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00:00Deprived of sleep, the two teams were each given a huge pile of ridiculous information to study.
00:05Trapped in a Hollywood storefront all night, they had to resist the urge to sleep and cram as many facts as possible into their exhausted brains.
00:13No sleep, no privacy, no mercy.
00:17I don't even want to deal with you anymore.
00:19Now we're going to find out what they've learned. There's 10 grand on the line.
00:23It's time to...
00:25Cram!
00:25Hello, I'm Graham Elwood and welcome to Cram.
00:30Four sleep-deprived, pajama-clad contestants are about to bumble and stumble their way around for a shot at $10,000.
00:38All for your viewing pleasure.
00:40Earlier, our exhausted Crammers were delivered via Saturn Ion from their overnight study sessions in a Hollywood storefront.
00:46They're just arriving now. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Crammers!
00:53Look at that.
00:54High-fiving. Oh, rump shaking. Nice to have them.
00:58Folks, look at your teams. You're going to be watching today. We have two fine teams ready to cram it out for $10,000.
01:04Ian and Taryn, thank you guys for being on the show. You guys have been friends for six months.
01:08All right. I hope the seven month works out.
01:10Fert and Tiffany, you guys have been friends for five years. Right on. Thanks for being on the show.
01:14Guess what? Now you get to join the lovely Icy, who's going to direct you on your giant hamster wheels.
01:19Run on over there, Crammers. That's right.
01:21I don't know why, but I'm talking in a crazy TV host voice, so let's do it. I'm going to move this velvet rope. You guys could get up on in there.
01:28All right. Now I'm annoyed at my own voice. All right, you guys. Get the giant wheels a-moving. Come on.
01:35You know what, you guys? You made it through the nights at Wyoming to do? Boom, hundred here. Boom, hundred right there.
01:41But let's see if you can hold on to them in the rant.
01:43Last night, we gave our Crammers a choice of two articles to study. From People Magazine, an article about Diane Lane.
01:50And from the National Examiner, an article about dogs who serve and protect Tiffany and Burton.
01:56You guys won the 3M coin toss. Which article did you guys choose to study?
02:00Diane Lane.
02:01Oh, God bless her.
02:03Well, we've secretly selected eight key words or phrases from that article. For every one of those you mentioned, you will hear this.
02:08There it is. And you're going to get ten points.
02:11But you must talk continuously. If the judges hear any ums or ahs, they will buzz you.
02:16Right like that. And you lose five points.
02:19Here are the key words for the folks at home.
02:21Who's going first?
02:23I am.
02:23All right. You're going to rant for the first 20 seconds.
02:25Then you, Tiffany, will rant for the second 20 seconds.
02:29Ready? Go!
02:30Diane Lane started La Mama Theater at the age of six.
02:34She has a daughter that is nine years old.
02:36Her name is Eleanor.
02:37And she is her, she was on, she was on the cover of Time at the age of 14, where she was a Hollywood, um, and she was also the, switch.
02:53Her co-star in the TV version of A Streetcar Named Desire was Alec Baldwin.
02:56He said that she was tough this year. She was nominated for an Oscar for Best Actress for her work in Adrienne Lynn's Unfaithful.
03:02Her co-star in that movie, Richard Gere, also appeared with her in the 1984 film, The Cotton Club.
03:07She's been dating Josh Brolin for one year.
03:09Her mother's name is Colleen, and her father's...
03:12All right, Simon. All right, keep the wheels a-moving, kids, but stop the rant.
03:15You guys did a great job.
03:16You got six of the key words or phrases.
03:18Obviously, big Diane Lane fans of the judges only buzzed you two times.
03:21Let's see how that buck and a half holds up.
03:23Ian and Taryn, they study Diane Lane.
03:26All right, so you guys are going to be talking about dogs.
03:28Here are the key words for the folks at home.
03:32Who's going first?
03:33I am.
03:33You guys know the rules.
03:35Ready? Go!
03:36Jen Binder wrote a book called Dog Heroes, and she was about dog paws,
03:43and she, um, World Trade Center, September 11th, collapsed, and dogs serve and protect,
03:54and, and she...
03:57Switch!
03:58The canine search and rescue crew helped clean up the mess that was in the...
04:05Okay, all right, out of time.
04:19Keep the wheels moving.
04:20I would say stop ranting, but you guys didn't really talk.
04:23You guys got one of the key words or phrases.
04:26The judges buzzed you nine times.
04:29Let's see how that 65 points does.
