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Jupiter Moon is a science fiction soap opera television series first broadcast by British Satellite Broadcasting's Galaxy channel in 1990. 150 episodes were commissioned and made, but only the first 108 were broadcast before the closure of BSB. Episodes 109–150 were first shown in the UK on the Sci Fi Channel in 1996.

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TV
Transcript
00:02Mars Freighter approaching from Vector 283.
00:06Collision T-minus 13.7 seconds.
00:09Quick, Elliot, who takes priority?
00:11I thought I was supposed to let the tug into orbit first.
00:14We're about to collide with a Mars Freighter in 8.2 seconds.
00:17I'll put a lot of them, let's crash.
00:20Elliot, you can't give up. Come on, we'll all be killed.
00:25It's only a simulation figure.
00:27Collision with Mars Freighter now.
00:30Both vessels destroyed at night.
00:32There you are. We're all dead. Can I rest in peace?
00:34No. No, Elliot, you can't. I can't let you do this to yourself.
00:37I can do this sort of thing in my sleep, son.
00:40Really? So why have we just been atomised by a Mars Freighter?
00:45Technicality. Could happen to anyone.
00:47Only the once, Captain.
00:56Who has been там again?
01:03Probably the kidding.
01:11Football!
01:12Obi-Wan on there...
01:13Probably...
01:13And we will have me until this time.
01:19We are the only one, from Canada.
01:19Even though …
01:26You're lucky to have a brother and man in go with
01:27Stochastic analysis made easy.
01:30Daniel, stochastic analysis is one of the ones that I passed.
01:33Oh, there's this. Hi. Hi, Rebecca.
01:35Yes, you don't see many of those round these days.
01:37Oh, that's antique, that is.
01:38Yes, it's a personal stereo that actually plays cassette.
01:41Cassettes.
01:42Yeah, you know, those things that they had before CDs.
01:44Used to get them enchanted. Oh, look, here's one.
01:46Used to get loads of them where I live.
01:48So, if you want to start a collection, then you'll have to have something to play with.
01:51Daniel, you must be desperate.
01:53To you, 20 eqs.
01:55He's desperate.
01:56Well, I've still got to make 5,000 in these days.
01:58So, you're telling me if I buy something, it means I get my exam winnings back?
02:01Quite, so it costs you nothing.
02:03What is this?
02:04What is going on?
02:05Oh, hello.
02:06Hello.
02:07Oh, hello.
02:08Morning, Philippe.
02:09It's my end of season.
02:11Any reasonable offer considered, shuttle boot sale.
02:13Mm, the sea for sale.
02:14Did you have to start so early?
02:16Well, I thought it was best, you know, get the early morning rush.
02:18I thought you'd be happier if I didn't wake you.
02:20Thanks.
02:21I'll give you 20 eqs for them, Daniel.
02:22Done.
02:24Hey, careful!
02:25Oh!
02:25Oh!
02:26Excuse me, Sarah.
02:28Or have you sold the bathroom as well?
02:30Actually, that's not...
02:31That's quite a point.
02:32I hadn't thought of that one yet.
02:33Nearly a matter of time.
02:35You know, some people just don't appreciate the entrepreneurial spirit.
02:40Sarah, now.
02:41What now?
02:42Something for you here.
02:43Definitely.
02:44How about this hardly used but nicely distressed jacket?
02:48Which, if I might be so bold, has some very special causes.
02:51Oh, right.
02:52Apart from inducing nausea.
02:54Excuse me one sec.
02:57It's horrible.
03:00Daniel, are you helping with the anti-static gun order?
03:03Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
03:05Yes, I forgot.
03:05I'll be there straight away.
03:07Good.
03:10Philippe?
03:10Are you doing anything today?
03:13Could you repeat the question?
03:14Which has right of way?
03:16A quarantined vessel, a disabled vessel, or a hospital ship?
03:23Quarantined vessel.
03:23Correct.
03:24Please state reason why.
03:26Oh, God only knows.
03:28According to Space Navigation Protocol 3H6, a quarantined vessel...
03:33Oh, shut up, Petra!
03:35You're so damn clever, why don't you fly the ship?
03:43Can I see job section from the bulletin?
03:46And correlate with the qualifications of...
03:51Creasy Elliot George.
