much wants to impress me.
00:31:04Oh, I'm sorry. I was thinking...
00:31:05What, what's that?
00:31:07Simple. You did a very kind thing for a homeless man and it did impress me.
00:31:11Okay, yeah, that is very nice, but all the films have already been announced, Esme.
00:31:14I don't think he cares.
00:31:17Morning.
00:31:18Oh, shit. I, I mean, morning!
00:31:21Your father down for breakfast?
00:31:23Uh, you know, he was, but he's an early riser, so you know how it is.
00:31:27We're just going to meet him now.
00:31:29The signatory is a very important part of the process.
00:31:33Yes, of course.
00:31:41I played Lord Harrington of Morta.
00:31:48Beast must die.
00:31:52Whatever you think's best.
00:31:58I'm now unarmed.
00:32:01I'll prevent you from doing your duty.
00:32:06Maybe she should kill us both.
00:32:10You've been bitten, mistress.
00:32:16The wolf...
00:32:20...courses through my veins.
00:32:23Run!
00:32:27So, yeah, it's a movie with a werewolf in it.
00:32:31His sister hates that we're together...
00:32:34...in the movie.
00:32:36Look, I spent a lot of time and energy into this ending.
00:32:41And trust me, once people see what we've done here...
00:32:45...it's best film winners might.
00:32:47Ours.
00:32:49And everyone that was in the movie.
00:32:53That was the one of heres.
00:33:00Rejo целous.
00:33:07But you believe I willidian trials at the moment and says...
00:33:08kissed theignal Mountains of the house on Europe.
00:33:16To make every story anytime I showed up was told,
00:33:29Agnes I just
00:33:30I'm sorry for frightening you Lady Harrington
00:33:37Callum
00:33:39Go back to the house
00:33:41Elizabeth
00:33:45Now
00:34:09No, no, not now
00:34:12Everyone look into the
00:34:14God
00:34:19God damn it
00:34:21No one saw the ending
00:34:37It was just an utter shit show
00:34:41I was pretty awesome as the maid
00:34:53Are you okay?
00:35:05Are you fucking kidding me?
00:35:08Did you just leave and come back so you could do that?
00:35:11Take some water
00:35:12Fuck water
00:35:14I want some fucking cocaine
00:35:17Oh fuck
00:35:18Just call my fucking sponsor
00:35:23You
00:35:25Is your pathetic father gonna make it or not?
00:35:28Tell me
00:35:28I don't know but I'm obviously hoping
00:35:31It's not his fault
00:35:33It's not his fault
00:35:35Of course you knew
00:35:38Everybody knows except poor old Tug
00:35:41It wasn't like that
00:35:42Look as long as the adjudicator doesn't find out we're fine
00:35:45We're fine
00:35:48Yeah we're fine
00:35:50Yeah we're fine
00:35:51Until he visits
00:35:52Your poor little feeble dad
00:35:54On his fucking deathbed
00:35:56Tug his father's still alive
00:35:58Take that back
00:35:59I'll tell you one thing boy
00:36:01He's not gonna be alive
00:36:02When my dad gets his hands on him
00:36:04Or if you
00:36:05Make this
00:36:06Go catch up
00:36:11Yeah
00:36:13I'm going to the bar
00:36:15Fuck my sponsor
00:36:36Really?
00:36:38I thought you had to call your sponsor
00:36:42I didn't drink it
00:36:43But you thought about it
00:36:46And you promised
00:36:49Go away Esme
00:36:51I'm not cleaning up after you again
00:36:55Well do you know what mum
00:36:57Do you know what I'm gonna get you for Christmas?
00:36:59A nice big wooden cross
00:37:02So next time you feel
00:37:04Unappreciated for all your sacrifices
00:37:07You can climb on up there
00:37:08And nail yourself to it
00:37:17Lucas
00:37:26What are you?
00:37:28What are you?
00:37:29What are you?
00:37:45The adjudicator of course
00:37:47He picks the winner
00:37:52That is not correct
00:37:54He's just an official
00:37:56Gabriel choose the winner
00:37:57I know Alan
00:37:59And I hope we have made a big impression on him
00:38:02And his father Gabriel
00:38:04We do rap movie next
00:38:25There was a lot of nudity in Gods
00:38:29Yes well nudity was very important in our story of Gods of Shortage
00:38:34But some were more comfortable than others
00:38:38I think sometimes nudity is considered controversial in some cultures
00:38:44Because it challenges the standards of modesty
00:38:49Yes exactly
00:38:50Nudity is a state of mind
00:38:52I'll happily wander around the house all day with no clothes on
00:38:56Just let it all hang out
00:38:57Feel that breeze
00:39:00It's quite liberating
00:39:03Would I be shallow if I said size doesn't matter?
