- 12 hours ago
Local friends expose Tony to the wild, exciting, proud culture of Montreal.
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00:00You know, if I were the mayor, you know, when you take the plane in, you know, the little
00:08air, the airplane magazine, you'd be on the cover every single time.
00:11This is why you should come to Montreal.
00:14You're cultural f***ing icons.
00:16Give him the money.
00:18What's not to like?
00:19It's an obscenity of a crime against God and all its decent, but it's delicious.
00:23This is a great country because of this city.
00:26Without Montreal, Canada would be hopeless.
00:27It's where the cool kids hang.
00:29I think it's a win-win situation.
00:31If we get arrested, it's good.
00:34We all of us have our water loop.
00:36Mine will be in about 15 f***ing minutes.
00:5324 hours in Montreal.
00:54It depends what time, but I would suspect first thing in the morning I would go for breakfast.
00:57Lunch.
00:58Lunch.
00:58Oh, lunch.
01:00Dinner in Montreal.
01:01Oh, man.
01:02Usually what I do is I stick my finger down my throat and I purge so I can go eat again,
01:06but that's me.
01:06You know, not everyone has the same habit.
01:09I don't really know what Montreal is like for normal people.
01:18What I can tell you is that for chefs, it's notoriously a very dangerous place, largely because of these guys.
01:25Norman and Martin and Joe Beef dudes.
01:29This is a great chef culture.
01:31But that comes later.
01:33You should know Montreal is close, about an hour and change from New York City.
01:40If you care, its exact location is on an island at the confluence of the St. Lawrence and Ottawa rivers.
01:47That's not so important to know.
01:48Montreal is located in southwest Quebec, however.
01:52That is important to know.
01:54If you're flying, chances are you'll arrive at the Trudeau International Airport, about 20 miles from the city center.
02:00Come on, let's get in the cab, guys.
02:02Let's go.
02:03Safely on the ground, minus a pretzel dog's spooge shirt, I've got just over 24 hours here.
02:10Such are the tragic circumstances of my life that I found myself standing around in the Guardia this morning, suddenly with limited meal options.
02:18And I bought the pretzel dog.
02:20I take a bite and the freaking dog squirts out of the pretzel tube and it lands right on my shirt.
02:26But it's all good now.
02:27From the airport, you can take a cab to town for a flat fee of about 38 bucks or a limo for about twice that amount.
02:35If you're on a budget, about 8 bucks will get you in a town on the shuttle to the main bus terminal where you could connect with the metro.
02:42But with luggage, that'll be about as much fun as a back rub from a rabid bonobo, so try to avoid.
02:48If you're driving, cool. Just know that here, French would come in handy.
02:53Even though Montréal is bilingual, the traffic signs are in French.
02:57The 101 bill to protect the language.
03:00The street signs are only in French.
03:03Directions can be tricky, too.
03:05Here's the way it works.
03:06It's so strange.
03:07But the north is not north like the North Pole because we use the river.
03:11Go figure, we don't use the stars like the rest of the world.
03:13We use the river as sort of our reference point.
03:15So to us, the north is like sort of this way, it's almost west, which makes south kind of east.
03:20Anyway, the point is, bring the iPhone, make sure you have the app, you'll be fine.
03:24And it's worth knowing as well that the speed limits are in kilometers per hour, not miles.
03:30So be aware of that little detail as well.
03:33Okay?
03:34What should you know about Montréal?
03:43Well, that it's not little Paris north of the border.
03:47It's not France.
03:48Nobody wants this to be France.
03:50But it's also not North America.
03:52It's kind of in between.
03:54You don't really have to speak French to come here.
03:56Montréal is a super bilingual city.
03:59French is accepted as much as English is accepted.
04:02They're both official languages to a point where it's a little bit schizophrenic.
04:05And you don't come here to eat French food, though there's plenty of it should you want.
04:11Food is, however, a major, major reason to come here.
04:15There are plenty of hotels for all budgets in Montréal, but as I mentioned, I'm meeting some very dangerous friends and have an early departure.
04:22I might not need a hotel this time around.
04:25So it's really good to be back in Montréal.
04:27Gee, I wonder what it says in the travel guide.
04:29Montréal was named the bank robbery capital of North America in 1988.
04:34The Irish mob has a wing here.
04:35That's encouraging.
04:36Sin City.
04:38Abundance of strip clubs.
04:39Don't be fooled into going to non-contact clubs.
04:41Full contact clubs are the same price.
04:44This is utterly useless, as always.
04:47Breakfast.
04:47Breakfast.
04:47Breakfast.
04:48Breakfast.
04:48Breakfast.
04:49Breakfast.
04:49Breakfast.
04:49Breakfast.
04:49Breakfast.
04:49Breakfast.
04:49Breakfast.
04:50Breakfast.
04:50Breakfast.
04:50Breakfast.
04:51Breakfast.
04:51Breakfast.
04:52Breakfast.
04:52Breakfast.
04:52Breakfast.
04:53Luncheonette.
04:53It's where they pretty much invented breakfast around here.
04:56It's never changed.
04:57It stayed the same as it was back in the 40s.
05:00Jaime Skolnick runs this and has since he was a child, and now he's about 90.