03:59Commodore required to command fleet of 23 moon station tugs based on Ceres.
04:04Navigation level 5 required for all Commodore rankings.
04:08Thank you, Petra.
04:11The captain needed for new high-speed link to Mars.
04:16Navigation 8.
04:18Communication skill 7.
04:20Well, what do I have qualifications for?
04:24Is that all?
04:26Do you require wider search?
04:28No, I'm not really that interested.
04:31I just wanted to see what everyone else was up to.
04:37I don't know.
04:37So, what is this?
04:40Job CSC Space City?
04:43Okay, I'll give you 5%.
04:46Ten.
04:47Seven and a half.
04:49Yeah, done.
04:50You're learning quick.
04:51So, everything's for sale, is it?
04:55Everything.
04:56My possessions, my body, life and soul.
04:58You're not really selling this, are you?
05:00Yeah, I know.
05:01It hurts, but it's gotta go.
05:02It's your lucky club jacket.
05:03I know.
05:04Me and this jacket have seen every hoofing club from here to Mars.
05:07Yeah, I'm not surprised.
05:08Mm.
05:10500 Eccuse.
05:10I know, it's a bargain, isn't it?
05:13I'll tell you what, why don't you buy it?
05:15Let's have a look.
05:16Come on, come on.
05:18Yes!
05:19Oh, beautiful!
05:21It's really great.
05:22I'll tell you what, wearing this, you will have the admiration of every single woman you've ever wanted.
05:32Do I get my percentage of a seller to myself?
05:34Petra, did you just move that sub-file?
05:37As commanded.
05:38No, no, no.
05:39I didn't command you to move a sub-file.
05:42Command's logged at 10.58.
05:45Do you require printout?
05:46No, no.
05:47Don't bother.
05:48Still playing hard to get, is she?
05:50Yes.
05:50Every time I think I find the navigational details, Petra moves them and pretends I told her to move them.
05:55It's less than a week till we reach Pacify.
05:57Are you confident you can produce the vectors by that?
06:00Oh, yes, yes.
06:00Petra's stubborn, but I will beat her.
06:03I've asked Mercedes to plot a course from scratch.
06:05There's no need for that.
06:07Call it my insurance policy.
06:10Come on.
06:11It's time we made Petra break sweat.
06:15Well, it's a waste of time, but if it comes to students, I'm happy.
06:19Plasmoids can only be caused by high voltage discharge.
06:22You ever heard of mass hysteria?
06:24I bet.
06:26That's it.
06:27Sorry.
06:27Plants.
06:33Yes.
06:34You haven't done this bit.
06:36I smothered it.
06:37Do it again.
06:38You're a hard man, Cheslon.
06:41Commander Creasy.
06:44How much holiday do I get?
06:46Six weeks per annum.
06:48Six weeks more than now.
06:50What about concessionary travel?
06:53To Island Five.
06:54Do you wish to make an application?
06:59Yes.
06:59Why not?
07:00Can't hurt.
07:01Fill it in from my personal file.
07:03Referees required.
07:05No.
07:07Petra page me, Professor Prellan.
07:08Captain Creasy to Professor...
07:10No, no, stop, Petra.
07:13Better keep this between you, me and Callisto.
07:16Can you patch me through to Commissioner de Gracie?
07:20I don't need to buy something.
07:22I don't need any of this rubbish.
07:23Buy a present.
07:25What with?
07:26I've hardly got any allowance left.
07:27An engagement present for the happy couple.
07:30Pod off.
07:31No, seriously.
07:33Well, they'd only want any of this.
07:36Oh, I don't know.
07:39It can't be real.
07:40Looks it.
07:42Philippe, there's a woman called Stardust Lil who distils it in her bathtub.
07:45Yeah.
07:45Yeah, but it looks real.
07:46Sort of thing Professor Brellan would go for.
07:50400 acus and it's yours.
07:52400?
07:53You're just interested in your percentage.
07:55It's not good for you living with Daniel.
07:57300.
07:57200 and it's a deal.
07:59What can I do for you, Captain?
08:01Commissioner.
08:02Good of you to return my call.
08:04Your message said something about needing a referee.
08:06Have you taken up football, Captain?
08:09No.
08:10No, not this.
08:11Look, you remember that chat we had about my position in the service?