00:39:11It's perfectly adequate
00:39:17Is it true that it's all a farce?
00:39:21I don't really know
00:39:23Well you seem very close with Alan
00:39:25You must have told us something
00:39:27This is starting to feel like an intervention
00:39:30Or maybe an interrogation
00:39:32It's because everyone is hiding something
00:39:35Esme
00:39:36We're just curious
00:39:38This festival is really important to us
00:39:41We have vested interest
00:39:44Look
00:39:45I don't want to speak out of turn
00:39:47And I understand that you guys are anxious
00:39:49But really you have to speak to Alan about this
00:39:52Oh we will
00:39:53Don't you worry about that
00:39:57The mountain has arrived
00:40:01You know we all know that you're here
00:40:03Can you help with this please?
00:40:05They know Alan
00:40:06You might as well just tell me the truth
00:40:08The truth will set you free
00:40:10Okay
00:40:10I've spoken to my dad in the hospital
00:40:12He is getting better
00:40:14It is a question of whether he can do the sign off though
00:40:17No he can't
00:40:18Not while he's in hospital
00:40:20What's the sign off?
00:40:21The festival director
00:40:23Has to sign off on the adjudicator's paperwork
00:40:26Can't Alan do that?
00:40:28Are you the festival director Alan?
00:40:30No I'm
00:40:31Yeah
00:40:32Not the festival director then
00:40:33What's that smell?
00:40:37Listen
00:40:38Monkey boy
00:40:39I swear to God
00:40:41And the sunny Jesus
00:40:42If you don't find a solution
00:40:44I'm gonna drop kick your head
00:40:46And I've done seven days
00:40:48Intensive stage combat
00:40:50You watch yourself
00:41:03Forget the gold particle this is producing
00:41:05Oh yeah
00:41:06Just without the money
00:41:08Or the credit
00:41:08You'll cut out for greater things
00:41:10Yeah well you clearly haven't met my dad
00:41:12He's gonna kill my movie
00:41:16Still living in his shadow
00:41:17Just like Tug
00:41:18Be thou known self
00:41:19Be true
00:41:20Yeah well that's really easy for you to say
00:41:21You're an award winning actress
00:41:22With a string of movie titles behind you
00:41:25And I'm just
00:41:25And you're currently a festival director
00:41:29Ah yeah I see
00:41:30Trying to sway influence with the festival director
00:41:32To try and win an award
00:41:33It's not gonna work
00:41:34Oh my
00:41:35What's a girl got to do?
00:41:39Mate
00:41:39Bury your shaver?
00:41:42Yeah
00:41:43Sure whatever you need
00:41:44Keep that towel on
00:41:45And I'll cut your hair
00:41:47Hotel cleaning service
00:41:49For sure
00:41:51Mike
00:41:51Can we grab a look at your movie?
00:41:54Sure
00:41:55It's your funeral
00:42:04Well this is it
00:42:06This is where
00:42:08I or Mike is staying tonight
00:42:10Because
00:42:11I did have
00:42:12Three iron bath tubs
00:42:13They were all tied together
00:42:15And it was really
00:42:16Really
00:42:16Really good
00:42:17Always get a wee check on the buns
00:42:19Because you just don't know
00:42:20What's in these buns
00:42:22Mike
00:42:22This is good
00:42:26And phone boxes
00:42:28Always keep your eye out for them
00:42:30A lot of people miss them
00:42:31It's
00:42:32Really
00:42:33Good
00:42:50Good
00:42:51What the...
00:42:53What the...
00:42:57Fuck...
00:42:57Huh...
00:42:58What the...
00:42:59Can I just spell you
00:43:00What the...
00:43:01What the...
00:43:12You, uh, you calm down, yeah?
00:43:17Can I sit?
00:43:18Help yourself, you usually do.
00:43:21I wake up this morning and you're gone.
00:43:23Didn't think you'd notice they're intensely snoring.
00:43:28I'm at a loss here, Esme.
00:43:30What's going on?
00:43:33Do you remember the little talk me and you had?
00:43:35I support you, you support me.
00:43:39That's all I ever do, is support you.
00:43:42Yeah, well, you've been missing an action all weekend.
00:43:46I've been here all this time.
00:43:48The question is, where have you been?
00:43:51Clever.
00:43:53How's that working out for you?
00:43:57That's the thing about relationships.
00:43:59They give you reason to live.
00:44:02Revenge.
00:44:04Hey, hey.
00:44:05Do you remember this?