05:05How do you do?
05:06Welcome.
05:06Nice to have you.
05:07How long has this place been in operation?
05:09It's beautiful.
05:09I think 42.
05:10You were the first once to start Becker's monthly off.
05:12Those days, nobody ate less now during the war.
05:15Three generations of Skolnicks run this place.
05:18They pretty much got it figured out.
05:20What should I have?
05:21I'm known for the special, which is the bagel with the smoked salmon, cream cheese, onion,
05:25and tomato.
05:26And then we're also well known for our bishmash omelette, which is hot dog, salami, fried onions,
05:30and green peppers.
05:31I'm going to go for the bagel.
05:32So the great debate, who has the better bagel, New York or Montreal?
05:36It's a completely ridiculous apples and oranges discussion, because they're completely
05:41different creatures.
05:42You know, they have a very old Jewish community here for a long time.
05:44They've been making bagels a long time, just they make them different.
05:47They're sort of crispier, sweeter.
05:50I'm a New Yorker, so you know where my allegiance lies.
05:52But I think it's unfair to both quite magnificent products to try and compare them.
05:58But if you're looking to settle the pointlessly contentious argument about who has the better
06:02bagel, you might begin your investigations here.
06:06It's Saint-Villateur's, one of the best examples of the local style.
06:11Hand rolled, wood-fire baked, and using the same Eastern European recipe they brought over
06:16half a century ago.
06:18And they are indeed very, very good.
06:21Grab a bagel and check out the surroundings.
06:23My land is an artsy neighborhood.
06:25You've got your boutiques, your galleries, or your bohemian cafes, like this one.
06:32If you are a citizen of the People's Republic of Laptopistan, and like sitting for hours,
06:36sipping the latte, listening to Tracy Chapman, and twirling your soul patch while perusing
06:41your Twitter feed, maybe Club Social works for you.
06:44Personally, I'd rather dunk my head in boiling duck fat.
06:47I haven't had a morning crap yet.
06:49A little concerned.
06:53Contemplating the mysteries of the bagel.
06:56Hey, like books?
06:58I know I do.
06:59In fact, I recently became a publisher of fine books, and hopefully some of them will be sold
07:04at fine, independent bookstores like this one, Appetite for Books.
07:09As part of a new campaign of pandering to the Indies, I meet up with Jonathan Chung, himself
07:14a trained chef who grew up in his family's restaurant business.
07:17He's taking me over to the market, a particularly good one I happen to know from previous experience.
07:23Montreal, Little Italy.
07:26Means of transportation from his store in Westmount, for Jonathan anyway, bicycle.
07:32Montreal is considered North America's hub for bicycle riding.
07:39You can't throw stone without hitting somebody on a Bixie bike.
07:42The Bixie bike is a ubiquitous rental bike.
07:45You can find rows of them at any of 400 docking stations around town.
07:50Pay a small fee and go anywhere you like.
07:53Just drop the bike off at any other station.
07:56Montreal's finest.
07:57It's like I'm riding my bike to go buy some crack or something.
08:02One activity in Montreal, grab a Bixie bike all over the city.
08:06We're full of bike paths.
08:07We're full of interesting characters.
08:09Only thing to do, Bixie around, check out, people watch.
08:13What is this?
08:14So the parking for bikes?
08:15That's like extremely environmentally friendly.
08:17We don't have that in New York.
08:18This would be called a buffet for thieves in New York.
08:22Voila.
08:23Wow.
08:24All right.
08:25The market is that way.
08:30This neighborhood is known for two things, Italian immigrants and this.
08:35This is Le Marché Jean Talon, one of two main farmer's markets.
08:41People tend to get exuberant about growing things around here in summer.
08:45Winter is brutal.
08:46It kills us.
08:47You know, minus 40 degrees Celsius, which I don't know what the conversion in Fahrenheit
08:52is, but it's cold.
08:53Icicles that form on your eyes.
08:55The cold does keep the riff-raff indoors.
08:57As well as like the snakes.
08:59There's no snakes because it's cold.
09:01We hate snakes.
09:02There's no Ebola virus because it's cold.
09:04Cholera is very, very, very, very little ninjas.
09:07Sweat your balls off in the summer and freeze your ass off in the winter.
09:11It's such a short growing season.
09:12Right when the ground thaws, things start popping up right away.
09:16Because they know there's not a lot of time for it to grow.
09:19Peak season, when everything is bursting out of the ground and flowering and .
09:23The 20 or so year-round shops swell to over 300 seasonal vendors.
09:28One day they'll have beautiful red peppers and fresh English peas.
09:32And by the end of the week, they're not going to be here anymore because the season's over.
09:36And they're going to be more into tomatoes, onions, and beautiful radishes.
09:41You can't walk away with nothing.
09:43Even you, Tony. Come on.
09:44I was thinking about cheese.
09:46Cheese and cured meat.
09:48Oh, yeah. Cured meats.
09:50Sadly, we won't be showing you any of them.
09:52Here's something.
09:53In Montreal, enlightenment about cheeses still reigns.
10:01That means you can still get unpasteurized raw milk cheese.
10:05Banned by ignoramuses in the States since 1949.
10:09So, let me get this straight.
