- 7 minutes ago
Gutfeld! 2/21/26 Greg Gutfeld FULL END SHOW | ᗷᖇEᗩKIᑎG ᑎEᗯS Tᖇᑌᗰᑭ February 21, 2026
Category
🗞
NewsTranscript
00:21is that all good evening everyone a new report claims that video
00:29compiled by the Obama Foundation shows that the former president wept in front
00:36of staffers after Donald Trump won the presidency sources say President Obama
00:43was worried about the future of his country you know Kenya body cam footage
00:53revealed dozens of shirtless blindfolded college-aged men covered in food in a
00:58University of Iowa frat basement it was initially thought to be hazing but it
01:02turns out it was just an audition to be one of Don Lemon's assistants thanks to
01:10all the Epstein allegations Prince Andrew has finally been arrested officers were
01:20told not to handcuff him because that would just make him horny they were also
01:29told not to pat him down because that would make him horny they were also told
01:36him not to give him a cavity search because that would just make him horny
01:42weird everything makes him horny a new video is playing on Los Angeles buses
01:48asking riders not to smoke drink or poop on the bus that way you don't disturb
01:55those around you who are masturbating
02:00pick your lane Tuesday on MS now Jasmine Crockett said a Latina woman hid under a desk because
02:08she thought her security guard was an ice agent is she still there asked one man
02:21and is she fat yesterday President Trump announced that since he retook office half a million black
02:31Americans have rejoined the workforce and more importantly one hasn't
02:4267 year old Madonna posed topless with her 29 year old boyfriend you know there were no survivors and
02:53finally on Tuesday Jesse Jackson passed away Joe Biden paid his respects posting this
02:58message RIP mr. October
03:08oh the funny part is they waited for me to laugh
03:13so what's the first thing Democrats do once they're elected into office
03:17besides move out of their parents house
03:20well right after the swearing in ceremony ends
03:23the hand slips off the Bible or the Quran and goes straight into your pocket
03:28and everyone who worked hard and created wealth gets ready to have a
03:32giant leech called the government attach itself to their necks
03:35let's start in New York City where its mayor just unveiled a record one hundred and twenty
03:40seven dollar billion billion dollar budget
03:43which is a lot of money to spend on homeless people freezing to death
03:47and it's to be funded with property tax hikes
03:50because nothing says affordable like making it more expensive to live
03:55it's called the property tax because no gains were realized it's no tax at all
04:00it's wealth confiscation it's just more linguistic deception
04:04like when Leah Thomas refers to his junk as an outie vagina
04:19sorry mark not what it's really so what does that pay for not safety because he's cutting 5000 cops but
04:27don't worry he's pouring millions into racial equity and 6-figure diversity jobs which means if you get mugged you'll
04:33be pleased to know that you'll be
04:34your attacker will soon enjoy a high-paying position on the mayor's staff as a motivational
04:39speaker. But at this rate, the only businesses left in New York will be the talk show hosts
04:45and the masseuses he keeps chained to the radiator. Now let's head to Virginia, where
04:51after winning on the promise of affordability, Governor Spanberger unveiled a flood of new
04:56tax proposals on dog walking, dry cleaning, car repairs, event tickets, counseling, seriously,
05:03taxes on dog walking. She's literally taxing dog and you still have to pick it up. But
05:12if you think that will stop me from setting fire to bags of it on Brian Kilmeade's porch,
05:18think again. Spanberger's also rejoined a carbon program, which is another tax on energy. Again,
05:25they make stuff more expensive, which justifies a program to help the poor pay for it. Now
05:32on to Washington State, where Seattle's mayor Katie Wilson was still supported by her parents
05:36as she ran for office. Trust me, no one was happier that she won than them. She campaigned
05:44on a proposal to tax empty commercial spaces in a city where rampant vacancies are driven
05:50by businesses fleeing the city. So instead of incentivizing owners to attract renters by giving
05:56them a tax break, she wants to tax them even more. Talk about counterproductive. That's
06:01like treating an STD by sleeping with Kid Rock.
06:08Finally, Sacramento. Here comes Bernie Sanders, the guy who shakes his head and thousands of
06:16school kids get a snow day. He's pushing the billionaire wealth tax. Now remember Bernie used
06:25to demonize millionaires until he became one. Now he's targeting the roughly 200 billionaires
06:31in Cali, who, if he took all their money, wouldn't make a dent in the debt. Even more,
06:36just the exodus of rich people cost the state more than the tax will bring in. It's all the
06:41same script. They never say, let's audit waste. They never say, let's incentivize work and
06:46grow our way out of debt. They never say, hmm, maybe we don't need to earmark 15 million
06:51for drag queen auto loans. Because to them, success is measured by money spent, not people helped.