00:44:06I've heard there was a secret chord.
00:44:10No.
00:44:10That David played.
00:44:12It pleased the Lord.
00:44:14But you don't really care for movies, do you?
00:44:19It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the major falls, the minor lifts, the baffled king composing, hallelujah.
00:44:34No?
00:44:36Those old cheap moves aren't going to work on me anymore.
00:44:39I've got plenty of new cheap moves for you.
00:44:41How are you going to face all these people when they find out you paid for the award?
00:44:45The question is, babe, do you feel paid for?
00:45:01Esme!
00:45:06That's bad, Gigi, mate.
00:45:07You need to let her take a moment.
00:45:08But she's upset.
00:45:11Having your bridges burned is never going to be easy, but she's strong.
00:45:27I think he's better from an older person.
00:45:31But this is your fault, Jess.
00:45:33You were in a fucking movie.
00:45:35She was very giving as an actress.
00:45:38Okay, can one of you please just tell me what's going on?
00:45:43Rachel can't do it.
00:45:44Oh!
00:45:45We forgot Jade posted on Rachel's socials that she was so bitchy she's probably playing the werewolf.
00:45:51Why?
00:45:52Because it was my role.
00:46:00Wow, what a transformation.
00:46:04Hey, got myself some new threads.
00:46:09It's going to be a long night.
00:46:24I mean, this is getting ridiculous.
00:46:29Sorry.
00:46:30Caroline!
00:46:31Hi!
00:46:33Hey, Alan.
00:46:35Could I be the most beautiful girl in the world?
00:46:39Caroline, wow.
00:46:41What are you doing here?
00:46:42I mean, I'm glad that you are, but why?
00:46:47Seems most men take advantage.
00:46:50Except you, of course.
00:46:52Giggles was a mistake.
00:46:55I'll still do your announcements, if you want me.
00:46:59Really?
00:47:00Oh, Caroline, absolutely.
00:47:01That'd be amazing.
00:47:02Yes, yes.
00:47:03Thank you so much.
00:47:05Wow, slaying it, Mike.
00:47:07Nobody even seen a man on a suit.
00:47:10She's just getting a bit excited.
00:47:12Our film's showing today.
00:47:14Malicious intent.
00:47:15Gangster comedy.
00:47:16Has malicious intent even got a chance?
00:47:19Well, it's a lower budget than Tug's film, but hopefully we spent the money where it really mattered.
00:47:25We got the secret ingredient.
00:47:27Me?
00:47:28I'm the secret ingredient.
00:47:30Well, look, when Millie was ten, we'd done a short film together called Daddy's Girl.
00:47:37Those clips are a springboard for malicious intent.
00:47:41It's like the story picks up from that point.
00:47:45She was much cuter then.
00:47:47Not such a pain in the arse.
00:47:52Well, the best advice I can give is that you never know who's going to grow up to be famous,
00:47:57so just make yourself available.
00:47:59Oh, don't be a tart.
00:48:00Huh?
00:48:00Well, I wish it was Beyonce.
00:48:06I've been looking for you.
00:48:08I found me.
00:48:09Well, I thought maybe you wanted some space.
00:48:11Good choice.
00:48:13Or you could just kill all the girls prettier than me.
00:48:15Or maybe just Tug.
00:48:16Sorry.
00:48:20Where are all the good guys, Dad?
00:48:22In the heart or in the head?
00:48:24You think I'm a good guy?
00:48:26Well, when your instinct tells you to do something, you don't do it.
00:48:31So maybe when it tells you not to, that's when you should.
00:48:35Oh.
00:48:37Read the room, Alan.
00:48:39This is the consensual kissing part.
00:48:44Caroline's back.
00:48:50Your ex that caught with your best friend, Caroline?
00:48:52Yeah, um, she wants to present the awards.
00:48:56Mm, that's good, I guess.
00:48:58Great for you.
00:48:59Well, the whole thing with giggles was a mistake.
00:49:01I mean, I always thought so, but I guess she's realised it too, so, um...
00:49:05Yeah, no, great.
00:49:06Um, so pleased for you.
00:49:09Are you okay?
00:49:10Yeah, just peachy.
00:49:12Learning lessons all the time.
00:49:14Right, um, um, sorry, just one second.
00:49:17Ah.
00:49:30Ladies and gentlemen, I would be happy to present our next film, Malicious Intent.
00:49:36No, no, no, no.
00:49:38Wait, wait, wait!
00:49:43Um, my apologies.
00:49:49There will now be a short interval as I need a word with the festival director.
00:49:55Young man.
00:49:58This is totally irregular.
