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Short filmTranscript
00:06I know we're older now and lost again
00:17Down at the cul-de-sac you left, my friend
00:28Will you come back, come back again?
00:38Will you come back, come back again?
00:48I put the kettle on, the wise man's song for you
01:11Hello, Michael
01:19Morning
01:20Morning
01:22Yeah, I was just wondering about your garden, actually mate, to be honest
01:27What about it?
01:28Well, I mean it's getting a bit overgrown now, you know
01:31Starting to cut out a lot of light, so
01:33Right, well I'll sort that then
01:36Wicked, okay, do you reckon you get a chance?
01:38Definitely
01:39Awesome
01:39Did you get a letter from the council?
01:41Probably
01:42I never opened them
01:43Bloody council, eh?
01:44Always after something
01:46Well there might be one about the, erm...
01:49Doesn't matter
01:51You reckon you get a chance though?
01:53Take it back a bit
01:54Yep
01:54Yes
01:55Awesome
01:55Awesome
01:56Alright, see you later, buddy
02:01Cheers, Cliff
02:02It's Clive
02:05See you soon
02:07See you soon
02:37Oh, hey aye
02:38There he is
02:39There he is
02:40Is that the bird the legend?
02:44Michael
02:45Michael
02:46Michael
02:47Mike
02:49Alright Brigham
02:50To the next question
02:59Wow
03:01She's got it, yeah, baby, she's got it.
03:07In case you come to Seelix and Grouton with a moth and bucket.
03:12Trish, it's Gordon. What's this mop for? Has something been spilled?
03:19Speak to me, Trish.
03:21Just a spillage in Seelix and Grouton.
03:24Use the comms, please, Trish. What's been spilled?
03:27Just trying to find out.
03:29Use the comms, Trish, not the tannoy.
03:35Some sort of sealant?
03:37Get a mop, get it cleaned up.
03:39No, you don't understand me.
03:41Why would we sell six screws in a biodegradable paper bag
03:45when, if we only sell them in polyurethane tubs of 500,
03:51the customer is forced into buying much more of them,
03:55making us much, much more money?
03:59I see.
04:01Do you have a hand drill?
04:03A hand drill?
04:09We stopped stocking hand drills in 1953.
04:19What was 1953?
04:20The Queen's Coronation.
04:25Have you been on your break?
04:26Which break? Lunch break?
04:27Tea break?
04:28No.
04:30Vending machine needs stocking up.
04:31Double-deckers.
04:32Double-deckers. Got it.
04:35And beef discos. Then go on your break.
04:37Double-deckers. Beef discos. Break.
04:49Could the owner of a small child wearing yellow nungaree
04:52will please come to the power tour station and I'm free.
04:58Michael! Michael!
04:59You want coffee tonight?
05:05Absolute legend!
05:08See you there!
05:10Mind the whiskey and coke?
05:11Oh, my God.
05:45Hello, Hilary. Oh, hello, love. He's in the lounge. Thanks. Has he been all right? Yeah, I think so. Building
05:52his contraptions, telling his stories, you know, keeping everyone amused. See you later.
06:32Hello, Dad.
06:33Ah. You all right? Hello, son. You back from your travels? Haven't been anywhere, Dad. I must have nodded off.
06:43You've been busy.
06:45Oh, yeah, yeah. Does it work?
06:49Eh, sometimes, yeah. Here you are, then. Oh. Have a go.
06:56Where does it start? On the book.
06:59What, here? Yeah, yeah.
07:23That is fantastic, Dad.
07:25Oh, well. Utter waste of time.
07:29Oh, I don't know. It keeps your brain ticking over.
07:34Who brings you the Brazil nuts?
07:37You what?
07:38You've always got a bowl of shelled Brazil nuts.
07:41Oh, yeah. She gives them to me. Gladys.
07:44Her granddaughter brings them for her, but her dentures can't cope with the nuts, so she just sucks the chocolate
07:49off.
07:50I never touch them.
07:53So, er, what you been up to?
07:55You know, this and that. Working at the DIY place.
07:59Yeah. How's Cleo? Is she well?
08:04Cleo went away, didn't she, Dad? Years ago now. You remember? We don't know where she went.
08:12Oh, shit. I forgot. Yeah. Christmas time.
08:16Yes. Christmas Eve.
