- 2 days ago
Bourdain takes on Chicago, the city he deems to be "the only other true American Metropolis." This layover is all about cruising around the diverse neighborhoods that make up this great city in a rented old-school Cadillac. For a bit of off-beat culture, Tony checks out the International Museum of Surgical Science. He drinks in dive bars galore, samples hot dogs, Polish sausages and Italian beef sandwiches (he prefers them hot, sweet and wet), and conducts an informal poll on whether native Chicagoans really eat deep-dish pizza.
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TravelTranscript
00:00What we do is we create something out of nothing, and that's what makes Chicago.
00:13This is a city. I can't say enough nice things about it.
00:16So because it was flat, we built the tallest buildings in the world.
00:20It's also a city with its own distinct accent and sense of humor.
00:23Because we were in the middle of nowhere, we built the busiest airport on earth.
00:27They don't put up a lot of bull .
00:29It's like it's your city, literally. Right?
00:33Totally. It's your city.
00:34Exactly. It's your city, too.
00:35And I love Chicago.
00:36It's her city, it's my city, it's our city.
00:39It could be your city, too.
00:40The first thing is, unfortunately, most layovers in the great city of Chicago are involuntary.
00:58Because there are few airports you want to be in less.
01:03The O'Hare experience usually kind of sucks.
01:09O'Hare International Airport.
01:13Due to its size, its importance as a hub, and unpredictable Midwestern weather,
01:19it's among the most likely to be laid-over airports in the world.
01:23It blows. No other way to put it.
01:27In its favor, you could do a hell of a lot worse than find yourself stuck in Chicago.
01:31No matter how great you think your city is, Chicago is one impressive city.
01:38It should be noted that Chicago's Midway Airport is a smaller, more reasonable option.
01:43O'Hare and Midway both have their pros and their cons, but driving from O'Hare to the city sucks.
01:50A 45-minute cab ride is about $40 to $50.
01:53Not cheap, but Travel Channel is paying my freight, so I'm not doing the mass transit route.
01:58So on the northwest side is O'Hare.
02:00Take the blue line straight to downtown.
02:02If you fly into Midway, you take the orange line straight into downtown.
02:06It costs $2.25. It's super easy.
02:09I have 43 hours in Chicago this time around.
02:12I plan to spend none of them at O'Hare.
02:16If you've eaten in the airport, bring an extra pair of underwear, I guess,
02:20in case you brown out your shorts for some reason.
02:23You don't want to be stuck at an airplane with a pant load of crap, that's for sure.
02:27I mean, not that that comes up.
02:28Certainly not with me, but...
02:32Chicago is a city of neighborhoods.
02:34Distinct neighborhoods, each different from the next.
02:37Broken up into a grid, once delineated by ethnic groups who came here at various times in history to work.
02:44They initially started based on nationality.
02:47The Italians all stuck together.
02:49The Polish all stuck together.
02:50The Greeks all stuck together.
02:51The Jews all stuck together.
02:52Chicago is a neighborhood city.
02:54If you live in this city and you don't experience the eclectic culture here, there's something wrong with you, man.
03:00To me, Chicago is the best city because it is so much about all of these little communities.
03:07The two of our neighborhoods got voted as the most demographically mixed and integrated neighborhoods in the entire U.S.
03:16It's built up of little pockets everywhere, neighborhoods all over the place.
03:20And they've all got kind of their own little character.
03:23Swank is all get out.
03:24The industry gold standard in big-ass, comfortable beds.
03:27I'm staying at the Four Seasons.
03:29You might try Long Man and the Eagle in Logan Square.
03:36It's too young and too hip for me, but it's got affordable rooms and the added bonus of 38 different whiskeys at the bar.
03:45Hey, buddy, make room for an American car.
03:48Yeah, that's right.
03:49That's right.
03:50Move over.
03:51Move the over.
03:53Need a big car for a big town.
03:55Whenever I'm in Chicago, city of big shoulders, as they call it, I need a big-ass, gas-guzzling, made-in-America vehicle to drive in.
04:05Maybe that's just me.
04:06In fact, good luck doing this yourself.
04:08This is one of the truly most awesome cities in the world.
04:12They do not f*** around in Chicago.
04:15I don't know whether it's physically the biggest or most populated, but really, I don't care what the numbers are.
04:21It's the second greatest city in America.
04:23It's a true metropolis.
04:25I may love San Francisco and New Orleans and Austin and a few other cities ferociously, but they aren't megalopolises like this.
04:33They do things big.
04:35Big, I tells ya.
04:36Mike Ditka big.
04:37Michael Jordan big.
04:38Bill Murray big.
04:40Oprah.
04:40It's one cultural Mount Everest after another.
04:44And yet, inexplicably, in spite of their general excellence of food, drink, music, everything really,
04:50their most famous cultural export is the appalling deep-dish pizza.
04:55Irony being, in a town where everything is great, they're most famous for something that sucks.
05:00In Chicago, when it comes to food, we like deep-dish pizza.
05:05That's what we invented.
05:06We like Italian beef, dipped with everything.
05:09We like a hot dog with everything.
05:11The food in Chicago is pretty intense.