00:50:01My paperwork should have been signed and she mailed off this morning.
00:50:07So, I understand.
00:50:08He's just busy.
00:50:10He fobbed me off with that before.
00:50:12Where is your father?
00:50:14He is festival director.
00:50:15Fully understand.
00:50:16Uh, end of the next movie, he'll be here.
00:50:18Yeah, listen, young man.
00:50:20This might seem like a game to you, but it's also my job.
00:50:24And I don't like explaining to my line managers that I can't manage a simple task such as getting a...
00:50:31Signature!
00:50:33Stand on me.
00:50:34I will sort it.
00:50:37It's our big day.
00:50:40Uh, yeah.
00:50:42It is.
00:50:43It is.
00:51:02I curse them to hell
00:51:05As her boat fought the swell
00:51:08A ship danced like a moth
00:51:10In the firelight
00:51:12Wild horses rode high
00:51:15As the devil passed by
00:51:17Taking souls into Hades by twilight
00:51:23Five weeks out to sea
00:51:25We were now forty-three
00:51:27We buried our comrades each morning
00:51:31In our own slime
00:51:33We were lost in the time
00:51:36Endless night we were dawning
00:51:43Oh, I wish I was back home in Derry
00:51:48Oh, I wish I was back home in Derry
00:52:01Oh, I wish I was back home in Derry
00:52:08Caroline, you're back
00:52:10From outer space
00:52:11I notice you cry a lot in your films
00:52:14Your tear ducts must be very close to your bladder
00:52:17Has Alan talked you into the presenting?
00:52:20All these best actress nominees
00:52:22And I'm just thinking
00:52:23Shut up and get a salad
00:52:25Uh, so, um
00:52:26Caroline thinks that we should just come clean with the adjudicator
00:52:30Not the best idea
00:52:31Is that your own thought?
00:52:33Or do you need a screenwriter?
00:52:36Caroline
00:52:38We should be friends
00:52:41Yes, I agree
00:52:42Best friends
00:52:45I think that ending needs work
00:52:47How about less silly questions
00:52:49And a bit more shut the hell up
00:52:51How did you make her look younger in the film?
00:52:54Was that computer stuff?
00:52:56This is a man
00:52:56Who thinks the plural of goose is sheep
00:53:00I ain't saying anything
00:53:01So then, your, uh
00:53:03Your style's clearly more
00:53:05Gangster than it is
00:53:06Horror
00:53:07Hey
00:53:08That character played Dudley in your movie
00:53:10He was awesome
00:53:14Joy
00:53:16Alright, ladies and gentlemen
00:53:18Our next film is
00:53:22Sex
00:53:24Have fun
00:54:06Turn around and bend over
00:54:10I can't wait forever
00:54:14I think it's time to leave
00:54:17I'm young
00:54:17I'm all dressed up
00:54:19I'm on my way to marry the asexual awakening
00:54:22And there's 290 years separating me from the films of Kevin Smith
00:54:26But that doesn't mean it's true
00:54:30But that doesn't mean it's true
00:54:31If time don't wait for no one
00:54:37How can I wait for you
00:54:42It's hot fluff
00:54:44It's hot fluff
00:54:47It's complete love
00:54:49It's complete love
00:54:52Words will do
00:55:02Didn't fancy sex then
00:55:04It was beauty that killed the beast
00:55:07Malicious intent should be good competition for Tug
00:55:10It might blindside him
00:55:13Well, we can hope so
00:55:14But look, I'm probably the most non-competitive person here
00:55:17So I win
00:55:20Secrets and lies
00:55:23Come with me
00:55:28This is bang out of order
00:55:29Have you any idea how much shit I went through to get the day off today?
00:55:33This ain't my day job, you know
00:55:35It's not Alan's fault
00:55:37Well, this does land squarely on Alan's door
00:55:40I was thinking
00:55:41Since no one saw the ending of my film
00:55:44Can we screen it again, maybe?
00:55:48Look at you, all of you
00:55:50No problem is too big
00:55:52We can't fix it if we work together
00:55:54Esme, you're beautiful on the inside
00:55:57But it's important you understand your limitations
00:56:00Alan, what I'm saying is
00:56:03If anyone actually saw the ending of the film
00:56:05Then people would know that my character disguises itself as older
00:56:08I will play your dad
00:56:10And I will sign off this whole festival
00:56:16What?
00:56:17Come on, good range
00:56:21Him
00:56:23I can't play Gabriel
00:56:25That accent's incredibly tricky
00:56:27If you don't do it
00:56:28Then all of this is over for everyone
00:56:32Hello, son
00:56:33How are you?
