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Small Achievable Goals - Season 2 Episode 4 - Hrt, And Other Party Tricks
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00:00The following program contains mature subject matter and coarse language. Viewer discretion is advised.
00:30With my heart, yeah. I walk into an empty room.
00:37Good morning?
00:39Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. The HRT finally kicked in.
00:42Oh my God, I slept through the entire night.
00:45These are the same pajamas I went to bed in, and they are still dry.
00:49No night sweats. I feel like I'm 20.
00:52Well then, tonight we celebrate. I'll order in quarter chicken combos, yeah?
00:56I am so happy right now, I can't even be mad that they changed their fries.
00:59But how do you feel about the hard bun situation?
01:02Not mad!
01:03You're back.
01:04I'm back! Oh, wait a minute, we can't do it tonight because we've got to do my work thing.
01:08But, in the meantime, I was wondering if you would be interested in doing some stuff.
01:16HRT Julie would like to test her new powers.
01:20Really?
01:20Really.
01:21Oh, do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go to the store and I'm going to buy some new underwear.
01:26Oh, yeah, and I'm going to make sure I get a nap in this afternoon because I want all the energy left over for you.
01:31Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.
01:35Not later. Now.
01:36Now?
01:37Now.
01:38Like, now, now?
01:39Now, now, now, now.
01:40Okay, Chris, uh, yes, good news. We now know the cause of all of your excessive bleeding. You have two polyps on your uterus.
01:55And the reason for all that extra pain is because of a cyst on one of your ovaries.
01:59Oh, my gosh.
02:00It's not as bad as it sounds.
02:01Now we know.
02:02Now we know.
02:03That's so, that's good.
02:04Yes, exactly.
02:05Just what happens now?
02:06So the next step is, I'm going to refer you to a specialist and they're going to take over some of your treatment from there.
02:11Okay.
02:11The great part is you finally have an answer. So that's got to feel pretty good.
02:14Yeah, this is good. Moving on to the next step.
02:16Um, remember the last time I was in and I was telling you that I was, like, having some feelings of, like, anxiety or, you know, it's kind of not going anywhere.
02:25And it's, like, even over small decisions, like, is it white rice? Is it brown rice that I'm going to eat tonight?
02:29I'm like, oh, pantyhose or a thin sock and a tall boot. And it makes me feel like I'm a flipped over race car on fire.
02:34It's like I've got a tight helmet and those really weird thin socks.
02:36So everything's just like, you know, it's like I'm choking on life.
02:40And, um, you know, that feeling, I mean, I'm sure, do other women, do you hear?
02:43Of course. Um, being a middle-aged woman is hard. You know, there's work, there's kids. It can be overwhelming.
02:49These feelings you're having really make sense.
02:51I'm not sure that it makes sense. I don't know that it does.
02:54Okay, well, now we have a path forward.
02:57Yeah, we definitely have a path forward. And I am so grateful to finally know because that was, um, I just, I don't know that Paul of some pantyhose sort of put out that fire.
03:06Dude, I don't think they, they might, but I don't know.
03:09Okay, here's what I'd like to do.
03:10Yeah.
03:11Um, I want you to go see the specialist. We're going to start there.
03:13Okay.
03:13And, um, and then if you're still having these feelings, why don't you go ahead and book follow up with me, okay?
03:17Okay.
03:18I am so sorry. I do have to go because I just, I have so many people out there.
03:20Oh, yes, I can hear. I know. Okay.
03:22You take care of them.
03:23Yes.
03:23Yeah.
03:23So I'm going to see, okay, and then we'll.
03:25Okay, great. Terrific.
03:27This is how long, I wonder how long we'll have to wait.
03:29I feel it all. I feel it all. I feel it all. I feel it all.
03:34HRT is amazing.
03:38That's the word on the street.
03:39It's only been a couple of weeks, but I feel like myself again.
03:43I'm 100% happy. Poor Vu.
03:45And I dreamt. I mean, okay, the dream wasn't great.
03:49Yeah.
03:49My teeth fell out and I had to chase them all around my kitchen, but I didn't wake up.
03:52I had a dream. I had a dream that I was climbing a mountain, except it was a mountain of pebbles,
03:56and I was just like, I was drowning, I was drowning.