05:14Chicago staples, you got the deep-dish pizza, hot dogs, Chicago style, you know, no ketchup.
05:19They have the finest f***ing hot dog in America here.
05:22Italian beef.
05:24Also an object of complete and total awesomeness.
05:28They have great chefs, great restaurant scene, great music scene.
05:33It's a great drinking town.
05:35They have great grandios architecture.
05:38Fantastic history of crime and corruption.
05:41This is a city without an inferiority complex.
05:44This is not a town for f***ing.
05:47Not that there's anything wrong with being a f***ing.
05:49Just don't do it in Chicago.
05:50On a quiet corner in the Old Town neighborhood sits one of the most storied, legendary drinking establishments in the nation.
06:08A touchstone of our country's cultural history.
06:11A Roman Senate of enlightened discourse.
06:14Many iconic figures of literature, comedy, the stage and screen, along with philosopher-poets for whom recognition never came.
06:22All have, at one time or another, rested, however briefly, their noble brows upon its bathroom walls.
06:30Hey, faggy bands, come here.
06:31Let's sing.
06:32Come on.
06:32Let's sing for Jimmy.
06:33Get him up.
06:34They all ran after the farmer's wife.
06:36She cut off their tail with a carving knife.
06:38Did you ever see such a sight in your life as three blind mice?
06:42There we go.
06:44Now you're coming alive.
06:45This is where a gentleman of the world might find a properly poured beverage, accompanied by spirited argument over important matters of the day.
06:54What is your official position in this institution?
06:56My official position is that my ex-wife owns this bar and I have sex privileges with the owner.
07:03That's my status.
07:06Presiding over all this, this kingdom of great minds and dick jokes, his author, world-famous painter, golf hustler, raconteur, enabler, and blogger, Bruce Cameron Elliott.
07:19Steered to his good works by Roger Ebert, I found myself hopelessly caught up in the lives of the alehouse customers like Ruben Nine Toes, Clown, Mrs. Clown, Hawkeye, and others.
07:30It's early, so the regulars have yet to arrive, but Bruce's closest protégés, known to thousands as Faggy Pants and Street Jimmy, are going about their daily chores.
07:42Those were not their given names at birth, but that's how they're known, in this town anyway, by just about everybody.
07:49Your personal prejudices and likes and dislikes feature heavily in the policies of the saloon.
07:56Would that be fair to say?
07:57One thing I said, Frank Sinatra will never be allowed on this jukebox as long as I'm alive.
08:02But I mean, dude, it's, I mean, it ain't that person.
08:05I mean, you know, you can't even listen to his music because he was, he was an a**hole.
08:08Well, it's not the, I don't like his music either.
08:11I mean, that helps.
08:12Other than great company, what makes a great bar?
08:15A good jukebox, for one.
08:17And you'd be amazed when you get a group of people that you don't want, like some bikers will come in and start really getting rough and starting to cause problems.
08:25He'd just walk over and put on an opera.
08:28It's funny because they just start fidgeting.
08:31Right.
08:32And then pretty soon, all of a sudden, they just say, hey, dude, a*****g hard enough that, you know, out they go.
08:37So we always keep an opera on the jukebox.
08:40You could, if immune to works of internationally renowned magnificence, belly up at Happy Village, in the eastern part of the Ukrainian village.
08:56Ping pong?
08:58Eh, not me.
08:59At the Ale House, floor to ceiling, Bruce's world-renowned paintings, character studies, and homages, memorializing regulars past and present, living and dead.
09:15Also political figures, some quite familiar.
09:19This one brought Bruce international fame and death threats.
09:23My one critique of the Palin picture is I'm going to say with a reasonable degree of certainty that she waxes.
09:30Well, I can say with even more certainty, no.
09:35No, really?
09:36Old school, 70s Bush.
09:38But I'm from the 50s and I prefer pubic hair anyway.
09:41Really?
09:41I haven't seen any since like 19...
09:43No, you don't see it anymore.
09:44You really got to travel far and wide, so to speak.
09:47Humorless radio hosts be advised, of all political stripes are fairly represented.
09:55Democrat or Republican, you can easily find yourself depicted in less than flattering light.
10:00Here, Rod Blagojevich submits to a cavity search prior to his imprisonment.
10:04And this classic pastoral work titled Newt's Three Wives.
10:09Being responsible citizens, Bruce and I have hired a designated driver to take us to our next destination.
10:19How do you do, sir?
10:21Hi, you are our designated driver?
10:23Yes, indeed.
10:24I do not envy your work.
10:26How many drunk-ass people do you have to drive?
10:29Oh, my God.
10:34So, you know, one of the things that's interesting about Chicago, I noticed on the way from the airport,
10:37I'm in a taxi, and they have the little thing there giving you the price,
10:41$50 cleaning fee for vomiting in the taxi.
10:44So, I always wondered, it's like, I could afford that, you know?
10:48And I was like...
10:49Well, I mean, that's one of our problems in the bar,
10:51are the people that, I mean, that throw up in the urinal,
10:54which you almost have to stick your hand in there.
10:56Not to say...