10:10You can use raw milk cheese now in your 60 days.
10:12Yeah.
10:13At the age of 60 days, they say that then, like, everything dies.
10:16This is very good news for artisanal cheesemakers like this guy.
10:21This guy makes one cheese.
10:22One cheese.
10:23One cheese.
10:24This is raw goat's milk cheese, actually.
10:27Mmm. That was really good.
10:29A little more, yeah.
10:31After you eat this, you get this kind of aftertaste that sits with you.
10:37And it coats your mouth.
10:38And it's a lot more full, richer.
10:41Well, you taste what the animal ate.
10:43Absolutely.
10:44The greatest single crime against food is that they make it so difficult to make cheese
10:49as good as it should be, you know?
10:50Yeah, absolutely.
10:51Beautiful.
10:52And delicious.
10:53If you want a larger selection from all over the place, wherever they got it good,
10:58then La Fromagerie Atwater would be a good option.
11:01Proprietor Gilles Jourdonnais has done all the legwork for you.
11:05Cheesemakers in Quebec, we have about 85.
11:07I sell 850 cheeses right now if you come to the shop.
11:10It's like a cheese sommelier.
11:11The one strength I have is I have a fantastic memory.
11:14I remember what I sold to my customer two years ago when he married his daughter.
11:18It's a living, breathing product, so that's what's fun about it.
11:21I am totally bootlegging in some cheese.
11:23Or maybe I can get one of the camera people to body pack.
11:26So the myth about Montreal is that there's a whole underground city.
11:41And a lot of the tourists that come here think it's something really exciting
11:44and that they're going to go in these tunnels and that it's super sci-fi.
11:48It's literally a collection of cheap clothing stores, drug stores, metro stations.
11:55So you'll never find anybody hanging out in the underground city.
11:59Hey, let's go have a drink.
12:01It's a shopping mall.
12:02The Montreal Metro system is modeled, they say, on the Paris Metro.
12:15And it ain't bad.
12:16It runs about $3 for a trip or $8 for a 24 hour pass.
12:21I'm headed over to Old Montreal.
12:3517th century architecture?
12:36Nice.
12:37Quite pretty, actually.
12:38You get the point.
12:39It's old.
12:40It's pretty.
12:41Stop!
12:42Hey.
12:43They have heads in Montreal, too.
12:45Good to know we don't have the exclusive.
12:47Old Montreal is where it all began.
12:49From the old port of the cobblestone shopping streets.
12:53Nowadays, it's a magnet for tourists and all that comes with that.
12:58Mines?
12:59Human statues?
13:00People dressed up like colonials?
13:02Not so nice.
13:03Oh, no.
13:05Really?
13:08I hate this , actually.
13:10What is it like?
13:11We're going to Colonial Williamsburg here.
13:13What the ?
13:14Ugh.
13:15Jesus , this is like Renaissance Fair.
13:18I'm meeting this guy, Adam Goldner, a respected food writer.
13:22And I'm having serious doubts about his plans.
13:25Purportedly to cover Montreal's culinary history over at Ice Lunch.
13:29Hello.
13:30What is it for?
13:31What production is it?
13:32It's already organized with the restaurant.
13:36I'm going to get shut down by an old second.
13:38Yeah.
13:39You're going to shut down by ye old constable.
13:41I'm going to end up in ye old stocks.
13:44I mean, do they get punished or docked by wages if they break character?
13:47Well, if their white panty hose drips down a little bit, then they might get out.
13:52Right.
13:53Or if they're caught smoking a joint or listening to a big boy that points off?
13:57Yeah, absolutely.
13:58They're only allowed to listen to fiddle music.
14:00Right.
14:01And the lute.
14:02Yeah, lute is very big here.
14:03This restaurant, Club Chasse et Peche, happens to share a terrace with the museum next door,
14:08but is unaffiliated.
14:10The restaurant's name means hunting and fishing club in French.
14:13I hate colonial a lot.
14:14I saw those people in the stockings, and I pretty much wanted a cold cock.
14:18Yeah, but dude, that's not where we're at right now.
14:20You know they got a loom in there right there.
14:21They don't even know we're here.
14:22We're good.
14:23Happily, the wait staff aren't in period garb, and there's not a beaver steak in sight.
14:29Tuna, tartare with the guacamole and taro chips.
14:33Some lobster for Madden Island, you know, the chipotle, mayonnaise, basil, some crisp vegetables.
14:38The scallop ceviche, grapefruit foam with fennel pollen.
14:41Bon appétit, enjoy it.
14:42Merci.
14:43Apparently, the incongruity of grapefruit foam isn't enough to stop Adam from talking about
14:48ye olde good days.
14:50The tradition of this land.
14:51Right.
14:52It started as a place where people came to catch beavers.
14:56As tulips were to Holland, as oil is to Saudi Arabia, the beaver pelt was everything.
15:02Oh my god, yeah.
15:03A little bite of some octopus.
15:06A bit of smoked paprika with a foam of smoked potatoes with a salad, you know, corn, beans,
15:12and cherry tomatoes.
15:13Beautiful.
15:14Bon appétit.
15:15Merci.
15:16Guys that came here from France and lived off the land, they were kind of learning to mix
15:21their, like, French styles with the ingredients from here.
