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00:22:50I'd like to kill the kid with the gum.
00:23:00Oh! Oh!
00:23:02Mr. Malbert!
00:23:04You, Mrs. Malbert.
00:23:06No!
00:23:07Say no to Malbert?
00:23:10Uh, yes. No.
00:23:13You helped Malbert. Malbert had big problems.
00:23:17Five-letter word for stealth-like...
00:23:19Creep!
00:23:20Malbert, thanks!
00:23:32Lovely day for a parade.
00:23:34Or a murder.
00:23:35Yes.
00:23:46Ladies and gentlemen, the LaMob High Marching Band,
00:23:50the finest marching band on this street at this moment.
00:23:55And remember, my dear friends,
00:23:57this may not be the biggest parade in the world,
00:24:00but it will be the most sincere.
00:24:02We have dedicated it to those students who have passed on.
00:24:07For, like everyone else,
00:24:09even the dead love a parade.
00:24:12I'd like to make a special appeal to the killer.
00:24:15Hasn't there been enough senseless killing?
00:24:18Let's have a murder that makes sense.
00:24:26Cheerleaders are taking off their blouse.
00:24:28Yeah, yeah.
00:24:29And prom queen candidates, no clothes.
00:24:31Oh, man, yeah.
00:24:32You know my doll?
00:24:34And on the next boat,
00:24:35our lovely prom queen candidates,
00:24:37uh, or what's left of them.
00:24:49Meet Patty Briswell,
00:24:51John D'Amico,
00:24:51and Barry,
00:24:52our boy queen candidate.
00:25:10Man, that Dagmar sure looks good.
00:25:16Are you crazy?
00:25:17Later, man.
00:25:19Our school mascot,
00:25:21the bull.
00:25:23When I say that a mob
00:25:24has the finest educational standards in the state,
00:25:27what do you say?
00:25:28Full.
00:25:29Look, over there.
00:25:41Did you see that?
00:25:42Well, maybe he's helping her find a bathroom or something.
00:25:48Let's get comfortable, baby.
00:25:50The floor may be hard, but I'm solved.
00:25:51Couldn't you pick a better place?
00:25:53I can't help it.
00:25:54How old bulls get me hot?
00:25:59Here I am.
00:26:00Always want to do it.
00:26:02Always want to do it.
00:26:02Let me do it.
00:26:05Let me see a murder weapon.
00:26:10What's in this goddamn flu?
00:26:13Okay, okay.
00:26:13Hey, don't you see it.
00:26:25Hey, Max!
00:26:26Hey, slow down!
00:26:27Hey, baby.
00:26:30I gotta find something.
00:26:32Hey, there must be something.
00:26:36Hey, hey.
00:26:40Hey, hey.
00:26:42Hey, hey.
00:26:44Hey, hey, hey.
00:26:44Hey, hey, hey.
00:26:45Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:26:46Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:26:55OK, baby. Welcome back.
00:27:06Oh, I like your outfit.
00:27:09What's this? I thought you hated eggplant.
00:27:14Ralph? Dagmar?
00:27:25No!
00:27:33Where are you, you guys? I saw you come down here.
00:27:38Dagmar?
00:27:46It's a big day.
00:27:48Big day, big day, Miss Monsley.
00:27:55Oh, my God!
00:27:58Student bodies! Student bodies!
00:28:04Ladies and gentlemen, in order to achieve an R rating today,
00:28:09a motion picture must contain full frontal nudity,
00:28:13graphic violence, or an explicit reference to the sex act.
00:28:18Since this film has none of those,
00:28:20and since research has proven that R-rated films
00:28:23are by far the most popular with the movie-going public,
00:28:26the producers of this motion picture
00:28:29have asked me to take this opportunity to say,
00:28:32Fuck you.
00:28:38Finished.
00:28:41They're gone.
00:28:46Hardy!
00:28:55What have we here, Miss shouldn't be on the float anyway?
00:29:01Wait a...
00:29:04No!
00:29:06No, I...
00:29:07I didn't do it!
00:29:09I didn't do it!
00:29:10I never do it!
00:29:12Three down.