10:57Sometimes you don't have those options, though.
10:59I mean, I can tell you from personal experience.
11:00At least a lot of times you don't think it through.
11:02But whose bathroom is more up, men's or women's?
11:04You know, women don't try to pull the sink off.
11:08Right.
11:09That's probably the only real difference.
11:12Some people, not me, but some people,
11:15might, instead of spending their afternoons in dark, beer-smelling saloons,
11:19want to take a boat ride.
11:21An architectural boat tour in Chicago, anyway,
11:23may actually provide you with some impressive stuff to look at.
11:27They've always done buildings in a big way here.
11:29Architecture, important, particularly to Chicago.
11:32Just have a drink first, and maybe a cheeseburger.
11:39Oh, oh, there it is, the Billy Goat.
11:42Thank you, sir.
11:44The Billy Goat is located underground
11:46and directly underneath the Chicago Tribune building,
11:49which is gorgeous, by the way.
11:51So even though we arrive at noon,
11:53it already feels like it's nighttime here.
11:55No windows, neon lights, obvious regulars
11:59already settled in at the bar.
12:02Given its close proximity to the Chicago Tribune
12:05and the Sun-Times building,
12:07it also means it's been ground zero
12:09for drunk-ass journalists since the beginning of time.
12:12Jeff McGill has been professionally enabling them
12:15for 31 years at this very bar.
12:18Mike Royko, Nelson Algren, Studs Terkel, Roger Ebert,
12:23he remembers them all.
12:25It is a good and wonderful thing
12:27to be poured a drink by a true professional.
12:32What are we going to be eating today?
12:33Double cheese, the best.
12:35There we go.
12:35Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger.
12:37I will have that.
12:39No fries, chips, no Pepsi Coke.
12:42Double cheese, the best.
12:44Double cheese, the best.
12:45We'll have a double cheese.
12:46Double cheese.
12:47I'm drinking a beer already.
12:48Fries, good.
12:49One more double cheese.
12:50Another double cheese.
12:52Another double cheese.
12:54Double cheese.
12:56Double cheese.
12:57Hence the legend.
12:59Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger.
13:01No fries, chips, no Pepsi Coke.
13:06Double cheese, the best.
13:07If it's not burger day for you, you could go to uptown's Argyle Street, to Chicago's
13:25own tiny version of Saigon, where tank noodle awaits.
13:29Piping hot bowls of delicious pho greet a steady stream of regulars.
13:36Or there's the legendary Kuma's in Avondale, where the lines may be long, but heavy metal
13:41aficionados could find the burger of their dreams.
13:45Death metal and ground beef, tattoos, more fine works of art.
13:50Fried egg on your burger, yes, prosciutto, can do.
13:55And whiskey on tap.
13:58Okay, so who are, if you look at a Chicago, all-time Chicago heroes, who's the president
14:09of Chicago?
14:10I'll tell you one thing, up until his illness, I mean, Ebert would draw as much attention.
14:14Ebert.
14:15Roger Ebert.
14:16I would say so.
14:17He's going to walk down the street and everybody's going to say, you're our guy.
14:20You are our guy.
14:21Yeah.
14:22I would say so.
14:25The burger was quite decent.
14:28I thought you could get a kick out of this.
14:31I'm happy.
14:32If I was picking a place to die, it would be pretty much, it would look like this.
14:36I've got, what, 39 hours left.
14:39At least if you're dumb enough to believe that stupid ticking clock down there.
14:43That should, however, be enough time to do what I came to do.
14:50From my experience, a lot of Chicago people are the give it to me straight people.
14:56They don't like a lot of fluff, no pretension, just true Midwesterners.
15:01Chicago's got, like, this camaraderie going on.
15:04Everybody is really nice.
15:05Yeah.
15:06Until you piss them off.
15:09It's not no in a harsh way, but for the most part, there's definitely a level of honesty
15:14that sometimes you get smacked with.
15:16Oh, yeah.
15:17Handles like a sports car.
15:19Late afternoon, day one.
15:21After a nice nap, I feel sufficiently sobered up to lose that designated driver.
15:25For a great city, Chicago is actually underrated.
15:29Particularly, like, as far as, like, you know, hipster buzz.
15:32I think they eat their hipsters here.
15:34You know, it's a tough town.
15:36There's an implied greatness to Chicago.
15:38The toughness.
15:39I'm bringing my Portland crew, yo, and we're really gonna Chicago guys up.
15:44Nah, probably not.
15:47It has been overstated, but it's still true that in Chicago, a working class ethic prevails.
15:53You gotta do something here.
15:55Paul Kahn is a hard working guy.
15:58Along with partner Donny Medea, who you'll meet later, he's opened a half a dozen important
16:03and amazing establishments over the years, changing the whole landscape of dining in Chicago in important ways.
16:10His most recent is Publican Quality Meats in the West Loop.
16:14Butcher shop, charcuterie, center of bread making, they sell retail cuts of meat, as well as supplying his growing empire.
16:22Wait a minute. And you serve liquor here?
16:24We do.
16:25I can come in here and have like an artisanal hunk of bread.
16:28I can have a piece of good cheese.
