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00:03What the hell is on?
00:04Thank you for letting us be ourselves
00:06So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:09These simple lines be good for your health
00:11They keep them crime rhymes on the shelf
00:14Live my life like you just don't care
00:16Five thousand leaders never scared
00:18Ranging noise is the moment they fear
00:20Get up, you still appear from my dead
00:23Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:25Get up, you're shooting over
00:39Grab your pencil, vote with your feet
00:41And try not to leave your leg in the polling booth
00:43It's Friday, we're live
00:44And it's time for the last leg
00:48Tonight on the show
00:49We'll check out the results from Gorton and Denton
00:52Review the fallout from Clinton and Clinton
00:54And preview the Paralympics in Milan and Cortina
00:58Plus we'll be joined by comedians Jason Manford
01:01Lou Sanders and Bella Hull
01:02And leader of the Green Party, Zach Polanski
01:05On the show that always jumps headfirst into the news
01:18G'day, I'm Adam Hills
01:19Welcome to the last leg
01:20The show that read the headline Green Wave
01:22And thought what have Thames water dumped in the sea this time
01:24With me as always are the pride of Dartmoor Josh Whittacombe
01:27And the man who thought by election
01:28Is what you're meant to say when you leave the polling booth
01:30Alex Brooker
01:35Nice, this is harmless
01:36It's a bit of innocent fun
01:39We'll bring you all the fallout of Gorton and Denton in a sec
01:41And before we get to that though
01:43Emily said
01:43Is it okay that Josh is on the front cover of Runners World magazine this week?
01:47Well, well, well
01:48I assumed that was a joke
01:49Well
01:50I thought it was a joke and then I saw this
01:55This is me
01:55But that
01:56Why are you laughing?
01:58Because I'm on the cover of Runners World magazine
02:00Because I'm a runner
02:02It's my favourite thing you've ever done
02:04Because I'm sure you feel this way
02:07But like we've known you for 14 years
02:10Yeah
02:10And I've always seen you as like more disabled than me
02:15And this, I love it
02:17This is like you're going
02:18No, I am the able-bodied one
02:20I'm going to show you
02:21I'm going to crouch down
02:22I'm going to balance on the floor with my long fingers
02:27I love it
02:28I had to crouch down
02:29Because look, otherwise I wouldn't have been on the cover
02:31I'd have just
02:34Listen, what I love most about you is
02:36Even on the front cover of a running magazine
02:38You still kind of give off the vibes of like
02:40You know a kid that forgot his PE kit?
02:44I mean, there are other photos inside that are just as remarkable
02:48There's this one
02:49Again
02:51There he is
02:51Look how I can stretch my real foot and point it upwards
02:55That's an action shot
02:57That's how I run
02:59And then there's this one
03:02Again, that one's quite sexy, isn't it?
03:05Look how I can tie up my shoes
03:06Fuck your Velcro
03:10In fact, if you look at all three together
03:11It forms a little story of its own
03:14It's like
03:15I've lost my contact lens
03:17Don't worry
03:18I've found my glasses
03:19Now let's go for a run
03:21I'm really worried about you
03:22You've given up booze
03:23You've moved to the country
03:23You've taken up running
03:24You're two months away from being on the cover of this
03:32Your issue was out on Wednesday, though, right?
03:35Yes
03:35Did you not know that?
03:37No
03:37Your issue was out on Wednesday
03:38Oh, I can't wait
03:39I'm going to go out and buy it
03:42Sorry, I didn't know
03:43Is it not out?
03:45It was in the script
03:49I didn't know what was going on
03:51I'm pretty much Anchorman at this point
03:52If it said Jackie to Seattle, I'd repeat it
03:54LAUGHTER
03:56Let's have a look at Josh's athletic prowess in action on a recent run, though
04:00What's that one?
04:01Oh, no!
04:03Oh, my God!
04:03Is that OK?
04:04Yeah, I'm fine!
04:05No, it's number seven, I'm number seven
04:09Like I said...
04:10I'm good at running, I'm not good at walking
04:12Like I said, I've always seen you as more disabled than me
04:14LAUGHTER
04:15Also, it's good to know that when you get hurt, what happens?
04:18Hillsey asked if I was OK
04:20Yeah
04:20And Brooker just laughed
04:22LAUGHTER
04:23Virginia, if somebody had to have said, right
04:25One of the three in the last leg has fallen over
04:27You'd never go with it
04:29LAUGHTER
04:30Look, we think it's time you get into the trainer market, though
04:33Oh, yeah
04:34The Josh Whittacombe trainers
04:35Michael Jordan's got his own trainers
04:36With the Jumpman
04:37Yes
04:37With this logo, the iconic basketball logo
04:39Oh, yeah, the classic
04:39So I think maybe you could have the tripping man
04:41It could look like this
04:43LAUGHTER
04:44In fact, we've even made up a pair of sneakers with them
04:47Oh, look at that
04:48Oh, look at that
04:49They are cool, Hillsey
04:50There you go
04:51Chuck them over
04:51Yep
04:52Oh
04:54Do you know what?
04:55I'm not as athletic as I thought I was
04:57LAUGHTER
04:58I'm not on the front of catchers world
05:00LAUGHTER
05:00Same here
05:01LAUGHTER
05:03LAUGHTER
05:04Of course, we are live
05:05So you can send us any questions you want to ask us about the news
05:07Message us to Instagram, the hashtags, is it OK
05:09WhatsApp, the number's 07956175908
05:13You can also scan the QR code on the screen
05:15But let's get right into the big story now
05:18Leanne1970 said
05:19Is it OK that the Green Party won their first by-election?
05:22Woo!