00:56:35God, this has disaster written all over it
00:56:38Something is missing
00:56:40Could be range
00:56:43The meanness
00:56:44Yeah, Gabriel is an arsehole
00:56:47Oi, I'm not happy
00:56:49And I don't like it
00:56:50Oh my god
00:56:53There's me
00:56:54Is my foot scrub in there?
00:56:58Yes, it's gotta be brilliant
00:57:02And bring me a razor as well, will you?
00:57:05Yeah
00:57:22You've been blowing hot and cold me all day
00:57:25Everything's fine in my world
00:57:28You might want to tell your face that
00:57:31This is a big day for us
00:57:33You bought the award, Tug
00:57:35Hardly meritable
00:57:37I read a book about this once
00:57:38You sure it was a book?
00:57:40You sure it wasn't nothing?
00:57:41This is show business
00:57:43Not care business
00:57:46You're like all the worst parts of a girlfriend
00:57:49And do you not want to meet a producer?
00:57:52And just for that
00:57:54When the movie comes out
00:57:55I'm going to get Matt Damon to play you
00:57:56Oh
00:57:58Well maybe I'll get Jade to play you then
00:58:01Jade?
00:58:02Yeah
00:58:03Your new producing partner
00:58:05A little
00:58:07Girl on girl action
00:58:10I'm joking
00:58:12Unless
00:58:13Unless you'd be up for it
00:58:22Jesus, I was only joking
00:58:23It's not a joke
00:58:25I'm feeling lost
00:58:27Hey
00:58:27I've heard there was a secret code
00:58:30Stop
00:58:31That Michael played
00:58:32It pleased the Lord
00:58:33Stop
00:58:36If I explained it
00:58:37I think I'd only confuse you
00:58:41Do you know what?
00:58:43I think it's times like this
00:58:44If I wasn't a multi-award win
00:58:47And talented filmmaker
00:58:48And you were just an ordinary girl
00:58:49Then we wouldn't have these problems
00:58:53On Gods of Shoreditch
00:58:54I was supposed to be an associate producer
00:58:57But in reality
00:58:58I was more of a dog's body
00:59:00Seriously
00:59:01This again
00:59:02I told you
00:59:03It's whatever it takes to get this shot
00:59:08Look
00:59:10You can produce the next one in full
00:59:12Yeah
00:59:13My dad's already on board
00:59:15Take that back
00:59:16And I'll kill you
00:59:19You're the producer
00:59:22Game face on
00:59:24Hooray for Hollywood
00:59:37When did you hold the bloody lift?
00:59:39Oh, didn't I?
00:59:42Come on
00:59:43Come on
00:59:45Come on
00:59:47Yes
00:59:48Oh, God
01:00:09Are you not going to change for the paparazzi shorts?
01:00:12It's not really my thing
01:00:13Besides, Gabriel would wear something like this, right?
01:00:16No, I've got a bad feeling about this
01:00:18Listen, son, I've got this whole routine work there
01:00:20No routine, okay?
01:00:22This isn't an audition
01:00:23Just say hello and then sign the pissing document
01:00:25Where's your wife?
01:00:27I think we should just come clean
01:00:29Hello
01:00:30Hello
01:00:31You must be the adjudicator
01:00:33My son Alan's been telling me all about you
01:00:38Sorry for being a bit busy
01:00:39This film festival malarkey
01:00:41Kept me on me toes
01:00:42Yes
01:00:43Seems to have ramped up a notch
01:00:46With the screening of Gods of Shoreditch
01:00:48One of my personal favourites
01:00:50Um, now that you're here
01:00:54Uh, my paperwork needs a signature
01:00:58Absolutely
01:00:59Happy to
01:01:01Thank you
01:01:02Oh, sorry
01:01:07Forgot who I was there for a second
01:01:11Is that her what?
01:01:14I'll need a final signing off
01:01:17When the winners are announced
01:01:20Your accent seems off
01:01:24Uh, it's...
01:01:28It's posh voice
01:01:30A posh telephone voice
01:01:32Yeah, I should use it all the time, really
01:01:35Right
01:01:36Your Honour
01:01:37May I show you to the next screening?
01:01:43Oh
01:01:46You know, my movies
01:01:47Are inherently amazing
01:01:50It's all about the big screen
01:01:53And it's not easy being an action star
01:02:02Shouldn't you be up there
01:02:04Now that you're here
01:02:06Yes
01:02:06Uh, absolutely
01:02:09He is such a star
01:02:11When it comes to these things
01:02:17Uh, ladies and gentlemen
01:02:18I'd like to
01:02:20Introduce to you
01:02:22Gods of Shoreditch
01:02:25And its stars
01:02:26Big round of applause
01:02:27For its stars
01:02:28Esme Presley
01:02:30And
01:02:31Tugs Beatman
01:02:46Good entrance
01:02:48You want to see the one I'm going to make
01:02:50When I, uh, win my award?