16:30Yeah.
16:31And eat something from your charcuterie program.
16:34Wait a minute.
16:35Are there hipsters here?
16:36Is this a hipster establishment?
16:37It's not.
16:38Is that what's going on here?
16:39It's not.
16:40We have a few employees with tattoos.
16:42Culatello, chicken liver pate, spicy copa, head cheese, soppressata, blood sausage, pork and foie gras pate, testa, pickled tongue.
16:55Blood mortadella is pretty interesting.
16:56I'm excited by the blood mortadella.
16:58Calabrian thing.
16:59Mmm.
17:01Just a snack before dinner, right?
17:03Cheers.
17:04Nice to see you again.
17:06It's been a while.
17:08Across the street from Paul Kahn's butcher shop is Publica.
17:12Why, hello.
17:13How are you?
17:14Very well, thank you.
17:15It's a big, loud, beer hall-type place.
17:17Lots of communal tables, family-style plates, and a tendency towards pork.
17:23Whoa, look at this place.
17:25Hey.
17:26Hey, how are you today?
17:27Good seeing you.
17:28Good seeing you.
17:29Chicago is, or was, a great newspaper town.
17:33Mark Caro has been writing for the Great Chicago Tribune for over 20 years.
17:37Is he making money here, or what?
17:39He's doing well.
17:40How is it possible?
17:42To be, like, a really nice guy, serve great food, and make money?
17:47It's a good combination.
17:49Yeah, but a rare one.
17:50Usually one of those is missing.
17:54A plate of beautiful lake perch, arugula, red onion, parmigiano.
18:00Ah, very nice.
18:02Boudin noir with summer squash and roasted peppers.
18:06Oh, now that's a beautiful thing.
18:09Fritz with egg, because, well, because you care.
18:13This is not a go to the doctor and get your cholesterol tested in the morning dish.
18:17I took my Lipitor today.
18:19Chicago's not a town that does anything in a small way.
18:22No.
18:23Political corruption here tends to be done in a big way.
18:27Impressive, colorful, creative.
18:29I mean, the stuff that Blago was doing, like, it was, like, entertaining, you know?
18:33It's like, you're reading about it, and you're just like, oh, my God, he shook down a children's hospital.
18:37Lurin might be the word.
18:38I mean, it really...
18:39Yeah, yeah.
18:40I mean, embarrassing.
18:41Another smart choice would be to go and try this place.
18:44Chef Bill Kim is a South Korean native, and his wife, Yvonne Cadiz Kim, a Puerto Rican,
18:50who decided to combine their cultures to open Urban Belly, a dumpling house.
18:55Their signature dish?
18:57Fat rice, served with beef short ribs and pork belly.
19:01And there's big steaming bowls of delicious ramen with more pork belly.
19:07I'm at Publicano, eating cantaloupe salad with chicory prosciutto and champagne vinaigrette.
19:12Speck, burrata, tomato, and pears.
19:16Octopus with barley and watermelon.
19:19I like this.
19:20Good.
19:21That'll work.
19:22Enjoy.
19:23The sense of humor is a prize characteristic here.
19:27Yes.
19:28Do you have to be funny here?
19:30To be a Cubs fan, you absolutely have to have a sense of humor.
19:33So that's like, you know, the whole north side of the city, right?
19:36You have to have gallows humor about the weather.
19:38You have to have gallows humor about these people you elect to office.
19:41Those are three pretty big parts of your life.
19:44I mean, the people you elect and, you know, all the teams you root for are kind of a joke.
19:49The name, the Windy City, doesn't just come from the totally bone-chilling wind that we have all the time.
19:54It also is because of our political corruption.
20:00It's another great thing about the city.
20:01It's a big drinking city.
20:02There's a bar in every corner.
20:04I love drinking.
20:05Are you kidding?
20:06I'm in Chicago.
20:07In Chicago, the idea is that a bar in and of itself, a tavern in and of itself, where people
20:14can just hang out and have a beer, that's considered a good thing.
20:18Don't most revolutions start in bars.
20:21It's where communities of people get together and share ideas.
20:24Chicago does bars right.
20:27Some of the finest bars and taverns anywhere.
20:31Oh, wonderful.
20:33Hello.
20:34Hi.
20:35How are you doing?
20:36Good.
20:37Thanks.
20:38Great.
20:39It's a great place.
20:40It's where in 1934 as a factory bar, looking after the alcohol needs of local steel and cabinet-making
20:45industries in the area.
20:46Now due to its nice out-of-the-way location, and enlightened hospitality policies, it's an
20:51eclectic refuge for a cross-section of local Chicagoans, blissfully free of ironic goatees
20:57goatees, or haberdashery.
20:59Now, you know, you don't talk about drinking, you do it.
21:02For God's sake.
21:05The mutiny in Bucktown has been open 23 years.
21:08A deep, dark cavern of a place where musicians go to relax,
21:12try out new songs and ideas.
21:1532-ounce beers for around three bucks, punk bands,
21:19and the mysterious Chicago Malort.
21:22A must try.
21:24Spirits have continuously been served in this building
21:27for 90 years, officially since Prohibition.