03:57I was, ah, ah, and I'm sinking and all the pebbles are going in my mouth.
04:00My eye can't, I can't see. I just, I had pebbles in all my holes.
04:03Oh, oh, oh, and I forgot. The other thing, no more joint pain. I feel like I got my mojo back.
04:08Oh, wow.
04:09Okay, listeners, we want to thank you because we just hit the 100,000 subscriber mark.
04:17Yeah, yes!
04:18Woo!
04:19Woot, woot.
04:20I see you read my office party protocol.
04:23Nothing like coming back to the office after working an entire day in the office for an industry event.
04:28I detect a note of sarcasm in your voice.
04:31Mo, that is the only tone I've got.
04:32Small Achievable Goals hitting 100,000 subscribers is not nothing.
04:36Aw, this was Chelsea's cottage cheese.
04:39The saddest of all cheeses, look, we are all broken up about Chelsea's departure.
04:44I mean, she told me she quit in a voice note.
04:47Oh.
04:47You're going to find yourself another curly-haired weirdo.
04:51I don't want another curly-haired weirdo. I want Chelsea.
05:00Oh, Chris.
05:02Can I talk to you for a second?
05:03Absolutely.
05:04I want to talk to you.
05:05100% I do.
05:06Let's have a big old chat.
05:07Okay, Evan.
05:08Let's chat about tonight's party.
05:10Amanda is going to bring some very important people, so this needs to go perfectly.
05:16Yeah?
05:17It's been a great meeting.
05:17Bye.
05:18Okay, and sit back down because I'm not done.
05:19I'm going to be so straight with you, Chris.
05:22Good.
05:24Amanda and I have sensed a shift.
05:28Okay?
05:29Mm-hmm.
05:30Where is the pizzazz?
05:31I don't know.
05:32Where is...
05:33Where did it go?
05:34I feel like you're all in your head.
05:36I'm missing that heart-on-your-sleeve signature spontaneity.
05:42Okay.
05:42Yeah?
05:43Yeah.
05:44You're there.
05:45Mm-hmm.
05:46But are you there?
05:48Hmm.
05:50Well, guess what, Evan?
05:51Tonight, at this 100K party, I'm coming in like a hot rod.
05:56You think I mean the pepperette or the car?
05:59What?
06:00Exactly.
06:01Now, I'm going to show you and Amanda tonight, I'm going to show you exactly what I mean.
06:06All right.
06:06All right.
06:07Yes.
06:08Yes.
06:08That's it.
06:09Okay.
06:10That's that, you know, spicy pizzazz.
06:12Yeah.
06:12You got to bring your A game.
06:14A plus.
06:15Plus, baby.
06:16Nothing screams signature spontaneity like accessories.
06:21Tonight, when I come in, I'm going to wear something like this, but maybe tighter.
06:24Loads of belts.
06:25Loads of bling.
06:27Loads of jewels.
06:28Who's coming in?
06:29The goddamn queen, baby!
06:31Yeah!
06:31Woo!
06:33Yeah!
06:34Maybe you're going to change into something, you know, business cash, but yeah.
06:37I love it when I come in tonight.
06:38You know what?
06:39I'm going to get the party started like this.
06:41Count me in, baby.
06:42I'll count myself.
06:42Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
06:44Christ!
06:45Christ!
06:45Christ!
06:45Hey!
06:46Hey!
06:47Do you think this is some sort of joke?
06:49Huh?
06:49I'm being so serious.
06:51We have to impress people today.
06:54We have investors, potential advertisers.
06:57Evan, I see you, and I promise you, I'm going to do everything it takes to stay ahead of
07:03the curve and keep my job.
07:05So are you going to change?
07:17Hey, Chris.
07:19How's your doctor's appointment go?
07:20Oh, look at me.
07:21I'm remembering things.
07:23Yeah, that's good.
07:24I have a path forward.
07:24I'm moving forward.
07:26And you're back on the horse.
07:27By horse, I mean Pete.
07:28Yeah, not to be all TMI about it, but we fooled around.
07:31It was great.
07:32Everything worked.
07:34Yeah.
07:34Yeah, yeah.
07:35Oh, oh.
07:36I'll see you at the party thing.
07:40I'm going to keep going.
07:47No, no.
07:48You are fixed.