00:29:14Well, this is the anatomy of a frog,
00:29:16and here, thousands of years later,
00:29:18man, quite a different class.
00:29:20And yet, is he perfect?
00:29:22I think not.
00:29:24This is totally unnecessary, ugly, and gets in the way.
00:29:27Uh, now...
00:29:29I can't believe about all this talk about Toby being involved in these murders.
00:29:32It isn't true.
00:29:33Hmm.
00:29:34She was reflecting very poorly on our school.
00:29:36If she had a sense of self-honor and decency,
00:29:38she'd kill herself.
00:29:40Uh, now, we can't go around, uh, changing man's anatomy,
00:29:43legally, that is,
00:29:44but we can change the frogs.
00:29:46Now, if you will all please expose your frogs.
00:29:49Uh, first, uh, we will remove all these ugly little frog penises.
00:29:53Cigarette?
00:29:55Okay, I'll come straight to the point.
00:29:58You're the murderer.
00:29:59No, that's impossible. I wouldn't hurt a fly.
00:30:08The girl's obviously a liar.
00:30:10Let's get her to the chair.
00:30:11If you want, I can saw her head off.
00:30:12Now, wait a minute.
00:30:13May I make a suggestion?
00:30:14Instead of sending Toby directly to jail...
00:30:16What?
00:30:17...and let her pass go and collect $200?
00:30:20No way.
00:30:21No, I meant it would be a good idea
00:30:22if Toby saw our school psychiatrist
00:30:24before we came to any firm conclusion.
00:30:26I don't believe in psychiatrists.
00:30:27What would they ever do for me?
00:30:28Obviously nothing.
00:30:30Dr. Sigisman is an eminently eminem,
00:30:32a top man who has treated many murderers before they killed.
00:30:35I feel strongly that the proper course of action
00:30:37is a thorough psychiatric consultation.
00:30:40Okay?
00:30:40No, I don't think so either.
00:30:41Good. Then settle.
00:30:44Goodbye, and thanks for your confidence in me, Mr. Peters.
00:30:48Not really confidence, my dear.
00:30:49I think you're crazy.
00:31:00Now, let's examine the evidence again.
00:31:03Now, here are the murder weapons.
00:31:05Now, who could logically have access to them?
00:31:08One paper clip.
00:31:10Oh, no, that's yours.
00:31:14Three trash bags.
00:31:15Now, who could these belong to?
00:31:17What's he doing?
00:31:18This used to be the restroom before they remodeled the building,
00:31:21and Malvert thinks it's still here.
00:31:23I keep a trash can over there for just this purpose.
00:31:26It's better to be safe than sorry.
00:31:28Well, a man deserves some respect.
00:31:30He was a teacher before the accident.
00:31:32What accident?
00:31:33Oh, he was in a terrible crash.
00:31:35He got rammed from both the front and the back at the same time.
00:31:39Poor fellow got whiplash in both directions.
00:31:42Poor fellow was a teacher, now a janitor.
00:31:44He does enjoy the raise and pay.
00:31:46Now we're the Ford hookers.
00:31:49All done?
00:31:50No.
00:31:52Now done.
00:31:56You can't get angry with him.
00:31:58He gets teased unmercifully.
00:32:00Wait a minute.
00:32:01Now, he could be our man.
00:32:05Look at him.
00:32:06Look at him.
00:32:06He's got blood on his hands.
00:32:08No.
00:32:09Since accident, Malvert sometimes pee red.
00:32:12You know good urologist?
00:32:15I'll get it.
00:32:16I'm farthest from the phone.
00:32:18That makes sense.
00:32:26Hello?
00:32:27Hello.
00:32:28I won't beat around the bush.
00:32:30I killed everybody and I'm glad.
00:32:33I appreciate your honesty.
00:32:35What makes your voice sound so funny?
00:32:37I'm disguising it, Schmack.
00:32:39How?
00:32:40By talking through a rubber chicken.
00:32:42I thought it sounded like you were speaking through a rubber chicken.
00:32:45Listen, I'm going to kill next at the football game.
00:32:48Click.
00:32:48Did you hang up?