06:58So their first extinct is take more. Because cutting spending would require admitting that
07:04government is too big, which is like expecting the mob to admit that the rolled up rug they dumped
07:10in the desert wasn't really because of tomato soup stains. It's blood. No corrupt enterprise ever
07:19decides to be less corrupt. It's why the same Dems who mocked any attempt to reduce federal spending
07:25and who demonize Doge, once they get in, just demand more of your money. To them, government
07:30isn't a tool. It's a lifestyle brand. And the lifestyle they really want to control is yours.
07:36Let's welcome today's guest. Unlike most of our panelists, she's actually qualified.
07:47Host of the story, Martha McCallum. People think he's a ventriloquist dummy because there's always
07:55a hand up his butt. Comedian Joe Mackey. Doing our show gives him the opportunity to pee indoors.
08:06Host of the Loftus Party Podcast, Michael Loftus. And he's the only man in America who can palm
08:14a land rover, former NWA world champion and host of the Loftus Party Podcast.
08:24First off, Martha, why are you here? Did I do something nice for you? And this is payback.
08:33I never see you. You invited me. I did? Yes. That's all you had to do.
08:37Oh. I invite you all the time and you never say yes. So I wasn't used to you saying yes.
08:43I'm very excited. Very happy. Very excited to be here. Yeah.
08:46Thank you for having me. Yes. It's a pleasure.
08:53How do they still win when they keep doing this? It just leads me to think, Martha,
08:58and I'm not a conspiracy theorist, that all these elections are corrupt.
09:03Well, you know, one of the things that struck me about Momdani, who I did have an interview with,
09:09and I went back and looked at some of the things that he said, because I asked him, you know,
09:13how are you going to do something where you're going to raise $56 million with your programs,
09:17but they cost $9.4 billion. That doesn't make any sense. It doesn't really add up. And he said,
09:23well, you know, we're going to tax the wealthy. We're going to tax corporations more. And then he
09:28said this one, or I said, what if that doesn't work? He said, or buy a pot of money that
09:34wasn't
09:35previously spoken about. Yes. That was the options. That pot of money that wasn't previously,
09:42that's the kind of thing, like dog walking and all the other stuff that you can tax. So he's never
09:47run anything. He doesn't have administrative ability. What people don't realize is that running
09:51things, being a mayor, is basically like a boring administrative job. Yeah. And he just,
09:56and you know what? He doesn't know anybody to talk to, nor does he want to. The only thing he's
10:01ever ran, Joe, or stockings. That just popped into my head, Joe. I jumped off that cliff.
10:10I like that you went for it, Greg. And thank you for getting Martha on the show. And I know
10:14you tell me not to come, but I do anyway. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of awkwardness between you two.
10:21And I mean, she, she's gotten over the fact that you're taken, but I'm glad that we're being
10:29professional about this. Sorry, I broke your heart. I want to tell you, Mara, that Joe is
10:37known around here. I can't believe you actually shared that with everyone. Well, you know,
10:40he's known around here as a lady killer. And I mean that literally.
10:45Maybe it's better that I steered clear. So what do you make of this, Joe? Greg,
10:51it's fascinating. $127 billion is $10 billion more than Florida's entire state budget. And they're
10:58acting like they're taxing the rich. Well, in the New York Post, they said that $120,000 assessed
11:03apartment in the Upper West Side will be assessed at $16,500. That's not a luxury apartment like the
11:10one where you store your jars of urine and live naked. And it's also very interesting. It's like
11:17they're taxing guns and gym memberships in Virginia, which means they're taxing our guns
11:22and they're taxing my guns and they're taxing dog walking. Of course, Democrats want to help cats.
11:29Yeah. It's very interesting because they understand the incentive with the carbon. They're like, oh,
11:35we're going to get people to use less heat. But they don't understand the incentive by saying,
11:40oh, we're going to make it too expensive to have jobs and live somewhere.
11:43No, it's a great point. You know, Michael, you hear about this $120 billion being spent.
11:49You don't notice it in the homeless shelters you sleep in, do you?
11:54No, we haven't. I was hoping for some extra flaps on the cardboard box.
12:02Yes.
12:02But nothing so far.
12:04Yeah. Do you have a nice little flap in your underoos that they give you? The city-issued underoos?
12:10Yes. The city-issued underoos are the best ones.
12:13Yes. They have pictures of Bill de Blasio on them.