08:16Naturally.
08:17How you thought it may be time for me to make way for a younger man,
08:21give him time to learn the ropes?
08:22Yes.
08:24Well, I've come round to your way of thinking.
08:26Time to make way for the young Turks.
08:29Well, I think that's very wise, Captain.
08:32I noticed a vacancy in the bulletin.
08:35CSC, Space City.
08:37Wouldn't you be rather overqualified?
08:39Oh, would I?
08:40But if you were interested, I'd be delighted to have a man of your experience in the job.
08:44Yeah, yes.
08:46Well...
08:46Could you...
08:49What I mean is, will you be my reference?
08:53Do you think it could have something to do with the murder?
08:56Steady on, Mr Lewis.
08:58No, no.
08:58What if they wanted to cover everything up afterwards and they put in a security block?
09:01On the navigation files?
09:03Yeah, what the security departments are like.
09:05They're just going for blanket coverage.
09:06Then why didn't Petra tell us that that's the reason?
09:09What if there's a security block on telling us there's a security block?
09:15Mr Lewis.
09:16No, hang on.
09:18Trouble in storage zone 2 on Gantry 2.
09:20Looks like one of the bulkhead doors is jammed.
09:21No, no, no.
09:22Leave that for the moment.
09:23No, no.
09:23It'll only take a couple of seconds.
09:24You see, we have to ensure that the bulkhead doors can be closed instantly.
09:28All right, you handle it.
09:31Okay.
09:32Petra, bring up com 86 Michelangelo.
09:35This command file cannot be located.
09:38Com sent to Paul Lockwood.
09:40Are you anywhere near Gantry 2?
09:42Petra, I am giving you one more chance, then I send you off to be warehouse computer on IO.
09:51Who wants to be nursemaid to a shipload of students anyway?
09:56It wasn't exactly what I got my captain's ticket for.
10:03Hello.
10:04Hello again, Captain.
10:06No point in wasting time.
10:07I'm delighted to be able to offer you the post of Commander Systems Control.
10:11What?
10:11What?
10:12Already?
10:13That didn't take long.
10:14I'll send you the contract right now.
10:15Hang on.
10:16Hang on.
10:17I need time to think about it.
10:18Weigh up the pros and cons.
10:19What?
10:20It's not something you jump straight into, is it?
10:24I'll give you an hour.
10:26If we don't do it from you by 12.30, I presume you've declined.
10:31An hour?
10:36How did it go?
10:39How's the anti-static patrol?
10:42Oh, you know.
10:43Zapped a few ghosts.
10:44All in a day's work.
10:46So, how much did you sell?
10:49Well, did you actually sell anything?
10:51Oh, a bottle of brandy.
10:53A bottle of brandy?
10:55You sold my brandy?
10:57I thought you'd be pleased.
10:59The brandy was in the cupboard, Philippe.
11:00The brandy wasn't for sale.
11:01You said everything was for sale.
11:02No, no, no.
11:03Everything I put out was for sale.
11:04The brandy was in the cupboard.
11:07Well, how much did you get?
11:09200 IQs.
11:10200?
11:10It was a tough bargain.
11:12Oh, God.
11:12Do you know how often real French brandy gets shipped out here?
11:15It wasn't real, was it?
11:16Of course it was real.
11:18Oh, my God.
11:21You're having me on.
11:22No, no.
11:23I bought this up specially with me.
11:25I bought it up in my luggage.
11:26It's worth thousands.
11:27No, no, no.
11:28It's priceless.
11:29Oh, dear.
11:30Oh, dear.
11:31Oh, dear.
11:31Yes.
11:31Oh, dear.
11:32You are going to have to get that back for me.
11:34Me?
11:35You really think she may be close to an attack of space confinement syndrome?
11:38Yes.
11:39And if it happens in last place, she wants you done a five-week trawl to the Jupiter Achilles.
11:43Well, I can't just use pacify as a holiday camp.
11:45Oh.
11:47Yeah.
11:48No.
11:48This must be the door.
11:49Fine.
11:50All right.
11:52Thimbo?
11:54Yeah.
11:54The door seems to be jammed.
11:55OK.
11:56I'm shutting down the power to that hole zone, if you want to have a look at the control panel.
11:59Right.