15:24We're not talking trappers here.
15:27No, we're talking the, like, well-fed outdoorsmen.
15:30Oh, that's pretty.
15:31That's the Magret?
15:32Duck Magret on butternut squash, pearls onion, jalapeno, and red pepper.
15:36Oh, that is really beautiful.
15:39Mmm.
15:40I'm happy.
15:41Personally, though my octopus and duck were delicious, this is more my speed.
15:45A nice grilled cheese with meat at Lamporte-Pièce.
15:49This is the grilled cheese Appenzeller.
15:52It's a Swiss cheese, pretty powerful in the mouth with a nipple of beef braised inside.
15:57So, when you eat this, it's like an explosion in your mouth.
16:01Yeah.
16:02Yeah baby.
16:04This is good.
16:05It's good.
16:06Mmm.
16:08Or maybe over to Marvin's for some Old World Greek food in the Park Extension area.
16:13This neighborhood used to be all Greek, but there's still a good portion of Greeks here.
16:17It's the same family that I've had for 37 years growing now.
16:20If I had to order from Marvin Saval as a first-time customer, I would order a calamari to start off,
16:24and then obviously I'll go with a rib steak.
16:27And I won't need to eat for the rest of the day, that's for sure.
16:29At the very least, you'll leave the mimes and period garb of old Montreal behind.
16:35This place was always touristy and that lame kind of people covered in chrome paint standing still.
16:40I hate those people.
16:41Elbow to mime on the way over.
16:42The human statues?
16:43Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:44Definitely.
16:45You know, get a job.
16:46Get a job.
16:47In Montreal, the traffic lights work this way.
17:03Red means stop, yellow means hurry up, and green means speed through like a son of a bitch.
17:09Crossing the street is like, you know, it's almost like a sport.
17:12It's gonna be on ESPN soon.
17:14You run for your life, you get a little shot of adrenaline for five seconds a couple times a day.
17:18Everybody jaywalks here.
17:19Everybody gets away with it.
17:20Oddly enough, if a car has the right of way in Montreal and the pedestrian is jaywalking, the pedestrian gets angry at the car for not having stopped.
17:30Eight and a quarter hours into my thrilling layover in Montreal.
17:35So much fun.
17:36So little time.
17:37Look at that clock ticking.
17:39Lachine Canal, a 14.5 kilometer industrial waterway turned park.
17:45Hey, it's Guy Zimmern.
17:46How are you?
17:47How are you?
17:48Good to see you.
17:49Hi, the man that makes me look small every time.
17:52Time to meet up with my soul brothers from way back.
17:55The truly terrifyingly dangerous Fred Morin and Dave McMillan.
18:00Known and remembered, often with damaged brains, by chefs everywhere.
18:05These guys are legendary for putting the hurt on visiting chefs.
18:10And their restaurant, Joe Beef, is the perfect place to do that.
18:13I mean, you're cultural f***ing icons.
18:15Give him the money.
18:16Yeah.
18:17Strangely, however, the two insist on meeting me down along the canal.
18:20So we going boating?
18:22Boating.
18:23Why?
18:24Fred's childhood friend has this dragon boat and they do the dragon boats to raise money for different charities and this and that.
18:30A lot of this biking and rowing and hiking and jogging.
18:33You have to get it all in the eight weeks where there's no snow.
18:36What?
18:39I did not see this coming.
18:41We just came back from the Canadian Championships, so that was all over Canada.
18:44In about three weeks some of us are going to a world championship.
18:48I hope to hell I don't actually have to work.
18:50I mean, these women are professionals, right?
18:52You've probably seen canoeing, right?
18:54Canoeing is lazy paddle.
18:56We don't do that.
18:58Right.
18:59We do strong, muscular paddles.
19:01Front, to the back, out.
19:03Okay, so chefs, just copy the girl.
19:05Paddle's up.
19:06Take it away.
19:08Take it away.
19:09Take it away.
19:26Oh, I got water in my mouth.
19:28Holy ****, this sucks.
19:31Attention span issues.
19:33My ADD is raging.
19:35You, Fred?
19:40Ugh.
19:41This chick behind me is going to kill me and take my head off at the paddle.
19:44If rowing a boat with muscly women, any of whom could easily snap your neck, does not appeal, then perhaps the highest point in Montreal, Mont Loyal, would be more fun.
19:53It's a park designed by Frederick Olmsted, famous for such other parks as Central Park.
20:06Every Sunday they'll have the tam-tams where everyone gets together and just bangs on some drums.
20:12Artistic, musical, you know, showers and dreadlocks and loose clothing.
20:24Smoke lots of pot.
20:25Of course, Mont Royale is large, enabling a variety of outdoor pursuits I find equally unattractive.
20:32Behind us is actually, uh, the warriors of the mountain come here to actually, uh, fight.
20:42So, what they do is they, they bring their own weapons.
20:44We fight and we have fun.
20:45Oh, these are actually weapons that, uh, we make, we make ourselves and we actually certify before they come in the field.
20:51That if you come to the mountain on a Sunday, it doesn't matter if it's the first time that you're five years old or 55 years old, uh, will accept you in the matter that you can fight to your physical abilities.
