- 3 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:15I'm Dora Miller, the ice hockey team's assistant that no one cares about.
00:20I love this job, mostly because it keeps me close to Leo, my crush since childhood.
00:43Wait, did Leo really stop to help me?
00:53I always believed that one day Leo would see me more than an assistant.
01:04You just got pucked, Dora.
01:10But back then, I had no idea how dangerous dreams could be, and how badly people could get hurt.
01:17It all started when I got an early birthday present from my parents.
01:29Happy birthday to my dearest daughter.
01:32We love you so much.
01:34I totally forgot I was only one month away from turning 18.
01:46Get with Leo.
01:47Lose my big card.
01:54You followed Leo to college for nothing.
01:58Idiot.
01:59I'm a divergent.
02:02If you want it, you're going to have to make it happen.
02:07Dora Miller, just tell Leo how you feel.
02:12Stop being such a pussy and go for it.
02:27Stop being such a pussy and go for it.
02:30Dora.
02:33Can it wait?
02:35I'm just a little busy.
02:38Leo, I have been in love with you for years.
02:41I think we would make a great team.
02:44I've been saving myself for you, and I want you to be the one to take my virginity next month
02:48before my 18th birthday.
02:58Oh my god!
02:59What did she just say?
03:00She's a virgin.
03:01L-M-A-O.
03:06How sweet.
03:08The bleeding little virgin.
03:11Oh, don't let me stop you, Dora.
03:16What else do you have to say to Leo?
03:2350.
03:24Hey.
03:25I didn't realize you were on the toilet.
03:27It's funny.
03:29Something in the toilet made me think of you, and then I heard your needy voice.
03:33I can't believe you're still a virgin.
03:38Wait.
03:39I totally can.
03:43But I do love what you've done with your hair.
03:47Oh.
03:50Don't have a mustache.
03:54I'll just...
03:55I'll leave you guys.
03:57Go.
03:57And this, uh...
04:01It's interesting.
04:06Women have a choice for...
04:09They can be appealing, or they can be you.
04:14I like this cardigan.
04:19So would my great-great-great-grandmother.
04:25Leo's hot.
04:26You're not.
04:28Leo's rich.
04:29Poor.
04:30We're in, you're out.
04:32Repeat that to yourself when you go and cry into your greasy pillow.
04:37Maybe.
04:39Know your place, nerd.
04:40In the library, open your nose with the oven.
04:44Yes.
04:51You know, if you could just, uh, finish up with some tears for my followers.
05:13What the hell?
05:14I'm not expecting money from anyone, especially this much.
05:40Did you tell me just about it?
05:44What?
05:45I want to sleep at people.
05:50Oh, come on.
05:51It's not that bad.
05:53I just told Leo that I was in love with them, but Mindy was there.
05:56So now the whole school is going to know that I'm a virgin.
05:59Are you in there trying to slip on some guy in the shower?
06:03Come on.
06:04I know you're in there, virgin.
06:06I can smell library dust and eyeglass cleaner.
06:21Oh, Troy.
06:25No virgins here.
06:27But you already knew that, right?
06:30Goodbye, ex-boyfriend.
06:43Oh.
06:45Not so fast.
06:46You are the ignorer.
06:48I saved you.
06:49Now you won't.
06:51Big time.
06:56No way.
06:58Guys like you only want one thing.
07:00Sometimes.
07:01Help passing math.
07:05Listen.
07:05I've got a really weird tech situation and I know you're good with that kind of stuff,
07:10but it's gotta be kept real secret.
07:11If you got a virus from a corn site, that's your own problem.
07:15No.
07:15No.
07:16Some stranger's putting money into my account and I'm worried they're setting me up to make
07:19it look like I'm throwing games.
07:22Match fixing?
07:24That also sounds super dodgy.
07:26I'm not touching it.
07:27Wait.
07:30What if we did a deal?
07:33You help me and I help you get Leo.
07:37Boom.
07:38Swing it for fifth base in no time.
07:42It's a sexual reference for you once to have sex with Leo.
07:49It's not just sex.
07:52I love Leo.
07:54I've been waiting for him.
07:56So do we have a deal?
07:58Okay.
07:59But I need to clear something up.
08:02Fifth base?