12:00We'll let you know what we find.
12:03Right, dear.
12:05There's the unit.
12:06There you go.
12:07Hold that for a second.
12:09All right.
12:09You sure it's going to be enough for Sarah to do and pacify for a month?
12:12Well, she filled four modules last year.
12:15She's got more than enough work to be getting on with.
12:16Yeah, well, that's true.
12:17And she can rest.
12:18You know, she could do with a break from the other students.
12:20You know, it gets a bit much for her.
12:22It gets a bit much for all of us, Crystal.
12:24Yes!
12:26Oh!
12:26Oh!
12:28Oh!
12:28Oh!
12:29Paul!
12:30Paul!
12:45Oh!
12:45Oh!
12:45Oh!
12:45Oh!
12:45Oh!
13:12Go ahead!
13:12Oh!
13:12Oh...
13:14I still miss him so much.
13:17Of course you do.
13:18Do you know, I even dreamt about him last night.
13:20It was our golden wedding anniversary.
13:22Everybody was there, our children and grandchildren.
13:26It's more like a nightmare.
13:27Emergency call to Rebecca Harvey.
13:29Emergency call to Rebecca Harvey.
13:31Yes.
13:32I need you down in storage zone two.
13:33Bring oxygen in the resourced kit fast.
13:35Right, I'm on my way.
13:37It's just an emergency.
13:38We'll talk more soon.
13:41It's outrageous.
13:42I can't believe it.
13:43Yeah, am I...
13:44Look, yeah, we can.
13:45Let's just, um...
13:46Believe it.
13:50Ah, found you at last.
13:51Oh, and if it isn't Mr. Bargain Basement.
13:54Who's manning the shop?
13:55We're closed for lunch.
13:56Gabby, you know that bottle of brandy?
13:58So-called brandy.
13:59He shouldn't have sold it to you.
14:00It's the real thing, Gabby.
14:02Like hell.
14:02I'm wise to you now, Weatherby.
14:04No, no, this is serious.
14:05I bought it with me from Earth for the day I graduate.
14:07Oh, be vintage by then.
14:10I think you're selling the truth.
14:11Well, it had to happen eventually.
14:13So, could I have it back, please?
14:15Too late.
14:16I bought it as a present for someone.
14:18I've already given it to them.
14:20Well, go and ask for it back.
14:21No chance.
14:22All right, I will.
14:23Who was it?
14:26Mercedes Page and Professor Brelin.
14:33Yeah, another two minutes should do it.
14:36You'll be all right.
14:38I'd better call Sarah Robbins.
14:40Tell me why I've been held up.
14:41I've been thinking about Sarah Robbins.
14:43She's really much better.
14:45You may think so.
14:46I think she needs a rest.
14:48And Pacify is the obvious place.
14:50Why won't that make it worse?
14:52She'll have nothing to take her mind off things.
14:53Rest is important, Rebecca.
14:55Besides, very interesting place.
15:05Oh, well.
15:07Done it now.
15:11Petra confirmed that the entire zone had been shut down.
15:13The lighting circuit, but not the central power line.
15:16I shut it all down.
15:18Thimbo, you shut down the wrong circuit.
15:20They're not on different circuits.
15:21Look, you can come to Compton and have a look.
15:22I think I'll have to, sir, yes.
15:25Look, we'll all go down to Compton, check it out.
15:28And whoever's wrong buys the other a start-up special, huh?
15:30Thimbo, you need drinks orange juice.
15:32I think in this case I might make an exception.
15:35Keep me informed of Paul's progress, okay?
15:38Okay, will do.
15:44Ah, yes.
15:45Ah, I've just one.
15:47Students aren't allowed on the bridge.
15:48You didn't seem to mind when you wanted me to fire the railgun.
15:51Petra, get me Commissioner de Gracie in Space City.
15:54Look, the thing is...
15:55Go away.
15:56Go away now.
16:04No joy?
16:10Well, I can check with computer command,
16:12but there's no reason for there to be security blocked.
16:14We just thought...
16:16Well, the first officer here thought
16:18that after the murder,
16:20the security services might have sealed the whole archive.
16:23Can't see why simple murder inquiry, nothing to hide.
16:25Well, as far as we know...
16:26The man confessed Mr Lewis.