12:23Here's what we should do. Every time somebody like Mom Donnie or this Spamburger chick,
12:29they try to raise taxes, they have to get like a facial piercing, right? Like a nose ring,
12:35a bunch of ear ring. That way you'll just hear them jingling and you'll know to grab your wallet.
12:39Here we go. Spamburger, this seems racist, her taxes. She's like, oh, gym memberships,
12:46home improvements, car improvement, dog walking, counseling. This is a honky tax.
12:52Yeah.
12:52She's doing a honky... She might as well start taxing like mayonnaise and white bread and slow dancing.
12:58But you...
13:00Dog walking, the gym.
13:03The gym?
13:04She's going after gay white men.
13:07That's right. And here's what I want. I want a tax...
13:10Is there something you got to tell us?
13:13Not here. Not in front of Martha.
13:15I got it.
13:17Well, she broke your heart too, huh?
13:20Still getting over it.
13:22They don't like the homeless guys.
13:26I would propose Spamburger come to her senses. Pretty soon she's going to be taxing the opera.
13:33Yeah.
13:34And that's where I draw the line.
13:36Yeah.
13:37That's where I do the lines. You know, guys, you know what gets me...
13:40Hold on. Let that breathe. That was good, Gutfeld.
13:42I know the other one earlier sucked, but that was good.
13:44You know what kills me? You know what kills me? Spamburger tricked people into thinking she was a moderate.
13:50And there were people here, I won't mention names, Tina, that said, oh, she's a moderate.
13:55She's as left as they come.
13:56Look, they didn't trick anyone.
13:59They rely on, I'm just going to say it, on American...
14:03His ability to be stupid.
14:05Yeah.
14:05We have a lot of stupid people in this country that just read sound bites.
14:09And if you look, the Mondami got...
14:10He got in because he had good social media and no one to run against.
14:14Let's be honest.
14:14Yeah.
14:15People don't care about voting low level anymore.
14:17They just don't care.
14:18They're like, oh, I'm a Democrat, whatever.
14:20And until people start paying attention and realizing that if someone's got time to do tweets,
14:25and even in his tweets and his videos, he still sucks.
14:28If a guy goes to a bench competition, forget the fact that he...
14:33And this, Mackie was more upset because if you disrespect the gym, you got to answer to Mackie.
14:38But you knew full well going in that there was going to be a bench press.
14:41Hold on.
14:42Let's just take a moment for everyone.
14:44If you don't know what the Mackie is, do you guys know what the Mackie is?
14:46I'm going to show you now.
14:47You got to cross your arms in the most judgmental, smirk of you face you can make.
14:57But having said that, they rely on the laziness of the American voter and the people.
15:03And that's why people like this get in.
15:05He's in because the people who vote for him, government doesn't affect them.
15:09We need to start...
15:10There's a lot of people in America that can go their entire life without voting or watching the news and
15:14be just fine.
15:15And those are the people they get on with, these people that are all substance.
15:19I mean, they're all hustle and no substance.
15:21All right.
15:21We must move on.
15:22Also, like 8 million people in New York City didn't even vote.
15:25My point, man?
15:25Yeah.
15:26Up next, Trump loves blacks.
15:30I don't deserve him.
15:39This week during the White House reception for Black History Month, or BUM, one must wonder, does Trump love Nicki
15:46Minaj?
15:47I love Nicki Minaj.
15:49She was here a couple of weeks ago.
15:51She's so beautiful.
15:52Her skin's so beautiful.
15:54I said, Nicki is so beautiful.
15:55Her nails, her nails are like that long.
15:59I said, I said, Nicki, are they real?
16:02She said, her nails are that long.
16:07I said, I said, Nicki, are they real?
16:10She said, you know, she didn't want to get into that.
16:14But she was so beautiful.
16:16I thought so great.
16:17And she gets it.
16:19More importantly, frankly, she gets it.
16:22Yep, she gets it.
16:24Then there was a moment where Trump gave some great advice to Ben Carson.
16:27I wonder if it was, be careful.
16:29Don't fall, Ben.
16:30Be careful.
16:31Don't fall, Ben.
16:32If you fall, that's the end.
16:34You can never recover from a fall.
16:37You can make the greatest speech ever.
16:39But if you fall, my predecessor taught me that.
16:45Nice.
16:51Speaking of, you never know what he never would have heard from a room full of.
16:56Heard from a room full of.
16:59This.
17:06Yeah, of course, a room full of cheering black Trump supporters doesn't fit the media's narrative
17:11that Trump is a racist.
17:12Yet they keep trying to ring that bell.
17:14Like this week at a press briefing where CBS tried to pull that stunt with Caroline Levitt,
17:19but he wasn't having it.