08:02I thought it was fourth.
08:05You got some work to do.
08:08You think I'm a joke?
08:10It's called teasing door.
08:13Do you want the order?
08:16Okay.
08:16So, you teach me how to flirt and, you know, do things.
08:26You want me to teach you how to kiss, don't you?
08:38I just want to know what Leo will expect.
08:44I'm not super familiar with this stuff.
08:46Sweet.
08:49Alright.
08:52Maybe we should tackle it in order.
08:54List it for me.
08:56Flirting fashion technique.
08:58Okay.
08:59So you spent some time thinking about this.
09:01Alright.
09:02Flirting skills first and then boom.
09:05Fifth base.
09:06Sounds good.
09:07Just don't forget about fashion.
09:08And we need a deadline.
09:10How about the fundraiser dance for the hockey team?
09:13You can make a big move there.
09:15It's only two weeks away.
09:17Calm down.
09:18You're not that hopeless.
09:19We can meet up tomorrow morning to discuss tactics.
09:22Okay.
09:23Sounds good.
09:26My whole life is going to change.
09:28Go team.
09:31Oh, turkey.
09:33Gotcha.
09:41Dora!
09:42Just the person I wanted to see.
09:44Oh shit.
09:45I wanted to say that I'm sorry about yesterday.
09:50You did?
09:51Yeah.
09:53I was just feeling really insecure because I really like Leo.
10:00I shouldn't have reacted that way.
10:02Yeah.
10:04Okay.
10:05Thanks.
10:07Did you hear about the cake party that's happening tonight?
10:09You should totally come.
10:12All of us lost our B cards at cake parties, didn't we girls?
10:18Totally.
10:18Hey.
10:38What the hell, Dora?
10:39Do you even live here?
10:40It's so friggin' neat.
10:42I like things organized.
10:47What are you doing?
10:48Checking to see if your underwear is color-coded.
10:51You probably have my solution of the week on it.
10:57My underwear is none of your business.
11:01I mean, it kind of is.
11:05If you want my help landing Leo.
11:09Can we please stop talking about my underwear?
11:31What are you doing?
11:34You have such incredible eyes, Dora.
11:39I've never noticed how beautiful they are before.
11:49They're just eyes.
11:51I have two of them, like everyone else.
11:54Come on, Dora.
11:56I was flirting with you.
11:57This is why I need help.
12:03Why couldn't I see what you were doing?
12:04Just be open to signals.
12:08Don't be Dora the Ignorer.
12:11Can I bore you?
12:14Why would you care?
12:24Because you have such beautiful eyes.
12:33You're flirting again?
12:36Yeah.
12:37You're supposed to say something flirty-back.
12:40Something flirty-backed.
12:45I know.
12:46I will practice on Leo at the party tonight.
12:50Whatcha think?
12:51Why not?
12:53But just remember, you've still got your training wheels on.
12:56Don't expect miracles.
12:58Don't expect miracles.
12:59We'll need to have another flirting lesson.
13:13Alright.
13:15I'll grab us a drink.
13:17Just try to be cool.
13:21Dude, when am I not cool?
13:28Oh my god, there's Leo.
13:31You're worth a million of him, but you have no idea.
13:34Yeah.
13:35Good luck.
13:40There she goes.
13:41There we go.
13:47Hey.
13:51Hey.
13:53I thought you were staring at me from over there.
13:55Was I?
14:00I'm sorry if I was weird yesterday.
14:03You don't gotta say it.
14:05Minnie's a bitch.
14:06And you're awesome.
14:08I know.
14:10I know.
14:13I know.
14:20Hey.
14:22Hey.
14:22Hey.
14:23Sorry, I don't need to interrupt.
14:26School?
14:27School.
14:31I'm sorry if I was being weird yesterday.
14:35You don't gotta say it.
14:36It's cool.
14:38Oh, okay.
14:43Yes, she does.
14:44Doesn't she, girls?
14:47Whatever it is.
14:49And I think it is her vagina.
14:53It's like a vagina, only dryer.
14:56We call it Adora.
15:02What the hell do you think you're doing?
15:08You're doing nothing.
15:11She needs you.
15:13Because...
15:13You're nothing.
15:16Oh.
15:17I thought you were talking about how much lube you need.