05:23CHEERING
05:24You're allowed to vote with your mouths
05:27I know who that is
05:28Mm-hmm
05:29That's Zach Polanski's boyfriend
05:31Genuinely
05:32LAUGHTER
05:33LAUGHTER
05:36Yes, the results are in from last night's Gorton and Denton by-election
05:40Or as you decided to call it, the Mancunian candidate
05:48Now look, this by-election was seen as a huge test for Keir Starmer
05:51Yesterday the polls were predicting a three-horse race between Labour, Greens and Reform
05:55This morning, we woke up to find the by-election had been won by the Green Party candidate, Hannah Spencer
06:01There you go
06:04Who, by the way, also happens to be a plumber
06:06Which is perfect for working in the Commons
06:07Because in order to get the job done, she's going to have to wade through a lot of shit
06:12It's a sign of how quickly Hannah Spencer has risen
06:14That when I checked her Wikipedia page this morning, it said this
06:17This article or section is undergoing significant expansion or restructuring
06:22I mean, typical tradie, starts the reconstruction, then pisses off to another job
06:26LAUGHTER
06:28I love the fact that in her acceptance speech, her winner's speech
06:32She actually apologised
06:34Because obviously now she's doing parliamentary work, she's going to have to cancel a load of work
06:38She's got booked in
06:39A load of plumbing and plastering jobs
06:41I just love the fact that people are like
06:42She's all well and good, but your trust pilot rating is going to plum it
06:46LAUGHTER
06:46Do you reckon there was people that had her booked in that voted reform to try and keep her as
06:50a plumber?
06:52LAUGHTER
06:54Look, I like your policies, but I need you to come and sort out my immersion here next week
06:58Wikipedia even still lists Hannah Spencer's birth year as being 1991 or 1992
07:07LAUGHTER
07:07That's also how you can tell she's a plumber, cos it's an estimate
07:11LAUGHTER
07:12On yours, on yours it says feet, one or two
07:15LAUGHTER
07:16LAUGHTER
07:18See, this is the sort of stuff he comes out with now he's running
07:22LAUGHTER
07:23Funnily enough, I actually met a cabbie last week who's also a comedian
07:26Yeah
07:26By the name of Trevor Bickles
07:28And ever since I met him, he's been...
07:29Trevor Spickle?
07:30No, Trevor Bickles, I know
07:32Of all the names for a cab driver to have
07:33He's been sending me jokes ever since then
07:36To use on the show
07:37Yeah
07:37Oh, here we bloody go
07:39LAUGHTER
07:40Today he sent me a message saying
07:42As a plumber, Hannah Spencer can't wait to start work on Monday sometime between 8am and midday
07:47LAUGHTER
07:48You know what, he's very good, he'll say
07:50I hope you're giving him a tip, cos he's writing your script
07:53LAUGHTER
07:54Hannah Spencer gave an impassioned speech this morning that sounded refreshingly like all the things people in this country actually
07:59want to hear right now
08:01And I was elected because people in this constituency want change
08:06We are sick of being told that there's no alternative
08:10That we should shut up and accept it as our household costs spiral and our wages fail to keep pace
08:16That things which used to be possible, things that were normal not that long ago
08:21Free higher education, reliable and affordable buses, beaches you can safely swim at
08:27Being able to get a dentist appointment when you need one
08:30We're told that now that is too much to ask
08:34APPLAUSE
08:39I mean...
08:41It's just nice to hear someone list the problems in the country and not blame immigrants at the end of
08:45it all
08:45Well, no, if you play the longer clip, she doesn't worry
08:49LAUGHTER
08:51She says she met a cabbie who told her
08:53LAUGHTER
08:54What do you think it is about this type of speech that really cut through?
08:56Well, we live in a world, I can't believe I'm saying this
09:00Yeah
09:00Where for a politician to come across as a normal person is now considered a USP
09:06Like, to have a politician that's comfortable and has, you know, a racial accent and a job that people understand
09:13And isn't just someone who's come up through politics and doesn't look deeply uncomfortable in their own skin as Prime
09:20Minister
09:20LAUGHTER
09:21Is just quite kind of refreshing, I think
09:24I quite like, obviously, I think she spoke really well, but I quite like the fact she said, like, things
09:29that used to be normal
09:30Yeah
09:30Like being able to get, like, a dentist appointment, which now in that area is easier to get than a
09:35plumber
09:36LAUGHTER
09:37And look, it should be pointed out, by-elections are often lost by the government because they're considered to be
09:41a protest vote
09:41But all of this is bad news for Keir Starmer
09:43Because all week he's been sweating like a formal royal in a Pizza Express
09:46LAUGHTER
09:47In fact, this has been his worst week, well, since last week
09:50The Guardian said yesterday, if Labour came third, it'd be hard to see how Keir Starmer stays as Prime Minister
09:55What does this mean for Keir Starmer now?
09:57I... Do you think the Gieser just get... He gets so much bad news
10:00It's getting to a stage now where he's not even going to look at his phone anymore
10:04That bloke has got airplane mode written all over him
10:06LAUGHTER
10:08He... I also think what's interesting for Labour is Andy Burnham
10:12Yeah
10:13He's having a fucking great week
10:15Like, he stood for that, they wouldn't let him stand for it
10:18Yeah
10:18The less Andy Burnham does, the more popular he gets
10:21Basically, if he does fuck all for another year, he'll be Prime Minister
10:25LAUGHTER
10:26And look, now that the Greens have won, can Labour stop trying to be reform-light?
10:31Why give people a half-arsed option when they can go all the way?
10:34It's like when Scotland introduced Diet Iron Brew
10:37It was like, all of the taste, but none of the sugar
10:39Fuck, sorry, I'm here for the sugar
10:41LAUGHTER
10:42I love that you've still got an annoyance with Diet Iron Brew
10:46LAUGHTER
10:47I'm just saying, if people want full-fat culture wars, let them have it
10:50Just be more fucking Labour
10:52And while we're talking about reform, what were they thinking?
