17:29Yeah.
19:59You know, for us.
24:29You know, you don't do that.
24:59You're going to do that.
25:03You just...
25:04And you have heresar.
25:05Yeah, you're going to be...
25:05And you know, yeah.
25:06And...
25:10do our jump and I said all right do your jump but it went viral instantly but it was the aunties
25:16and uncles in there baby don't do that no more baby don't do it so it's not trolls it's just
25:20those that are being protective of who we are as a family I would agree yeah right so the intent is
25:26to protect but I think it's also a little judgment a little dab of judgment you know I think we need
25:32to give couples credit that they can protect their own relationship that you know that you
25:37don't need to be doing all of that exactly so what advice would you give to a new couple who
25:43wants to protect their marriage and they're recently married they don't want to let the
25:47outside world in well people gonna get in if you let them in just remember that and I think the I
25:56think what's beautiful like is as you see with Egypt and Mike ourselves like one if you're in a
26:02relationship you're gonna have trials and tribulations that that's that's part of life
26:06but having each other having a strong significant other is the reason why you don't fall into what
26:13trolls and followers and what like they they don't live in your house with you they not under your roof
26:20so it's for us to get through what we're going through I would tell a young young couples get through
26:25what you're going through together lean off of each other um when you when you're like my wife
26:31compliments all my weaknesses uh I like to feel I do the same with her and that's pretty much good
26:38enough for to keep to keep moving on we're not perfect but we're just gonna keep pushing out the
26:45envelope for when it comes to doing our thing and I would say to portray authenticity because that
26:51that comes with balance you know because if you just try to put out something that's inauthentic or you know
26:58everything's perfect and everything's great and grand it's it's unbelievable because that's not a real
27:02relationship you can't trust that yeah not at all yeah I would say give it 24 hours because piggybacking off of
27:11what Ajwa just said relationships have ebbs and flows right you're gonna have great days and then you're gonna have
27:17Wednesdays which is our our staff meeting day where I want to kill him well I give it 24 hours though
27:23right don't emotionally post and I think we're in this we're in this world where everything happens
27:31and we want to post it instantly and we want to tell everybody everything instantly but instead you gotta
27:37like step away from that breathe calm down because the internet lives forever once it's posted it is there
27:44and you may you may regret it you may not feel that way the next day right so do that and then you can
27:50protect your relationship and the integrity thereof I would say to that question because the question
27:56again was to the young couple newlywed just getting into business together I would say make sure your
28:04foundation is solid within between the two of you because if you two don't work no matter what you try to
28:09build on that foundation it's not going to work right and as far as style peace said it's only who
28:15you're going to let in that's going to make it work right so make sure you let in the right people so
28:18that your tribe the people that's going to protect and build you up are those that belong in that circle
28:24yeah that was so good that was so good I'm like yeah taking it for myself so this is a tough one
28:33but statistics now show that almost 50 percent of marriages end in divorce and when it comes to
28:40black couples we have the highest rate of divorce with 30 percent right so what do you consider your
28:46personal defenses against marriage warfare listen I think a lot of people are getting married for the
28:52wrong reasons marriage is work really when you look it up in a dictionary it should say marriage equals
28:59work so for simple which means every day that you get up you make a conscious decision that the union
29:04you created is worth the work that you got to put in to keep it healthy and a lot of times we put so
29:11much into our jobs or our careers we pour so much into our image so much into our social media and leave
29:18very little left for the actual union Mike and I we actually canceled our wedding we were scheduled to get
29:26married and we realized that we hadn't done the work and this was three weeks before the wedding
29:32so we decided we made a conscious decision that we wanted to put more work into our relationship
29:38before actually saying I do so we canceled the wedding all the calls were like girl he cheated on you
29:43no we this is you know this is something we want to do and then when we did say I do we were ready
29:50ready you know and to be a team and we understood you know more what that union called for from
29:56each of us to be one and it was taking the I out of the relationship and substituting it in for the
30:03us and the we right that's good that's good well um
30:10well there's there's a story behind that laugh well no you go
30:19you got to keep people it goes back to who you let in your business what you're having your
30:26relationship for and what's the reason going on a lot of young black marriages don't last a lot of
30:32marriages don't last because a marriage is a journey like she was saying it should say
30:38marriages work in a journey like so you're gonna have ups and downs now if you're not solid within
30:45who you are and solid and within learning off of each other that's why the marriages fail like you
30:51have to know who's strong here who's weak here who's weak here who's strong here how did it meet in
30:57the middle how to listen and learn how to figure it out example my wife didn't like me yesterday
31:03yesterday that's real she ain't like me yesterday but today you know but it takes some sometimes you
31:12have to talk things out or you have to listen or you have to know when not to talk when to stop
31:17talking when to come back and and and and focus on it and then want to look at something and say
31:23where you're wrong at and where you went wrong like i'm a i'm a little hard-headed at times and
31:28she'll be saying a point that's exactly right but maybe my emotions aren't intact all the way
31:34to receive it and i don't want to i don't want to hear it at that time from her when i'm angry and
31:39that she's right so you might you might not say the thing so it's about taking your time and
31:44understanding that you have a love or if you have a love that's going to stand the test of time
31:49about figuring it out and not letting other people into your business and trying to have that
31:55conversation on your own and constantly whether it's um reading something figuring it out talking
32:04therapy whatever you got to do you got to figure out something to be able to to reproach and come and
32:10fix the situation well in a nutshell i would just say monitor your outside influences yeah you know
32:16because between family friends social media everyone has a comment a judgment an opinion
32:21and at the end of the day the only opinions that should matter is what you guys right you know feel
32:26and think i'd like to add to that too as well you know because you both said two things that i speak
32:31about a lot within marriages we underestimate two things fun and like the reason we work is because
32:40we continue to date each other i actually like her how you doing because you can be in love with
32:47someone that you do not like right we underestimate underestimate the power of liking someone i love
32:54you but i don't like you so can you go over there you can love a family mama you can love a family
33:00mama from afar but not like them right right with the fun aspect we don't do nothing we never go
33:06anywhere we don't enjoy each other's company and we're not having fun so now i don't like you so now
33:10the resentment builds up right so the fun and like are two words within relationships people
33:15underestimate now to add to what you said as far as the union or the marriage when you get married
33:22you create another family so when we think about marriages we usually think oh her family my family
33:28but once you get married there's her family my family then our family and you got to protect
33:33your family despite your family members and whoever else it may be protect your union over your mama
33:40over your daddy and everywhere because god said now you got to under here this one you didn't like
33:44that though no that was a word that was a word that was a word yes and i think that's a great note to end
33:50off on to protect your family protect your relationship love and like your partner um it was such a pleasure
33:57speaking with all of you guys thank you for having us thank you so much for helping us keep it real
34:01about black love on the essence stage and if you need more relationship advice and content or a recap
34:07follow me on instagram beverly andre underscore if you need a little bit more tips okay guys
34:12great job thank you thank you thank you thank you essence
34:16that's my dj go dj that's my dj go dj that's my dj go dj yeah we're easy we step up to the mic dude
34:35ladies and gentlemen what you have
34:42we love it make some noise loved it loved it loved it loved it
35:12all right y'all was that panel amazing or what
35:19well there's more essence stage fun in store right after this short break
35:26so feel free to explore all that essence fest has to offer do we have any gen z-er creators or
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35:52tiktokers and more today we'll see you guys in just a few minutes all right dj red corvette
35:59take us out hey yes yes hi
36:04oh literally
36:09literally we're coming back
36:12we're about black we are not going to dilute that we celebrate blackness without
36:37having to accommodate everybody full stop
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