15:20She buys an Inventi-sized tube.
15:23How cute!
15:24But with how many guys you're seeing, it's probably up to Trenta, right?
15:29Oh!
15:34Don't you dare laugh!
15:37Well, it's about me all of a sudden.
15:46What do you see in her?
15:49Dora the Borer?
15:52What does her bony body make your boner look bigger?
15:59She's great.
16:01It's as simple as that, Mindy.
16:04Do you know what it'll do for my reputation if your first girlfriend after me is some pathetic little needy
16:11virgin?
16:12Why does Dora being a virgin bother you so much?
16:17I think it's kind of sweet.
16:25This is just the start, you sexless ironing board.
16:30Get ready for the plan I have specifically for you in five minutes.
16:49Come on.
16:50I'll tell you somewhere about it.
16:57Wait here.
16:58I'll grab you some drinks and some snacks.
17:09Leo, I have been in love with you for years.
17:11I think we'd make a great team.
17:13I've been saving myself for you and I want you to be the one to take my virginity before my
17:1818th birthday next month.
17:21I don't know.
17:27I don't know.
17:31Can you go up?
17:34Ready?
17:35Okay.
17:36Take my virginity.
17:38Take my virginity.
17:39Take my virginity.
17:40Take my virginity.
18:01Please.
18:02Stop.
18:08Please.
18:08Let me go.
18:09Please let me go.
18:34Dan, where are you?
18:41Hopefully it doesn't see me like this.
18:46Please, please let me go.
18:48Aw, honey, you wanna go?
18:52Please, you can go.
18:55We just wanna hear you say it.
18:58One more time.
19:00Say, take my virginity.
19:03Say no.
19:04Say it, say it, say it, say it, say it, say it.
19:13That's enough!
19:18That's enough!
19:28And you wonder why guys keep leaving you.
19:32I don't care what anyone says.
19:35When someone starts shit with me, I always finish it.
19:40You're wrong.
19:42I'll finish it.
19:54I'll finish it.
20:04I'll get you a tissue.
20:14Sorry.
20:16I'm not usually a crier.
20:19You can't let me get to you.
20:22Okay, you need to fight back.
20:23Like with a shark.
20:24You just need to punch her in the nose.
20:30Why do you care if she bullies me?
20:35You remind me of my little sister.
20:39Is she a pitiful virgin loser, too?
20:43I mean, she's eight.
20:44I really hope so.
20:48Remind you of an eight-year-old?
20:54Stop crying.
20:57It's all gonna be okay.
21:02It's easy for you to say.
21:05You have to go to the hockey team.
21:08Everyone loves you.
21:11And I'm just Dora.
21:19I happen to think you're pretty great.
21:24And that should count for something since I'm apparently so amazing.
21:35I thought you just said that at the party to mess with Mindy.
21:40No.
21:42I said it because I meant it.
21:47I'm lying to you.
21:53Because I meant it.
21:57And the worst part is...
22:00I didn't even get a chance to talk to Leo.
22:06You know there's a chance that Leo might not be into you.
22:09No matter what you do.
22:10I just have to change the way that he sees me.
22:13I just need you to give me a clear shot at the goal.
22:23Okay.
22:24We'll make it happen if that's what you really want.
22:32Let's do another flirty lesson.
22:35Now?
22:37It's not like we have another party to get to.
22:47Great team.
22:50Let's pretend like we're on a date.
22:53Okay?
22:55Show me some pointers.
22:57Okay.
22:59So...
23:00Flirting.
23:01You want to make...
23:04Lots of eye contact.
23:07And if you can...
23:09Touch them.
23:12Your arm.
23:18Your hand.
23:21You need...
23:22I don't think...
23:23Had inside my mind.
23:25Yeah, it felt so good.
23:28Walking next to you.
23:30You said you liked me too.
23:34Sometimes I'm...
23:36I wonder why we were...
23:39Something?
23:40I know this is fake...
23:40but it feels...
23:41real.
23:42Nothing.
23:44You're not thinking...
23:44And you should...
23:45laugh at Leo's jokes.
23:47If you make something.
23:49Which you probably won't.
23:50So, right.
23:51And then you should find something special about him to compliment him, if you can think of anything.