07:50Everything works now.
07:54This is not happening.
07:55Excited for the party tonight?
08:17If by excited you mean obligated, then yes.
08:19Yes, I am.
08:20I put a lot of work into organizing tonight, Julie.
08:23And Amanda is going to finally see me as the producer I know I am.
08:27So if you two are not here, I will come to your homes and drag you here for a good time.
08:34Jeez, someone is grumpy today.
08:37New boyfriend keeping you up?
08:39We only had sex three times last night.
08:40I'm a little wound up.
08:42Three times?
08:43These days, the pod and I are lucky to do it three times a week.
08:46Wait, you have sex with three people three times a week?
08:49Oh, no, sorry.
08:50Bad math.
08:51So there's primary, secondary, tertiary.
08:53That's one times three times two times three, which is 36.
08:56Okay, I get the idea.
08:57Okay.
08:58Just so you guys are aware, I also am a sexual person and I had sex this morning.
09:04Julie, we're at work.
09:05TMI.
09:06Why isn't TMI when I say it?
09:07Don't take this the wrong way, but you're old.
09:10Oh, look.
09:11Anything you guys can do, I can do.
09:13I'm going to join the three times club.
09:14I've already got one under my belt and I'm going to hit two and three today.
09:18Okay.
09:20Did you pull something?
09:21No, I'm Jen X.
09:22I'm walking it off.
09:23Don't break it up.
09:24Oh, you forgot your bubble water.
09:26Oh my gosh, that's so hot.
09:34Hey, everyone.
09:35You having a good time?
09:36Just like...
09:39Oh, yeah.
09:41I'm having a great time.
09:43I love parties.
09:44Oh, fuck.
09:47I love parties.
09:49Oh my...
09:49Julie, what's...
09:51Yay, everyone!
09:55Hi!
09:56I'm...
09:57Just do another entrance and be a person in the world that knows how to enter a party.
10:02Do it.
10:02Go.
10:03You have to leave to go in.
10:04And this.
10:04And this may be a twirl.
10:06Yeah.
10:09Hi, I'm normal.
10:10That is a dead giveaway.
10:12Come.
10:12Well, you just gotta bring this all together.
10:14You don't have anxiety or any passive thoughts about not wanting to exist anymore.
10:18You're a pepporette with a bunch of belts.
10:22Less belts, maybe more belts.
10:24Yeah, me and my mom.
10:27That's it.
10:28Yeah.
10:28You are a flapper.
10:29As soon as you say flap, the party's fucking over.
10:32Do not say flap.
10:33You can do it.
10:34Think about your life and all the things that you've done right.
10:37This is...
10:37This is...
10:39Hey, partner.
10:40Okay, you're gonna go back to basics.
10:50Oh, God.
10:52You look like Steve Jobs.
10:53Chris, it's Yule, the new property manager.
11:04I just wanted to return this.
11:06Oh, you didn't eat any of my thank you mammogram soup.
11:09It was split pea.
11:11I loved it.
11:11It's just my mother always said it was bad luck to return an empty food container.
11:16It's hamburger helper.
11:17I'm not a very good cook.
11:18I love it.
11:20I love crumbled meat.
11:21And things from a box.
11:23Yeah, me too.
11:24Yeah.
11:26Okay, well.
11:27I'll see you later.
11:27Okay, see ya.
11:28Thank you so much.
11:29Actually, do you have a minute or...
11:32Are you going to like a ballet rehearsal or...
11:35Oh, no, no.
11:36I was just...
11:36Just this old thing.
11:38I was getting ready for a party.
11:40I just have a lot of pizzazz, you know.
11:41Okay, I'm sorry.
11:42I should probably go anyway.
11:43I forgot to eat today, so...
11:44No, no.
11:44Did I just hear you say you haven't eaten?
11:46Because you've got to eat.
11:46Because you just brought...
11:47That would be silly.
11:47We're eating together.
11:49Could you...
11:50You heat this up,
11:51and then I'll get ready right quick.
11:53Okay, here.
11:53You know how to use the microwave.
11:56Hello, Pete.
11:57Hey, what's this?
11:58We...
11:58Shh.
12:01HRT Julie is ready for round two.
12:03What do you say?
12:04A what now?
