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Short filmTranscript
00:00Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:04Why don't I just marry you?
00:06I've got a fantastic health plan.
00:07You'll be covered instantly.
00:08Susan got an offer she couldn't afford to refuse.
00:11You've had too much to drink.
00:13Give me your keys.
00:14Brie rejected a helping hand.
00:16I want to have a baby with you.
00:18Gabby gave Carlos the answer he'd been waiting for.
00:21You're my second AB negative today.
00:22Uh, who was it?
00:23That guy.
00:24And Zach began to put A and B together.
00:30Susan Meyer had always believed the punishment should fit the crime.
00:37She first came to this conclusion when she discovered her husband Carl had been unfaithful.
00:43Since Carl had destroyed the love she had given him.
00:51Susan felt it was only appropriate she destroy the things he loved in return.
00:57One by one.
01:03But now, three years after their divorce, Susan was reunited with Carl once again.
01:08Susan, are you listening to me?
01:10As partners in a crime of their own.
01:13This is insurance.
01:14We could both go to jail.
01:16And we can't tell anyone we're getting married.
01:17I know.
01:18I was listening to you.
01:20Now, the prenup's all set.
01:22Sign it at the courthouse.
01:2311.30 Wednesday morning, right?
01:24Right.
01:25And your surgery's still on for Thursday?
01:26Yep.
01:27Good.
01:27The insurance kicks in the minute we say I do.
01:30You're set to go.
01:31I know no one's asking me, but I think this whole thing is a tragic mistake.
01:35And I just don't have it in me to survive another ugly divorce.
01:38Don't worry, honey.
01:39This time it is strictly a business arrangement.
01:41It better be, because if I see so much as one lingering gaze between the two of you,
01:44I swear I'll go to the insurance company and turn you in.
01:47So we shouldn't expect a wedding gift, huh?
01:50Oh, can you grab me your wedding ring?
01:52I want to get it cleaned before the ceremony.
01:55Uh, is that really necessary?
01:58I mean, that we have to do the whole ring thing?
02:00Of course we do.
02:01It's got to look believable.
02:04Yeah, okay.
02:04Well, I'll just grab something out of my jewelry box.
02:07Susan, that ring was my grandmother's.
02:09One day it's going to be Julie's.
02:11Where is it?
02:13I don't know.
02:15Exactly.
02:16That was a family heirloom.
02:17I trusted you with it.
02:19Well, I trusted you not to cheat on me and break my heart.
02:21Oh, my God.
02:22Oh, my God.
02:23What did you do with it?
02:24I threw it out my car window somewhere on Route 7.
02:28What?
02:28When?
02:29The night you abandoned me.
02:31Suze!
02:31Carl, you are so not allowed to get angry.
02:34I mean, I might have been the one to throw away the wedding ring,
02:36but you threw away the whole marriage.
02:38Okay, there was plenty of bad behavior that went on back then,
02:40so just get off your high horse.
02:42We're on the same page now, so we should just focus on that.
02:52Yes, Suze and Meyer believed the punishment should fit the crime.
02:56Carl, I think there might be snakes in here.
02:59We're not leaving here until you find that ring.
03:01It was a tradition at Leonardo's Bar and Grill.
03:21An hour before closing time,
03:23a waiter would sing a selection of ridiculously depressing Italian arias.
03:28It was also a tradition that the only customers who would actually listen
03:32were the ones already depressed to begin with.
03:36Tony, do you have to rush off?
03:45I thought maybe we could just chat for a minute.
03:49So I haven't seen you in a while.
03:51Well, I didn't want to come here because I was afraid it would dredge up memories of my
03:55husband.
03:56You know, this was our place.
03:57Rex passed away recently.
04:01He was murdered by our pharmacist.
04:05Wow.
04:08I hope you change pharmacist.
04:10I didn't have to.
04:11He committed suicide.
04:14Look, you've had a little too much wine tonight.
04:16How about I call you a cab?
04:17Oh, no, no, no.
04:18I'm okay.
04:20Your car would be safe in our lot, and you can pick it up tomorrow.
04:23Please.
04:25Well, okay.
04:27Tony, how many more arias is he going to sing?
04:33Five.