10:55You've got a Prime Minister on the ropes, who's blocked a local candidate from running
10:57And you put forward a man that some people think is so obnoxious
11:00He makes Nigel Farage look like Alan Carr
11:02LAUGHTER
11:03Matt Goodwin said women need a biological reality check
11:06And should start having children earlier
11:08That people who don't have children should pay more tax
11:10And he campaigned in a gilet
11:11Which is arguably worse than the first two put together
11:14LAUGHTER
11:17By the way, is there an unsexier phrase than
11:19Women need a biological reality check?
11:22Every ovary in this room just shriveled up in progress
11:25LAUGHTER
11:26Goodwin blamed the election loss on what he called
11:28A dangerous Muslim sectarianism
11:31I think we can all agree that it's absolutely lovely that a man called Goodwin
11:35Has proved to be a terrible loser
11:37LAUGHTER
11:39Also, can reform stop banging on about being the unofficial opposition now?
11:43They've only got eight MPs and four of them defected from the Tories
11:46Yeah
11:46I counted, the Greens have got five
11:48Which means they have more MPs that were elected as members of their current party
11:52Than reform do
11:54Meanwhile, the leader of the Green Party, Zach Polanski
11:56Outlined his busy schedule in a speech to Greens staffers today
12:00And finally, because I've got a few hours of media interviews
12:03And then the last leg, which I'm very excited about
12:06LAUGHTER
12:07That's right, he's coming on the show
12:09Which is just as well
12:10Because it would be fucking weird if his boyfriend was here otherwise
12:13LAUGHTER
12:18I know your party's won
12:20I'm off to the last leg
12:21LAUGHTER
12:22I've got three tickets, Zach
12:24It's really difficult to get them
12:25It's a smaller studio
12:26Jason Manford's on
12:28I couldn't see him in the Producers
12:29Please welcome the leader of the Green Party, Zach Polanski
12:34APPLAUSE
12:46So listen, full disclosure, we asked all the leaders of all parties to come on today
12:50You said yes to this yesterday
12:53So how confident were you then?
12:56Well, did you think I was going to come on live TV with a bunch of comedians?
12:58If I didn't think we were going to win, that would be particularly brave
13:02Look, I've not slept
13:03I've not slept for about two days
13:05What can possibly go wrong on being on TV right now?
13:07It's all going to be fine
13:09So when did you last sleep?
13:11A couple of days ago
13:12Because you have the election day
13:13Then I did a media round this morning
13:14Then the party
13:16Then lots of other things
13:17And then I've landed in this chair
13:18It's a bit like a fever dream
13:20Which is last leg kind of
13:22That's the vibe anyway, right?
13:23Absolutely
13:24You really sound like you're committed to legalising drugs
13:28Right, except for two days
13:33So your take
13:34What's your, you know, takeaway from the result?
13:37Well, largely I'm worried about the call-out charge from sending a plumber from Manchester to Westminster
13:41I think
13:43But quite seriously, this was a victory for Gorton and Denton
13:46But frankly, the entire country
13:47We've seen hope triumph over hate
13:49We've seen courage triumph over cynicism
13:51We've seen I probably need to come up with a third sentence
13:54Because that's what politicians do
13:55But it feels like an incredible victory
13:57God, you are tired, aren't you?
14:00Two out of freaks, right?
14:02I love it when someone butt-blocks themselves in and goes
14:06Oh, fuck this
14:08We've won the election now
14:10You don't need that third thing
14:12And look, I think it's kind of remarkable you won
14:14Because look at
14:15Considering staggering sentiment on the streets like this
14:20I'm not going to vote for the Greens
14:22Why not Greens?
14:24Because two weeks ago when the entourage were in a cafe
14:29They walked out of the cafe and didn't close the door behind them
14:37But I mean, is that...
14:39I mean, they should have done that, I know
14:40But is that a reason not to vote for the candidate?
14:44Actions speak louder than words
14:48I mean, I'm really worried about this
14:51Some people don't close doors
14:52Other people sell state secrets
14:54Notorious paedophiles
14:56I mean, politicians are all the same
15:05Have you identified the door opener?
15:07I mean, I did, like, have nightmares that we were going to lose by one vote
15:10And I was going to be like, if the person would be left the door open
15:14We've had a lot of messages about you being on the show
15:16Mr. Karufa ever said
15:18Is it okay that Zach wants everyone to be allowed to get high on drugs?
15:21I'm not sure that was official policy
15:23It was said...
15:24But I wanted to ask you about this
15:25It was said during the campaign you wanted to legalise all drugs
15:27Including heroin and crack cocaine
15:29Keir Starmer said you were going to...
15:30Or suggested you were going to legalise the so-called date rape drug GHB
15:34So what is the actual drugs policy?
15:37Well, Keir Starmer's...
15:37You know, those are smears
15:39And it's actually outrageous
15:40And I'm on a comedy show
15:41But it's important to pretty much point out
15:43That we have the highest drug deaths in the whole of Europe
15:45So the war on drugs is just not working
15:47That's the first place we need to start
15:49We can't carry on with what we're doing
15:51So what we're saying
15:52And I don't think it's contentious
15:53Is we need to regulate and control drugs
15:55What does that look like?
15:57It looks like making a public health approach about harm reduction
16:00If someone's going to buy a drug
16:01Right now they might go on a street corner
16:03Or down a back alleyway
16:04That's dangerous and that's causing drug gangs
16:06What I'm saying is if someone has a dangerous relationship with drugs
16:10They're addictive
16:11Let's make sure that they have a public health approach
16:13That's in the National Health Service
16:15They can get the support they need
16:16So what would that mean practically
16:18In terms of like
16:20Are shops going to be selling drugs?
16:22Like pubs sell drugs?