21:30Owners Tim and Kate, two magnificent examples
21:33of civic-minded Americans, have been running the place for 16.
21:37As a Chicago, you tend to identify yourself
21:39with the working-class tradition.
21:41Oh, absolutely.
21:42Right.
21:43You're used to making things here.
21:45That's right.
21:46And so the thing is this, Chicago is not the city
21:48where we talk about interesting projects, all right?
21:52We get to work.
21:53It's like form of band and let's do it.
21:55So hanging around mom and dad supporting you
21:57while you figure out what you're going to do with your life,
21:59that would not be a viable, uh...
22:01No.
22:02Day one, finally over.
22:0432 hours left.
22:12This is one of the best cities in the world.
22:14It's 100% world class.
22:16You get a big city filling with beautiful trees, beautiful parks,
22:20a beautiful lakefront.
22:22If you're an outdoorsy kind of person, our beachfront offers kayaking.
22:27Recently, I just saw surfers out there.
22:29It was really great to see that here in Chicago.
22:32Even though we're stuck in the middle of the Midwest,
22:34there's something about the lake that feels like we almost have the ocean anyway.
22:38Everybody's waiting for summer.
22:40And once summer hits, you go driving on Lakeshore Drive
22:42and you look at those beaches, every beach jammed.
22:44Beautiful people.
22:45Everybody's having a good time.
22:47Oh, North Beach Volleyball.
22:50Guys, find an excuse to get away from your girlfriend
22:53if you're going to North Beach Volleyball.
22:55And rent a bike right along the lakefront.
22:57You're going to love it.
23:04Late morning, day two.
23:06A little over 22 hours to go.
23:10Generally speaking, I don't give a about donuts.
23:13I like coffee fine, but not in like a cast of Friends way
23:17where it's an afternoon's entertainment.
23:20But a coffee and a donut together is not a bad thing.
23:23And the donut vault makes, I have to say, excellent donuts.
23:26Maple buttermilk, okay, good.
23:29And coffee, ready to face the day.
23:33My personal theory, donuts were invented by Stalin
23:38to weaken our country from within,
23:41erode our state of military readiness,
23:44destroy the flower of our youth.
23:50By the way, do not put a burger between donuts.
23:53Jesus definitely doesn't want you to do that.
23:59If you need something more substantial,
24:01there's the more full-service Sweet Maple Cafe
24:03on the west side of University Village.
24:06They do brunch every day.
24:09You can get homemade cornmeal
24:10or sweet milk biscuits and eggs.
24:12Home fries, grits, corned beef hash,
24:15even fried catfish nuggets.
24:17A little bit of the south.
24:18And holy , that's a lot of pancakes.
24:25One of the greatest things in my mind
24:27that I get a kick out of every day when I'm in this city,
24:29paying the 225 to get on the L,
24:31you get a great tour of the city
24:33by not even having to do anything
24:35or know where you're going.
24:36Take the train around the loop, downtown.
24:40Pretty neat.
24:41Rattly as hell.
24:42It's a hundred and some years old.
24:44It's all the same crappy old track
24:45and ancient trestles and stuff.
24:46So it's kind of like,
24:47like riding an old wooden roller coaster.
24:50Transfer to red line trains and stay in lane.
24:53I ain't transferring .
24:55I'm staying right here
24:56until it gets cooler outside.
24:58Oh, yeah.
25:01Let's just take this around all day.
25:03If somebody didn't want to pay,
25:06I tell them to go up under the turnstown,
25:09and you get home free.
25:11I can sort of understand that.
25:14You can't understand that.
25:16No, I think I could, actually.
25:18You can't understand nothing.
25:20You should probably keep in mind
25:21that using Street Jimmy's method
25:23to save a couple of dollars
25:24might well result in a summons
25:26from the Chicago PD.
25:29But do what you gotta do.
25:35I like museums.
25:36I know it might not look like that
25:37as I seldom am seen going into museums.
25:40And, of course, I do constantly advise you
25:42to avoid them, but not in Chicago.
25:45They've got good museums in Chicago.
25:47A lot of them.
25:48You got the art museum, which is great,
25:49but you also have the awesome Museum of Surgical Science
25:53off Lakeshore Drive.
25:55I'm obsessed with trepanning kits.
25:57I want one.
25:58This headache is killing me.
26:00I've been interested in trepanning.
26:02Great.
26:04And you actually have trepanning devices here?
26:07We do. Several.
26:08I'm so happy.
26:09This is a dream come true.
26:10Oh, good.
26:11Here.
26:12Back in the day, if you had a bad headache
26:13or were acting weird or just felt out of sorts,
26:15a popular treatment involved popping open your skull
26:18like a beer can and letting the pressure out.
26:21Fun, huh?
26:22Sometimes it even worked.
26:24Don't try this at home, kids.
26:26So trepanning is the oldest known surgery,
26:30and it was originated in Peru about 4,000 years ago.
26:33So as you can see in the painting,
26:35you're kind of drilling into the gentleman's skull,
26:39usually without any form of anesthesia.
26:42And this?
26:44That can't be good.
26:46Basically, there's a few other devices that would have been
26:49used in relation to the procedure.