01:02:54What?
01:02:55No!
01:02:55Get out!
01:02:57Come on!
01:02:58Crazy filmmakers
01:02:59Trying to draw attention to their film
01:03:02I thought they were quite fun
01:03:08You know, they do say I'm the new Robert Rodriguez
01:03:10Except I star in my own movies as well
01:03:13Maybe Robert was smarter
01:03:21You fought well
01:03:22Despite the twist of ankle
01:03:25You will live to fight another day
01:03:27And I assure you
01:03:29It is not serious
01:03:30I took the liberty
01:03:31Of feeling the bone
01:03:33And it is perfectly sound
01:03:36Oh, sir
01:03:37How will I ever thank you?
01:03:39Please
01:03:40Do not think of it
01:03:41It is my honor to serve you
01:03:45Will you not be seated?
01:03:47Pray
01:03:47Excuse me
01:03:49I do not wish to leave a watermark
01:03:54Permit me to call tomorrow afternoon
01:03:57So that I may inquire after you
01:04:04Fight hard
01:04:06Fight for me
01:04:14Alan's, uh, pitching me some shitty book movie
01:04:18The God Particle's the third book in a series
01:04:22That guy
01:04:23The Irish Connection
01:04:25Masaka and fucking Chips
01:04:27Shit
01:04:29That director is the worst
01:04:31He couldn't even direct traffic
01:04:33You know, they should have come to
01:04:35Me, Tug Speedman
01:04:39You know I'm right, babe
01:04:54Fun and happiness in short supply
01:04:57Out of the frying pan
01:04:58And into the fire
01:04:59It's always difficult when one person moves on
01:05:02Hmm
01:05:04I spoke to Dad this morning
01:05:06Uh, he's recovering
01:05:07But no mention of my movie, so
01:05:10Nice guys doing it for themselves
01:05:12Yeah
01:05:15You're planning something
01:05:16That's going to get me in trouble, aren't you?
01:05:18Oh, most definitely
01:05:42You best move out of the way and let me be
01:05:44This is not how it works
01:05:46Nice time, stunt boy
01:05:48Oh, fuck
01:05:50Allen?
01:05:51Oh, fuck
01:05:52Oh, fuck
01:05:57Oh, fuck
01:06:23Thank you everyone for the kind words and praise.
01:06:26The buffet has been provided by yours truly.
01:06:29Fill your guts.
01:06:33You really don't have to do this.
01:06:35You know they haven't kneeled before their wards.
01:06:37These ain't for me.
01:06:54That went well.
01:06:55Thanks for that.
01:06:56What happened to the group?
01:06:58This is the best fun I've had all year.
01:07:06What's this?
01:07:08Naughty movies?
01:07:09Or my ransom demands?
01:07:14We have a late entry to the film festival.
01:07:18And I wanted you to experience it in my full company.
01:07:27Late entries are highly irregular.
01:07:36But this could be a lot of fun.
01:07:40Well, this is it.
01:07:42This is where Iron Mike is staying the night.
01:07:46Because I did have three iron bathtubs.
01:07:49They were all tied together.
01:07:51And it was really, really, really good.
01:07:55I don't know what you want me to say.
01:07:57Mike's was the best film.
01:07:59I have no patience with best.
01:08:01I have no patience with fairness.
01:08:04Life is not fair.
01:08:05Love is not fair.
01:08:07And as long as we still breathe the air of a free capitalist society,
01:08:13business will never be fair.
01:08:17Sacrifice, Alan.
01:08:20Like the kamikaze pilots used to do.
01:08:23Yeah, that's a discomforting stay, isn't it?
01:08:26Hemorrhoids cause discomfort.
01:08:28This is open-heart surgery.
01:08:36Fuck the phone, Alan.
01:08:38You said I could produce.
01:08:40I will knock you the fuck out right here, right now.
01:08:44We did the right thing.
01:08:47Are you okay?
01:08:51Movie stars do not have opinions.
01:08:56Sorry, I know you're his dad.
01:08:58But Alan worked damn hard throughout this festival.
01:09:01And I suppose the bros code is over now,
01:09:04you fucking tugs wife.
01:09:05I think I'm done here.
01:09:09We're bloody ruins.
01:09:23Alan, you know what I'm going to say.
01:09:25Yes, I know, you're ending.
01:09:26But I'm not being funny.