04:34Well, in that case, why don't you bring me another bottle of the Pinot Crucio?
04:40And please hurry.
04:57I'll see you in the middle of the Pinot Crucio.
05:03I'll see you in the middle of the Pinot Crucio.
05:05I'll see you in the middle of the Pinot Crucio.
05:07I'll see you in the middle of the Pinot Crucio.
05:07I'll see you in the middle of the Pinot Crucio.
05:09I'll see you in the middle of the Pinot Crucio.
05:09I'll see you in the middle of the Pinot Crucio.
05:10I'll see you in the middle of the Pinot Crucio.
05:11I'll see you in the middle of the Pinot Crucio.
05:11I'll see you in the middle of the Pinot Crucio.
05:12I'll see you in the middle of the Pinot Crucio.
05:13I'll see you in the middle of the Pinot Crucio.
05:14I'll see you in the middle of the Pinot Crucio.
05:15Brie? Brie? You okay?
05:31Yes? Hi. Did you know your mother is asleep on the lawn?
05:45Oh, wow. Yeah, well you don't seem terribly shocked.
05:52Oh, it's just mom drinks and sometimes she sleeps it off in the weirdest places.
05:58Can I help you with her? No. No, that's okay. I know how to take care of her.
06:04Well, good luck to you then.
06:15I'm coming.
06:30Hey. Hey. Your kids, they have any allergies I should know about?
06:35Uh, nothing I know of. Why? Because I'm watching them.
06:39Tom called, said you both got pulled into work for the weekend, asked me to babysit.
06:44Really? I thought it'd be nice if I gave them back to you alive.
06:47Oh, hey, Ms. McCluskey. Sorry, I forgot to tell you.
06:50Oh, that's okay. Um, would you excuse me just for a second? I have a thing.
06:56Here, thanks. Follow me. You're part of the thing.
07:02A million teenagers in this neighborhood and you hire McCluskey?
07:09What's the big deal? Well, for starters, she's ancient.
07:12Shh. This is a thin door. It was not that long ago that she keeled over in her front yard.
07:16A day with our kids will finish the job. Look, it's only for a few hours.
07:19Plus, Parker's on a play date with the feral, so it's just the twins and Penny.
07:23Just the twins and Penny? Okay, that was stupid. Let me try it another way.
07:29We have to be at work in one hour. There's no daycare on the weekends, so you cut McCluskey loose. We're stuck.
07:36We will find someone. Someone who doesn't remember what they were doing the day Lincoln was shot.
07:42Fine. Let's go break the news. My wife has something to tell you.
07:51So, here's the deal. Um, there was a little miscommunication and as it turns out, we don't need you.
07:57Okay. Fine. I'll just go back home.
08:01Okay. Sorry.
08:03By the way, your husband was right. It's a thin door.
08:08Okay.
08:28Carlos, what are you doing?
08:32Hello, Gabriela.
08:34Mariela.
08:36Oh, hi, Mom.
08:42I just told Carlos I just had to take a shower.
08:45The man next to me on the plane weighed 300 pounds and he sweated all over me.
08:49It was so gross.
08:51No, I'm just surprised you're here. It's Valentine's Day.
08:54Don't you and Mr. Hedge Fund have plans?
08:57I know Carlos and I do.
08:59I love Charles.
09:01What?
09:02He was worth like six million dollars.
09:04Money is not everything, Gabriela, for some people.
09:07But we're talking about you now, Mother.
09:09You know, I can't believe this. I mean, I just went through a terrible breakup.
09:13And the least you could do is pretend to care.
09:15Well, of course we feel awful about it, don't we, Gabriel?
09:19Yeah, we're just sick about it.
09:21Well, don't worry about me. I'll be okay.
09:25In fact, I bought myself a little gift to take my mind off my problems.
09:30Really, what did you buy?
09:32New pops!
09:33Whoa!
09:34No peeking, Carlos.
09:35Hey, Mom, put these away!
09:37My plastic surgeon gave me a great deal.
09:39Aren't they fun?
09:41Bye, Carlos.
09:43What? I think she's charming.
09:49Okay, you can think she's charming.
09:52But don't forget for one second that she is a monster.
09:56Did you get the gum out from under the diamond?
10:01Mostly.