04:32So, at the end of round one, Ian and Taryn, 65 points to Tiffany and Burton's 150.
04:38Don't worry, you guys, there's not any more ranting left,
04:41and you'll have plenty of opportunity to catch it when we come back,
04:44but for now, you guys got to keep those giant wheels moving.
04:46Next, we send our tired crammer straight to hell.
04:50Don't you mean, uh, to round two?
04:53Round two, hell, it's all the same.
04:55On cram!
05:02Hello, Taryn.
05:07You're making a banana.
05:14Welcome back to cram.
05:16Only one of these poor tire teams is going to get a chance at $10,000.
05:19Ian and Taryn have 65 points, but with 150.
05:23Tiffany and Burton, you guys are in the lead.
05:25Hop on down there.
05:26Come on, kids.
05:27We kept you up all night, put you in a Hollywood storefront, videotaped the entire thing,
05:32and I know you guys are friends, and, uh, Tiffany, kind of gently let you know,
05:37Burton, that that's all you guys are ever going to be.
05:41Let's take a look at that right now.
05:45It's not that I'm not attracted to you.
05:47It's that I have a boyfriend who I love very much.
05:54Fair enough.
05:55Fair enough.
05:55And because we're locked in a room together, quite frankly, nothing is attractive to me
06:01right now.
06:04So, leave me my bed.
06:08Dude, I feel for you.
06:09We've all been there.
06:10That's rough.
06:11We've all been there, man.
06:12All right, well, in addition to, uh, that lovely moment, uh, you guys studied Rhythm
06:16and Beauty, a book about exotic drums of the world, and the Hairstyle and Hair Care book.
06:21Which test do you guys want?
06:23Hair.
06:24Hairstyle.
06:24Hairstyle's it is.
06:25All right.
06:26Over there are seven of the hairstyles that you guys studied.
06:30And over here are seven bald, Icy's, each labeled the names of those hairdos.
06:35We've got the Paige Boy, Regency, Farrah Fawcett.
06:39You guys are going to have 40 seconds to run over.
06:41Grab a hairpiece and place it on the matching Icy.
06:44Of course, you're also going to be answering questions from Cram's big, dumb book of stupid
06:48lists.
06:48I'll give you a TV show.
06:49You tell me the balding actor on that show.
06:52Guys, look like you kind of remember that.
06:54You get 10 points for each correct answer.
06:5620 points for each correctly placed hairdo.
06:58Which one of you is going to answer the first question?
07:02Vert, do me a favor.
07:02Stand on the eyeball.
07:04Okay.
07:05Ready?
07:06Go.
07:07Vert and Seinfeld.
07:09Jason Alexander.
07:10That's correct.
07:11Tiffany, Kojak.
07:12Kelly Savalas.
07:13That's right.
07:13Vert, curb your enthusiasm.
07:15Larry David.
07:16You got it.
07:17Tiffany, Star Trek, The Next Generation.
07:19Patrick Stewart.
07:20That's correct.
07:20Vert, Night Court.
07:22Got to wait for the tag.
07:24Richard Moll.
07:25That is correct.
07:26Tiffany, The Shield.
07:27Michael Chiklis.
07:28That's correct.
07:28Vert, Mary Tyler Moore.
07:31Mary Tyler Moore, Vert, and Pat.
07:33Wrong.
07:33Ed Asner, Tiffany, Alice.
07:37Pass.
07:38Wrong.
07:38Vic Tayback, Vert, and Larry Sanders show.
07:39Vert, and Larry Sanders show.
07:43Wrong.
07:44Jeffrey Tambor.
07:45Tiffany, my wife and kids.
07:46Damon Way.
07:47That's correct.
07:48Oh, just that.
07:49Oh, Buffon's not going to be in time.
07:51Vert, and come back over here, my friend.
07:53You guys started out well with the questions.
07:55You got seven of them.
07:56Bring your score up to 220 points.
07:58Not bad.
07:59Let's see how many of the 20-point views you guys got.
08:03Oh, look at that.
08:05You guys thought that was the page boy.
08:08Let's make that right.
08:08Oh, I see.
08:10Oh, look at that.
08:12Is that the page boy?
08:13That is the page boy.
08:15You guys thought this was the Regency.
08:17That is worth 20 points, the Regency.
08:20You thought this was the poodle.
08:22That is the poodle.
08:24You guys thought this was the shag.
08:26Looks like a little bit like what Carol Brady had on.
08:28Is that right for 20 points?
08:29Yes, it is.
08:30Buffon wasn't in time.