12:05Mm-hmm.
12:05Oh, babe.
12:06To be honest,
12:07I'm still tender from earlier.
12:08Well, who isn't a little sore right now?
12:10Are you in pain?
12:11It's a biggie.
12:12It's like, you know,
12:12it's like that thing
12:13when you go to the gym
12:14and you haven't been for a while
12:15and you work out really hard
12:16and then you're a little sore after.
12:18Delayed onset muscle soreness?
12:20Yeah, doms.
12:21Yeah.
12:21I got doms with a vagina,
12:22but I'm just going to push through.
12:24Yeah.
12:25What's going on with you?
12:26Mm, what isn't going on with me?
12:28Right.
12:29It seems like you're trying to prove something.
12:30Mm, no, I'm not.
12:31We got to go, though.
12:32Tonight is about celebrating you.
12:34That is exactly what I'm trying to do.
12:36Oh, Julie.
12:37Mm-hmm.
12:38Look at this.
12:39This doesn't feel like you and me.
12:41You know, it feels like you're in the second leg
12:43of a triathlon and I'm your bike.
12:46No, look, I understand.
12:47No, no, Pete.
12:48You are understanding,
12:49but you don't understand.
12:51And I,
12:52I feel so lonely in this.
12:54Maybe because you always try
12:55and solve everything yourself.
12:56Well, maybe because if I don't,
12:58nothing ever gets done.
13:01Okay, enjoy the party.
13:03Well, enjoy staying home.
13:05Your quarter chicken dinner
13:06and your shitty hard bun.
13:17Hey, Mr. DJ.
13:19What?
13:19Do you take requests?
13:21No.
13:21Ooh, it's a vagina over there.
13:30Heard about a little cider?
13:31Oh, sure.
13:33Hey, I see you on that wall there.
13:35You produce one of these podcasts?
13:36Oh, yeah, I do.
13:37Well, I did.
13:38I'm in between podcasts right now, so.
13:40What kind of podcast do you produce?
13:42True crime.
13:43Love true crime.
13:44Yeah.
13:45You know, I just find that kind of thing cozy.
13:47Maybe because of what happened to me.
13:49I, um, grew up in this community.
13:55Really tight-knit.
13:57I'm pretty satanic.
13:58I guess you could call it a cult.
14:00Anyways, I got out.
14:01Eventually.
14:02Narrowly.
14:03Oh, what am I doing?
14:04Talking your ear off.
14:05Boring you with my childhood.
14:06Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
14:08You know, um, first-person narratives
14:10are very popular right now.
14:12This could make a really good podcast.
14:14I don't know.
14:15I mean, I am the first person I know
14:18how to make it out alive.
14:20Wow.
14:25Wow.
14:29Hi.
14:30I'm pretty excited for this party night
14:32because I love a work party.
14:33Great.
14:34Um, I got you a fork and a spoon
14:37because I didn't know what you'd prefer.
14:39Would you like to have a seat?
14:40Yeah, I'm going to sit.
14:41Yep.
14:46I'm going to go with a spoon.
14:47Okay.
14:50Oh, my hair, geez.
14:51Sorry, it's all in the...
14:52That's not...
14:53I got it.
15:06Are you sure you're feeling up for tonight?
15:09Yeah.
15:10I'm going to tell you who isn't, though.
15:11My friend, Anna.
15:14She used to be, like, the life of the party,
15:16but she's not anymore.
15:25What's going on with her?
15:27Just, like...
15:28Like, lots.
15:33She's just, like, really struggling right now.
15:35You know, everyone's just like,
15:36oh, my God, Anna, what's wrong with you?
15:39And they're like,
15:40you're so different now.
15:41And I just want it to stop.
15:44Yeah, I know what that's like.
15:47Just wanting to stop.
15:48I don't mean to make it stop for me.
15:50I mean, like, make it stop for Anna, for her.
15:52Yeah.
15:54You seem like a really good friend.
15:57I love this.
15:58What did you put in here?
15:59Did you put in some tomato sauce?
16:01What's going on here?
16:02I love meat.
16:03What did you put in here?
16:04Maybe she should just stay in,
16:06like, skip the party.
16:07I was like your friend, Anna,
16:08for a really long time.
16:10But what I learned
16:11is that if I'm...