17:21Yesterday in his statement about Jesse Jackson, the president said, despite the fact that I'm falsely and consistently called a
17:26racist,
17:27by the scoundrels and lunatics on the radical left, Democrats all,
17:30it was always my pleasure to help Jesse along the way.
17:34Where or when does the president believe he's been falsely called racist?
17:40You're kidding, right?
17:43You're kidding, right?
17:45I think the laughter should tell you you're a douchebag.
17:49Most of them know that the left's been calling Trump racist for years,
17:53and it's not like they even tried to hide it.
17:58His vile, racist, and malignant behavior.
18:02The president of the United States is racist.
18:05He is a thin-skinned racist.
18:09He has been racist.
18:11The most racist presence we've had in modern history.
18:14Joe, of course, is the last guy who should be calling anyone a racist.
18:17He still owns three slaves.
18:22Tyrus, I love it when he goes, where or when?
18:25Like she's supposed to produce these receipts,
18:27and because she doesn't have a montage ready.
18:29I'm actually, Caroline Levitt, I think,
18:32is one of the quickest on-the-draw press secretaries of all time.
18:41Having said that, she missed the boat on this one.
18:47Because my preparation is legendary.
18:51Yes, yes.
18:52She's still working in the offices.
18:55But her answer was simple when he hit her with that question.
18:57It should have been just simple like,
19:00oh, you want some examples?
19:01Okay, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday,
19:05for the last 10 years.
19:08So it's like it's every day.
19:10So you don't need a montage to it.
19:12But I just want to say something.
19:14His question from the jump was just soaked with ignorance.
19:18It wasn't even the racist part.
19:20It was the Jesse Jackson part.
19:22Yeah.
19:22So let me, Jesse Jackson,
19:24I remember I was in Mount Gleeson Junior High School,
19:27and I watched Jesse Jackson's debate against Michael Dukakis,
19:31caucus, whatever.
19:32We couldn't say it back then because you get put,
19:34soap get put in your mouth if you say it wrong.
19:37But I remember watching,
19:39and I remember him.
19:41It was not only backing pain,
19:43it was supporting him,
19:44it was helping him.
19:45So when he says that in reference to,
19:48I was,
19:49and in,
19:49President Trump would answer,
19:51was so humble.
19:53I was glad I could help him along the way.
19:56See,
19:57here's a little thing.
19:58I've been around a racist person or two in my lifetime.
20:01They don't,
20:02they take credit for everything.
20:03If it wasn't for me,
20:04your black ass would have never been on TV.
20:06No way,
20:06that's my wife.
20:07But I'm just saying like,
20:09but I'm just saying his humbleness tells it all.
20:13So when it comes to that racist stuff,
20:15back up off him.
20:17He's just doing his job.
20:19You know,
20:22Michael,
20:24I watched the crowd chanting,
20:30crowds chant for you
20:32when you're on the roof of a building.
20:34Yeah.
20:35Yeah.
20:36They're like,
20:37jump,
20:37jump.
20:38Yeah.
20:39Go.
20:39It's not worth it.
20:40I'm like,
20:41you guys.
20:45I'm delighted with Trump.
20:47This has just been,
20:48and it's,
20:48I love that he's still taking shots at Joe Biden.
20:51Yes.
20:52Everybody's like,
20:52he's down,
20:53Don.
20:53He's down.
20:54Let it go.
20:55No,
20:56one more.
20:56He was a moron.
20:58Bang.
21:00It's fantastic.
21:01And this thing with Nicki Minaj,
21:04it's like some great,
21:05like network executive put this together.
21:08You know,
21:09it's the teammate that no one expected.
21:11It's Don and Nicki together again.
21:14They could tour.
21:15Yes.
21:16They could really,
21:16like,
21:16he could maybe rap a little bit.
21:18She comes out.
21:19She,
21:20she dances.
21:21He does.
21:22He does the YMCA.
21:25Then he grabs the microphone.
21:27He's like,
21:28my name is Don,
21:29and I'm a Capricorn.
21:30I've been loving America since the day I was born.
21:33Yeah.
21:39Joe,
21:40it must bother you to see Nicki Minaj so enthralled with Donald Trump after that torrid relationship you had with
21:46her.
21:48Honestly,
21:48Greg,
21:49I would have done a better job complimenting her because he only complimented her appearance.
21:54When you want to impress a woman,
21:56you have to compliment other things she does that are more about what's inside.
21:59I would have said,
22:00you've got a beautiful butt.
22:02Yes.
22:03but also your,
22:05your beauty is so amazing and,
22:08and extraordinary that it makes me want to pretend to listen when you talk about politics.