08:18No news. No answers.
08:21No. Just questions. Lots of questions.
08:25I'm sorry, son.
08:27It's all right.
08:29I actually don't mind talking about her.
08:32Friends tend to avoid the subject.
08:36Ow!
08:37What is it?
08:42A drafts piece?
08:44No, hang on.
08:46Pontefract cake.
08:48Oh, I know who you are!
08:50I know who's doing it!
08:57Bastards!
08:58Hey, it's all right, Dad.
09:01Well, I remember. Would you post my competitions for me?
09:05Yeah, yeah, of course I will. Can't you get one of the staff here to post them for you?
09:08I don't trust them. They just chuck them in the bin.
09:10Dad, I'm sure they wouldn't. But yes, I'll take them for you. What are you going to win?
09:14Er, fishing equipment, knitting machine, and this one's a hot tub.
09:20Oh, nice. All very useful.
09:24Here you go. Dinner's up. Do you want to leave you to it?
09:27All right, sunshine. Will I see you tomorrow?
09:30Yeah, I'll be here.
09:32Maybe we can talk about her then.
09:35Who's that?
09:38Clear.
09:39Clear? Oh, clear! Oh, lovely clear.
09:43Give him my look.
09:52I love you, Dad.
10:23There you go.
12:59You see, we can't run the risk of a customer accidentally discovering a brand new colour, copywriting it and then
13:05going on to make millions, like what happened in the United States of America.
13:09Somebody discovered a new colour?
13:11Never seen before.
13:13Never seen before.
13:13They're going to introduce it over here next year, but we're going to have to change all our printers and
13:17tellies so that they can deal with it.
13:18Well, what's it called?
13:20Well, what's it called?
13:20Frelipal.
13:21Frelipal?
13:21Probably.
13:23Well, what's it look like?
13:24Now you're asking.
13:25It's a kind of a very dark sort of white with sort of, it's great, if you can imagine a
13:30kind of red and blue, it's like stripes.
13:33It's almost see-through, it's basically tartan.
13:37It's impossible to describe.
13:38One thing I do know is that as soon as I can, I am treating myself to a shirt made
13:43from the finest frelipal silk.
13:53You taking your break?
13:55I've only been here an hour.
13:58Take your break now, because Andre's in the warehouse this afternoon.
14:01Now?
14:09All right?
14:11It's Casey.
14:12Yeah.
14:14I didn't realise you were in today.
14:16Yeah, I've been in here an hour and a half, no-one's noticed.
14:19Oh.
14:20Do you want a cup of tea or are you not bothered?
14:24Is that beard itchy?
14:27Itchy?
14:28No.
14:31Why would I have a beard if it was itchy?
14:33Looks itchy.
14:35Looks like it would feel itchy.
14:39You're welcome.
14:41Why'd you have a beard?
14:43Why do you wear a hat?
14:45I'm not wearing a hat.
14:47No, but if you were, that would be my response to you.
14:49Why do you have your ears pierced?
14:50That's a better example.
14:52Why do you have your ears pierced?
14:54Just because.
14:55There you go.
14:56It's just because.
14:58Hm.
15:00That was funny before when you thought I was calling you a wanker.
15:03Who were you calling a wanker? Gordon?
15:04Of course, Gordon.
15:06I mean, don't you think he's such a wanker?
15:07I haven't really thought about it.
15:09Go on, have a think.
15:12Yeah, I suppose he is a bit.
15:13Yeah, you watch.
15:14Now that I've pointed it out, you'll notice it all the time.
15:19You on your break?
15:20Yep.
15:22How long you been on your break?
15:23About ten minutes.
15:23Two minutes.
15:25How long you been on your break?
15:27Two minutes.
15:28You literally just sent me on my break.
15:36So, you been here years then?
15:39Five years.
15:41Can I?
15:42Yeah.
15:44What did you do before this?
15:46I was an underwater welder.
15:48What does that mean?
15:50Which part? Underwater or welder?
15:52Both when you put them together.
15:54Well, I welded things that were underwater,
15:57which meant that I had to go underwater too.
16:00In like the diving gear and everything?
16:01Almost always.
16:04What sort of things need welding underwater?
16:07Ships, oil rigs.
16:10Mainly ships and oil rigs.
16:13Isn't welding like fire?
16:15Yes.