10:02Morning.
10:04Hi, happy Valentine's Day.
10:06Dr. Ron, did you spend the night?
10:10Well, I got kind of tired after the movie, so I asked...
10:13It's okay. She knows that you make house calls.
10:15Oh.
10:16So listen, I got surgery until 6.
10:18I'll get dressed and I'll pick you up at about 7.
10:20We have reservations at Shay and Naomi.
10:22Great! I'll have a light lunch.
10:23And also, Dr. Cunningham's schedule will open up,
10:25so if you'd like, we can move up your surgery to Wednesday.
10:28Oh, I have a wedding that day.
10:30On a Wednesday?
10:31Uh, yeah. Wednesdays are becoming very popular with brides.
10:37It's like the new Saturday.
10:39Oh, okay.
10:41Well, I'll see you tonight.
10:49Your mother is a rotten, sneaky person.
10:51Look, I'm not too crazy about this whole fake marriage thing,
10:55but if you don't have that operation, you could die.
10:58So don't be so hard on yourself.
11:00You are a good person.
11:03Thanks, hon.
11:04That really helps.
11:06Okay.
11:07Now I want you to go over and slip this ring to your father.
11:09And just so you know, if Edie catches you,
11:11I'm expecting you to swallow it.
11:17How's the hangover?
11:20I do not have a hangover, Andrew, because I was not drunk.
11:25And, uh, how about a little hair of the dog?
11:28I'll park you right up.
11:30Look, for the record, I had an allergic reaction to my antihistamine medication,
11:36so I would appreciate just a little bit of sympathy.
11:39Why can't you just drink alone in your room like Tammy's mom?
11:41For God's sakes, it was an honest mistake.
11:43I thought I could have just a little bit of wine with dinner,
11:45but apparently my body couldn't handle it.
11:53Fine.
11:54If it makes everybody happy,
11:56I will just suffer through my sneezing fits in my hives on my own.
11:59Fair.
12:01Is that better?
12:02So, basically, you would rather drink than to not have allergies?
12:13Hi, is now a bad time?
12:14I could really use a favor.
12:15I could really use a favor.
12:23She was beautiful, wasn't she?
12:25Yeah.
12:28Come on, sit down. Your breakfast is getting cold.
12:30Is my real mother beautiful?
12:43Well, she was attractive, as I recall.
12:47Do I look like her?
12:50I don't know. I only met her once.
12:53Oh.
12:54Well, because if I don't look like her,
12:55then I might look like my real dad.
13:00I'm getting real tired of your morbid fascination
13:03with two strangers that didn't love you enough to keep you.
13:06So, please, stop asking about them.
13:11It's only natural that I'd want to talk about my birth parents.
13:15Well, it may be natural,
13:18but it certainly isn't polite.
13:24And once your daughter was dead,
13:25they had to get rid of her somehow.
13:27That's where the toy chest came in.
13:29Flash forward 15 years.
13:32Chest washes up on the shore of Rockwater Lake.
13:35Any forensic evidence is long gone.
13:37The Youngs get away with murder.
13:40Now, of course, the wife, Mary Alice, is already dead,
13:44but Paul Young's a different matter.
13:47If you'd like me to deal with him,
13:51just say the word.
13:52Doffino's bringing my grandson here.
13:57I want to get the kid something.
14:00Do you know anything about those MP3 things?
14:05Yeah, they're real nice.
14:07I'd go with that.
14:09Ah, he's probably got one already.
14:12Paul Young has had 16 years
14:14to give my grandkid anything he wants.
14:18Do me a favor, will ya?
14:20Yeah.
14:21See you at the...
14:23Paul Young has a toy chest of his very own.
14:26Carl!
14:28Yeah?
14:29This place is a freakin' pigsty!
14:32Would you get down here and help me?
14:34All right, hold on.
14:35It's almost half-time.
14:36By the way, I made dinner reservations
14:37at Shay and Naomi tonight, if that's okay.
14:38It's gotta be better than that rat hole you took me to on New Year's.
14:40And don't even think of getting me carnations again.
14:42That crap might have flown from Meyer.
14:44I actually have taste.
14:46Come on! Move it!
14:49I'm not going to see you.
14:51I'm not going to see you.