21:04Don't want a battle to be lord of the geeks? Perhaps the St. Lawrence River is more your speed.
21:09Just across from old Montreal, there's a permanent wave here caused by swiftly moving water over the river bottom, I'm told.
21:23So, surfs up always.
21:28Thanks, guys.
21:29Thanks a lot.
21:30Thank you so much.
21:32Awesome.
21:33What's at the, uh, end of the rainbow?
21:34Brasserie Le Capri, old working class neighborhood.
21:37This used to be heavy industry, steel, still is working class neighborhood.
21:41Point St. Charles is gentrifying slowly.
21:44The canal has changed a lot.
21:46The old warehouses have turned into condominiums and, but you know what?
21:50It's still a charming part of Montreal, undiscovered.
21:55Brasserie Le Capri in Montreal's Sud West neighborhood.
21:59A pub, a Canadian pub, a Quebecois pub more accurately, and exactly, exactly what I like.
22:07Big hunks of freaking pork knuckle.
22:09Yes.
22:10Now, I am happy.
22:12Get rid of that f***ing clock.
22:14You're ruining my buzz, man.
22:20That's awesome.
22:21The old French guys, bro.
22:22Would have run into less and less of them.
22:23I'm telling you.
22:24These, uh, these authentic pubs are disappearing.
22:26Yeah.
22:27The old culture, you know, this like kind of old sugar shack, drinking large beer, you know,
22:31and eating traditional food in summer.
22:34Yeah, these places get bought up and turned into green apple martini, lychee martini bars.
22:39This you don't see much of elsewhere.
22:41This is a dying art.
22:43Marinated and boiled pork knuckles served with boiled potatoes.
22:47Fred has another local classic, pea soup.
22:49That's what we're called, no?
22:50The pea soups?
22:52Who calls us that?
22:53Ontarians.
22:54Anglophone Ontarians called French Canadians Pea Soups.
22:56The other one calls us the frogs.
22:58F***ing good pigs foot.
22:59No?
23:00Yeah.
23:01What society would not benefit from having one of these spices?
23:03You could also visit such other fine establishments like, say, Dominion Square Tavern or Orange Julep.
23:13Dominion Square is downtown.
23:14The tavern that's been here since 1927, one of the first taverns in Montreal.
23:19Put all the love and a little bit of money in here to bring it back to what we think was a tavern in the 20s in Montreal.
23:26You come and have to work, you can have some moules frites, which are delicious mussels with fries.
23:33And bacon.
23:34And bacon.
23:35Almost every whiskey we can get our hands on here, and that's my drink of choice.
23:39Though their cocktails are some of the best in town.
23:47Greasy hands.
23:48Greasier food.
23:49Delicious.
23:50Join your fellow gearheads over at Orange Julep for a frothy beverage.
23:55The oldest drive-in in Quebec.
23:57It was born in 1932.
23:59There's almost an automotive night happening here every night of the week.
24:03The muscle cars and the hot rods and the classic cars.
24:06I guess more so than the hamburger and the hot dogs and the french fries,
24:09what really brings the draws people to the julep is the orange julep,
24:13which is probably a secret formula handed down through the generations.
24:17And to the best of my knowledge, it's a mixture of milk and orange juice.
24:22But there probably is something else in there because I've tried making an orange julep at home,
24:26and it just hasn't been the same.
24:28But let's not go nuts, we've still got to eat.
24:30Yeah right, we're eating at your place, right?
24:32We've been foraging a lot.
24:34Urban foraging.
24:47If you want to be a local when you're visiting Montreal,
24:49make sure you greet people with two kisses on the cheek.
24:54Like that and it's done. You're good to go after that.
24:56Woman to woman, man to man, man to woman.
24:59It's not a sexual thing.
25:01And I love kissing Americans because they're not ready at all for it, eh?
25:06Hey! And you just go for it.
25:08You take them by the hand and you pull them into your like, to your zone.
25:11Like you can feel them crisping up.
25:13The french way is to go from left to right.
25:15And so sometimes people don't know that.
25:17So we end up going mouth to mouth, which is really awkward.
25:21About 14 hours into my layover in Montreal and it's time to stop around.
25:26Montreal is a chef town.
25:28It's a stay up late and have a good time town.
25:31Food and drink.
25:32That's something they do well.
25:34And often to excess here.
25:36Yet always with panache.
25:41Montreal's little burgundy neighborhood.
25:43Once a divy neglected part of town.
25:45But then came this.
25:47The magnificent Joe Beef.
25:49Flagship restaurant of these two characters, Fred and Dave.
25:53Mention their names to any chef who they have ever hosted.
25:56And there will be an embarrassing anecdote.
25:59Unconsciousness.
26:00Public nudity.
26:01Scandal.
26:02Deliciousness.
26:04Joe Beef, the place's namesake, was a quartermaster for the British during the Crimean War.
26:09His, some say, supernatural ability to scrounge meat for his men, even when the chips were down, made him a legend.
26:16His legendarily bawdy, shall we say, tavern in Montreal made him a larger than life figure in the history of Montreal's drinking class.
26:26It was only right then that these two continued the proud tradition, while boldly forging some of their own.