22:16He could have said something like,
22:18you're talking about what's,
22:19you know,
22:20what is beneath the skin.
22:22It's like,
22:22you have a beautiful butt,
22:23but you,
22:23what,
22:24what,
22:24what,
22:24the butt inside,
22:26but what's inside the butt.
22:27Yes.
22:28Is what's really beautiful.
22:30Hey,
22:30Hey,
22:31Martha,
22:31thanks for coming on.
22:33Martha.
22:35Yes.
22:36Do you honestly believe that that CBS reporter didn't know what he was saying?
22:42Or like,
22:43I,
22:43I,
22:44I,
22:44on the five,
22:44I compared.
22:44I think it was like a really brilliant question.
22:46Like,
22:47yeah,
22:47I'm going to really nail her today.
22:48Yeah.
22:49Yeah.
22:49Give me an example of when he was falsely.
22:51And I just,
22:52I loved her comeback.
22:53And,
22:54you know,
22:54just like,
22:54are you kidding me?
22:56But I do also love the relationship with Nicki Minaj.
23:00And the first time they were together,
23:01they were holding hands.
23:02Yes.
23:03You know,
23:03and she had those long,
23:04beautiful nails.
23:05And then it was sort of one of those moments where I'm thinking like,
23:09and so I loved all those beautiful ladies at that,
23:13um,
23:13at that reception yesterday.
23:15Every one of them is like,
23:16can I give you a hug?
23:17Yeah.
23:17Can I give you a kiss?
23:18Can I give you a hug?
23:20It's,
23:21people don't get the reaction they have to him is not the way white female liberals have.
23:29They see,
23:30white female liberals see him as the dad who doesn't love them.
23:34And everybody else sees him as their favorite uncle.
23:37You know?
23:38Anyway,
23:38you know,
23:39they don't all have to win.
23:41Up next,
23:42Epstein File Bombshells.
23:47If you'll be in the New York area and would like tickets to see Gutfeld,
23:50go to foxnews.com slash gutfeld,
23:52and click on the link to join our studio audience.
23:57Heftiest eel nips.
24:00Tiniest pea shelf.
24:03Oh,
24:04the Epstein Files.
24:10Ghislaine in bed with the Clintons,
24:13Joe newly released docs seem to totally contradict Hillary's past words,
24:17saying she only met with Epstein's Madam on a few occasions.
24:20The files show that Maxwell played a very central role in setting up the Clinton Global Initiative,
24:26or G or CGI.
24:29Hmm.
24:29Hmm.
24:30Even arranging to wire a million bucks for work on the, quote,
24:33Clinton project.
24:35G.I.
24:37Hmm.
24:38Even arranging to wire a million bucks for work on the, quote,
24:41Clinton project.
24:43What could that project be?
24:45Perhaps it's Bill's genitals.
24:51You know,
24:52they don't have to be clever.
24:54It just seems to be a trend tonight.
24:56Hmm.
25:00That's tough to follow,
25:01but I'll do my best.
25:03I'm not surprised by this.
25:04I'd be shocked if Hillary Clinton ran a charity that actually helped people and didn't enrich her,
25:10but I feel a little bad for Prince Andrew,
25:12because as far as British royalty goes,
25:14he was just born too late.
25:16A few centuries before that,
25:17you'd have, like,
25:18prima nocta to look forward to.
25:20Yeah.
25:21You could, like,
25:21have your wife imprisoned and beheaded if,
25:25you know,
25:25she got...
25:26Mouthy.
25:26Too mouthy.
25:27I don't want to say it, but...
25:31which is even more frustrating that
25:34I kind of feel like the Trump administration botched the rollout.
25:37So,
25:37it really didn't have anything to lose by it.
25:39Yeah, you know,
25:40I hear Hillary has an actual legitimate charity.
25:43She gets disadvantaged people in prison fresh rope.
25:48Martha,
25:50brought up Prince Andrew getting arrested on his birthday.
25:54on...
25:55I know.
25:57On suspicion of misconduct in public office over his Epstein connections.
26:01You follow the royalty very closely.
26:05You're a royal expert.
26:07What...
26:07What do you...
26:08What's your vibe on the...
26:09Is this the end?
26:09Well, I'm glad you brought that up.
26:11Um,
26:11because I looked at that picture of Prince Andrew coming out in the car today.
26:16Did you see his face?
26:18Yes.
26:18In the back of the car,
26:18and he's like this.
26:19And I was like,
26:19who does that remind me of?
26:21And then I realized,
26:21you know,
26:22my kids watch a lot of Harry Potter,
26:23and I feel like this is a great comparison,
26:25so I have this made for you guys.