08:32Oh, sorry, it wasn't in time.
08:34It was correct, though.
08:35You know what?
08:35I've always wanted to see Icy and a Farrah Fawcett from my childhood.
08:39Yes.
08:40Oh, my fantasies have been fulfilled.
08:42Not bad for tired people.
08:44You guys got four of them correct, bringing your score up to 300 points.
08:48Not bad.
08:49Now you can quaff your hair as you get back on your lovely hamster wheels.
08:53All right, Ian and Taryn, now it's your turn.
08:56Hop on down off that giant hamster wheel.
08:59All right, kids.
09:01Okay, we kept you guys up all night, and apparently you kind of lost your minds at about 2 a.m.
09:06Let's take a look at that right now.
09:08What?
09:10Ugh.
09:11I don't even want to deal with you anymore.
09:13Ugh.
09:15Ugh.
09:18Look, I'm crying.
09:19You're making me cry.
09:20Good.
09:21You need to learn a lesson.
09:23Nice.
09:25Well, that's good that you guys are getting along in the middle of the night.
09:28That's outstanding.
09:28I like how you were just dotting your eye, going, hmm, I'll just let this little tantrum pass.
09:33All right, so the first team, of course, had to recognize hairstyles.
09:37You guys are going to have to recognize drums.
09:39So run on over to that Cram logo.
09:41Oh.
09:41Oh, as you can see here, I see some kind of drums right in the trunk of our Saturn Ion quad
09:48coop are seven of the exotic drums that you guys studied last night.
09:52And, of course, the quad coop's 140 horsepower engine.
09:55We'll make sure you get to your gig on time.
09:57And over there is a table labeled with the name of those drums.
10:01We've got the doom back, the udu, the djembe, among others.
10:06You guys are going to have 40 seconds.
10:07Run over to the Saturn Ion quad coop, grab a drum, and place it in the correct matching
10:12area.
10:12Of course, while answering questions from Cram's Big Dumb Book of Stupid list, I'll give
10:17you the name of a Grammy-winning album of the year.
10:19You give me the name of the band or artist.
10:22You guys remember that?
10:23Mm-hmm.
10:23Kind of?
10:24Okay.
10:25Let's hope so.
10:25You guys are going to get 10 points for each correct answer, 20 points for each correctly
10:29placed drum.
10:30Which one of you is going first?
10:31I am.
10:31All right.
10:32Ready?
10:34Go!
10:34Ian, Thriller.
10:35Michael Jackson.
10:36That's correct.
10:37Tieran, Faith.
10:37George Michael.
10:38That's correct.
10:39Ian, Graceland.
10:40Pass.
10:41Wrong.
10:41Paul Simon.
10:42Tieran, come away with me.
10:43Clock's ticking.
10:43Nora Jones.
10:44That's correct.
10:45Ian, Songs in the Key of Life.
10:47Stevie Wonder.
10:47That's correct.
10:49Tieran, 52nd Street.
10:50Billy Joel.
10:51That's correct.
10:51Ian, Supernatural.
10:54Pass.
10:55Wrong.
10:56Santana, Tieran, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart Company.
10:58That's correct.
10:58Ian, Jagged Little Pill.
11:00Ellis Morissette.
11:01That's correct.
11:02Tieran, Nick of Time.
11:04Bonnie Rae.
11:04That is correct.
11:06Ian, Joshua Tree.
11:07You too.
11:07That is correct.
11:08Tieran, No Jacket Required.
11:12That's correct.
11:12All the questions are out.
11:13There you go.
11:14More time for the drums.
11:16Woo, man.
11:17All right.
11:17Out of time.
11:18Put that drum down.
11:19You guys did an excellent job.
11:22You got 10 of the 10-point questions correct, bringing your score up to 165 points.
11:29That's how you make up.
11:31Let's see how many of the 20-point drums you guys got.
11:35All right.
11:35You thought this was the June June.
11:38That's how we pronounce it.
11:39Is that the June June?
11:41You know what?
11:41That is the June June.
11:43Look at that.
11:44For 20 points, you guys thought this was the Doom Beck, which is this one made out of goat
11:48skin.
11:49It's a goat skin head.
11:51That's right, kids.
11:52Nice job.
11:53You guys thought this was the Udu.
11:55You know what?
11:55That is the Udu that you do so well.
11:59All right.
11:59You guys thought this was the Pandero.
12:01Oh, Pandero.
12:03You know what?
12:03That is the Pandero.
12:07All right.