14:53No, I'm not going to see you.
14:55Just going to see you later.
14:57I'm not going to see you later.
15:00I'm not going to see you later.
15:02You're just going to see you later.
15:03I'm not going to see you later.
15:04I'm not going to see you later.
15:05No, no, no, sit and watch your game.
15:18I was just giving you a hard time.
15:20I've had a tough week.
15:25Boys, can you just keep it down just a little bit
15:28because I have a very special type of grown-up headache.
15:33We need to see Mommy and Daddy.
15:35We want to play them our song.
15:36Honey, you can't. They're at work.
15:38What can we play for you?
15:44Sure.
15:46Just a moment, okay?
15:51All right, boys, let's have it.
15:55When I heard that you two wanted to try for another child,
16:06I was delighted, but I had some cause for concern.
16:10Gabrielle, you suffered some extensive injuries
16:13during your fall last month,
16:14and the tests confirm there are complications.
16:17You can't have kids?
16:21Well, the doctor's not 100% positive,
16:23but it's very, very iffy.
16:25Carlos, I am so sorry.
16:27I know how much you wanted to be a dad.
16:29Thanks.
16:30Oh, don't be so suicidal.
16:32We can always adopt.
16:33I wanted to have a child of our own.
16:34You know that.
16:35What does it matter whose DNA it is?
16:36The diapers are still going to smell the same regardless.
16:38I just prefer not to adopt, okay?
16:41Fine.
16:42What about surrogacy?
16:43I mean, I know it's pricey,
16:45but at least the baby would look like us,
16:47and I wouldn't get stretch marks.
16:48It's a win-win.
16:50Great.
16:50So then we have some stranger off the street
16:52giving birth to our child.
16:53Is that what you really want?
16:54What I want is for you to lighten up.
16:56We don't have a lot of options,
16:57and you're going to have to pick one.
16:59I have a thought.
17:01Well, it did sound a little bit controversial,
17:04but go with me.
17:05Well, first of all, let me tell you
17:07that I am in the best shape of my life.
17:09So?
17:09So, what if I was your surrogate?
17:16Yeah, I know.
17:16I know it might sound a little crazy,
17:18but I am the only one in the world
17:20that you can trust
17:21who will put the baby's needs first.
17:23You know, I'll exercise more.
17:25I'll eat better.
17:26Mother, no.
17:28Why?
17:29Off the top of my head, you're on Medicare.
17:32Oh, God.
17:32I am only 51.
17:35You know, and there's this woman in England last year.
17:37She was 63 years old,
17:38and she gave birth to her own grandchild.
17:41Look, I don't care if she shot triplets out of her ass.
17:43It's not going to happen.
17:47Can you believe this?
17:49How'd that England baby turn out?
17:51It didn't have, like, a big head or anything, did it?
17:53Carlos, you are not seriously considering this.
17:55Well, think about it, Gabby.
17:57This way, the surrogate wouldn't be some impersonal incubator.
17:59There'd be a family tie.
18:04I have a migraine.
18:05I'm going to go lay down upstairs.
18:07And when I get up,
18:08I hope we can all talk about this
18:09like rational human beings.
18:11I'm going to go lay down.
18:14Carlitos, don't worry.
18:17Just give her time.
18:18She'll come around.
18:49Okay, we're done playing hide-and-seek.
19:12Boys!
19:13Porter!
19:14Bastard!
19:15This isn't funny!
19:17Mrs. McCluskey, hi.
19:18Have you seen the Scarborough Boys?
19:19Well, can't say that I have.
19:21Why?
19:22I have something to tell them.
19:23Ah.
19:24Have they signed the contract?
19:25Because if not, somebody should call Bednar and tell them to adjust the language.
19:29I'm sorry, hang on.
19:30Hello?
19:31Isn't that Scarborough?
19:32Yes.
19:33I believe I have something that belongs to you.
19:36Why?
19:37Excuse me.
19:38You said my kids are here?
19:39Hi, Mommy!
19:40Hi, Mommy!
19:41Oh, my God!
19:42Dad!
19:43I have something to tell them.
19:44I have something to tell them.
19:45Have they signed the contract?
19:46Because if not, somebody should call Bednar and tell them to adjust the language.