01:09:27The only thing I care about ending is this festival.
01:09:29Eyes front.
01:09:31God, does making movies have to be all this difficult?
01:09:34I'm looking forward to this.
01:09:35Who's doing your presentation?
01:09:37Hope is a surprise.
01:09:38Oh, me too.
01:09:39If she shows up.
01:09:43I do love surprises.
01:09:57Ladies and gentlemen,
01:09:58please put your hands together
01:09:59for our wonderful guest speaker,
01:10:01Caroline Doherty.
01:10:08So very glad to be here this evening
01:10:11amongst all the wonderful filmmakers and stars.
01:10:16To be a filmmaker,
01:10:17you have to be psychotic
01:10:18in your desire to do something.
01:10:21For the first category,
01:10:23Best Actress in a Feature Film,
01:10:27Millie Ward in Malicious Attack.
01:10:33Esme Presley in Gods of Shoreditch.
01:10:39And Fran Walsh in Hey Mr DJ.
01:10:45And the winner is...
01:10:47This is just a start.
01:10:48Esme Presley.
01:10:53Esme Presley.
01:10:55So very well done.
01:10:57I would like to show my immense gratitude
01:11:01to all of the team involved in Gods.
01:11:09And for our first Best Picture nominee,
01:11:13we have Hey Mr DJ.
01:11:15You didn't think to thank me,
01:11:16the man who made it all happen.
01:11:18A film about a time in the 90s
01:11:21where DJs were gods
01:11:22and gangsters ruled the streets.
01:11:25Your ego will be strict enough tonight.
01:11:27Let's have a look.
01:11:34What'd you throw up there?
01:11:36Just some bags I was storing stuff in.
01:11:40Right, get yourself freshened up.
01:11:42Got a great place for us to go to.
01:11:44Oscar, I'm not feeling up to it.
01:11:45Hey!
01:11:46You're single now, remember?
01:11:47Half an hour off.
01:11:50And the next category is...
01:11:53Best Newcomer nominees.
01:11:55Lynn Chain for Opera in the Evening Garden.
01:11:59Millie Ward for Malicious Intent.
01:12:02And Jess Bronski in Mysterious.
01:12:07And the winner is...
01:12:09Millie Ward in Malicious Intent.
01:12:17Oh my God, I don't even know what to say.
01:12:19Thank you so much to the festival.
01:12:22Thank you so much to everyone that I've met.
01:12:25And if you would like to come
01:12:27for drinks afterwards,
01:12:29then meet me at 7th.
01:12:31She knows how proud I am of her, doesn't you?
01:12:34Hey, I was nervous
01:12:35and I got one.
01:12:37I mean, it looks like roughly the right shape.
01:12:40I mean, it's going to save me a ton of berries.
01:12:43And our next best film nominee
01:12:46is for Malicious Intent.
01:13:04And the next category
01:13:07is Best Editing nominees.
01:13:09We have
01:13:10Emmett Bronski
01:13:12in Mysterious.
01:13:13Target Speedman
01:13:15for Culture Shoreditch.
01:13:16George Heng
01:13:18for Opera in the Evening Garden.
01:13:21And the winner is...
01:13:24Well, this is a vindication
01:13:25considering no one saw the ending.
01:13:28And our third best film nominee
01:13:30is Gods of Shoreditch,
01:13:32a story about
01:13:33time-travelling gangsters.
01:13:36By night one way,
01:13:38by day another,
01:13:39this shall be the norm
01:13:40until you take
01:13:42true love's first kiss
01:13:43and love takes its true form.
01:13:50These are no one else!
01:13:53And a rather exciting category,
01:13:57Best Actor nominees.
01:13:58We have
01:13:59George Cheng
01:14:00in Opera
01:14:01in Evening Garden.
01:14:05Ashraf Ward
01:14:06in Malicious Intent.
01:14:09Tug Speedman
01:14:11in Gods of Shoreditch.
01:14:13It's a word.
01:14:14I think it's a good one.
01:14:15Because it's a good one.
01:14:15And the winner is...
01:14:17Tug Speedman.
01:14:20Gutted, mate.
01:14:22Proper gutted.
01:14:24Honestly thought I was in with a chat.
01:14:28Me too.
01:14:29I was the best actor.
01:14:31And our fourth best film nominee...
01:14:34I didn't know nothing about no.
01:14:35Fourth nomination.
01:14:37...is a work of modern day art
01:14:39versus immense need.
01:14:41Now, let's have a look at
01:14:42To Homelessness and the Man
01:14:44by Mike Reed.
01:14:46So there's certain things
01:14:47that you would do,
01:14:48well, certain things you look for.