16:23The Met Commissioner did ask me
16:24Because where were you when I was a fucking student?
16:27LAUGHTER
16:28We used to have an ice cream van in Manchester
16:31That pretended it was selling students in a queue ice cream
16:35Yeah, and you know who that guy voted for at the election
16:38LAUGHTER
16:39I mean there are drugs that are dangerous
16:41And those clearly need to be regulated really carefully
16:43On the other side of it
16:44I'd say if someone wants a spliff
16:45With the Green Party
16:46You know, you let them get on with it
16:48LAUGHTER
16:50So it'd be...
16:51So it wouldn't be...
16:52You're not talking about to smack in like
16:54Blanket, you know
16:55Going from drugs are...
16:56All drugs are...
16:57You know
16:57All these classes are all illegal
16:59To like just all suddenly
17:00You know
17:00You can go and get them
17:02No
17:02That would be ridiculous
17:03And the fact the Prime Minister is suggesting it
17:05Kind of shows the level that he's thinking of
17:07In terms of actually having a sensible drug policy
17:09This is about a...
17:10Like transition
17:11Making sure it's evidence based
17:13Making sure that it's experts in both drug policy
17:16And also health policy
17:17Who are making these decisions
17:18Well look, there was a lot of what you called Alex
17:20By-election shithousery
17:22LAUGHTER
17:23Labour was said to be behind a bunch
17:25That's a technical term
17:25Yeah, yeah, yeah
17:26Labour were said to be behind a bunch of supposedly independent
17:29Tactical voting flyers that looked like this
17:32Uh...
17:33It looked like
17:34Hey, that's the...
17:34Did you see that?
17:35Were you across there?
17:36I did see it
17:37Yeah
17:37Tactical Choice being a completely fictional company
17:39Made up by the Labour Party, right
17:41Yeah
17:41But then Labour said your lot had dirty tactics too
17:43You had a poll like this in your leaflets
17:45That said
17:46Only the Greens can stop reforming Gorton and Denton
17:48But
17:49That graph
17:50Wasn't polling
17:51That was the percentage of
17:52By which votes would change
17:53So if you looked at the whole poll
17:55Labour was still in the lead
17:57So are you kind of coming up with a dodgy way of presenting that?
18:00I think we need to apologise for that
18:01Because it made Matt Goodwin think that he had a chance
18:03LAUGHTER
18:07Oh, we were so close to getting a genuine apology from a politician then
18:11LAUGHTER
18:13But
18:14Is it a case of
18:15That
18:15That
18:16They're doing it
18:17So you
18:18Have to
18:19You fight back
18:20With similar tactics
18:21Or
18:22I think there's a big difference
18:23So the Labour Party yesterday had a van going round it
18:26With mine and Hannah Spencer's face on it
18:28That said
18:28We wanted to legalise prostitution
18:30For people's daughters
18:31That they were talking about selling crack in playgrounds
18:34I mean it was pretty dystopian
18:35What they were going to
18:36I think there's a tradition in British politics
18:38That there are bar charts where you present your best case
18:41But I would say these are very, very different cases
18:44And I think the problem that we're having right now
18:45Are these things are all being blurred
18:47Ultimately though
18:48I want to see politics cleaned up
18:49I want to see proportional representation
18:50I want to see every single vote count
18:52And yes I want to see a plumber and a plasterer
18:55Become a parliamentarian
18:56So I've done that bit
18:57Now let's make sure that she gets in there and cleans up politics
19:00And look now that you're on your way up
19:01The offers are going to start coming in
19:02Possibly maybe even from magazines
19:05So we'd like to prepare you for that
19:06We've got one over here
19:08Would you mind just going behind that
19:09Putting your head through the hole
19:10Gosh
19:11And
19:12Josh is going to do the unveiling
19:14You know
19:15We think this might be the way to
19:16Take your image the next step
19:18You ready?
19:20My face can't fit in that
19:27Amazing
19:28Oh it looks good
19:29Come on back
19:30Let's have a look at how that photo turned out
19:34Yeah lovely
19:34Absolutely
19:35I can't squat that deep
19:36That's impressive
19:38All right
19:39Do you want to go over that side
19:39Sit with these guys
19:40While I bring on tonight's guests
19:41Yes I do
19:42Three great candidates
19:43Not a gilet between them
19:44Comedians Jason Manford
19:45Lou Sanders and Bella Hull
20:04All right quick thoughts what did you guys all make of the by-election?
20:09Loved it
20:09Loved it
20:10One of my favourites
20:11To be honest
20:12I've never been more disappointed
20:14Than the words by and three way being put together before in my life to be honest
20:19Very disappointed when I picked up the paper this morning
20:22Lou
20:22I liked it
20:24I loved Hannah's speech
20:25Not the one that you showed
20:26The one where she was crying
20:27It does go to show that women do get emotional
20:30And by that I mean when I watched it I cried
20:33And then I cried again watching carol volderman crying watching it as well
20:38Um Bella
20:39Um I'm just like I don't know that much about politics but I was really surprised
20:43That a by-election was national news
20:46Mm-hmm
20:47Because I just think like it's
20:482026 like it's fine to be bi
20:51Yeah a by-election by the way
20:53Even if you're an election like it's fine
20:55Yeah it's when the polls swing both ways
20:57Exactly
20:58Um do you have any questions you'd like to throw at Zach?
21:01Yes
21:02It's scarier than question time right now
21:04Yeah
21:04Hi Zach
21:05Hey Bella
21:05How are you doing?
21:06I'm good thanks how are you?
21:08Um I have one question
21:09So you've um already talked quite a lot about how you like you want to legalize drugs
21:12I just want to ask you if you have any on you right now
21:18Because my dealer is ghosting me
21:22I just have the dopamine from having won a bio
21:26That is so
21:27Thank you
21:31Look if politics doesn't work out comedy is working for you
21:34You have an answer for everything
21:35Oh yeah
21:36Are you Hillsy's taxi driver?