26:29Wormtail...
26:30...true.
26:32So...
26:32Wow.
26:33Doesn't he look like Wormtail?
26:34Yeah.
26:35Was Wormtail ever...
26:37And you know what?
26:41I believe Wormtail was also on the Epstein jet.
26:44Right?
26:46God knows what he was doing there.
26:47You know,
26:48Loftus,
26:49living on the streets,
26:51would you have taken money from Ghislaine?
26:54I would not.
26:55No?
26:56I would not.
26:57No, you wouldn't.
26:57I'd be like,
26:58be gone.
27:00Whore.
27:06I can't stand these Epstein people.
27:08Yeah.
27:09I'm investing in wood chippers.
27:11Yeah.
27:11That's...
27:12We need a lot more like...
27:13for these people.
27:16I was delighted.
27:18Happy birthday.
27:20Where are we going?
27:22Yeah.
27:23Yeah.
27:24The police shows up,
27:25and he just immediately thinks they're strippers.
27:27Yeah.
27:28Oh, that would have been fun.
27:30Yeah.
27:31Okay, all right.
27:32Arrest me.
27:33Wow.
27:34Hey!
27:34They get female cops to arrest them.
27:37Oh, yeah.
27:38I love this.
27:39Should I sit down on the chair?
27:41Oh.
27:41This is...
27:42Let me get the royal robe on first, everyone.
27:45Oh, my God.
27:46Yeah.
27:46It's my birthday.
27:47He kept asking Epstein, like,
27:49when are we going to have more fun?
27:51I know.
27:52Today, actually, on your birthday.
27:54He's not even a prince anymore.
27:55He's the weirdo formerly known as prince.
27:58That's right.
28:00And I hope he's in jail.
28:02It's...
28:03It's...
28:03And I think he's kind of ducking,
28:05because Congress...
28:08I don't want to go.
28:09I don't want to go.
28:11And I...
28:11I bet he wants to go now.
28:12Yeah, right?
28:14I was ready for Donald and the gang
28:16to do the old Maduro snatch and grab.
28:19Right.
28:20We will bring your pasty white ass to justice.
28:23It is funny, though, Tyrus.
28:26Joe says the rollout wasn't that great.
28:29But do you think that Trump was just like,
28:32throw it all out there?
28:33Because I know...
28:33I'm sure Trump was,
28:34and there was probably rules and some lawyer crap.
28:37Yeah.
28:37But that's not what this story is about.
28:39This...
28:39The...
28:40What we were talking about in the beginning,
28:42the legendary story in this
28:44about Hillary saying that she'd only met her twice.
28:47I think we need to re-look at the whole relationship
28:50between Bill and Hillary,
28:52because that's a line that a cheater says.
28:55Yeah.
28:55What are you talking about?
28:57I don't even know who she is.
28:58I don't even know who she is.
28:59Never met her before in her life.
29:01Oh, really?
29:01Because there's...
29:02You started a charity together,
29:03and she cut a check for you for a million dollars.
29:05I said I didn't know that woman.
29:07Back up off me.
29:08I'm just doing my job.
29:11It is a good question.
29:13Speaking of, is Baywatch back?
29:21Oh, hell yeah.
29:22Such a red-eye show.
29:27Baywatch brings hot bods back.
29:29All right, Loftus.
29:31I know you don't own a TV, but here goes.
29:33Fox is rebooting Baywatch
29:36and searching high and low for Baywatch babes.
29:39They put out a casting call in L.A. this week
29:41looking for hot people to be in the reboot,
29:43which will debut in 2026 this year.
29:46If you live in L.A., you know,
29:48you could be there right now,
29:49creeping on all the hot beach babes.
29:52Yeah, that'd be pretty awesome.
29:54Yeah, you could just say,
29:55you live at the beach.
29:56I'm a producer.
30:00Out of ideas, Hollywood is bringing back Baywatch.
30:04Baywatch was popular at a time
30:06before people had the internet, right?
30:09So there was things that you couldn't get from the internet
30:11because it didn't exist,
30:13so you would watch Baywatch to have your alone time.
30:16I don't think anybody was watching Baywatch for the plot.
30:21You know, if you caught me watching Baywatch
30:24back when it was on,
30:26there was probably also a box of Kleenex nearby.
30:31Really?
30:32Because it was a sad episode.
30:34Thank you for cleaning that joke up.
30:37Tyrus, is this another piece of evidence
30:40that the body positivity movement is done?
30:42They're not looking for fat, fat ladies.
30:45Do we know that?
30:46Yeah, it's true.
30:47Do you have any evidence
30:48that the new Baywatch will be blue-haired piles of...