00:32:49No, I just said click.
00:32:53Who was that?
00:32:54The killer.
00:32:55Chicken lips.
00:32:55And if that was the killer, then Malvert can't be guilty.
00:32:58You can go, Malvert.
00:33:00Damn, Malvert never get picked.
00:33:04I've never been to a shrink before.
00:33:06What do I say?
00:33:07Tell him anything he wants to hear.
00:33:09I don't know what to do.
00:33:09Just don't let him give you a lobotomy like they did to Jack Nicholson and Cuckoo's Mess.
00:33:13No, you don't think so.
00:33:13That'd really mess you up.
00:33:15Don't worry.
00:33:16I'm scared.
00:33:17It's routine.
00:33:19I'm sorry.
00:33:21I promised myself I wouldn't cry.
00:33:23That's okay.
00:33:24It's all right to cry.
00:33:26Perhaps this will help.
00:33:27I'm sorry I'm out of Kleenex.
00:33:29Thank you, Dr. Sigmund.
00:33:32Don't be so formal.
00:33:33Call me Pisher.
00:33:38Toby, I'm going to ask you a difficult question.
00:33:41Are you up for it?
00:33:42I think so, Dr. Sigmund.
00:33:45Please, don't be so formal.
00:33:48Call me Daddy.
00:33:50Daddy?
00:33:52Wouldn't that be unusual?
00:33:54Not really, Toby.
00:33:55You see, someday I hope to be famous.
00:34:00Father image to the disturbed.
00:34:03All I need is one sensational face.
00:34:08Multiple personality, perhaps.
00:34:12Proof that reincarnation does exist, perhaps.
00:34:15The devil is a patient.
00:34:18Perhaps.
00:34:20Perhaps.
00:34:21Perhaps.
00:34:23Perhaps.
00:34:25Perhaps.
00:34:27Perhaps.
00:34:29Perhaps.
00:34:29Perhaps.
00:34:34Somebody's been using my office.
00:34:38Tell me, Toby.
00:34:41How do you feel about sex?
00:34:44What?
00:34:45Did I pronounce it right?
00:34:48Well, you mean between a man and a woman?
00:34:52Yes.
00:34:52Or the species of your choice.
00:34:57Well...
00:34:57Well, I think that sex can be a beautiful thing.
00:35:01If...
00:35:02If two people are in love and...
00:35:05And are married and...
00:35:07And can share and...
00:35:08And care for one another.
00:35:11Ah.
00:35:12Two souls blending into one.
00:35:15Two hot bodies pressed against each other's flesh.
00:35:18Stop.
00:35:20But at the same time, it can be so ugly and...
00:35:23And dirty and disgusting.
00:35:26Yeah.
00:35:27My father.
00:35:28Your father's name was Yuck?
00:35:30Tell me about your father.
00:35:32Did you like Yuck?
00:35:33Oh, no. I hated him.
00:35:35When I was a child...
00:35:37He used to beat me and...
00:35:39And lock me in my room.
00:35:41With him in it.
00:35:42Don't call me daddy anymore.
00:35:44Well, he...
00:35:45He told me that sex was bad and...
00:35:48And dirty and...
00:35:49And your mother?
00:35:50What did she tell you?
00:35:52She also told me that sex was bad and dirty.
00:35:54But only with my father.
00:35:56With everyone else, she said it was great.
00:36:05Thank you.
00:36:07Your fellow students who were murdered...
00:36:10They had sex, didn't they, Toby?
00:36:13Yes, but...
00:36:14But I tried to warn them.
00:36:16But the police say you may be involved in these murders.
00:36:20Why would I kill my best friends?
00:36:22Listen, you've got to believe me.
00:36:25I believe you, Toby.
00:36:27But sometimes the mind plays strange tricks.
00:36:31We do things and afterwards we don't remember doing them.
00:36:35We become forgetful.
00:36:36Did you know that forgetfulness was classified as a mental illness?
00:36:41I didn't do anything I wasn't aware of.
00:36:45And...
00:36:46And I don't feel so well now and...
00:36:48And I'd like to return to class, please.
