00:00Hi guys, I'm giving you the life update that you didn't ask for but you're going to get anyway.
00:07So, as you guys know, when BBC cancelled my show, I kind of was at a crossroads and wasn't sure
00:15where I was going and what I wanted to do.
00:18And I had loads of options, like I was, like I toyed with lots of options.
00:22So, I was like, oh, I could open a business, I could, I don't know, do a pop-up, do
00:28some pop-up restaurants and some pop-up kitchens, none of which appealed to me at the time.
00:34And, but I'm still obviously publishing books, cookbooks, which I will and will always love.
00:44But I kind of reluctantly, you know, was scared, like really scared to apply for jobs as I've always wanted
00:52to work with younger children in younger years as a TA.
00:58And I applied for a few jobs and, which in itself was difficult for lots of reasons.
01:06But I applied and I got a job as a TA at a primary school.
01:11And I've got to say, probably one of the best, apart from raising my own children, probably one of the
01:16best jobs I've ever done.
01:17Loved every second of waking up in the morning, always had a spring in my step and turning up for
01:24these beautiful children and showing up for them.
01:28And just, yeah, I loved every second of doing that job.
01:31But unfortunately, doing a job like that, as somebody with a weakened immune system, it just was, played havoc on
01:43my health.
01:44I was, you know, as anyone who, as anyone who, you guys will know, anyone who's worked in a school
01:51setting, you know, there's lots of coughs and colds and bugs.
01:55And I just couldn't get better.
01:57I was just sick all the time to the point where it was affecting my mental health.
02:01And I felt like I just wasn't performing.
02:05And I wasn't, I just felt like I wasn't even my best self because I was always sick.
02:09And I had to make a really tough decision.
02:12One of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make was stepping away from that job.
02:17So, yeah, I had to, I worked with them a little over three months and loved every single second of
02:23it.
02:23And more than anything, I loved just seeing the children grow.
02:28And it made me realise that I, there's certain sectors that I'd like to work in.
02:36And, yeah, so it's just, it's really kind of focused me in some ways.
02:41Because, because I kind of know where I'd like, what areas I'd like to work in.
02:46But unfortunately, with a weakened immune system, working as a TA in a primary school was just proving impossible.
02:53And it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make and just step away from it for
02:57the sake of my health.
03:00But, you know, I've worked with some amazing, amazing people over the last three months and they know who they
03:05are.
03:06And, you know, I was so lucky that the primary school gave me an opportunity to do this job.
03:15And I loved every second of it, but unfortunately it wasn't to be.
03:22So, yeah, but it has really made me think about where I want to be and what I want to
03:26do and what's important to me.
03:28And sometimes you have to make tough decisions in life.
03:31And that's something like for me, if I'd done this a few years ago, it would have, I would have
03:36really just mentally just been, I'd have shut down.
03:39But you just have to, these are just little seasons in life and you have to get through it and
03:45you have to make difficult decisions.
03:46And it's not always easy, but, you know, we do have to make them.
03:50But, and sometimes it's okay to choose yourself and to put yourself first.
03:56And in this situation, I had to put my health first.
04:00I'm better for it health-wise.
04:02Sad? Yeah, really sad, really sad.
04:05Because I'd, you know, made some great connections and, you know, really could see things happening.
04:13And I could just, I could see myself there for years and just really sad about it.
04:17But, yeah, tough decision, but one that I had to make.
04:22But it's given me focus and it's made me realise what I do want to do or what I'm capable
04:27of doing as somebody with a weakened immune system and what I can and can't do.
04:32So, yeah, back to the drawing board, but, yeah, still figuring stuff out.
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