24:04You're a really good teacher.
24:09Hey Mike.
24:12It smells so good.
24:16What is that?
24:18It just makes me want to get closer.
24:21I love you.
24:30God.
24:32This shit actually works.
24:41Congratulations, you just passed Flirting 101.
24:45You're better at this than you thought.
24:47I know.
24:48Who knew I had it in me?
24:50Just curious.
24:52Why did you say that stuff about me?
24:55Well, you told me to find something special about the person I was flirting with.
25:01And you went with, I smell nice?
25:05What's wrong with that?
25:08How do you want to smell?
25:09A pair of sweaty old socks?
25:12Hockey players are tough, okay? We don't smell nice.
25:16Hey.
25:19Relax.
25:21You are still a beast on the ice.
25:24I will let your secret get out.
25:29Nobody gives me shit the way you do.
25:32I like it.
25:34Thanks.
25:37Did you happen to make a list of everyone who has access to your bank account?
25:41Yeah.
25:42It's around here somewhere.
25:44Oh my god.
26:04Tora's helping Troy track the money?
26:06If she works out I sent it, they'll know I'm setting up Troy to look like a match fixer.
26:10She's going to fuck everything up.
26:18I've got to do something to keep him away from Dora.
26:26What's up with you and Dora?
26:28What's up with you and Dora?
26:30What's it to you?
26:31She's an old friend.
26:33Just making sure you don't take advantage of her.
26:35Yeah?
26:37Well, sounds like you're a little bit jealous to me.
26:40Dora.
26:42Hardly.
26:43She's like our team mascot.
26:46Perfect.
26:47Then I guess you shouldn't have a problem with me dating her.
27:00I wonder if Troy will like this.
27:04I don't care what Troy thinks.
27:05This is about Leo.
27:06Stupid.
27:15Going somewhere geek girl?
27:21I've got a date with Troy.
27:31Is that seriously what you're wearing on a date with the captain of the ice hockey team?
27:36Where are you going? The library?
27:42I obviously did something to offend you.
27:45Everything about you offends me geek.
27:48The way you creep around campus sucking up to all the hot guys by becoming their pathetic little slave.
27:55I mean, do you have any self-respect?
28:00Can I go?
28:02Well, not until I help you out a little.
28:05I mean, if you're trying to get laid, you're going about it all wrong.
28:09And these have a definite gotta go.
28:17And this partigan?
28:19So gross.
28:21Stop!
28:23And you gotta bait the hook with something.
28:36You gotta fight back.
28:38Like with a shark.
28:40You gotta punch her in the nose.
29:04Sorry I'm late.
29:05Yeah, you should be.
29:06It's not really good for my reputation to be seen waiting for a girl.
29:10I know.
29:12Also, I looked it up on ChatGPT last night and said fifth base is innovative sexual intimacy.
29:23It's the butt.
29:26Butt, like.
29:28Like one tear.
29:30Two tears.
29:33Oh.
29:35Oh.
29:37Hey.
29:38Just stick to fourth base then.
29:47There's a crazy little bitch that, that's her, oh Chris, are you Dora Miller?
29:55Dora Miller, you're under arrest for aggravating assault.
30:02Whoa, whoa, hang on a second.
30:04Can we just talk about this?
30:06This young lady reported an assault and it needs to be investigated.
30:09No, she's the one who assaulted me. Wait, they opened my shirt and took pictures.
30:17I've seen you at the rink, yeah?
30:19Yeah, I don't miss a game, you guys are crushing it this year.
30:21Let's go, thanks. Yeah, but you see Dora here, she's the team's assistant.
30:25She's one of the main reasons we look as good as we do on the ice.
30:28Yeah?
30:30No, this is bullshit, this is not happening.
30:34Oh, really? Why don't you hand over your phone and we'll see if you have pictures of Dora in her
30:38underwear.
30:43That's what I thought.
30:45Sorry for this misunderstanding.
30:52Nice to meet you.
30:53Hey, nice to meet you too.
30:54See you in the next game?
30:55You will, go team.
31:03Lay hands on Dora again, and you'll be dealing with me. Got it?
31:19Thank you. I can't believe you recognized him from the rink.
31:23No, I've never seen him before in my life.
31:26That was bullshit?