19:48I'm sorry, hang on.
19:49Hello?
19:50Isn't that Scarborough?
19:51Yes.
19:52I believe I have something that belongs to you.
20:00Why?
20:01Excuse me.
20:02You said my kids are here?
20:03Hi, Mommy!
20:04Hi, Mommy!
20:05Oh, my God!
20:06Dad!
20:07What were you thinking?
20:08Take her off like that.
20:09What were you thinking?
20:11Get your stuff.
20:12Get your stuff.
20:13Right over here.
20:15Thank you so much.
20:16Stay right here.
20:17I'm just glad I found them and not some weird old freak.
20:20Oh, yes.
20:21Oh, yeah, me too.
20:23Because there are all sorts of crazy people out there.
20:25Drunks.
20:26Perverts.
20:27Molesters.
20:28Yes.
20:29Yeah, no, I know.
20:30No.
20:31You got really lucky.
20:32I mean, a different person might have called the cops or child welfare.
20:35Well, okay, I know how this looks, but I have to tell you I left them with a very reliable babysitter.
20:41Oh, yeah.
20:42You picked a real winner.
20:43Are you judging me?
20:47Because if you are, you couldn't say anything.
20:49Lynette.
20:50Lynette.
20:51What?
20:52Let her go.
20:53The kids walked for three miles to get here.
20:54We don't have a leg to stand on.
20:56Well, thank you so much.
20:58Here we go.
21:00Here we go.
21:01Okay.
21:02That's right.
21:03That's right.
21:04That's right.
21:05Hey, I don't know about you, but I am tired of all the tension around here.
21:10So, I was thinking we could go shopping, have some fun.
21:13Then maybe later we can talk about the surrogacy thing.
21:16See if we can make it work.
21:17Oh, Gabriela.
21:19You'll see.
21:20This is the best thing for the entire family.
21:31So, where's the boutique?
21:32Oh, it's in the hotel lobby.
21:34So, go ahead.
21:35I'm right behind you.
21:36Okay.
21:37What are you doing?
21:48I'm going home.
21:49What?
21:50I thought we were going to talk about how the surrogacy will work.
21:55Here's how it's going to work.
21:56You're going to check yourself into the hotel, and then tomorrow you're going to plant your
21:59childbearing hips on a plane, and you're going to leave our lives forever.
22:02I'm pulling out.
22:07Watch your boobs.
22:22Oh, thank God.
22:23I'm so sorry.
22:24I don't know what happened.
22:26I was in the kitchen cleaning up after making cookies, and I looked in the living room,
22:30and they were gone.
22:32We tried to tell her we were going, but she was asleep.
22:35You were sleeping?
22:37I most certainly was not.
22:39Yes, you were.
22:40Okay.
22:41All right.
22:42That lie just lost you another week of TV and video game privileges.
22:45That's two.
22:46You want to keep talking and lose more?
22:47What?
22:48Then apologize to Mrs. Vandekamp.
22:50I'm sorry.
22:51No.
22:52No harm done.
22:53I'm sorry.
22:54I'm so sorry.
22:55Ugh.
23:00Well, if you asked me, it's a pretty crappy thing to do.
23:03Did you even slow the car down before you pushed her out?
23:05Okay, first of all, no one asked you.
23:07And the only reason you care about my mother is because of that ridiculous suggestion she
23:10offered.
23:11I think her offer to be our surrogate was very generous.
23:13Generous?
23:14Don't you see the strings attached?
23:16What strings?
23:17The only reason she offered up her dusty womb is because she's screwed.
23:20Her latest sugar daddy gave her the boot, so mom needs a place to stay and money.
23:24So trust me, if she carried our child, we'd be footing the bill for years.
23:28I think your hatred for her is clouding your judgment.
23:30Maybe.
23:31But you don't know her like I do.
23:35Okay.
23:36You ran away from home 15 years ago.
23:39Did you ever think to talk to her about the stuff that happened between you and your stepdad?
23:43It wouldn't have done any good.
23:46How do you know that?
23:48Because she knew exactly what was going on with Alejandro.
23:53And she chose to look the other way.
23:55But you never even gave her a chance to step up.
23:56You just ran away from home.
23:57Because if I did, then she would...