26:51Right.
26:52So you have a few chainsaws,
26:53and this is actually an amputation saw.
26:56Now, I've been looking for one of these kits, honestly.
26:59They do pop up on eBay now and again.
27:03And there's one additional skull.
27:05I'm not sure if you noticed it,
27:06but the one on the top, you can see bone growth.
27:08So we know for a fact that that person
27:10actually survived the procedure.
27:12Ah.
27:13That's a neat hole, but no growth, so...
27:18No, probably did not survive.
27:20Yeah, well...
27:22It was not always a good thing
27:23when the doctor came visiting in the 19th century.
27:27Ooh, that's not good.
27:29That's a vaginal specula.
27:32Oh, my God.
27:33It looks like a pizza cutter.
27:36Oh, bloodletting.
27:38A cesarean.
27:40Oh, the gallery there.
27:42Looking at the brain slices.
27:44Ooh.
27:45Are there any syphilis treatment devices
27:47for curing of venereal diseases?
27:49Because they used to penetrate
27:50and open up this umbrella-type thing
27:52and yank it out.
27:55You know, I'm there looking at, like,
27:57Japan inkits and speculi,
28:00and, you know, I see a Japanese family there
28:03looking through the exhibit,
28:04and I'm thinking,
28:05what kind of sick could they be?
28:08Think I'll head back to my hotel,
28:10bore a hole in my skull, and relax.
28:13The thing about Chicago is that people in the city
28:22want you to love the city the way they do.
28:25There's something for everyone.
28:27If you want to just get loaded,
28:28you can do that easy enough.
28:30If that's not your thing,
28:31and you want to go to the top of a skyscraper,
28:34you can do that, too.
28:39You have to get a Schlitz.
28:41Yeah.
28:42Yeah.
28:43Barkeep.
28:44Yeah.
28:45Hey, can I get a Schlitz, too, please?
28:46I'll have another one of these, as well.
28:47Yeah, thanks.
28:48It's been a long time since I've had a Schlitz.
28:52Simon's Bar in the predominantly Swedish neighborhood
28:55of Andersonville.
28:56Like so many bars around town,
28:58born at the end of Prohibition in 1934
29:01and operating steadily since.
29:03Decorated in what might be called mid-period Viking.
29:06Old wood, you walk in the door here,
29:08it's like getting a big boozy hug from Pippi Longstocking.
29:12You know, Schlitz, not bad beer.
29:14It's really good.
29:15Schlitz is widely available here,
29:18so I'm on my way.
29:20The look of this place coming in,
29:22it was like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna like it here.
29:23Did you see the beaten up mural?
29:25Yeah.
29:26Old school.
29:27We gotta love it, the fake flowers,
29:29the Viking chips, the, you know, what?
29:32What can you say about a dive bar, you know?
29:34It's either got it or it doesn't.
29:36Yeah, this place has got it.
29:37Yeah.
29:38So let me ask some obvious questions.
29:41Chicago.
29:42Right.
29:43A friend of yours is coming in from town
29:44who's never been to Chicago before.
29:45Some bars would be a good thing for sure.
29:47You know what?
29:48I'd go to the Green Mill.
29:50Yeah.
29:51I would actually, if you want to really get the humanity of it all,
29:53I'd go to the Green Mill at 2.30 on a Saturday night.
29:57I agree with Paul, as always,
29:59that you should also keep in mind the terrific Green Mill.
30:03As pure Chicago as it gets.
30:06Music, often swing bands or jazz almost every night.
30:10A great, eclectic, non-douche crowd.
30:13And really, just a must-go Chicago thing.
30:16They don't make bars that look or feel like this anymore.
30:21You have pressed meat in tubes around the rest of the world.
30:26We don't really consider those hot dogs.
30:28Those are weak imitations.
30:30You haven't had a real hot dog until you had a Chicago-style hot dog.
30:33You get mustard, you get onions, you get that really bright green relish on it,
30:38some sweet peppers or sport peppers, and you just don't get ketchup.
30:42Don't ask for it, because they're not going to give it to you.
30:44By my way of thinking, the Chicago Red Hot is the finest example of hot dog on the planet.
30:51There, I said it and I meant it.
30:53Now me and Paul meet up with his partner Donnie at Jimmy's Red Hots in Humboldt Park.
30:59Donnie is an aficionado of the tubular meats, having run his own cart back in the day.
31:05I think each individual Chicago neighborhood has a favorite.
31:10And they also, there's variations, what kind of relish.
31:13Right, so is this as fiercely contested a neighborhood thing as like a White Sox Cubs thing?
31:18I think so, yeah.
31:19But, so this is your neighborhood, therefore it's your dog.
31:23One pays attention to the time-honored details when talking hot dogs here.
31:27Every element, the garnish, the bun itself.
31:31No one disagrees about the ketchup thing.
31:34That's just wrong.
31:36Oh man, I know that's a beautiful object.
31:40The bun is important too, steam.
31:42The bun is not toasted, steam.
31:44Steam.
31:45Dog boiled, not deep fried, or seared on tinfoil.
31:49It's also about the snap too.