26:33I saw a tweet one day that says, Fred and Dave are revolutionizing the urban gardening scene.
26:37Right.
26:38But this is .
26:39This is because I like it.
26:41There's no other reason.
26:42You know?
26:43When I was a kid, the only time I skipped school was the garden.
26:45Between feeding some of the world's notable culinarians lethal amounts of alcohol and food and tormenting hipsters, the boys have apparently taken an interest in green stuff.
26:55These are people that don't have a reservation most likely.
26:58Yeah.
26:59And they got stuck with a garden table.
27:01Who knew this is a side of you guys I didn't know.
27:04Yeah, we also do lymph node massage.
27:06Lymph node.
27:07Lymph node.
27:08Lymph node.
27:09And a little aromatherapy later.
27:10Next year we're ripping everything out and building condos.
27:12A tasting of lymph node.
27:13When we make potage par mentier and I tell the first step of the recipe, first you take a leak.
27:19You're going to hell for that.
27:21The menu up there in chalk is wonderful and unapologetically over the top at times.
27:26And it changes daily.
27:28There's clams on a radio.
27:30Why?
27:31Yeah.
27:32Why not?
27:33You remember maybe like four or five years ago in Montreal it was all like, I'm going to feed you the inside of the rectum filled with like what I think is like but made out of blood.
27:43You know?
27:44Right.
27:45I think a little overexuberant.
27:46Everybody was trying to outdo each other awful wise.
27:48Right.
27:49Double stuffed cheeks and boyo with andouillettes made out of crab guts.
27:54And then we brought in ingredients that were not food related.
27:58I was a fan of horse goat as a child and everything and I collect old radio and I brought old radios and we served clams on a radio, oysters on a radio and everything.
28:05You know what?
28:06We also did oysters on the ketchup can.
28:07I can do.
28:08I can do.
28:09Oysters on the tomato can.
28:10Yeah we do.
28:11Razor clams on erotic novels.
28:16At this point, is it food or is it art?
28:20I wonder.
28:21Chefs will start mentioning, my inspiration for the food is Kandinsky or Cy Twombly or blah, blah, blah.
28:29I think really?
28:30Are you joking?
28:31Art goes in your eye.
28:32Food goes in your mouth.
28:34You know?
28:35It's good though but Tony, how good is this clam stuff?
28:38Damn good.
28:39The mythological double down.
28:41It's like the Kentucky Fried Chicken double down.
28:43It's like two pieces of foie gras.
28:45Foie?
28:46Fictitious KFC batter.
28:49The bacon we make here, the smoked cheddar we make here and the mayonnaise we make but instead of using egg yolk we use reduced chicken stock.
28:56It's like gravy mayonnaise.
28:58What's not to like?
29:00It's an obscenity and a crime against God and all that's decent but it's delicious.
29:05I'm already on Lipitor, you know.
29:07People have written about this tiny restaurant all over North America based on a fancy worm that we put on a clever hook.
29:15Sad a bit, you know?
29:18But lots of press has come of the clever worm.
29:21Well there's a style now also.
29:23You guys are becoming known for as much an attitude as dishes.
29:27The only problem you might have here is being unable to get a reservation.
29:32In which case you could, I suppose, with tail between your legs, slink off to either L'Express or Le Rotisserie Romadeau.
29:40Both perfectly excellent bistro, brasserie type joints with francophilic bents and really both quite good.
29:48Hey look, it's Adam again at L'Express.
29:51Tough titty for you big boy.
29:53I'm at Joe Beef.
29:55It's simple, it's humble, it's classic bistro fare.
29:58Steak and frites, bone marrow, trout salad.
30:01It's not too expensive so it's got a pretty democratic appeal.
30:05Like it's really fun to eat at the bar here.
30:08You feel like you're in the center of it all.
30:11Also in the Plateau neighborhood, this popular place, Le Rotisserie, that means they roast stuff, Romadeau.
30:18It's Portuguese chicken, it's cheap.
30:21This is an average plate for like eight bucks.
30:24Spices, oh my god, I love them.
30:26You have the choice between a regular sauce or a spicy sauce.
30:30In my neighborhood we got other chicken too, but we roll from far away just to get Romadeau's chicken.
30:37But this place is where you want to be.
30:39Sucking down oysters and good wine at Joe Beef.
30:43Beef and chicken and everything.
30:45Duck, lamb, it's a duck chop, you know, from the whole back of the duck.
30:50Protein makes you big and strong, eat a lot of protein.
30:53Speeds up your metabolism, makes you lose weight the more protein you eat.
30:57It makes you smarter, more aggressive.
31:01Duck.
31:02Nobody's victim, nobody's doormat when you're eating plenty of red meat.
31:06While it's difficult to leave this Everest of meat, I scurry off.
31:10As I promised late night drinks with a few more friends.
31:13You can always pick out a tourist, I guess, an American or English tourist by the way they say,
31:31Merci, Merci, Merci to like everything, even when they don't need to, which is cool.
31:37Hey, you never can get enough thank yous.
31:39And you can really pick out the French tourists by how they look at you.
31:43And strangely, they speak the same language as you.
31:46But they'll still put on a little snobby air and be like,
31:49Pardon? Pardon? C'est par où le Cirque du Soleil?