16:15struggling,
16:17then...
16:19it's okay to pause.
16:21and it's okay to ask for help.
16:25And those two things
16:27were really, really, really hard.
16:32Sorry.
16:37I...
16:38I really wish
16:39that Anna was here
16:41because I would tell her
16:42what you said
16:43that would help her a lot.
16:48Do you think this outfit
16:50has enough pizzazz?
16:51I think it's the pizzazzies.
16:59I'm gonna walk you
17:00to that party.
17:01Okay.
17:01At the risk of sounding like a weirdo
17:09and giving you a compliment,
17:11this is a pretty amazing party.
17:13What are you doing hiding in here?
17:15I got a text from Amanda.
17:17She's still in L.A. on business.
17:20I went all out to impress her
17:22and she doesn't even show up.
17:23Where's Chris?
17:23I was gonna ask you the same thing.
17:27I don't know.
17:28God, so much for pizzazz.
17:31Mmm.
17:32While I have you...
17:33Mm-hmm.
17:33Your, um...
17:35HRT story's really gaining some traction
17:37in the comments.
17:38Maybe we, uh, keep going with this
17:40and do a few more podcasts, episodes?
17:41I don't know.
17:43You know, I thought it was gonna fix everything,
17:44but it doesn't.
17:45I had a huge fight with Pete tonight,
17:46which is why I'm here solo,
17:47drinking with my work husband,
17:48who I also constantly fight with.
17:50Well, I've been there before.
17:51Really?
18:02Yeah, one day, you are just crushing it at work.
18:06The next day, you walk through the door
18:08and all your shit's packed up in boxes
18:10and you are alone.
18:12Well, I don't think Pete and I are there yet.
18:18I mean, nobody thinks that they're there
18:22until they're there.
18:23Hey, you want another little bloop?
18:25Yeah, bloop me.
18:45Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
18:47Evan!
18:49Evan!
18:50Evan!
18:51Evan!
18:52Evan!
18:53Evan!
18:54Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan.
18:55Hey, just tell him.
18:56Tell him your thing.
18:57Tell him.
18:58He's gonna tell you a thing.
18:59I escaped from a cult.
19:00I think I have a new podcast.
19:03Could be a multi-season series.
19:05I don't know about podcasts.
19:06You guys know about podcasts.
19:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:08Yeah, I like that.
19:09And we could find your family
19:10or, um, what's left of them.
19:12That is, that's dark.
19:15Yeah.
19:16I like it.
19:17Right.
19:18There's this creepy element to it.
19:20Who are you?
19:21You know?
19:22She.
19:23I'm gonna text Amanda.
19:24I'm gonna let her know.
19:25I think she's gonna be really excited.
19:28She's gonna love it!
19:36Hey.
19:37Hey.
19:38So how was your night?
19:41Terrible.
19:42Yeah, mine too.
19:44You wanna talk about it?
19:46No.
19:47Do you wanna talk about it?
19:49No.
19:50Wanna kill some things?
19:52Yeah.
19:53Yeah.
19:54Yeah.
19:55Alright.
19:56Actually, I'm gonna grab a bubble water.
19:58You want one?
19:59Oh.
20:00Here.
20:01Ew, Mom.
20:02What?
20:03That's gross.
20:04Just grab a straw.
20:15Alright.
20:16This is it.
20:24You're welcome.
20:25See ya.
20:35You good?
20:36Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:37I'm good.
20:38Oh, me?
20:39Yeah, I'm good.
20:40I just was like, like practicing.
20:42Like, like, I have to warm up my dance moves before I go in.
20:52Hey.
20:53Yeah, yeah.
20:54I'm just dancing.
20:55Don't.
20:56Hey.
20:57Yeah.
20:58It's too fast.
20:59Yeah.
21:00Yeah.
21:01pod going.
21:02It's too fast.
21:03No.
21:05It's too fast.
21:07Oh, I like the kids...
21:09Mommy!
21:10It's too fast.
21:11I like the kids here, huh?
21:12So, I think, this is too fast.
21:14It's too fast.
21:15It's too fast.
21:16A little bit about it when it comes to your light.
21:17Oh, it's too fast.
21:18I'm just going to breathe.
21:19All the things I do are just probably you.
21:22Only you
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