00:03I started dating Beth Ann in high school.
00:05She used to make me sandwiches and sew buttons on my shirts.
00:10I tell you, there's nothing sexier than a girl who likes to take care of you.
00:14I was introduced to Simona to benefit.
00:17Oh, the entrance she made.
00:19Designer gown dripping in diamonds.
00:23You could tell from the way she walked, she knew she was fabulous.
00:26I first saw Taylor at a women's march.
00:29She was giving a speech about dismantling the patriarchy.
00:32And I don't really remember much of it, because the entire time she was speaking,
00:35I was just thinking, that is one hot feminist.
00:39Beth Ann was a virgin on her wedding night.
00:41I was Simona's third husband.
00:43Right away, Taylor told me she was bisexual.
00:45She wanted nothing more than to be a housewife.
00:47Well, she loved to shop and throw parties.
00:48So I married a lawyer.
00:50My Jewish parents were thrilled.
00:52We were very happy.
00:54For the first few years.
00:56Until she discovered my secret.
00:57And then, all hell broke loose.
01:18Can you believe it?
01:21Oh, Rob.
01:23It's lovely.
01:24Damn straight.
01:26And it's so big.
01:28It's a mansion.
01:29It's what it is.
01:30You're married to a guy who can afford a goddamn mansion.
01:35Oh.
01:36Hello.
01:37Hello.
01:38Sheila Moscone.
01:39This is my husband, Leo.
01:41I guess you're our new neighbors.
01:42I must apologize for my husband's language.
01:45He's excited, because we've never lived anywhere this nice before.
01:48He doesn't usually swear.
01:49Relax.
01:49We're from Brooklyn.
01:51Yeah, we don't give a fuck.
01:54Yes.
01:55Well, it was lovely to meet you.
01:58After you unpack, invite us over.
02:00I'll give you the skinny on all the neighbors.
02:01You know, who to avoid.
02:03She just wants to see if your furniture's nicer than ours.
02:05I married a tightwad.
02:06I know that her furniture is nicer than ours.
02:09The moving men will be here any second.
02:11After they're done, we would love to host you.
02:17I saw you talking to the neighbors.
02:19What are they like?
02:22Italian.
02:23Oh.
02:24Oh.
02:29Oh.
02:50Carl?
02:54Carl?
02:54I'm in here, Simone.
02:56Oh.
02:56The phone is going to ring any second.
02:58It'll be Henri, my hairdresser, and he will be livid.
03:01What have you done?
03:02I'm 20 minutes late.
03:03Again.
03:04He's going to try to say he's given away my appointment.
03:06Don't let him insist I left an hour ago and that you're beyond frantic.
03:10Can you do that, darling?
03:11Can you lie for me?
03:11Well, last week I told Delia Boutros you'd never had work done.
03:15Oh.
03:15This is why you're the best husband I've ever had?
03:17I was just hoping to be in the top three.
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