31:52And they'll pretend not to understand.
31:54So, there's always language issues in Montreal, but we love.
32:01Layover. Right?
32:02So, gotta refer to that clock graphic. Tick it away.
32:06Like I'm actually doing something important.
32:08Like only 24 hours to find the nerve gas.
32:11Anywho, if you were to ask visiting chefs and dignitaries from the world of gastronomy,
32:17who in Montreal is more terrifying?
32:20The Joe Beef Dudes?
32:21Or this man, au pied cochon's Martin Picard?
32:25You'd get a pretty spirited, not to say entertaining, argument.
32:29But if you were to announce that you'd be hanging out with all of them, all in one evening,
32:34no one would believe you.
32:36That, by common consensus, would be suicide.
32:41Brasserie Tea is in the Cartier de Spictac, an area surrounded by performance halls, theaters,
32:46and a festival plaza, right in downtown Montreal.
32:49Normally, I wouldn't even think about coming here just for drinks.
32:52This is, after all, the newest place from Chef Normand Laprise,
32:57the godfather of Montreal fine dining and mentor to just about every great chef in town.
33:03Chef, how does it that?
33:05This is my, my, my spiritual.
33:07Your mentor, of course. Everybody's daddy.
33:10If Normand Laprise is the godfather, one might continue to torture the metaphor
33:15by referring to Martin as the Michael Corleone of Montreal's food scene.
33:20Those are my friends.
33:21You know, NFL, we do have the same thing.
33:24It's CFL, and those guys are often coming to our restaurant.
33:29These guys, by the way, are the team of the Grey Cup winning Montreal Alouettes, which makes perfect sense.
33:35The only way in my life that I found, you know, to look small.
33:39Hang out with bigger guys.
33:42No way I'm getting out of this alive.
33:46Can I make you a little taste about something?
33:49Beautiful.
33:50Very small.
33:51Okay, I'm dead.
33:52Oh, what is this?
33:53So this one is the cheese head.
33:55Yeah.
33:56With classic vinaigrette with the mustard and the smoked saucisson with a puree of apple and honey on the brioche.
34:02Beautiful. Thank you.
34:04And everything is all made, huh?
34:05Everything is all made.
34:06Yeah, everything is all made.
34:07A couple of brilliant preparations using local mushrooms like this one with giron.
34:11The green peas, fresh green peas, and the giron.
34:13The sweet beans.
34:14Yeah.
34:15Yeah, sweet beans.
34:16Yeah, sweet beans.
34:17And this.
34:18The mushrooms and eggs.
34:19Awesome.
34:20This is on the regular menu?
34:21Yeah.
34:22It's extraordinary.
34:23Pork salad?
34:24Of course.
34:25Why not?
34:26Escargot made with sea snails and this lobster with herb chanterelle salad.
34:30I'm guessing this is from near here?
34:32That's a baby lobster.
34:33It's a baby.
34:35Holy crap.
34:36It's disgusting.
34:37It's a monster.
34:39If I were a reasonable man, a smart man, I would have retreated to my hotel long ago.
34:46But I am a flawed vessel.
34:48I'm drunk.
34:49I'm drunk.
34:50I'm drunk.
34:51I'm drunk.
34:52I carry within me, as so many do, the seeds of my own destruction.
34:56A rumsfeldi and delusional belief in my own infallibility.
35:00I think it's a win-win situation, actually.
35:02If we get arrested, it's good.
35:04Come on.
35:05That's good.
35:06This kind of thing leads, inevitably, to tragedy.
35:09And daytime talk shows on ABC.
35:11Is it due to Hells Angels control all of organized crime in Canada?
35:15Big in Japan.
35:16I've never been here before.
35:18But I know what happens here.
35:20It's like going in the doctor's office, and he's got stirrups, and he's putting on the glove, and some kind of machine starts whirring.
35:26You have a pretty good idea what comes next.
35:29When we first opened, regular opening hours were 11 in the morning until midnight, and then one night at midnight, in walks Chef Norman Lapris.
35:39I'm doing the cash, the music's off, and they look at me like, oh, we're so sorry, are you closed?
35:45And I said, no chance in hell are we closed.
35:49I make a little wink at Chef in the kitchen, and I'm like, you better start sending food out now.
35:53And I go grab the bottle of whiskey, and the rest is history.
35:56Open seven days a week until 3 a.m., Big in Japan has quickly ascended to Montreal's premier service provider for drunk-ass chefs after work.
36:06Sake?
36:07Of course.
36:08Chinese whiskey?
36:09Oh, God, no!
36:10That is a moment of truth kind of a decision.
36:13So you're saying, Celine Dion is a revered national hero, an expression of Quebec aspirations and pride.
36:20She's the greatest all over the world.
36:23In maybe some alternate Canadian universe.
36:26Would you f**k her?
36:27Uh-huh.
36:28Would you f**k her?
36:29You don't have to f**k her!
36:31What do you want to f**k her?
36:33That, that, that, that doesn't make f**king sense!
36:36Ah!
36:37It's the key!
36:39And I believe that this was the exact moment in the evening you can isolate like that split second in the Zapruder film, where we started to lose Martech.
36:48That doesn't work!
36:49That's kind of an obsession!