31:27Did it?
31:27It worked, didn't it?
31:30Unbelievable.
31:31You know, what's unbelievable is you punching Mindy in the face.
31:35I mean, you weren't supposed to take my advice literally.
31:37I don't know what happened, okay?
31:39Just one moment, she was monitoring me and then the next, my fist was just in her face.
31:45Yeah, I wish I would have been there, slugger.
32:12Yeah, I wish I would have been there, slugger.
32:22I'll change my sheets.
32:24You can sleep in my bed tonight.
32:27I'll take the floor.
32:35I had no idea Troy was such a good person.
32:39He feels so good.
32:40Oh no!
32:41Am I hot for Troy?
32:43Okay?
32:51Do you have something I could change into?
32:53Yeah, of course.
32:59Thanks.
33:13I'm so sorry.
33:14I did not realize.
33:17Relax, don't worry.
33:19You've seen worse in the locker rooms after a freaking meeting.
33:22Yeah, but that's...
33:23That's different.
33:26You can look now.
33:28You're still shirtless.
33:30That's how I sleep.
33:32But if you think you won't be able to control yourself...
33:35Dream on.
33:41I'm so sorry.
33:44I'm so sorry.
33:46Babe.
33:47I'm so sorry.
33:52Come on.
33:57Babe.
33:58I'm so sorry.
34:12I'm so sorry.
34:16I'm so sorry.
34:17You can share the bed if you want.
34:25I'm so sorry.
34:26It's your favorite thing.
34:27A lot of people say you shouldn't.
34:29But sure, once I do.
34:31You're a joke.
34:33Yeah, you're gonna ruin my reputation if you go around saying stuff like that.
34:39Are you sure?
34:41We can put a pillow in between us.
34:46We might need a thicker pillow.
35:19Ah, what happened to the pillow?
35:21Someone threw it on the floor.
35:24It wasn't me.
35:26Why would I do that?
35:28I don't know.
35:30Maybe because you want me to do this?
35:32Raise me up when this is all over.
35:39Take my heart, lift over your hands.
35:45I've spent all my days just trying to find a way.
35:53Whoa.
35:55Whoa.
35:57Whoa, whoa, whoa.
35:58You know Leah's the one I want.
36:02You're the one who said you wanted help with fifth base.
36:06I guess you're not ready for those lessons yet.
36:09Right.
36:09Yeah.
36:10Sorry for freaking out.
36:13I just think maybe we should concentrate on, you know, fashion.
36:19Since the dance is tomorrow night.
36:21Yeah, I actually need to call my cousins about that.
36:24Yeah.
36:25Since you're better at taking off dresses and putting them on.
36:32I have an American history exam I got to get to, so I'm going to.
36:42Hey, what's up?
36:44What's up, dude?
36:47So, her door punched Mindy.
36:50It's unhinged, man.
36:52Trust me, dude.
36:54Mindy deserved it.
36:57You got to kick her to the curb, bro.
37:02Why are you so down on Dora?
37:04Isn't she your friend?
37:05Of course she is, but we have the most important game of the year coming up, and you need to
37:10be more focused.
37:12I'm focused.
37:13Okay, don't worry about me.
37:15Doesn't look it.
37:16When you should be worrying about impressing all the pro scouts coming, you're running around with Dora all the time.
37:26Leo!
37:27Hey!
37:30I'm going to wash this.
37:32Get it back to you.
37:36Mindy trashed Ora's room, so she stayed here last night.
37:40Wow.
37:42Are you that desperate to get laid?
37:57Stop it, stop.
38:00Troy is just a friend.
38:05It's nice to know what you really think of me.
38:06I was just looking out for you.
38:08Troy's the biggest player on campus.
38:10You're a virgin.
38:12I just didn't want you to get hurt.
38:15Thanks, man.
38:20There's nothing happening between us.
38:23Don't say that more, do you?
38:25Thanks, buddy.
38:27Great chat.
38:29Go, team.
38:42The boss wants an update.
38:49Hey, Big Mike.
38:50How's it hanging?
38:53Right.
38:55Nothing.
38:57So, everything's set to where we lose the big match, except Troy's trying to figure out where the money comes
39:03from.
39:07Then you'd better make sure that does not happen.
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