16:28Now, all I know is these Achilles shield files
16:31are impossible to retrieve.
16:33I mean, there's very odd things happening on the ship.
16:35I tried to shut down the power circuits this morning,
16:37but it remained alive and nearly killed someone.
16:39That's just that old computer of yours.
16:40You should trade her in for a new one.
16:42There's nothing wrong with Petra.
16:43Maybe your new captain will insist upon him.
16:45New captain?
16:46Whoever we get to replace, Captain Creasy.
16:48I don't want him replaced.
16:49He'll pass his nav 5 next time.
16:50Sorry to have to break it to you, Charles,
16:52but he just accepted the post of CSC here in Space City.
16:56He what?
16:56I think it's for the best, don't you?
16:58Let's have new blood into the service.
17:00I don't believe it.
17:01Don't tell me he hasn't told you, Charles.
17:04Well, you should have stuck with him.
17:05Oh, yes, and why me?
17:07It was your idea.
17:07You got me into this mess.
17:08Now, we'll chicken out.
17:09He hasn't got the guts.
17:10It's as sensitive as a chunk of moon rock.
17:12Yeah, but ask you Brelin for a present back.
17:14Nobody's got that much nerve.
17:15He should be there to stop him in case he does.
17:16Gabby!
17:17I'd just die of embarrassment.
17:19Just think how it would look.
17:20I gave him a present and Daniel Dumas, I gave it back.
17:22Don't get worked up.
17:23You're a fine friend.
17:24You are fine.
17:26Christophe thinks Fimbo forgot, didn't he?
17:28Hi there.
17:29Hi.
17:29All right, Sarah?
17:30Yeah, how's Paul?
17:31Days, but he'll survive.
17:33Actually, this Fimbo I feel sorry for right now.
17:35He feels terribly responsible.
17:37So much for anti-static guns.
17:39This ship has definitely got gremlins.
17:41Yes, and until we get them sorted out,
17:43Christophe and I think it would be better all around
17:45if you had a chance to get some rest.
17:47Me?
17:47Somewhere quiet.
17:48You're not going to move me out of my cabin, are you?
17:50I promise you'll be quiet.
17:51We thought you could stop off at the observatory on Pacify
17:54while we go through to Achilles.
17:55Stop off?
17:56Just for a few weeks.
17:57But I don't want to.
17:58It's doctor's orders, actually.
17:59He's insisting.
18:00Well, he can't.
18:01He can.
18:02But I don't want to leave the ship.
18:04Melody, you don't want me to go, do you?
18:06I don't know.
18:07Well, if Christophe thinks that...
18:10I don't know.
18:12I need someone who could command a ship.
18:15They made me an offer I couldn't refuse.
18:17My own secretary, six weeks holiday
18:19and concessionary travel to Island Five.
18:21You've got that already.
18:23Look, you're a service man.
18:25You don't want to be stuck behind a desk in Space City.
18:27Time to make way for the future.
18:28I've seen the future.
18:30It's called Fimbo Lewis.
18:31He can't even close down a power circuit.
18:33He's highly qualified.
18:34He's pathetic.
18:35He's highly qualified.
18:37And I think with time,
18:38he'll become an extremely capable officer.
18:41He has his foibles.
18:42But he's canny.
18:43He notices things.
18:44Usually things that aren't there.
18:46They always turn up in the end.
18:47You just have to bear with him.
18:49Hey, Commander, congratulations.
18:51Thanks.
18:51Don't congratulate him.
18:53He's leaving us hopelessly short of crew
18:54for the Jupiter Achilles run.
18:57You've let me down, Elliot.
18:58Let me down badly.
19:00Your watch, Mr Lewis.
19:02Don't worry about him, Fimbo.
19:04He'll come round to you in the end.
19:08Right.
19:09Christophe, let's settle this, shall we?
19:10Petra, show me the electrical blueprints of storage zone two.
19:14I don't want four weeks in Pacify.
19:17I'm going to be bored out of my mind.
19:19Well, I wouldn't mind stepping off.
19:20Well, why don't you?
19:21Well...
19:22Come with me.
19:23Look, Sarah, neither of us will get any rest if we both go.
19:25Oh, God, it is going to be so boring.
19:28I'm going to be surrounded by those astronomers
19:31writing down the numbers of comets like those bloody train spotters.