30:55And they never water
30:56because there's more than 10 steps
30:58and then they get triggered
30:59and then they have to go into the safe space
31:01while the person's drowning.
31:04And then somebody says,
31:06hey, aren't you going to save that poor kid?
31:08You're triggering me, sir.
31:10You're triggering me.
31:11You can't do CPR because...
31:14You can't do CPR.
31:14You've got to ask permission.
31:15You ask permission.
31:16That person's unconscious.
31:17You know, and then you get sued
31:18because the sir you were trying to help
31:21was supposed to be ma'am,
31:23but you were confused
31:24because you were trying to...
31:27You were trying to...
31:28Balls back in his bathing suit.
31:30You know, so it's just...
31:31I don't think...
31:33It could happen.
31:35I'm just saying.
31:36I just feel like it's not going to be Baywatch.
31:41No.
31:41It's going to be Woke Moat.
31:43You know, it's a...
31:43But, you know, Martha,
31:45if Kamala had been president,
31:47it would probably be called Gaywatch
31:49and you'd have non-binary skinheads.
31:53Do you think?
31:54I don't know.
31:55I just came up with that.
31:56Are you excited?
31:57About Baywatch?
31:58No, I agree with you
32:01because we don't really need Baywatch, right?
32:04I mean, it's like...
32:04I feel like it's everywhere.
32:05I feel like every teenage girl on Instagram
32:08is, like, starring in Baywatch, you know?
32:10Taking pictures of herself
32:12in scantily clad clothing.
32:17And...
32:19Maybe Pam Anderson wants to come back.
32:21And she does the, like,
32:22very natural no-makeup thing.
32:24She's a serious actress now,
32:25so maybe she should be back on Baywatch.
32:27Ooh, yeah.
32:28And that would kind of go in your direction.
32:30She could play the local psychic.
32:32But there's also...
32:33We don't have any real stars anymore.
32:34That solves crimes.
32:35Maybe there should be...
32:36She could be the local psychic
32:37that solves crimes.
32:39No makeup, her hair's all over the place.
32:41Yeah, and it can't be ageist.
32:41Like, you have to have older people allowed
32:43to be on the Woke Baywatch 2.
32:45Joe, your phone must be ringing off the hook, right?
32:49They wanted me to audition, Greg,
32:51but I wanted my character to be a lifeguard
32:53that was embarrassed to take his shirt off.
32:55Yes!
32:57And I did try the running scene,
33:00and there was a lot of jiggling
33:02even when it wasn't in slow motion.
33:04It just...
33:08I think you would have been great.
33:09I think you...
33:11I think you would have been great.
33:13I think you would be the nerdy lifeguard
33:17that ends up saving the day.
33:19Yeah, because I would...
33:20I'd be like, someone's drowning.
33:22Better go over there and help.
33:25No, you'd MacGyver it.
33:27You'd come up with some weird device
33:28from seashells that would save people's lives.
33:30Bring MacGyver back.
33:31I was in that series.
33:32Were you?
33:32Yeah.
33:33Really?
33:33I did a montage.
33:34I got to use my hands and build stuff.
33:35Oh, that's nice.
33:36Yeah.
33:37Just random.
33:38Just thought I'd throw that out there.
33:39That's a little...
33:39That's way better than my Baywatch story.
33:41I have a few Baywatch stories,
33:43but we'll save it.
33:44Up next, U2 hates America.
33:53U2 arrives late to protest.
34:05All right, so that was a clip, Martha,
34:08from a really song by U2 called
34:13American Obituary.
34:14It criticizes Trump supporters and ICE
34:16as people of the lie,
34:17calling for America to rise up.
34:19I was curious.
34:20I did research.
34:20I don't think U2 has ever done
34:22like a song about victims of criminal illegals,
34:26like all the dead women.
34:28But now they just somehow show up
34:31because virtue signaling is cheap today.
34:33There's no song for Lake and Riley,
34:35any of the young victims.
34:38It's a good point.
34:39I also had to do the research
34:40and watch this really stupid song and video
34:43in my office today.
34:44And the worst line in the whole thing
34:46is crush like...
34:48today.
34:48And the worst whole thing
34:50is crush like a coffee cup
34:52because it rhymed with something
34:54in the beginning.
34:55Crush like a coffee.
34:56I mean, it's like...
34:57It is.
34:58It's so late and so weak.
35:00And you look at the things that...
35:02You know, these people
35:03injected themselves into situations
35:05that we covered very closely.
35:06But they don't know...
35:07It's a tragic death.
35:09But you're right.
35:10These are instances...