24:02Because there was a chance she wouldn't have believed me.
24:06And that would have hurt a lot worse than anything he ever did to me.
24:18She's your mother and she loves you.
24:25I know it's been a very long time, but maybe you can talk to her about it now.
24:36I'm getting her luggage back to her and that's the best I can do.
24:48What are you doing here?
24:54There's something I need to talk to you about.
24:56It's important.
24:57There's nothing for us to talk about.
24:59Shut up and listen.
25:02Deirdre's father, Noah Taylor, somehow found out about Zack.
25:05And he wants to meet him.
25:08Somehow found out?
25:09Like maybe you told him?
25:10Noah is no friend of mine.
25:12But he's very rich and powerful and he's terminal.
25:15And he wants to meet his grandson before he dies.
25:18Absolutely not.
25:20Well you'll be surprised, but I agree with you.
25:23Noah destroys everything he touches.
25:25And the last thing either of us wants
25:27is for this guy to get his hooks into Zack.
25:35What are we supposed to do?
25:37You and Zack need to vanish.
25:38Just stay out of sight until nature takes its course with Noah.
25:41If we leave, we won't be coming back.
25:46You'll never see your boy again.
25:50I know.
25:59Happy Valentine's Day, my darling.
26:02Isn't that your ex-husband?
26:05Oh, yeah.
26:09Apparently they'll let anyone in here.
26:12Hi.
26:14Your chocolate souffles will be out momentarily.
26:17We didn't order a souffle.
26:18I ordered it as soon as we got here.
26:20It takes an hour to prepare.
26:21Oh, I really can't. I'm stuffed.
26:23No, no, no. This you'll want to try.
26:25It's their specialty.
26:29I guess I'll have the souffle.
26:31Can you excuse me for a second?
26:34I, um...
26:35I just have to powder my nose.
26:41I'm sorry to interrupt.
26:43Your makeup is all smudged.
26:44Come with me, I'll fix it.
26:45What?
26:46Come on, get up.
26:48Sorry.
26:49My makeup is smudging.
26:51In here.
26:56I have some news that's probably going to devastate you.
26:58But I wanted to be the first one to tell you.
27:02Okay.
27:04Carl is about to pop the question.
27:06You mean, like marriage?
27:07Mm-hmm.
27:09Oh, I hope I haven't ruined your Valentine's Day.
27:11Do you want a tissue?
27:12No, no, I'm okay.
27:13I'm just surprised.
27:15Um...
27:16Well, congratulations.
27:18Uh, what makes you think he's gonna propose?
27:21Well, I, um...
27:23I was looking through his briefcase this afternoon,
27:25and I found this ring.
27:26And so tonight he keeps pushing this special dessert on me,
27:29so obviously he's hidden the ring inside.
27:33A ring?
27:35What did it look like?
27:37Oh, I don't know.
27:3818-carat white gold, 10 diamonds, engraved accents.
27:40I just got a quick peek.
27:42Oh, um...
27:44I think I know that ring.
27:45That's his grandmother's ring.
27:46It's a family heirloom.
27:47And, you know, he might just be having it cleaned or something.
27:52Except for one thing.
27:54Lying right next to it?
27:57It was a prenup.
28:00Well, Carl is a lawyer,
28:03and it could just be a prenup for another client.
28:08Boy, jealousy is one ugly thing up close.
28:12Oh, no, Edie...
28:13No, you know what?
28:14I'm gonna take the high road,
28:15and I'm gonna ignore your nastiness.
28:18If you'll excuse me,
28:19I'm going back to my table
28:22and getting engaged.
28:26Up!
28:38Oh, hi.
28:39Did you see that man over there?
28:40Dark hair, handsome.
28:41Why don't you just look this to him without anybody noticing?
28:54Oh, God, you never stop.
28:56I told you, I'm not divorcing my wife.
28:58I'm in this for the sex,
28:59and if you can't accept it, then go to hell.
29:11What the hell are you doing?
29:14I thought you said this dessert was special.
29:16When you put it in your mouth and eat it,
29:17what is wrong with you?
29:19Well...
29:22Nothing.
29:30Carlos.
29:32What a surprise. Come on here.
29:33I thought you could use your bags.