16:15So how does that work then?
16:16Would you like me to explain?
16:18No.
16:18Actually, you're alright.
16:20Why'd you give it up?
16:21It's a young man's game, underwater welding.
16:24You can't do it for too long.
16:26It takes its toll.
16:30And did you have the beard then?
16:32No.
16:33I wouldn't have been able to get a watertight seal around my diving mask.
16:36Oh, yeah.
16:36I was gonna say.
16:54Hi, Hilary.
16:55Is he, er...
16:56Hello, love.
16:56He's in his room.
16:57Oh.
16:58Can I have a word?
17:00It's a bit awkward.
17:03Your dad's been taking the empty water bottles and hiding them in his room.
17:06The water cooler bottles?
17:07Thing is, they collect the empties on a Wednesday.
17:11What's he taking them for?
17:12I don't know.
17:13He's saying it wasn't him.
17:14Well, are you sure it was him?
17:16I've seen him taking them.
17:17He keeps an eye out for when they're nearly empty and then smuggles them away when he thinks no one's
17:21looking.
17:22All right.
17:23Er, thanks, Hilary.
17:25I'll see if I can work out what's going on.
17:49Hello, Dad.
17:50Hello, son.
17:50Come on in.
17:51Shut the door.
17:52You all right?
17:53What are you looking for?
17:55Shut the door.
17:58I remembered something.
18:01Something that would help with your problem.
18:03What problem was that?
18:04What we talked about yesterday.
18:06You know, I know where you can get some answers.
18:09I am sorry, Dad.
18:10I've been dim.
18:10What were we talking about?
18:13Homunculi.
18:14Come again?
18:16Alchemy.
18:17Can't talk about it here.
18:18They'll be listening in.
18:20Let's go for a walk.
18:23Take a look in there.
18:35What have you got these for, Dad?
18:38Did I ever tell you about Egypt?
18:41I think so, yes.
18:42When you were on national service.
18:45That's right.
18:45When I was there, I met a man, an old mystic, Italian.
18:50And he was studying metaphysics and alchemic law.
18:54Okay.
18:55Anyway, I became an apprentice, really, so to speak.
19:00I was the only one he trusted to help him with his experiments.
19:03Okay.
19:05Eventually, this brilliant man managed to grow and generate homunculi.
19:11Tiny prophets who lived in great glass jars full of water.
19:14Wait a minute, Dad.
19:15I remember this story.
19:16You used to tell it to me before bed.
19:18Little people in jars.
19:20But, Dad, I don't think it actually happened.
19:22Oh, it did happen.
19:23I was there.
19:24I saw them.
19:25There were six of them.
19:27Yeah, I remember.
19:28There was a king and a queen.
19:31A monk.
19:32A knight, a peasant, and a seraph.
19:36Exquisite little beings.
19:38They could predict the future.
19:40Yeah.
19:40They could answer any question once they'd reached the state of divination.
19:44And they had to answer truthfully.
19:47That was my favourite story, Dad.
19:50Dad, are you sure that you didn't get it from a book?
19:52No, no, no.
19:53I wrote it in a book.
19:55I wrote the instructions all down in a journal, but it's gone.
19:59I can't find it.
20:00Well, I've got a lot of your things, remember?
20:02At my house, I said I'd look after them for you when you moved in here.
20:06Well, that's where it'll be, then.
20:07And it's all written down.
20:10OK, Dad.
20:10Dad, Dad, listen.
20:12Even if I can find it, you're not allowed to practise alchemy in the golden years' garden.
20:17No, no.
20:17It's up to you.
20:18You're the one who wants the answers.
20:21They'll be able to tell you where Claire is.
20:25Oh, Dad.
20:26No, no, the prophets will tell you where she is, and you go find her and bring her back.
20:30I'll guide you.
20:32That's what the bottles are for.
20:33Take all the bottles, fill them with rainwater.
20:36Got to be rainwater.
20:37You'll need some other ingredients, but the journal will take you through all that.
20:42You've just got to find the journal.
20:44Come on.
20:47Yeah.
20:48That's it.
20:56You think I'm taking them out to the car.
20:58It's a long story.
21:00All right if I leave them around the corner?
21:02All right, love.
21:02Thanks.
21:03It should be all right now.
21:05See you tomorrow.
21:24Michael.