31:51If that casing snaps in your mouth, you know it's...
31:53What?
31:54So what do you think?
31:55Uh, I'm thinking that's a good dog.
31:58There are many, many great hot dog options in Chicago.
32:02Buducky's drive-in on Lincoln Square, typical.
32:05Tiny shacks surrounded by an only slightly larger parking lot.
32:09But maybe it's a taco you need.
32:13You got that in Chicago.
32:15Lots of Mexicans in Chicago.
32:17And that always means good food.
32:19At Taqueria El Asadero, they have what you need.
32:23There's beef for chicken burritos, of course.
32:26And tacos and tortas and the usual fillings.
32:29But their lengua taco filling is the way to go.
32:32That's tongue, by the way.
32:33And good tongue.
32:39It's a good argument to have who makes the best hot dog in Chicago.
32:42But the fact is, you're generally talking about a very high level of meat in tube form.
32:50Whoever your favorite is.
32:52It's a perfect day for me, and I'm headed straight for a nap after this.
32:56For real?
32:57Oh, yeah.
32:58I got to rest up for, you know, round two.
33:01Spent the day getting drunk and eating, and then, you know, I'll be doing the same tonight.
33:06Tough job.
33:07Really?
33:08Hey, thanks, it's cold.
33:09Carman?
33:10Yeah, I believe that.
33:18There's two baseball teams in the city of Chicago.
33:20There's Cubs on the north side, Sox on the south side.
33:23I'm a Cubs guy.
33:24We won't even mention the Sox, even though I'm on the south side.
33:27I'm going with the Cubs.
33:28You're going to get me beat up around here.
33:30South side, much more serious about baseball, I think, because they have a winning team most of the time.
33:35For the White Sox to win the World Series, it was amazing.
33:37We don't expect it.
33:38The Cubs, they haven't won a World Series in over a century.
33:42I don't think they've ever won the World Series.
33:46Night falls.
33:47I love the sound of that.
33:48Night falls over Chicago.
33:50I'm headed to my fifth bar in two days, at least according to that bogus clock anyway.
33:55A baseball bar down the street from Wrigley Field during a night game.
34:00The L&L Tavern.
34:02Given its proximity to Wrigley Field, you'd assume it's a die-hard Cubs bar.
34:06But in fact, things are more complicated than that.
34:09Turns out they play both sides of the city.
34:12Probably wise, too, when the Cubs are getting their brains beat out.
34:15So, stereotypically, who are Cubs fans and who are White Sox fans?
34:20The Cubs fans are the snotty Northsiders, and the Sox fans are the working-class Southsiders.
34:27Now, that's the stereotype, but is that based in reality? Is it really class war?
34:32Yes.
34:33It is.
34:34We didn't have to think about that.
34:35No.
34:36It's an evil, vicious psycho.
34:38Now, I'm supposed to show you a liquor that's made in Chicago called Malort.
34:42Oh, really?
34:43Are you familiar with it?
34:44I was not.
34:45Soon you will be.
34:47This is one of the few liquors made in Chicago.
34:50Really?
34:51It is a digestif in the same school as Jaeger.
34:54Oh.
34:55But different.
34:57It's old German.
34:58It actually has wormwood in it as well.
35:00Oh, so there's a remote possibility that I could get all stabby and belligerent.
35:04Perhaps you could, and I've heard that's not uncommon.
35:07It's true.
35:08Cheers.
35:09Cheers.
35:14One might, one might go to the Skylark in Pilsen.
35:19Not me, you.
35:20When I'm in Pilsen, I go to the Skylark generally.
35:23It's kind of like friendly, kind of a weird, cool place.
35:26I think it was a bus terminal, actually, is my understanding.
35:29I'll eat there occasionally.
35:31Tater tots are great.
35:35Back at the L&L, the Cubs situation has improved.
35:38A bit.
35:39But not enough.
35:40Nine-two Cubs.
35:42Nine-two Cubs losing.
35:44Bottom of seventh.
35:46Bottom of seventh.
35:47So, stereotypically, deep dish pizza.
35:51If we were to take an informal poll of the bar, what percentage of these people actually like and eat deep dish pizza?
36:00Hey, how many of you like deep dish pizza?
36:02If you like deep dish pizza, raise your hand.
36:05Nobody from your deep dish pizza.
36:07Nobody from your deep dish pizza.
36:08Nobody from your deep dish pizza.
36:09It's a bold...
36:10When their friends come in there.
36:11Right.
36:12See, that was my theory.
36:14I hope that's the...
36:15I believe that's a working theory.
36:17Yes.
36:19Give that man a drink.
36:21My appetite's suitably enticed by local hooch.
36:24It's time for dinner.
36:27This is The Girl and the Goat.
36:29Owned and chefed by the righteously deserving Top Chef winner and all-around awesome person, Stephanie Izzard.
36:39Pick up scallops.
36:41Pick up shishito sugo.
36:43And pick up a trout.
36:46Two, four, six, eight, ten.
36:50That's a lot of cooks in there.
36:53It's big.
36:54Bigger than I expected.
36:56But it works.
36:57And works well.