19:34You never know there might be a nice one.
19:35Oh, a nice astronomer.
19:37Yeah, I like you for it.
19:39Anyway, I thought we were both off men.
19:41Oh, yeah.
19:41I don't want you to get up to anything while I'm away, Melody Short.
19:44No.
19:44In fact, I've seen you looking at Christophe.
19:47Oh.
19:48Do you know?
19:49I think we ought to take an oath.
19:51A what?
19:52We ought to swear to remain pure and chaste.
19:55That sounds a little bit unnecessary.
19:57Here you go.
19:58Take this ring.
19:59It's Bob's eternity ring.
20:01I thought everything of Bob's had gone.
20:04Repeat after me.
20:05I swear, I swear, by this perfidious ring, by this perfidious ring, to abstain from all
20:13men, to abstain from all men, for all time, for all time, for all time, well, until I
20:22get back from pacify, at least.
20:25Well, sorry, you might actually be right.
20:27Might actually be.
20:29You were right, Fimbo.
20:30I was wrong.
20:31Yeah, you were also nearly killed.
20:32Well, I'm Fimbo.
20:33You're a credit to the service.
20:34But if the lights were off, how could the main lights still be live?
20:37Perhaps that's the source of the electrical discharge.
20:40That powerful?
20:41Well, did you measure it?
20:42Not officially, Fimbo, no.
20:44But take it from me.
20:45Sorry.
20:46Hey, could someone have rewired that section and not told Petra to change the diagram?
20:50Yeah, it's possible, but unlikely.
20:51Then what?
20:55Open.
20:57Oh.
20:58Here's Mercedes, sir.
21:00She's in the bath.
21:01Bath?
21:02Good God, you have real bath in this place.
21:04What a luxury.
21:06Oh, I'll come back.
21:07Was it anything I can...
21:08Oh, no, no, no, no.
21:09I was just passing and, um...
21:11Well, yes, actually, yes, Professor.
21:13I came to congratulate you on your recent engagement.
21:16Well, that's very kind of you, Daniel.
21:19Sorry I snapped at you in content.
21:21This Achilles shield programme's giving me hell.
21:23Oh, no, no, no.
21:23I shouldn't have been there.
21:25Come in, then.
21:26Have a drink with me.
21:27Oh, thank you.
21:27That's very kind.
21:29Actually, one of the students just gave us this.
21:32Don't know who.
21:33One of Mercedes fan club.
21:36Brandy all right, is it?
21:38Uh-oh.
21:39Wasted my last bottle on a silly journalist.
21:43What a shame.
21:43I mean, I expect it's just one of Stardust Lil's bathtub concoctions, but beggars' garbage
21:49uses, can they?
21:50No.
21:53And, well...
21:54Yakida.
21:55Y-yak-yakida.
21:57Oh.
21:59You'll certainly excel yourself with this one, eh?
22:01Heh.
22:04Suddenly it feels different.
22:06What does?
22:08Knowing I won't be here next week.
22:10Or ever again.
22:12Maybe not on this ship, but you'll be back in active service soon.
22:15You know as well as I do.
22:16Once behind a desk, always behind a desk.
22:19You'll be a commander.
22:21In command of a million paperclips.
22:23In command of the entire Jupiter Systems Network.
22:27I like you, Fimbo.
22:29What?
22:29You know as well as I do that CSC is a glorified parking attendant.
22:35I'll shunt ships in an outer space harbor, making sure they don't bump into passing asteroids.
22:41Vital, vital work.
22:42Every morning I'll get the commute shuttle, say, good morning, Valerie, as I enter the office,
22:47have a cup of coffee, read the bulletin, do the crossword, and go quietly crazy.
22:52Exactly, that's why we'll be back flying in a couple of months.
22:55Oh, there's that hangar light again.
22:58I thought I saw it earlier.
22:59Petra, zoom in on hangar doors, will you?
23:01Sending me out in style, eh?
23:02I can't see a thing.
23:04First, Melody and Sarah attacked by plasmoids, then pause, nearly electrocuted.
23:09Now there's a hangar fault and no fault.
23:12There's something very odd going on on this ship, Elliot.
23:15Very odd indeed.
23:17Indeed.
23:17Indeed.
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