12:07You guys thought this was the Gem Bay.
12:09Is that correct?
12:10The Gem Bay.
12:11Is that?
12:12Ooh, the Gem Bay's heavy.
12:14You know what?
12:14That's right.
12:15Nice job, you guys.
12:17Wow.
12:18That's from West Africa.
12:19Nice work, you guys.
12:20You got five of them bringing your score up to 265 points.
12:24Contest is becoming closer, and you guys can get closer back on your hamster wheel.
12:28So head back up there.
12:30Man, they have rallied back to make this an interesting contest.
12:33So at the end of round two, Ian and Tieran have 265 points to Tiffany and Burton's 300.
12:39The final elimination is next.
12:42I see that means one of our little teams will be leaving the nest.
12:45Aw, the Kramers grew up so fast these days.
12:47Aw, and one team could grow up to $10,000 richer.
12:50It's next on Kram.
12:51Grab it.
12:56Grab it.
12:56Take that.
13:05Okay.
13:06All right.
13:06I'll post.
13:07Welcome back, Kramers.
13:12It's off those wheels.
13:13I want this thing settled.
13:14All right.
13:15Tiffany and Burton with 300 points.
13:16You guys are in the lead.
13:17So you can relax with Icy and those comfortable chairs.
13:20Taryn and Ian, you guys are behind with 265 points.
13:23You're going to have some work to do to stay in the game.
13:26All right.
13:26You're going to be answering questions from 3,650.
13:29Jokes, puns, and riddles.
13:30All you have to do is keep the green light on.
13:34If the light is green, you can answer the questions to keep the green light on.
13:37Ian, you have to pedal at least 10 miles an hour.
13:39For every correct answer that she gives, you guys get 30 points.
13:42For every incorrect answer, you will have to pedal three more miles an hour faster to keep the light green.
13:47You guys have 40 seconds.
13:49You need two correct answers to stay in the game.
13:53Ready?
13:54Go.
13:57What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
13:59A stick.
13:59That's correct.
13:59What stands in the New York Harbor, holds a torch, and sneezes a lot?
14:03A chew of liberty.
14:04That's correct.
14:04Where do baby soldiers get their basic training?
14:06Booty camp.
14:07That's right.
14:08Why did Zorro engage in so many sword fights?
14:10He was leading a dual life.
14:11You got it.
14:11Which officer is the butt of a lot of sailor jokes?
14:15The rear admiral.
14:17That is correct.
14:18What's the difference between a counterfeit bill and an irate rabbit?
14:21One is a mad bunny.
14:23The other one is bad money.
14:24That's correct.
14:25What can you hold in your right hand that you can't hold in your left hand?
14:28Uh, your pinky.
14:32Wrong.
14:33Your left double, none of the three miles an hour.
14:35Why did the poem out of time?
14:37All right.
14:37You guys got six of them.
14:39Nice job.
14:40You only needed two.
14:40You got six.
14:41You pulled ahead by 145 points.
14:43Let's see how it holds up.
14:44Come on.
14:45They're rallying back.
14:47Vert and Tiffany, get on up there.
14:49Making it a very exciting contest.
14:50Crammer's scurrying all over the stage.
14:53All right.
14:53Tiffany and Vert, you guys now need five correct answers to win.
14:57You know the rules.
14:59Ready?
15:00Go.
15:01Why did the witch go out into the desert?
15:05Because she wanted to test some dry spells.
15:07That's correct.
15:07What kind of truck does a road hog drive?
15:09An 18th Wheeler.
15:10That's right.
15:11What do you get if you cross a chicken with test papers?
15:13Exams.
15:14That's right.
15:15What did one important electrode say to the other?
15:16Let's do, hey, let's do a power lunch sometime soon.
15:19That's right.
15:20What did the scotman do when he couldn't find a pair of pants to wear?
15:22He killed himself.
15:23That's right.
15:24You guys just won.
15:25Way to go.
15:27You didn't even have to make Vert work that hard.
15:29You guys earned a chance at $10,000.
15:32And more importantly, you've got a little nap coming.
15:34So why don't you hop on down there.
15:35Go join our resident sleep therapist, Ms. Pickwick,
15:38who will tuck you in for an all-important nap.
15:41You guys, you know you had a rough time with the rant round,
15:44but you rallied back.
15:45You made it quite a contest.
15:46We very much appreciate you being on the show.
15:50And just for staying up all night and getting this far,
15:52we are going to give you guys $500, which is nice.
15:54So after taxes, we'll probably owe us money.