01:14:49Like shopping centre.
01:14:51Pounds out of the trolley's.
01:14:52That's a pound, like.
01:14:54Pounds, like.
01:14:57Two hundred points.
01:14:59And we're down to the final award
01:15:00of the evening.
01:15:01Best overall film of the festival.
01:15:05And the winner is...
01:15:07Hardly a win if you paid for it.
01:15:11Mike Reed.
01:15:24Well, it looks like
01:15:26you might just run best film tag.
01:15:29You're fucking...
01:15:30Thanks and everything.
01:15:32The beds are really comfortable.
01:15:38This isn't right.
01:15:40This fucking film wasn't even
01:15:42in the programme.
01:15:43What the hell even is this
01:15:44fucking shit film?
01:15:45My daddy paid for all of this.
01:15:48What are you talking about?
01:15:50This was all paid for.
01:15:52No, not him.
01:15:53That's just a shit actor.
01:15:56This is outrageous.
01:15:57I knew something was wrong.
01:16:01Okay.
01:16:02I thought he was pretty convincing.
01:16:05You've falsified records.
01:16:07There may well be charges.
01:16:09What charges?
01:16:11No, no, no, please.
01:16:11All right, look, I'm sorry.
01:16:12This whole thing was my fault.
01:16:14Don't punish or charge anyone else.
01:16:16My dad, Gabriel,
01:16:18guy from the phone,
01:16:19had a massive heart attack.
01:16:21And he had so much money
01:16:22invested in this festival.
01:16:24And he's Tug Speedman
01:16:26telling the truth.
01:16:27Technically, yes.
01:16:28Most of it was his money.
01:16:30His father's money.
01:16:31Yes, but we went with our hearts.
01:16:33And that's why Mike won best film.
01:16:36I don't judge the films.
01:16:38Merely here to make sure
01:16:39that the festival is run properly.
01:16:41From what you're telling me,
01:16:42this has been an absolute farce.
01:16:52Mr. Audjudicator,
01:16:54excuse me for interrupting.
01:16:56I have known Esme a long time.
01:16:59And, well, if my word has any bearing,
01:17:03Esme,
01:17:04she always speaks from her heart.
01:17:08Ms. Warren.
01:17:11Warren.
01:17:15Ms. Warren.
01:17:17I am a huge fan
01:17:20of your movies.
01:17:23And your words do carry
01:17:25significant weight.
01:17:27But this is
01:17:28an official matter.
01:17:30Hmm.
01:17:31I fully understand that.
01:17:34But
01:17:35if Esme says that
01:17:37Homeless Man is the best film,
01:17:41I would not disagree.
01:17:44Thank you, Rachel.
01:17:47You're welcome.
01:18:13Producers,
01:18:14um,
01:18:15is this jacket okay?
01:18:16It feels a bit big.
01:18:21Sometimes he's got to take the chances.
01:18:23Do you regret taking a chance on me?
01:18:26Who am I to argue with the producer?
01:18:32Do you miss Tuck?
01:18:35Wherever he is
01:18:36and whatever he's doing,
01:18:37let's just hope he's not missing us.
01:18:51Total submission, bitches.
01:18:54Is this going to hurt?
01:18:56True love is pain.
01:18:58Ah!
01:19:00Ah!
01:19:01Ah!
01:19:02Ah!
01:19:02Ah!
01:19:02Ah!
01:19:03Ah!
01:19:03Ah!
01:19:04Ah!
01:19:05Ah!
01:19:06Ah!
01:19:55Turnover, and action.
01:20:02I'm not playing a street walker.
01:20:05It's a tart with a heart.
01:20:07What a second-rate street walker wear an outfit like this?
01:20:09I'm first class, one best new come up.
01:20:11Just do it, Harry's written, please, babe.
01:20:16Idiot.
01:20:19So you know the saying, never work with children or animals.
01:20:24Not me, really.
01:20:26Oh, buddy.
01:20:27I'm, buddy.
01:20:27I'm.
01:20:30I'm.
01:21:44Some beautiful paths can't be discovered without getting lost.
01:21:50I never did thank you, did I?
01:21:56Emmett!
01:22:01I've got something for you.
01:22:02Oh, God, please do not kidnap me now.
01:22:05You'll like this.
01:22:10Oh, please, he did it to himself when we went back on his word.
01:22:15You're welcome.
01:22:18Why did you just not leave us alone?
01:22:21We told you time and time again, but you still don't listen to you, sister.
01:22:30Oh, okay.
01:22:32Oh, okay.
01:22:34You're welcome.
01:22:46You
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