36:59I mean, I was expecting a little place.
37:02This is like gigantic.
37:04And audacious.
37:05I mean, is America clamoring for goat?
37:09I start with kohlrabi salad, blueberries, and ginger vinaigrette.
37:13Because even I, like, need some roughage now and again.
37:16Roasted beets with green beans, kale, and anchovy, which is particularly delicious.
37:21Ravioli of escargot.
37:23This is indeed a happy place.
37:25So it's just the idea of classic escargot, but it's inside the ravioli.
37:29A little tamarind and bacon.
37:31Gotta get a little crunchy onion on top.
37:33Texture.
37:34Yeah.
37:35Wow.
37:38As far as food goes, you know, stereotypically meat and potatoes.
37:41People want meat and potatoes.
37:42But it turns out that Chicagoans are, like, just big foodies.
37:45And they want to try new things.
37:46And they're ready to sort of get past that old stereotype, I think.
37:50Well, of all of the cities in America, Chicago, for some reason, embraced modernist cooking to a degree that no other city in America did.
38:05Roasted cauliflower, pickled peppers, mint, grilled octopus with beans, guanciale, and fish sauce vinaigrette, which is incredible.
38:15You must give food writers fits, because you're very hard to pin down geographically.
38:20Are you born and bred Chicagoan?
38:22Born in Chicago.
38:23My whole family's from here, but raised on the East Coast.
38:26And something, like, brought me back here 12 years ago, so.
38:2912 years ago.
38:30That works.
38:31Yeah.
38:32That would qualify you as a Chicagoan, because apparently the qualifications are pretty rigorous here.
38:36Do you know your next-door neighbor's name?
38:38I do.
38:39You see?
38:40I mean, I live a few blocks away.
38:42I walk to the dog park.
38:43I walk to work.
38:44The fact that we're set on a lake, and it sort of makes it feel not that much like a city.
38:49There's just a lot more of a neighborhood cozy feel.
38:52And I think when I go visit other cities, I just kind of miss out.
38:55Oh, no.
38:56Whoa, wait.
38:57There's more.
38:58What is this?
38:59Goat belly with lobster and bourbon butter.
39:01Oh, really?
39:03And this, oh, Lord, how wonderful thou art.
39:07Oven-roasted pig face with, yes, fried egg and potato sticks.
39:13Wow.
39:14Just cut it up and go crazy, and then just eat it.
39:16Yeah.
39:17Nice.
39:18Oh, yeah.
39:19Look at that.
39:20Just gotta get a little bit of everything.
39:22I love the taste of pig's face in the evening.
39:27It tastes like victory.
39:31Cheers.
39:32Cheers.
39:33And we'll be right back after the .
39:37My flight leaves tomorrow, noon, a little while left.
39:44In Chicago, I think we're the city that invented Italian beefs.
39:52And that's when you take the sandwich and you dip it in the au jus.
39:55And whatever neighborhood you're from, everybody's got their beef stand that they go to.
39:59Mine is Johnny's because I'm from Elwood Park, and I will put his beef against anybody's.
40:04On my way back to the dreaded O'Hare, I stop for an important station of the cross.
40:10Johnny's Beef, where they do the all-important Chicago staple, Italian beef, right.
40:15Uh, beef, uh, hot, sweet, wet.
40:20Beef, sweet, hot.
40:21Make it juicy.
40:22And a large lemonade.
40:24Large lemon.
40:25Oh.
40:26Beloved by Chicagoans as it well should be.
40:29Superbly moist, some might say drenched, and delicious.
40:32This transcendental amalgam of slowly cooked round steak, sweet, sweet peppers, hot peppers,
40:39dripping with magical, greasy beef juice.
40:44You know, I have to say, there's something a little awkward about going up to a grown man
40:48and saying, you know, I like some Italian beef.
40:51Hot, sweet, and wet, my good man.
40:55To which his response was, make it juicy.
40:58I don't know.
40:59Let us see this magnificent creation.
41:04Favorite son of Chicago.
41:05Oh, Jesus.
41:06Look at this.
41:07Holy crap.
41:08Holy .
41:14Wow.
41:15It is a big, soggy load of awesomeness.
41:21Mmm.
41:24Another excellent option, of course, would be the legendary pork chop sandwich at Jim's
41:28Original, which has been making these things brilliantly for like 70 years.
41:33The premier pork chop sandwich.
41:35But you gotta be careful.
41:36You don't wanna bite in the bone.
41:38There are two best times to eat a pork chop sandwich in Chicago.
41:42Either before or after you go to a White Sox game, or four o'clock in the morning.
41:48And when you're wasted, it's a much tougher sandwich because, after all, there is that giant bone in it.
41:56I'll tell ya, that deep dish .
41:59This.
42:00This is a signature dish that any great city should be proud to boast of.
42:08Chicago.
42:09Done right, you drag your ass sleepily off to the airport, chin smeared with the grease from an Italian beef sandwich.
42:16Belching mustard from last night's red hot.
42:18Dimly trying to remember to whom you must apologize for your previous misadventures.
42:23Oh, Chicago, you are indeed a wonderful, wonderful town.
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