29:34Oh, yes.
29:35Perfect timing.
29:36I just took a shower and needed something to change into.
29:39Here, leave your ears.
29:40Fine, thank you.
29:42Listen, do you have a minute?
29:43Because I need to talk to you about something.
29:45Yeah, sure.
29:46Sit down.
29:47Talk as I dress.
29:49I'll leave it open so I can hear you.
29:52Look, I was thinking about your surrogacy idea.
29:56Mm-hmm.
29:58And I think it could be the answer to all of our problems.
30:00That is, if you're still interested.
30:01Yes.
30:03I mean...
30:04I am.
30:06But I just think that Gally will never let it happen.
30:09No, no.
30:10She can be convinced.
30:11I know it.
30:12Can you please zip me up?
30:15Huh?
30:16My zipper.
30:17It's stuck.
30:23They did that so fast.
30:25I know someone who works out.
30:29As I was saying, I think the surrogacy idea could work.
30:34Um...
30:36But you and Gabby are going to have to mend some fences.
30:39After such a long time, what is the point?
30:41Monsieur, please, hear me out.
30:44There was a lot of stuff that Gabby went through when she was younger.
30:47A lot of stuff that you don't know about.
30:49And I think that if you went to her and asked her about it,
30:51then the two of you could finally get past it.
30:53What stuff are you talking about, Carlos?
30:59Your second husband, Alejandro?
31:03When Gabby was 15, he assaulted her sexually.
31:06Is that what she told you?
31:09Look, I know that it comes as a shock for you to be hearing it from me.
31:12Carlos, please, I am aware they had sex.
31:15But it was Gabriela who seduced him.
31:20Excuse me?
31:22She was always jealous of me.
31:24You know, you don't know how many times I caught her wearing my shoes,
31:27trying on my jewelry, and I'd scream at her to leave my things alone.
31:30But no, she wanted whatever I had.
31:33Then one night, she set her sights on Alejandro.
31:37Believe me, no one got raped.
31:42Lucia, she was only 15 years old.
31:46You know, a lot of men have left me over the years, and I never knew the reason.
31:50But when Alejandro left, I knew exactly why it happened.
31:55Gabriela made him fall in love with her.
31:58It took me so many years to forgive her.
32:03You forgave her?
32:05But of course.
32:07I couldn't have offered to carry her baby unless I had.
32:09Carl!
32:18Carl!
32:19Come here.
32:25Why didn't you answer your damn cell phone?
32:26I turned it off.
32:27What's going on?
32:28Where's Edie?
32:29She's upstairs.
32:30She's been in a pissy mood ever since we left the restaurant.
32:32I don't know what's wrong with her.
32:33She found the ring and the prenup in your briefcase.
32:35She thought you were gonna pop the question tonight.
32:37Oh, no.
32:38No.
32:39Oh, yes.
32:40You know, this whole fake marriage thing was okay when nobody was getting hurt.
32:43What are we doing?
32:44It's a lie.
32:45I lost Mike over a lie, and now I'm doing the same thing to Dr. Ron.
32:48And look at Edie.
32:49She was devastated.
32:51I don't think I can go through with this.
32:53You can't call off the wedding.
32:54How are you gonna pay for your surgery?
32:55I don't know.
32:56You know, I'll just...
32:57I'll sell the car.
32:58Susie, this is your health we're talking about.
33:01We're getting married.
33:02Carl.
33:03No.
33:04Dr. Ron would be the first to say that you're doing the right thing.
33:05I'll figure out some way to handle Edie.
33:08How?
33:09How are you gonna handle Edie?
33:10That poor woman's dreams exploded in her face tonight.
33:13It's not like you can just go out and buy her flowers and everything will be better.
33:16Then I'll propose to her.
33:19Well, that's a little extreme.
33:22Not really.
33:23I was probably gonna do it eventually anyhow.
33:25Obviously, we're gonna have to get a divorce before I can actually marry her.
33:29But, uh...
33:30What?
33:31Anthony, I just...
33:34I didn't know that you loved her like that.
33:37She's a great kid.
33:38Total package.
33:39What's the matter, Susie Q?
33:40Jealous?
33:41No, of course not.
33:42Well, okay.