00:36:50Of course.
00:36:51We'll continue some other time.
00:36:53Goodbye, Sybil.
00:36:55Eve.
00:36:56Toby.
00:36:58Today we will discuss Shakespeare's Hamlet.
00:37:02Who was Hamlet?
00:37:04His dog.
00:37:05His dog?
00:37:06Wasn't he a great Dane?
00:37:07Class.
00:37:11In all my years of teaching, that is the stupidest answer I have ever heard.
00:37:16Go back to grammar school.
00:37:19I know where it is. I'll show you.
00:37:22What about that one?
00:37:23Okay, okay, okay.
00:37:24Be careful.
00:37:25Hey, where's your signature?
00:37:25Hang on.
00:37:26Sorry, man.
00:37:26He stole my car and everything.
00:37:29My legs, my legs.
00:37:30Okay.
00:37:31Hamlet is one of Shakespeare's greatest tragedies.
00:37:34It is the story of a prince.
00:37:36The prince of Denmark.
00:37:38A melancholy man whose mother is sleeping with his uncle.
00:37:42I can relate to that.
00:37:44And how does he solve this problem?
00:37:46Right here!
00:37:51Sorry, I'm late.
00:37:52Take your seat, please.
00:37:54Attention students.
00:37:56As principal, I am obligated to report that Toby Badger has just come from a psychiatric session with Dr. Sigmund.
00:38:03While Dr. Sigmund has not reached any formal conclusion, he does, however, feel there is strong evidence that Toby may
00:38:09indeed be the psychotic killer we've been all looking for.
00:38:13But until this is confirmed at a later date, please treat her just like any other student.
00:38:20Forget you, Toby.
00:38:21My killer.
00:38:29There, there, Harlow.
00:38:31Don't, Fred, you do have a lot on your mind.
00:38:34A lot on my mind?
00:38:35The big day, the big game, the big parade, six big deaths.
00:38:39You'd call that a lot on my mind?
00:38:41Here.
00:38:42Speak to the student bodies.
00:38:43You know how you like having your voice amplified.
00:38:47Good afternoon, students.
00:38:49This is Mr. Peters, your principal.
00:38:53I have some good news.
00:38:55And bad news.
00:38:56The good news is, the killer has definitely been identified as a psychotic individual suffering from paranoid schizophrenia.
00:39:04He is armed and dangerous.
00:39:05The bad news is, we have no idea of who it is.
00:39:09If anyone should come across an individual matching this description, please call me at once.
00:39:14But don't do it in front of him.
00:39:15And remember...
00:39:18Mr. Malbert, I wanted to talk to you.
00:39:20If for some reason suspicion should fall on our dear Mr. Peters, we would like you to confess.
00:39:25Well, Mr. Peters is a valuable asset to society, while you are mere scum.
00:39:29What difference would jail make to you?
00:39:31You'll have fun with the boys.
00:39:33Women don't like you much now.
00:39:35I certainly don't.
00:39:37Homosexuality is the up and coming thing.
00:39:44Call the gear.
00:39:47Mine.
00:40:03All right, come on!
00:40:05All right, come on!
00:40:12Man, Wills, how'd you get such great seats? A 50-yard line!
00:40:16Yeah, I used my influence. Give me the money.
00:40:18Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:40:39Dan Hawks! Popcorn! Peanuts!
00:40:41Say a hot dog.
00:40:42Here's your hot dog.
00:40:44You want mustard?
00:40:45Yeah, give me some.
00:40:46How about something to drink?
00:40:48Yeah, I'll be...
00:40:50Hot dog!
00:40:51Hot dog! Here's your hot dog! Here's your hot dog!
00:40:55Here, you want mustard too?
00:40:57There you are.
00:40:59Peanuts!
00:41:00Peanuts!
00:41:04Albert, buy you a hot dog. Didn't you like Albert?
00:41:07Hot dog!
00:41:08OK, mate!
00:41:13Hot dog!
00:41:13Sluts! Sluts!
00:41:14All women alike!
00:41:15All women and Albert!
00:41:19All women and Albert.
00:41:21All right, guys!
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