21:40Any other questions?
21:42Well you know like MDMA opens your heart chakra
21:46Right?
21:47We all know that
21:48Yes
21:50Well if like you legalize MDMA and then the reform party
21:54They're sort of you know they're more open-hearted
21:57Would you go to Iron Appa with Nigel Farage?
22:01I don't think there's a drug hard enough to maybe go to
22:04Look now that Hannah Spencer is an MP
22:07As we said she apparently she won't be able to finish all the plastering jobs she's got lined up
22:11So I mean you're gonna have to do it
22:14You're gonna have to step up and you're gonna have to fill the void
22:16So we want to put your plastering to the test tonight
22:19Oh God
22:19We've set up a wall over here
22:21Lou do you want to have a crack against
22:22Yeah
22:23Against Zach see who's the better plasterer
22:25I had a plasterer around my house and I thought I could probably do this
22:27Yeah right
22:28And I actually said that to him and it didn't go down well
22:32I thought that with a comedian
22:36But before we do is there a chance you could call Hannah?
22:39For sure
22:40And maybe get her to judge
22:43Like FaceTime
22:43Oh my God if she's too busy for you it's gonna be so
22:46It's gonna be very very very
22:48Oh if she just sends you to answer phone
22:51Also how much is it for a call out fee now at this time?
22:57It's ringing awkwardly you're gonna have to fill some time
23:00Are you FaceTiming?
23:01I am FaceTiming
23:01What if she answers in a towel?
23:02Oh it's her
23:03Hello Hannah Spencer
23:04Oh my God it's her
23:06Hey
23:15So Hannah first big question and I know we're all wondering it
23:19Were you born in 1991 or 1992?
23:25Shall I reveal this now or shall I like sign up for an exclusive with like OK or Hello
23:33Oh you've changed
23:36Already
23:37Go on
23:38Or do you know what do you know would you do you want to keep it a mystery?
23:41A very personal question
23:41No it's a good point
23:44A good point
23:44You should never ask a plumber her age
23:48How much do you weigh?
23:50How much do you weigh?
23:51Yeah
23:51How much do you weigh?
23:51Yeah how much do you weigh?
23:52Let's go with that one
23:53Can we keep it a mystery?
23:55All right I tell you what
23:56Can we keep it a mystery?
23:57Because I think it will become clear in a few days, a few months
24:00Hannah I'm coming over to take you over to watch the plastering that goes on
24:03Zach and Lou do you want to come with me?
24:12So if you guys would like to we've got a wall here I'm going to show you the wall
24:16Lou and Zach have 30 seconds to plaster as much of the wall as they possibly can
24:21This is a very bad start from Lou Sanders
24:25Lou
24:26Lou can't put a poncho on
24:28There you go
24:30Who does he start the clock?
24:32Sorry is this a live show?
24:35Oh Zach insisted on a poncho because apparently he's only got one suit
24:39Yeah it's true
24:40You've only got one suit
24:41And that's recycling he's so green
24:43Yeah thank you very much
24:45Okay 30 seconds
24:46Your stuff's down here
24:48Plaster away
24:49Can I just say
24:50I fell out
24:50On this side
24:51This side
24:52This side
24:53Yeah the side that's on the camera
24:55Yeah
24:56Oh
24:57I'm going to say
24:59Yeah do you know what?
25:01Zach is legalising drugs he's used to getting plastered
25:08I'm going to say Hannah's loving it at the moment
25:17It's really hard Zach
25:20Okay time's up
25:22Hannah from what you can see there
25:23Who do you think has done the better job?
25:26And don't rig the election
25:29Can you show me again?
25:32He's taking it very seriously
25:34That's Lou's wall
25:35It's like before and after Zach's wall
25:38That's Zach's wall
25:39Oh
25:40Do you know it's tough because they're both really good
25:43No
25:45Fucking hell you're already a politician
25:47Give an answer
25:48Give an answer
26:10See you in a little bit
26:38See you in a little bit
26:39Of course
26:40Just stopped you being sued
26:41Allegedly
26:44Let's get into disability
26:45I love the fact that you didn't have to mention the paedophile bit though
26:50No problem with that
26:51No problem with that
26:52That's fine
26:53That's fine
26:58That's the thing they're really coming down on you
27:04All right
27:05On to disability news
27:07Ben said
27:07Is it okay that John Davidson is facing backlash for his Tourettes at the BAFTAs
27:11Now if you don't know this
27:11John Davidson is a Tourette syndrome campaigner
27:14His life was turned into a BAFTA award-winning film
27:16On Sunday he was at the awards ceremony
27:18Where his Tourettes caused him to shout involuntary noises
27:21Some of which were massively offensive
27:23One was a horrific racial slur
27:24Another said proceedings were boring
27:26And on another occasion
27:27He shouted the word paedophile
27:28When the host made a joke about Paddington Bear
27:32And if anyone saw Paddington's attempted jokes later in the show
27:36You'll know that wasn't the worst thing to happen to him that night
27:39And look we can't imagine what it must be like to have a racial slur shouted at you
27:42No matter the reason
27:43But we do know what it's like to be disabled
27:44There has to be a duty of care
27:46To make sure people with disabilities are supported
27:48There also needs to be a duty of care
27:50To make sure people of colour feel they're in a safe space as well
27:53And it feels like none of this was effectively done on the night
27:55The BBC have apologised for airing the racial slur
27:58BAFTA have also apologised
27:59Michael B. Jordan and Delroy Lindo said
28:01No one from BAFTA spoke to them immediately afterwards
28:04To explain what had happened
28:05Although Paddington did offer them a hug and said
28:07I know, tough crowd
28:09The BBC have said they are now investigating the incident
28:12The BBC apologise and investigate so many incidents these days
28:17Do you reckon they've just got like a template
28:19That they put out
28:21The BBC apologise for
28:22Insert crisis here
28:24We will launch an urgent internal investigation into why
28:28Insert crisis here
28:31Look let's move on now
28:32Hannah said
28:32Is it okay that the UK have made two high profile arrests in a week
28:35Over the Epstein files
28:36And the US haven't
28:38Now
28:38While more allegations have surfaced
28:40About Donald Trump in the Epstein files
28:41Former President Bill Clinton and his wife Hillary
28:44Gave evidence this week
28:45About their ties to convicted sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein
28:49What do we think?