15:56But thanks.
15:58During the commercials, Ms. Pickwick is going to read our crammer
16:00some warm and snuggly bedtime facts that they have never heard before.
16:04They better concentrate, because when we return,
16:06there will be a $10,000 quiz.
16:08Ms. Pickwick, they're all yours.
16:11The 1,000th most common last name in the U.S.
16:16is Vang.
16:20Title 14, Section 1211F,
16:24the Code of Federal Regulations implemented on July 16th, 1969,
16:31makes it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact
16:35with extraterrestrials or their vehicles.
16:39The American Society for Clumsy People disbanded in 1983.
16:49You must be so sleepy.
16:54Actor Lorne Green had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator.
17:01The article of clothing both men and women say they least enjoy trying on
17:09are pants.
17:12The G.I. Joe's search for the Abominable Snowman set
17:16comes with flocked-haired G.I. Joe,
17:20white snowsuit,
17:22green sun goggles,
17:24ice boat,
17:25and abominable snowman.
17:30I am hungry in Inuit Eskimo
17:33is cock tanga.
17:37Someone who is obsequious
17:39can also be called
17:41a brown noser.
17:43The Albany Medical College
17:47had an exhibition of 200 works of art
17:50depicting headache pain.
17:55Welcome back to Cram.
17:56In just a moment,
17:57an alarm will go off
17:58and the crammers will have 60 seconds
18:00to run over to these surfboards
18:02and get in balance
18:03before I can start asking questions.
18:06I will quiz them on the facts
18:07that Miss Pickwick has just read to them.
18:10For every question they get right,
18:11they get a little closer.
18:12For every question they get wrong,
18:14they fall back.
18:15If they can get all the way up to level 5
18:16within 60 seconds,
18:18they will win $10,000.
18:20But,
18:20if any part of their bodies
18:21or any part of the boards
18:23touch the ground,
18:24I will stop reading
18:25and start the question again
18:27from the beginning.
18:28Here we go.
18:29Let's go!
18:30Come on!
18:30Come on!
18:31Come on!
18:31Let's go!
18:32Clock's ticking!
18:32Come on!
18:33Clock's ticking!
18:33Come on!
18:34Come on!
18:34Come on!
18:35In what year?
18:37In what year?
18:39In what year?
18:41In what year?
18:42In what year was the society?
18:44In what year?
18:451983!
18:46That's correct!
18:46What percentage of Americans
18:50say they couldn't live without a TV set?
18:5193%!
18:52Wrong!
18:5219!
18:53What is the name of the famous?
18:54What is the name of the?
18:55What is the?
18:55What is the name of the famous RCA dog?
19:00Nipper!
19:01That's correct!
19:01How many gallons of onion ice cream
19:03is the Vidal?
19:0348 gallons!
19:04That's correct!
19:04What?
19:05What?
19:05What?
19:05What?
19:06What?
19:06What?
19:06What family?
19:07What?
19:07What family?
19:08What family?
19:08What family?
19:08The Louie family!
19:09Wrong!
19:09Lily!
19:10What?
19:11What?
19:11What?
19:12What percent?
19:13What percent of Northern Ireland residents say they're happy?
19:1698%!
19:16Wrong!
19:1792%!
19:17What?
19:18What is the?
19:19What is the name?
19:19What?
19:20What is the name of the only privately owned wildebeest in the United States?
19:23Path!
19:24Path!
19:25Wrong!
19:26Path!
19:27Witch!
19:28Witch!
19:29Witch Pope!
19:30Witch Pope!
19:31Choked to death on a fly!
19:32Out of time!
19:33Oh!
19:34You guys!
19:35Man!
19:36I'm sorry!
19:37You got very, very close, man!
19:39You did all right with the surfboards.
19:41Icy's got some cups of coffee for you here.
19:43Grab those.
19:44You can keep those cram mugs.
19:45Show them over here to the folks at home so everyone can see you on TV.
19:49You stayed up all night.
19:50You made it.
19:51At least this far.
19:52Sorry you guys didn't win the $10,000, but thank you very much for being on the show.
19:55We are going to give you $1,000 for getting this far, so thank you very much for doing
20:00that.
20:01All right?
20:02That's it for today, but the contestants for our next show are already loading into the
20:06Hollywood and Highland Crammatoriums.
20:08They look pretty fresh now.
20:09Wait till you see them tomorrow.
20:11For all of us here at Cramm, I'm Graham Elwood saying if you snooze, you lose.
20:22Bye.
20:23Bye.
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