21:27All right, mate.
21:29You looking well.
21:31Hello, Roy.
21:32I went round the house earlier.
21:34Yeah.
21:35No.
21:36I was here visiting Dad.
21:38Been trying to call you.
21:39Left a few messages.
21:40Yeah.
21:41Sometimes I forget to check.
21:43I forget to turn it on.
21:47I need to speak to you, Michael.
21:48Yeah.
21:49Yeah.
21:49Okay.
21:51Shall we go back to the house?
21:52No.
21:53There's a cafe around the corner.
21:56Pickles.
22:06Do you want something?
22:08Oh, um, sausage egg and chips, please.
22:10Who's paying?
22:12I'm skimp, mate.
22:13Just a cup of tea, please.
22:14Two, thanks.
22:19How are you? Are you well?
22:21Skimp.
22:22I just told you.
22:24I'm paying for three kids while she's sat on her fat arse eating crisps.
22:30Are they still down south?
22:31In Reading, yeah.
22:34How often do you get to?
22:36I don't, Michael.
22:38I'm living in a shitty flat above a cost cutter,
22:40so they can't come to me, and I'm not welcome down there,
22:42so weeks, months go by between visits.
22:46Sorry.
22:50You're welcome.
22:56This place is named after the dog that found the World Cup.
23:00Pickles.
23:02I don't know what the connection is.
23:03I don't think he was from round here.
23:05It's time to give back what's mine, Michael.
23:12What if she comes back?
23:13Clara's not coming back.
23:14What if she does?
23:16Michael, they found her car on the Severn Bridge.
23:18Yes, and she wasn't in it.
23:20Mate, I don't know whether I miss her as much as you do.
23:22I think about her every day.
23:25She was my sister.
23:27But there's nothing I could have done,
23:29and I've made peace with that.
23:31This Christmas, it will be seven years.
23:35We can apply for a presumption of death.
23:38I want the house back, Michael.
23:41It belongs to me.
23:42What are you going to do, move in?
23:43I'm going to sell it.
23:44Well, I'll stay on until you find a buyer.
23:46No-one's going to buy it.
23:47The estate is in.
23:49It needs to be cleared out.
23:51There might be structural damage.
23:53There might...
23:54Got to go.
23:55For Christ's sake, Michael.
23:56I drove past there this afternoon.
23:57The gutter is hanging off.
23:59The garden is impenetrable.
24:00Christ knows what it's like inside.
24:01It's time to take your head out of the sand, mate.
24:04She's not coming back.
24:31Good evening, Olive.
24:33You all right, love?
24:34Hello, Michael.
24:35What's that?
24:36Fertiliser?
24:38No.
24:39These plants are all plastic.
24:41Don't need watering.
24:42Don't need fertilising.
24:43Oh, right.
24:44So what...
24:44What is that you were sprinkling?
24:47Slug pellets.
24:48So if the flowers are plastic,
24:50what are the slugs eating?
24:51It's not pellets.
24:53Oh, right.
24:55Cheerio, then.
24:56Yeah.
24:56Ooh.
24:58I'll tell you who I saw here today.
25:00Yeah?
25:01Who was that?
25:02Your brother-in-law, Roy.
25:04He was looking for you.
25:09Well, I say let them.
25:12Robots take over.
25:16Hey, Michael.
25:18Olive.
25:19You all right?
25:20Hello, Michael.
25:21Hello, babe.
25:29Best be off, Olive.
25:31Cheerio, then, Mike.
25:34We were never married.
25:37What's our love?
25:38Just you said brother-in-law,
25:40but Clea and I,
25:42well, we were never married.
25:46Cheerio!
26:21Here's some footage.
26:22I have to ride in.
26:22Here's some footage.
26:23I broke it or did you want?
26:26I was going to be done.
26:28I was going to be done.
26:31This is my favorite piece of paper.
26:31I've been in the first time and I was going to be done.
26:32I was going to do.
26:32These were just interesting.
26:33I was going to be done.
26:37I'm going to be done.
27:51Come in lad.
27:54Will you come back, come back again?
28:03I put the kettle on, the wise man song for you.
28:25I took a needle and thread to make amends with you.
28:36And the tape rolls on, another year gone.
28:42And I await your cue.
28:46I put the kettle on, the wise man song for you.
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