28:50Bill and Hillary
28:50I mean couples that give evidence together stay together
28:52That's a...
28:54I think it's so romantic that they're testifying together
28:56You know like
28:57It's really important to make time for date night
29:00And...
29:03Let's get a hotel in DC
29:07Let's make a weekend of it
29:08Should we match in pyjamas?
29:11That's what they made a weekend of it in the Epstein files
29:14Well Bill Clinton said today
29:16Quote I saw nothing and I did nothing wrong
29:18Which is kind of the 2026 version of
29:20I did not have sexual relations with that woman
29:22You know
29:23It's just nice to see someone from the 90s doing their old hits again
29:26You know
29:27Meanwhile the fallout from the Epstein files continued this week
29:30As activists hung this iconic photo of the Andrew formerly known as Prince
29:33In the Louvre
29:36If you look really closely the red eyes follow you around the room
29:40I mean fair play to them
29:41That was a great stunt
29:42I do think it would have been ballsier to have done this though
29:50She's too old for hair
29:54On Monday
29:55Former ambassador to the...
29:57Well look
29:57Okay you've been watching all of this Andrew stuff
29:59And the Mandelson stuff go down over the past few weeks
30:03What's your take on it?
30:04Are you trying to get me sued?
30:06You know
30:07The monarchy
30:08I'm not a huge fan of the monarchy
30:09And people say
30:10You know
30:10Do I want to abolish it?
30:11But actually I think they're doing a pretty good job of abolishing themselves
30:14I think you know
30:15You're slowly seeing public interest be less and less interested
30:18And I think it's really important
30:20That anyone, whatever public institution they are
30:22Come forward with what they knew
30:23What information they might or might not have known
30:25Yeah
30:26And just come clean on it
30:27And while we're abolishing public institutions
30:28Let's be done with the Labour Party
30:31So thought you were going to say Channel 4 then
30:36On Monday
30:36Former ambassador to the US
30:38Peter Mandelson was arrested for misconduct in public office
30:41After the police were informed that he was at risk of fleeing to the British Virgin Islands
30:45I think he misunderstood what the British Virgin Islands
30:48Yeah
30:50Of all the places
30:53Like
30:54Pete, go to Mallorca's son
30:58Erm, I mean do we think
31:01Do you think he was going to flee?
31:03I feel like the nickname Prince of Darkness was like a bit of a clue
31:07I don't know
31:08Like if I heard that someone's nickname was Prince of Darkness
31:11I wouldn't invite them to my baby shower
31:13Yeah
31:14Erm, but I would ask them on a hinge date
31:17Why?
31:18Because I love a project
31:22Here's an exposing snap of Mendelssohn's arrest
31:26Is that an arrest or is that just that thing where you get caught behind a slow walker on the
31:30pavement?
31:30Yeah
31:31Or when you have like a race with a stranger and the stranger doesn't know they're in the race with
31:35you
31:35That's so funny
31:38That's so funny
31:39That's such a good observation
31:41I thought it was just me Jason
31:43Not just you
31:44No, it's not just you
31:44Not, yeah, just runner's world over there
31:46Yeah
31:48You know the runner's world thing?
31:50It's funny because we all like brag or like drop into conversation
31:53Like oh yeah, I went on a run today
31:54But you've actually done a photo shoot
31:57Yeah
31:58But it's, Mandelssohn is mad that he's sold so many secrets
32:02And if, you know, with Hannah there won't be any leaks because she's a plumber
32:07Oh, absolutely, I needed it
32:09It needed to be said
32:10A little bit
32:11Oh, if you like, if you like, if you like her puns
32:13Yeah
32:14They didn't
32:19Then er, then er, I haven't got one for you
32:22Turns out the person who tipped the police off about Mandelssohn
32:25Was the Speaker of the House of Commons Sir Lindsay Hoyle
32:27But he, yeah, he didn't say what
32:29Like he said he got information
32:30Yeah
32:31I think he's just seen Mandelssohn in boots
32:33Buying some piss booing and one of them little teeth past
32:37He, Lindsay Hoyle got told
32:39Because he was on a work trip to the British Virgin Islands
32:43Yes
32:44What the fuck's that work trip?
32:46He's the Speaker
32:47His job is literally just telling people to be quiet
32:50That's all
32:51Oh the rum is good for my throat, yeah
32:54Peter Mandelssohn complained that the claim he was planning to flee the country was baseless
32:58He's understood to have texted a journalist at 4am
33:01To brief against the Met Police
33:03That's always a sign of innocence, isn't it?
33:074am text, it's not like he's been up all night worrying about it
33:10Better do this now before this thing exists
33:124am text, that's got a real whiff of Zach's drug policy
33:15Yeah
33:16Well, Andrew's reportedly been told to avoid his favourite hobby of horse riding
33:21Well, it's not his favourite hobby, is it?
33:25Let's be honest
33:29Right, Jason, what's his favourite hobby?
33:32Allegedly
33:34I'm learning
33:36Selling state secrets or paedophile
33:37I can't remember one of this is
33:39Opening cafe doors and leaving them open
33:43Unforgivable
33:43Unforgivable
33:44Unforgivable
33:44Should he be allowed to ride a horse?