36:51He went out, you should know, like a hero, and defending Celine Dion to the last.
36:57As all great heroes throughout history eventually meet their Troy, we all of us have our Waterloo.
37:04And mine will be in about 15 f**king minutes.
37:08Vickermap needed.
37:10Stat.
37:11Must.
37:12Have.
37:13Taco.
37:14We took some casualties.
37:15A couple of men down, but we're here.
37:17Montreal's Grumman 78 Taco is like a magnet for the alcoholically impaired.
37:22Hey!
37:23There's nobody here, mother f**k!
37:25Gail Cerf, who I know, God help me, from such places as Aux-Pied-Cochon.
37:35We're not allowed to sell on the street, so...
37:37Really?
37:38This is monstrous.
37:39They won't let you sell food out of the truck.
37:41No, not in Montreal.
37:42Why?
37:43Not in Montreal.
37:44Montreal has been like that for over 40 years now.
37:47Food trucks in Montreal were banned many decades ago for hygiene reasons.
37:52And supposedly, former Mayor Drapeau found them ugly, too.
37:57Today, it is a sad law, stuck in antiquity.
38:01I can get a taco in there.
38:02Oh, for sure.
38:03Done.
38:04For now, one can get these fine tacos at, on weekends anyway, at Nouveau Palais in Mile End.
38:12Oh, man, that's good.
38:14Really good.
38:15Vegetarian tacos.
38:16No way.
38:17Man, that was good.
38:18It was vegetarian, really?
38:19Yes, man.
38:20No meat.
38:21I'm so ashamed.
38:22It feels so dirty.
38:23Where's the meat one?
38:24You're eating a Sichuan pork scallopini with salt and pepper fried with a mixer.
38:30The taco is the perfect delivery system for something savory, hot, spicy, salty.
38:38But, I mean, if you can't serve it out of a truck.
38:40Dear government of Montreal, it's this great, great city with a great food culture.
38:46The average New Yorker, why do they come to Montreal?
38:49Because they want to get drunk and they want to eat good food like this out of a truck.
38:55One of the things I recommend for visitors is patience, only because some way, somehow, we're always constructing.
39:11There's always a road being built or demolished, so you have to be patient for that.
39:16You have to watch out for the concierges at the hotels.
39:18They could be sometimes very well greased by some more devious Montreal restaurateurs.
39:24If you need one sentence in Montreal in French, you can say,
39:28voulez-vous faire l'amour avec moi?
39:35In the final hours of the night, I vaguely remember the Montreal Chefs Brigade taking me in for an hour or two of sleep and a shower.
39:43I do not recall hurting anyone.
39:45There was, to the best of my recollection, no karaoke, no lap dances, no drunk dialing of my fourth grade social studies teacher.
39:52Me too died.
39:54Next day, the morning after, so to speak, I am grateful to be alive and living in hope.
40:04Headache?
40:05Yes.
40:06Still, I rise, I pack, I cough yellow bile into the bidet, and I head for the airport.
40:12But I give myself just enough time for something I just have to do.
40:16And you know, you should too.
40:18Smoke me.
40:19You can't not do this when you come to Montreal.
40:23There's no way out.
40:24Gotta do it.
40:25And Schwartz's here, opened in like 1928, is not just Canada's oldest, but arguably the best at this pastrami-like magical substance.
40:35Marinated, they say, for 10 days in the inevitable blend of secret herbs and spices.
40:40Oh, who cares how they make it?
40:42With Carnegie Deli is to New York, Schwartz's is to Montreal, but even more so because it's such a tradition.
40:47And you'll probably have to sit at the table with people you don't know and be abused by the staff.
40:52All you need to know is, it's really good.
40:55So good that it's well worth pushing yourself through the crowd, sitting down cheek by jowl with strangers, and eating one of these gloriously messy mountains of meat.
41:05A smoked meat sandwich, cherry soda, and a pickle, for sure.
41:09And I can choose to be lean, medium.
41:12Medium.
41:13Yeah.
41:14Perfect.
41:16Oh, thank you, sir.
41:19Always do.
41:20Pretty, right?
41:22Still steaming.
41:23How do you hold these things together?
41:25It's a challenge.
41:26Mmm.
41:27That is good.
41:29I'm ripping right through this.
41:31And I will be needing my in-flight meal.
41:33Traveler's tip.
41:34About to get on a plane, eat something good before you go to the airport.
41:38Something big and good that'll, like, knock you on your ass, then you're out on the plane.
41:43I'll be unconscious if I take off.
41:46Wow.
41:47Like the great bagel debate, is it pastrami or something else?
41:52New York pastrami, Montreal smoked meat.
41:55Tough call.
41:56This stuff is good.
41:57In the end, who really cares?
41:59It's freaking good.
42:01And that, my friends, is all you need to know.
42:04I can leave Montreal with a clean conscience now.
42:07Off to the airport.
42:10Maybe stopping off to get some over-the-counter codeines.
42:13They're illegal here.
42:14And some other low-cost pharmaceuticals.
42:16They should really give us their drugs.
42:18And their chefs.
42:19And Neil Young.
42:21And we can give them back Celine Dion.
42:23That would be good.
42:24That would be good.
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