33:43This is good.
33:44Because, you know, if this experience helped you to realize your true feelings, then, uh...
33:58Then we did something good here.
34:00Yeah.
34:01I think we have.
34:02Come here.
34:03I can't believe you thought I was jealous.
34:08It's not like I still have feelings for you anymore.
34:11You're right.
34:12No.
34:13Mom's just fooling around.
34:17So?
34:18How did it go?
34:19Fine.
34:20I just dropped off the luggage and left.
34:23Oh.
34:30Mmm.
34:33What was that for?
34:35No reason.
34:38Hey, I was thinking.
34:40We should look into adoption.
34:43Seriously?
34:44Hmm.
34:46But I thought you wanted a kid with your own DNA?
34:49Blood isn't everything.
35:03Hey.
35:08I heard you lost your kids yesterday.
35:10Yeah.
35:12It was cleared up.
35:13It's just a little confusion.
35:14Uh, help me out here with something.
35:16Uh, what exactly is it you look for in a babysitter?
35:19Excuse me?
35:20Well, I may be ancient, like you say, but I've never gotten drunk and lost track of three kids.
35:25What?
35:26I smelled wine on Bree Bandicap when she was looking for your boys.
35:30That's ridiculous.
35:31Is it?
35:32Yesterday I found her passed out in her front lawn, drunk as a skunk.
35:35I've known Bree for years and years.
35:36There's no way she was drinking while babysitting my kids.
35:39So, just go spread your poison somewhere else, okay?
35:44I just thought I'd do you a favor and let you know, that's all.
35:46Okay, well, thanks.
35:54Hi.
35:56You, um, you recovered from all of yesterday's excitement?
35:59Oh, truthfully, I haven't been able to get my mind off it.
36:03What a scare, huh?
36:04Yeah.
36:05Although, I still can't figure out how my boys managed to sneak past you.
36:11Well, you know how boys are at that age.
36:13They're escape artists.
36:14They're like lightning.
36:17It's just Penny.
36:19Penny?
36:20Well, I mean, I just don't understand how Porter and Preston managed to wrangle her into the stroller
36:25and then make it out your front door without you even noticing.
36:36I guess if you'd fallen asleep, it could have happened like that, I guess.
36:40You know, I think, um, I must have been cleaning the kitchen and I, I just didn't hear them because of the noise from the dishwasher.
36:48Look, I apologize in advance for how this is going to sound, but I have to ask it, it's just gonna eat away at me.
36:54Were you drinking while babysitting my kids?
36:57No!
37:02Oh, you know, I may have had just the tiniest little bit of Chardonnay.
37:08Oh, gosh, you got drunk and you passed out.
37:14Lynette, if I close my eyes even for a moment, it's because of these antihistamines I've been taking.
37:19Really? Is that why you passed out on your front lawn yesterday morning?
37:22Now that you're speaking to me in a fairly accusatory tone, may I remind you that I was doing you a favor?
37:29You put my kids in danger and then you lied about it. Do you not get how big that is?
37:32Do you have some kind of problem with alcohol?
37:34No, the only problem I have is with your children.
37:36They're incorrigible because you let them run amok.
37:38And if I hadn't drifted off, they would have waited until I was in the bathroom or stuck on the phone or upstairs doing laundry.
37:44On any given day, how many glasses of wine do you put away?
37:53I will not be spoken to like that. I just won't.
38:14Now and then, we all need a little help.
38:19So we ask for small favors.
38:23Thanks. I owe you one.
38:25But it's always best to be wary of those eager to come to our rescue.
38:30Well, go on. Kiss the bride.
38:33Because even the smallest of favors...
38:40Sure thing, Tom. I'd be happy to babysit for you.
38:44My, have you noticed how clogged my rain gutters are?
38:47Carries a price tag.
38:50Yes, everyone has an agenda.
38:52I heard about your operation, Auntie Ness, and I'm jumping on a plane right now to come and help you out.
38:58No matter what they may tell us.
39:00No, I'm happy to.
39:02But I'm prepared to stay as long as it takes.
39:07And in those rare instances where there is no ulterior motive,
39:11we're so taken aback that we may fail to recognize the truth.
39:28That a loving friend has just done us an enormous favor.
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