33:46I feel
33:46I heard a rumour that every time Andrew gets on a horse
33:49The horse breaks its own legs
33:50I think he should be allowed to ride on a horse
33:54But only in specific areas like a lake that's frozen over
33:58I just think it's a weird thing to like stamp down on
34:01Do you know what I mean?
34:02Of all the things he's done
34:03Yeah
34:03Do you know what I mean?
34:04And no horse riding
34:06Do you know what I mean?
34:06Such a weird thing to get annoyed about, you know?
34:10An Australian TV interview surfaced this week
34:12In which a member of the Royal Protection Team
34:14Revealed that the then Prince Andrew's nickname at the palace
34:17Was not a great one
34:19Get ready for this
34:22Did Prince Andrew have a nickname at that time?
34:24Well, his official code
34:26So if he was to come into the palace
34:28He would call out his call sign was Purple 4-1
34:31But he did have a nickname
34:32But it's a bit rude for me to tell you
34:33And I'll tell you
34:35But
34:36You're not going to be able to
34:37Air it
34:38It was just called
34:39Do you want me to tell you?
34:40Yeah
34:41It was called The Cunt
34:52To be honest though
34:54That's not really a nickname
34:55No, I didn't know
34:57You know, who's coming out tonight?
34:59We've got Steve
34:59You've heard of the old monster
35:03You're not going to understand do you T-shirt?
35:07You wouldn't think when they removed his royal name
35:09They also removed that
35:13Look, over the last few weeks
35:14We've illustrated the plight of Andrew and Peter Mandelson
35:16With the Barry Manilow song Mandy
35:18Tonight we're going to win the show
35:19With another Barry Manilow song to wrap up this weekend
35:22This week's events
35:23Get your feather boas ready
35:24But next week also
35:25The Winter Paralympics kick off in Milan, Cortina
35:27The opening ceremony's live on Channel 4
35:29On Friday at 6.30
35:31We're going to be on afterwards of course at 10
35:32After the break we're going to preview it all for you
35:35But to whet your appetite
35:36Here are some of the highlights of what happened in Beijing
35:38Four years ago
35:39We're doing it all for love
35:46We begin with a bang
35:51All that speed
35:53All that talent
35:54I'll give you the world
35:56Benefits Patrick
35:58With a silver in Super G
36:00Beautiful style
36:02Big air there
36:06I hope one of you come back
36:09Gold to China on home ice
36:11Taking it all for us
36:15Doing it all for love
36:18Doing it all for love
36:19Doing it all for love
36:20Doing it all for love
36:21Neil Simpson has tasted gold
36:28And today good night
36:31Good night
36:32Good night
36:34Good night
36:35Good night
36:37Good night
36:47We'll have more last week for you after the break
36:48We'll preview the paras
36:49We'll unmask the mystery guests
36:50We'll see you in a little bit
37:05Welcome back to Last Mag
37:06We're joined by Bella Hull, Lou Sanders
37:08Jason Manford
37:09And Zach Polanski
37:10Now the Winter Paralympics kick off next Friday
37:13The opening ceremony is on before us
37:14The games will be available to watch on Channel 4
37:17It's the 50th anniversary of the first Winter Paralympics
37:20This year the sports include para-alpine skiing
37:23Para-biathlon
37:24Para-cross-country skiing
37:25Para-ice hockey
37:26Para-snowboard
37:27And wheelchair curling
37:28If you're wondering
37:29This creative clip is not wheelchair curling
37:33High
37:36High
37:39High
37:40High
37:40High
37:41High
37:41High
37:41High
37:42High
37:42High
37:43High
37:49What I love is everyone is a bit nervous watching that clip
37:51Until he cheers at the end so they know he was in on it
37:54Yeah.
37:56Medal hopeful GB includes snowboarder Davey Giv,
37:59who's thought to be the first no-sport athlete
38:01with motor neurone disease to compete at the Games.
38:04Other hopefuls include six-time medalist,
38:06Mena Fitzpatrick, and the Paralympic champion
38:09in the Super-G event, Neil Simpson.
38:11There's a whole bunch of others. Very excited.
38:14How excited are you? Do you guys get excited?
38:15Are you a sports fan, Bella?
38:18OK.
38:21I just like the fact that so many of the sports
38:23just look like they've been made up by a PE teacher on snow day.
38:28Like, in just a mad panic to fill an hour.
38:30Get a tea tree and get down that hill.
38:32Get the sweeping brushes out.
38:35Um, Alex is going to unveil...
38:37So, of course, every year there's a mascot,
38:40and Alex is going to unveil the mascot,
38:42our mascot for the Paralympics in a sec.
38:44Do you need to go and prepare the mascot?
38:46Yeah, of course, yeah. I'll go and get the mascot for you, mate.
38:49OK, while Alex does that, here's a montage
38:51of all the Winter Paralympic sports
38:52that we've attempted in the past.
39:16This could be your sport, Alex. Yeah, it could be.
39:22It's not him.
39:24It's not him.
39:24Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha.
39:25Come on.
39:26Fortune and fee and then...
39:27Bless this every girl.
39:30You're as cold as ice.
39:33You're willing to sacrifice our love.
39:38OK!
39:38Yeah!
39:39I got an assist!
39:48Oh, my goodness!
39:50Oh, my God!
39:51I'm so cold!
39:52Oh, my God!
39:52Come on!
39:57Bullshit!
40:02Now, in Paris, we had this little guy, Hans, as our mascot, but we've gone a little bigger
40:09and a little better and a little snowier for Milan Cortina.
40:12Alex, would you like to bring out our mascot for the Winter Paralympics, please?
40:35Oh, shit. You're the one who wants to legalise drugs, mate.
40:44Oh, hang on. Am I in?
40:47There we are.