35:12Bono did not try to do
35:13any research on this.
35:15So, like, you're explaining
35:16what happened and he has no...
35:18He'll probably go,
35:18Oh, really?
35:19I'm convinced, Joe,
35:21that he's in the Epstein Files.
35:23That's why he did this.
35:25Right?
35:25He's like,
35:26Oh, I'm in the Epstein Files.
35:28I better do a virtual signaling protest song.
35:30How much do you want to bet?
35:31Bono is in the Epstein Files.
35:33How much do you want to bet?
35:35I'm not a gambler
35:36after I was betting
35:38on those backyard brawls.
35:39But...
35:41I will say that, you know,
35:43you criticized America First people.
35:46And a lot of people think
35:48great guy.
35:49I always think of a Fulton Sheen quote.
35:51It was,
35:51Don't ask how much you give,
35:53ask how much you have left.
35:54And Bono's giving a lot of money
35:55to charity,
35:55but he's also a billionaire.
35:56And I think if you had
35:58a billion dollars, Greg,
35:59you'd probably give some money
36:00to charity.
36:01I would.
36:02I don't know.
36:04But...
36:07He did move the ban
36:09to the Netherlands
36:10to get out of banning taxes
36:11on his royalties taxes.
36:14I don't know how to go.
36:15But it's like,
36:16the reason why I find this offensive,
36:19because I really don't care,
36:21but it's challenging you
36:24to make a choice.
36:25Like, we don't care
36:27about murdered girls.
36:28We hate the people
36:30trying to get justice
36:31for the murdered girls.
36:33That's the choice
36:34they're making.
36:38Crazily.
36:39Yeah.
36:39You know?
36:39And to write a song,
36:41not about the guy
36:42who almost got run over.
36:44Yeah.
36:44Right?
36:45Bono's, you know,
36:46he's writing it
36:47from her perspective.
36:48She put the car into drive
36:50and she floored it.
36:51It's really horrible.
36:53It's right.
36:54It's so adolescent.
36:55It is.
36:56He used to be,
36:57but I hate to say,
36:58I loved U2.
36:59Yes.
37:00Boy is probably
37:01one of the greatest
37:01debut albums of all time.
37:04And I hate them now.
37:06Exactly.
37:07And they should stay away
37:08from anything
37:09about immigration whatsoever,
37:10because they did that album
37:12that illegally immigrated
37:14onto my phone.
37:15That's true.
37:16The free one.
37:16Very good point.
37:17Nobody liked it.
37:18Nobody liked it.
37:19Very good point.
37:20Nobody liked it.
37:20And just like an illegal immigrant,
37:23it wouldn't leave my phone.
37:27You two is Molly
37:29to my phones, Minnesota.
37:34Tyrus,
37:36they always show up
37:38when it's easy.
37:39They never show up
37:40when it's hard.
37:41The truth isn't profitable.
37:43Yeah.
37:44And writing a song
37:45about heartache
37:46and hardships
37:47of real people,
37:48that message goes somewhere.
37:50I think the reason
37:51why you're so upset
37:52is because a lot of you guys
37:53that don't know this,
37:53Greg is,
37:54he only does this TV stuff
37:56to support his music habit.
37:59No, I'm serious.
38:00Like he,
38:00when it comes to me,
38:01every album that comes on,
38:02I'm the only one on the set
38:03that actually tells the truth
38:04and it's like,
38:05I don't know who that is, Greg.
38:06And then he'll give me
38:07a long, long background.
38:09And then I'll get an email
38:10with five or six more paragraphs
38:12about the band
38:12and where they came from.
38:14So, and you would like to think
38:17he would have mature,
38:19like if you're gonna write a song
38:20about both sides
38:21and effects or whatever,
38:22but what it really comes down to
38:24is this would,
38:26if this would have been
38:26a good song,
38:27if it would have had a good riff,
38:29you would have been okay with it
38:30because it was a good song.
38:31And I think most of us
38:32have been like,
38:32yeah, he's dissing us,
38:33but man, this is a good song.
38:34Yeah.
38:35But the song sucked.
38:36Yes.
38:36It's a terrible song.
38:38And now people will stop
38:39correcting me
38:39because I've been saying
38:40my entire life
38:42his name was Boner.
38:45And I think now,
38:47based off that song,
38:48I'm right
38:49because he's a real dick.
38:50Yes.
38:52You know what?
38:56I can't believe Cher
38:58was married to him.
39:00I know.
39:01I can't believe he survived.
39:03He was the mayor of Palm Springs.
39:04That was Sonny.
39:11Go away.
39:13Go away.
39:14Go away.
39:14Go away.
Comments