40:48All right, let's bring on this week's mystery guest.
40:51Bella, Lou and Jason and Zach have to try and work out how this person is connected to the news.
40:55Can we have the mystery guest, please?
40:58We're the one who's the one who wants to get close to you.
41:05So close to you.
41:08Josh, Alex, who's the mystery guest?
41:10This is Keith, Keith has been in the news this week, but why?
41:14Can we have the dramatic lighting change, please?
41:19I've got a card, Josh.
41:21Oh, there's a card with the info for you.
41:23Oh, my God, not out there. Sorry.
41:26I think I just gave Alex a colonic
41:29So this is Keith, but why has he been in the news this week after he got four four four
41:34Tattooed on his arm is it because a he is a coach driver who had his route tattooed on his
41:40arm
41:41B he is a huge fan of his local Chinese take away the blue orchid and exchange for free meals
41:47He had the number of his favorite dish tattooed
41:49Or is it see he's a four far fan, and there was a mix-up at the tattoo studio
41:55We will reveal the mystery guest after the break Josh is also going to wrap up the last seven days
42:01And we're going to end the show with a Barry Manilow inspired musical number for Andy and Mandy. We'll see
42:06you a little bit
42:20Welcome back to Nice Leg
42:21We're joined by Bella Hull, Lou Sanders, Jason Manford, and Zach Polanski
42:26Before the break we challenged our guest to work out how this person was connected to the news. Josh Alex.
42:31Can we have the options again, please?
42:34So this is Keith and he was in the news this week after he got four four four tattooed on
42:38his arm
42:39But was it because he's a coach driver who had his route tattooed?
42:43Is it because he's a huge fan of his local Chinese and at the number of his favorite dishing or
42:49is it because he is a four far fan?
42:50And there was a there was a mix-up at the tattoo studio now
42:54We don't have much time, but what do you all think? I was at press conference this morning. How am
42:57I doing this?
42:59I used to be a journalist
43:05What's your favorite what's your favorite coach then?
43:10Scania. Scania. Scania. Now that's interesting probably the name of a coach, but I wouldn't know
43:16What are your three favorite Chinese dishes?
43:20Spare ribs, egg fried rice, and pancake rolls. Yeah, and that's not a Scottish accent, is it? So that feels
43:25like the four far fan is not right
43:27Okay, we need an answer. We need an answer. What do you think?
43:29I think three. I think it's Chinese restaurant. I think it's Chinese. Have you got another question? Yeah, I think
43:34it's Chinese
43:35Okay, can you reveal the answer, please? The answer is coach driver. It's my root number of my service
43:51You know, you know what I've just seen the little dog paw now and that would be distasteful actually
43:57If it was the Chinese restaurant, it's not fair enough
44:00That would be actually really offensive so I'm glad it's not
44:03I'm glad it's not
44:04What is the dog paw? Does the dog come with?
44:06That's my dog
44:08Awwww
44:08That makes sense
44:09That makes sense
44:10Yeah
44:11That checks out
44:12How long have you been driving that route?
44:14Erm, I've been driving for 16 years
44:18Erm, for Penix Coaches and National Express
44:21Yeah
44:21They're in Gloucester to London
44:23But other coaches do exist?
44:25Yeah
44:26The coaches do exist
44:27And what I love is it's on your arm so that if you've got your arm out the window, passing
44:31drivers know which coach it is as well
44:32Erm, Ken, thank you so much and congratulations
44:35Lovely
44:35Thanks for coming on the show, Ken
44:36Thank you
44:37Thank you, appreciate it
44:38Love you
44:41Erm, we are about to end the show with a song for Andy and Mandy
44:47But before we do, would you please thank all our guests tonight
44:49Bella Hull
44:50Woo
44:52Lou Sanders
44:55Jason Manford
44:57And Zach Polanski
45:02And of course my co-host Josh Whittacombe
45:06And Alex Brooker
45:10We'll be back next week with comedians Nick Muhammad and Vittorio Angeloni
45:14And former conservative politician Penny Mordaunt
45:16Right now though, we want to end the show with a song for both Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and Peter Mandelson
45:21Who have been arrested for misconduct in public office
45:25Now both Mandelson and Andrew deny any wrongdoing
45:27But if they are found guilty, there's a world in which they both end up in prison
45:31And in that world, they might even be cellmates
45:34We're going to take you into that world now with the help of Charlie Baker, Barry Manilow and a very
45:39special guest
45:44His name was Andy
45:46He was an envoy
45:49He flew on a private jet
45:51And he said he couldn't sweat
45:53He said that he just went out for pizza
45:56But when it went a bit too far
45:59He got bailed out by his ma
46:01He was a pompous bore
46:03He worked from three till four
46:05Till half a dozen coppers
46:07Kicked down his front door
46:09Saying, Andrew
46:11Andrew Mountbatten
46:14Your life seems to follow a pattern
46:18Yeah, he's Andrew
46:19Andrew Mountbatten
46:21Sponging and flagging
46:24While drinking and shagging
46:26That was Andrew
46:29He's going down
46:37He's going down
46:38His name was Mandy
46:40He was an MP
46:42That was thirty years ago
46:44Now his stocks are running low
46:46Hung out with Epstein
46:48And wore his hoodie
46:50Though he didn't like females
46:53He got busted for emails
46:55They said he did a crime
46:57His bunk's already mine
46:59I lost my job
47:00I lost my titles
47:01Now we're doing time
47:03Now we're both in
47:05Both in the slammer
47:07They thought I was off to Havana
47:11Yeah, we're both in
47:13Both in the slammer
47:16Diving and ducking
47:18And flying and fucking
47:20In the slammer
47:23We're going down
47:30We're going down
47:31Thanks for watching The Last Lake
47:33My name's Adam Hills
47:34See you next week for The Next Lake
47:36Yay!
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